remembersoforgettingseem - Tumblr blog

[remembersoforgettingseem]

[remembersoforgettingseem]

[remembersoforgettingseem]

[remembersoforgettingseem]

Minha droga

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on back: i believe in reincarnation of the soul after the death of the body. i feel excitement towards death. it’s going to be an adventure.

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fun story I first became obsessed with the harry potter series and hermione in particular in yr 3 of primary school and I decided I wanted to be like hermione in every way so I started reading *lots* and working super hard in school, got a reputation for bookishness and being the smart kid that I kept up into high school and lol here I am graduating in a few weeks from Cambridge all bc I adored this clever bookworm in a children’s book series and absorbed her into my personality as a child like ???

basically long story short female role models in kids media are EVERYTHING

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Or maybe it’s fucked up to make someone feel that way when you had every opportunity to be honest along the way?

You’re all hypocrites. You want to talk about how important mental health is and how it affects you, but the moment it shows up in someone who annoys you or you no longer care about, that person is officially “fucked up.”

A person with mental health issues can be free to vent without forcing themselves on other people, or pressuring them, or threatening them.

Feeling bad is part of many different mental health conditions and disorders. Suicidal thoughts and feelings come along with that.

You don’t get to tell someone you couldn’t care less if they jumped off a bridge, and at the same time talk about how important it is to remove the stigma around mental health.

It doesn’t even matter if it’s about me or some other person you have found excuses to shit-talk. That kind of attitude towards mental health issues is going to push someone away that actually needs someone.

Coming from three people who ALL have pretty serious mental health issues and have ALL expressed suicidal feelings on more than one occasion, I’d imagine you would try harder to avoid making people feel like shit on purpose.

No one says you have to coddle people or save them, but you don’t have to be outright dicks to people who need help.

Also, coming from the asshole who still lives with his parents, doesn’t have his shit together, couldn’t make it through school, and spent the entirety of a relationship lying, being selfish, being a coward, yelling, and being generally terrible to his S/O: you have some nerve to be commenting on a thread about suicide when you know full well that you have purposely treated a person like garbage and made them feel like less than human.

Ultimately, it is difficult to assign blame in the case of suicide. It is easier to say it was no one’s fault. But you also don’t get to clean your slate when you have actively taken part in calling someone names or emotionally abusing them.

You were a much better person for the first 6 months after your friend died. I really thought you had grown up and matured and felt genuinely sorry for being an asshole. I guess I was wrong. How many midlife crises will it take for you to stop being shitty to other people?

The thing is, it doesn’t matter who comes to mind when you talk about shit like that. It matters that you could potentially be hurting someone in your life that you don’t even know needs help when you talk shit the way you’re doing.

Someone in your life read that and felt shitty as fuck, and will likely refuse to talk to anyone because they will feel judged.

Hold your grudges and continue to be petty. If you want to continue holding yourselves back in the negativity all of you live in, it’s your lives. But you don’t have to take other people down with you, so at the very least, be more conscious about how your words may be affecting someone directly or indirectly in a way that is harmful to them. Not everyone fighting a mental health issue can be strong 100% of the time, or even 10% for that matter. Your words affect people.

One day you will hurt someone that actually matters to you, and you won’t be able to excuse it away or shit-talk them to absolve yourself of any blame.

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I haven't replied because you won't listen. You act like you are the only person hurt in this, but you refuse to acknowledge all of the pain you caused. I can't keep having my words fall on deaf ears. Believe what you want. Refuse to listen, acknowledge, and accept. Let's keep pretending that you didn't make up your mind based on what someone else said (or are you going to tell me that you only found the proof recently and you haven't been talking about me for months?) Believing what someone else says or shows you without confronting another person still falls under the same category. We've all been guilty of it at one time or another. In your first message, you refused to acknowledge anything I said. You even went as far as to say that you didn't want to be friends because of x,y,z. So, if I had not reached out to you, you would have continued on in your path of silence, ignoring me and talking about me with the others? When you first heard or read the claims made against me, did you bother to approach me? To ask me face to face? At times when you haven't liked someone else's significant other, have you been honest every single time? Like in the case of your soon to be sister-in-law? In my case, when I was in a toxic relationship with someone who was making me unhappy? The answer is no. So, didn't you in fact believe the words (or whatever evidence they provided) of someone else for weeks, possibly months, before you actually let me know what had been going on? I am not trying to make something right by pointing out your wrong. But I still have no knowledge of what words I've been accused of saying and how much of that is true. I gave an apology for hurting feelings the very first time you shared your thoughts with me. I apologized then. I am being asked for a blanket apology for things I still don't even know that I've said. And in all of this, not once has my pain been acknowledged. You are guilt-free. You didn't partake in icing me out of a group of friends which fucked with my mental health. You didn't talk about me behind my back with the same people. You didn't give me dismissive answers every time I asked you if something was wrong. No. You're innocent and free from blame. Stop acting like you care what happens to me when your careless and thoughtless actions, along with your group of friends, caused someone to feel so low. I have been there for each of you in times of greatest need. And you all dropped me like a piece of trash, like I didn't matter, in the middle of one of the worst times of my life. But I'm sure you can justify it because I haven't been participating exceptionally as a friend during this difficult time. I'm sure you can find a justification for why it's fair and deserved to drop me as a friend: such as the fact that I failed in a reaponsibility you gave me. If you're dropping friends because they didn't give you enough things or didnt do what you expected in a materialistic responsibility, then it really isn't worth it to be friends with someone who places the value of their friends on how good they do at their wedding. Nevermind the fact that my family dropped 1k on your party and worked really hard to make it a success. Nevermind the fact that I was there for all of the emergencies, taking care of shit as it came up, that J went out of his way to cook, clean, transport all of the flowers and gifts, transport the chairs and tables. Nevermind that I worked all day to make things happen during the party while still cramping and bleeding from the abortion. Nevermind the details, the little things, and the big things I did. All of that is considered a failure because I failed to plan your bachelorette. If you are measuring success and failure in friendship based on what materialistic things they have done for you, I'm not interested in being your friend. I worked my ass off to give you the best of myself at a time when I was barely surviving. Maybe I didn't have a smile on my face at every second. Maybe I was quiet and distant and struggling to relate. But I was there. I was there when I didn't want to be. I was there when I was exhausted mentally, emotionally, and physically. I was there even with all of my anxiety about the kids and financial troubles related to lawyer fees. Yes, I freaked out about paying for things. Yes, I had anxiety and stress about every single new thing we planned. I had hearings and mediations and doctors appointments to go to with my kids at the same time your outings were planned. I was and am the primary caretaker of the kids in my household and that is not an easy thing or a reaponsibility to be taken lightly. I was tired, exhausted, and drained and freaking out about every new thing that required more energy. And still, I was there. Still showed up and did a great job at some things and an okay job at others. If that is considered failure, I think you need to look inside yourself and think about why you expected perfection from anyone, much less a friend who was going through so much. Maybe you would have had a better time if someone else took over. Maybe they too would have paid for everything and done a better job. But again, if you're looking for what material things a person can bring to the table, I don't want a friend who judges friendships in that way. It sounds pretty spoiled and selfish. Tell yourself whatever lies you have to tell yourself to get rid of any blame. You can pretend to be holier-than-thou but this is just another instance of the pot calling the kettle black.

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There are people who will enter your life that are unsure of their own souls. They will murder, rob and annihilate yours, if you let them. Sometimes who you are, happens to be a deadly reminder of who others will never be.

Treka L. House (via herrekindledsoul)