rantz-for-st0ry

[rantz-for-st0ry]

i hate how any time I talk about how the school did me wrong when I came forward about being sexually assaulted, my father just HAS to talk about when my sister was sexually assaulted.

my assault is NOT the same as my sisters. they were entirely different situations. stop fucking talking about how our aunt victim blamed her or how she treated my sister or anything else. those were horrible things and my sister went through something unimaginable, but I am NOT my sister.

"they only would've don't something if there was penetration, they would've believed you then." thanks for saying you wish I was violated worse than I already had been, dad!! plus- you don't fucking know that!!

plus he acts like I was required to tell him the second it all happened. for one, I didn't even REALIZE I was being sexually assaulted at first. I didn't accept it until I actually had to TALK to them about it. plus, all he's fucking done is talk about what happened with my sister.

if something happened again, I would never tell him. especially consdering his approach. I was NOT required to tell you, dad. shocker, it's humiliating as fuck to try and say "hey dad I let this guy I was stupid enough to trust sexually assault me!"

sometimes I wonder why he's so mad about what happened to my sister, but not about what happened to me? why do I value so much less to him?

[rantz-for-st0ry]

CRAACK BABYY YOU DONT KNWO WHAT YOU WANT BUT YOU KNOOOOWW YOU HAD IT ONCE!! AND YOU KNOOOW THAT YOU WANT IT BACK!!! CRAAACK BABYYY YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOU WANT!! BUT YOU KNOOOOW THAT YOURE NEEDING IT AND YOUUUU THAT YOU NEED IT BAD!!!

[rantz-for-st0ry]

my friends get all fucking shcoked when I finally reach my limit and don't have the energy to be nice to them Abt shit anymore.

like I'm sorry for being fucking honest. sometimes it fucking hurts. suck it the fuck up already.

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the urge to start my "healing era" (the second I say I'm in it I will IMMEDIATELY be hit w trauma worse than I've ever previously experienced.)

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BODY BACK BY BRYE RELEASED!! LETS FUCKIN GO!!!

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smth I think my friends don't realize is that I don't hold any hatred for my ex-boyfriend.

he was sick. he was ill. I didn't know what to do about it. I don't blame him for what happened, nor do I blame myself. we were both kids and he was in a bad situation.

if he tried to text me, I'd still respond. I still love him. underneath all that bad, all the darkness, that had become him, he is still the boy I fell in love with. the one who wrote me metaphors about our love outliving the universe. I still believe his words, I believe our love will be shown in the stars long after we die. because I have never stopped loving him. and I sure as hell don't hate him.

[rantz-for-st0ry]

tfw ur dad forgot to pick u up from rehearsal.

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ofc when I need my big brother most he's not here </3

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me when my dad makes enough money for us to be living upper middle class but I still live in a shitthole filled with black mold that's slowly killing me bc he spends it all on cigarettes and gambling and useless subscription services

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"you're just thinking its a small thing that happened, the world ended when it happened to me" but its me about my dad who doesn't give a crap about my declining health </3

“I have a feeling you got everything you wanted and you’re not wasting time stuck here like me” but it’s me about my siblings who have moved out and left and I’m left here with a dad who loves me but doesn’t care about me enough to keep a full pantry or remember to get dinner

“I have a feeling you got everything you wanted and you’re not wasting time stuck here like me” but it’s me being stuck in December 2023

“I have a feeling you got everything you wanted and you’re not wasting time stuck here like me” but it’s my source mems

[rantz-for-st0ry]

“I have a feeling you got everything you wanted and you’re not wasting time stuck here like me” but it’s me about my siblings who have moved out and left and I’m left here with a dad who loves me but doesn’t care about me enough to keep a full pantry or remember to get dinner

“I have a feeling you got everything you wanted and you’re not wasting time stuck here like me” but it’s me being stuck in December 2023

“I have a feeling you got everything you wanted and you’re not wasting time stuck here like me” but it’s my source mems

[rantz-for-st0ry]

i am, in fact, the guy friend who brings his partner (aka, in case, my best friend and platonic soul mate) who is not in the group to group events

[rantz-for-st0ry]

when that specific thing that happened a bit ago isn't triggering anymore until it Is. (aka it always is I just don't realize it is sometimes because its been triggering me for like a year now)

[rantz-for-st0ry]

this was NOT meant for this blog. 💀

sometimes when I read the word anarchist I think it says antichrist bc I read it too quickly. had to re-read many fics cus I thought they said "Technoblade, the antichrist" when they actually said anarchist

[rantz-for-st0ry]

sometimes when I read the word anarchist I think it says antichrist bc I read it too quickly. had to re-read many fics cus I thought they said "Technoblade, the antichrist" when they actually said anarchist

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My friends when I finally get tired of being the butt of literally all their jokes

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"he changed you for the better!" no. no he wrapped me in a tight embrace, placed a hand on my cheek, and kissed me gently on the forehead before he began ripping off my skin. he scratched with sharp claws, he bit with teeth I still remember the feeling of, stripping me bit by bit, layer by layer, until I was a gorey mess on his bedroom floor, nothing but a bare and blood covered skeleton. he didn't change me, I never left that bedroom. I died there. my body remains unburied and shoved in a closet.