recoveringself-blog

[recoveringself-blog]

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How to get the most out of life

1. See each day as a fresh start and a new beginning.

2. Don’t be a copy of anybody else – enjoy discovering and being your true self.

3. Be proactive, take control and look for opportunities. You’ve only got one life so make sure you stay in control.

4. Don’t focus on the obstacles or things you cannot change. Just ask yourself “What next? or else “What can I do instead?”

5. Appreciate your limits and then set clear boundaries. You need to care for yourself to be the best “you” you can be.

6. Decide on your values and what matters most to you. Then live in a way that’s consistent with those values.

7. Don’t put life on hold as the months turn into years … and there’s always the chance that some important doors will close.

8. Set goals for yourself – then plan the steps to take you there.

9. Learn from other people that you value as role models – but ignore the naysayers and the hypercritical.

10. Let go of the past, and old hurts and grievances. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, or to see a counsellor.

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How to Simplify your Life

1. Don’t try to read other peoples’ minds and don’t expect others to be able to read yours. Communicate if it is important to you.

2. Don’t expect to be friends with everyone. We all are different – and we all like different things. Instead, invest your time in a few good friends. That’s all you really need to feel happy and fulfilled.

3. Create a budget and live within your means. Accruing lots of debt will only cause you to feel stressed.

4. Kill off the monster of jealousy – and only compare yourself with yourself.

5. Organize your clutter and get rid of excess stuff. It will leave you feeling calmer, and will save you lots of time!

6. Stay on the sidelines and don’t get drawn into pointless scenes and dramas in other peoples’ lives (unless it’s a crisis – and you know you ought to help).

7. Finish what you’ve started - and then do something else.

8. Treat every person you meet with respect, and err on the side of being gentle and kind.

9. Accept that there are things that you can’t change or control – and focus on those things that you can change or control.

10. Admit when you were wrong, then say you’re sorry, and move on.

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I Choose

- I choose to live by choice, not by chance.

- I choose to make changes, not excuses.

- I choose to be motivated, not manipulated.

- I choose to be useful, not used.

- I choose to excel, not to compete.

- I choose self-esteem, not self-pity.

- I choose to listen to my inner voice, not the random opinions of others.

Author unknown

[recoveringself-blog]

The world tells you many lies about who you are, and you simply have to be realistic enough to remind yourself of this. Every time you feel hurt, offended, or rejected, you have to dare to say to yourself: ‘These feelings, strong as they may be, are not telling me the truth about myself.

Henri Nouwen (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

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How to Live a Simpler, More Contented Life

1. Ask yourself “What’s important?” Take a step back and think about what’s important to you. What do you really want to be doing, who do you want to spend your time with, what do you want to accomplish with your work? Make a short list of 4-5 things for your life, 4-5 people you want to spend time with, 4-5 things you’d like to accomplish at work.

2. Examine your commitments. A big part of the problem is that our lives are way too full. We can’t possibly do everything we have committed to doing, and we certainly can’t enjoy it if we’re trying to do everything. Accept that you can’t do everything, know that you want to do what’s important to you, and try to eliminate the commitments that aren’t as important.

3. Do less each day. Don’t fill your day up with things to do. You will end up rushing to do them all. If you normally try to do 7-10 things, do 5 important ones instead. This will give you time to do what you need to do, and not rush.

4. Leave space between tasks or appointments. Another mistake is trying to schedule things back-to-back. This leaves no cushion in case things take longer than we planned (which they always do), and it also gives us a feeling of being rushed and stressed throughout the day.

5. Eliminate as much as possible from your to-do list. You can’t do everything on your to-do list. Even if you could, more things will come up. As much as you can, simplify your to-do list down to the essentials.

6. Now, slow down and enjoy every task. Try to slow down and enjoy whatever you’re doing. Try to pay attention, instead of thinking about other things. Be in the moment. Enjoy the present.

[recoveringself-blog]

If you have been brutally broken, but still have the courage to be gentle to others, then you deserve a love deeper than the ocean itself.

Nikita Gill (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

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There’s a difference between somebody who wants you and somebody who would do anything to keep you. Remember that.

Unknown (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

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How to Make Yourself Do What You Don’t Want To Do

1. Rather than listening to the voice in your head that is screaming “I hate this; I don’t want to do this” think about why it is a GOOD thing to do.

2. Instead of trying to pretend that you don’t feel this way, accept that you are feeling very blah and negative.

3. Don’t think about results and how well you think you’ll do, as this could raise your feelings of anxiety and fear, just think about “right now” and the first thing you can do.

4. Accept that life is tough, and is full of things that suck – but recognise that doing hard stuff is better in the end. You’ll likely have more choices and freedom, if you do.

5. Just do a little bit for now – then give yourself a proper break – then go back and do some more – and soon you’ll find you’re in the flow.

6. Don’t allow your mind to wander and think of other things. Stay focused for that short time – and then stop, and have fun.

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How to Cope with Hurt and Pain

1. Try to give it form and to put it into words. Don’t allow it to be shapeless as that’s harder to resolve.

2. Agree that you will look at it and not ignore the pain - as any unexpressed emotions lead to problems later on.

3. Avoid triggers and memories that take you back in time, and open up old wounds, so you feel the pain again.

4. Ground yourself in the present and who you are today – and remember you have strengths, and good people in your life.

5. Don’t allow the hurt and pain to take control of who you are, or limit what you’ll do, or the goals you set yourself.

6. Spend as much time as possible with those who treat you well – with those who see your worth, and who love and value you.

[recoveringself-blog]

8 Things to Stop Worrying About

1. Other peoples’ expectations of you. At the end of the day, it’s your life not their life - so just be yourself and set,and go for, your own goals.

2. What other people say and do. It’s not up to us to control other people, or to change how they act, or to make their decisions.

3. Expecting perfection. It’s unrealistic to aim for perfection. You’ll just be disappointed and discouraged all the time.

4. Getting it wrong. We all make mistakes in our journey through this life. That’s simply part of learning, and being normal and human.

6. Fitting in. Although social skills matter, and it’s good to think of others, you also need to be yourself - a special, unique individual. Beware - conformity can kill individuality.

7. Being right. This is highly over-rated and can cause a lot of stress. If you’re confident and real you don’t need to prove you’re right!

8. Life being out of control. At the end of the day, there’s not much we can control – except our own reactions and our attitudes to problems. So change what you can – and then relax and enjoy life.

[recoveringself-blog]

Don’t waste your time trying to get people to love you. Spend time with those who already do.

Unknown (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

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Pain is meant to propel you closer to your purpose. Don’t run from it. Embrace it.

Unknown (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

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Why Do I Feel Unloveable?

Often when people feel unloveable, it is tied into one of the following reasons:

1. As a child, a parent or authority figure either told you – or sent out the message that – you were unloveable. Because of that, you came to believe that your core self was deficient, unacceptable or inadequate. Now you find it hard to believe that anyone could ever love you as you, just for being you.

2. You experienced rejection, desertion or abandonment in one of your closest relationships. Now love feels scary, and is a source of anxiety and fear – rather than healing and security.

3. You feel regret for something you did, or the way you treated a person you loved. Hence, you don’t believe you deserved to be loved, or you fear you will make a mistake again.

4. You have developed a series of flawed beliefs that have coloured your expectations for love. For example, you may have concluded that love leads to pain …. or that no-one can be trusted … or love always ends.

5. A voice in your head says you cannot change so you don’t believe that “you have what it takes”. But none of us is perfect; we’re all on a journey; and if we choose to take a risk then we’ll find that we can change.

[recoveringself-blog]

Manual de la mujer inteligente (cabronas absténganse): 1- Mande a todos a la verga. 2- No mande mensajes ni stalkee al sujeto en cuestión. 3- Báñese, aunque se quiera quedar en cama, métase a bañar. 4- Póngase perfume en el escote, (indispensable) y lápiz labial. 5- Use única y exclusivamente rímel en base agua, para cuando sienta ganas de llorar lo piense dos veces. 6- Salga de su casa, no importa si no tiene a quien visitar. Agarre al perro y salga. No tiene perro?, agarre un libro y diríjase al parque más cercano. 7- Sonría, nadie quiere estar con una persona con cara de amargada. 8- Hágase el amor. Usted solita, en su cuarto, con o sin estímulo. Las sonrisas más bellas se muestran cuando uno está satisfecha. 9- Coma, bien y copioso. Consiéntase. Un antojo no matará a nadie. Las dietas están hechas para romperse una vez al mes. 10- Quiérase, suena fácil, ya sé. Mírese en el espejo con respeto y serenidad. Si no tiene nada agradable que decirse permanezca en silencio. Si no aprende a respetar su sobrepeso, su estatura, el tamaño de su busto, sus estrías y celulitis, es fácil que alguien pueda herirla en su intimidad. 11- Recuerde que todo esto pasará. Nada dura para siempre. Deje salir sus lágrimas, pero no se regodee en su dolor. Ya mañana puede volver a comenzar.

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How our Wrong Beliefs can Stress us out

Often the thoughts we carry round in our head – and our basic beliefs about the way things should be – are actually a source of unnecessary stress. So, check out the beliefs that we have listed below and see if there’s something that applies to you:

1. Demand for Approval: This is the belief that others must always treat us well. We must have love or approval all the time, from every single person who matters to us, or else we feel we’re worthless and unloveable.

2. High Self Expectations: This is the belief that we must always succeed, and even excel, in everything we do – or it means that we’re a failure and we don’t have any value.

3. Dependency: This is the belief that we can’t cope on our own. We need to lean on others to help us all the time – and we can’t be independent and just make our own decisions.

4. Helplessness: This is the belief that the events in our past have determined our future and the goals that we can set. That is, we think we’re helpless victims – and that’s why we have these problems.

5. Emotional Control: This where we give control to other people, and say that they’re the ones who make us feel the way we do. If only they were different then we wouldn’t feel this way.

6. Personal Idealism: This is the belief that other people and the world must always be predictable, and fair and just.

7. Problem Avoidance: This is the belief that problems make life hard and should be avoided wherever possible. We don’t believe they central for developing new skills, resilience, perseverance and character.

8. We Must Be Free From Anxiety At All Times (Discomfort Anxiety): This is the belief that we can’t cope with feeling anxious, nervous, worried or uncomfortable. Instead, life should be stress free so I don’t have to have these feelings.

9. Perfectionism: This is the belief that there’s a perfect answer, or that there’s only one solution, to the problems I am facing. Hence, I’m frightened to act in case I make a mistake.

10. Over Caring: This is the belief that I must become upset and show that I care when others are upset – or it means that I am heartless and I lack compassion.

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Are you Addicted to Approval?

Signs of being addicted to approval include:

1. You are very aware of the expectations of others. They also affect how you feel about yourself.

2. You are constantly worried about how others view you/ what they are thinking about you.

3. You choose NOT to do things that others don’t approve of for fear of judgment and rejection.

4. You DO things you don’t want to do as you fear others making fun or you, putting you down, or talking about it.

. You feel anxious and upset if you think you have upset or irritated someone – and desperately try to make things right.

6. You think the views and opinions of others are more informed and valuable than yours.

7. You agree when others criticise and put you down. Then you start to attack and feel ashamed of yourself.

8. You reject yourself if other people reject you, and basically believed that at core you are flawed.