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Major Balarevy (Ship post headcanons)

They sleep in order of height: Balalaika and Le Majeur at opposite ends with Revy in the middle.

Sleepy morning headcanons:

Balalaika wakes up first followed by Le Majeur and Revy. Revy tries to get Balalaika to stay in bed. It rarely works. But she is able to hold on to LeMajeur for a bit.

Balalaika brews tea for her and Le Majeur while Le Majeur brews coffee for Revy.

Balalaika and Le Majeur normally help each other get ready in the morning.

Revy the entire time sleepily grunts and hugs them from behind to show her appreciation.

Revy is surprisingly the cook due to Dutch's regular routine of having the crew switch off.

Night headcanons:

Le Majeur is the clingiest and first to fall sleep. Balalaika is the last due to her overworking.

Most of the time Le Majeur falls asleep in her lap and Revy helps somewhat with the menial tasks of Balalaika's work.

Revy makes sure to load up all their magazines, quietly inserting bullets like clockwork.

Le Majeur and Balalaika's accents tend to get more prominent when they're tired.

Sometimes Balalaika reads to them in Russian.

General Headcanons:

Revy is able to show off for Le Majeur until Balalaika one ups her.

Balalaika insists on regular training. Le Majeur is eager while Revy is cocky.

Revy and Balalaika share their taste of music with Le Majeur

When Le Majeur is flustered or embarrassed she bursts into French.

Le Majeur slowly learns Russian. Balalaika picks up French quickly and it annoys Revy whenever they speak to each other in either language.

Revy teases Le Majeur about her height until Balalaika literally steps in and teases about how tiny both of them are.

When Revy and Balalaika get in arguments Le Majeur is the peacekeeper.

Le Majeur and Balalaika connect about their scars and the fact that they both have difficulty seeing from one eye. Balalaika teaches Le Majeur how to adapt to it.

Le Majeur never takes her eye patch off until Revy and Balalaika confront her about it.

Often Revy gets hurt from protecting Le Majeur. Something that Balalaika admonishes her for, saying it's not helping her in the long run despite softly patching her injuries.

Revy and Le Majeur connect over their tattoos. Balalaika runs her finger along both of their ink.

Le Majeur is pretty open about her past while Revy skips around hers and Balalaika doesn't say it word. Slowly, the other two open up but it takes time.

Le Majeur is the driver among them with Balalaika as passenger and Revy stuck in the backseat.

Revy shot Le Majeur when she was in her Whitman state. She's still guilty about it, as is Balalaika about ordering her men to shoot Revy.

The next time Balalaika goes to Japan she brings Le Majeur as the translator instead of Rock. Revy is still brought to "keep the peace."

Balalaika lets Le Majeur borrow classic books. Revy secretly reads over her shoulder but pretends she's not.

Revy was the one to first "romance" Le Majeur with the quiet permission of Balalaika. Balalaika soon found herself fond of the French woman after closely working together.

They'd all kill for each other.

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Balalaika

(Black Lagoon Chapter 2, Viz Manga)

Imagine that. You rarely come to me for help. Actually, I was already planning to ask you to do a job for me related to the Manisalera Cartel. Rather remarkable timing, isn’t it?

Sorry. But I can’t help you there. In our line of work if shit hits the fan it’s nothing short of a ravaging typhoon. You know that. Fine, fine. I’ll get you your dossier by this afternoon or evening. Want it at your office?

I don’t like her eyes, Boris. They spell trouble.

Comrade Sergeant. Take a look. Notice anything? Correct, Sergeant. But it’s worse than that. Much worse. She’s a genuine mad dog.

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Dutch

(Black Lagoon Chapter 2, Viz Manga)

Revy, we’re in the middle of the ocean. He isn’t going anywhere. No need for that. Rock, do me a favor. The kid’s gonna be sold off, so we can’t have anything broken in transit. Watch over him, alright?

Now, that’s odd. There’s some strange shit goin’ on here.

Rock, the story you got out of that kid, is it really true? But I don’t get it. Snatch the kid and they could get what they want through extortion. What’s the point of all the lies and selling him off?

Sounds like we might want a backup plan. I’ll ask Balalaika if she can get me more info on the job. Well, I need more details on the Manisalera Cartel and on the Lovelace family. Can you do it? Sorry about this. I owe you one. But keep it on the down-low, all right?

Look, just try to keep things cool. Please.  Actually, can you bring it to me at the Yellow Flag?

Christ, Revy. I’ve seen kids act more mature. Hell, you were a kid once too, weren’t you? What?!

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Revy

(Black Lagoon Chapter 2, Viz Manga)

Oh yeah? We’re gonna have a good time now. Let’s find out what you had for breakfast. Huh? Hm? Shut it! Let go of me. The little prick’s giving me the eye. You’re dead meat, you rat.

Fuck, that kid is driving me nuts. I try to be nice, then he gets all full of himself. Fucking rugrat. Jesus, how was that kid raised? The cabin’s too good for that little snot. We oughta chain him up and throw him in the hold. Ain’t that right, Dutch? Shit, now you’re being all gentleman-like?

Dutch. It might be a good idea to head back to port. Hey, Rock. You sure it’s not your bleeding heart doing the talking’? Real sad story. That kid end up as some pervert’s sex-toy. Or get his organs harvested. No way out of it. But hey, just as long as we’re well paid it’s not our problem. Not our problem, chief. The Earth won’t stop spinning when justice dies.

Either way, it’s Dutch’s call. I just do what you say, Dutch. I don’t know about the lies, but selling off the kid, I got a hunch about that.

It’s ‘cuz they got pissed off. Really pissed. You know how it is with them. There’s nothing that gets mobsters frothing like having shit slapped in their faces. Right?

Gimme a cola, Boa. Fuck, no. It’s not for me, you jackass.

What? What are you lookin’ at? Does my face amuse you or somethin’? Well? Then don’t stare when you should be drinking, shithead.

There! You happy now? You whine again and you’re dead meat. I don’t remember being paid to babysit, Dutch. Fuck this shit.

But pay me enough and I’ll change his diapers anytime.  What? You too? You gonna go work at this brat’s mansion, Rock? Might suit you better than workin’ ships. Yeah, I can see it now, Rock, the pale-faced butler. You’ll strut around the mansion going “master, would you care for a mint julep” or some shit. Like the song “Old Black Joe,” wouldn’t cha know! Must be nice, livin’ large, surrounded by dozens of servants, ‘N lackeys.

I give you shit and that’s what you have to say. What’s she gonna do? Toss tea sets at me? Shit if she kicks ass that much I’d believe you if you told me Jesus himself was on a chopper roaring down route 66.

What?!

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Rock

(Black Lagoon Chapter 2, Viz Manga)

Hey, hey, hey! Back off, Revy. Jesus, Revy, he’s just a kid. C’mon, let’s go on deck, okay? C’mon Revy, c’mon.

Um, how do I say this. While it may only be for a short while, we’re going to be shipmates. I think some mutual respect would be beneficial. At the very least, could you stop throwing food around?

Yeah, well you might be right. I can’t say much since I’m a part of this. I suppose so. I’m a scoundrel in training, you might say. They’re parts of the this job I don’t like either. But there’s really nothing I can say that will change things. Are you scared?

Your father? I thought you were an orphan. Look, you might be trying to get pity out of me but if you’re going to lie, you’ll have to do better than that. Jeez, you’re a hardass for a kid. Where did you get the name Lovelace anyway? They’re the family that’s the worst out of the 13. Sure it makes your story more credible, but-

Rare-earth? Where did you learn words like that? Not easily, no. In my line of work it’s easy to get duped. What do you know about rare-earth elements? All right, next question. The Lovelace family has a dog.

Do you know anything about that dog?

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel sorry for the kid. On the other hand, having a client lie does bother me. I was in the material procurement department in my last job. I know a lot about rare-earth elements and metals. What the boy said about the Lovelace family does hold water. The South American office had dossiers on all those families.

Enough already. Oh really? I appreciate that. No really. Revy, give it a rest!

Uh. Have you actually seen her fight someone, Garcia?

What?!

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Thank you 🙏

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Jesus Christ this is unbelievably beautiful and haunting. Bravo 👏 you have given the Queen title to this Russian warlord.

i love Balalaika so much

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Definitely 💯

I don't want to say she's made for it but she's the perfect 3rd wheel.

Almost being killed by Revy and Balalaika ✓

Revy saying that she'll put Le Majeure down herself ✓

Balalaika pretty much having her as a indefinite member of Hotel Moscow ✓

Tinier than Revy ✓

Japanese (think Rock for Revy) ✓

French nationality (European, at least closer in common to Balalaika)

Suit ✓

The only cheery one between the 3 ✓

(Sis in order)

Le Majeur - Revy - Balalaika

i've said it before and i'll say it again: le majeur is the third wheel in Balalaika's and Revy's situationship.

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Sunday Gx Issue 8 (2025) cover

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Quotes Masterlist

These are in order for each character and the manga chapter, 0.1, 1, etc.

This is purely a project for fanfic writers in the fandom to help with dialogue.

Revy:

https://www.tumblr.com/reality-liver-n0/779426347720359936/black-lagoon-chapter-01-viz-manga-each?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/reality-liver-n0/783933575372390400/revy?source=share

Balalaika:

https://www.tumblr.com/reality-liver-n0/779427537419894784/black-lagoon-chapter-01-viz-manga-each?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/reality-liver-n0/783933835534647297/balalaika?source=share

Rock:

https://www.tumblr.com/reality-liver-n0/779426740861796352/black-lagoon-chapter-01-viz-manga-each?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/reality-liver-n0/783933496474370048/rock?source=share

Dutch:

https://www.tumblr.com/reality-liver-n0/779426975302483968/black-lagoon-chapter-01-viz-manga-each?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/reality-liver-n0/783933722995130368/dutch?source=share

Benny:

https://www.tumblr.com/reality-liver-n0/779427293052420096/black-lagoon-chapter-01-viz-manga-each?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/reality-liver-n0/783933625242697728/benny?source=share

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Balalaika

(Black Lagoon chapter 1, Viz Manga) Words in parentheses are spoken in Russian

Well, well, well. Hard at work, Mr. Chen? Perhaps I could be of some assistance?

Listen to me, you miserable turd. There’s nothing you can tell me. I know what I need to know. Start praying. Because that’s all you have time for before you die.

Oh, Mr. Yaponski? Doing well, I trust? Listen, is Dutch there? Hello, Dutch. Off on a wild goose chase I hear. Something about Chen playing games with you?

From the man himself. He was quite talkative for running a conspiracy. When you talk up a plan to every outfit in town even the dead will catch wind of it. I’ll make sure this won’t happen again. This must have caused you quite a headache. You’re too sweet, Dutch. Now this won’t make up for your trouble but I have something I think you’ll like. As we say in Russia a little (music) for your ears. (Yes).

I’ll have more work for you soon. I’ll call you again.

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Dutch

(Black Lagoon chapter 1, Viz Manga)

What’s the word? Right, Benny. Revy! No more Mr. Nice guy.

All right, Benny boy. Contact the Chan Wai Beng people. Tell ‘em ‘Saint Jones secured. Take her wherever you want before the law shows up.’ Let’s get back to port by noon. The Kowhan’s rice bowls sell out quickly

Revy, I'll be out for a while. You’re in charge.

Hello there. Yeah, it’s me. How’s it going? Yeah, if you could. 120 thousand U.S. Yep, to be wired. List the sender as Flyer’s Company. Right. Yeah, talk to you later. Not too bad, Mr. Chen.

I don’t get what you’re saying.  What are you talking about? I’m in a good mood so I’ll tell something Mr. Chen. Even bad guys gotta have some principles, you dig? When you sold junk to the NPA we were the ones doing the hauling. We had some problems back then, but who skipped when things got hot?

Oh, I see. At least Balalaika is better at keeping her word than you are. I’m willing to ship your goods if you agree to my terms. That’s all there is to it, Mr. Chen.

There won’t be a next time if you pull that shit again. Better use your head if you wanna stay afloat, Mr. Chen. Job just came in. It’s a gig from Donny Yen. Just a pickup on some embezzled goods at Phu Quoc Island, courtesy of the Vietnamese army. We had no plans for today anyway, hard work is its own reward.

What? Shouldn’t be any commercial shipping or military types around here. Can you tell their make? Yeah, it stinks.

There’s no ships for you to prey on around here. Better head back before you get lost, Luac. Chen must’ve sweet-talked you into this, didn’t he? Lord have mercy on your unbridled stupidity, Luac.

When attacking an enemy in a crossfire rule number one is to make sure your units aren’t in each other’s line of fire. Amateurs.

He’s going all out. Revy! You’re up, Two Hand. It’s showtime, can you make ‘em dance?

You got it.

End of the line.

Who is it? Who’d you hear that from?

Not really. Not even enough for me to open my bottle of Tylenol. Cooler than James Brown?

Ah-ha. Very cool.

Yeah. She says business is booming. Revy. Rock. You got any plans for today? How about you, Benny? Well, then. In lights of the problems we encountered and the psychological stress it caused it’s my duty as your employer to provide you with some recreation. Which brings me to my point.

I suggest that we head over to the Yellow Flag and drink our troubles away. I’m buying, of course. Who’s coming?

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Benny

(Black Lagoon chapter 1, Viz Manga)

Dutch, I just heard from them. ‘We will proceed past you by force.’

Gotcha.

Where to?

Dutch? We got contacts inbound. They’re small but fast. My guess is that they’re river boats.

Two boats coming at us from 2 o’clock and 4 o’ clock. Luac must’ve scrounged up his whole gang for this raid.

C’mon forget it. Think of it as getting bitten by a stray dog.

I need to do some maintenance, but it’s not like it can’t wait.

Sure, I’ll go.

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Revy

(Black Lagoon chapter 1, Viz Manga)

Got it.

Gimme that. Now listen up, you fat slobs. My RPG can fly faster than any morse code SOS you can send. Unless you want me to turn you into a blood-drenched ghost ship, heave to now!

Okay. Be careful out there. No clue. I don’t care what he does on his time off. Friends are hard to come by when you’re nosey Rock.

Rise and shine sailor! We got work to do. Jeez, just how long does it take you to get dressed? I can’t believe a slug like you gets paid the same as I do.

C’mon Dutch, running errands doesn’t get us anywhere, damn it. Just look at Rock here, still stuck in that white-collar monkey suit. That reminds me, Rock. I bought you that Hawaiian shirt at the market the other day. What’d you do with it? Excuse me? You sayin’ I got no taste or somethin’? Well?

Jesus, Rock. Either you ain’t tryin’, or you must have some real fuckin’ butter-fingers. Man, you aren’t cut out for this. Here, I’ll show you. So, Rock. What did you do at that job? Quite a story. Makes me wanna puke. Why’d you put up with it? You a masochist or somethin’?

What I did in the past is no different from what I do now. It’s the truth. I stole. I killed. I did all sorts of vile crap.  My story ain’t worth shit.

Hey, Dutch. I smell something. Know what I’m sayin’? Oh, I love that smell. I’d know it anywhere. The stench of blood and gun-smoke.

Hell yeah.

Well, Rock. Watch and learn. I’ll start with the shit at our 2 o’ clock. Get me close and keep the boat steady. Woo-hoo! Let’s dance.

Well Luac, seems you were the one doing the cha-cha with lead.

No sweat.

Ohh, man. What a waste of time. All that running around for nothing. Forget it? You dumbass, we wasted perfectly good ammo on that run.

None that I know of.

Hot damn! We drinkin’ till dawn, Dutch? All right. Get the car, Benny. And Rock we’re off the clock, you put on that Hawaiian shirt.

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Rock

(Black Lagoon Chapter 1, Viz Manga).

Ah, testing, testing, one, two. A good morning to you, crew of the Saint Jones. While I do realize that my request is sudden, uh, how do I say this, please halt your vessel. Now this is just my personal opinion.

But I believe complying quickly would be very much in your best interests.

Umm. Before-

So, Revy where’d Dutch go?

All right. All right already!

It’s not because I’m low on funds. I wear this because I like to. That tacky thing? Wearing that shirt’s not a compliment, it’s punishment.

I-I’m sorry. C’mon, give me a break. I never did anything like this at work. I was in the material procurement department. I’d go on business trips, prepare reports, make phone calls. But it seemed like my job mainly consisted of bowing to everyone. After work, I’d go out and drink with my supervisors. Once, one of them got so drunk, he started kicking me around.

Putting up with it is part of the job. I didn’t want to end up on the street. That’s how everyone deals with it. So Revy, what did you do before this? What? You ran around your neighborhood rivers waving a cutlass when you were a kid?

What are you going to do with that?

She took them all out by herself? Amazing.

Hey, the phone’s ringing. Hello, Lagoon Traders. Ah, just a moment. Ms. Balalaika.

So Dutch, was that about business?

Oh, uh. I’ll go too.

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Her and Revy would keep crashing into each other and getting kicked out.

Eda. Redraw.

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Biceps 💪 of Legendary Two-Hands