refuzz - Tumblr blog

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bites you bites you bites you i need dlc... original

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Tonight at 7:30 pm PDT, chat with me for a few hours while I play Dragon Quest Monsters II 3ds!

Don't you want three to four hours of this?????????

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Strangled Cat Sub Reigen VS. Pathetically Whimpering Dub Reigen FIGHT

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Wait are we all ignoring that you apparently threw a shark once? Please tell us more!

My family likes to vacation in Topsail, North Carolina, which is a little barrier island mostly covered in vacation homes. We rent a huge house in their off season, when most people consider it too cold to be at the beach, and we, with our icewater blood, consider it quite pleasantly deserted.

I love going for walks at night, especially when there’s a clear sky, so I, age sixteen, would go a few miles up the beach around midnight most nights. One night, while still about a mile from our house, I saw something rolling in the surf. 

“That’s either a plastic bag caught on a log,” I thought, “Or a four foot shark.”

I jogged over. It was not a plastic bag caught on a log. 

The shark was moving and didn’t appear to be hurt, but was caught in water only an inch or so deep, being pushed higher with every wave. I was by myself, and didn’t own a cell phone, and couldn’t see a house with lights on in either direction. There was nobody around. Leaving to go get help would probably take long enough for him to suffocate. The best thing I could do for this shark, I figured, would be to get him back in the ocean. 

I have no idea how he wound up so high on the beach, because it was a very shallow slope. I’d have to carry him a good fifteen or so feet to get him into water deep enough to swim. It was nearly a full moon, so I could sort of see what I was doing. I got a grip on the shark, careful not to squeeze too hard, in case he was hurt, and picked him up. He didn’t like that at all. 

I started walking into the water. Here’s a thing I didn’t know about sharks: They’re pretty damn flexible. I got a couple steps with this shark, looked down, and realized there were a hell of a lot of teeth coming directly at my forearm. 

It occurred to me that I had not thought this through very well.

I’m not proud of what I did. It seemed like the best way to get this shark back in deep enough water and avoid dropping thirty pounds of very bitey animal directly on my own toes. So.

I yote the shark with as much force as I could muster. 

He curved through the air like a thing of beauty, all angry and toothsome in the moonlight, and splashed wonderfully into the deeper waters. I caught a glimpse of fin diving away shortly after. 

And that’s the last I saw of him. 

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do not separate them…..

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May 10, 2024 - Students of the University of Puerto Rico at Río Piedras have taken down the colonial US flag flying over their school and replaced it with the Palestinian flag. [video]

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Its weird for me to think that dolphins existed at the same time as queens and knights and shit like that. I feel like dolphins were invented in the 80s by crystal shops to sell porcelain statues to divorced women

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Literal definition of spyware:

Also From Microsoft’s own FAQ: "Note that Recall does not perform content moderation. It will not hide information such as passwords or financial account numbers. 🤡

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one time when I was a barista I was telling my coworker that I suddenly really missed cows. I used to work with cows all the time back home and then I moved away and suddenly it had been four years and nary a cow.

15 minutes later this old guy came up to the counter with his address written on a napkin & he said “me and my wife have a whole herd of dexters and a couple of new calves. come on over any time”

so after work I was like ok fuck it & I drove to the address and I parked at at the gate & I walked down the driveway to the barn and this woman was like “oh my husband told me you might stop by! come see our cows” and she introduced me to every single cow. made my whole week.

thank you cow couple

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middle eastern filmmakers should retaliate and use ukrainian choir for scenes taking place in london. polka for the greek isles. fuck it

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contender for stupidest fucking line in sonic history

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True freedom.

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me teaching my pet vampire how to adapt to human society