resowrites

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Finrod 🐺

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Gil Galad 👑

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Elrond 🧝‍♂️

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Illumë - Part 5 (ROP series).

Summary: A Noldorin elfs desperate situation draws the newly awakened Annatar back into her acquaintaince. In return for his help - and her freedom - he demands a price she’s reluctant to pay. With a final task to complete, she has the choice of falling at last to Annatar’s machinations, or finding hope for both herself and the rest of Middle-earth.

Pairings: AU!Annatar, OC!female elf, AU!Maedhros.

Warnings: Dark themes, forced captivity, coercion, manipulation, angst, ambiguity, character death/suicide, sword fight, mentions of threats/bodily harm/injury/blood, dialogue heavy, hastily written/lightly proofread.

WC: 3473

A/N: Hi folks, I hope you enjoy this last chapter, admittedly it’s a bit rushed due to time constraints but I’ve really enjoyed creating this little series. It’s helped me get back into the swing of writing and I hope to post more Middle-earth fics in the future. As ever, this isn’t really ROP/canon based (though it can be read as a rough ROP prequel). Some knowledge of the lore is still required. Thanks again for all the interactions and if you have any thoughts, let me know - R x

My work must not be copied, reposted, or translated elsewhere. Original gifs/pics not my own, no copyright infringement intended. Thanks for visiting.

Illumë - Part 5 (final chapter).

"Please won't you reconsider?" He looked up from the pack he was filling with odds and ends.

"My mind is made up, Andaeriel."

"But you won't even tell me for how long--"

"Because it's impossible! Do you wish me to lie and say otherwise?"

"I wish only for you to stay and marry me like you promised..." He sighed and came to her side, taking her hands in his.

"We will be married--"

"For you to then depart? For who knows how long?!"

"But I wish for you to join me! I have been begging for weeks and you can give me no good reason against it--"

"Because our life is here, why would you turn your back on everything we have built together?"

"So instead you would have me abandon my father in his time of need?" 

"Your father has gone mad, Maedhros! You know it as well as I do. No good will come from this ridiculous quest which I fear you also know."

"The jewels are his greatest creation, Andaeriel. He has every right to reclaim them--"

"But not at the expense of his own family! You know not the present state of Middle-earth, you could be walking into a trap--"

"I have no choice. If I let my brothers go alone who knows the havoc they might wreak." She stroked his cheek, cupping his face.

"But it isn't your concern, my love. You have no obligation to them--"

"Of course I do. They are my family."

"As am I. Your mother refuses to go, nor will she permit Amrod and Amras."

"My mother's choices are her own, as are those of my brothers. But I would ask that you not abandon me, not at such a time as this--"

"It is you who abandons me! When I wanted to journey to Middle-earth all those years ago, you refused to join me. You said it was too dangerous, yet now you would walk straight into Morgoth's lair!"

"Which is why I need your support! Please come with me, Andaeriel. There we could even have a land of our own--"

"Until you are slain? For that is what will happen. Morgoth will not relinquish the jewels freely. I fear that sooner or later you will all be lost..."

"I won't allow that to happen."

"Yet you would risk it all the same. Do you not love me, Maedhros? For surely if you did, you wouldn't leave me nor put me in such danger..." He drew her into his arms.

"I will love you until the end of everything, and I would never let you come to harm--"

"Yet still you would leave me."

"Please understand that it isn't my decision--" she pulled away.

"I'm sorry Maedhros, but... if you follow Fëanor our relationship is ended." 

"... You can't mean that?" She handed him back her silver betrothal ring.

"You've broken my heart. But then so too would the outcome of this folly."

"How can you do this?! It is you who has gone mad! We are one��Andaeriel, you can no sooner leave me than I you." She smiled sadly. "What, what is it?"

"I will never hear that name again." She turned and sped from his sight.

"Please, please don't do this. ANDAERIEL--"

***

"On your feet." The chamber door burst open so quickly that she jumped from her seat.

"What is it? Why are you back so soon?" He soon cornered her, his face mere inches from her own.

"You warned Lindon of my arrival."

"What are you talking about--"

"As a result, I'm barred from that land, and the only opportunity I had to influence the High King and his people is now lost." He threw her to the floor with such violence the air was knocked from her lungs. "What do you have to say for your treachery?"

"I-I'm no... traitor--"

"No? Because I happened to intercept this letter not long into my journey." They locked eyes before he pulled from his skirts a small sheet of paper. "'Elrond, you will recall that when last we spoke I warned our enemy could make his presence known via stealth. I'm now writing to warn you that a visitor by the name of Annatar will soon desire entry into Lindon. Ask not how I came to be aware of it, but this is our enemy in disguise. What the High King decides to do is his choice, but I would counsel you to bid him welcome and write to me again once he is settled. Together we might then ambush him and remove his wicked presence from our lands once and for all. Yours in friendship, Ellethwen.'" He crumpled the note into a ball and tossed it to the floor. "You promised me your allegiance. Why now have you gone back on your word?" Still struggling for breath, she clambered to her feet. 

"Because they are my friends--"

"You said you no longer had any. Now I find that you conspire not only to ruin my plans but to destroy me!"

"So you expected to walk freely into the most highly guarded cities in all of Middle-earth? I told you they wouldn't be fooled, and besides my letter never reached them--"

"Yet you put them on alert. You told them I might come to them disguised--"

"All I said is that you wouldn't attack openly, which is again obvious--" he lunged towards her and wrapped a hand around her throat.

"The point is you intended to betray me. Is it that you now wish to live after all? ANSWER ME." He released her only when it became clear she wouldn't speak until he did so.

"My wishes haven't changed. But I can't let you hurt the people who care about me."

"You said you cared not for whatever happened in Middle-earth."

"Yes, and I thought so too, but after seeing them again I remembered all they have done and continue to do for me. I can't just cast that aside!"

"You lie once again. You can't even recall the last time you walked in the halls of the High Kings. It is the Valar who commanded you to help them, for if you don't you will never see the blessed realm again."

"That's not true--" again he stuck his face in hers.

"Cease your lies, we both know that is why you were returned in the first place. You are to try and stop me by any means possible. Tell me now why I shouldn't burn you where you stand!" A small, sinister smile curled his lips. "That gives me a better idea..." He grabbed her by the wrist and marched her across the room. Together they passed through the chamber door and found themselves atop a high peak of what appeared to be a mountain range. Directly in front lay a deep trench of oozing magma. The heat and fumes stifled the already thin air and made it almost impossible to breathe. He threw her forward, and she was lucky not to stumble onto the scalding ground. Already she felt it burning into the soles of her feet. 

"Where have you brought me?" A fierce wind picked up and she struggled to pull her hair from her eyes. 

"We are at the top of Thangorodrim's main peak."

"Thangorodrim?" A pit opened in her stomach. "But it was destroyed long ago... why would you show me such a place?"

"Oh, I think you can already guess. It seemed a fitting punishment to show you where your beloved Maedhros met his end." 

"You're a monster." 

"I haven't finished." He nodded his head towards the pit and through the vapours rising from the lake of fire, she could see the rough outline of a figure. When she could finally make out who it was, she dashed forward, only for Annatar to hold her in place. "You are to stand here and watch--"

"Let me go! Maedhros, it's alright, I'm here..." But the spectre didn't look up. He had instead fallen to his knees, as though he carried something of great weight. It was then that she saw the light glowing from his hands. Rage coursed through her, and with renewed strength, she tried to force herself from Annatar's grip. "Give it up! He can't see or hear you." Suddenly she heard a loud voice and felt her heart rent anew.

"Oh, Andaeriel... you were right. What a fool I've become!" Letting the stone fall to his side, he covered his face and wept. And she cried too. Whether this was a mere dream or something closer in reality, she wished for nothing more than to wrap her arms around him. "Everything is gone from me, but my love for you. Oh, how I wish you were here! You would curse me for a fool but still, I would beg your forgiveness. I'm sorry, meleth nîn. But I will make everything right. Neither this cursed rock nor Maedhros, firstborn of Fëanor, will trouble these lands again!" Staggering upwards he grabbed the stone once more, and howling at the misery of its touch, allowed both he and it to fall headlong into the pit. She screamed. Though he tried to keep her standing, her legs gave way and she fell to a sobbing heap. Even Annatar was taken back by the force of her grief, and the next movement she could feel was him crouching beside her with a cup of water. She grabbed the cup and hurled it over his shoulder. They were back in the chamber though her fury burned hotter than any volcano ever could. She tried seizing his neck only for him to hold her arms against her waist. She then kicked with all her might, and the two tussled to the floor. 

"Easy, easy... calm down. Calm down, Andaeriel!" He was on top of her now, trying desperately to pin her to the floor. But the sound of that name in his mouth enraged her. She spat in his eye, finally causing him to relinquish his grip. She made to follow him but found her limbs were like stone. "So be it, I will keep you locked in your body instead. Don't struggle, you will only make the sensation worse." She cried out, exhausted and anguished beyond anything she had ever felt before. "Now let that be a lesson to you. Cross me again, and you won't be subjected to mere visions--"

"Damn you and your plans, our contract is ended--"

"I say when you are free! And until you are repentant, you won't see the light of day again." To underline his point, he flooded her senses with pain. 

"P-please, please stop--"

"Are you sorry for your actions?" The agony became so unbearable she could feel herself blacking out. "An apology is all it will take for this to end, Andaeriel..."

"Never... I will never..." She lost consciousness before she could finish her sentence. 

***

She awoke thinking that she had somehow been transported back in time. She lay trembling and hot, with a familiar wave of nausea surging through her. But unlike her first few weeks as a prisoner, she wasn't alone. Annatar sat close to her, for once simply dressed, wringing out a wet cloth. His mouth and brow were pinched. "Ah, I'm glad to see you awake. How do you feel?" She stared him down but he refused to meet her gaze and instead continued mopping her forehead. "There now, you will feel better soon. I know you won't eat so I've prepared this for you instead." Before he could even attempt to cup her head she whipped the mug from his hand, dashing it against the floor. "You must stop being so churlish. I'm trying to help you--"

"You are the reason I lie prone like this to start with--"

"Which was your own doing!" He took a breath. "You must understand; I can't permit disloyalty. I put my trust in you and was betrayed just as quickly. You brought your punishment upon yourself and like a good father corrects a wayward child, I had to correct you. I will, however, admit that I allowed my disappointment to get the better of me and for that, I apologize. But you should know that I forgive you too and we will speak no more of what happened in Lindon." He placed a hand gently on the top of her stomach. "Now I also understand that the name Andaeriel pains you. So if you will permit me, I'd like to give you a new one--"

"I don't want another name." He sighed and wrapped his spare hand around her own. 

"... Please believe me when I say I wish only for us to become closer. For you to feel you can trust me, confide in me. I really do believe I can make you happy if you let me."

"I know it was you."

"What?"

"The fire in my limbs, the first vision of Maedhros... it was all you." He blinked and then bowed his head.

"And I'm sorry for that too. I had to find a way of keeping you here, of discovering your true feelings--"

"You not only impersonated the man I loved but made me believe he never loved me."

"That was your interpretation. I had no desire to remind you of the past or bring those hurts to the fore once more."

"Yet you did all the same. I can't trust you Mairon, you must let me leave--"

"How can I when you threatened to ensnare me with Lindon's help?"

"I will return to the Havens and live quietly like before--"

"I've explained to you already; there is no going back. For you or for me." He let go of her hand though much to her disappointment he made no attempt to leave. "I've decided that we will travel to Eregion, Celebrimbor is a smith and therefore much more likely to engage with my plans."

"We?"

"You must accompany me, yes. If he knows we are friends there will be far less suspicion. That is if Lindon hasn't already made him aware..."

"I won't do it."

"You don't get to decide otherwise. You promised me your service and this will be the perfect opportunity for you to bothredeem yourself and prove your fealty."

"But you don't even need me, through thought alone you can create visions as real as any scheme we could concoct--"

"Then perhaps it is because I want you by my side. I want the love and support of the Elf I... I..." He placed his head in his hand, his voice trailing off. The minutes went by soundlessly, and she realised that in quiet moments she could never hear any birdsong or even chatter among the guards. She started to wonder if the chamber was just another illusion, and if her true location was somewhere far more dark and dangerous.

"I think I understand something now..." He turned to look at her once more. "You want your life cycle to end as well. It explains how you go to these lengths, and commit such atrocities. You don't wish to be imprisoned like your master before you and so you run from the Valar, hoping that your next scheme will put you beyond reproach. That is why yousought me out when others might have better suited your plans. You expected me to help you, to do whatever it took to help us both reach the same fate. But the closer you get, the more scared you become. So you hope that we might be together instead, to avoid the loneliness that may follow you into the void as well--"

"You were the one who offered to take me to Valinor and reside there as your prisoner--"

"Which the Valar would have to agree to and is therefore the reason you refused." He leaned over and seized her by the shoulders.

"But you will finally be able to live by your own rules, to at last decide the course of your own life! An idyll already awaits you; the search for where you belong is over." He pulled her closer and she knew the moment had come. In one swift motion, she drove the dagger she'd taken from him in their earlier tussle straight into his back. He lurched upwards as she ripped it out and immediately knew she'd missed her mark. He staggered from the bed gasping in pain but turned holding a short sword.

"Drop the knife - I don't wish to hurt you." With all her might she struggled upwards and stood almost level with his bloodied chest. 

"Let me leave and our association is ended." He snarled and lurched forward but she blocked the oncoming thrust with a sidestep. She knew there was little chance of winning, she was too weak even for his injured state. But if she could justmake it to the door she might have a chance, even if Orcs barred her way. She made a run for it only to find he'd blocked the exit in less than a blink of an eye.

"You never learn, do you? We are bound, Andaeriel--" she wouldn't let him finish and again tried to cleave a path through the room. Together they sparred until most of the chamber was in ruins. At yet another bind he finally kicked her legs from under her and she fell with his sword aimed squarely at her chest. She had no time to move away and instead made to block his blade the moment he lurched forward. Breathless, he knelt over her. "Give it up, now. You won't escape, my guards have orders to kill anyone attempting to leave this tower unbidden." She heaved upwards as best she could, he could turn the hilt of her knife red hot and still she wouldn't budge. But slowly he doubled his strength and she soon felt his sword sink lower. 

Finally, she accepted there would be no reasoning with Annatar, or any other chance for escape even if she journeyed with him to Eregion. Ultimately it would lead to a war with Lindon that they were neither prepared for nor stood a chance of winning. But she'd realised her mistake in aligning with him and had done all she could to repair the matter in the time left. Her part in this chapter of Middle-earth's history was now finished. Annatar's eyes, alight with impending victory, went wide as her knife suddenly gave way. Before he could even think of halting, he tumbled on top of her, his sword plunging directly into the middle of her chest. His face became a picture of agony and for a moment she almost pitied the wretched creature now completely undone by his own hubris. "No, no... what have you done?!" He did his best to staunch the wound but her breath grew shallow. The light from the two trees of Valinor, and so many ages of their world since, was fading from her eyes. He cradled her head in his arms, swallowing back his anguish so that they might talk a final time. But his voice and the room quickly grew dim, and all around her came a sound akin to rushing water. 

***

"Arasinya, daughter of Arphenion, you are brought to these halls, as before, to answer my summons. Do you accept full judgement of your deeds?" Never again did she think she would hear such a voice booming in the darkness.

"I do."

"You are come by the actions of the enemy. Yet for a time you were allied. Where now stands your loyalty?"

"I remain both my own person and a child of Ilúvatar." 

"Then how came you into the service of such evil?

"I... believed it was my only chance to seek that which I desired."

"And what is it you want?" She hesitated despite already knowing her response.

"My answer is the same, peace."

"And so is mine; you will not be cast beyond the walls of the world."

"But I have failed in my mission. I was unable to stop or even slow the evil that will now befall Middle-earth..."

"Your charge was to aid your kin. And though others might argue the degree, you have nonetheless finished the task."

"Then what will happen now?"

"You will complete the path that all others must take."

"I am to go to Aman? Tell me, please, am I to be reunited with Maedhros?"

"What you will find, is yours to discover." Suddenly she began to feel strange, as though a light that made everything seem new and whole again, was filling her. And for the first time, in all the uncounted years, she no longer felt afraid. 

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[resowrites]

Illumë - Part 4 (ROP series).

Summary: A Noldorin elfs desperate situation draws the newly awakened Annatar back into her acquaintaince. In return for his help - and her freedom - he demands a price she’s reluctant to pay. Will she fail her first mission to Lindon, or will Annatar gain ground through the use of her tactics?

Pairings: AU!Annatar, Unnamed!female elf, AU!Maedhros, AU!Elrond, AU!Gil Galad, AU!Galadriel.

Warnings: Dark themes, forced captivity, coercion, angst, fluff, ambiguity, mentions of death, meet cute, dialogue heavy, hastily written/lightly proofread.

WC: 3207

A/N: Hi folks, I hope you enjoy part 4. Annatar is absent for this installment but he’ll be back in the next part with a bang. I’ve had to toy with timelines slightly but this isn’t really ROP/canon based anyway (though it can be read as a ROP prequel). Some knowledge of the lore is still required. Thanks for reading and if you have any thoughts, let me know - R x

My work must not be copied, reposted, or translated elsewhere. Original gifs/pics not my own, no copyright infringement intended. Thanks for visiting.

Illumë - Part 4.

"Would you care for a drink?" The tall figure turned round.

"Oh, y-yes... thank you." He pushed his red hair from his shoulders and stood straight.

"Won't you come and join the party? We'll be playing games shortly."

"That's very kind but I'm content to remain in the gardens." He expected the fair elf-maiden before him to look disappointed but instead, she smiled and gazed past his shoulder.

"I can see why, I don't think I've ever known such a fair evening--" 

"I'm sorry, have we met?" She blushed suddenly.

"Oh, forgive me, I thought I'd introduced myself to everyone--"

"You're Arphenion's sister, are you not?" Her smile returned.

"Yes, that's right." 

"Arasinya, I believe?" She blushed deeper.

"That is my family name, yes. Everyone else calls me Ellethwen. What is your name?"

"Maedhros. It's a pleasure to finally meet you." He crossed his chest and bowed.

"The pleasure is all mine. Have you visited our family's home before?"

"I haven't, my work keeps me very busy."

"And what do you do?"

"I'm a student of the martial arts, my specialties being the sword and the long bow. What do you study?"

"Lore, I especially love ancient languages. I wish to travel to Middle-earth one day, I've heard so much about the races there but have never met them face to face."

"Middle-earth? That would be a dangerous journey..."

"So everyone tells me, but I would love nothing more than to see the rest of Arda. Don't you think it would be fascinating?"

"I understand Middle-earth to be violent and cruel. I wouldn't think it safe to venture there alone."

"You sound like my father. Oh, but to see a Dwarven realm! I hear they're surly but unequalled in their craft. Apparently,no one else speaks their language either, can you imagine the secrets they keep?"

"I believe they dwell in caves and have little to do with others. It's unlikely you would be a welcome visitor."

"Well, I intend to lead an expedition there all the same. In fact, I'm already putting together a small group, perhaps you could join us?"

"I... don't think my father would approve. He still hopes I will have a change of heart and become a craftsman instead..."

"I think you should dedicate yourself to whatever brings you the most joy." They smiled at each other. She noticed then the light in his blue eyes. 

"Well, I hope you will be careful. Will one of your brothers be joining you? You would be gone a long time and unable to make easy contact." She shook her head.

"Unfortunately they share my father's view..."

"Well, I wouldn't allow my little sister to make such a trip either--"

"You have sisters?"

"No, all brothers. And quite the group they are. I often feel quite apart from them..."

"Yes, I know the feeling. My brothers are all very sensible. They can't understand why I would wish to leave Valinor at all. But I won't be put off." 

"It sounds as though they would have a hard time stopping you." She bowed her head, reddening.

"Well, I suppose I should attend to the other guests. Are you sure you won't join us?"

"I would but I'm not very good with company..." 

"Well, I've very much enjoyed yours. You're welcome to visit me anytime. I would love to hear more about your training."

"Really? Most would find it a bore." 

"Not I, and who knows? Perhaps you will grow fonder of conversation with each visit?" With a playful smile, she scurried back into the house and rejoined the throng of visitors.

***

She jerked upright, just in time to prevent herself from falling from her horse. It had been a long journey up from the east, and as her health had yet to fully recover, the weeks of travel had taken their toll. She knew this was a test of her loyalty, and Annatar was keen to impress upon her the importance of this first mission. Her presence in Lindon was to be kept as casual as possible. She wasn't to request any pertinent information directly, nor was she permitted to give much news of herself. She feared this would prove more telling than a simple cover story, but Annatar insisted she be effectively untraceable. She didn't know what to expect from the visit. It had been countless years since she last stepped foot in the realm though she'd heard through the grapevine that their defences had since been greatly increased. To ensure she would still be permitted entry, Annatar bade her to seek Gil Galad's permission. He wrote back quickly and seemed delighted to hear from her once more. This made her heart sink further. 

For weeks she'd wondered whether it was better to simply tell everyone her predicament, but she couldn't risk drawing them all into great conflict with so little preparation. It seemed her arrival would otherwise come at a fortuitous time, Elrond would be present for several weeks and had bought with him a friend, Galadriel, whom she'd met only in passing. From the three of them, she hoped to build a clear picture of affairs in the Elven kingdom. When she finally saw the peaks of the large towers looming above the horizon, she felt her spirits lift, however briefly. After passing through several gates, and finally the main entryway, she was escorted via the citadel to a grand pavilion. Mercifully her room was located only a short distance away. She would have been relieved of the rest only for her guide to inform her that Gil Galad would be hosting a dinner that same evening. All recent guests were to attend without exception. The only bright spot was that at least her journey would be a short one if she could gather the information she needed that night. She dressed swiftly and with no small amount of trepidation, steeled herself towards a line of pagodas on the hill overlooking the Gulf of Lhûn. 

***

"It's well to see you again, mellon!" Elrond stood from his seat and bid her welcome. The pagoda was festooned in a myriad shades of gold and bore nothing short of a feast. Hundreds of low lamps were strung above them so that against the dawn of evening, from afar the ceiling looked beset by fireflies. She was offered a chair opposite the king and was relieved to see that the table held mostly familiar faces despite its size. Elrond was his usual animated self, a mischievous smile never far from his lips. Gil Galad wore a dour expression but had a softness in his eyes that betrayed his true nature. To his right was an elf lady of tall stature and long plaited hair that was neither silver nor gold. She knew from descriptionalone this had to be Galadriel, though beside her the seat was empty and so it appeared she was attending the dinner alone. She quietly took her seat and resolved not to look too closely at the eager faces ahead. 

"How was your journey?"

"Uneventful, though long." Elrond frowned.

"But I thought you were in the Havens at present?" She cleared her throat and whipped a napkin onto her lap. 

"I was visiting a friend further afield and decided to stop by on the return journey." 

"I had wondered why you requested a visit..." Gil Galad eyed her from the rim of his wine glass. Already it felt like an interrogation. 

"Well, we're glad you've come. What were your thoughts on the new pavilion?" 

"New pavilion?"

"Why, you have been gone a long time--"

"We started to wonder if you'd taken off somewhere, did Cirdan not forward you our correspondence?" Her mind lurched back to the pile of letters she'd let build in the room rented from him.

"Forgive me, I've had other matters to attend to of late." Gil Galad looked as though he was about to continue when Elrond interrupted.

"And what tidings have you from the Havens?" 

"Much is as it ever was." The table expected her to elaborate but silence ensued. Elrond and Gil Galad exchanged glances but it was Galadriel who picked up the conversation. 

"Forgive me if it seems impertinent but we aren't well known to each other, are you a relation of Cirdan? I would think the Havens a rather mournful place to reside..."

"It's quiet and so suits me well." Galadriel swallowed and made no further inquiry.

"Don't let her demeanour fool you, I can recall many a raucous party in days gone by..."

"Oh yes, I seem to remember Galdor running afoul of the entry fee--"

"The entry fee?" 

"Yes, our friend here wouldn't permit anyone without wine nor would she let them leave without drinking at least as much as they had bought. Poor Galdor carried with him a cask and had to be hauled from the group not two hours later--"

"I think that was the last time he attended your father's house?" Laughter rang out from the table. She smiled but carried on pushing food around her plate.  

"We can't forget Aenir either, he brought nothing to one such gathering and was made to sing a song of lament. He left in greater need of a drink than he arrived."

"Though his voice was much improved..." More laughter echoed from the awning. "Ah... to our halcyon days." Gil Galad raised his glass, encouraging the others to do the same.

"Yes, time marches ever forward. I hope you won't leave us long Galadriel." All eyes fell upon her.

"Celeborn and I have yet to decide. It's not that we're ungrateful to this happy place, but we long for a residence we might call our own." 

"I doubt you'll be availed of such an opportunity..." 

"Perhaps so. Still, we shall try. We will head to Eregion first, Celebrimbor knows more of the south than we two. I'm sure he will guide our next steps."

"But would a single realm befit your plain?" Galadriel knew Elrond was simply teasing her, but a fire came into her eyes all the same.

"I know it's a pity you aren't similarly ambitious--"

"Why, I never knew Beleriand was so large--" 

"Enough! It's as though I sit among children--"

"At any rate," Gil Galad was surprised to be cut off, "the relations with the dwarves of Khazad-dûm must also be strengthened, for if what I fear comes to pass, they will be great allies as in the dark days." A tension settled about the table. 

"Perhaps you should explain to our guest your concerns." Galadriel blanched and at first, her voice faltered. 

"I have sensed for some time an unease which has darkened with its spread. Its shape or form I daren't guess, but I'm certain it springs from the east." Gil Galad cleared his throat.

"Yet we have little in the way of proof, yourself being the only one among us who senses anything--"

"But what of our guest? Do you not find our present circumstances to be familiar?"

"In truth, I have given them little thought. Though I rather think the signs of evil would avail themselves before long--"

"Those are my thoughts, too." Galadriel beamed, delighted to have at last found common ground with their visitor. 

"But has it not occurred to you that your suspicions arise simply because you wish them to?"

"I have no desire for those times to befall us ever again--"

"So say we all. But you are restless, and that may manifest in various ways."

"I know my own mind. And you will all see that I'm right in the fullness of time." A small smile curled Elrond's lips.

"When did you say you would depart?" Gil Galad chuckled.

"Oh, stop it. And returning to our topic, I'm sure our guest would agree that we, like Middle-earth, are meant to progress however we may. Won't you depart from the Havens eventually?"

"I know not where else I would go."

"But do you not desire lands of your own?"

"I haven't the qualities, I fear." Galadriel was lost for a response and so instead smiled politely.

"And what of your work in the Havens? Our friend's skill is in lore, much like my own. I believe when last we spoke you were translating an ancient Mannish language."

"Oh? You are familiar with the race of men?" Galadriel's eyes shined bright.

"To a degree, yes."

"That must be fascinating work. Do you visit their lands often?"

"Not recently, no." The conversation stalled once again though Elrond was determined to puzzle out her reticence. 

"So what will be your next area of study?" 

"I don't know, for the moment I have more pressing concerns." Elrond and Gil Galad exchanged another look.

"Would you not share them with us? Perhaps we may be of use?"

"Could you and your husband not stay and rest a while longer? Celeborn and I would love to get to know you both." More than one set of eyebrows were raised.

"I'm unmarried."

"Oh? Forgive me, I shouldn't have assumed--" but she rose to her feet. 

"It's quite alright. Would any of you mind if I excused myself? I've had a tiring day and need rest." She didn't wait for Gil Galad's response, much less anyone else's, and left as quickly as she could.

***

"Thank you for meeting with me, I don't intend to keep you long. Gil Galad wished to speak to you himself but he was called away on business." It was late the following morning when Elrond requested they speak. Much to her surprise, however, he insisted they take a walk in the low gardens adjacent to his study. "Firstly, I must apologise if Galadriel spoke too plainly yesterday, she has at least the forwardness of our kin--"

"You need not apologise, you know I don't easily take offence."

"Good, well then I must also make plain our concern..." For one sickening moment, she thought the game well and truly over. Had Galadriel discovered something of the same darkness about her too?

"Over what?"

"Yourself." Her heart started pounding.

"You seem much... diminished of late." She didn't know whether to laugh or weep.

"Though fortunately not immune to your charms..."

"Forgive me, as ever my talents lie elsewhere. However, Cirdan apparently had the same observation. When last he wrote with news from the Havens, he mentioned you had disappeared without so much as a note--"

"Is this a cross-examination?"

"Of course not, your business is your own. But we're family, such as we all have left. Confide in us your troubles and you won't be cast aside."

"That is kind of you, Elrond."

"And yet you remain unconvinced?" They walked in silence for a while.

"Is it not curious to you that as time passes we seem to know less than ever before?" He sighed.

"I question myself daily. Look around you, Lindon falls slowly under a pall we neither understand nor can seem to stem."

"Yet you would dismiss Galadriel's premonition..."

"You think it unwise? In truth, I know not how Gil Galad will proceed. We accept it's but a matter of time before war is upon us once more. But to quake before every dream or ill thought will drive us all to darkness long before it reaches us. The eastern border will remain barred as planned. I will also reinforce our guards and patrols, but it seems folly to go on the hunt for an enemy whose form we can't even guess." She stopped. If she wasn't going to tell her friends outright just how much danger they were in, this was her one opportunity to at least advise them.

"I wonder if that remains the best strategy..." He raised his dark brow. "Far be it from me to counsel those well versed in the tactics of our enemy, but I'm curious as to what would happen if we didn't pursue that which would eventually seek us."

"Do you propose allowing the enemy to come to us?"

"I merely suggest we wait to see how the situation unfolds."

"But that could well expose our people and this realm to the greatest of perils." 

"I think it unlikely an enemy as cunning as ours would simply storm the city walls." 

"Yet this was often the way in the past--"

"Exactly, it wouldn't be the best plan for a realm already on high alert. If Galadriel's feeling is correct, it's entirely possiblethe enemy may know we are now aware of him. Would that not lend his next moves to stealth?"

"What do you think will happen?"

"I wouldn't want to guess. All I propose is that you keep your minds open." They resumed their walk in silence for a while. She noted that even the trees seemed to sigh in weariness.

"... I begin to wonder if we do more harm than good by remaining here. After all, it seems but a fight against the rising tide."

"Gil Galad won't abandon the men of Westernesse, nor the Dwarves or gentle-folk. Not while the darkness might be kept at bay a while longer. Though I fear our time will end all the same." Elrond smiled sadly.

"Then so it will be. But you're quite right. We can't simply turn heel and flee the moment the sun no longer shines. Not while there is good to be done." He came to a halt. "I would ask that you remain here though, at least until such a time as your mood is lifted."

"You have my gratitude, but all is well. I assure you."

"Then where will you go?"

"I haven't decided on a course." 

"Why not stay until you are resolved? There is many a young elf who would wish to learn from you, not least the tales of the elder days."

"I have no desire to relive the past..."

"Then think on the future. Lindon welcomes you as it has of old. You will meet no resistance from me should you wish to stay."

"Well, at least I know by what means all the elf maidens here remain enthralled..." Elrond grinned.

"But it isn't good for us to remain alone, either in dwelling or... partnership. And you have done both for as long as I remember. Would you not now seek a new mate?" She stared at him blankly.

"I know I would seek to hear this from Gil Galad instead--"

"I'm serious. I know I'm hardly one to talk, but I have a kingdom to help run. You on the other hand seem to be... languishing." The choice of word threw her back into her current predicament. 

"Well, it seems the pair of you require a new past time if your present one is matchmaking--"

"That isn't our intention at all, as well you know. But is it not best to leave the past where it lies? Maedhros can't be returned to us--" the mention of the name rooted her to the spot. "Forgive me, I don't wish to speak out of turn but, wait... where are you going? You're not leaving? Wait... come back!" But she was already long from view and never again would she return to the realm. 

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[resowrites]

Illumë - Part 3 (ROP series).

Summary: A Noldorin elfs desperate situation draws the newly awakened Annatar back into her acquaintaince. In return for his help - and her freedom - he demands a price she’s reluctant to pay. Growing increasingly doubful of both him and her own mind, can she even trust herself to make the right choice? *Can be read as a oneshot, but here are parts 1 & 2.*

Pairings: AU!Annatar, Unnamed!female elf, AU!Maedhros.

Warnings: Dark themes, sarcasm, forced captivity, coercion, manipulation, angst, ambiguity, mentions of death/afterlife/failed relationship, dialogue heavy, hastily written/lightly proofread.

WC: 2293

A/N: Hi folks, so I’ve decided to make this a short series. I’ve no idea how long it will be as it depends on my schedule but probably around 5/6 parts, maybe longer. It’s not really ROP/canon based though you can read it as a rough prequel. Some knowledge of the lore is required. I know there won’t be many viewers/readers so thanks in advance to all those who do interact and I’m open to feedback if you have any. Enjoy - R x

My work must not be copied, reposted, or translated elsewhere. Original gifs/pics not my own, no copyright infringement intended. Thanks for visiting.

Illumë - Part 3.

She spent many long hours each day awaiting the fire once more. After almost a week, she began to fear that Annatar had caused the pain all along. Mercifully, she was free of him most of the time. He returned to the chamber around early evening and guarded her until she awoke at dawn the following day. He would try to engage her in conversation but instead, she would pretend or at least attempt to sleep. She found she no longer had an appetite which worsened her already weakened state. She was surprised her recovery was so slow. Had the Valaar made her vulnerable so as to be taken in by him? Was that why she'd been returned at all, and so quickly? But how was she to stem the tide of his evil? What was it about her that proved equal even to his cunning let alone great power? Either way, she resolved that she must escape him, and quickly. Of course, he was still confident that eventually she'd be won round. After all, she had no immediate family left, she couldn't recall the last time she visited Lindon or even spoke to another besides Cirdan when she took refuge by the sea. She was almost entirely alone, and sooner or later he would force her allegiance. Of that she was sure. 

Desperately she tried to clear her mind and instead focus on reaching Maedhros herself. She knew there was little chance, he no longer resided in this world, and never before had she been able to reach him merely by thought. But on and on she tried, until the dim light streaming from the windows disappeared entirely. Exhausted and pained she gave up, knowing that Annatar would soon return and she couldn't risk him figuring out her plan. She felt tears flood her tired eyes. If she couldn't get Maedhros to help her she would be stuck as Annatars thrall until he no longer had a use for her. How wretched she would be. With all her might she heaved onto her side and tried to sleep. She didn't wish to be awake for the appearance of her captor.

***

"Meleth nîn"

"Meleth nîn..."

The voice drifted to her like the last notes of a song. But from which direction? All around her hung a mist as dense as those of the Grey Havens. Had she been transported back somehow? Wherever she was it had neither sky nor horizon. Even the ground beneath her had no form. Was she floating? Her body felt no lighter than it did of old. She turned slowly in the hope that something, anything may prove a marker of where she now found herself. And it was then that she saw a shadow, large and unyielding, advancing in the fog. When at last she could make out its shape, her breath caught in her throat. "Meleth nîn... I've found you at last!"

"Maedhros? How can it be...?" He was standing in front of her now, as plain as if she were awake. He looked as fair as the last time she beheld him. His long red hair flashed as in a light breeze yet his eyes were as gentle as ever. The most handsome of Fëanor's sons he remained, yet most like his mother in nature. Seldom had she seen such joy in his face. She steeled herself, now wasn't the moment for tears. "This is a dream." He smiled sadly.

"I have often said so myself. Yet here we are! I tried many times to contact you--"

"So the fire was you?" He broke off his gaze.

"... I'm sorry. I knew not how else to reach you."

"How is this happening?"

"I don't know. All I know is that you called to me, and for once I could answer. I looked for you in the Halls of Waiting, I sensed that somehow you had come then you disappeared just as quickly. What happened?" 

"The Valar sent me back--"

"But how came you to the Halls? Were you hurt?!" Eagerly he took her hand in his. She pulled it back to her side. "How unchanged you look and yet... different."

"It's been a long time since last we met." He swallowed and cast his eyes to the floor.

"Andaeriel..."

"We were not married, Maedhros. If you must address me then use my given name." He shifted uncomfortably.

"I'm glad we meet again, at any rate. We have much to discuss--"

"I'm afraid there's no time. I don't know by which sorcery we are joined or whether it may happen again and so I must come to the point--"

"All the same, I must apologise--"

"Maedhros, too many years have passed for either of us to still carry ill feeling--"

"But I was wrong to abandon you--"

"You must listen to me! I'm in grave danger. I need your help urgently--"

"My help? I have no sway over the living in Middle-earth--"

"Then you must find a way back to me, I can't escape my peril alone--"

"But what can you expect me to do?"

"Speak with the Valar, it is they who may have engineered our meeting. If they have returned me perhaps they will do the same for you if you wish it?" Maedhros sighed.

"Would it not be easier for you to return here? What do the comings and goings of Middle-earth matter if we can be together once more?"

"Do you not hear me? The Valar have bid me to aid my kin, so if you wish to see me again you have no choice but to assist me yourself--"

"But would you not rather come home? We have been parted so long... come back, vanimelda. Then we might both go to Valinor once more and be at peace." The small, faltering spark of hope still left in her heart went out immediately. She stepped back from his towering frame. 

"... I am a fool." Confusion rippled his brow.

"What do you mean?"

"That is why you appear to me now. You said you looked for me in the Halls of Waiting yet you do not say you left them. Many a long year you could have tried to commune with me, to ask to be returned. But you were silent. I am your only means of reaching the Blessed Realm, am I not?" His pale skin ran almost clear. 

"How can you accuse me of such deceit? Do you honestly believe my love for you is a lie?!? She did nothing but look into his clear blue eyes a final time. 

"Namárië."

"Wait, you can't leave! Please, just listen to me--" he held her fast but his voice faltered to an echo. The haze which had hidden everything from view now overtook her mind as well. She knew not how she came to be in such a strange place, but never again would she attempt to return. 

***

Round and round the halls she searched. The hour was getting late and she was sure she'd missed him. Dejected she slumped against the smooth stone. Would he really have left without saying goodbye? "THERE YOU ARE!" She'd closed her eyes only to be flung into the air by two strong arms. Her shrieks were finally drowned out once his lips met hers. But she pushed him away.

"You're a fiend to frighten me so!"

"Still, it was worth it to have you in my arms again..." He pulled her close for another kiss and that time she yielded. "You don't think I would leave you without one last farewell?"

"Is that all you wanted...?" He grinned as their heads touched. "You will be careful, won't you? The thought of you on another night raid terrifies me..." He cupped her face between his hands.

"Andaeriel, you will never escape me as long as you live..." 

***

"Oh... you are out of bed?" She jolted in her chair. Annatar found her hunched in what was usually his seat, gazing silently out a low window. "Do I take it your strength has returned?" When she made no reply he came slowly round to her side and took the chair to her left. Her eyes were bloodshot and swollen. "I'm sorry to have returned so late, my business took longer than expected..." Her stare seemed fixed on a point he could not see. "Something troubles you... what is it?" Rain began to fall in drifts. It would be a long, chill night. Pursing his mouth, he removed himself to the fireplace and tended the low embers. "Well, I am glad to see you out of bed. Will you now have something to eat?" 

"No." He sighed and collapsed back into the seat beside her. "If you will not confide in me then at least let your heart be untroubled. Nothing bad will come to you here, I told you I would protect you as long as you remained my guest." Finally, she beheld his pleading face.

"Yet each night you watch me while I sleep. What is it you are afraid of?"

"I wish only to ensure your nights are restful. You slept fitfully when you first arrived, as though you were troubled by strange dreams..." Something in his remark troubled her though she kept her face still. 

"Does that not befit the strange place you hold me captive?"

"... Were you thinking of him?"

"Of course not." He sighed again and lept up to pace about the room. 

"Why is it that the most remarkable of this earth fall for the equally wretched?! I command you to let him go--"

"You may command nothing of me." The hardness of her voice stopped him in his tracks.

"Your love for him will be your undoing."

"What would you know of love?" He wet his mouth but remained silent for a time.

"Is there nothing I can do to ease your mind?"

"Leave me, I wish for one night of unguarded rest."

"And do you honestly intend to rest?"

"What else would I be about? I'm sure you've made certain I can never escape."

"Then perhaps you would do well to reconsider my offer--"

"And be your servant? Have you not enough Orc for the job?"

"Yet you can walk where Orcs dare not tread. Your help to me would be invaluable and I would see to it you were richly rewarded." She scoffed.

"More so than now?"

"You will have all that you could ever wish for."

"Then I would not be with you." He bowed his head and stood with his hands behind his back. Several minutes passed uneasily.

"You don't wish for Maedhros to return. You even said so yourself. But like a wounded animal, you will use whatever you can to defend yourself. No matter. Still we will create a Middle-earth that casts Valinor into the shade."

"I have no interest in returning even to Valinor, you can create Aman anew for all I care."

"I think you do care, deep down. And perhaps it will be a chance for you to no longer feel lost in the world. You need purpose. I know the feeling well. But you and I aren't meant to languish like the others. Our realm will be unrivaled even by the Valar themselves."

"I have told you countless times, I wish only for everlasting death. Now more than ever..."

"Not when you see the haven I will build for you. And you will be the one all will worship, a true leader the likes of which Arda has never seen. I can think of no one more deserving. You won't just belong once more, you will govern the very hearts of man and beast--"

"What then would you do? For it seems that if all your promise comes true, you would hardly be needed at all..." His mouth twitched.

"I take it that you will at least consider joining me, then?"

"If I do it will be under my own terms."

"Such as?"

"Firstly, I will do nothing to arouse the suspicion of my kin. To them, I will remain as they have known me." 

"I don't know how this will be possible as our task draws nearer to completion--"

"Yet you must find a way to make it so. I won't kill or maim, either. I may be many things but I am not a murderer."

"Is there anything else?"

"Yes, I won't stay in this realm with you. We are to remain loose allies and nothing more." His brow tensed. "Once my involvement is complete I will hand myself back to the Valar for judgement." He cleared his throat.

"I fear that you won't have done enough to warrant banishment from Arda entirely. But no matter, once our quest has been fulfilled you won’t wish to leave my side ever again."

"But you will let me leave? I won't join you under any other circumstance." He smiled thinly.

"You have my word. Well, now that our arrangement is decided, I think we should toast the occasion." He sprung towards a rope pull by the door. "You know, often lately have I thought of our first meeting. How innocent you were... yet I knew you were destined for great triumph. I'm glad you will join me. I promise you won't regret the decision." She watched him grimly, content to let him revel in his victory. 

But from that day forward she would no longer be a victim. Nor would her fate be decided by another. The only pawns now were those who stood in her way and whereas she once regretted ever making Mairon's acquaintance, soon he would rue the day he ever set eyes upon her. 

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[resowrites]

Illumë (cont’d)- ROP Oneshot.

Summary: When a Noldorin elf wishes for her life cycle to end permanently, Mairon (now Annatar), an old acquaintance from ages long past, suggests they cooperate in order to achieve their aims. But with her past catching up to her and the options soon dwindling, will she put her trust in Annatar at last - despite whatever his true motives may be? (This story is a continuation from this post but can easily be read separately).

Pairings: AU!Annatar, Unnamed!female elf.

Warnings: Dark-ish themes, brief mentions of character suicide/death, descriptions of pain, angst, ambiguity, dialogue heavy, hastily written/lightly proofread.

WC: 2739

A/N: Hi folks, I know it’s been a while and there’s not a huge ROP following here but getting my ideas down helps me start writing properly again so for those who do enjoy this, thanks and I may continue it depending on whether I have the time. It’s not really ROP or canon based but you do need a rough idea of events leading up to the second age. Enjoy - R x

My work must not be copied, reposted, or translated elsewhere. Gifs/pics not my own, no copyright infringement intended. Thanks for visiting.

Illumë (cont’d)- ROP Oneshot.

All around her was emptiness. Tall columns outlined her view and a cold mist hung in the air. How long she had been where she stood she didn't know. She could see no one else and yet didn't seem to be alone. At last, she wondered why she was rooted to her spot though she felt no desire to leave. It appeared she was waiting for something though she could make no guess as to what.

"You know why you are here." A loud voice came from high overhead and in front of her, a tower-like being filled the dim space. She couldn't tell if they were clad in dark robes or were formless like much of the space around her. The only light piercing the darkness came from their beam-like eyes. "And in agreeing to enter my halls you accept full judgement of your deeds. Is this understood?" Finding her voice, she answered back into the void.

"It is."

"Why then, pray, did you answer my summons?"

"I-I don't understand, my Lord."

"You sacrificed your fëa, thereby facilitating your delivery unto this realm. For what purpose?" She breathed as deeply as she could, knowing this would be her one and only chance.

"I wish only to be free of my previous life… and of this one."

"I will ask a final time, for what purpose?" She began to shake.

"I feel my time has ended." Her words echoed into the depths.

"This is but the decision of Eru alone--"

"But if I am an expression of His will, why must my feelings be dismissed?"

"You consider yourself our equal, if not Eru Himself?"

"I know only my own heart, which you, too, are privy."

"Do you now question my ability? Are your grievances unmended?"

"My desire is unchanged, my Lord. I only ask how my request can be considered so provocative when it's surely not the first of its kind?" She knew she had never spoken so rashly before, but overriding her fear was a sense of urgency she couldn't explain. It was some time before the figure spoke again.

"You have lost your respect for life and those who govern it, this much is true--"

"All the better I be banished, then--" The figure suddenly seemed to shift, morphing into two. The split however was unequal and the smaller figure moved closer to her as it spoke. The voice seemed feminine but no less grave.

"Your position is not one of isolation. There is another who wishes to be with you once more. I believe you know of whom I speak."

"Thank you, my Lady? But… I wish only to be free of this cycle--"

"And what have you done to deserve a fate of your choosing?" The original phantom resumed speaking, but where their counterpart went she couldn't see. "Evil wakes again in Middle-earth and you have done naught to discourage it. Do you now walk this path yourself?"

"I walk my own path. And not being a supreme being, I don't see how I could determine any destiny but my own--"

"Enough!" Their voice boomed terrible and loud. "You will return to Middle-earth and aid your kin. Refuse this chance and you will not find my next judgement so forgiving. Your doom is decided and I, Mandos, have spoken."

***

"W-w… where am I?"

"You are safe. Now, rest." She moved her head as much as she could from side to side. The walls were cast in the low glow of a fire somewhere beyond her line of sight. Several yards to her right she could just see the outline of a tall chair and the fair head resting against it. Her body felt leaden and weak.

"What have you done to me?"

"You are as I found you," he continued in anticipation of her next question, "you have been here, in my home, almost a fortnight. Now please go back to sleep."

"Why did you bring me here?"

"To ensure your safety--"

"My isolation, you mean…" He sighed and lowered the book he'd been reading.

"You are hardly more isolated now than you were before."

"Then why can't I move?"

"I don't know--" her cheeks coloured.

"Stop these tricks and let me leave. I never want to cast eyes upon you again."

"You are free to leave when you are recovered. Presently you need care--"

"I can care for myself--"

"I don't doubt it, but until you are able to feed yourself, walk, or even sit up, here you will remain. If you wish to try and regain your strength, I suggest you rest."

"And how am I to rest? Knowing where I am or that you stand watch--" pain ripped through her side.

"What's wrong? What do you feel?" He sprung from his chair and towards the bed.

"It's like a… fire. At first, it was in my legs but now I feel it in my sides." She lay quietly for a moment, exhausted at having to speak. When she looked over at him again, he stood still, deep in thought. She could see the reflection of the hearth in his black eyes. It was then that the pain surged, filling the whole of her body with an agony so intense, all her thought was bent to it. Despite her thrashing, he quickly pulled the covers from the bed. When he tried to hold her down, she screamed.

"Do not touch me! I know it is you who does this to me--"

"Be still, and focus your mind to mine!" He tried to meet her gaze but instinctively she shut her eyes. She wouldn't look into the depths of such evil. Suddenly she found herself still once more, though struggling for breath and drenched in sweat. The pain had vanished as inexplicably as it arrived. She also realised he was no longer beside her though he soon returned carrying a large pitcher. She was too weak to fight him any further, and her thirst was so great that the cold sweet liquid he made her drink felt like a thousand blows to the stomach. Eventually, she fell back into the bed, gasping for breath. He thought now at least she would be forced to rest but she had no intention of slipping back into sleep. "Why do you do this to me?" He sighed and pulled his chair closer before taking a seat.

"Your pain does not stem from me. As I have explained, you were unconscious when I found you. Do you not recall what happened before you were returned here?" Her eyes darted back and forth.

"Returned?"

"Do you not remember? Were you not bought before the Valar?" Her memory slowly returned though it felt more like a far-off dream.

"I remember very little…"

"You surprise me. The Valar are hardly in the habit of returning elves to Middle-earth… especially so quickly." She swallowed but said nothing. "In fact, you are the last that I remember." This she also knew to be untrue.

"Is that so? I can hardly imagine a worse punishment."

"And was that their reason for sending you back? I imagine the Doomsman himself had much to say…"

"Well, at least I dared to face him." His eyes hardened.

"Only to beg him to cast you into oblivion--" once again she felt rage fill the back of her throat.

"I have never once begged for anything in all my long years. Desperation is one emotion I will not stoop to."

"So you simply accepted their refusal to grant your wish? I hardly think so, you have a sharp enough tongue when it suits." She sighed.

"I shan't go back and forth, it amounts to nothing. I won't join you, as I've explained. As soon as I'm recovered I will do whatever I can to be rid of this place."

"And go where exactly?"

"I don't see how it even concerns you--"

"Don't be churlish. If it didn't concern me I would have left you naked and starved on the floor of that hovel you've been hiding in--"

"Well, why didn't you? What do you want with me? You know I won't bend to you. You have absolutely nothing to gain by keeping me here."

"There is everything to gain. If for once you would look forward instead of back you could see it for yourself. In any event, you no longer have a choice. To be banished from this life and the next requires a commitment to deeds you would no doubt consider unthinkable…"

"Yet you would run the risk of such banishment yourself--"

"I have no intention of failing in my quest. Yet all you would need to do is hand yourself over to the Valar once more--"

"To what end? They would only imprison me."

"Not if you refused to repent, even they do not expend effort on a lost cause."

"You suppose. You have no proof of what you say and therefore your plan could well be for naught."

"Then what do you propose to do? Either way, you will never see the Blessed Realm again, and if you have no other plans here it seems mine is the only option."

"And what is your plan, exactly? It takes less than you possess to control these lands. You could have ruled countless kingdoms in your time, Lord knows you have helped raze plenty. But it will never be enough. You wish only to be as they are - a true god. And in a jealous fury, you will continue to take your revenge as you may." He folded his hands.

"You think the matter so plain?"

"Well surely if you sought true dominion it would not be over creatures as insignificant as us? But what are you to one god let alone the rest? You run not from their judgement but from your own bounds." He watched her for a moment.

"How like a child you are at times."

"I admit it was an obvious observation…"

"I meant for letting your own lack of hardship colour your judgement. Pity, I considered yours among the more balanced of elven minds."

"And I expected yours to be hardier--" he lept from his chair.

"What would you know of hardiness? You, who were loved into being, cherished to the last, and now being deprived of this, consider yourself burdened? I have lived greater agonies thrice over--"

"You would have me believe you are even capable of agony?"

"And how would you know? I do not appear now as I have always been."

"That was long ago, and you have done naught to improve or even redeem yourself."

"Don't be a fool. What has your nobility bought you other than misery? Goodness goes unpaid, you have now heard as much from the Valar's own mouths. What you wish shall never be granted for it is not their design--"

"But that too is your destiny. Eventually, you will be cast beyond the walls of the world as he was, though I dare say you are as purposeless now as you would be then."

"My purpose is as yours should be, to do as I wish whatever the confines. We still have agency, we need not live entirely as they choose--"

"And still you would choose wickedness."

"Yet Elves cannot truly perish and men are at least spared that fate, how could you deem the hastening of either outcome to be wicked?"

"But that consideration does not extend to how you dispense such mercy. I was there when Gondolin fell. I witnessed the whole of Beleriand disappear into memory. Doriath, Nargothrond… all are vanquished. Yet you would wreak greater destruction still and expect me to be a willing participant. You are not only cruel, you are brutal. And no silver tongue will belie this." He allowed himself a small smile and retook his seat.

"It's a pity you were unable to keep your temper in check, I'm sure with enough humility you may even have been reunited with your beloved… was that not your true purpose in leaving?"

"I have no beloved. And until you mentioned him the thought hadn't even crossed my mind--"

"No? Then why, pray, does he attempt to make contact with you?"

"What do you mean?" He sighed.

"The fire, child. How else would Maedhros make his presence known? It's smart, I must say. About the smartest thing he's done--"

"I don’t believe you.”

“Search your heart, you know it to be the truth.” She gritted her teeth.

“He can set me alight for true - my position is unchanged." His eyes seemed to come alive.

"So you refused him? Were you not offered to be joined again in Valinor?"

"I told you. He wasn't mentioned."

"Good. You deserve a mate who won't wait until after death to fight for you--"

"And I am to believe you are that mate?" His jaw tensed but he held her gaze. "Then I offer you a choice. Return to Valinor as my prisoner. It may be the only way either of us will escape further punishment. Then we may each do as we please, and you will finally have a small measure of peace." For a while, all they could do was stare at one another.

"There will be no peace for me. Nor you, I suspect."

"Why not? The Valar would be given an opportunity to ensnare you without direct interference--"

"Do you not believe they are capable of this already? Besides they won't entrust me to an elf, nor consider my return an adequate penance."

"We could at least try, or would that not fit in with your grand scheme?"

"I might ask you the same question. Our only real chance is to remain here and work together." Something flickered across his eyes. "Or does this frighten you? She turned to look away from him. "Do my words unnerve you? Surely if you have seen fit to detail my faults you can accept the same in return? You won't acknowledge your own darkness. You have it in you, I know. I also know that it was you who scorned Maedhros, not the other way around--"

"Stop--"

"That is what caused him to leap to his death--"

"I said stop--"

"And you have carried the guilt ever since, so much so you would rather stop existing entirely than live another minute with it--"

"You know nothing--" tears splashed her face.

"Yet you have rejected him again. That is why you fear us becoming closer, you know we have far more in common than you dared hope…" With all the strength she could muster, she pulled herself up against the headrest.

"We are nothing alike. And you don't desire me, not truly. You wish only to control. I am fit to pursue because I am far beyond your reach. What matters most to you means nothing to me. And where I yearn for nothingness you flee from it. But I cannot be overcome. You cannot frighten or command me. Over me, you hold no dominion. So you will fight, rail against the injustices you feel you have suffered, while all around you Middle-earth will change, your name eventually powerless and distant. I am your destiny writ large, Mairon. So tell me, is it worth it? You will find another maiden to do your bidding, I'm sure. But you will not have me. Now go, I wish to sleep." Slowly, he rose to his feet. But he stood awhile, choosing his next words carefully. Failing this, he strode towards her and sat down on the edge of the bed. When he took her hand in his, she flinched.

"… How little you understand me. But this I will remedy. I will show you all that is to be achieved here, how much we might achieve as one. Good night, I hope you sleep well." To her tired mind, he seemed to melt into the shadows the moment he stood. Sleep no longer eluded her. But he had revealed his true intentions and so this much at least, she had already achieved. However, escaping him now would take far more than she had realised. As much as she dreaded the very idea, her only chance lay in the fire. If she could submit when it tried to consume her once more, perhaps help would be found beyond Middle-earth.

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[resowrites]

Illumë - ROP Oneshot.

Summary: Annatar puts in his first appearance…

Pairings: AU!Annatar, Unnamed!female elf.

Warnings: Dark-ish themes, angst, ambiguity, dialogue heavy, hastily written/lightly proofread.

WC: <1200

A/N: Hi folks, still not back to writing regularly (just don’t have the time ugh) but have been toying with this one for a bit so finally decided to upload. I don’t dig ROP but was interested by its interpretation of Annatar so this is just my own take. It’s not really ROP or canon based but you do need a rough idea of events leading up to the second age. Enjoy - R x

My work must not be copied, reposted, or translated elsewhere. Gifs/pics not my own, no copyright infringement intended. Thanks for visiting.

Illumë - oneshot.

The wind whipped and shushed, clattering shutters and eventually guttering the flames. She made to relight the lantern creaking above her when she sensed something in the far corner. But it was no trick of the light now playing on the walls. The shadow at her back moved. 

"How strange to find you in such a place." Soundlessly she breathed out and found herself seated again. She knew the moment she looked up, there he would be, looming from behind the table. For a moment she mused on why he wouldn't just appear there in the first place. "Will you not look upon me?"

"What is there to see?" 

"Look at me." Her eyes flicked up and down. "Do you not find me fair?" When she made no reply he paused and gathered his hands about his back. "Do I disturb you?" His fingers drummed as he glanced about the room. "Why on earth are you here?"

"Where else would I be?" She drew herself up and began searching for a jug of water. He studied her more closely now. It had been a long time since they last crossed paths and though she appeared much as before, he couldn't deny she seemed slowed, faded, even. 

Apart from one or two small piles of books and papers, the room held nothing but the usual sundries. Cup in hand she lowered herself into a more comfortable chair. The fire spat low at her heels as she gazed into it. But there he now sat, mere feet from her. How she loathed the intrusion. "At any rate, I'm surprised to find you so... subdued." She remained silent. "Do you not seek company?"

"It would seem to seek me." He didn't smirk, not that she would have seen it.

"You used to delight in a crowded room." 

"Which you know only from the memories of others." She took a long sip. 

"I know more than you suppose. So this is where you will remain? Sat in repose until the end of all things?"

"I imagine even that will prove more useful than your purpose. On what fool's errand do you emerge this time?" He smiled now and greeted her own questioning with silence. At length, she lowered her cup and inhaled sharply. "They won't fall for it." 

"You care enough to warn them?"

"I need not warn anyone. They're not the fools you take them for."  

"Yet foolishly they behave. So the shipwright gave you refuge, what does he expect in return?"

"He expects very little, probably the least of anyone."

"And that you consider wisdom?"

"He leaves me be, which shows sense at least." It started to rain. Water could be heard trickling from the eaves.

"Why do my questions trouble you so?"

"You are the troubled. You claim to know much yet insist on the knowledge you already possess."

"Is that why you came here, to gather whatever you may? Tell me, what does one derive from conversations with a shipbuilder--"

"So you would seek an accomplice? Are you not confident in your plans?" His brow twitched. 

"You consider yourself as capable as I?"

"In Malice? No, I should think not." He waited a beat while she drained more of her cup. 

"Yet wearier you may be--"

"You suppose?" 

"Then why remain here at all? Why be surrounded by those from whom you have banished yourself? Would not some hidden place have sufficed--"

"Behind the mountains perhaps?" She shifted her legs and stifled the urge to yawn. 

"Ah, so you wish to quell your anger. Perhaps even to be of use--"

"I'm here because it is as good a place as any. Which I explained ere you sat down." He blinked and leaned back in his chair.

"You no longer consider yourself their ally?" 

"So you do wish to recruit me?"

"You think me incapable of any other intention?"

"You think me witless enough to assume otherwise? To expect you to possess what ere you lacked?"

"What would you know now of anyone's nature, least of all my own?"

"I know you continue to play on the errancy of others until only their graves would have you elevated that far above them." His tight mouth pursed a little. 

"Yet him you would pardon--"

"You dare to speak of him in the same breath?" 

"Is it not so? And you would speak to me of fools..."

"Leave. Now. Or here I will leave you." 

"You will stay where you are." She knew from the expression on his face that a force far stronger than her will would soon hold her in place. But it was some time before he spoke again. "Of all those who wanted your hand... who would have it still, why do you cling to him?"

"I cling to nothing."

"No. That much is plain." Her cup struck the stool beside her. 

"What would you have me do? What is there, in the whole of Arda, worth fighting for anymore?"

"... He's much to answer for."

"It's naught to do with him."

"It's entirely to do with him--"

"Yet you would even cast judgement? What is the sum of all our mistakes compared to yours?"

"Is that so? Tell me, what did he strive for? What world would he have for you both?"

"You know nothing of his heart--"

"Do I not? What did he do with your love other than to weigh it less than a jewel? Do you imagine he ever truly spared a thought for your feelings? He hung alone long enough to do so--"

"Stop--"

"And at last when he cast himself into flame, what then were you to him? Do you think I speak of this to hurt you? Look at yourself, look at what you have become--" 

"Yet it would be just enough. Though I am already ground to dust, you would reduce me further, still." She was yanked from the chair before she could shut her eyes.

"Stop this madness, I know what you're about and I won't hear of it--"

"You desire it all the same. Whether you accept either of our fates I shall at least go to mine gladly--"

"So you would join him at the last? Why follow one who would not call to you--"

"Do you not understand? I care not for your schemes, for whatever woe next befalls this wretched place--"

"Come away with me." She shook her head slowly. "Then leave, go west--"

"How can you not see? What hope is to be found there? How can you have lived so long, even longer than I, and still want for any of this?! I don't desire quiet, comfort, or even peace. I wish only to forget, to be entirely forgotten--"

"How can that ever be--"

"I possess naught which should matter to you so greatly." His grip tightened. 

"Nevertheless, I won't allow it." She half smiled. 

"It was ever so." He held her gaze as long as he could, knowing that when he opened his eyes once more, he would no longer feel the weight of her beneath his hands. 

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[resowrites]

Rabbit, Rabbit - drabble.

Summary: Henry will stop at nothing to find his easter eggs…

Pairings: AU!Henry Cavill x Reader/Wife!OC

Warnings: fluff, banter/British humour, fake message style, language, pet names, dialogue heavy, nondescript reader/OC body type/appearance, hastily written/lightly proofread.

WC: <600

A/N: Happy easter folks, sorry I’m still not back to posting properly I just don’t have the time atm - R x

Remember, this is pure fiction (as in completely made up), and not in any way meant to reflect reality. My work must not be copied, reposted, or translated elsewhere. Gifs/pics not my own. I hope you all enjoy and thanks for visiting.

Rabbit, Rabbit - drabble.

To be updated on when I post please follow @resowrites and turn on post notifications.

@fanfictionaddiction99 @luclittlepond @caffeinatedfestivalsheep @summersong69 @ushijimbo @livesinfantasyland @jackjanira @thearcana-moonlight

[resowrites]

Oh my gosh are you baaaaack?! 🥹🩷

Nah I pop in now and then and couldn’t help myself when I saw that request 😂 Hope you’re keeping well babe xx

[resowrites]

sorry but i need to see a reader fic where henry gets clowned for that argylle hair 🤣

This was too good a request to pass up, so here. I had to do it fake message style as I didn’t have the time/energy for anything more so sorry it’s not great. Anyway, I hope you enjoy.

And yes I know I haven’t posted my other requests. I wasn’t happy with the last few so I’ll try to edit and post them if I get time - R x

[resowrites]

Houndstooth - drabble request.

Summary: Henry asks for feedback regarding his latest role…

Pairings: AU!Henry Cavill x Reader/Wife!OC

Warnings: fluff, banter/British humour, fake message style, language, pet names, dialogue heavy, nondescript reader/OC body type/appearance, hastily written/lightly proofread.

WC: <1000

A/N: Remember, this is pure fiction (as in completely made up), and not in any way meant to reflect reality. My work must not be copied, reposted, or translated elsewhere. Gifs/pics not my own. I hope you all enjoy and thanks for visiting.

Houndstooth - drabble request.

To be updated on when I post please follow @resowrites and turn on post notifications.

@fanfictionaddiction99 @luclittlepond @caffeinatedfestivalsheep @summersong69 @ushijimbo @livesinfantasyland @jackjanira

[resowrites]

Rip you beautiful, brave woman. There truly isn’t anyone who compares to you x

[resowrites]

I’ve only just found out that @starryeyes2000 passed away earlier this month. She was such a sweet, gentle-natured individual and a fantastic writer who I wish I’d had the chance to interact with more and get to know far better. If any of my mutuals are also big sci-fi, Star Trek fans etc. please read and reblog her work so her memory can be honoured.

My thoughts are with her family, friends and especially her mother, who kindly informed her mutuals of her passing. Please know she was so appreciated here as well.

Rest in peace, darling ~ R x

[resowrites]

Jurassic Park - drabble request (scheduled upload).

Summary: Henry’s parenting skills get a brush up…

Pairings: AU!Dad!Henry Cavill x Wife!OC/Reader

Warnings: fluff, parenting/family life, banter/British humour, pet names, dialogue heavy, nondescript OC body type/appearance, hastily written/lightly proofread.

WC: <600

A/N: Got a request for more dad!Henry fluff, not sure if it’s supposed to be based on my previous series or not but either way, thanks and please enjoy. **This is a scheduled upload, while all interactions continue to be appreciated, they can’t be responded too at this time.**

Remember, this is pure fiction (as in completely made up), and not in any way meant to reflect reality. My work must not be copied, reposted, or translated elsewhere. Gifs/pics not my own. I hope you all enjoy and thanks for visiting.

Jurassic Park - drabble request.

She'd just come down to fetch the new novel she'd hoped to read in the bath, when a commotion sounded from the other room. "MUMMMMMMMY!!!" She sighed, tucked the book under her arm, and headed for the kitchen.

"What? What's going on?" Their son Hal was sitting at the table with his arms crossed and a thoroughly annoyed look on his face. Henry's eyes batted from him, to her, and back again.

"Mummy, I let Daddy have little bite of To… to… cerpops," both adults bit back a smile, "cos you say it good to share. But Daddy ate the wing! How it sposed to fly now?!"

"It can still fly! Just in a circle--"

"Daddy, shush--"

"But it's not like I ate the head! If I did it wouldn't have been able to fly at all--"

"Daddy, be quiet! Then what happened, Hal?"

"I say 'naughty Daddy,' and he laugh!" Henry quickly looked down, only just disguising a giggle.

"How did that make you feel, darling?"

"Cross!"

"And Daddy, how do you feel?"

"Honestly? Still a bit hungry--"

"HENRY--"

"What?! Besides, I shared half my peas--"

"Did Daddy apologise, Hal?"

"I was about to!" But she looked straight into his eyes and he immediately fell silent. Henry turned towards their boy. "I'm really sorry, Hal. Sometimes Daddy gets greedy and eats what he's not supposed to. Can you forgive me?" Their son smiled and patted him on the arm.

"That's okay Daddy, sometimes I greedy too." Hal stood on his chair so he could lean in for a cuddle. She couldn't help but smile.

"Right, Henry One, Henry Two, can I go back upstairs now?!"

"No! Mummy stay and have ice cream!" She struggled to know how to respond when Henry got up from the table.

"Not tonight Hal, Mummy needs some time out--"

"But she no in trouble!" Both adults laughed.

"Of course, not! Mummy's just tired, she's been very busy and taken care of us all day." Hal thought for a moment.

"But who take care of Mummy?" Henry smiled as he lifted him onto the breakfast counter.

"We do! And that also means giving her a break when she needs one. Now, what flavour would you like?" He opened the freezer drawer and pulled out a tub of Neapolitan ice cream.

"Silly Daddy! Want them all!" She quickly took the tub from his hands.

"You can both have two scoops each--"

"That's not fair!" They chimed. She shot Henry an exasperated look.

"Hal, clear your plate for Daddy then go play with Copper and Kal. I'll be in with your ice cream in a minute." He sighed but did as he was told, getting kisses on the head from both of them as he plodded off to the living room.

"Don't think you're getting an extra scoop just for that…"

"As if that was my intention!" They smirked at each other. "And why am I always Henry Two if I'm your husband?!"

"Because Henry One happens to be our son! And just how many dinosaurs did you eat off his plate?"

"Just half a Tocerpops!" She gave him a knowing look. "… As well as a rogue Pterodactyl and a couple of T-Rexs." She rolled her eyes.

"God help me. And if you eat any of his ice cream as well, God help you." She put the lid back on the tub and made for the stairs.

"Hey, there's no need to take it with you--"

"Course there is, otherwise I'd get none!"

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@elizabetharegina @fanfictionaddiction99 @luclittlepond @caffeinatedfestivalsheep @summersong69 @ushijimbo @livesinfantasyland @jackjanira @geralts-yenn

[resowrites]

Rogue’s Company - oneshot.

Summary: Henry and his wife become parents…

Pairings: AU!Henry Cavill x Wife!OC

Warnings: fluff, mention/some detail of birth (I’ve tried to write as sensitively as possible but please avoid if you’re unsure), banter/British humour, language, dialogue heavy, hastily written/lightly proofread.

WC: 2095

A/N: This was supposed to go up next week but I’ve just got too much on. There are a few more pieces that I can post asap but I’m also happy to leave the story here - let me know if you want more.

Please note: as I've tried to write this story as both standalone oneshots and an ongoing series, I now have to use more imagery to flesh out this arc and I'm aware this may disappoint some of you. But I want you all to know, whether you're a regular reader of mine or not, I will always adore and support you no matter who you are or what you look like. Please also note: this is pure fiction (as in completely made up), and not in any way meant to reflect reality. Love you guys ~ R x

My work must not be copied, reposted, or translated elsewhere. Likes, follows, reblogs and comments are thoroughly welcome and appreciated! Gifs/pics not my own. I hope you all enjoy and thanks for visiting!

Rogue's Company.

Her eyes adjusted slowly to the soft but unnatural light. At first, she didn't recognise the off-white walls, punctuated at intervals by bland pictures. After a while, she could hear a strange muffled sound. She realised someone was speaking. "Ollie? Are you awake?" It was Henry.

"W-where… am I?"

"The hospital, darling. You've been asleep the last six hours." Then it dawned on her. She'd given birth that morning.

"Where… where is he?" He smiled softly.

"He's fast asleep, as you should be. Come on, close your eyes." Henry smoothed her hair and hushed her softly, but a burning desire stopped her from slipping back into the depths of sleep. She had to see him.

"Where is he?" His brow furrowed slightly.

"He's just over there, darling. Don't you remember? He guzzled a whole bottle of milk and fell right to sleep…”

"Need to see him--" she tried to sit up slightly but pain shot through her stomach. Her grimace made Henry hold her down by the shoulders.

"Oh no you don't. You've got to try and relax for me darling, or you'll hurt worse." He eyed the buzzer above the bed, wondering if he should call the nurse. That morning suddenly flooded back to her. She remembered the high blue screen, the nauseating sensation as her stomach was pulled apart until… cries. Soft at first and then harder, stronger. They'd had a son. Her need to see him grew desperate.

"Darling, please. I must see him." Henry bit his lip but decided the only thing to do was to wheel the trolley over to her side. He did so painfully slowly, eager not to wake the little bundle wrapped within it. When Henry finally came to a stop, a smile spread across his face. Her eyes were glued to him immediately. Swathed in a white blanket and fitted with a tiny knitted hat, their baby boy was divine. His small fists were bundled up by his cheeks but his bottom lip stuck out, making his expression carefree.

"He's so lovely, isn't he?" He whispered though she could hardly find the words. Instead, tears filled her exhausted, heavy eyes. Henry gently wiped her face as her eyes screwed shut. "Oh darling, you're in pain aren't you?" When she didn't respond, he pressed the red button to the top left of her hospital bed. Moments later, an older woman in bright blue scrubs breezed into the room.

"Good afternoon Mr. and Mrs. Cavill! I was just about to check on you both. How are you dear? Is your stomach giving you grief?" But Ollie couldn't tear her eyes away from the small bundle to her left.

"Sorry, she's a bit preoccupied…" Henry nodded toward their son.

"Ah, well that's alright. I just need to do a couple of checks and then I can bring you both up some dinner if you’d like?" He tried repeating the offer to his wife but her attention was still fixed solely on their little boy. The nurse went about checking her as quickly and carefully as she could. She also gave her some stronger pain relief. But instead of feeling sleepy, Ollie rallied and became fully aware that she was now a mother. Her sobs came hard and fast.

"Darling, what is it?" The nurse patted Henry gently on the arm.

"It's alright, it's just overwhelming isn't it?" Ollie nodded, somewhat embarrassed that she was feeling so overcome. "I just need to take him for a few minutes so I can see how he's doing as well?" She felt reluctant for anyone to go anywhere near him, but she was hardly in a position to resist. He stroked her hand and reassured her when she could hear their little boy stir the minute he was placed on a table at the other end of the room.

"Is he alright?! You're not hurting him?!" Henry and the nurse chuckled.

"He's fine darling! And I'm sure once the nurse is done she'll let you hold him?" He looked over at her for confirmation.

"Yes, of course! But you'll have to support his bottom, she won't be strong enough just yet to hold him by herself. Let me see now, he's still six pounds, three ounces, and eighteen inches long…" Ollie craned her neck to try and get a better view.

"Has he still got two balls?" She swatted Henry with her hand but immediately regretted it when the sensation reverberated through her stomach. She gathered her strength to try and sit up properly. He dashed to help her.

"I'm fine love, stop fussing over me… are those measurements okay? It seems pretty small." The nurse smiled softly as she put their son back in his babygrow.

"It's somewhat on the small side but he's all good, you've got a very sweet little boy. Well, I'll leave you three to it. I'll be back with dinner in about half an hour, if you need help using the bathroom just buzz. For now, try and get some rest and when you're ready with a name, just let me know." She then smiled, handed their son over to Henry, and made her way from the room. For a while, he just stood holding him, rocking gently back and forth. His whimpering hadn't quite died down but Ollie couldn’t stand it any longer.

"Henry, I can't see him! Please, put him on my chest--"

"Alright, alright, here he is…" Henry ducked down, careful not to put too much pressure on either her chest or stomach. Immediately she was struck by his eyes - bright blue like his father’s. She felt her lip tremble. He just chuckled softly. "So… what do you think? He woke up an hour after you fell asleep and just gurgled away happily in his cot. He hasn't cried once!" She stared down at his little face and felt a strange sensation spread through her chest. It was pure, unconditional love.

"He's… glorious. Even though he looks just like you!" It was true. From the dark tufts of hair on his head to the strong jaw and double chin, there was no denying who his father was.

"Yeah, but he's got your ears, look," Henry rotated him slightly so she could see the side of his head.

"Well that's a relief…" They both laughed. “Wow. I can't believe we made that…" He laughed again.

"I know, I still can't even believe he's here! It feels like only yesterday you told me you were pregnant…" Henry kissed her cheek for what felt like the hundredth time that day. But her eyes were still glued to their son who was cooing to himself.

"Bloody hell… he's chatty like you as well."

"You should have heard him earlier, he was having a whole conversation with the nurse--" He lifted him up to place him back in the cot.

"No, don't. Don't take him away!"

"But darling my arm's going dead! I'm just putting him back down for a little while so you can rest…"

"Fine, but pull that trolley down a bit so I can still see him…" Henry did as he was told, smiling at her enraptured face.

"So, I take it you're pleased then?"

"Pleased? I'm besotted. I never want him out of my sight again--"

"You know you cried and cried when they had to take him away to clean him up?" Her eyes narrowed.

"Really? I have no memory of that…" A pit opened in his stomach.

"Do you remember him being born?" She tried to think.

"Only in fragments. I remember his cries, and that he was all slippery. Apart from that my head's still foggy." Henry crouched over and stroked her head.

"It'll probably come back to you as you recover. The surgeon also did a great job, the incision wasn't that big as he's only a wee thing--"

"It certainly doesn't feel small…" She winced as her mind fell back to the soreness she could feel at the base of her stomach.

"Well, give the drugs a chance to kick in, and if you don't feel better in a little while I'll call the nurse back. So, do we have a name?" A small smile curled her lips.

"Yep. Hal."

"Hal?"

"Yeah, don't you like it?"

"Of course, but why that name?"

"Don't you know your Shakespeare? It's short for Henry. You know, as in Henry IV? And you call yourself an actor—"

"You… you wanna name our boy after me?"

"Well, technically Henry V…" She smiled mischievously but he was too choked to speak. "What I also like is that it rhymes with Kal." Henry snorted.

"Hmm, are you sure you don't want to wait until the morphine wears off?" She gave him a knowing look. "Fine, Hal it is! But if he's named after me then it's only fair he's named after you as well--"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean his middle name should be Oliver. What do you think?"

"My name isn’t Oliver, you little shit!" She went to thwack Henry only for the pain to pull her back to the bed. He smirked.

"Mmm, it’s gunna be a fun couple of weeks… and technically it is! You were named after Oliver—"

"Yes, yes, alright. Hal Oliver, it is. Poor little sod. Well, in for a penny, in a pound, let's use another of your names—"

"What, you mean Dalgliesh?"

"No, you twat, William." Henry snorted but felt pride swelling in his chest once again.

"Hal Oliver William. You know that spells 'How?' He could go by Howie—"

"Yeah, no." He laughed.

"Well 'Hal's' perfect, just like him. And his Mum." Henry leaned closer to kiss her on the forehead. "Well done, darling. I'm so, so proud of you."

"I'm just grateful he's here and doing okay--"

"Me too. Can you believe we're parents? It feels so weird!"

"It does. But in a way, it also feels like he's always been here, as a part of us… I know that doesn't make sense."

"No, I know what you mean. I just couldn't imagine life without him now. We're a family of five! Oh my God, my mum and dad are going to be so thrilled—"

"Have you told them yet?"

"Yeah, though I haven't sent a picture. I wanted to wait until you were awake. Shall I take one of you holding him? That way we can send it to everyone?" She smiled and nodded. But just as he went to pick up their son, the nurse shuffled back into the room wheeling a tray of fresh sandwiches and a bowl of strawberries. "Oh, great, I'm hungry." Ollie giggled and the nurse smiled in her direction.

"Well, I'm glad to see you looking a bit brighter! Just let me quickly check you over again and then I'll get out of your hair. How are you feeling now?"

"Elated," she sighed.

"He is a gorgeous little thing. The spitting image of his father, right down to the chin!"

"It's alright, I still love him…" Henry and the nurse burst out laughing.

"So, have you settled on a name?" They smiled at each other.

"Yes, our son is called Hal Oliver William," her voice broke.

"What is it, darling?!"

"It's nothing, it's just… that's the first time I've ever called him our son." He brushed the tears from his own cheeks and gave her another kiss.

"Aww, that's wonderful! I'm so thrilled for you both. And it looks like you're recovering well, your blood pressure's good too. When you're feeling a little stronger, you can have a walk around and take a shower. All being well, you can all head home in the next day or so. Well, I'll leave you three in peace. Just buzz if you need anything." In a whirl, she was gone. Henry began breaking the sandwiches into smaller pieces so he could feed Ollie directly. Normally she'd have fed herself but she was grateful for the help as her whole body still ached from the procedure.

"There we are, just try and have a little bit for me." He beamed at her, still feeling shocked and relieved it was all over. Henry knew their lives would never be the same, but already parenthood was proving to be so much better than he'd expected. He felt like the three of them could take on the world. "Well, my darling girl, are you happy?" She swallowed her small mouthful and gazed up at Henry.

"The happiest I've ever been in my whole life."

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@elizabetharegina @fanfictionaddiction99 @luclittlepond @caffeinatedfestivalsheep @summersong69 @ushijimbo @livesinfantasyland @jackjanira

[resowrites]

Father’s Day - oneshot.

Summary: Henry hears his baby’s heartbeat for the first time…

Pairings: AU!Henry Cavill x Wife!OC

Warnings: fluff, banter/British humour, language, dialogue heavy, nondescript OC body type/appearance, hastily written/lightly proofread.

WC: 2202

A/N: This was supposed to go up Sunday but I’ve been crazy busy so many apologies! My work must not be copied, reposted, or translated elsewhere. Likes, follows, reblogs and comments are thoroughly welcome and appreciated! Gifs/pics not my own. I hope you all enjoy and thanks for visiting!

Father’s Day - oneshot.

The dark room hummed with the sounds of monitors, punctuated by the occasional beep or click. Ollie lay quietly on the bed, feeling so nervous she was holding her breath. "Breathe darling, everything will be okay." The sonographer spun around in the direction of Henry's voice.

"He's right. Just relax and we'll get the scan underway in a few minutes." She turned back to continue filling out the questionnaire on her screen. "Okay so, I've got your height and weight. Your blood pressure results were also normal. I just need to know how you're feeling at the moment. Any sickness or diarrhoea in the last 24 hours or so?"

"No," was all Ollie managed to squeak in response.

"Any dizziness or confusion?"

"No more than usual," came Henry's immediate response. Ollie rolled her eyes while the sonographer laughed.

"Okay, and how are you feeling in yourself? Any depression or anxiety?" Ollie struggled to know how to respond. Fortunately, he answered for her.

"She's fine, a little overtired and nervous about today but that's all."

"Good. And I understand. But you've reached the end of your first trimester so you should start to feel a bit better soon. Finally, any stomach cramping or changes in bowel habits?" Again, Henry spoke first.

"She's been a little constipated--"

"Henry!"

"What? You always knew you were full of shit--"

"Oh my God, I could kill you!" The sonographer's head flicked between them both.

"That's perfectly normal. I would also start thinking of a birth plan."

"What should this include?" The sonographer was impressed with his attentiveness.

"Well, I would just start thinking about where to give birth, what your preferences are for pain relief and assisted delivery, how you want your newborn to be cared for, and so on." Henry nodded eagerly. "Anyway, let's crack on and have a look at your womb. I'm just going to apply the jelly now, it'll be a little cold at first…" He took his wife's hand and they smiled at each other expectantly. Moments later, a grey mass shaped vaguely like a baby flashed up on the monitor. Henry felt his breath catch in his throat. The sonographer smiled knowingly. "Ah, there we are. The first image of your baby… what do you guys think?" Ollie laughed with a mixture of happiness and shock. Henry remained silent until she peered up at him, surprised to see him so taken back. He swallowed hard.

"Wow," was all Henry managed to say. The two women giggled. The next few minutes passed quietly, what with the pair mesmerised by their baby's movements and the sonographer busy recording information. "Well, they're certainly a busy little thing…" He watched as their baby's fists bobbed back and forth.

"Is that normal?" The sonographer grinned reassuringly at Ollie.

"Yep, your baby's now fully formed. The organs, limbs, bones, and muscles are all in place."

"How come I can't feel them though if they're moving about that much?"

"Don't worry, you won't start feeling any movements until you're between sixteen and twenty-four weeks. Most first-time mothers don't feel anything before twenty weeks."

"How is everything else looking?" Henry looked at the screen pleadingly.

"Everything's looking good so far. Baby appears to be growing at the normal rate, and as you can hear, their heartbeat's nice and strong." He felt a tear roll down his cheek. Ollie was similarly overwhelmed. "Your placenta's hanging somewhat low but that should correct itself in time…" Ollie could feel her smile turn upside down.

"But what if it doesn't?"

"Oh don't worry, it's really nothing to be concerned about. It's quite common and as I said, it's something that usually corrects itself. Nine out of ten times, the placenta shifts to the upper part of the womb. However, if you notice any bleeding in the last three months of your pregnancy, you must let us know immediately." They both looked at each other concerned. "But please don't fret, placenta previa is actually quite rare and there's no indication at this stage that that's the case."

"What's placenta previa?" Henry cut in.

"It's when the placenta blocks or partially obstructs the cervix." The sonographer nodded, impressed.

"That's correct. It's nice to see your husband's been reading up. Placenta previa is problematic because it means the baby can't be delivered naturally. But we'll know at your second scan whether the placenta has moved or not. Until then I see no cause for alarm." But Ollie was still biting her lip, worried. The sonographer tried to reassure her. "Everything else is looking great though--"

"Can you determine the sex?"

"Henry, I said I didn't want to know!" The sonographer chuckled.

"Don't worry. Although their sex organs are well developed by now they're a bit too wriggly for me to get a better look. I should warn you though, sometimes you find out by accident at the second scan--"

"You mean, if his todger's big enough?"

"Henry!" The sonographer laughed again.

"Yes, but just let the sonographer know ahead of time and they'll do their best to keep it a secret. Do either of you have any more questions for me?" To Ollie's surprise, he responded immediately.

"Yes, when we will know the results of her blood and serum tests?"

"Her doctor will contact her within two weeks if the results are normal. If not then you should hear back within a few days--"

"And what about her due date?"

"Well from the information you've provided and the baby's measurements, her due date should be the 26th of December." Henry and Ollie's mouths dropped open.

"Wait, our baby will be born on Boxing Day?"

"Well, that's just an estimate. Usually, babies are born within a week on either side of the due date."

"So the baby could be born on Christmas Day?!" He was glad she'd asked because he'd had the exact same thought.

"Yes that's a possibility, but it's impossible to say for sure. So Dad, how's your Father's Day going so far?"

"Incredible… we're absolutely thrilled. Can we get copies of the scan to take away?"

"Yep, I can print those off for you now. Would you like a copy of the video as well?"

"Yes!" They chimed in unison. The sonographer then left them alone for several minutes while she put together the necessary paperwork. Ollie looked up to find Henry grinning down at her like a madman.

"So, thoughts?"

"Well I'm a little worried about my placenta…" He sighed.

"Oh darling, she said not to worry. Don't let it overshadow what a wonderful experience this was--"

"But aren't you concerned?"

"Not really, I've read up on placenta previa and even if that's what you've got, it's easy enough to manage and just means you'll need a cesarean instead--"

"But I don't want a cesarean!"

"Ollie you're getting way ahead of yourself, the sonographer wasn't concerned so you shouldn't be either. Anyway, what did you think of the baby? I was shocked to see them looking so well formed already--"

"Well, what did you expect it to look like, a sea-monkey?" Henry laughed.

"Aren't you happy though? She said everything looked great!"

"Of course I'm happy, I just hope everything continues going smoothly…" He leaned down further and kissed her forehead.

"It will sweetheart, come on, let's get you cleaned up, and then we'll get to my parents for lunch." Henry carefully wiped her stomach with some paper towels, placed a kiss near her belly button, and gently sat her up. The sonographer then reentered the room.

"Here we are, baby's first pictures." She handed a copy to each of them and he felt a lump in his throat once again.

"Thank you so much… we'll cherish these forever." The sonographer smiled.

"I'm glad I was able to help. I'm so happy for you both. Remember, you're free to contact us again if you have any questions. For now, just relax and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy."

***

"Wow, I can't believe this is our actual baby…" Ollie stared down lovingly at the black-and-white picture.

"I know, it seems so unreal… and yet there it is. Proof in black and white!"

"I can't see a nub, so it could still be a boy or a girl."

"What nub, what are you talking about?"

"Oh, haven't you heard of the nub theory? Guess you've got some more reading to do," she teased. "The nub is a tube that eventually develops into genitals. The theory goes that if the nub is at a thirty-degree or more angle, you're having a boy and for a girl, it's almost straight."

"So what does the picture show?"

"Well, that's just it, the baby was moving about too much for the nub to be captured."

"Well, I imagine at the next scan we'll have a better idea. The Cavills are well endowed so I expect at least a ninety-degree angle." She shook her head.

"I still can't believe I've bred with you…"

"What? If he has a widget as big as his brain he'll be unstoppable!"

"Will you please stop?! For all we know, we could be having a girl!"

"I hope so." She looked at Henry surprised.

"Is that right? I had no idea you had a preference…"

"Well, of course, I'd love a boy as well. But there are so many boys in the family already. And you know I'm a big soppy git under this brazen exterior, I'd love a daddy's girl--"

"Yeah, but I'm more of a tomboy which means she might be as well. Just cos we're having a girl it doesn't mean she'll love pink and princesses."

"No, but just in case, I'm down for having makeovers and my nails painted." She giggled.

"Will you promise not to make fun of her though? Regardless of whatever she likes?"

"Of course not!"

"Oh please, my dad made fun of everything. The boybands I loved, the clothes I wore, even the way I spoke." He regarded her sadly.

"Darling, one thing I can promise is that I will never be like your father."

"Good. I also want you to really listen to her. She has to have the best role model in you so she's treated well by other men--"

"She won't be allowed to date! Or get married… or leave home!"

"Henry, don't be ridiculous! They don't stay little forever." Henry harrumphed.

"Oh stop, they're not even born yet and you're already imagining them leaving home!"

"Well it'll come sooner than you think," she teased.

"Let's just focus on getting them here first. And I want you to promise that if we have a boy, you'll keep him close and do everything you can to protect him."

"Oh darling, of course I will. In truth, I'd prefer a boy. Growing up with girls was hard work. I've got no nephews on my side either. Just so long as he’s not a mini you, we should be fine…"

"What's wrong with him being a mini-me?!" She looked at him exasperatedly.

"Henry, I don't think I could cope with two Cavills teasing me nonstop, eating us out of house and home, and making a mess everywhere they go! Now, if he poops like you as well--"

"Oh stop, you're the gassiest out of the two of us!"

"No, I bloody well am not! You've got more hot air than a zeppelin!"

"Well, at least I don't sound like a burst one at night!" Her mouth dropped open.

"You little shit! You've got a cheek saying the mother of your child is loud at night when you sound like a frog in a swamp! Anyway, we can't bicker like this in front of them either."

"I think that might be a tall order…"

"Well, either way, I want them to feel secure and safe in the knowledge their parents love each other."

"Oh darling, they'll never question that. Even if I do occasionally," Henry shot her a wink and she rolled her eyes. "Now, when are we going to tell everyone?" She looked at him confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we're nearly out of the first trimester, it should be safe to start telling everyone now. I can't wait, it's so exciting! How shall we do it?" She bit her lip.

"I don't know Henry, it still makes me a bit uneasy."

"Oh sweetheart, you can see from the scan how well they're doing. If not now, then when?"

"I suppose you're right. But did you really want to tell everyone today? I don't want to upstage your mother's lovely meal."

"Don't be daft, it'll be the best Father's Day gift we could give my dad. It's certainly been the best Father's Day for me. They'll both be thrilled, I promise." She smiled and pulled out her phone.

"Oh go on then soppy bollocks…" Henry beamed as he took the phone. He then quickly dialled the number and pressed the speakerphone button. Eventually, a woman answered.

"Mum? Hi, yeah we're on our way now. Sorry, we got stuck in traffic on our way back from an appointment. In fact, can you go fetch Dad? Ollie and I have something very special to tell you both…"

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@elizabetharegina @fanfictionaddiction99 @luclittlepond @caffeinatedfestivalsheep @summersong69 @ushijimbo @livesinfantasyland @jackjanira