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man. I already know how this is gonna end. Or at least I think so. I don’t wanna manifest it
#I gave up my mom for this already#I’m trying so hard to be okay with it but I’m not#I’m never gonna ask anyone else to give up on something because I know it hurts#but I don’t#I don’t know what lennie wants#I assume itbhurtsball the same#but they love their sister and they want them to be happy#letting everyone else sacrifice their relationships is the easy way out right#what I have to do is mud h harder#it’s about doing the right thing#but it’s not a decsivion I can make alone#I really don’t want to#last time#I let go of one of the things I wanted the most#one of the things I begged and pleaded for everyday since I was a child#and despite it hurting I never regretted my desicions#I still don’t#idk why it feels like my responsibility#but everybody knows the problem is me#I love her so much. i sometimes feel like my life actually started the moment I met her#but#that’s not unique to me#it’s not just my life. it’s not just my decision#it feels like I have to just. sacrifice but I don’t want to#I know if lennie did it and made up their mind without talkin to me it would hurt so much#but. I don’t want them to have to even think about making the desicion#or maybe I’m selfish and don’t want to see what happens if they have to choose#did it hurt when I didn’t choose him? does he know I still miss him#this isn’t just about me. I don’t want lennie or rob to feel like they have to do something they don’t want#and shit I might not have a choice this time
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hi xiomara!!
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this always fucking happens
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what do u do when u want someone to be happy, but you don’t think you can make them happy anymore
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so I won’t. i will be mkind to myself n offer myself the same patience I give to others
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my friends love and care abt me, they wouldn’t want me to hurt myself
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i wish I could have a chose a better day to have a mental health crisis!!!
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hi xiomara :)
#i hope ppl are t giving lennie shit over the shawnangela stuff#i feel like they are#cause we’ll :)#*well#but I hope they’re not#I’m not very happy today#and I think it’s silv#mostly#and I’ve felt like crying all day#i cried myself to sleep last night#and I don’t know why#i feel like something bads abut to happen#but what’s worse is#i feel like I’m gonna do something#lmao#it doesn’t help that everytime we walk we think abt our attempt#but we don’t wanna mention it#but it’s very strong thought in our mind lol
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