realmamablog-blog

[realmamablog-blog]

Introduction

Life as a stay-at-home mama who works a bit on the side, attends school, makes minor attempts at something resembling a social life, has difficulty and making time for marriage can be challenging and downright laughable at times. I have been making a serious attempt at keeping it real since the birth of my second-born, my beautiful daughter, Gracie is nearly 15 months old (tomorrow) and was, honestly, a very easy baby (similar to my first-born, Connor who is 3 years old). However, the major difference after the birth of Connor and Gracie was my intense anxiety that manifested shortly after Gracie’s birth. Whether it be a major hormonal issue (hello, progesterone shots every week throughout the pregnancy) or the fact that Gracie was born just before the insane 2017-2018 flu season began causing me to freak out every time someone coughed, I will never really know. I do know, however, that I have been struggling to return to “normal” since then, and it’s still very much a work in progress. As I see some semblance of I was before I had children and glimmers of hope and positivity from time to time, I still have some crazy moments of despair, insanity, and major self-doubt. I’ve honestly learned who I can count on and cannot count on (more on that later), and I am very grateful for friendships while other moms and so-called friends have been quick to exclude and make negative snide comments while I was enduring personal battles that the knew nothing about. This hurts, of course, but I am coming out stronger on the flip side. I am learning to laugh more, spend time with people I love, and create happiness out of every day situations. I am beyond grateful for little family and the fact that my children are healthy and happy, but this life comes with a side crazy. I mean, seriously, I attempted to enroll my child in preschool knowing he would be the youngest one there (August birthday) and that was truly exhausting and nearly hysterical. I am proud to be an in-between hippie and traditional mom who practices extended breastfeeding (My God, I have had some real issues when people realize I breastfeed past the age of 1!) but still believes in vaccinations. I try to make healthy choices for my kids and have given them honey instead of cough syrup, but I also give my 3 year old a tablet from time to time. I am coming to terms with who I am and learning to not apologize for choices that work for me and my marriage, my kids, my parenting, and myself. It’ s a hard journey as I probably care too much about what others think, but it’s my journey. I hope to be better at each tomorrow! Thanks for your support!