renxzs - Tumblr blog

renxzs · 2 months ago

Text

Poor Rowan 🥴😅 he tried so hard… but the secondhand cringe I’m feeling is so strong, ahahaha.

It’s always a joy when a works-of-shyvioletcat notification comes across my screen. 🥰

*rises from the ashes (or ocean maybe) for the month of May* If there's one thing that kicks me into gear it's MerMay so here's a little update for you. Hope you like it!

~ Masterlist ~

~~~~~

Rowan didn’t know the last time that he had spent so long in front of the mirror. Maybe it had been his wedding day? He had spent so long staring at his reflection to make sure everything was just so, as he’d been told to. Nowadays, it was just a quick glance in the mornings to make sure his tie matched his shirt and his hair was tidy enough. Funny thing was, all those years ago, he didn’t recall being as nervous as he felt right now. That was absurd, a date didn’t compare to getting married. Thinking back, he ignored the obvious testament that it was to the eventual outcome of his marriage.

He held two ties, one in each hand, swapping them in what felt like a ridiculous dance in front of his collar as he tried to decide which one went better with his shirt. Right, then left, green or blue, Rowan couldn’t choose. Behind him humming started to the tune of I’m a Little Teapot. His eyes narrowed, but he didn’t stop and instead ignored the baiting coming from the bed behind him. He hadn’t invited an audience and yet here they were.

Ivy was meant to be at her mother’s tonight, but Lyria had something else on and asked last minute if Rowan could keep their daughter over the weekend. Selfishly his immediate concern was whether or not he would have to cancel his date with Aelin. That wasn’t something he was eager to do for a multitude of reasons. Rowan didn’t want to come across as hesitating or unreliable and it had been a while since he had been on a date, let alone with someone he was excited to see. Luckily, Ivy had a myriad of people who had no qualms with dropping everything to spend an evening with her. This time it was Fenrys, but Rowan had a keen suspicion that he was going to regret his hasty text message two days ago because the busybody wouldn’t leave him alone.

“Since when are ties date attire?” Fenrys enquired from where he lay across the bed, a more than usual teasing edge to his voice. “Have you really been out of the game that long? You wear ties to work everyday, give yourself a break.”

“It’s a nice place,” Rowan replied, considering the blue one again.

“Daddy,” Ivy’s sweet voice called to him from where she sat next to Fenrys. “What’s a date?”

Rowan turned to face his daughter, she was wearing one of her favourite dresses, a pink tutu that fanned out around her. After hearing that word multiple times today and her penchant for eavesdropping he was surprised that this was the first time she had asked about it.

“Well, it's when you want to go out and spend time with someone so you can get to know them better,” Rowan explained.

“Among other things,” Fenrys murmured, and Rowan threw his ties at his face. He didn’t need Ivy asking more questions and this conversation getting awkward.

But like the sensible child that she was, she had ignored her uncle and was more interested in fixing her tiara now that she had a view of the mirror. There was another reason Rowan wanted to avoid questions. Aelin the Mermaid was still Ivy’s favourite thing in the whole world and Ivy still fully believed Aelin was a real mermaid. He wasn’t about to break her heart by breaking the illusion. What if the little glimpse of chemistry between him and Aelin fizzled out to nothing? What if after spending an evening together they discovered they weren’t compatible and he could never take Ivy to the aquarium again? Rowan was cynical enough not to rule out failure as a possibility. The truth was he had been out of the dating game for a while and his flirting skills were evidently rusty if the last few interactions with Aelin were anything to go by. His brain just seemed to be so consumed by other things and it was hard to take time out for himself. Rowan was feeling a little out of his depth.

And maybe Fenrys was right about the tie.

“I can give you some more tips,” Fenrys added, noticing the ties weren’t being considered anymore.

“No, thank you.”

“But why? I’m full of good ideas,” Fenrys whined.

More like full of shit, Rowan thought to himself. “Because I want to be serious, not make her think I just want to get into her pants.”

“Or tail, in this case,” Fenrys added with a grin which disappeared under one of Rowan’s discarded shirts as it was pegged at his face. Fenrys’ next reply was muffled. “Clam shells then?”

Again, another shirt was thrown, with Fenrys not even trying to defend himself. Rowan had changed three times he was that nervous about tonight.

“Throwing things is not nice, Daddy,” Ivy scolded, then removed the shirts from their target. “Say sorry to Uncle Fen.”

If he hadn’t very conscious about leading by example when it came to things like this Rowan tell Uncle Fen to fuck off instead. “Sorry, Uncle Fen.”

“No worries,” Fenrys said, sitting up. “I know you’re sweating over this. Come on blossom, let’s leave your father to fret himself into an ulcer.”

Ivy took the offer of a piggyback, her arms hugging around Fenrys’ neck. “What’s an ulcer?”

Fenrys chuckled. “I’ll explain over the ice-beam we’ll have for dinner.”

Rowan knew Fenrys was trying to rile him, but he wasn’t going to bite. He had other things to focus on. Like the buzz on his watch that told him if he didn’t stop priming and preening now he’d be late. Looking at the discarded ties Rowan made his final decision to go without, and the off white shirt he had on now would do. He undid the first few buttons now that he was forgoing the tie while he grabbed a navy sports coat from his wardrobe. Aelin was meeting him at the restaurant and he would like to be there before she arrived.

Restaurant on the edges on the city doesn’t know where Aelin lives he lives outside the city

The drive to the edges of the city did nothing to calm Rowan’s nerves. He didn’t know where Aelin lived, and he lived with Ivy in the suburbs so he hoped the restaurant that he had chosen was a happy medium for the both of them. Rowan’s grip was overly tight, making his knuckles feel like they were creaking whenever he had to manoeuvre the wheel. Shoulders, hands and jaw were aching by the time he pulled into the parking lot. There was a high chance that if he didn’t relax Rowan would embarrass himself by overthinking every little thing. It was good that he arrived before Aelin did, he had time to breathe and try and slow down the spirals swirling in his mind.

Rowan considered if he should go in to claim the reservation and wait inside. The place they had decided on was a swanky restaurant on the river, the white walls of the exterior lit by strings of warm, yellow lights. He had requested a table on the deck that overlooked the water and as a breeze blew off the water he wondered if that had been a mistake. Was it too cold of an evening to be outside? What if Aelin didn’t have a jacket? What if the weather turned?

“Gods,” Rowan berated himself. This was not his plan, insteading of calming down he was winding himself right back up.

Logic kicked in, and Rowan decided the reason that he was so antsy about this date was because he cared. He had only met Aelin a few times but there was something there, a pull and he was hopeful it could become something more given the chance. That was still a possibility just as long as he didn’t blow this.

The sound of heels on concrete drew Rowan’s attention and on instinct he turned. It was Aelin and to say she looked stunning was an understatement. She wore a red dress, it sat off her shoulders and hugged her figure until it flared out at the knees. Aelin’s hair was swept to one side in soft waves, and when she shot him a smile it just about knocked the wind out of him. As Rowan watched her approach he had to ask himself how he had managed to swing this and was very grateful that his daughter had begged him for a trip to the aquarium that day.

All he had to do now was not fuck this up.

~~~~~

Aelin couldn’t help but smile as she covered the last bit of distance between her and Rowan. Dazzling a man was always an ego boost and Rowan was standing there looking like a stunned mullet. Lysandra had indeed helped her out with planning her outfit, and it had taken them the better part of an hour to work out the particulars. From the dress to the shoes, make-up and accessories, it was all planned to the finest detail.

Since taking the mermaid job it was like the aesthetic had snuck into every aspect of her life. The dress was a mermaid cut, there were delicate white pearl studs in her ears and a matching bracelet around her wrist. Aelin had left her neck bare, more than happy to leave the off-the-shoulder neckline to be the main event. She smiled to herself as she watched Rowan’s eyes dart around as he took her in.

She had him. Hook, link and sinker.

“Hi,” Aelin sweetly.

“Hi,” Rowan said back. “You look amazing.”

That wasn’t a great date opener, a bit shallow but true, but she’d take it. “Thank you.”

“Shall we?” Rowan offered.

Aelin nodded and Rowan kept a step ahead as they headed to the restaurant. He held the door open for her and sorted the table, and when they got there Rowan tucked in her chair. The manners on this man were impeccable.

“Have you been here before?” Aelin asked and she looked over the menu.

Rowan cleared his throat before he answered. “Yeah, a few times. My mother likes to come here when she visits. Her favourite is the pesto pasta.”

Aelin found it on the menu and reading through the ingredients it did look good. “Was she at the party? I have to admit I didn’t pay much attention to anyone but the kids.”

“She was, Ivy’s their only grandchild so they try not to miss anything,” Rowan explained.

“Only child?” Aelin asked.

“She is.”

The corner of Aelin’s mouth threatened to curl up, it was pretty easy to garner that Ivy was an only child. The extravagant party, the way she drew in and loved all the attention. “I meant you.”

“Oh,” Rowan said and shook his head at himself. “Yes, I am. The only child of an only child. she’s been spoiled from the moment she was born.”

The words were said lightly but there was a hardness to his face at the last second that gave Aelin the impression there was more to it than that. But given the reaction it wasn’t a topic to broach on the first date. The conversation was interrupted anyway by the waiter arriving, they ordered drinks and the young man promised to return in a few minutes to take their food order. With the ultimatum given, Aelin turned her full attention to picking her meal. The pasta did look good and it came recommended, it was a solid and safe choice.

Aelin put down her menu ready to resume conversation, but Rowan was still studying his. It gave her a chance to appreciate him. Both at the aquarium and at the birthday party he had been dressed more casually, tonight Aelin could see the effort that he had made. He wasn’t in a suit, this restaurant didn’t require them. But the jacket was a nice touch and it accentuated the broadness of his shoulders. Rowan was a devastatingly handsome man no matter the setting.

The waiter returned with their drinks and took their order for food, and with the menus taken away it left the table wide open for conversation. It wasn’t flowing, and Aelin tried not to show her uneasiness as she swept her hair so it sat over one shoulder again.

“So, Rowan,” she started, throwing the both of them a lifeline in the form of small talk, “what do you do?”

“I’m a deputy principal at a high school,” he rattled off easily.

On the other hand Aelin was brought up short. She wasn’t very knowledgeable about the teaching profession, but she was pretty sure deputy principal was not an early career move. Obviously Rowan was older than she was, he had a kid and she’d been to his house. He had his shit well and truly figured out. But surely, he couldn’t be that much older than her.

“What?” Rowan asked, like he could read thoughts running through her head.

“I just,” Aelin stopped, trying to figure out a tactful way around this. Sometimes she could be a bit blunt and a little too direct. She leant forward and dropped her voice like that would lessen the awkward impact of what she was about to say. “How old are you?”

If Rowan was taken aback by the question he didn’t show in, in fact he leant in too, like they were sharing a secret. “27.”

“A 27 year old deputy principal? That seems… industrious of you.”

The corner of Rowan’s mouth tilted up just a fraction. “I can thank the teacher shortage for that. And my apparently spectacular leadership skills.”

“That must keep you busy,” Aelin commented. “A lot of paperwork, I presume?”

“That and unnecessary bureaucratic bullshit. I went into teaching to help kids, and some days I feel like I’m just fighting the system so the kids can get what they need,” he explained.

Aelin tilted her head, Rowan’s dedication and passion evident. “They’re some lucky kids then.”

That praise seemed to make Rowan uncomfortable, not openly but there was a definite shift in his demeanour. He sat back and looked around the restaurant, just like that that underlying awkwardness started to seep back in. It seemed inescapable at this point. Aelin knew they had chemistry but also that Rowan had a tendency to stick his foot in it. Like blurting out his marital status and the debacle of getting her tail off. Yet there was something there that made her want to give this a chance. At the very least one date to see if they could carry a normal conversation. So far, it wasn’t looking good.

They continued with other bits of small talk, including the godsdamned weather, until their food arrived. Aelin dove in right away, and Rowan’s mother was right, the pasta was good. Rowan had ordered salmon set on a bed of asparagus. It looked good but Aelin wasn’t a fan of fish unless it was swimming around her in an aquarium. Even then, there were some hit and misses.

“How did you get into mermaiding?” Rowan asked, cutting himself a bite.

Aelin finished her mouthful and then took a sip of her cocktail. “I kind of fell into it. I saw the advertisement and thought ‘what the hell’ and applied. At first I was just a dry mermaid but then I did some training and eventually ended up in the water.”

“How long have you been doing it?”

“Just over two years,” Aelin said.

Rowan glanced up from his plate. “And that’s all you do?”

Aelin’s fork froze mid pasta twirl, Rowan not noticing as he focused back on his food. There was an implication there that Aelin was hoping she was misinterpreting in his tone. Is that all you do made her job sound like it wasn't a real job. And it was something that she was sensitive about. The validity of working as a mermaid had come up in conversation before. Luckily her parents were supportive of everything she did but there had been a casual comment here and there that implied that this wasn’t a full time career. Realistically, it wasn’t, she knew that. Being a mermaid was reliant on her body and her ability to perform, sickness or injury could impact that. But while she could, Aelin would give being a mermaid everything because she loved it.

“It is, I love it and it’s all I need,” Aelin said, not giving him more explanation than that.

Rowan must have heard the hardness in her voice because his head jerked up making Aelin avert her gaze quickly.

“Shit, I just heard how that sounded,” Rowan said, cheeks pinking. “It was just a question, really. I was just curious—making conversation.”

“I really do love it,” Aelin reiterated.

“And you’re amazing at it. I saw how much joy you brought to Ivy’s visit and her party. There’s nothing lacking in that and I’m sorry if my inability to sound polite made you think otherwise.”

Rowan was sincere, that was easy enough to tell. She wasn’t going to hold it against him. “I’m a little sensitive on the subject.”

“Sorry for prodding at it,” he said, just as earnest.

Aelin shrugged a shoulder, shrugging off the unpleasant feeling as well. “You didn’t know, I’ll forgive you. This time.”

“That sounds very threatening,” Rowan said, feeding into the humour Aelin was now trying to infuse into another shambles of a conversation.

“I’ve been told I’m like a vengeful god when it comes to grudges.” It was true, she had.

That made Rowan let out a small chuckle. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

After that things were decidedly less awkward. Not amazing but there was less fumbling from Rowan and threats from Aelin. Conversation strayed away from heavier topics, in particular Aelin wasn’t going near whatever the situation was between Rowan and his ex-wife. She remembered Ivy’s mother who had obviously seemed less than pleased with Aelin’s attendance at the party. She didn’t know why the other woman felt the way she did, but there was a definite vibe there that didn’t give Aelin good feelings. But she did find out that Ivy spent most of her time with Rowan and that she was the apple of his eye. More than once he apologised for bringing her up too much. Aelin told him she didn’t mind, because she really didn’t. Ivy was a major part of his life, hell, Aelin’s own father still loved to gush about her accomplishments every chance he got. Proud dads were a big tick in her book.

Dessert was had and Rowan very graciously paid the bill. All in all, not one of the best first dates Aelin had had, but not the worst by a long shot.

“Can I walk you to your car?” Rowan asked once they were outside.

Aelin smiled up at him. “Sure.”

She led the way, walking down the street to where she had managed to get a car park. Without saying anything the tension was there again. It was a physical thing, tangible between them. When their fingers brushed Aelin wasn’t sure which one of them was the first to link their fingers. The closeness of Rowan and his gentle warmth was almost enough to make her forget most of the clumsy words exchanged over dinner.

All too soon her car came into view, then they were behind it and she stopped. “This is me.”

Rowan moved between the cars to get her door, making Aelin smile at his chivalry. She unlocked the car with the key fob in her purse and Rowan propped the door open a little. Just a little indication that he wasn’t quite ready to let her go.

Facing him with her back to the car Aelin made no move to get in. “Thank you for dinner.”

“It was okay in the end, wasn’t it?” Rowan asked, not hiding the hopefulness in his voice.

Aelin shrugged, ever a menace when the opportunity was there. “I guess so.”

Rowan leant in, just a little. “Do you think you’d let me make it up to you a little bit if I guess so is the best response you can give?”

Heat flushed over her skin, and Aelin was glad that it wasn’t light enough for the visible evidence to be seen. Her heart beat faster in anticipation and she nodded while making sure her voice was firm as she said, “yes.”

Rowan moved forward a little bit more as his hand cupped her cheek. Aelin was trying to keep her breathing as slow and shallow as possible. She wasn't a particularly patient woman, but her date was in control here. Not something she was mad about, she just wasn’t sure how much longer she could wait. When Rowan closed the last of the distance it made Aelin gasp before she melted into the feel of his lips. He angled his mouth over her and—

Things were a little too wet, his movements a little too slow. Aelin tried to help him out but somehow the readjusted angle made it worse. The fireworks fizzled out and it was a full body relief when it was over.

That was a bad kiss, there was no denying it. Aelin wasn’t sure if Rowan had realised just how terrible it was but she wasn’t keen for him to try again and experience a repeat performance. Truly, the man had been too perfect, now the flaws were stacking up and they all had something to do with his mouth. Aelin was done for the night—it needed to be called.

“Thank you, again,” Aelin said, putting her hand on the driver’s door, a subtle hint that she wanted to get into the car.

Rowan opened the door all the way, considerate of her and the car next to her. “It was my pleasure, Aelin.”

With the unpleasantness of that kiss lingering, Aelin tried not to grimace. “Bye, Rowan.”

“Goddnight, Aelin.”

Rowan shut the door and Aelin was quick to start the engine and get out of there. She waited until he was on his way back to his car before she pulled out and thankfully went in the opposite direction. It wasn’t until Aelin was stopped at a red light that she realised that Rowan’s hoodie was still sitting on her passenger seat. The whole premise of her date was sitting just there, mocking her, reminding her there was no chance of a clean break now.

Hopefully Rowan wasn’t overly attached to the item of clothing and he’s just let it go. If she didn't bring it up, neither would her. As Aelin drove back to her apartment the disappointment sunk in. Sure, the date hadn’t been a disaster, but it hadn’t been the night of her life either. And that kiss…

Aelin felt mean as she wiped at her lips in an attempt to get rid of the lingering feeling. Poor guy, he’d tried, so hard. Maybe in the morning once she’d slept on it the situation wouldn’t seem so awkward as it felt right now. Aelin held onto that hope because it seemed that the Rowan she had imagined he’d be had indeed been too good to be true.

~~~~~

You hate me now but you'll love me later *wink*.

Also, I think I've officially lost it with tagging. Turning on notifications for @works-of-shyvioletcat is probably the best way to stay up to date but I'm happy to restart a tag list too. Just let me know if you want to be added. Love ya x

52 notes · View notes