reginaldqueribundus

[reginaldqueribundus]

what if ds9 had tumble

capsisko

the wormhole :) 

i-identify-starships-in-posts follow

klingon bird of prey, cloaked.

capsisko

?

(2373 notes)

skrainfanboy5997notdukat follow

Gul Dukat did nothing wrong.

wormzallday

f

juuuuulian

u

(9208 notes)

miles-edward-obrien

I thought I had work today, but no, the time loop.

(0 notes)

ziyart 

STATUS UPDATE, I WON THE ART COMPETITION! 

#THERE WAS NO ONE ELSE IN THE COMPETITION!

(9 notes)

kiranerys

If another thing breaks on this station i swear to the prophets

kiranerys 

the replicator just sent someone to the infirmary. our doctor is running on negative 60 hours of sleep at least

kiranerys

i just want a raktajino

kiranerys

@miles-edward-obrien get your ass in here

(23 notes)

sponsored 

come to quarks, quarks is fun, come right now, don’t walk, run!

miles-edward-obrien

I thought I had work today, but no, the time loop.

(0 notes)

juuuuulian

no sleep for 55 hours and counting!

juuuuulian

56 hours and counting!

juuuuulian

57 hours!

juuuuulian

where is miles

wormzallday

julian please

(7 notes)

n0gg

ah yes. me. my bestie. and his 50k word fanfic draft.

jakeosaurus

YOU asked ME if you could beta

n0gg

its funnier if i blame you

#lol

(93 notes)

juuuuulian

no sleep for 55 hours and counting!

juuuuulian

56 hours and counting!

juuuuulian

57 hours!

juuuuulian

where is miles

(7 notes)

ziyart

MY FRIENDS TOLD ME I CAN TYPE IN ALL CAPS!

# IM NEVER GOING TO TALK IN LOWERCASE EVER AGAIN!

(3 notes)

miles-edward-obrien

I thought I had work today, but no, the time loop.

(0 notes)

garaksclothiers

So many accusations in my inbox! You people certainly are creative.

odododo

I know you’ve killed before. You’ve barely tried to hide it

garaksclothiers

Oh? You hate me and my whimsy?

odododo 

I’m going to make a callout document on you.

(12 notes)

jakeosaurus

if the voles had subspace i think it would look like this

skittering-002

i love being in conduits undisturbed

pittering-pattering follow

I CAST PLASMA BEAM 10000 DEATHS

skittering-002

AHHHHH

(201 tiny notes)

the-scuttler

scuttling

the scuttler

easy website

(10032 tiny notes)

n0gg

the station is under attack stop vole blogging

jakeosaurus

do you think skittering-002 and pittering-pattering were in love

(38 notes)

deepspacenineofficial

Apologies for the high pitched whining! Our shields are activated, we are currently under attack. There is also an ion storm passing through.

miles-edward-obrien

If I get stuck in a time vortex again I swear to god

miles-edward-obrien

FUCK

(203 notes)

deepspacenineofficial

Apologies for the high pitched whining! Our shields are activated, we are currently under attack. There is also an ion storm passing through.

miles-edward-obrien

If I get stuck in a time vortex again I swear to god

(203 notes)

jakeosaurus

if the voles had subspace i think it would look like this

skittering-002

i love being in conduits undisturbed

pittering-pattering follow

I CAST PLASMA BEAM 10000 DEATHS

skittering-002

AHHHHH

(201 tiny notes)

the-scuttler

scuttling

the scuttler

easy website

(10032 tiny notes)

(38 notes)

n0gg

wormzallday

i really wish women were real

(1348 notes)

kiranerys

guldukat follow

#YES

(1024766 notes)

[reginaldqueribundus]

too much monogamy in fandom in general

[reginaldqueribundus]

[reginaldqueribundus]

so bECAUSE OF THE UPDATE I WENT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING AT 12AM SO NATURALLY SOMEONE THOUGHT I WAS BEING MURDERED AND CALLED THE POLICE AND WHEN THEY GOT HERE I HAD TO GIVE THEM MY EXPLANATION FOR SCREAMING AT 12AM SO I JUST SAID HOMESTUCK AND ONE OF THE COPS EYES SUDDENLY GOT REALLY BIG AND THEN HE SAID “IT UPDATED??!?” AND THEN HE READ THE UPDATE ON HIS PHONE I HAVE A GROWN POLICE MAN SITTING IN MY DRIVEWAY CRYING AND CURSING AT HUSSIE UNDER HIS BREATH HIS PARTER GAVE HIM A SHOCK BLANKET OH MY GOD 

[reginaldqueribundus]

the current state of the flock

so my fiancee is looking at getting a pygmy goat named Wilbur

so some background if you did not know. she had two goats raised from babies: Fabio and Jenkins. Jenkins was a realy asshole who would beat the shit out of his mom and Fabio but then he got brain damage and became very nice and Fabio started beating the shit out of him. i had to escort him into the barn every night like a red carpet celebrity because Fabio's fat ass would lie in wait to ambush him and slam him into the wall.

tragically jenky passed away just under 2 years ago and Fabio was inconsolable. couldn't even let him out of the barn for long because he would climb over the fence (and nearly break his neck doing so, because he is 11 years old and very fat) or just pace around crying. he is a herd animal after all.

so that was how we ended up with Oedipus, our llama. he came by his name honestly, his previous owners sold him to us for a song because he wouldn't stop trying to fuck his mom and kill his dad. he bonded with Fabs pretty quickly and hey, llamas make excellent guard animals.

Fabio, for his part, now that he had a companion, albeit a very strange-looking one twice his height, finally calmed the fuck down and we could stop worrying. for a while anyway.

see Eddie was used to guarding an entire herd. with a herd of one, well, all that energy had to go somewhere and soon he was haranguing Fabs, trying to herd his fat ass away from threats that didn't exist. this might have been fine if Fabs was a less ornery, much smaller goat. but woe, he is as stubborn as the third hippo on noah's gangplank and nearly as heavy, and his daily itinerary consists of eating all the food he can reach and then lying down in the sun for 6 hours. so before he died of a heart attack or got all the fur chewed off his ass. we decided it was time to expand the herd again

and that is how Reginald came into our lives. Reginald is an alpaca, a bit older than Eddie (but not nearly as old as Fabio), and has apparently won awards, though you would never know it from looking at him. unlike most of our beasties he is not a rescue, he just looks like he needs rescuing. this whiny, oddly spiderlike thing with the bangs of Sam the Sheepdog from Looney Tunes, who skitters everywhere like he's wearing wet socks, emitting the pitiful mewling sounds of a baby that is somehow 100 years old. this poor bastard had never seen a goat in his life, and was suddenly plunked onto an acreage with one, and its overprotective guardian who was much bigger than him, and would violently tackle him every time he tried to sound the alarm about the, y'know, smelly horned alien thing constantly staring at him. I've said this before but imagine you moved into a new apartment, but your roommate is a 6'10" pro wrestler, and then a fucking gray alien walks out of the other bedroom. and you go “jesus christ what the fuck is that??” and the wrestler says “that is our ROOMMATE and you will treat him with RESPECT” and starts beating the shit out of you.

so this was poor Reggie's life for the first month or so: squealing like Geddy Lee with his scrotum caught in a laundry mangle, while a furious llama chases him in figure eights around the hay bales and I completely fail to blast Yakety Sax from a loudspeaker. and Fabio was left to his own devices, Reggie having removed all of Eddie's frustration and hostility in the same way a lint roller removes pet hair from a garment, by absorbing it all onto himself.

they eventually reached an understanding, whereby Eddie only chases Reggie down and tries to bite his ass if they run out of water, and Reggie casually steals Eddie's food while Eddie stands around spitting and groaning and acting very offended while not actually doing anything about it. ok. granted, neither of them will enter the barn but they're happy and healthy and if a coyote shows up the two of them will kick it to death. even if their dumb asses insist on sitting next to the hay bales and getting covered in snow rather than go in the nice shelter we built. it's fun coming home from work and seeing them over there, staring at me like two white boomer women trying to figure out if I'm shoplifting.

yet. this was not the only change in Eddie's attitude towards Fabio. he caught FEELINGS. feelings of a ROMANTICAL sort. feelings which he then attempted to CONSUMMATE. SEXUALLY. until we had to SPRAY HIM WITH THE HOSE to make him STOP. whereupon Fabio calmly took a SHIT. (Fabs was remarkably unbothered by this entire ordeal, but 300 lbs of horned up llama is a lot to ask of an elderly goat's knee joints.) Fortunately the sexual component of their relationship has ended since Eddie's balls have been removed, but castration has done nothing to lessen his devotion to his much shorter, older, fatter boyfriend. it's like I have an olympic weightlifter living in my yard, and he is dating Danny DeVito. and together, they are bullying… Michael Cera.

yes. Reginald has Michael Cera energy. he looks like Jake Paul got caught in a hurricane while wearing a fur coat, but he skitters around the yard muttering to himself while his roommate's obese geriatric boytoy gleefully oppresses him at every opportunity, knowing Reginald won't dare retaliate because the big fluffy simp will come gallumphing over, ears long lost to frostbite two owners ago but the stubs still folded straight back, and kick his ass. banished he is, to the far side of the hay bale whilst Oedipus fawns over his gassy, surly trophy husband, until Fabio decides he wants to eat hay from the other side of the bale now, whereupon Reggie slinks away to a safe distance as if there's an invisible forcefield. sometimes Fabio will just trot straight at him, gleefully tossing his horns as if to say "hey I'm just moving my head and if you get caught on these things it's not MY fault”. wielding his diplomatic immunity like a club.

and now. now we have Wilbur joining our family. Wilbur is a pygmy goat, 1/4 Fabio's size and only 2 years old. perhaps Reggie will finally share his space with someone who doesn't treat him with disgust and contempt. sure, I'd have to live in a world where we bought an emotional support goat for our other goat's emotional support llama's emotional support alpaca, which is starting to sound like that poem about the old woman swallowing a fly. but maybe Reginald will get himself a young twink boyfriend. Danny DeVito, say hello to Timothee Chalamet. then again maybe not. I honestly can't decide which would be funnier: Reginald getting his own goat boyfriend who is the polar opposite of Fabio in every way, or Oedipus triumphantly adding another goat to his harem and Reginald is condemned forever to nonstop workplace harassment by pointy little gnomes who gleefully threaten him with sharp objects, while Eddie looms menacingly behind them.

[reginaldqueribundus]

Mr Jibbs they could never make me hate you

[reginaldqueribundus]

Israel & Iran, approximate radius of longest-range ballistic missiles in operation, 2024

[reginaldqueribundus]

my fiancee and my sister were at the march for the murdered residential school children a few years ago (I had been there but had to leave in the middle for a doctor's appointment) and the cops started arresting some guy who wasn't bothering anyone, for the crime of being indigenous in public and (possibly) being mildly intoxicated. the crowd lost their minds and surrounded the cops and generally freaked out at them until they let this guy go.

make cops fear for their lives until they do what you want

And none of these people are willing to do more than record it on their cell phones. It's your duty to unarrest someone if you see them getting arrested. Be fucking brave, please.

[reginaldqueribundus]

Has anyone else done this yet.

[reginaldqueribundus]

Hi it seems like you made a post but forgot to make it about me?

[reginaldqueribundus]

New Star Trek spinoff idea: This

[reginaldqueribundus]

remember when Davy Jones got stuck in a time loop and he thought the way to fix it was by crashing through the window of a starbucks every morning to find depressed barista Will Turner in there and propose his love to him but then he'd get run over by a rogue tesla and restart but then he realized the key to getting out of the time loop was actually apologizing to Calypso for being a dick.

[reginaldqueribundus]

your pussy and your crack? in this economy?

[reginaldqueribundus]

bringin this round again!

Aries: unplugged lava lamp

Taurus: droopy Christmas cactus with blue pinwheel stuck in the pot

Gemini: colourful game credit wristband from The Rec Room (basically adult Chuck E. Cheese) with no credits on it

Cancer: 3-inch wide starfish stress squeezer with genuinely disturbing expression, purchased for 20 prize tickets at The Rec Room

Leo: empty Temptations™ cat treats container containing leftover bookshelf hardware

Virgo: single sheet of white 8.5x11 paper bearing crude drawings of a bus and a tree and the numbers 3, 2, 16 and 8

Libra: a stapler

Scorpio: Samsung A15 smartphone with dead battery and shattered camera lens

Sagittarius: plastic jar xmas ornament labelled “2017” containing miniature ketchup bottle, plastic pig and tiny paint-splattered jogger figurine

Capricorn: intersex-inclusive progressive pride flag pin

Aquarius: tattered paperback copy of The Leopard Hunts in Darkness by Wilbur Smith

Pisces: plastic cylinder containing various cable organizers from Temu, a lanyard from my former employer, miniature felt witch hats, plastic animals, toy goats and a tiny red backpack

The Signs as Things I Have On My Desk

Aries: croudfund-reward-exclusive figurine of Raz from Psychonauts 2

Taurus: plastic toy goomba

Gemini: copy of Michal Guy Bowman’s latest CD

Cancer: bottle of bubble-blowing liquid

Leo: figure of domo-kun

Virgo: Enderman plushie with a pink ribbon tied around its neck

Libra: rubbery stress toy in the shape of a teal t-rex

Scorpio: steam controller

Sagittarius: jar of no sugar added chocolate covered caramels

Capricorn: brown lipstick

Aquarius: shiny chrome blue nail polish

Pisces: little rubbery figurine of Twilight Sparkle as a sea pony

[reginaldqueribundus]

[fellowship of the ring voice] you have my neck. and my back. and my pussy. and my crack!

[reginaldqueribundus]

their polyamorous swag

[reginaldqueribundus]

Your first pride story was touching and all but you still married a man.

Yeah, bisexuals do that sometimes.