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[reidoulaa]

Everything will be okay

Pairing: dad!reid x daughter!reader

Summary: After Emily died Y/N had a hard time dealing with it. Her behavior had changed so Spencer decided to talk to her to find out why. He never imagined the conversation that followed.

Characters: Spencer Reid, Y/N Reid, mentions of the team, a little JJ, mentions of Emily Prentiss

Warnings: angst, some swearing and fighting,

Author’s note: I wrote this like 3 years ago and I decided to post it because why not:)I have taken I think two phrases from another fanfiction but I really can’t find it. also english isn’t my first language<3

Word count: 1,5K

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“She never made it off the table” JJ said. These seven words were enough to break the team. Morgan had to be strong and hugged Garcia who was crying. Rossi and Seaver couldn’t believe it. Hotch was sad from the decision he had to make which would affect the whole team but it was the right thing to do. JJ was tearing up and Reid tried to walk away.

“Spence…” JJ said.

“I didn’t have the chance to say goodbye” he said.

“Come here” And then JJ hugged Spencer who cried in her arms.

Lastly, was Y/N who was trying to process the information. Y/N and Emily were close, really close. Emily was like a mother to Y/N as her mother had died many years ago. She was also her best friend and Y/N trusted her with her life.

Y/N wanted to cry but she wanted her personal space to be vulnerable so she excused herself and went to the bathroom. As soon as she closed the door behind her all the emotions came to the surface. Anger about Doyle, guilt because she wasn’t able to help her, not that she could do anything as she was only 15 years old but still, and lastly pain. Pain was an emotion she had felt many times, when her mother died and every time Spencer was hurt. She fell to the floor with her back at the wall.

She was crying for almost 20 minutes which exhausted her and she didn’t notice that JJ had come in. JJ had to touch her shoulder to draw her attention.

“Shh…come here” JJ said and Y/N obliged. As she hugged her, Y/N started crying even harder to the point she couldn’t catch her breath. JJ was trying to calm her down but didn’t succeed it.

“Please Y/N, breath…you’re hyperventilating right now” JJ panicked.

“I…I can’t, I can’t…” Y/N was ready to pass out so JJ texted Spencer to come and help her.

As soon as Spencer read the text, he went immediately to the bathroom. When he opened the door the scene broke his heart even more. He saw a scared JJ holding a crying Y/N. He ran to JJ and took his daughter and held her in his chest.

“Can you get out please? We’ll be out in a sec” Spencer asked JJ who nodded and got out.

“Please listen to my breathing and feel my heartbeat Y/N. I’m here…Shh…” Y/N tried to match her breathing with his and she tried to focus to his heartbeat.

After 10 minutes her loud sobs became silent tears and her breathing had returned back to normal. That’s when they went back to the waiting room and found the others. Nobody spoke as they didn’t know what to say or how they are going to deal with this. They all returned home and Y/N went straight to her bedroom. She started crying again as soon as her head fell on the pillow. She cried until she fell asleep.

-7 months time skip-

Spencer was really concerned about Y/N as she was acting weird lately. She had some outbursts at school and at home. So he decided to tell her to come to the BAU and talk about it.

And there they were, sitting in the break room waiting for the other to talk. “Are you going to explain why are you acting weird lately?”, Spencer said. Y/N stayed quiet and didn’t make eye contact. Spencer was trying to make her open up but he was failing miserably.

“I know I have been working a lot the last couple of weeks but I don’t think that’s the only reason, right?”. Y/N just crossed her hands and looked at him. “ Please talk to me”, Spencer begged his daughter.

Y/N tried to speak calmly but didn’t succeed it. “I’m literally an open book and you are a fucking profiler and genius so try to figure out what the fuck is wrong”. She was on the verge of tears.

“What are you trying to say? And mind your language!”

“Think why I’m acting weird. What may have happened?”

“I don’t know. Something at school?”, Spencer tried to think as hard as he could.

“Not even close. If you don’t understand it that means you don’t know what the fuck I’m going through”. Y/N finally let some tears fall.

“Come on, drop the attitude and just tell me. You are never like this. You were always sweet and caring”

“Oh really? Do I? And for your information, people change and turn heartless when they once cared too much so yes, I fucking changed!”

After that, they both stayed quiet for a couple of minutes. Spencer was thinking ways to approach her. He was a genius when it came to history, crimes or statistics but he had no idea what to do. On the other hand, Y/N wasn’t trusting her voice anymore so she stayed quiet, taking deep breaths.

“Okay…I know I have been distant lately but since Emily died…”

“I know and that’s the problem, dad. You aren’t the only one who’s grieving Emily’s death. Em and I were close too. She was like my sister and my best friend. Some things I’ve told Emily, I haven’t told them to my best friends from school because I don’t trust them as much as I trusted her. I lost a friend too. The only difference between you and me is that you have the team and I have to deal with it alone and as you can see I’ve failed terribly at doing so”. Her voice cracked at the end of the sentence.

Spencer couldn’t believe it. He was so into his own grief that he didn’t see that his daughter was struggling and that had a huge effect in her life. Sure the team was devastated but at least they had one another. Y/N was alone and she didn’t say a word.

“Do you want to discuss it? I’m worried about your mental health.”

Y/N decided that it was time to open up and explain what have happened the last 7 months. “When Emily died I was really sad, I think you remember that day…I still am. I can’t focus on something more than twenty minutes without thinking about her. Sometimes at school I had to ask to go to the bathroom because I wanted to cry but soon they stopped letting me go because they said I was going too much so I was staying in class tearing up , saying it was an allergy.”

Y/N stopped to take a deep breath to hold back the more tears that were threating to fall and continue. “Finally, I can’t sleep at night. For the past 7 months I have breakdowns almost every night and I cry myself to sleep. Some of the times I…I almost fainted because I was hyperventilating so bad.” Y/N let all her feelings out and started crying.

Spencer had been speechless and couldn’t understand how he missed the signs. He came closer to Y/N and hugged her. She let herself into her dad’s hug that provided her a sense of comfort.

“I’m sorry for being such a bad dad lately. I’m so so sorry, baby…” Spencer had tears in his eyes as well.

“It…it’s okay. I know that you had your own problems. I…I just miss her so fucking much dad…”

“I know babe…I know. I miss her too.”

That was the last thing Y/N said before having another breakdown in front of her dad but she didn’t care. She knew he was the one person he could probably help her through it.

After almost fifteen minutes Spencer managed to calm her down and they decided to go home. When they got out of the room the whole team was gathered and looked at them worried as they all cared for Y/N as their own child. Spencer made a signal to be quiet and they headed home.

It wasn’t too late but they both were tired, especially Y/N so she went straight to bed. Spencer went to kiss her for good night.

“Tomorrow I’ll stay home and we’ll talk about it, okay?” Y/N nodded. “Everything will be fine. Goodnight, baby, i love you so much.” Spencer said and got out of the room closing the door behind him.

“Goodnight, dad. I love you too” Y/N said before falling asleep.

Spencer smiled and went to his room thinking of ways to make the most important person in his life feel better.

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“Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.” -John Lennon

Part 2 with Emily’s return?