realashergray

[realashergray]

trans asf to be a clone.

oh you were biologically constructed to be somebody that you can never become?

and when you look in the mirror you can only yearn to be seen as yourself rather than who everybody expects you to be? interesting.

[realashergray]

a writing competition i was going to participate in again this year has announced that they now allow AI generated content to be submitted

their reasoning being that "we couldn't ban it even if we wanted to, every writer already uses it anyway"

"Every writer"?

come on

[realashergray]

You are stuck in a time loop.

This Road by Poe / post by @janemorris / Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead (1990), dir. Tom Stoppard / Circles by Marion Ethel Hamilton / Happy Death Day (2017), dir. Christopher Landon / Alan Wake II / Fatigue Empire by Cynthia Cruz / Black Sails episode XXXII

[realashergray]

wait do people read first person stories and think they're the ones in the story???

Saw people talking about not liking first person, which is fair, but their reasoning was like "I would not do that" and I don't understand that mindset.

First person stories are still about a character. A character making their own decisions. First person isn't about you???? At least I thought it wasn't. What am I missing? I've always seen first person as just a more in-depth look into a character's mind and stricter POV. Not as a reader stand-in.

[realashergray]

writing tip: searching "[place of origin]ish names" will get you a lot of stuff and nonsense made up by baby bloggers.

searching "[place] census [year]" will get you lists of real names of real people who lived in that place.

[realashergray]

the first law of tragedies: the end is already written and inevitable. the second law of tragedies: your actions are all your own and you can choose to get off this ride whenever you want. the third law of tragedies: we both know that you are never going to do that.

[realashergray]

when you think to yourself "i should make this relationship more fucked up and difficult to define" that's the aromantic demon talking. and you should listen to it.

[realashergray]

Ugh, was having a great time mocking my recently imprisoned rival when I noticed the camera positioning makes it so that I appear behind the bars, thus framing me as trapped in a metaphorical prison of the narrative, now my whole day is ruined. Fuck.

[realashergray]

been toying with the concept of vampirism as like, needing something that you inherently can't provide for yourself. vampirism as dependency- especially in cases of vampires who refuse to (or straightup *cannot* for whatever reason) feed on anyone without consent, who must rely on blood freely given by living humans.

an independent young adult, so eager to move out on her own and see the world by herself, is turned into a vampire. her human parents are willing to feed her, but now she'll be dependent on them. she can't move away, can't stray too far from the family farm by herself, because she can't be too far from her source of blood for too long. she's afraid of what will happen when her parents are too old to give blood to her, if she'll be able to find someone else to depend on. she'll outlive them all eventually, if she's not left to starve.

a sociable vampire with a wide network of human friends who are willing to offer up their blood to her. they're happy to help her, but she still feels like a monster for having to take their blood all the time. she tries to take as little as possible while they beg her please take more, we hate seeing you so hungry all the time, please let us help. 

a vampire trapped in an abusive marriage because he relies on his wife for blood. if he leaves her without an alternate support system to feed him, he'd starve. she isolated him from all his other loved ones who might've been willing to feed him years ago. she holds the fact that she gives him her blood over his head anytime he tries to defend himself.

[realashergray]

Theory:

Werewolf as fear is Losing Self-Control, Werewolf as fantasy is Letting Go Of Self-Control.

Vampire as fear is Being Controlled by outside forces, Vampire as fantasy is Having Control over outside forces

Am I getting close to something here

[realashergray]

The problem w writing fiction is that you'll be like tee-hee I'm going to write a story about a fucked up little scenario that's got nothing to do with anything in real life, just some pure messed up nonsense, and then you finish it and take a step back and go aw rats I made a metaphor again

[realashergray]

What's that poem about the cockroach and the moth where the cockroach is like "I wish I've ever wanted anything the way that moth wanted to burn itself up in that lantern" because we had to read that in high school and it still fucks me up to this day

[realashergray]

90% of my writing experience is doing this

[realashergray]

teeshirt where the front says GOD LOVES ME in big letters and then i turn around and the back says BUT NOT ENOUGH TO SAVE ME!

[realashergray]

Nor should one imprison the demons, who are everywhere, by shutting the doors and windows of a house tightly. Their paths of ingress and egress are prescribed, along with their functions, and to impede their freedom of movement is to invite their displeasure. Far wiser is it to pierce a small hole in door or window and thus enable them to move about freely.

— Jewish Magic and Superstition: A Study in Folk Religion by Rabbi Joshua Trachtenberg

[realashergray]

[realashergray]

the problem with learning shorthand is that it basically makes any set of long squiggles look like words so you will be trying to read the floaters in your eyes while you’re in the shower. on the bright side i may have invented a new form of divination.