reticulathefirst

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David Mellon (American, b.1955) "Wolfskin"

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The reading comprehension and overall common sense on this website is piss poor.

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hold on something just happened

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raising my son on a strict media diet of Portal, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and Mythbusters in an attempt to resurrect the extinct species Pre-Gamergate Smug Nerd Boy

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I wish they could invent a medical device that temporarily transfers your symptoms and pain to the doctor treating you and it worked like a shock collar. “I think light exercise would-.” and then bam they’re rolling around the floor clutching their stomach in agony and dry heaving.

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Happy pride month to my dad. When I came out as bi to him, this man googled what it ment, look at me and said "ohh. Yeah. You get that from me. You'd have far more siblings of I only shaged women." And went right back to his work emails.

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i h8 when people see girls wearing flannels or basketball shorts and stuff and assume theyre butch. Thats just a femme on her day off. We cant all be on the clock 24/7 as perfect women and be done up all the time lol. What if shes doing laundry. What if thats her lovers outfit because she forgot a change of clothes. What if she just cant afford the wardrobe yet. Dont call a girl butch unless she tells you she is. This goes doubly for trans women and triply for mixed and nonwhite women who all have to deal with being masculanized without their consent everywhere already. Let girls be comfortable pleaaaaaaaase

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Your mouse art is adorable! Mariella's so cute, specifically in a way that reminds me of Hilda by Duane Bryers. Cute, curvy, and unapologetically living their lives to the happiest! <3

Aw yeah I miss when she was doing rounds on tumblr! Here's a little homage to one of the pieces here

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its like everyone literally forgot that elf women have larger penises than elf men

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i can’t stand “it’s not that deep” attitudes like even if it really really isn’t that deep just PLAY WITH ME. just fucking PLAY. have a meaningless but deep analytical conversation with me. just like think about shit for fun. does anyone else like to think about stuff for fun. it’s so lonely

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Dame Archer kicks McDougal’s Scots ass there in the rain at the Washington Midsummer Renaissance Faire - August 11, 2018 - Photo by Douglas Herring

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i love sluts i love perverts i love dykes i love faggots i love aromantics i love freaks i love librarians i love ibuprofen

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Elodie, ive been sad lately about capitalist mega-corporations and the unbalanced distribution of wealth in the world. Could you tell us a story?

I’m sorry to hear that. I’ve been in some kind of hideous Mood this week, so I offer here a true story that happened to me in May.

Right: May in the city. I looked into the doorway of an empty shop and saw what appeared to be a lumpy thrashing monster, that was squeaking and groaning and crying. Upon a closer look it was a huddled form under an elderly patterned duvet, with a baby dinosaur jumping on it. The enormous baby bird was wailing and throwing itself against the glass shop window. The sleeping bag was writhing and whimpering. It was very hard to make sense of it.

The fledgling magpie was clearly lost, trying to get through the glass while being attacked by a flailing paisley amoeba-monster. The form under the duvet was presumably a rough sleeper who didn’t know what was going on, but clearly wasn’t happy about it.

I figured that as they were both only getting more upset, I would simply lift the bird off and point it in a safer direction. I have also been trained in handling birds, and I thought I could manage the risk.

The baby saw my approach and tried to get under the duvet, increasing the trembling from under the duvet. I mean, how do you start that conversation?

“I’m so sorry for bothering you,” I babbled, “I will just get this, er, baby magpie off you.”

“This what” said the lump.

“This baby magpie.”

“…You’re joking.”

“I’m not. I’m sorry. Just a moment… ” the magpie just dangled like a puppy once I got it safely between my hands, “Okay, here, have a look.”

The lump writhed and out popped the face of a young man. “Oh my god,” He said. He was extremely relieved.

Oh my god, said the magpie too, its tiny young mind blown.

They stared at each other for ages and ages. The magpie had thought the man was a monster. And the man had thought the magpie was a nightmare!

The magpie was returned to its happy parents, and the young man was rapidly surrounded by his cohort and handed a joint, and we all started our day.

I really like to think about that moment when they looked at each other, and they were so surprised, and their situations suddenly seemed so much more manageable. It was just a magpie! It was only a guy under a blanket! And suddenly they could make sense of it…

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me as a writer