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I have this OC ship, original fiction. Person A is a soft prince, beautiful perfumed curls, never done manual labor in his life. He's actually studied ethics and diplomacy and other princely things to the point of obsession but pretends he doesn't stress about every decision before he makes it. He's a spoiled prince after all, life is easy!

Person B is his big bulky muscle AF body guard who got to this position by Following Orders, not asking questions. No thoughts, only sparing practice and standing at attention. He doesn't understand right from wrong, but he's aware of it, so he lets the others worry about morality and just tell him where to point his sword. He's slightly shorter than the prince (esp with his helmet off, or if the prince is wearing his crown)

They're both aware that the other has feelings for them, but no amount of the prince flirtatiously being like 'oh Knight, I need someone to watch over me while I sleep/can you help me dress for the ball/how about a kiss for good luck' could EVER make the knight consider doing any of those things bc a relationship with the prince is Against The Rules, and without rules he is nothing.

When plot starts Happening and everything goes to shit, and the prince is agonizing over how to save his country, the knight is just dying to protect the prince from the pain and stress but doesn't know what to do. 'please just tell me who I can kill to make this go away'

They don't have names yet but I think about them all the time.

btw i meant to make this post like 3 days ago but i have been very forgetful and not perceiving of time lately teehee ^^ but anyway yall know that one post thats like. i will die if people do not tell me about their ocs. well that is real and true and i do in fact think people telling me about their ocs would fix me at least a little so im gonna need yall to fucking pick it up or i'll DIE okay. [i slam my hands down on my desk and like normally it would be really cool and awesome and intimidating but i am so weak and sickly due to lack of ocs that it doesn't even make a dent and its kind of a little bit awkward.]

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Insurance won't pay for the treatment that actually helps my chronic neck injury so I go to a massage therapist to pulverize the muscles into submission. She asked me to remind her what caused the injury (short version: bad epidural) and she hit me with, 'oh, you have kids? You don't look like a mom!'

Girl.

I have looked like a mom for a least a decade before I actually became one. As soon as my body finished puberty it went straight into Puberty II : MILF Edition with the Badonkadonk DLC and Hair Loss computer virus.

I could tell from her delivery that this is a line she uses all the time, apparently unaware that implying not looking like a mom is a Compliment is insulting? Especially to those of us who very stereotypically do.

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I'm 10 years late to playing Dragon Age Inquisition, but I'm so glad I finally did. That game is so fucking amazing, and the Solavellan romance has ruined me lmao. It's so beautifully tragic, like you can tell they truly love one another. That Solas so DESPERATELY wants to be with her, but his sense of duty and pride will not let him.

god, it hurts SO good.

I'm so nervous for Dreadwolf, and if we'll be able to get closure for our Lavellans and Solas. If it's even canon? Which I hope it is, cause romancing him and having him reveal who he truly was to her was so damn impactful. Like it felt like that's the way it was supposed to be.

I'm gushing lmao. But this game was wow. I know I missed a TON in it too, cause I definitely finished too fast and struggled in Tresspasser. Was way underleveled lol. Definitely NEED to play it again, anddd hurt myself once more with the Solas romance.

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On second thought, let's try this again. With answers in empirical AND metric, Solavellans, about how big is Solas' rotunda? (From his desk to the wall.)

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people who quote lines in the fic comments go to heaven btw. if you care

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[Image Description: Tags reading "anyway I made a new tag, smlungst, smut and fluff and angst is now smlungst"]

The AO3 Tag of the Day is: Let's make this a thing asap

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"Girl, based on your playlists your blorbo is hella problematic."

???

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Me, today: Man, I could sure go for some McD breakfast. Nay, wait! I do not have my Jacket. My hair is not as Cool today. What if Drive-Thru Girl recognizes me/my car/my clear and concise order and the memory of Customer With Cool Jacket is forever tarnished? Alas, I must never again prevail upon the tenderness of golden hashbrowns. Thus is the price of greatness.

Me, ordering McD breakfast: I must speak clearly and keep my order short and simple and have my payment ready, thus achieving a good grade in Drive-Thru Customer, a goal that is both normal to want and possible to achieve

The drive-thru girl: oh hey, awesome jacket. Is that custom? Very cool. I genuinely hope you have a good day.

Me: 😮 *whispers* extra credit

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Me, ordering McD breakfast: I must speak clearly and keep my order short and simple and have my payment ready, thus achieving a good grade in Drive-Thru Customer, a goal that is both normal to want and possible to achieve

The drive-thru girl: oh hey, awesome jacket. Is that custom? Very cool. I genuinely hope you have a good day.

Me: 😮 *whispers* extra credit

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Damnit, Aziraphael. When is season three??

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Why do you think Varric made the Inquisitor a Comte? Wouldn’t that make them outrank him? Dumar seemed pretty powerless and I always thought that Varric got shoved in the rule to make him in charge of the recovery of Kirkwall but not actually of Kirkwall?

Sweet gentle anon, I know it was not your intention but you have stumbled into one of my favorite conversational topics and I hope you are ready for the fall out.

Welcome, children, to Fereldone talks about Thedas' Geo/Theopolitical bullshit!

(tl:dr at the bottom)

So, very important things to know going in: Kirkwall's political history is weird. Founded by the Tevinter Imperium in -620 Ancient (which is DA equivalent of BC/BCE, or the time before the ages ascribed to history by the chantry), it was a mining city. After a slave tried to kill the Archon the Magisterium decided they needed to start importing- and presumably breaking the will of- slaves farther from the heart of the imperium and thus the City of Chains gained purpose.

I could throw a lot of facts and names at you, but here's the basics-- it housed millions of slaves over hundreds of years, at the end of the ancient age they rebelled and overthrew it. Kirk means black in Alamarri, the stone they mined there was jet black, and so Kirkwall (black walls) becomes a Free city. It suffered during the fourth blight in the Exalted Age (fifth age, for those keeping score at home), was conquered by the Qunari in the Storm Age (seventh age) and was then conquered by the Orlesians. Orlais was on a roll with the whole 'we own everything whoops killed your ancestral leaders', but in the Blessed age (eighth age) the people retaliate and overthrow the empire to regain independence.

For reasons I can only assume are laziness and a desire not to change all the paperwork, the leader of Kirkwall is still referred to by the Orlesian word Viscount/Viscomte. Bear with me, this is important later.

We are now in the early dragon age (9th age, and when Inquisition happens). The first two rulers of free Kirkwall sucked. Basically they blockaded their own port and made people pay a fortune to get in and trade. This didn't sit well with the Chantry, who would much rather do that themselves, and in 9:14 Divine Beatrix II (later saved by Cassandra!) tells the Templars to strong arm him into submission talk some sense into the viscount.

The knight commander is killed in the exchange, and so his second command Meredith Stannard steps up to try her hand at negotiations. It goes poorly, so she arrests and jails the Viscount and essentially takes control of the city with full Chantry approval. Now the Templars are essentially in control of the city, and so they appoint a puppet leader (Dumar) to play act in control. But Meredith is actually in charge, and everyone knows it.

Including Elthina, who named her Knight Commander. This is why the Chantry never actually does anything about templar abuses.

So! If you are still with me, this is where Viscount becomes important. There are some wibbly bits about how you treat Sebastian Vael in DA2, but essentially Kirkwall decides that it's time to be an actual city state and not a poorly run Theocracy. As the only man with a plan (and the money and influence to do it), Varric steps in to help his home town. Ecstatic at not being responsible for that, the nobles (comtes) band together and put him in charge.

So while yes, in Orlais Viscount be beneath comte, Kirkwall has been so broken up and conquered and messed with over the years that names and titles are meaningless. In my personal opinion, Varric ennobles the inquisitor so that they will always have a staunch ally amongst the backbiting Kirkwaller nobles. It's also a nice and generous a decent thing to do, of course, but Varric is very good at making something do a lot of things for him all at once.

(Also, Varric knows exactly what that key does. He just ensured that someone smart enough and invested enough in peace will always be able to either open or close the harbor--making sure that the people who depend on him will be safe no matter what.)

Personally, the Trespasser epilouge is useless. It's the result of not having a head writer to review things, and the sweet but misguided attempt to give us closure if DA4 never happened. Hawke doesn't come back to Kirkwall. They are in Weisshaupt (if not in the Fade), and that plotIine will likely be in the final game. The Inquisition in whatever form it still has will be heading north, possibly with Kirkwall as an operating base, and this way the Inquisitor (who is confirmed to not be playabe in DA4) will have a reason to be there and not in Tevinter.

That's my read, anyway.

tl;dr Kirkwall has weird history that led to odd ways of organizing their nobility, Varric wants friends in places almost as high as him, shit's going down in the north and I think the inquisitor will be in Kirkwall so the writers needed a reason to put them there.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

Mod Fereldone

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It's a fandom pet peeve of mine that no one ever draws the square ribbing on Solas' chastity flaps, but I'm only just now seeing the buttons on his sleeves???

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Marigolds in the Hanged Man *2023 update*

Hopefully this isn't insensitive timing considering... You know. But this is when I happened to finish it. I made a large change to a couple of the chapters (info below the cut) but first a summary for those new to the fic:

Marigolds in the Hanged Man

Almost twenty years ago, Varric Tethras fell in love with a woman of paragon skill. Since then he has met Wardens, Champions, and Inquisitors; First Enchanters, Magistrates, and mysterious apostates; Seekers, Templars, and the new Divine; two Red Jennys, several Qunari, and even a couple of demigods. After everything he's been through, what kind of woman would it take to win his heart anew? "This is the best tavern in Kirkwall. It could use some cute dwarven serving girls, but otherwise, it's perfect."

Also, my very first color digital art piece! Behold Marigold's floating head.

2023 update: I was never satisfied with chapter 16, but I didn't know how to fix it back when I wrote it. And after I gained the writing experience to know how I wanted to change it, I still didn't, because I wanted to work on new projects. Also, it was the first long story I ever wrote, and I'd have to reread it to update it, and surely it would be cringe.

But everytime I get an email notification that someone has kudos'd it, I'm like, 'Yay!', then, 'But I wonder if they're at that part yet...'

And I'm sick of feeling that way. So I finally updated it! (End of chapter 16 and beginning of 17.) And made an silly cover to celebrate. And, also, it turns out, this story holds tf up! Not cringe at all, it was such a fun re-read. And now that it's updated it's a great time for you to reread too, if you're so inclined! :D

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Varigold AU

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It's been too long since we've heard from Elle and Solas! (also, it's a gift for @keturagh.)

Elle and Solas return home from the Arlathven and finally get some time alone 🍋👀 Read on AO3!

Arlathven - Part 3

They were both worn out by the time they got to Solas’ car where it waited in the airport long-term parking lot. “Would you like to stop anywhere for food, or should I just drop you off at home?” he asked after they’d settled in.

“Let’s just go to your place.”

“You know I’m always happy to spend more time with you,” he said with a ghost of a smile that made her feel warm, “But it’s been a long week and you said you have to get an early start tomorrow. You should get some rest while you can.”

“I know. I was thinking I could rest at your place? Like spend the night there, instead.”

He looked over at her, intent enough that she gestured to the road to remind him that he was currently driving. “You’re sure?”

“Of course. Besides, I’ll get to sleep in a little later since your place is closer to campus.”

A smirk lingered on his face, even though he was clearly trying to hide it. They both knew if she spent the night they wouldn’t be just sleeping. She smiled to herself, feeling warm in a completely different way.

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Today I made the party buy (and describe) fancy hats, then attend a tea party. Bc I'm the DM and I said so.