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Why are Black-only spaces with no white people allowed necessary? There’s a similar phenomenon in the queer community (which I am a part of) where people are obsessed with having special “no cishets allowed” spaces, and I just…don’t get it? If someone is respectful and leaves plenty of room for Black/queer people to talk about their experiences, why shut them out anyway? Not trying to be a dick or anything, just very confused. Asking bc you mentioned that you disliked how thatsister.com was being used by white people, and it got me curious.

The fact that you feel the need to ask is why we need those spaces 😅 Whatever your intent, this is "why don't we have straight/white pride??" repackaged. it's because white people- cis, trans, het, queer, WHATEVER- force themselves into the center of the space when they enter. You just have the privilege to not notice that it's happening!

Sometimes, I don't feel like caring that the song I'm playing says "n*gga" and there's some white person in the room shocked and aghast bc "this music is so violent!" Sometimes I don't feel like venting my feelings about white women oppressing me and some white woman in the room go "but what about me? I dated Black 🥺" Sometimes I want to crack an in-community joke and hear AAVE spoken fluently without flinching. Sometimes I'd like to relax the mask!

Y'all take up enough space as it is. How much more do you need, you know? We've spent every second of our lives incorporating and/or dealing with the presence and power of whiteness- especially when you have never been required to do the same for us! SOMETIMES, we don't want it to be about you! It doesn't have to be! We would like to be ourselves without having to have our existence explained or studied or "validated". It would be different if y'all were normal about us but... You aren't. And until that day, we will need in-community spaces away from you, where it is SAFE to be ourselves without the performance!

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On the one hand its kind of alarming how many women in 2025 are fantasizing about being 50s housewives, on the other hand its pretty clearly just escapism and can be taken as a measure of how bad the economic future of most regular people looks right now, on the other hand the particular character of this escapism is so blantantly divorced from our historical understanding of what the 1950s were actually like (jim crow in effect????) that it should probably be understood as a failure in education, on the other hand escapism by its very nature is preoccupied with aesthetics and doesnt give a shit about reality and we cant guarantee that better understanding of the precarity and boredom of the privileged 50s homemaker's position would have any effect at all on the women fantasizing about being one, on the other hand whats wrong with wanting to take care of your family and feel taken care of by your partner in return, on the other hand for the love of god it was the 50s on the other hand

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Call me crazy but I do think that trying to apply a cisgender based framework of gendered oppression onto intercommunity trans dynamics — in any capacity — will always have one major, glaringly obvious point of failure, which is:

NONE of us are fucking cisgender and the gendered privileges afforded by cisgender society are never genuinely or fully afforded to ANY of us.

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I guess a more general version of the point is that in the last 50-ish years, everyday language has borrowed more and more of both the terminology and structural features of technical language. This happens for a lot of reasons. But I think it's mostly not a good thing. For one, being abstract and technical is not actually very useful in the messy real world, where concepts are fuzzy and vague and most things of importance are not quantifiable. For another, if natural language borrows too much of the authority of science and the law, it might find that there's not enough left afterwards for science and the law to do what we need them to do.

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doodling a bunny vs doodling a hare

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i think it is reductive and simplistic to say that all trans men have male privilege simply by existing as trans men

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there is also something kind of gross to me about the constant insinuations that the "questioning social norms" component of autism immediately turns every autistic person into a genderfuckery kinkster leftist who don't give a fuck. and I say this as someone who is a genderfuckery kinkster leftist. autism isn't a political alignment, it's a disability. sometimes the autism 'sense of justice' is wrong. sometimes an autistic person will find a home in conservative ideologies for many of the same reasons as other autistic people will find a home in communist ideologies. sometimes the autistic communist will come up with dogshit analysis even as they're guided by their sense of justice, because good political analysis isn't a feeling or a neurotype, it's a skill that you cultivate. I know it would be pleasant and emotionally soothing for you to be able to believe that autism turns someone into a superpowered leftist but it's a politically fraught and deeply questionable line of thought to be feeding into

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kids deserve so much more respect and it turns out that saying that is a great way to locate the horrible people in any community <3

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I want to live in the world that you motherfuckers arguing that “masculinity is always rewarded, being a trans man is an upgrade from being a cis woman” live in

You’d be able to get a binder at Target or Walmart and they’d have sick as fuck designs on them.

Pads and tampons would be marketed to boys and men and the freebies they give you when you’re ten and your elementary school holds a basic “here’s what puberty is” lesson would come with a transmasc dysphoria management starter kit.

Going to a hair salon to get your first short haircut would get the hairdresser hyped up for you instead of pulling you into the back to ask what happened and are you okay and then taking three hours to give you the haircut you actually asked for.

Not only would everyone know what a packer and STP are, but you could easily get a decent 2-in-1 for daily wear at, again, Target or Walmart. Practicing using it would be met with encouragement.

Female characters in shows would often have an arc about becoming more masculine and this would be seen as a good thing instead of something to overcome in order to be more feminine.

You could tell people you planned to start T and they’d congratulate you instead of trying to talk you out of it. Same goes for top surgery.

Porn featuring trans guys would be more mainstream and would not be 95% gay cis dudes fucking a trans guy in the pussy for a target audience of gay cis male chasers.

Not wearing makeup would not be counted against you in a job interview as long as you had a he/him pronoun badge and short hair. Wearing a men’s dress shirt and pants to the job interview would also be recognized as professional regardless of what your legal gender is.

Speaking of legal gender, you could just walk up to a judge and say “hey fuck this shit, I don’t wanna be a woman, can we change my docs” and they’ll do it cause lol they don’t wanna be one either.

There would be more trans man politicians and CEOs than cis women in the same fields. This would naturally lead to trans men’s issues being addressed more regularly and taken seriously.

Unfortunately, not a single one of these has been true for real fucking life.

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from the bottom of my heart: just because something makes you uncomfortable doesn't mean it shouldn't be allowed to exist

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I think there's something to be said about the difference between "has privilege" and "oppressor class", at least the way I see it.

Example, I do not for a moment, believe that perisex trans people are an oppressor class to intersex people. I believe that perisex trans people in many contexts do have privilege over intersex people for the fact they are perisex. I also believe the majority of perisex trans people are intersexist to some extent. This is mostly just due to ignorance, and being raised under perinormativity. Rather than any specific hatred towards intersex people.

But I do not believe perisex trans people as a group, are in any way responsible for intersexist systems of oppression. By virtue of being sex variant, perisex trans people share more in common with us being oppressed under perinormativity than they do with perisex cis people. I personally feel far safer and more at home with perisex trans people than I do with perisex cis people, because of that shared struggle.

This is why a lot of my intersex activism is specifically targeted towards helping the trans community generally be more welcoming and understanding of intersex people. We are natural allies to one another.

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It is deeply, deeply beneficial to TERFs if the only characteristic of TERF ideology you will recognize as wrong, harmful, or problematic is "they hate trans women".

TERF ideology is an expansive network of extremely toxic ideas, and the more of them we accept and normalize, the easier it becomes for them to fly under the radar and recruit new TERFs. The closer they get to turning the tide against all trans people, trans women included.

Case in point: In 2014-2015, I fell headlong into radical feminism. I did not know it was called radical feminism at the time, but I also didn't know what was wrong with radical feminism in the first place. I didn't see a problem with it.

I was a year deep into this shit when people I had been following, listening to, and looking up to finally said they didn't think trans women were women. It was only then that I unfollowed those people, specifically; but I continued to follow other TERFs-who-didn't-say-they-were-TERFs. I continued ingesting and spreading their ideas- for years after.

If TERFs "only target trans women" and "only want trans women gone", if that's the one and only problem with their ideology and if that's the only way we'll define them, we will inevitably miss a vast majority of the quiet beliefs that support their much louder hatred of trans women.

As another example: the trans community stood relatively united when TERFs and conservatives targeted our right to use the correct restroom, citing the "dangers" of trans women sharing space with cis women. But when they began targeting Lost Little Girls and Confused Lesbians and trotting detransitioners out to raise a panic about trans men, virtually the only people speaking up about it were other transmascs. Now we see a rash of anti-trans healthcare bills being passed in the US, and they're hurting every single one of us.

When you refuse to call a TERF a TERF just because they didn't specifically say they hate trans women, when you refuse to think critically about a TERF belief just because it's not directly related to trans women, you are actively helping TERFs spread their influence and build credibility.

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nobody needs to know what gender you were assigned at birth. no more agab. nobody needs to know.

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see more on webtoon at Queer Comics

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Really getting tired of people's push that trans men don't face violence... When we have one of the highest rape statistics.

It's really starting to feel like the whole 'rape isn't that bad' shit because people want to prove trans woman are more oppressed. Rape and murder statistics shouldn't be compared on which is worse, they should both be worked on equally :/ idk

Yeah, I get the sense it’s less that folks don’t view rape as being “as bad” as other forms of violence, and more that they don’t know it happens at all.

Invisibility is genuinely one of the biggest problems we face as a group, and it ties into everything; including acknowledgement of the violence we face, and even the studies that do exist around us specifically.

Folks who don’t talk about those statistics, or don’t factor them into their arguments, are definitely guilty of not listening to us or educating themselves on our experiences- but they aren’t guilty of actual rape apologism unless that’s what they’re doing.

That said, I went through the 2015 U.S. Transgender Study and pulled some of the statistics for sexual assault:

[The graph is measuring lifetime sexual assault by gender identity. 51% of trans men have experiences sexual assault in their lifetime, compared to 37% of trans women, with AFAB nonbinary folks experiencing the most at 58%.]

[The graph is measuring lifetime sexual assault among trans men by race/ethnicity. 71% American Indians have experienced sexual assault, which is the highest number; compared to 47% overall, and 52% of white people.]

There’s some other categories trans men & AFAB nonbinary people have higher rates of discrimination or violence in:

AFAB trans people in general are most likely to be denied HRT (32% of trans men, 36% of AFAB nonbinary folks).

Trans men (57%) are most likely to be denied surgery coverage, with the next highest being trans women (54%).

Trans men (42%) are also most likely to have negative experiences with healthcare providers, with trans women as the next highest (36%).

Trans men (31%) are most likely to avoid care out of fear, versus the next highest- trans women (22%).

Trans men (54%) have the highest rate of suicide attempts with the next highest being trans women (40%).

Nb folks (71%) and trans men (62%) were more likely to report having never or only sometimes been treated with respect by law enforcement than trans women (51%).

Trans men (52%) are more likely to experience problems with airport security than trans women (31%).

Trans men (75%) are more likely to avoid public restrooms than trans women (53%) and nonbinary folks (53%).

Obviously this doesn’t mean trans women don’t face “as much” oppression, or that we shouldn’t care about their oppression as much as- and in fact more than- we currently do.

It just means that there are areas where trans men, and transmascs in general, do struggle more than we acknowledge. It means we need to stop allowing this idea of “transmasc privilege” to go unchallenged, and it means we need to be doing more for AFAB trans people than we currently are- as a community, and as a movement for trans people.