restbeyondtheriver

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Detail of Saint Catherine of Alexandria by Caravaggio (1598-99). 

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Just randomly clicked on an insta post recommended on my feed and it was my own Tumblr post I hate this house

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blood is thick but tumblr mutuals are forever <3

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Send in prayers tonight & I will pray for you in the morning. :)

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I have been hearing the phrase “expel hate” over & over again since I prayed it.  I think I imagined I would shove it away from me, mightily turning the other cheek in a moment.  I find that when I am working through it in real time it reminds me of Jesus leaving people who did not understand Him.  It is not as reverent a process as I once thought, & I am not so dignified when I walk away from it.  It is my own hate, my own blind spots.  It is not so much a fight as it is a leaving.  It’s not so much mighty as it is looking at myself for who I’m really going to be from now on when pressed.  It’s a very quieting & revealing thing.

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Moments of Spring in the Beartooth Range

(c) riverwindphotography, April 2025

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Right click -> save as -> ancient curse

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Anaïs Nin, The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol.III: 1939-1944

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Reading Joseph expecting to see myself in his weeping. I will find it. I’m sorry. I’m just trying to understand.

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What is it about being somewhere where my interest is on display that makes me totally disinterested.

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Fabian Künzel-Zeller

Blossom

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wikipedia no longer being anywhere near the top of search results when looking up anything feels eviscerating

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In our helplessness… that’s where God moves. Do not be afraid, little heart.

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Mia Wasikowska behind the scenes of Jane Eyre

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I think my favorite declaration about God in the Bible is said by Rahab in Joshua 2:11 "& as soon as we heard it, our hearts melted, & there was no spirit left in any man because of you, for the LORD your God, He is God in the heavens above & on the earth beneath."

I just love those differentiations of all the peoples belief: the we whose hearts melted, the spies she’s speaking to & of, God who is yours & more than being mine too, He is. Her own belief inside is being confessed, but it moves out of her in into the frighteningly big eternity.

So similarly personal like Ruth’s more known declaration, but not so in the that linear individual approach to that same substance. Ruth says in Ruth 1:16, "Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, & where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, & your God my God."

Like a single horizontal acknowledgement, a covenant to Naomi, leads her toward Him. Whereas Rahab phrasing of it seems a chord flung out & up in front of her, over the two spies whose hearts own melting spoke to hers, & the acknowledgement is caught by God in the cosmos. Ruth is clinging. Rahab is accepting. One leaves with. One stays behind. It's the same following.

I don't know. Acceptance for these old testament women looking at these people whose testimonies melted their hearts was simply: God is scarier than my old home, & I am willing to leave it to know why.

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Forever thinking about Megan Ashley being asked what made her fully surrender to the Lord & her saying “I’ve offended the Lord enough & I’ve hurt enough people.”