reebmiester

[reebmiester]

You are now trapped in the last movie you watched with the last person you texted. How’s it going?

[reebmiester]

oh ok

[reebmiester]

New Year’s Resolutions: 

- Get a really fancy sword

- Learn how to swing really fancy sword

- Profit???

[reebmiester]

They're playing Jesse's Girl on the radio and my sister just said "this guy has never been in a real relationship before and now he's seeing his buddy in one and has no idea that he wants the stability and not the girl. This man's parents are divorced." And I cannot get over it why is she so right.

[reebmiester]

"You're losing blood" no I know exactly where it is. The floor. Don't ever underestimate me.

[reebmiester]

From a state hearing in Texas

[reebmiester]

hard cider was invented when someone decided to make beer that tastes good instead of bad

[reebmiester]

This is your regularly scheduled reminder that "Life finds a way" is about the dinosaurs becoming transgender

[reebmiester]

“it’s circus work.” not to me. not if it’s my monkeys.

[reebmiester]

Here at the Host Club we account for every possible taste in men: blond, evil, tall, babey, two of them, and girls

[reebmiester]

[reebmiester]

The thing I remember about the day gay marriage was legalized in the US is that first I felt massive relief and then I opened tumblr and somebody had already written avengers fanfic about it and in the fanfic Barack Obama was also there

[reebmiester]

Yeah, the doctors ran some blood work and discovered I was actually the Thing all along. No, I don't know if my insurance will cover it

[reebmiester]

so hard not to become the most annoying person on earth if you're a little excitable and just learned a little about a topic literally no one around you has any interest in

[reebmiester]

idk who needs to hear this but if you have been putting something off bc it doesn't need to be done until the end of the month. we are almost done with the teens we are approaching the big numbers (the twenties). that date shall dawn upon you swiftly and without mercy before you know it. psa for everyone except me i got plany off time

[reebmiester]

‘do u have kinks’ yeah like five in my neck

[reebmiester]

I don't think I realized how funny Cobra Bubbles' line "It won't be easy to explain this back at headquarters" is until I remembered that he's former CIA. He's going back to the Department of Child Services and will have to explain that aliens exist and that keeping this family together is now a matter of planetary security. It's gonna be a long week in the office.