rawr-monsters

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The problem with having a child with an attorney that has spoken to the child like an adult since birth is that she's 4 years old and she's negotiating the order in which we're going to complete tasks as a family to best suit her idea of an ideal day.

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me normally: i'm not personally a huge fan of modern art

me around right wingers: I love modern art sooooo much and I think there should be litter boxes in schools also

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ALEX HIRSCH PLEASE

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my sincerest apologies to clark's actual existent rizz but every single time i watch this scene this is what's happening in my head

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oh fuck the "teleport directly into minecraft" glitch i've been waiting for a video on that

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Unmute !

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the world may be a dark place sometimes but there are also 1200 year old paw prints from a happy kitty cat out there

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He drinks a whisky drink (action) he drinks a vodka drink (bonus action) he drinks a lager drink (hasted action) he drinks a cider drink (action surge)

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Anybody else got like,, rlly random connections to famous ppl?? Like my older brothers were friends w Jennifer Lawrence when they were like 12 and I just found out I’m friends w the cousin of the girl who voiced honey lemon in big hero six like, idk what I’m supposed to do with either of these tid bits I feel like I was supposed to live my life in ignorance of them

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Masterpost of fic recs

(Sorted by fandom)

All fic recs

DCU

Marvel

Danny Phantom

Good Omens

ATLA

PJO

Star Wars

Crossover fic recs

Fic recs made by others

There are also more fic recs under my ao3 bookmarks here

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the Danny Phantom fandom will forever be the funniest group of motherfuckers on the internet to me simply bc of how they created and named the Weston family. in order from stupid to stupider we've got Kyle Weston. Wes Weston. Easton Weston. are you kidding me thats SO funny, 10/10 work all around. they didn't need to do that either, these are all fanon-adopted OCs and they could have been named anything. Easton Weston, oh my GOD.

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I need a dpxdc Crossover scenario where, somehow, Danny Fenton and Billy Batson end up at the same school. Maybe Danny is a year older but he got held back in a subject, so they’re both in the same bio class. Danny as a Sophomore and Billy as a Freshman. They’re lab partners and they hang out during school, and neither of them have any clue the other is a superhero. Danny is so used to everyone having Kinda Weird vibes from Amity that Billy doesn't ping anything and Billy has the same thing where everyone is Fawcett is a little Off, nothing particularly different about this guy.

Later on, both of them have joined the league as Shazam and Phantom and they still have literally no clue the other is a superhero. Billy doesn't recognize Danny as Phantom because of the altered features and Extremely Weird Vibes and obviously Danny doesn't think to compare the adult man Shazam with his fourteen-year-old buddy Billy. They both think the other is a semi-immortal being and they are both desperately making shit up about past events and praying they got it right. They both are continuously amazed that they're so good at guessing historical facts. They keep having to agree to random historical events that may or may not have happened because the other guy said so. They are both passing World History with flying colors because of the research they have to do to keep the "ruse" up

Eventually, someone's identity gets revealed (I'm thinking Billy) to the League, which is really dramatic and emotional about how Billy lied to everyone about his age and history for so long. And then Danny arrives ten minutes late with a Starbucks like "hey why is everyone freaking out. Why is superman crying. Why is B-this random kid here. On the Watchtower. What."

Someone goes "Phantom, I know you and Shazam were close, did you know he was secretly the fourteen-year-old Billy Batson? He's been lying to us about his past this whole time!"

Billy: D:

Phantom: :/ UH so while we're on the subject *transforms from Phantom to Danny* hey Billy!

Billy: DANNY?

Anyways its a whole confusing mess and everyone is yelling and nobody knows what the fuck is going on but eventually its cleared up that yes, both Phantom and Shazam are secretly kids, they apparently know each other but only in their secret IDs, and they have in fact been bullshitting Ancient History facts like there's no tomorrow

But the important part here is that Billy and Danny pass their lab final, because thats what really matters

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Ellie isn't allowed to travel alone Anymore

So! Ellie was raised in a Lab by a Genuine Bonefied Supervillain. She was raised to be a Villain as well, so her Moral Conpass is a little skewed.

Sure she *mostly* knows what is right and wrong from Danny's quick lesson before her Adventure around the Country, but she still has trouble separating what is moral and what is not from time to time.

So it's really no surprise that the moment she left Amity Park she somehow ended up being branded a Villain.

Look, it's not her fault she didn't know not to attack the flying guy in Blue Spandex when he approached her! One of Danny's biggest warnings shen she left had been Stranger Danger! She did what any 12 year old girl would have done when approached by a strange Older Man!

Its also not her fault that her powers (being Magic based), managed to affect him! She didn't even use her full power! (She maybe should have kicked him in a different place tho...she hopes he wasn't planning on having kids...)

So she did what her instincts told her to do. She took any money he had on him and ran the hell away!

It wasn't until she was 2 cities over when she saw a newspaper titled, "Little Villain Girl Mugs Superman in Broad Daylight!", that she realized she may have screwed up...

After that, she really had no excuse.

She knew that she probably shouldn't have kept Mugging the Heroes who approached her, but she wasn't a Fenton for nothing! Her Family Motto had always been "Commit to the Bit", and she was gonna stick to it!

So when the Fast Red Guy tried to tie her up, she phased off all his clothes and took off with his money (not the mask, she knew enough not to take that off)

And when the Grumpy Bat Guy tried to corner her with some weird papers he pulled out of his Belt, she just distracted him while her clone picked his pockets and made off with the wheels of his Car. That one made her a pretty penny!

The flying Green Guy was fun, his attacks were just throwing Ghost Candy (pure willpower) at her. He did stop doing do after she nicked his fancy talking Ring however, but it was fun while it lasted

Then she came across a Orange Fish Guy, and he actually seemed nice enough. But she was committing to the Bit, so she took the fancy Trident he had and sold it at a nearby Pawn Shop for some extra cash. He would probably be able to find it, that's why she chose a nearby location.

All in All, her Adventure had been really fun! So she decided to visit Amity Park again to tell Danny all about it!

...

Aquaman walked into the meeting room of the Watchtower, a very frustrated look in his eye.

Barry spoke up first, "Oh! I know that look in your eye! She got to you too didn't she!"

Arthur just glared at Barry for a second before walking over to his Chair, sitting down with a thump. "She is certainly a tricky child."

"What did she take this time?" Clark asked.

"..mttrident..." Arthur grumbled out quickly.

"What was that?" Asked Barry with a twinkle in his eye. He heard it, but he wanted everybody else to know.

"She took my trident, Okay!" Arthur shouted out.

"I feel ya man." Responded Hal, "At least with me she threw it back at me when she realized it wasn't making 'candy' anymore. What did she do with yours?"

"She sold it at a Pawn Shop!" Arthus yelled in frustration, "She managed to steal one of the most Powerful Magical Weapons in the world, the Symbol of the entire Atalantean Royal Bloodline, and she sold it and a Pawn Shop!"

"...how much did she get for it?" Asked Hal.

At this, Aquaman just collapsed to the table and groaned.

...

Alternatively she could have just kept all those things, and gradually built up a collection of all the JLA's most treasured possessions.

She has Supermans Wallet, not very important to him but it was her first mugging

She has Batmans Utility Belt (trackers removed) along with his Tires

She took Flashes Costume Ring (his civilian clothes still stuck inside)

She took Green Lanterns ring as well, but unfortunately it managed to escape after a few days. It was feisty.

And her crowning Jewel is the Trident she took from Aquaman.

(She avoided WW, cause she likes her too much to steal anything from her)

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The Ghost King's Son

So! Cloning is a difficult process.

It takes time, lots of time. Sure, it's possible to accelerate the Growth of a Clone to make them older in a shorter time frame, but that often leads to Destabilization within weeks of completion.

And Cadmus didn't want to take any chances when designing their Kryptonian/Human Hybrid. They started growing him much earlier than they originally did, and let him grow at a semi-normal rate for most of his life.

This comes back to bite them in the butt however, when an asset breaks out of containment and ruins their Internal Power Generators. This causes a blackout that takes hours to resolve, and by the time they fix it all and reestablish the Security Systems, they notice one of the Clones is missing.

The Kryptonian/Human Clone has escaped.

...

Kr-1 is confused. He had woken up in a tube a few hours ago to some alarms, and decided he didn't like it, so he broke out. Then he wandered around until he ended up outside, and just kept on Wandering.

It had been hours, and he didn't know where he was. It seemed to be some type of Forest, but he didn't know what kind.

He just kept on wandering. It started to get boring though, the trees all looked the same and there weren't even any animals around. Then, something interesting happened!

A green thing appeared in the air! It was glowing and swirly and had a kind of pull to it. So, he touched it. And it sucked him in. And now he wasn't in the Forest. And this place seemed much more interesting!

There were a bunch of floating rocks, and the sky was green, and everything else was purple.

And there was a man. Looking at him hurt his eyes, he seemed to be a kid and then an man and then an old man and then a kid again whenever he blinked. He was saying something, but Kr-1 didn't understand him. He didn't think he had been taught language yet? What was language?

The Kid/Man/Old-Man lead him to a big building made of bricks and mortar. It looked like a big spiky building with towers and walls and stuff. Inside it looked cool, with candles and carpets and even more stuff.

He was taken to a room with a guy who didn't hurt his eyes to look at. He had white hair and green eyes, but his skin wasn't blue like the old guy. He had a piece of ice on his head, it looked like a crown but it was glowing.

The Guy walked up to him and pointed to himself, and kept repeating something. "Danny".

Eventually Kr-1 realized that it was his name. He then pointed to Him and said "name?"

He tilted his head confused, and the guy, Danny, let his head fall with a sigh.

"This is gonna be harder than I thought."

He wondered what those words mean?

...

It had been a few years since the newly dubbed Conner had begun to live with Danny.

He had been hesitant to adopt the Living 9 yr old Child when Clockwork had brought him to his Castle, explaining that he had run into a Natural Portal, but he had accepted in the end.

It took a while to teach Conner how to understand Language. He seemed to know very little for a kid his age, but after Clockwork had dug around his personal timeline they figured out that he was a Clone. He probably hadn't reached the Information Planting Stage of development when he escaped.

After learning about this however, Danny began teaching him everything he should have learned in his early life, such as Elementary level education and some social interaction. He even brought around Ellie to see if she had any advice for helping him develop into a healthy young boy.

She did help a bit, but was mostly preoccupied with spoiling her new Nephew rotten.

Eventually, Conner had caught up to the level he should have been at his age, and started living in both the Realms and in Amity.

He was having a good life, had some great friends, and was even starting to learn to use his Kryptonian Powers now that they were coming in.

He loves his new Family, his Dad is goofy and fun, his Aunt Ellie likes to spoil him rotten, his Aunt Jazz is the responsible one but still loves him, and even his grandparents are great in their own Insane way.

But not all great things can last.

...

It was supposed to be a normal Field Trip. Conner was 15 and his school was taking a Trip to Washington DC, to see the sights or to learn about history or something.

But stuff happens. They just so happen to pass by a certain lab, that lab just so happens to be testing out a new Yellow Sun Energy Detector, and one of the Scientists who worked on Conner just so happens to see him in the bus as it passes by and the detector goes off.

In the end, they manage to recapture him and place him back into his Pod, beginning to prep him for Reeducation. (Let's say they mamage to repress his memories)

Cut to 1 year later and a team of Sidekicks break into the Lab and successfully steal away the Clone again.

The Clone who knows he had a dad who had black hair and blue eyes, who helped him use his powers, who looks a lot like Superman.

Conner, in his slightly Amnesiac state thinks he has already met Superman and that he had raised him. Which makes it so much more hurtful when Superman outright rejects him. He thinks his Dad just rejected him, the Dad who he thinks he remembers loving him very much.

(Danny had been frantically looking for his son for over a year now. Where is he? Is he Okay? What happened to him? He knows at least that he isn't dead yet, but he really wants to find his son)

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Danny meeting Conner in every DPxDC fic:

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Danny Phantom AU/Headcanons Masterlist

Valerie is actually Amity's hero concept

Everyone secretly has a dead ghost twin chart

DpxDC "everyone thinks danny is a tragedy but he's just a teacher"

Dpxdc with Billy and Danny being lab partners

Jason ends up in the Infinite Realms (with fic)

DpxDC Danny really wants Conner to be the evil clone

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DP x DC AU where the entire JL thinks Danny a dead high school student tragically still haunting his school and pretending to live out the life he never had but he’s just a fucking teacher at Casper High

Reasons they think this:

Danny’s ghost form is permanently 14. Reasonable enough for them to think he’s a high schooler, considering he looks like a high schooler

His schedule operates around a standard school schedule (only free in the afternoons, weekends, and holidays)

Occasionally slips up and mentions “school” as a location (“back at school”, “i was by the school”)

He seems to have a lot of beef with high schoolers, like, as a concept (because he is a teacher. tell me high school teachers do not have beef with The Concept of High Schoolers)

Danny teaches science at Casper High, mostly ectobiology and other science classes. He absolutely loves his job except when he hates his job because he has to cancel class because one of his ghost buddies is tearing up city hall to get his attention or whatever. His identity is kind of an open secret in Amity where We Pretend We Don’t Know Mr. Fenton Is Phantom And He Doesn’t Give Us A Pop Quiz.

Danny CAN change his ghostly form. In Amity he shows up as an adult ghost but he had the Brilliant Idea to disguise his identity by appearing as a 14 year old to the JL, also to lean into the timelessness of his ghost form, because he’s been reported as a 14 year old for over a decade now.

Danny doesn’t know the JL thinks he’s haunting his old high school or something. This is because his a) lying and b) observation skills have not improved since he first died. He thinks he has them fully convinced he’s an immortal being from like, 1000 BC, a la Captain Marvel. He does not.