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[ratstronaut]

i want to share with you some of my favourite graffiti from Pompeii

“Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men’s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!“ 

“Amplicatus, I know that Icarus is buggering you. Salvius wrote this.“ 

“We two dear men, friends forever, were here. If you want to know our names, they are Gaius and Aulus.“

“Floronius, privileged soldier of the 7th legion, was here. The women did not know of his presence. Only six women came to know, too few for such a stallion.“

“On April 19th, I made bread.“

“ I have buggered men.“

“If anyone does not believe in Venus, they should gaze at my girlfriend.“

“It took 640 paces to walk back and forth between here and there ten times.“

“Chie, I hope your hemorrhoids rub together so much that they hurt worse than when they every have before!“

“Epaphra is not good at ball games.”

“Two friends were here.  While they were, they had bad service in every way from a guy named Epaphroditus.  They threw him out and spent 105 and half sestertii most agreeably on whores.“

“Secundus likes to screw boys.“

[ratstronaut]

man who looks like woman… save me.. man who looks like woman.. save me man who looks like woman

[ratstronaut]

Kill me once, shame on you. Kill me twice, how did you did that.

[ratstronaut]

[ratstronaut]

however many times I tell you I want to meet my celebrity crushes NEVER LET ME I WILL BITE THEM HARD

[ratstronaut]

Being neurodivergent is just having a Demicolon attached to every single sentence that comes out of your mouth.

For those who don't know what a Demicolon is:

[ratstronaut]

[ratstronaut]

Big huge fan of the way people eyes soften when looking at people they love it’s like they can’t help but let their guard down and open their hearts up

[ratstronaut]

born to “womp womp” forced to “I’m so sorry for your loss”

[ratstronaut]

[ratstronaut]

“sorry I can’t hang out. yeah I’ve got big plans.”

starts playing dress up alone in my room on a sunday night

[ratstronaut]

'you wouldn't pirate a-' i would steal anything from any company. anything in the world. i dont even want it i just hate you

[ratstronaut]

4 days until wet rat wednesday

[ratstronaut]

hey sorry i can't come out tonight i have a thing

[ratstronaut]

I love it when people use "shrimp" to mean "beyond the human range". like "shrimp colors" but applied to other things. "shrimp emotions" "shrimp sounds" "shrimp morality", as if shrimp are living some kind of transcendent existence that humans can never comprehend

[ratstronaut]

we're running out of time to fuck it we ball....

[ratstronaut]

All I need is for someone to gently cup my face and tell me I'm not as doomed as I feel.