red-steam
540 posts
He/him. This blog is just for venting and organizing my thoughts. Whether or not you interact with it is up to you.
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Text
I feel like I am a couple days away from a full-blown episode and I really don’t want to do that right now.
#just don’t tell the people at my home#I don’t want them calling mobile crisis on me again#they always do#my post
0 notes
Text
I'm going to *remembers suicide is often not a desire for death itself but rather an attempt to radically change one's life because the current state of being has become unbearable but the person can't think of any way to change it other than death* kill myself
90K notes
·
View notes
Text
oh i am ABSOLUTELY messed up but it did make me funny
47K notes
·
View notes
Text
The bloody tissue from my arm is so pretty.
#I wish I could keep them#and that they stayed bright red#self harm#mental illness#blood#cutting#my post
0 notes
Text
i hate that kind of sadness where your chest physically hurts
10K notes
·
View notes
Text
i like to laugh and joke but always remember that i am damned
27K notes
·
View notes
Text
The shame that comes from caving in to your hunger before the allotted time slot you allow yourself to eat.
1 note
·
View note
Text
My BMI is now ~16.
#bmi#weight#my anorexia is pleased#but the rest of me is like ‘oh no’#I am so torn#not that I have a choice right now though#I still can’t eat much#my post
0 notes
Text
What fucking deity do I have to make a deal with to get my lower intestine working again
#I can’t eat I can’t fucking eat#this isn’t my eating disorder I can’t eat#food doesn’t leave my body#I never feel the urge to go to the bathroom#I was already in the emergency room on monday for this#what the hell am I supposed to do I have tried everything#and why won’t my fucking doctor call me back#I know you’re busy but I feel like this is going to kill me#and dying from being Too Full of Shit is not the way I want to go#and I’m only 27#what the hell am I supposed to do#now the weekend is here and I have lost contact with my doctor for two days#I am hungry and dizzy and stressed and scared. not to mention stressed#this is supposed to be pizza friday. one fucking nice thing I get to look forward to#I might have to just put myself on a liquid diet again#which is very quickly maddening#my post#my body is broken
0 notes
Text
In the emergency room
In so much pain
All over
I feel sick
I’m alone
Nothing is working
I feel like this is going to happen again
0 notes
Text
shout out to everyone who participated in the january-february mass depressive episode
283K notes
·
View notes
Text
My cold is getting worse, my digestion hasn’t worked in six days, I’m in pain everywhere, and I’m alone.
0 notes