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readeretal · 5 years ago

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𝐒𝐀𝐔𝐃𝐀𝐃𝐄 .

PAIRINGS : tooru oikawa x fem! reader , platonic hajime iwaizumi x fem! reader

GENRE : angst , romance

TRIGGERS : cursing , car accident , recovery from amnesia

SYNOPSIS : tooru doesn’t understand how special you are to him until he comes close to losing you forever . as he struggles to comes to grips with his feelings and balance it with his future , you still have to recover from your own injuries , but without your memories to assist you .

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐒𝐈𝐗 < [ 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍 ] > 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 .

whatever’s happening between you and hajime , tooru is not having any of it .

word count : 1.7k

saudade masterlist .

SAUDADE

( 𝐧 . ) a nostalgic longing to be near again to something or someone that is distant , or that has been loved and then lost ; “ the love that remains ”

⠀the moment you walked into the classroom, tooru felt his chest compress with the sight of you and hajime attached to each other by the hip. everything about what he saw was wrong, in every single aspect of the word. it sickened him down to the stomach. digust could never fully cover the monstrosity he witnessed.

⠀what the living hell was his girlfriend doing with his best friend, of all people?

⠀dare he even call iwaizumi his best friend at this point? friends, even?

⠀he wanted to go up to you and greet you, to ask about your being and if there was anything you needed. that's what a good boyfriend would do, right? then again, a good boyfriend wouldn't treat you like shit. nor would a good boyfriend blame you for things you had nothing to do with.

⠀and a good boyfriend certainly wouldn't tell you to fuck off, leading up to a car crash that would most likely ruin him for the rest of the year.

⠀"oikawa, are you not going to say anything to y/n?"

⠀shook from his thoughts at the mention of your name, tooru winced as he eyed the individuals around his desk. they all had the same face; angry, disgusted scowls meant for only him. he deserved it, he really did; he had purposely turned his head to the window the moment you walked in. he wanted to keep his gaze outside too, if not for these people around him.

⠀shrugging slightly as he looked up at his unwanted company, he spotted you standing idly at your designated desk. turning his vision slightly to the right, there was iwaizumi, paging you over and over again, but you weren't listening.

⠀no, your eyes were completely on his.

⠀his heart skipped a beat as your eyes focused on him and him alone, a million thoughts ran through his head like a marathon as he tried to understand why you were looking at him, and why you were looking at him so... curiously. did you know? did you remember everything? how much did hajime really tell you? it didn't take an idiot to know he had been spending the most time with you, so there was no guessing of what he's informed you of. as far as tooru knew, he'd already told you of how shitty of a boyfriend he was, and that he'd never be worth your time again.

⠀but if that were the case, you wouldn't have looked over at him so fondly. just one second of shared eye contact was enough to brand the image of you in oikawa's head for the rest of the day, leaving him to ponder on what he should do about you, and how to make his own life less miserable than what he had already bestowed upon himself. part of him wanted to give up, to accept that he was a complete asshole unworthy of redemption.

⠀and he would've accepted it too,

⠀if hajime iwaizumi wasn't in the picture.

⠀something about the way he looked so perfect, so delighted, so content with being right next to you, at your beck and call - it was disgusting. truely, utterly humilating. the way hajime was so quick to answer to your every need; tooru noticed it all day, the way iwaizumi came to your rescue every time you needed anything. directions, assistance with assignments, even remembering names. whatever your problem was, iwa had the solution. and it sickened tooru down to the pits of his stomach.

⠀it's as if he wanted to replace oikawa as your boyfriend.

⠀he ignored it in the past, whenever he heard rumors about the ace's crush on you. makki and mattsun would constantly tease iwaizumi about it, but would stop whenever the captain enter the room. there were only a couple of times where the brunet had fully listened in to a couple of conversations, but he never thought anything of it in the past. why should oikawa care if iwa had a crush on his girlfriend? tooru knew you were completely smitten over him, so there was nothing he had to be self-conscious about.

⠀looking at the two of you now, ignoring iwa's growing feelings for you added to his list of never-ending regrets.

⠀seeing how his best friend was able to sweep you away from him so easily, it scared tooru, to say the least. had he been planning this for a while? was he always eyeing for the day you and him would finally call it quits? tooru remembered vividly how quickly iwaizumi was to act upon you running out of the gym that dreadful day, and how he himself was frozen in nothing more than confusion. his first assumption was that you were running home, since you didn't live too far from seijoh.

⠀of course, that assumption ran clear down the drain the moment iwa returned with you bleeding out in his arms. tooru didn't know where you were bleeding from - most likely the head, assuming it was a car accident. you were fluttering in and out of consciousness, which scared oikawa back into reality.

⠀you were dying in iwaizumi's arms.

⠀he... he's your boyfriend, so he has every right to see if you're okay, right?

⠀so why the fuck won't iwaizumi let him near you?

⠀who gave him the right to tell him to stay away from you? no, he should be the one staying away from you, you were oikawa's girlfriend. his significant other. not iwaizumi's.

⠀yet, he was the one treating you the way a real boyfriend should.

⠀tooru was left alone at school again after another long day, his thoughts in a scramble as he walked around the halls to think. he considered walking into the gym, but he hadn't touched a single volleyball in weeks. did he even deserve to pick up a volleyball again? it was the sport that drove him into an angry frenzy, unleashing a chain reaction leading to your accident. it was by chance you got by with just a concussion and amnesia; it could've been much, much worse - worst being you dying. and it would've been your own boyfriend's fault.

⠀tooru turned the corner to bump into none other than hajime himself, who seemed to be in a hurry before laying eyes on his former captain. the two males stood in front of each other in silence, the tension grew heavy in the air. oikawa didn't want to be in his presence, nor did iwaizumi want to be in his presence. their lips were sealed, there wasn't anything that needed to be said between them.

⠀"hajime? where are you?"

⠀tooru's posture stiffened at your voice, his eyes immediately wandering to spot your whereabouts. why were you still here? why were both of you still here?

⠀"y/n..." his decision made, tooru was going to find you. even with iwaizumi here, that shouldn't stop him. as aggressive as iwa was sometimes, oikawa wasn't really scared of him. if he was going to talk to you, then he damn well was going to talk to you. and the things you deserved to hear from him were endless. "i'm going to talk to y/n, iwa-chan." he spat out the nickname, one usually addressed out of endearment, like venom. it threw the other off guard, but not long enough for tooru to walk past him.

⠀"no, you're not going to."

⠀"excuse me? get out of my way, let me go see-"

⠀oikawa grunted as he felt iwa grab him by the blazer, slamming him against a locker with animalistic ferocity. he had never seen hajime so pissed off as he was now, his teeth visibly clenched together as he glared at his fellow third year. "no, you're not," he hissed, his fists clenching around the fabric even tighter to make sure tooru couldn't escape. "you're not fucking stepping near y/n today, tomorrow, or ever. you don't deserve to see her again, so do her a favor and stay out of her life. got it, shittykawa?"

⠀seeing how oikawa was helpless in his hold, iwaizumi waited for him to reply before letting him go. seeing how tooru decided it was better off remaining silent, all he really could do was let go anyway; you had just turned the same corner and came face to face with both boys.

⠀"hajime? what are you doing?"

⠀his name sounded horrible in your mouth. tooru felt sick as iwaizumi backed up and shrugged, faking a chuckle before focusing his attention on you again. "ah, y/n. nothing to worry about, just a small disagreement is all. have you finished collecting your homework yet? i'll take you home if you are, just meet me outside."

⠀"yeah, i'll go now." you nodded, but not before looking at oikawa once more. tooru wasn't even sure how to react, only sufficing with a half-hearted smile and a wave.

⠀"you're... oikawa, right?"

⠀his heart cracked in two when his surname escaped your lips. having been used to being addressed as tooru for so long, he should've never taken advantage of it. even so, all he could do in this present moment was bite his tongue to hold back from crying in front of the two of them. "yeah... yeah, that's me. glad to know you're alright... y/n."

⠀"thank you." unsure of how else to continue the conversation, you turned around and left, not wanting to pry into their conversation.

⠀iwaizumi waited until you turned the corner to face the other male once more, his facade for you completely gone. there he was back with his angry snarl, pointing a finger at him menacingly. "i'm warning you," he seethed, "stay away from y/n. you'll just make her life a living hell again, and i won't let you ruin her life twice."

⠀tooru hadn't even gotten a chance to reply before hajime turned the corner they originally bumped into, following your footsteps to walk you home, as promised. tooru couldn't process what had just happened, his brain not able to understand that iwazumi was going to take you home. that he was going to help you with homework.

⠀that he was going to be by your side everyday.

⠀no, fuck that. he couldn't let that happen.

⠀one way or another, tooru will prove to you that he can be the boyfriend you deserve, even with iwa as a thorn in his side.

⠀"fuck you, iwaizumi. i am worthy of redemption. i'll prove you wrong, just you wait."

a / n : and how exactly is tooru going to prove that he’s worthy of redemption? well... that’s for another chapter ;) n e ways ! some of y’all have heard of me beginning an iwaizumi smau , and that’s correct ! keeping it secret though , but expect the masterlist soon :>

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#idk if i wanna punch oikawa or nah 👉🏻👈🏻

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