rcdsox

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SOUTHIE YEAH BOY

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maybe johnny here will be around for march bc...............

leprechaun season is upon us 

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@irish-emerald

“Depends, want the beef or chicken taco?”

“Who eats only two tacos? I’m more curious to who ya got em from so I can get more, yanno, like eat a meal.”

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Send 👀 to walk in on my muse in their underwear

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‘ yes, she is a bitch. b i c t … h. ’

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too cute

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‘ i got two free tacos! ’

‘You gonna share the wealth or nah?’

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fifty vine starter sentences for when it’s 3am

‘ NOT ON MY WATCH. ’ ‘ you thought it was over? … ha. ’ ‘ pepsi bottle? coca cola glass? i don’t give a damn. ’ ‘ aa … aaa …. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. ’ ‘ so you just gon’ bring me a birthday gift on my birthday to my birthday party on my birthday with a birthday gift? ’ ‘ why are you running? why are you running? ’ ‘ just because my parents won’t let me get makeup, or piercings, doesn’t make me a fucking preppy. fuck preppies. ’ ‘ god first. skating second. hit me up on christian mingle. ’ ‘ welcome back to me screaming … AAAAAAAAAAA- ’ ‘ oh my gosh, is that corbin bleu from jump in? ’ ‘ it’s me, jessie, and ari, if he … if they test me they sorry. ’ ‘ okay guys … i’m about to say a curse word, you ready? … shut up! ’ ‘ on all levels except physical, i am a wolf. ’ ‘ i thought you were bae! … turns out you’re just fam… ’ ‘ i mean … you’re so tall, you must have a problem. ’ ‘ i sneezed, oh, i’m not allowed to sneeze? ’ ‘ sorry i’m on the toilet, hope the ice cream don’t melt! ’ ‘ oh my fuckin’ god, she fuckin’ dead. ’ ‘ I’M A BAD BITCH YOU CAN’T KILL ME! ’ ‘ we all die, you either kill yourself or get killed. ’ ‘ hey, my name is ____, i got a basketball game tomorrowwww, i’m a point guard. ’ ‘ i’m washing me and my clothes, bitch! i’m washing me and my clothes.. ’ ‘ MY DICK FELL OFF! ’ ‘ THIS IS WHY MOM DOESN’T FUCKING LOVE YOU. ’ ‘ so no head? ’ ‘ yogurt is just fruit sperm! and i’m not gay. ’ ‘ hi, welcome to chili’s. ’ ‘ that’s what good pussy sounds like. ’ ‘ stop saying i look like chicken little. he’s dumb, and he’s a coward. and i am NOT  a coward! ’ ‘ if your name is ____ and you’re really handsome, come on raise your hand! ’ ‘ bitch! why you mad? ‘cause my pussy pops severely, and yours don’t?! ’ ‘ merry crisis. ’ ‘ i love you bitch. i ain’t gonna ever stop loving you …. bitch. ’ ‘ what up? i’m ____, i’m nineteen, and i never fuckin’ learned how to read. ’ ‘ this bitch empty! YEET! ’ ‘ and they were roommates ! ’ ‘ is that a weed?! i’m calling the police! ’ ‘ today my brother pushed me so i am starting a kickstarter to put him down. the benefits of killing him would be: i would get pushed way less. ’ ‘ it is wednesday my dudes …. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- ’ ‘ i won’t hesitate, bitch! ’ ‘ welcome to bible study, we’re all children of JESUS! ’ ‘ i spilled lipstick in your valentino bag. ’ ‘ you are my dad, you’re my dad! boogie woogie woogie. ’ ‘ i got two free tacos! ’ ‘ road work ahead? uh, yeah, i sure hope it does! ’ ‘ turn off the flash, you fucking moron. ’ ‘ get that education bro! GET THAT EDUCATION BRO! ’ ‘ yes, she is a bitch. b i c t … h. ’ ‘ ohhh shit, what is that? who you fightin’? ’ ‘ don’t fuck with me! i have the power of god and anime on my side! ’

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1902 Map of Lifesaving Stations and principal recent shipwrecks, Cape Cod, Massachusetts.

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The Fix Season 1 Starters

It’s weird having five thousand friends and only one that will help you move.

I love social media. It ruins lives, but not mine.

I’m shallow and I’m friendly.

I’m moist right now.

You just manually rub blood on it.

People have sex dolls, but they don’t bring them out in public.

Wear a raincoat.

I’m very street, [name]. You don’t know me.

I’m breaking up with someone after this, and I have to figure out a time to meet.

I’ll go to porn hub or whatever and I’ll type in ‘girl running through warehouse scared’.

The fact that that didn’t get a bigger reaction is the problem.

All I’d like to say is fuck that dude.

I’m just tired of being overlooked.

You literally just took a fucking taco shell and put spaghetti in it.

Full disclosure: I came in here with diarrhea. 

Why in the fuck are you driving to Sacramento?

It’s like Jeopardy! but with real jeopardy.

The one thing missing from my GPS was a strong opinion on Brexit.

If machines do become self-aware, I’ve got some serious explaining to do to my electric toothbrush.

I wanna grow up to work in a cat cafe.

I don’t trust AI because I don’t trust organic intelligence and we’re the ones that make ‘em and we’re stupid.

I talk to Siri. She understands. She’s the only one who understands.

Have we checked to see if [name] is a robot?

I’m gonna show you four pictures. You need to tell me which pictures contain a stop sign.

It sounded scary and then she started talking about pizza and then I started daydreaming about pizza so I stopped paying attention. I just want pizza.

What sounds more fun to you? A robot uprising or a robot orgy?

I love when Whole Food comes in because then I can steal from the hot bar.

I love paying $15 for some simple eggs at brunch. I love it. I’m here for it.

I don’t want soul food with like…mayonnaise in it.

I can only hear about kale so many times. I get it. Kale. Kale.

Who leaves their house for a bowl of cereal?

You’re friends with my kid, not with me. Don’t look at me. Don’t talk to me. Get out.

I’ve got pitbulls, but it’s not what you think. I use them for fighting.

I brought them inside and dyed their tails and now they’re fancy.

You look like a hipster, crime-fighting duo.

If you see a mustachioed man riding a unicycle in your neighborhood, contact the relevant authorities.

Basically, old people are a terrible burden.

I’m disgusted and disturbed by the presence of the elderly.

I wanna know what kind of old lady Britney Spears turns into.

I’m two years away from playing Corpse #5 on CSI.

I want my pool, bitch.

I guess I’m wearing my adult diapers wrong.

That is so mean and so funny. I hate how funny that is.

We have to close the state of Florida.

The good news is: that guy’s dead.

There’s a lot of strategy in avoiding playing chess.

I don’t want kids. I don’t like ‘em. They’re sticky and they’re nasty and now they’re trying to take my money.

So I made the right decision, not becoming a porn actor?

I was selling my socks to anybody who asked.

Maybe you’ll want to spend a little bit of that extra money buying me a drink.

If you’re going to convince me global warming exists, you gotta first convince me science exists.

I’m not friends with dummies.

Unpopular opinion, but someone has to say it: polar bears needed to lose weight.

Nobody’s taking that from me. Not you. Not science. Not India. Nobody.

The Mile High Club makes it sound glamorous, but what they’re really saying is we had sex in a chemical toilet.

I don’t wanna be cremated. Just shoot me into space.

But if we do nothing, Florida goes away? Alright.

If I wanted to be miserable and complain all the time, I’d still be married.

Nobody wants your DVD player.

I have no experience with guns except the tickets to the gun show you keep selling me. I’m starting to believe there is no gun show.

Women don’t do mass murder, they just kill one dude. Slowly. Over time.

I enjoy a man who anticipates a crime by showing up dressed for the trial.

Auto-erotic asphyxiation sounds like a good way to go.

I wish to die as I lived, and that is making it awkward for my family to explain what I do.

You know what, someone’s got to die.

I accidentally wanted to get high.

I had my wisdom teeth out, and by wisdom teeth out, I mean boob job.

I would call my dad and ask if I knew where he was.

I love the idea of a bunch of super high Mormons going door to door.

The worst day of my life was when my gynecologist told me he was also a DJ.

I’ve found if you put “late stage” in front of a word it makes it sound worse.

Since I’ve started earning money, I’ve become a lot less attractive to men. And that’s fun.

I wanna buy a dog that looks like an eyeball and a giant sneeze house.

If money was no object, I’d love to eat a panda.

I date exclusively broke men because the rich ones can afford too good a lawyer.

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once again bc i forget 

i gotta brush up on some bawhston history and such but feel free to like this for a starter later

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i swear im not ignoring yall im just ??? at life atm

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i’ll be here this weekend prob

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i gotta brush up on some bawhston history and such but feel free to like this for a starter later