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Legends Never Die

I'm sitting here, watching the rain rustle the golden leaves free. Watching them fall like so many fallen stars. I'm glad it's not sunny today. I don't think I could bear it in light of the news that's shaken the B-T fandom.

My feelings have been echoed already by so many. Grief, sadness, shock, devastation, heartbreak. Gratitude for what was while lamenting what can no longer be.

Like Imai said on his Instagram, you know this day will come but . . . you never imagine it will be so soon.

I've been mulling over what to write, what to say. But what can I say? He was so much to so many.

For me, Sakurai was the light at the end of a dark tunnel. He was color in a world of grey. A songbird. A steady hand when I felt myself crumbling . . . a kind heart when my own felt fragmented, and a compassionate ear, listening to my sorrows with patience when I fumbled through trying to make sense of anything.

His words have comforted me, inspired me.

He was a kindred spirit.

My heart feels his loss like I've lost a part of myself. There's a hollowness now, an ache that cannot be diminished. His voice awoke something in me, the will to live really. It would be so easy now to say that with him gone, there's no point. No more purpose. The world is ashen. That's my grief talking. I know there's still a point because he existed, because he lived, and he shared his voice and stories with the world.

It hurts. But I made a promise, and I intend to keep it.

I said I would live.

And I will.

And when I see things that remind me of him I will say his name.

When I experience beauty, when I taste something delicious, when I savor a good glass of wine, when I look at the moon, when I smell the rain, when the snow falls just so . . . I will think of him, and I will smile, and I will say, "Isn't this beautiful, Acchan? It's for you."

And I will feel a little less lonely in my heart knowing that he is free now. He can be anywhere. He can be with all of us. He can be the rain, he can sing with the wind.

He can dance with the stars, and he can be reunited with those he's loved and lost.

As we will be with him one day again.

But not yet. I have a promise to keep.

Until then . . .

夢で会える. 夢で会える. 待っています.

永遠 . . .

My love is for always. 💙💙💙

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SABBAT (1989)

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Images are scanned from my personal collection. Feel free to use, credit is appreciated. Do not alter in any malicious or demeaning manner.

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Acchan with cats

I hope you live a happy life in heaven

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Memories...

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Sakurai Atsushi | 1990

[long hair era 🖤]

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Atsushi Sakurai x Hiroshi | Switch Interview

- About human relationships and more topics

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hello again! i keep saying that i won’t come to this blog again yet i still do.

anyhow, a friend has brought to my attention that some people in the fandom are demanding good money for translating an interview  i’ve already translated 5 years ago. if i knew that you can get mula for this worthless, hard effort, things would have been much different, but alas, i was 18 and did everything out of good intentions.

back to the subject. i’ve gotten a few messages from people asking me to translate this and that, and i never replied to them (sorry) but this changes everything.

if you, perchance, want something translated - be it interviews, reviews, written or taken on camera - feel free to contact me here via message or chat or on nobumess@gmail.com.

i will need you to provide with either the text or audio/video interview. if it’s in text format, i need the text to be intelligible.

in case of text, if you don’t have it, i can procure the magazine it was published in if it’s available on amazon.co.jp for the full price + shipping (if necessary, albeit usually it isn’t).

i don’t know if anyone would be interested so i will keep my price-list private untill i can make out a pattern, but i will not charge as much as the other people, so i won’t be going over 100,000 yen for sure.

i am open to translation work even if it does not concern buck-tick! any other bands, manga/anime character books etc is also fine

i am also available for freelance translation work for any texts as long as they’re not too term-specific and of a specific area of expertise.

the languages i can work with are japanese, english, russian and romanian.

please refrain from posting my already existing translations anywhere else. link to them instead.

please feel free to contact me for any additional questions!

reblogs would be very appreciated

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BUCK-TICK / Tour No 0 / Ophelia

You know … I think I’m in love with him … Atsushi … I think I always was, but didn’t want to admit it cos he was the fandom’s heart-throb (naturally) … I adore Hidebear of course (he resembles my type, like Jared Padalecki/Sammy), but Acchan was our special muse for our mysterious original characters like Puck (based on Yoshimitsu in 2015, before being replaced with another East Asian muse as Puck’s face-claim by 2016), and later Tsubasa aka Dr. Crow (based on Karasu, and also my muse for him in my imaginary world and dreams as well – 2017 onwards) … all associated with mystery, birds, masks, dreams, the dark, death, kinks, and so on … in other words, Atsushi has been the muse for my ‘main’ crushes at the time of writing in recent years … ♡ 

side note: this concert is new for me, and it’s a strange occurrence to see the painting of ‘Ophelia’ by John Everett Millais, as I just saw it on the Wiki page for “The Last House On The Left” (based on “The Virgin Spring”, a Swedish film, in turn based on the legend of Per Töre, and his daughters) … it also reminds me of “Opheliac” (in title) by Emilie Autumn, which I relate to, also being a ‘mad girl’, of course. :3

second side note: after reading about the painting, I’m surprised I didn’t see the connection and inspiration for my recent favourite music video, about a romance gone wrong: “The music video for "Where the Wild Roses Grow”, commissioned by Emma Davies for Mute Records, shot by director Rocky Schenck and produced by Nick Verden for Atlas Films, shows Kylie Minogue in character, apparently having been murdered by Nick Cave’s character. We see her in ghost-like form and also in a river in a pose reminiscent of Millais’ painting Ophelia (1851–52). The video ends with Cave’s character putting a rose in Minogue’s mouth and closing her eyelids.“ … lately, I’ve been a bit intrigued by murder-victim romances, thanks to loving Karasu, of course, heh.

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Buck-Tick’s Atsushi Sakurai. #1bee444

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Buck Tick boy septem peccata mortalia

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BUCK-TICK 「MOONLIGHT ESCAPE」15sec.SPOT

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BUCK-TICK, 2021.

Atsushi Sakurai, Show After Dark, Yuuwaku (17.07.2021)

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That beautiful, rare smile.