reflections-beyondabuse

[reflections-beyondabuse]

You're not happy why aren't you writing

You’re not happy why aren’t you writing

I had an interesting conversation this weekend with my partner. He asked if I was writing, my answer was my writing was on hold. What he said next surprised me. Then you aren’t happy because you aren’t writing. You can’t get comfortable. You always have to push yourself. I listened intently and took in his words. I decided I would do something for myself (painted my nails). As I was painting my…

[reflections-beyondabuse]

10 years ago - unmask yourself, let your voice be heard, and your light shine

10 years ago – unmask yourself, let your voice be heard, and your light shine

10 years ago, I wore a mask. Ask me how I was, and I would say I’m doing alright/ok, not good or great. I faced an internal battle of disappointment and resentment of the life I was living and the man I chose to marry. Living in a world of control and manipulation left me feeling I had no options, had low self-esteem, and lacked confidence. Spring ahead ten years, and through tribulations,…

[reflections-beyondabuse]

Hello Fall!

Think about the different areas of your life. Pick four goals for this quarter.  Then list at least 4 actions to complete each one.  Give your reason for completing the goal and how you will feel once completing. Family RelationshipsSocial LifeSpiritualCareer/BusinessPersonal HealthEmotional The process doesn’t end there. Each week break down the 4 actions into attainable tasks for the…

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What is the one thing that makes you question your healing and growth?

What is the one thing that makes you question your healing and growth?

Life and not managing my priorities well has kept me away from blogging and writing on a consistent basis. This quarter’s goal will be to consistently write. I’ve complete my empowerment and mindset course with the Freedom Mentor. Just last week I started to feel like I haven’t made any progress. Not because I haven’t been reaching my weekly goals but because the biggest and most important goal…

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If I could change one things in the world...

If I could change one things in the world…

If I could change one thing in the world, what would it be? Why is this important to me? How will this help the world? What impact would it have on me? If I could change one thing in the world, I would give access to free health care. Healthcare includes medical, dentist, mental health for preventative services, and emergency services.  This is important to me because the need for health care…

[reflections-beyondabuse]

When did you have a paradigm shift?

When did you have a paradigm shift?

What is a paradigm? A paradigm is how you view something. What you value, what drives you, your standards, and your set of ideas. Fundamental change to how I see the world. Changing your paradigm opens up a new liveliness for personal and professional growth. My paradigm makes me happy, does it motivate me, does it support/better/change align with my priorities (family, work,…

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Three Biggest Fears that Hold Me Back

Three Biggest Fears that Hold Me Back

What are my 3 biggest fears that hold myself back? What are the opposite to these? What is an affirmation for each that affirms the opposite? 3 Biggest Fears I’m not enoughCrashing and burningSuccess (comfortable where you are) Opposite I am enough, I am not lacking anything, I am where I am supposed to be, I belongSucceeding one step at a time, don’t try and boil the ocean set small goals…

[reflections-beyondabuse]

Growth Takes Self Reflection

Growth Takes Self Reflection

I am finding lessons from my trials.  By looking at the benefits and drawbacks of the behavior, I felt I was selfish and inconsiderate.   Situations: After our first son was born and I was trying to breastfeed him, I found it challenging. I wanted to stop and either pump or not do it. My ex’s response was, you aren’t going to stop. That, for me, was a breaking point.  I needed his empathy and…

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Lessons from Tia

The lesson Tia taught. We were fortunate to both have gotten into the same college. We choice different majors and therefore didn’t see much of each other. One day when leaving class Tia came and asked for a ride. Of course. One ride home led to a daily ask. At the time, I felt like she was taking advantage of me. Taking her home was not on my way to where I was going. It was actually out of the…

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New Beginning Gradtitudes

With each accomplishment, I thank God first for his constant alignment. I ask, listen and wait for what will be mine. I then think of where I was and how much growth and progress I have made. Just two years ago, if you asked me to write my personal goals, I would cry. I didn’t know who I was, what I liked, where I wanted to be. I couldn’t see the potential, and I had it myself. One of the keys…

[reflections-beyondabuse]

Would you forgive a cheating spouse?

Would you forgive a cheating spouse?

I was the cheater. Cheating for me was an outlet. It was a freeing moment in a 17 year long manipulative and controlling relationship. I was so caught up I did not consider anything else, not myself or my children. I got caught ironically with a mobile game that had messaging within it. It took almost two months to pull the truth out of me. My truth was not that I was with one particular person.…

[reflections-beyondabuse]

Vision - Freedom to Choose

Vision – Freedom to Choose

If you asked me two years ago to write down goals, I would cry. I couldn’t do it because something was blocking my manifestation. It was a mental block that, for years, my opinions and suggestions were minimized. I was able to break free from my mental shackles little by little. I had angels pushing me. As much as I cried, I also listened and executed. I’ve grown so much.  At my last coaching…

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Are you with the right person?

Are you with the right person?

You are with the right person when you are free to… SpeakLaughCryBe sillySpace outDrop the ballSee differentlyAct like a childBe stubbornOverreactMake mistakesTry new thingsFail, and it’s okBe vulnerableHave your spaceSocializeSit in silence When that person values your…. OpinionExperiencesInterestStrengths/weaknessesWhere you are and where you are…

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Emasculating Events

“deprive (a man) of his male role or identity.” “Protector”, “leader”, “teacher” “Mom, he wants to buy a historic home that was his grandfather’s.” The state of the home needs lots of work. I’m concerned that the estimates he has in his mind to fix it so that it is livable to my standards are incorrect. She can hear it in my voice that I’m in distress over the situation. She asks do you want me…

[reflections-beyondabuse]

What's so hard….

What’s so hard….

The path to changing things that you don’t like about yourself is hard. The task that I find to be the hardest is writing. Writing makes you swallow your inadequacies. If I’m honest, writing and consistently taking action are the biggest tangible hurdles I have to overcome.  A year ago, if you asked me to write down my goals or what I wanted, I would break down crying. I didn’t know and at…

[reflections-beyondabuse]

Emotional Triggers

In my past relationship, some choice statements would suppress my inner voice. Even today, some of the same ideas lend to similar behaviors. Almost as if I seek shelter within. Over the last two years, I’ve started to express myself and tell the person how it makes me feel. It’s about being aware and understanding how something makes you feel. Wrong or right, it is how you feel. Can you identify…

[reflections-beyondabuse]

Gratitude - Day 5

Gratitude – Day 5

A little less serious the small things I’m grateful for.