rapturousdivinity

[rapturousdivinity]

The World Reversed

I had fallen asleep. Behind the door. The door with the symbol, the one that smells of mildew and sharpies.

That was a mistake.

Although I enjoy my conversations with the amorphous being in there, I know better than to fully put my life in the metaphorical hands of something that preys on humans.

There was a droning noise. Very loud, and that was what woke me. The entity was nowhere to be found, but I had a feeling that I wasn't in the same place I was before.

The walls were made of stone, but it wasn't any type of rock I'd seen before. There were etchings in the stone walls.

I could tell it had been a few hours by the way my medicine was wearing off. Something felt wrong with the air, too. A bright light opened in an alcove of the wall opposite from me. Something came out of it. The light must have been some type of porte.

I don't know if wherever that was is a part of the other world or not. I saw the creature coming through, then I was trying to pull myself out of a creek.

Fucking bloody hell.

~ Ira

[rapturousdivinity]

Perhaps in another life, he would be alive. Perhaps in another life, I could have saved him. But I am stuck here, in this life, with no way out, and it just so happens that I was harboring the thing that threatened him the most.

They did horrible things to me, but inside I know that it doesn't excuse the things I did. The things I do.

I still deal with the guilt. It's one of the only things I have left of him.

Perhaps I had the potential to be normal, to get better, to be a better person. I don't know at what point that option was erased.

Maybe I am still that child, locked in a dark room, poked and prodded for research, or maybe the child that was left in a basement without the thing I relied on to move. Maybe I am the child who was forced into dresses, given a name that was not my own, the child without a voice to tell people anything.

But most likely, in all of those moments, in all of my lives, I am a mosaic of the broken pieces left behind.

Somehow in a world where monsters exist, I was instead attacked by humans. How fitting for someone like me.

~ 03

[rapturousdivinity]

There was one time, at least during this expanse of time, when we are who we are, where instead of our normal routine with our hunts, we did something different.

But it was only different in the amount of time he had a pulse. Usually we hunt and Ira takes care of it once he catches up, but.. this time was different. Argos had a request for this specific one. A new trick they had learned.

The concept of such a power existing is horrifying. But our kind are nothing if not exactly that. Rarely is there ever an exception.

We kept him alive. Contained, but alive. Not with the same mind, but alive. You see, Padma's influence can, to a normal human, destroy their mind, especially after longer exposure. There is a lot that can be done with this, but Argos used it to their whims during this.. experiment.

He was reduced. Instead of being what he once was, where he used his mind for evil, Argos had made him have the capacity more fit for the beast he has acted like. The human's mind was completely destroyed beyond repair. Padma can gift knowledge, but can also decay the mind from the inside out.

Ira did not take part in this experiment, and I can see why he didn't wish to despite his obvious curiosity. He was more than happy to give up his jerky for the cause, though.

I can see through the reasoning. I know why Argos chose this specific one.

My abilities can cause.. side effects to the human nervous system, but I've long since learned to control what signal would flip what switch in a body. I can erase memory, but I more trigger that through my signals through other pathways. Being in my profession has given me a lot of insight into how I effect others. It's illuminating to see how the three of us and our abilities differ from one another, but also how we are alike.

~ 🐚

[rapturousdivinity]

People can do horrible things for the people they love.

That was not the reason they did this.

[rapturousdivinity]

Predecessors

We remember things. Memories that aren't ours, passed down and up to us. As if our patrons are a creek bed, and any person taken by them are the rocks layering the bottom.

I see things from people who have been used by Abaddon at one point or another. Sometimes I see things from Abaddon itself.

While I am able to, I thought it would be nice to share what I know from before. Abaddon is not of earth, an entity that existed in a different reality from our own, alongside the rest of its kind.

The best way to describe its relation to it's own species might be "heretic", "outcast", or "hermit".

It enjoyed to compile knowledge. Not just on paper, but in itself. Like a living memory bank. Its own world was on the brink of destruction, from the ones who eat. Abaddon had come to terms with dying, although it wished to save the memories and knowledge it had collected.

Padma is a strange entity. There are a few like it, but none of them are truly the same. These creatures feed from knowledge, while supplementing any needed growth by

It had shown itself to Abaddon then. Offered to grant the wish to keep the wisdom alive. All it had to do was complete a ritual.

~ Ira

[rapturousdivinity]

[rapturousdivinity]

Voice in the Wilderness

I have had a lot of time on my own. Physically, at least. Of course, if anyone is looking at this blog, they may assume that. This life of mine seems to be full of introspection..

There's things about the monsters that I notice. I tend to get closer than the average joe, most of the time without repercussions. That only applies to the allied, though.

The monsters just exist for themselves. Some of them have truces with one another, usually to share resources or prey. Our trio of patrons is like that with the tall thing in the trees. I've seen others that work with it, as well, but I try to stick to those I am already comfortable with. The human ones can be liabilities, too, even at the best of times.

Human technology, especially the internet, has been a game changer for the monsters. Hell, it's even created new ones.

There have been a couple times where I've gotten too close to Padma. Seen too much. I h

too many in there. Too much to see.

Some things are best without names. Intention means everything. There's many rules with the creatures, but a lot of them are just ass-backwards. Some are more like animals, some are more like humans who have lost their minds.

Honestly surprised I'm as put together.. I feel like I should be much more decayed by now. Definitely would be, if I was normal. But I have blood that looks like dirt, and fucked up skin.

~ I.

[rapturousdivinity]

Happy birthday, Ira.

~ Malachi

[rapturousdivinity]

Strain

The escape.. It was so much fun. It felt like fun. Of course, I was a child, and any adrenaline in my body was put there from violent circumstances. Of course I thought it was fun, running away.

It was the night I let Abaddon in. After the men in white moved Argos into my room. After I saw the holy violence of Padma for the first time.

I was tired. Tired of feeling trapped. Tired of being hurt. I was thin and frail. It promised me that I'd never have to be under a human's thumb, never again. Abaddon promised I'd never be trapped unless it was of my own will.

Abaddon took us outside that night. I didn't know how, at the time, but now I understand that it is similar to the tall thing in the trees, in how it moved us from one place to another.

It was like a race. I held Argos' hand, and they held mine back so hard I thought I could feel the bones creaking. The cold air, the rain, the mud beneath our bare feet. We ran and got to the fence. At the end of the race were trees, and the tall being.

One minute it was raining and we were up against the fence, and the next moment, we were in a clearing on a sunny day. I had felt something different about myself, then. It's difficult to explain. It was a feeling, but.. Like if you could feel all of the molecules that make up your body, and you knew they were in a different pattern. Rearranged and replaced and reformatted.

I could never have explained that in the past, sure as shit not way back then.

I don't know how long we were gone. It took the men in white a while to find us, once me and Argos had returned from the other side.

~ Ira

[rapturousdivinity]

Chase

The cameras will not save you.

Film can be destroyed.

Tapes can be burned.

Files can be deleted.

Your memories are not indestructible. They can be warped, broken, and erased, just like the film you hold in your hands.

Sometimes your mind doesn't remember, but your body does. Sometimes your soul remembers when your mind and body do not.

Your sins will chase you to your grave. What goes up must come down. Time will always run out, as it has been made to, since before time had a name.

~ 🐚 Malachi

[rapturousdivinity]

Sciomachy

I have gone to bars with my coworkers after shifts.

They talk about their families, partners, children. I listen knowing that I will never have what they have. I don't even know if I truly want what they have, either. But it still feels like grieving what could have been if we were normal.

I've tried to find partners before. I've had roommates, to try and at least get some interaction with people. Make myself feel more like a living person and not an empty husk. Never engaged enough, freak people out, too quiet, stare too much.

It always ends badly. The monsters either get them, or I push them away, isolate myself, in an attempt to protect them. Other people turn heel and run when they see my apartment. I try to clean it, but every time I sleep, wake up, it just..

I can't coax myself into getting attached anymore. The same thing happens, every time. Yet I still try.

It seems impossible to trust people, too. People lie about how their feeling. I can't see into them, hear their thoughts like I can with my two.. friends? I don't know what we would call our little trio.

I feel like people can see that I'm.. not right. Always in the background. I have to lie to people about the gloves; I just say I have some skin condition that requires that I cover my hands. Don't want people thinking too much about it. There's only so much I can augment about people.

When my friends look at me, they don't have the.. pity in their eyes. They don't look at me like I'm someone who's broken. They look at me, see me, as a whole. They know my secrets, just as I know theirs. We don't hide things from each other.

At least, we stopped hiding things from each other a couple years ago. We've been united again at this point for four years, I believe? It makes me wonder how much longer we have before we are separated again, dispatched, reset. I hope when this time around ends, we can at least expire together. It's been a few times since we did that.

~🐚

[rapturousdivinity]

Hermetic

Monsters. What makes one? How are they created?

We've found interest in it. Hell, Ira collects and catalogs folders of anything and everything that has to do with all of this cosmic bullshit. Whole storage unit dedicated to file boxes of it. Some weird items in there, too. Things we really shouldn't let out of there.

I've heard and investigated many stories of ways inhuman beings have been created. Things that may look human, but are not quite, and things that could never even hope to resemble anything human-shaped.

Most common, they can be created through intent of a living being. Any emotion strong enough would do it. A feeling to overflow from a physical form. Although it's real fucking rare.

Our entities, though, are not really like that. They're one of the few that have been around a while. Like, before humans. Before dinosaurs. Before earth. I called them aliens but Ira and Malachi just fucking rolled their eyes at me. They are technically aliens, though, could be considered that. Aliens that are some of the last of their kind.

The thing that follows me, besides the tall thing in the trees, just kinda hangs out in the shadows. I mean literally. I only ever see it in shadows, or darkness. Manipulating the shade around it, I guess. That's also how I got it to cling onto Ira, before the shitbirds moved him into that circle.

I don't know where they're from exactly, but apparently there is more of them. Or, at least, used to be more of them. It sucks, feeling things that aren't made for people to feel. It makes you feel crazy. Knowing no one will ever be able to relate.

I heard of a case of a woman who, like.. fucking gave birth to something, too. Involvement with shitbirds similar to the ones tracking us.

Generational curses are another thing, too. I've seen a few of those. Fucking sucks, being roped into something, no escape, all because you share blood with someone.

There's monsters that just stick to children. Me and Ira have accidentally walked upon some things' territory before, in the other world. Repurposing the children it takes. It feels disgusting to me. But Ira said it's just a part of those things' nature. Like a fox stealing an egg from a nest to eat.

Heard of things that just.. Eat. So huge you can't conceptualize it, can't imagine it. Floating through space and eating anything they come across. Planets, stars, other living beings, anything.

When we learn about this stuff, find new things to add to the boxes of shit in the unit, I feel content. There's always this freaky feeling inside me, like my skeleton wants me to go somewhere. Like something is missing. It stops when we find things, at least for a while. My parents call me hyperactive, but it's.. way worse when me or Malachi haven't found a new lead in over a month.

~ Argos 🫀

[rapturousdivinity]

Conglomeration

One of the ways we fit together, besides the obvious, cosmic reasoning, is how we seamlessly work around each other. There are perks to mentally hearing, conversating, with each other near-constantly.

We talk, we hear each others thoughts, subconscious needs, and our pain. But I also see the fact that a lot of our ability is through our differences. One will cover where another may be lacking. We have enough in common to work together.

Perhaps why we're the only ones who.. made it out. That we know of.

There may have been others held where we were kept. We don't know for sure. There's no way to know for sure. Hell, there could have been other facilities besides the one we were held in.

The reasoning behind why we may type similarly to each other, is because.. Well, at least me and Argos do. We speak similarly. Verbally. Sometimes I forget that Ira doesn't talk. It feels like he does. We know what he is trying to convey, even when his mouth isn't moving, no sound physically reaches us. But we still hear him. We have the same speech patterns, the same tilts in our voices. I guess that can happen when you hear each other so much that you forget who is who.

It hurts to watch Argos. Me and Ira have been through the song-and-dance before. Of amputating your needs and sense of self for someone else. Argos tries to ignore the obvious, even when it looms, ever present.

Something bad will happen to that human, and it will destroy them in the process. Humanity is temporary.

I wish I had gotten to Ira before their situation had come to a breaking point. Before his adopted mother had been taken by the organization. Before Abaddon had made the deal. I wish I could help Argos like I could not help Ira, but they are stubborn. They will be independent until the very last possible moment. It's like watching a car crash, when you already know the outcome.

~ Malachi 🐚

[rapturousdivinity]

Lacerable

It was only silence that met me when I woke in there. I couldn't hear my comrades. I couldn't see. I thought those humans had killed them. I couldn't fidget to soothe the anxiety of feeling like I had my limbs cut off. The silence makes me feel that way. Feels like my blood is made of panic.

So proud of you, Argos. Thank you. It probably wasn't easy using a blade to communicate with me. To tell me through pain that you and Malachi were alive. "ALIVE". We are. We're alive.

I still kind of feel them. Phantoms of needles. Needles that those humans had stuck into my torso, beneath each rib, as torture. Used my already limited regeneration against me. Trying to get the upper hand over beings that they have no hope of understanding.

We wish to spit on their graves. But where they are now, I'm pretty sure they're not getting the liberty of a burial sight.

I cannot speak. Those 'shitbirds' did not do their research on me. Trapping something without knowing how to control it. You can have your priests and sighted shout at me all you want, I can't say shit.

Chalk. How fucking idiotic can you be?

They had all types of those with the sight come to see me. Any sighted one they could get their hands on. One burned, one bled, one blinded. One was.. Different. I don't know how to describe her. She was younger, around at least twenty. Less set in the ways of those surrounding her.

She was put off by the red. Both mine and not mine. The human introduced herself, something the previous had not done. She acted as if I was a human she was meeting, but I could see. I could see the deep-seated dread brewing in her.

She had something the others did not. Curiosity, but not willing to destroy life to achieve knowledge. Clean curiosity.

I showed that one. I showed her everything. What felt like thousands of years to her and to me, only three seconds in actuality. We spoke internally. She promised not to tell, but as much as I hold my promises, I know humans are not so inclined, especially those with a metaphorical gun to their head.

The human was leaving. One silent little scuff of her heal on the outer band of the sigil.. A mischievous glance thrown back towards me. An omen.

I waited until she had left before setting about my business. The mental chatter had faded in as the sigil was broken, and I felt like I wanted to scream with relief of not being doomed to silence. I think all of us screamed when we were to safety. They had found me, snuck in, but hadn't set about freeing me yet. What luck.

We escaped. Malachi helped me limp out of there. I was able to feed again. I had some fresh stuff from the cull that was the result of my stay.

Also had some french fries, at Argos' relentless pestering.

I don't know if I want to describe what the ritual entails.

My wounds have healed since my time there. I don't know when I am typing this. By the time this is received by the outer web, my ritual should be redone and finished out.

See you on the other side. Ira.

[rapturousdivinity]

What happened to the Twitter account ?

The platform became unsafe. Compromised. So we deleted it. We had theorized this would happen, at some point in time, hence why we would cross-post using screenshots.

~ Argos 🫀

[rapturousdivinity]

Hollow Victory

Ira is home. Safe now. I'm monitoring his condition. He went through a lot.

This blog, our internet journal, may be silent for a while. I don't know how long that time will translate into you lot. Taking care of our loved ones takes priority over typing out our thoughts, to whoever even fucking bothers to read these.

The person who helped, you know who you are, if you're reading this. I don't know why you did what you did. If you genuinely felt sympathy for us or not. If there's a more sinister reasoning. I don't care at this point. Thank you. For returning him.

What he showed you, it would break a normal human, seeing it. If you feed it back to those evil humans, I will personally have a problem with you.

À bientôt.

~ 🐚 Malachi

[rapturousdivinity]

I feel torn. I shouldn't. I do, though.

My father keeps getting to the top of the.. "Shit list" as 02 calls it.. We keep bumping him down. He's on borrowed time, at least, he should be.

I don't know if I can do it. He hurt me so much, besides that flicker of empathy, of pity, in his eyes as he stood stoically with his coworkers. Stood with them as they tortured me. He created me to be tortured. He knew from the beginning.

I feel apathetic. Void. I want him to hurt as I did, but I don't know if I can do it. We want this to be over. That was the hope of the list, Breaking their cycle of heinous acts. Dirtying our hands so those after us don't have to.

I ran into another one who can see, a while ago, in the human realm. That was confirmation enough that Abaddon is coming back. Our line is not completely severed.

They saw Abaddon. They probably weren't used to it, based on their reaction. Humans with the sight can see the entities that attach to us, even if it isn't currently focused on us.

My father had.. Has the sight. It was passed to me, but for me, I feel the ability is worthless.

I saw something the other day. The ocean. I hadn't seen it, not while I've been me. It was.. calming. Weirdly enough, the tall thing took me. There was something there, and I nabbed it. That was probably why it made me go.

~ Ira.