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WORLD TOUR- .15 the end... kinda

the end.... kinda

After we got settled into the hotel rooms, they decided Tom and I got to share our own room, and Gustav and Jo got their own too. Then Georg and Bill have their own as well. Tom already changed into pajamas just sweatpants and a wife-beater tank top. His dreads were also down. He looked so focused on his phone as well. I just wanted to kiss all over his face. 

“I’m going to go check on your brother.” I tell him, fixing my tank top that I just changed into.  “Why?” He glances up from his device, I stare at him for a moment. “Did you not notice how he was acting earlier?” I asked him, his face scrunches as he tries to remember what she’s talking about. “He was quiet, I guess.” He shrugs, I roll my eyes and scoff. 

“What is going on with you two?” I throw my hands up, just deciding on leaving the room instead of dealing with his jealousy he obviously has towards his twin brother for absolutely no reason at fucking all. I go down to Georg and Bill’s room, knocking a few times, hearing the talking stop and then footsteps make their way to the door. The door swings open to be Georg with a sweet smile on his face. “Want to talk to Bill?” I just nod my head. “Room’s all yours.” He welcomes me in then leaves himself. 

“Hey, Billy!” I grin, plopping down on the bed across from his, he glances at me but goes back to his phone. Just like his fucking brother. “Okay, I feel the tension.” I whistle out, getting back up and sitting next to him. “Can you please talk to me?” I pleaded with him, he sighs, putting his phone down. Still, he doesn’t even glance my way at all. 

“[Name], how long was it going on for?” He questions me and my breathing hitches and I nervously giggle. “Remember when I found out Jace cheated on me?” His head quickly turns at me, almost snapping his neck if he did it any faster. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He got up on his knees and grabbing my shoulders slightly shaking me back and forth. 

“We agreed to keep it a secret, why we’re you being so quiet earlier though?” I took his hands from my shoulders, getting on my knees and he frowns. “I felt guilty for making Tom jealous.” He tells me and I raise my eyebrow. “It’s not like you did it on purpose.” He stayed silent and I gasped.

“No, no, listen! Listen before you think anything.” He shushes me, laughing to himself a little bit. 

“I didn’t know you guys we’re a thing so I was trying everything to get him to ask you out.” He explains and I sit there for a moment before breaking out into a small fit of laughter. “Well, thank you. It did push a conversation we’ve been needing to have.” I pulled him into a hug causing us to fall back on the bed. I roll to his side and we lay there as we continue to talk. 

“He’s in a mood now though.” I snicker, thinking of my boyfriend who obviously is still jealous for no reason. “Really?” Bill shakes his head. 

“Yeah, should we go mess with him?” I smile, “Duh, let’s go.” We both scurry off the bed, rushing out of the hotel room. Once we got to the door of my shared room I struggle to put the key in, he starts laughing and once I finally get it we squeezed into the door together. “Tom Kaulitz!” I smile, both of us jumping on the bed and causing the dreadhead to drop his phone trying to get us to calm down. “Tommy!” I smile falling onto him making him grunt but catch me either way, holding me in his arms to stop me from getting up. 

Bill laughs and jumps onto both of us. “We should get everyone and watch a movie.” I huff, trying to catch my breath. “I’ll get them.” Bill says, pushing on both of us to get up. 

He didn’t even talk to Tom like I was hoping we would’ve been able to do. 

They’re brothers so I shouldn’t step into something like that.

I look up at Tom who was already looking down at me. “You’re pretty,” I whisper, he makes a face that almost looks like he was offended. “What?” I laugh, he just rolls his eyes. “You’re stupid.” He kisses me. “Well, that’s rude.” I shove his face away from mine.

OKAY I'm going to be honest I was getting really bored of this story and I still am and i was looking back on the story and I don't like how it is turning out. I stopped planning out the chapters and it just got super messy. I'm kind of giving up on this story because I can't go back and just rewrite it how I want to. So what I am going to do is make a different story, plan this out better and start writing it. Also I'm going to be honest I just went through some really heavy shit these past few days. I've still been writing but since I am not home I don't have my notebooks I usually write ideas for chapters and plan it out. SO I'm making a new story tonight and planning that all and hoping to have that out in a few hours. Thank you for supporting this story and liking it even though personally I think it is not the best and I'm sorry I got really sucky on posting regularly. usually authors on wattpad do that all the fucking time but I want to get better at it. So it doesn't happen again fr.

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I’m feeling really emotional and I want to make an angsty story😈

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WORLD TOUR- .14

Later in the night I watched Tom stare at me numerous times as my family nags him about the “rumor” he said to my aunt who of course spreads it. I obviously go along with it. There’s nothing else I can do really. I’m stuck telling people we’re dating and now it reaches the rest of the group not just Bill anymore. Being annoyed at this point I walk to the guest bedroom that was really mine when I would come here for the summer years ago. 

Gently shutting the door behind me, I fell back on the bed and put my forearm over my eyes. Taking a deep breath I heard the door open. Wanting to roll my eyes I lift my torso up. “Can we talk?” The door closes, I glance up through my lashes to see Tom. “Mmm it is needed, come sit.” I patted the spot next to me, he listens and does as I said.

“I’m sorry for telling your Aunt that we’re dating.” He takes his hat off, holding it and playing with the edges of it. “I should’ve just let you handle it.” He tells me, I stare at him for a moment, figuring out what I want to say to him. His head goes down as he gets more and more embarrassed. “Can you please-”

“Tom, are you serious about this?” I question him, his face contorts in confusion. “Of course I’m serious about this apology.” He tells me, I just shake my head in return. “No, Tom. I’m saying between you and I. Are you actually serious about this becoming something?” I explain further, I never stopped looking at him, my expression never faltered. 

“Tom, if you’re not and this won’t be something in the future I don’t want to continue.” His eyes widen, my eyes follow down to his hands, they now look like they’re shaking but I can’t back down from this conversation.

“[Name], I…” He pauses, starting to play on his lip ring. “So are you serious or not, Tom?” I repeat myself but I’m slowly starting to feel what the answer is. “[Name] I really.. I really do love you.” He sighs out like it was the first time saying something like this. “I want to love you, I just… I’m not a good person to love?” He almost questions himself. 

“Tom,” I take his face into my hands.

“Why do you think that?” I watch as his eyes tear up but he blinks it away quickly. “I’m just me, [Name]. I’m not important, I’m replacable.” He tells me and as he speaks it feels like his voice breaks. He grabs my hands off his face, holding them now. “[Name], I-” I shake my head.

“I’m going to have to cut you off now, Tom.” I press my lips together for a short pause before continuing on what I was saying. “Replacable? You really think, Bill would think that? As everyone could be replaceable, you’re not to us. In any way, shape or form.” I tell him, this looks like it’s been on his mind for a while. Tears finally dropped from his eyes and I know no matter what I say it can’t stop how he feels. I just want him to know how I feel. That I don’t think that way. 

“I have had this love for you since we we’re literal kids, Tom. No one could win my heart as easily as you did.” I take my hands from his, wiping his tears. “[Name], I want this. I want this for the rest of my life but I don’t deserve it.” He inhales sharply, staring down at his lap. I bite my lip. 

“What can we do to make you think you do deserve this?” I drag my hands down his arms, his eyes avoid to meet mine. He doesn’t respond, I sit there letting him collect his thoughts to know what he wants. As the minutes pass by I play with my fingers, the anxiety building in my stomach as I wait. 

“I want to be official.” He speaks up.  My eyes widen, honestly I was expecting the worst to come out of this conversation. “Like I told your Aunt. I’m your boyfriend.” He winks, my eyes water up and he leans in to kiss me. “You really want this? You don’t care if everyone knows?” I quiz him, getting on my knees on the bed to hover over him by a little bit. 

“I want everyone to know.” He holds me by the waist, I lean down to kiss him once more on the lips. I smile, my legs going on the sides of his to straddle him. 

“We should go back out there before they try looking for us and see us in this position. As much as I’d love to see where this leads.” He scrunches his nose slightly and pats my thigh. I sigh, kissing him on the lips to throw him off as I was about to stand back up but instead of letting me do so he grabs me by my pants and pulls me back into a kiss. 

This kiss getting heated and growing into a makeout. Not even hearing the door open. “I’m so sorry!” I squeeze my eyes shut, mentally cursing myself out. Of course it’s my little cousin too. The door slams back shut and I hide my face in Tom’s neck. “Shit.” His body shakes and you guessed it, he’s fucking laughing. “It’s not funny, Tom.” I push away and glare at him. 

“I don’t know.” He pushes his lap up causing me to basically fall closer onto his chest. If that was even possible. “Can we please just go out before she starts telling people we we’re having sex.” I shove him, causing him to fall back onto the bed. I climb off of him, using his lower stomach to push causing him to groan. Yes it was on purpose.

He gets up, walking right behind me. Taking my hand into his. 

The rest of the party we acted like we would’ve behind closed doors, super close to each other. Him always having to touch me while I try to stop him. He loves affection along with PDA. As I.. not so much. But it makes him happy so I try my best to give in most of the time. 

At the end of the night my Grandparents let me use their van just until we have our tour bus again. All of us climbing inside, Tom sits in the front. Also they’re going to take care of Spring Roll for the rest of the tour which is pretty great, I feel bad having to leave her alone all the time due to this tour. She loves my grandparents so she will be spoiled and having the time of her life in that huge house. 

Tom puts his hand on my thigh as I drive to the hotel we’re staying at which makes the “kids” in the back make some noises. “What?” I roll my eyes. “How come we were the last ones to know about this thing between you two?” Georg asks, he almost sounds upset, now starting to make me feel a little guilty about the whole ordeal. 

“Yeah, we found out at your party and then you guys like disappear for 30 minutes doing god knows what.” Gustav chimes in and usually Gustav doesn’t get upset about things like this. “Are you guys really this upset with us?” I raise an eyebrow, my lips turned into a frown as well. 

“We’re not upset just confused because it seems out of nowhere in your new found friendship.” Johanna simply shrugs, I nod in understanding but Tom’s face is furrowed like he wants to say something. It just isn’t coming out into words. He looks more mad if anything. “That makes sense.” I hum, turning into the hotel parking lot. It was right by where we’re going to perform in Detroit. Since it’s not a weekend day or no sport has a game day it’s surprisingly not busy. Not a lot of traffic!

What bothers me the most is how quiet Bill is being. 

“We weren’t going to do it at my parents place, I’ll tell you guys that for sure.” I sigh, putting the van in park. “What changed?” Georg tilts his head.

“Well my aunt thought bill and I we’re the ones who were dating. Tom got jealous and butt in. Then it went around my family. We had to talk that’s why we disappeared for those 30 minutes.” I explain to them, suddenly they’re laughing. Even Bill chuckles. 

He’s upset about something though and I need to figure it out. 

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WORLD TOUR- .13

Once we got to the other side of the airport to the pick-up area, I whip out my phone to text my cousin. I sort of feel a person come up to my left, standing quite close to me. I don’t look up from my phone as I just guessed that it was Bill or Johanna. “Mm, she should…” I look up from my phone, to sight out where she should be. “There she is!” I turn to look at who I again thought was Johanna or Bill but instead, it was Tom who smiled sweetly at me. 

“C’mon, I found her.” I tell the rest of the group, choosing to ignore the boy next to me.

Not out of malicious intent but I’m just excited to see my cousin. “[Name]!!” She screams, “Alyssia!!” I shout in response, giving all my things to Tom and then running to her. 

“I missed you so much!” She mutters in my ear as we hug tightly. It’s not often I get to see this part of my family so when I do it’s extremely amazing. “I missed you too! Let me introduce you and Willow.” I pull away from the hug, looking over I spot Willow, my cousin's best friend who we call her lover. 

“Hey, Will!” I wave to her, she takes her hands out of her sweater pockets, waving back and then bumping my fist once we’re closer.

“Alright everyone, this is my cousin Alyssia and her best friend Willow.” I motion to them. “Obviously you guys already know Jo. This is Bill, Georg, Gustav… and Tom.” I point them out one by one. Alyssia and Willow shake their hands as I say their names. 

“Okay, your grandparents are itching to see you right now so we better get going.” Alyssia claps her hands, she pops open her trunk and we throw our stuff in the back. “My car is a little small for everyone to fit so sit on some laps.” She tells us, we all glance at each other knowing exactly how this is about to go down. I sit down regularly, then Gustav sits next to me and Georg on the other side. 

Jo climbs in and sits on Gustav’s lap obviously. Bill sits on Georg’s lap, leaving Tom to sit on mine. We were all laughing nonstop at the arrangement. Even Spring Roll made some noises as she was in the front with Willow.

“Maybe you should’ve used your mom's van,” I say as Alyssia starts driving. “I wasn’t near her house before I got here.” She shrugs. I just sigh, leaning back as she starts blasting her music.

“You should be sitting on my lap right now.” Tom leans all the way back to whisper in my ear, I make eye contact with him as I smirk. “Too bad Kaulitz.” I wink, looking away to watch the outside.

Once we get to my grandparent's place we all get out with grunts, Tom getting off my lap felt like his bones were digging into my legs. It was very painful.

We went up to the door, the others looked like they were waiting for us to knock but instead, we just went right in through the door. Going in, I plopped Spring Roll on the ground and she ran in. “Surprise!!!” A group of people shouted, it ended up being a lot of my family members who actually lived in different states too. 

“Oh my gosh!” I grinned, taking like five minutes to hug everyone in the room. It was a spacious room so it’s okay. “Alright, alright!” I laughed, we then went around the room and the boys ended up following me or Johanna around the whole time. Mainly the twins kept by my side. Georg ended up making friends with Willow and Alyssia so he hung around them and the other stoners of my family. Gustav obviously was with Johanna who talked to my family too. 

“Oh, so this is the boyfriend?” My Aunt comes over to talk to Bill and I. Bill's hair is down and he’s wearing a beanie with no makeup. Also some baggy clothes so he kind of looks like Tom. Not really but to other people he could’ve. I laughed and went to say no but Tom stepped in. “Actually that’s me.” He shakes her hand and my eyes go wide. Bill turns to me with a smirk but I just try to ignore it.

“Oh, two handsome identical twins. You sure got your hands full, my dear [Name].” My face goes warm and I just want to hide in someone's arms and die. 

“Auntie, please.” I shake my head. 

“It’s quite alright, she knows what she’s dealing with, with me.” Tom pulls me into his arms, kissing my head as I try my best to contain a smile on my face. My Auntie walks away and I push Tom off of me, glaring at him. “What the fuck was that, Tom?” I asked him then just shook my head and walked away from the twins.

It’s not that I didn’t like being called his girlfriend it’s the fact that it’s my family. I haven’t told them anything and plus he and I are not official. He does not have the right to do that. 

Not yet.

I'll have to talk to him and Bill later.

So this actuallyy might be a few more chapters than 15 because I'm thinking about it and the stuff I want to do before the end won't fit in two more chapters. So get ready I guess.

Edited)I fucked up bruh I put part of chapter 12 in this my bad if you guys fucking saw that 😭😭😭 chapter 14 will be longer I promise I just genuinely fucked up😭😭😭

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If anyone knows how to help panic attacks I would love some advice because bitch I am currently struggling so bad🦾 idk if anyone is even gonna say anything but yo🫡 please.

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WORLD TOUR- .12

"Do you think sometimes they're catching on?"

We were now heading to the United States. Flying together on our official private jet. It was crazy that our tour is being partnered with so many big companies. Of course, that means we have to do more interviews along with doing ads for these companies. The others still have no idea about Tom and me. They just know we’re actually being nice to each other now with hints of us still arguing but it was to make sure they didn’t think anything. 

On the jet, it was super open so we couldn’t do anything even if we wanted to. Since Johanna and Gustav were dating now they sat next to each other and Spring Roll sat with them, Georg and Bill sat next to each other because they needed to plan out a thing on stage for our shows. Which left Tom and I next to each other much to our disagreement. (Just joking we didn’t argue about it at all.)

I did tell everyone about what Jace did and who he did it with. When Tom found out who it was with he wanted to say something to them but we talked him out of it since it was just going to bring more drama on our end which is something we don’t need. His ex was an attention whore and it’s something she wants so we weren’t going to give it to her. 

Tom and I were having fun behind closed doors. Whenever we got left alone with each other we snuck kisses and make-outs. I was still pretty stick on the no-sex thing. I need to make sure he’s serious this time. If he makes it through the whole tour I’ll know he wants me. He can’t put that much effort and like being blue-balled for nothing. 

I also told him if we’re not exclusive then again this is nothing and I’ll end it right away. 

“Do you think sometimes they’re catching on?” I whispered to Tom, he looked up from his phone since we haven’t taken off yet he was just updating our managers and his parents. “Hm?” He raises an eyebrow. 

“Do you think they question us?” I try to stop the smile that sneaks up on my lips just by looking at his face. It’s different now that I don’t have to push down my feelings anymore. Everything he does makes me happy. It’s honestly annoying.

“Mm, I don’t think so. I feel like not unless we’re affectionate. Which we’re not.” He tells me but his words are slow as he was trying to focus on texting as well. But then he stops and looks up at me. “I can always fix that though.” He winks, and I roll my eyes. 

“I want to kiss you.” I sigh, leaning back in my chair. He glances around, and just as he does Johanna and Gustav look up at us. We smiled and waved like goofs like we couldn’t just talk normally and they’d hear us. They did it back so at least we’re not the only goofs here.

“I would say just do it but we got nosy people here.” He inhales sharply as he adjusts himself in his seat. “Why don’t we just kiss now and we can like gaslight them that it didn’t happen?” I smile and he shakes his head as he laughs. “If you want to.” Is all he says and I bite my bottom lip.

“Oh, you’re really thinking about it?” He teases, poking my side causing me to giggle.

“As much as I like the secret. I really do want your lips on mine.” I thank the lord that the airplane is so loud because if it wasn’t I just know the others would’ve heard everything I said. 

“You’re so obsessed with me.” He smirks. “Shut up.” I pull up the blanket that was folded on my lap, lifting it up and unfolding it to put it over the both of us just as the Pilot makes an announcement that we’re on our way to lift off now. 

I take Tom’s arm, the whole plane knows how I feel about lift-off, turbulence, and landing. I don’t do well so this touch won’t mean much to them. I hope.

“Woah, it’s okay.” He laughs as I practically hug his arm, leaning my head on his shoulder. 

The jet started speeding up and then the front of it was in the air. The rest of it followed along but I squeezed my eyes shut, gripping Tom. I heard the others laughing at me but I did not care. I even felt them recording just because I know how they are. 

“It’s alright.” He whispers in my ear. It felt more comforting knowing that it was him letting me hold on to it. I missed this.

But no matter how much I miss this I’m still reminded about what happened beforehand. How he ended it so fast. I just want to know what made him change his mind. What made him think he was ready now. Is he really ready? I trusted Jace and look where that got me.

I’m trusting him now but what’s truly stopping him from going to another woman. To change his mind and fucking other women. Leading me on and nothing comes from it. We go back to hating each other. We go back to that, then it’s a cycle. We fall in love, I fall into the trap and get sucked in.

The thought makes my chest heave up and down rapidly. Suddenly I’m having a panic attack as I feel like I can’t breathe. I can’t keep oxygen in my lungs.

Tom lifts me up, sitting up straight and he holds my shoulders. “Hey, hey, focus on me.” He whispers. “Come here.” He pulls me into a tight hug, my ear on the middle of his chest. “Listen to my heart, c’mon.” I started hyperventilating as tears stream down my face. “I’m sorry.” I kept repeating, it didn’t feel like it was calming down at all. Bill and Georg finally noticed and watched it go down. Every time my eyes glanced over to them their faces were filled with worry. 

My body aches from the tension. My body felt stiff as I lay mainly on Tom. “[Name], you’re okay. Listen to me.” He pets my hair like a dog and as much as I want to laugh and make fun of him I’m currently trying to reteach myself on how to breathe.

“I didn’t know you were this frightened of flying.” He whispers to me and I let out a shaky breath. I want to tell him that it’s pretty bad when it comes to flights but I would be lying about what that panic attack was really all about. “Yeah,” I exhale, of course, I went with lying. Are you dumb?

I could not have a serious conversation with him in front of everyone.

That’s nuts.

So you don’t get to see the rest of the airplane trip. 

“Welcome to Detroit, Michigan!” A flight attendant says with a strong smile. It was like she had her face glued like that. It must suck having to smile like that all the time. But at the same, I heard this job pays well as hell. 

Also, we know what it’s like to not be home very often. As much as that sucks you get to see the world with this job. 

“Ah! I’m so excited. We get to see my family!” I grin, looking up at them as we walked down the steep ass steps off the jet. “Isn’t your Cousin picking us up?” Georg asks, trying to remind himself of what I told everyone. “Yes, her and maybe her lover.” I wiggle my eyebrows. Johanna snorts, her lover is actually her best friend and they are not lovers but they sure act like it. But it’s the early 2000’s and my family is kind of homophobic. 

“Her lover?” Bill tilts his head, I just smile at him and continue walking. I heard him turn to ask Johanna but she just shrugs. 

So I would like to apologize. I was in a Manic episode and I didn't catch it in time. I just did some impulsive ass things this week. I chose to stay in a whole different state for another month. Also, quit my job lmao. So I'm getting back into writing!!!! Woo!! I started another story so if you like The Walking Dead and Daryl Dixon you should check that out. I might start another story in a different fandom since this story only really has 3 more chapters! Thank you to all who have read this and enjoyed my writing, I'm sorry that I was just going through it during all of this lol. It seems like every fanfic writer gets into some horrible things once they write a story like god damn.

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Precious Honor - Daryl Dixon .01

"What are your people doing to fix this?"

“Shane, we gotta hurry.” I held onto my camouflage jacket. I had just gotten off of deployment before the disease broke out. Shane the one I was just rushing is my younger brother. Well by two years. We’re currently going to see if Rick has woken up yet. He’s been in a coma for a minute now from when he got shot by a criminal that he was chasing. Rick is our childhood best friend. Mainly Shane’s but we had gotten quite close before the coma. He was the only one who sent me letters on deployment. 

Updates about him, his wife, and his child Carl. Rarely spoke about Shane most likely because he’s been whoring around town from what Lori told me. 

Shaking my head at the thought we got through the endless Hospital halls, nurses and doctors saluting me as I was still partly in uniform. Wearing cargo pants, boots, and a white shirt tucked into the pants. My jacket was still in my arms as we finally were in the room where he was.

Where he lay still, not moving an inch from the last time we saw him. My heart ached at the thought. We sat down to visit only for a few minutes, it was clear we couldn’t get him up. Then the ground shook and gunshots cleared out, I quickly gripped my holster. We both shot up. “Check his pulse.” I point with my head, pulling my gun out and pointing towards the door. 

My brother did as I said and I opened the door after the military ran by. 

What the fuck are they doing killing innocent?

“Let’s go, [Name].” Shane grips my hand, going to pull me to run but I push back. “We can’t leave without em’!” I say a little bit above a whisper. “His heartbeat, it was going before the machines cut off!” I told him. 

“Well, he ain’t got one now, [Name].” He harshly tells me back, now shoving me to get a move on and I drop my jacket. Before I could say anything he barricaded the door and we started running. Tears threatened to escape my eyes but things like this happened almost every day in the Army. This wasn’t like the Army though.

We’re going up against monsters who were once friends, neighbors, family… Leaving loved ones behind because the human race isn’t the same anymore.

We got back to my truck, and my dog Mori sat calmly in the back seat since the air was still going on him. I thrashed my key into the hole and started up the engine. “Let’s go, [Name]. C’mon.” Shane smacked my dash. “Don’t rush me,” I mutter, changing gears and slamming on the gas pedal causing him and Mori to fall back in their seats. Mori makes a noise as if to tell me off as Shane grunts. 

I swerved through the people acting all frantic, the town all evacuating or fighting off one of those… things. It’s like their skin immediately rots after being bit. It only takes hours. I’ve seen it. It’s not normal! None of this is!

“[Name]! Watch out!” Shane takes my wheel, steering it around a girl laying on the ground waiting to be run over. Sorry, lady. Gotta get someone else to do that. “Sorry!” I shouted at Shane, making a sharp turn onto Lori’s grass, blocking the door off so we can throw some things into my truck bed. 

“Stay, Mori!” I snap at him and he sits up straight as a “he’s listening to my order”. Mori is a Military dog, he sniffed out the bombs or certain things we needed to find. Very well trained too. Obviously, dogs have to be very well trained in the Military.  

“Oh thank god, you’re… he didn’t wake up?” Her face paled as I look away. Shane nods his head. I was expecting her to cry but she stood straighter. “We packed up everything.” She points to the suitcases and regular bags. Two had supplies we actually needed like food, water, and medicine. Four of them were clothes and as unfortunate as it is we can’t bring all of the clothes. 

“I’m sorry to tell you this Lori but you’re going to have to minimalize your clothes.” I sigh out, heading to the attic I grab the latch from above and bring it down. “What, why?” She questions me. “This isn’t a vacation we’re going to be moved left and right. We might have to run.” I explain to her, going up the steps of the ladder. “Oh..” She whispers.

Shane went to Lori and Rick’s room, most likely to check for guns Rick usually had in a safe. Immediately as I was up in the attic there were three tents. I quickly grabbed all of them, throwing them down as well. If we lose one it’s okay. Or if we lose two, as long as we have one it’s fine. 

Shane came out with a small duffle bag and we hurried to my truck which was still running, along with Mori who sat straight up looking menacing. Being a muscle-top Rott Weiler I’d hope he was scary looking to people. 

“Mori!” Carl says a little loudly, instantly getting shushed by his mother. They hopped into the vehicle as Shane and I put everything in the truck bed that already had some survivalist-type things in it. There are a few cots in the truck bed already. 

“Everything fits nicely, let’s go.” Shane claps his hands, heads to the passenger side and I get right back to driving. Not even buckling up I reverse and then speed to Atlanta Georgia. Lori tries to hide Carl from it all, giving him a comic book that she actually told him not to bring but took just in case. 

Of course, it doesn’t help him from glancing up and seeing the horrors we have to pass by. 

Getting onto the highway, right away there was traffic. Lined all the way to the buildings. My gut is telling me to leave. Slowly we moved our way down further but then it was just a full stop. We didn’t move for minutes to hours.

After the first thirty minutes, everyone mostly got out and we kind of mingled. Meeting a nice lady to the right of us. She and her daughter we gentle and nice, Carl made friends with the girl. They got to eat some snacks that the lady gave them. Her name is Carol. Her husband who we learned his name is Ed. 

Off the bat, this guy is a dickhead. Once he saw I looked like a Military he stopped and stared at me. “What are your people doing to fix this?” He points at me and my eyes squinted slightly. “I don’t have a connection with them anymore.” I crossed my tatted arms, blatantly showing off my muscles as a hint to fuck off. 

Unfortunately, that did not work. 

“Why’s that?” He laughed.

“None of your fucking business.” I sarcastically laughed in response, he obviously did not like that. “C’mon, Carol. Get in the car. You too Sophia.” He orders them, at first, they hesitated but once he shouted they both flinched. Carol sweetly smiled at us. “Sorry about him, maybe we will be in the same area.” She tilts her head, grabbing Sophia’s hand to help her off my truck bed. The two got into the car and instantly Ed was yelling at the both of them. As much as I wanted to step in I knew it wasn’t my place just yet. 

As time passed we ended up meeting others. Sisters named Andrea and Amy, they were already with a man named Dale. Later through the night, there was a girl named Jacqui. She was amazing. It was going pretty smoothly until the Dixon brothers showed up. 

The older brother repeatedly flirted with me. Being heavily misogynistic since I was in the Army. Asking questions like; “Yer sure pretty, ‘m sure you was passed around huh? Gangbanged by yer comrades.” Or “Climbin’ up the ranks? You mean blowin’ the ranks?” All with a stupid ass laugh. His brother on the other hand was quiet. He looked like he wanted to shut his brother up but instead didn’t do anything.

I observed him as he did anything. Going from picking at his nails to rolling his eyes at his older brother as he spoke to anybody. Physically trying not to cringe with every word that came out of his mouth. I honestly felt bad for him. Once we get to a safe space I might get him talkin’. 

This was when we decided to get out of the traffic and go someplace else. The infected started reaching the traffic, we all knew it was a matter of time before they came to the crowded place. Jacqui ended up leaving her car and getting into my truck bed along with Daryl and Merle since their truck broke down. The blonde sisters got into the RV with Dale. Who we didn’t meet was the Asian kid in Dale’s RV as well. 

This is the beginning of our story as a family. Sadly without Rick to be there with us. 

[retnym]

WORLD TOUR- .11

“Well, you shouldn’t lie to the man.”

“Fuck you, Jace. Fuck you I can’t... I can’t even believe I- I trusted you!”  I scream in his face, on the verge of hyperventilating, holding my chest as my now ex-boyfriend stood before me.

 I found out he had a business trip that was close to my area for my next show from his mom. After she had gotten out of the hospital she found out I was paying for certain things. Wanting to repay me we’ve been talking. Obviously, I don’t want anything back but she had let me know about Jace being nearby so I of course went to surprise him.

Little did I know it wasn’t a business trip. 

He was with a woman. A woman who I knew. It was Tom’s ex-girlfriend. 

“Listen to me, [Name]! For a second!” He shouts back, pointing a finger that almost hit my chest but I backed away. I wasn’t going to cry not in front of him and not in front of that woman. She knew Jace was mine. Tom dated her for 3 months it was nothing serious. This was to get my attention and I knew it. 

“Go ahead, tell me how you just so happened to accidentally meet her here and accidentally get a room together.” I cross my arms, waiting for him to carry on with his lie.

“I felt like you weren’t going to take us seriously.” He starts and I take a deep breath trying not to laugh, shaking my head. “You know what? Shut the fuck up. You just lost a woman out of your fucking league bitch. Just wait until you see me on billboards for the rest of your life knowing you fucked it all up.” I pick up my jacket and walk out of the hotel room, slamming the door behind me. 

That was over two hours and I was now currently driving back to my hotel with everyone else. My phone was repeatedly being blown up but I could care less. It was Jace and once I get back I’m deleting him from my phone. Calling his mom and letting her know she raised one hell of a son. 

My phone rings once more and as I went to press decline I see it’s from Bill. Instead of ignoring it, I decided to answer it. “Hello?” My voice was raspy after going from screaming to not talking at all for two hours. “Oh, you got that sexy voice. How was the reunion?” I smile at his cheerfulness, unfortunately having to shut it down so quickly. “We broke up.” I laughed quietly, mainly to myself. It’s not funny… but it is.

“What!?” He shouts into the phone and due to how loud it was I wince in pain and take the device from my ear for a split second. 

“He was cheating, and fucking guess with who!” I laugh even louder, now taking this less and less seriously. “Who?” He joins me but only because I can’t stop and laughter is contagious. “Nora-Lynn bro! Nora fucking Lynn!” I wanted to fucking pull over from how much I was laughing, I felt like I was going crazy but I couldn’t do it now. I’m five minutes from the hotel. 

“No fucking way.” Bill gasps. “I’m so sorry, [Name].” He sighs but I shrug even though he can’t see it. “It’s cool, don’t worry. I might fuck your brother in rebellion and send it to them in a message though.” I grin to myself but in reality, I couldn’t believe I said that. It’s definitely not true.

As much as we all want it to happen.

I mean what?

Who said that?

“I mean if you think that’s best.” He jokes, at least I think he’s joking. “Alright, I’m pulling into the parking lot. I’ll see you in a sec.” I tell him.

“Ah, I and everyone else are at a bar twenty minutes away. The only one there is Tom so if you want to do what you said I mean the world is your oyster, babe.” He laughs out loud. “I love you, buh bye!” He yells and it now sounds like he went inside that bar.

“I love you too, Billy!” I smile to myself as he hung up in the middle of me yelling back but it’s alright. He deserves to have fun too. 

I parked my car next to Johanna’s I was even lucky it was still open from when I left. I let out a long breath, I was surprised I haven’t shed a tear over him. I guess I wasn’t really connected to the relationship like I thought I was. 

Grabbing my things I made my way in and around the building to my room. This one was a suite so we were all together this time. 

It was an actual key too and I seemed to be struggling to get it open for some reason. Getting annoyed I called Tom. After three rings he answered. “Yes?” 

“Open the door please,” I grunt, dropping the heavy ass bag I had on my arm. “Coming.” That is all he said as he hung up. He sounded like he had just woken up. Or he was just laying down. The door roughly opens and I jump back from the noise of it. 

“I thought you were with Jace?” He scrunches his face confused. He wasn’t wearing a shirt and it looked like he threw on pants. His hair was thrown into a weird loose bun. Biting my lip for a split second I drop everything in my hands and as he went to say something I pulled him into me and I kissed him.

It took him a minute but his arms went around me. A hand on the nape of my neck and the other on the crevice of my back. Pulling me closer.

After a few seconds, we pushed back at the same time. Our eyes met, both dark and he bends down, grabbing my things and then pushing me inside without any words. Placing my things down in the silence he takes my wrist to pull me against him once again, grabbing my face as we kiss again. 

He licks my bottom lip and not even a moment later our tongues were fighting against each other like we did for three years.

The anger of it all, the sadness, the loneliness. 

The feeling of his piercing went with everything else. Feeling like it could pierce me as well and I wouldn’t even mind it if it meant we would do this forever. I knew it wasn’t going to, I knew it would end but that didn’t mean I wanted it to.

We stood in one room for maybe thirty minutes, our feet never moving but our lips couldn’t say the same.

What ruined it was the repetitive noise of my phone vibrating against the table. Tom groaned, not even looking at who it was he knew. He answered it. “She’s fucking busy you lame ass.” He held me with one hand, my chest still moving with his. “Excuse me?” Jace’s voice was heard from the other line. 

“You heard me. Now leave her alone so I can fucking bone her. You can hear about it on MTV later don't worry.” He ends the line and puts the phone down looking back down at me and I grin. "That was a little mean.” I chuckle and he raises his brows. “You think so?” 

“Well, you shouldn’t lie to the man.” I wink, going to step away but he only squeezes me tighter. “Who said I was?” He plays with his lip piercing.

“Oh really?” I laugh, biting my lip as I stared at his face. He leaned against the wall still holding me close to his body. “What are you thinking about?” He mutters, his voice quiet enough for only me to hear in this whole room even though there was no one to eavesdrop anyway. “If I really want to go through with this again,” I whisper.

“We got all tour together. How about we see where it lands.” He leans down to peck my lips. “No sex.” I straight face him, watching his reaction. He didn’t even seem upset about it.

“I could live with that.” 

“Even though you were just about to “bone” me?” I tease him. “Hey, you were giving me that kind of energy.” He jokes back.

“We have a lot to talk about if this is happening, Tom Kaulitz. And we’re not telling the others. Yet.” I point a finger in his face, and his hands go up.

“Sounds okay to me.”

Um okay. Gonna be honest I got writers block lmao. I was having fun with no work and just ended up doing nothing, my bad. Also, the fandom is lowkey weird now. Idk how to explain it. I still like my story and will continue it. I'm gonna be on vacation for two weeks too so I might write more who knows.

[retnym]

WORLD TOUR- .10

"Of course, we want to fucking know."

“I’m so sorry about that by the way.” I apologized to the attractive masseuse. He smiled softly and shook his head as I was trying to hand him another tip. “It’s really no big deal.” He tells me. I was now dressed out of the robe. I went to the bus and changed into a white crop top with baggy basketball shorts. Nothing too extreme, just meant to be comfortable. “I insist. If you don’t take it, I’m just leaving it here.” 

He starts to grin, showing his teeth. “Fine, thank you, Miss [Last Name].” I slip the money into his hands before I make my leave. I started to feel a little guilty about the minor flirting I just did. I wouldn’t have pursued anything and you gotta give it to someone when they’re attractive as fuck. 

I also still have Springroll in my arms and she’s getting pretty antsy so I think it’s a good time to go to the hotel room. Checking my phone I see a text from Jace himself. Letting out a small sigh I quickly text back, stuffing my phone into my back pocket.

Walking into the room I gently toss Springroll from my arms onto my bed as the one next to mine has Bill and Johanna sitting there staring at me. 

“Yes..?” I raise an eyebrow looking at them before jumping onto the bed and laying on top of Bill. “Don’t ‘yes?’ us.” Johanna snaps at me and then lays on me causing me to giggle. “But seriously, what’s up with those looks?” It was like Bill and I never even got upset with each other. He instantly was holding me and I played with Jo’s hair. 

“So, Tom found her?” Bill speaks up causing my breath to hitch from the sound of his name which I already know they noticed. “Yup, he did.” It almost came out in a whisper, my voice cracked as it left my mouth. 

Thinking back to what happened my heart started pounding, Johanna glance up at me but I tried to ignore it. 

“We saw by the way.” She tells me and with that, my palms started sweating. “What do you mean?” I nervously laugh. “Well after you said to split up and I turned back to find you so I could apologize for pushing that conversation I started.”

“Jo ended up showing up so we searched for you together, found you and Tom sitting on the ground, and decided to watch what was happening. Juicy stuff if I might say.” He explained with a shit-eating grin laid upon his face. 

Know how I said my heart was beating super fast? Well, now it just dropped to my fucking ass-crack. 

They saw what happened.

I mean nothing really happened so there really isn’t anything to say…. Right?

WRONG!!!

“You guys were totally going to kiss.” Jo squeals but I quickly shush her. “No, we weren’t!” I deny it fairly fast. “Oh yeah, then what was that?” Bill interjects, cocking his head to the side. 

“He turned his head at the wrong time, you didn’t see it but he was whispering so I was caught off-guard and Springroll snapped me out of it because she’s so amazing.” I threw all the words together just praying it sounded okay once it was out in the air. You definitely could barely understand what I was saying or… well trying to say. 

“Plus I am dating Jace so forget this Tom stuff… please,” I muttered, playing with Johanna’s hair again. 

“Right… Jace.” They both say in unison, scoffing as well which was almost scary. “What’s that mean?” I question them defensively.

“Look as much as I love Jace, he is stopping you from a beautiful love story with my brother.” He points out before continuing. “We would be siblings-in-law I might add.” He puts his hands up. I just scrunch my face in disgust. 

“What even?” I laugh shaking my head. 

“You and Tom have tension baby. Always have.” Johanna jumps back into the conversation and I just roll my eyes. “Whatever happened years ago just ruined it and is making us wait longer for you two to just get together,” Bill exclaims.

“You really want to know?” I ask suddenly and they’re both confused not knowing what I am talking about but before they can even ask I speak up once more. “Know what happened almost three years ago.” I state, their mouths go into the shape of an ‘o’. 

“Of course, we want to fucking know,” Bill says. 

“Tom and I were secretly dating, kind of. He ended it in a shitty way.” I finally let it out of my mouth, it felt like my throat was hurting now, I stopped playing with Jo’s hair as she shot up, Bill pushing me off of him dramatically. 

“No fucking way!” Jo shouts. 

“And you didn’t fucking tell us!? Bill exasperates, his arms thrown up in the air and I flinch from the loudness of it all. I ended up covering Bill’s mouth since he kept going. 

“I thought everyone knew. No one ever spoke or questioned why we stopped talking! I thought he would’ve told his own twin brother!” I in all honesty say. Letting go of his mouth the room actually stayed silent. “Look,” I take a deep breath. “This is going to be kind of a long story.” I sadly say, playing with my fingers nervously.

“We got time, if you need to stop let us know.” Jo places a hand on my leg and another notification from my phone goes off. Most likely Jace so without checking it I turned the device off completely. 

Explaining everything to them, only tearing up once which they didn’t notice due to us laughing about something right after the tears jerked. 

It was good to finally explain it to them and know that they are on my side after years of feeling crazy about if I was being dramatic or not. After years of worrying, there was secretly tension between Bill and me for being so hateful to his brother. Or his brother hates me. 

“Nothing will ever happen again. Jace is my now. Tom is my past. He stays there.”  I tell them, even saying those words don’t feel right but that’s how it has to be. What happened in that hall should’ve never happened. 

What happened in that hall will never be close to happening again. 

Because one thing I know is that Tom Kaulitz will never fight for me. He’s clearly shown that.

It’s been two hours since I told Bill and Johanna and we're back to normal. All the boys ended up joining us in the room and we’re getting ready to watch movies together. We also decided it was a good idea to all be on one bed since it will be horror movies.

We’re just so smart. 

I still lay on top of Bill as Johanna lay on my side, Gustav was next to her, Tom lay on the end of the bed as Georg chose to be an outsider and lay on the other bed he had Springroll though. He also started up the movie. I rarely paid attention as I was on my phone texting Jace.

He was panicking about something to do with his mom. She’s currently in the hospital for a broken foot which is minor but she broke a neighbor's garden statue that was super expensive and they can’t pay for it. 

“Hey, I’ll be right back,” I whisper to Bill and Johanna. Trying to get up without disturbing them too much I jumped off the bed. Wincing to myself as I thought about if there were people below us. Going into the bathroom I called Jace. It took a few rings but he finally answers.

“Baby, why’d you call?” He asks me and I furrow my eyebrows together. “Well, you were kinda just texting me and freaking out?” I say more as a question as I am confused about why he would wonder that. “Right, I’m sorry. My mind is everywhere right now.” He laughs nervously and I notice it immediately. Why does he sound like he’s been running a mile? I get when I’m having a lot I kinda get out of breath but this sounds… different. “Okay, anyways. I could send you money. How much was the statue?” I change the subject back to what he texted me about. 

“No, no, I couldn’t ask you of that.” He says and I roll my eyes. “You’re not asking me, I’m giving it babe.” I correct him but as he goes to argue with me I cut him off. “How much was it, Jace?”

“2 grand.” He sighs.

“Oh, No biggie. I’ll send a check through the post office tomorrow.” I tell him. “Baby please, don’t do that.” He pleads but I just ignore it.

“You know I’m not going to listen.” I state the obvious. “I know but-” “What are you up to?” I ask him, sitting down on the counter. 

“Just talking to you and waiting for my mother to get out of the hospital.” I hum in response, also saying that I hope his mom is alright. I love his mom, she’s super nice. Maybe a little superficial but who isn’t? “What were you doing before you got on the phone, sounded like you were running.” I laughed but I kinda stopped after I heard that he wasn’t and was actually talking to someone in the background in a hushed tone. 

“Oh is that a family member?” I ask him. “Huh?” He gets back to the phone. “In your background, who are you talking to?” I asked again. 

“Oh I wasn’t talking, it’s the tv.” He chuckles but I just stay silent. I swear he was talking. Why would he talk to a tv? If he was talking to someone why would he lie? 

“Alright, well.” I clear my throat. “I have to go back to the band. We’re watching movies together.” I smile, I really did want to talk to him but now he’s acting weird. I might not send the money…

“Oh okay. Goodnight, love you.” He says in a sing-song tone.

“Love you too.” I end the call. Standing up from the counter I look at myself in the mirror. 

What the fuck is going on? Why am I questioning my own boyfriend like that?

He wouldn’t do that to me. He wouldn’t cheat on me.

I POSTED!!!! sorry guys I've been working my ass off this past week and today and tomorrow I have off so you best believe I'm writing some chapterssssss. I'm gonna make them juicy. As fuck!!!! Enjoy this short little thing for now. Also if you guys want those oneshots and shit you have to dm me ideas because I’m not making them if nobody has anything😭 only because I don’t have any ideas myself right now and it can be in other fandoms if I don’t know it I’ll let you know but I’ll right almost anything as long as it’s x reader I don’t do character x character I’m sorry🙏

[retnym]

I’m gonna be honest I haven’t written anything in a minute and I can’t tell you when I will. But I’m hoping sometimes this week. I just graduated and i have some things to do and then I’ll get back to the story

[retnym]

WORLD TOUR- .09

"Sir, you can not be in here."

“[Name]!” A voice screamed into my ear, jolting me awake from my sleep. Covering the top of my body with a blanket since I slept in a tank top I tiredly stare at my abuser. “What time is it?” I groan, lifting a hand over my eyes due to the light coming in from the bus windows. “Time to get off the bus.” Bill laughs, Georg was next to him eating a granola bar. Rolling my eyes I laid back down. Springroll made a little noise, wiggling in my side to get comfortable again. 

I glance over at the clock and it was only 8:30 in the morning. It does seem like the bus is stopped though so I fix my shirt and stand up unfortunately to Springroll. “Where is everyone else?” I stretch my arms into the air, moaning at the feeling. 

“They all went into the hotel already. The hotel said they had a buffet open.” Georg explains as Bill was already running off. I’m surprised he’s up and so energetic. Usually, he’s the complete opposite of me. Being bitchy and annoyed with everyone. I just know someone’s going to say something that irritates me. 

I lift Springroll into my arms. Luckily this hotel takes pets they said they actually prefer cats coming in over dogs. Less noisy. 

“Ah, I’m going to find a hoodie. I’ll join everyone in a minute.” I tell him, he just nods, listening to what I say. After what happened with the managers I got a call from Jace the same night. He told me he’s going to join our last two shows before we leave for the United States. Something that is really going against what my managers want. They do not want me seen with anyone other than bandmates or really just Tom. Something I wish I could argue on. 

Tom has been a bit sweeter but still avoidant from me. I should be the one avoiding him. He said that stuff about me and ever since the meltdown he’s now looking at ways to get away from me or get out of a conversation when I join it. He’s doing the exact opposite of what we were told to do in public as well. He’s going to get us yelled at once again. 

Whatever his deal is he needs to chill. He could’ve told me to stop holding his hand or leaning on him if he wanted to but he told me I was okay. Ugh, I shouldn’t be stressing over my frustration with him. 

It was another thing I tried talking to Jace about but every time I go to complain about Tom or anything for that matter he talks about himself and switches the whole subject.

It’s really weird. 

Anywho, I threw on a grew crewneck and slipped on shows as I got off the bus. I held Springroll as I walked in the breeze to get into the large building. A security guard had opened the door, a quiet thank you slipping out of my mouth in passing. 

I joined the group and got a plate of my own. The others had either finished their food or were getting seconds right now. Tom was ahead of me getting fruit and cereal so I silently crept up to him. “Strawberries and raspberries?” I snicker, it’s the same thing every time he picks fruit. That or pineapple too. “Yeah?” He scoffs and I just lift one hand up in defense. 

“4 more shows until the U.S.A!” I cheered the last part jokingly and he just laughs shaking his head. “How do you feel?” I ask him. 

“Oh you know, I get to party. Have fun with some girls.” He wiggles his eyebrows and I scrunch my nose pretending to be disgusted. I really felt a pang in my stomach. Weird.

“I wish, I got stuck with Jace now.” I dramatically say, obviously, it was a joke just like his sort of was meant to be but we all know he was telling the truth. “Whose fault is that?” He gave me a look and I furrow my eyebrows. “What does that mean?” 

“I mean, you chose to date him even after questioning it.” He points out but for some reason, it just hits me the wrong way. “Don’t throw that in my face,” I tell him, he just takes a bite of a strawberry. “You’re the one who complained to me.” Tom reminds me and I stare at him for a minute, pressing my lips together tightly. “I’ll make sure to never do that again, don’t worry.” I huff, walking away from him. 

Sure it may have seemed like I asked for that. Maybe I was a little over dramatic with walking away but I’m happy with whatever relationship I have with Jace. Obviously, I was having a hard time with it but I shouldn’t have that thrown in my face. 

I think…

No, I shouldn’t! Screw Tom, I need to stop talking to him. Why do I do this to myself?

I make my way over to Johanna, she’s finally not around Gustav where I can talk to her myself. 

“[Name], want to go to a spa later!?” She points to a spa room and my eyes widen. Ever since performing, I’ve had a terrible ache in my back. “Yes!” I hold onto her arm excitedly. “Didn’t think you’d be that happy about a spa.” She laughs. 

“You have no idea.” I grin. “Want to bring Bill?” I look over at the black and white-haired boy who sat with Georg. He finally lost the energy he once had to annoy me. 

“Of course.” She takes a quick drink from her apple juice. 

I’m going to have to figure out who will watch my cat or just take her with me and see if they will allow her to just sit in her little cage or something. 

After eating we told Bill about the spa and we ended up letting the boys know what we were doing before sneaking off without warning. That means they had to unpack the bus without us into our rooms. Like normal the boys shared their room and then Johanna and I got our room. Tom ended up taking Springroll even though he looked against it. He, Georg, and Gustav promised to look after her. 

“Dude this is going to be amazing.” Bill shakes me from behind, he held onto my shoulders as we waited for the ladies to get their set up ready. They already got us changed into just robes. 

One lady steps out and she seems pretty nervous as she looks at us. “So, you three are going to have to be separated. One in one room and two in the other. I apologize if that’s an inconvenience.” She bows her head down in sorrow as if we were going to get pissed. I raise my hand super quick though. “I’ll be separated.” I laugh. Bill gasps. “I want to be separated.” He pouts as Johanna just looks at us like what the fuck. 

The lady seemed a lot more relaxed after we picked who was going where. Johanna is going to be separated since it’s only fair. She’s paying for the extra things. 

I ended up getting a man masseuse. This confused me because I didn’t see him in the beginning but I’m not objectifying anything, this man is attractive. I shouldn’t be thinking that though. Sadly I have a boyfriend who prevents those thoughts. 

There was still a separation between Bill and me as we had a curtain there. Once he was done cleaning off the table he helped me up and took the robe off leaving me in a towel so when I laid down he put it just below my lower back. He didn’t even look my way either. He was a gentleman y’all. 

“Is there any area you want specifically?” He asks, opening the bottle of oil. “My back, in the middle really,” I inform him, I completely laid my face into the hole and relaxed my once very tense body. I thought this was going to be weird at first but after getting the hang of everything around me it seemed nice. Also I really just need to relax in general.

Hearing Bill hum a few times I tried hard not to laugh. Then I heard the door open. My masseuse suddenly stopped, whispering to whoever opened the door and since I was closest I listened in. Bill probably wouldn’t have been able to since he chose to have music playing. Like one of those elevator types but more enjoyable. 

“Sir, you cannot be in here.” My masseuse tells the person. “I’m sorry, it’s kind of an emergency. I’m Bill’s brother.” 

Tom? Of course he ruins this for us. 

Emergency?

“Kind of an emergency?” He questions in return. “Okay, it’s an emergency for the girl. To [Name]. Well, it will be if you don’t let me tell her.” He seemed out of breath, and this started to worry me, I lifted my face up and it was very bright. Having to get used to it I see Tom playing with his hands as he was trying to convince this man to let him through. 

“Um, it’s okay,” I tell the masseuse who seemed annoyed by now. Probably thinking he wasn’t going to get paid. 

I adjust myself to sit up, covering my chest. The guy helps me put my robe back on. “What’s going on?” I roll my eyes, fixing the robe but he takes my arm and pulls me outside of the room. “Tom!? Seriously, what the fuck are you doing?” I glare at him.

“Springroll, she uh... She got loose somewhere in the hotel.” He sighs, and my eyes widen. My baby… The love of my life. Loose in a hotel… that we are only staying at for three nights. This huge ass hotel and my cat is missing. “Are you,” I cut myself off to take a deep breath. “Are you fucking kidding me?” I shout in a whisper-type way. He shushes me, looking around. “She couldn’t have gotten far this just happened. I let a worker know too.” He tells me, placing a hand on my shoulder but I shove it off. 

“You better fucking find her, Tom Kaulitz.” I shove his chest. “Pay for my thing for me I’m going to look for her,” I order him, running out of the room in the short-ass robe.

Tom I guess told Bill and Johanna since they are change back into their clothes and joined me in searching for my cat. 

“I’m so going to beat your brother’s ass for this.” I tear up, I stop and put a hand on my forehead. “Me too, I’m so sorry [Name].” Bill brings me into a hug and I break down crying. 

“This is my baby, we have to find her, Bill.” I push away and carry back down the hall.

It’s been 45 minutes in and we still can’t find her. We were currently separated searching for her. The workers said they would keep an eye out on her and walkie other workers to get one of us. 

“What if we can’t find her?” I mumble, tears still streaming down my face. “We will, don’t talk like that.” Bill snaps at me, and we continue down the long hallway.

“Here, let’s change the subject to sort of get your mind off this.” He starts and I deadpan at him. How is anything going to get my mind off of my Springroll? My tan tabby baby. 

“What’s your deal with Tom?” He raises an eyebrow and I give him a look. “What?” I mutter out, what the fuck does he mean. “I mean, why do you hate him so much. Growing up we were all so close. You were probably closer to him than me.” He explains, my eyes go straight to the floor then back to looking around, remembering what we were doing in the first place. I shook the treat bag one more time before speaking up. 

“It’s not my place to speak on.” I bite on my bottom lip and he stops suddenly. “[Name], you two obviously aren’t over it. Please just tell me.” I stop as well and turn to face him since he was now a few steps behind. “Bill, it’s not important right now. My cat is missing. I’m not worrying about my relationship with your twin brother.” I exclaim a little bit louder than intended. Shaking the bag again I continue looking. 

It was silent for a few moments before he speaks again. “You’re right, I’m sorry.” He apologizes. I just hum, turning the hall. “I think it’s best we go different ways. I’ll talk to you about it later.” I frown, he just says okay and does as I say. Going in the other direction.

Thinking about what he asked I fixed my robe once more, tying it tighter. 

Why would he ask that so suddenly? Why I and Tom didn’t like each other anymore. He didn’t even question it when it happened I figured he knew or was told. I thought it was something everyone knew but didn’t speak on. 

Maybe I was wrong.

“I like you [Name], I do.” He tells me and I smile sweetly. “Then ask me out already.” I grab onto his arm, leaning my head onto his shoulder as we sat side by side on my porch in the backyard by the pool. “Not yet.” He whispers. 

“If you like me, what’s stopping you?” I laughed, not exactly understanding what was happening. “[Name], you deserve someone better.” He explains and I look up at him. “You’re quite enough, Tom.” I stare into his eyes as he sadly looked back into mine. “Not yet…” He repeats.

“I’m leaving, anything you want to say?” I ask in a hopeful tone towards Tom who just sat on the couch with a blank expression. “Have fun.” He mumbles. I make my way over to him and place my hands on my hips. “That's it? I’m leaving for five months and that’s it?” I scrunch my nose, confused as he just sat there. “[Name] we can’t be together, stop holding onto something that is not there!” He suddenly exasperates and I take a single step back.

I blink a few times, mainly holding back tears but not understanding what he is saying. “You said you liked me.” I simply state. “You said eventually we’d be something. Your words have me holding on. If you had just told me this was going to be a waste I would’ve been done a long time ago.” My voice breaks embarrassingly as I try my hardest not to raise or lower my voice. 

“You told me the distance wouldn’t hurt us.” I cried out, he gets up from his spot and suddenly I feel stupid for even saying anything. Realizing we’re only 14, how could 14-year-olds be so dramatic. 

“It’s not the distance. It’s me. I can’t do it.” He goes to touch me but I step back again. “Why?” 

He just stares at me in response.

“Tom. Don’t speak to me when I come back.” I walk out of the room. 

Looking back at it, it was pretty dramatic. And hey, it could be but he gave me a lot of confusing gestures. He was sweet to me, he did everything that a normal boyfriend would do. He just wouldn’t put the label or do anything in public and I never understood why. 

When I came back though he did as I asked, he never spoke a word but that turned into us arguing and then it was constant. We couldn’t stand each other. Now here we are 17 and 18 years old still hating each other for no reason other than we decided not to date at 14 almost 15 years old. 

When I came back after those five months I had turned 15 and met Jace. Since Tom hated him off the bat I dated him in spite of Tom. Maybe not the best way to start a relationship but he loved me. He showed me things I never knew about myself.

I will never tell him why our relationship started but that’s okay. He doesn’t need to know. 

“[Name]!!!” A voice screams down the hall and my head snaps their way. It was Tom holding Springroll as he ran over to me, I met him halfway and took her from his arms. “Oh my fucking god!” I screamed, sliding against the wall to the ground, holding Sringroll to my face. 

“Don’t do that again, you stupid cunt.” I whispered in her ear and Tom laughed, kicking my legs. “Cover your legs.” He mutters just loud enough for me to hear as people started walking past. I look down and remember I’m in a robe, doing as he told I shake my head. Utterly embarrassed.

“Nice pink underwear though. Gotta say I didn’t see you as the type.” He laughs and I kick his shins causing him to hiss, falling next to me.

“Thank you,” I say after we calmed down a bit. I turn my head to look at him, he was looking at the wall across from us. 

“I’m sorry for losing her.” He turns his face and we end up being centimeters apart. Our noses almost touched. For a moment we sit there just silent. It felt entrancing. I couldn’t stop staring at him. I was stuck. 

It felt like he was getting closer, our noses now scraping each other every time we breathed.

Springroll makes a high-pitched meow and I let out a breath pushing back from the trance I felt myself once in. His eyes squeezed shut, mentally cursing at himself. 

“I uh, I gotta change and apologize to my masseuse.” I awkwardly laugh, using his knee I stood up. He just nods and I speed walk down the hall, once he was out of sight I leaned against another wall. Taking in a deep breath. 

What was that?

Honestly, I had no idea what this chapter was going to be and I wasn't even going to have drama in another chapter but this was fun and I wanted to start giving a little backstory on their hatred for each other. This is also I think the longest chapter so far. Crazy crazy.

[retnym]

WORLD TOUR- .08

"Oh, my star!"

As fans cheered and lights flashed along with flowers being thrown onto the stage. Bill and I caught some or dodging others we smiled waving to everyone before we have to leave the stage once more. Tom already let his guitar hanging from his neck, side hugging his brother. Georg standing next to me with his hand in mine. “Have a wonderful night!” I yelled only to get more cheers. I laughed, blowing kisses one last time before we have to get off. Gustav smacked his drumsticks in the air, following behind. 

Today was our 8th show. Only 12 more to go until we are in the United States. I’m super excited, about having more friends and family there to see. Bill hugs me tightly, and my heels lift up as he is a bit taller than I am. (If not I’m sorry)

Johanna comes running up to us with her camera in hand. “You have no idea how amazing you guys looked tonight!” She squeals, shaking around the device we all laugh begging her to show us. “No, not until I edit them and everything on the bus tonight!” She leans into Gustav as we continue walking into our room before meeting with some fans outside. 

“I do want to warn you guys tho,” She starts off, looking around before she says anything else. “Havi is gonna be here, along with Earl. I told them everything was okay over the phone but they wanted to talk to you guys themselves.” She makes a face, worriedly watching our reactions. I look up at Bill who was looking at Tom. It was like they were communicating in their heads.

Havi and Earl are our actual managers. We barely see them though. They only really come around to our big shows and the bigger opportunities we get. It’s a lot better this way since they are pretty toxic. Havi and Earl are in the same company due to us being childhood friends we joined together because of our parents. “Say something.” She pleads and Gustav clears his throat. “Thank you for uh letting us know.” He smiles at her, they look into each other's eyes for a moment but it was cut off by Tom speaking up this time. “I messed up when we had that big show, it’s just to let us know.” He sighs, placing his head into his hands. 

“You did amazing what are you talking about?” I roll my eyes, it wasn’t towards him it’s just I hate how we get because of them. We all start beating ourselves up before they even come in and say anything to us. “No that one riff in Forgotten Child. And in your song Take Away. That day was horrible.” He stands up, grabbing a water bottle quite aggressively. “You had some nerves, it was Paris France! We had a little bit of an expectation to uphold and I’d say it was pretty fucking amazing.” I shrug, leaning back into the couch, playing with Bill’s shirt behind him. 

“You’re one to talk, you haven’t messed up at all.” Tom points to me, I sit right back up. 

“What do you mean? I literally hit so many flat notes. And! My hand slipped on my guitar.” I exclaim he shakes his head about to continue to say more but there was a loud knock on the door and then it bursts open. We all stand up immediately, straightening our posture since it was the managers and what seemed like apprentices? Trainees? 

“Oh, my star!” Havi comes directly to me, arms open for her to just grab my face and then give me air kisses. “Hi, Havi.” I force a smile upon my face. “Tokio Hotel.” She nods their way as Earl barely gives any of us a look. He was writing away on a notepad before shoving it into his apprentice's arms who seemed to already be carrying a  bunch of other things. He looked practically miserable. 

“So, we’re here today to talk about a few things.” Earl establishes a new conversation. One we’re currently dreading to hear about. “First, sit down.” He states, all of us plopping right back onto the couch. Gustav gives up his seat for Johanna and he sits on the arm of the couch next to her.  

“You guys hired Johanna it seems?” He pokes his eyes out from his glasses as they leaned down on his nose. “That was me.” I put my hand up.

“I didn’t ask who. I am however asking why it wasn’t run through us first?” He questions, playing with the pen in his fingers. 

“I thought it was a good idea. You guys don’t manage pictures for us. I needed someone to.” I nervously say, my hands lying in my lap as my leg bounces up and down. My eyes scattered all over the room to avoid anyone's eyes. I stutter when eyes are on me. I can’t speak confidently with eyes on me. 

“Oh, so you just make decisions now?” His voice booms as he steps closer, I manage not to flinch squeezing my hands tighter together. “No, sir. I’m sorry but you guys didn’t answer and it’s coming out of my bank so.” I stare at his shoes, he wasn’t moving any closer this time but now I felt embarrassed. I never told the boys that it came out of my account to pay her. She didn’t even know and now that they do they’re probably going to get upset as well. “Hm, I guess that does change a few things.” Havi huffs, a hand lays on her hip. 

“Moving on from that. Tom,” She faces him, his eyes don’t even meet hers. She looks past him. “I need you to have some more practice. Your stance is a little charismatic and you’re still messing up.” She waits for him to respond but just earning a nod she moves on to the next thing. “Georg, give a little more light to [Name] and Bill. They’re truly the stars. Well my [Name] is.” She sickly smiles at him and he apologizes quietly. My heart begins to pick up. That’s not true. 

“Gustav, interact with people more. You’re like a mouse that’s barely even there.” She roughly tells him.

“Bill, enough with the movement, calm it down before you give me a heart attack.” 

I start to breathe a little loudly trying to calm myself down. They hate, hate, and hate everything. We never hear anything good about our shows. “Anything else to dictate?” I mutter, I honestly didn’t even mean to say it but now with everyone’s eyes on me I really wish I didn’t. 

“Excuse me?” Earl steps closer and now my face is at his stomach level. It felt inappropriate and I begin to sweat from how nervous I am. “I’m just saying that… you guys never say anything nice. It’s always, it’s always negative.” I stutter, my chest rapidly going up and down, a hand slid into mine from my lap, and with how I was feeling I really didn’t pay attention to who it was. “Well,” His fingers go underneath my chin, lifting it up to look at him. 

“If you don’t like what I got to say that’s too damn bad.” He’s right, there’s no other company we could go into, and without a manager, we’re screwed. Especially since this is the top company in the world. They’ve gotten us into things we couldn’t have even dreamed of entering without them. “Now suck it up you got people to meet.” He taps my face three times.

“One last thing before we go.” Havi places a hand on her hip.

“Tom and [Name] need to be seen more in public alone. The publicity is amazing for you guys.” She grins, pointing between the two of us and I turn to see Tom who was nodding. “[Name] doesn’t let anyone see you with your boyfriend. If it does you need to end it as I say.” I don’t respond and she just leaves mumbling about how she’s going to call me later anyway. I look down to see our hands entangled together. But for some reason, I don’t want to let go. As Earl leaves I let out a loud breath that I was holding in to stop my tears.

My hands were shaking as my body racks with me hyperventilating. I squeeze onto Tom’s hand as a hand traces up and down my back. “Hey, it’s okay,” Tom whispers into my ear, Bill was the one rubbing my back. Gustav, Georg, and Johanna talked about what just happened. “I’m sorry.” I hiccup between ragged breaths.

“Don’t worry about it,” Georg tells me. “They’re just assholes,” Tom adds as well, after a few minutes I was leaning into Tom’s side as he still held my hand. Bill was standing, he had gotten the makeup to fix what I did to my face. Johanna was on the other side of me, going through the pictures on her camera, showing Gustav. He was the only person that got to see of course. 

“I don’t want to get up.” I whisper, Tom just rubs the back of my hand with his thumb. “You don’t need to.” He tells me back. 

“Yeah, I’ll just get on my knees for you.” Bill winks, causing me to chuckle after I had just finished sobbing. “Only he’d do it for you.” Tom nudges me, I try not to make a comment, smirking instead. He’s holding my hand and letting me lean on him but I don’t think he’d draw the line at getting on his knees for me. 

Having to sit up straight I finally let go of Tom’s hand, letting Bill do my makeup. He really didn’t have to get on his knees as he stood back up and just had my head up. I calmly sat there with my eyes closed. My hand felt empty.

Cold even. I didn’t like it. Missing the warmth it gave along with the comfort. Feeling almost like a baby after crying. My face felt clean even with all the makeup that went through my pores. Even though it now puffs out in the slightest I felt prettier. I felt tired as well. Wanting nothing more than to just keep my eyes closed and leaned back onto Tom. 

Maybe it would be better if it was Jace instead. Maybe even the couch. Tom was just helping me so I could calm down before seeing the guests. His words still stuck in my mind.

It’s just to get through the tour. He doesn’t want to be my friend. 

I would like nothing more than to be his friend.

He doesn’t want to be mine.

Why doesn’t he want to be mine?

My… friend?

Yeah..... Sorry for another later post. This week I'm graduating so I have a lot going on lol along with work too. I'm going to try to write another chapter tonight but again don't hold your breath. Thank ya for your patience my loves. I'm finally sort of getting over this sickness. I just have a cough and a stuffy nose now.

[retnym]

WORLD TOUR- .07

"One of us should marry her."

CHANGE OF POV!!!!!

“Johanna, let’s go!” [Name] laughs, she holds onto her sunhat. She was out of the door, holding it open as she waited for her best friend who came out with multiple bags. “Why do you have all that?” The girl laughs as Johanna just stopped then dropped everything to stare at her. “You said we’re going on a picnic!” 

“We are, but I have everything in the car already, Jo!” Her hands grip the sides of her light orange sundress laughing loudly but getting hit on her arm. “You could’ve said that!” 

[Name] just shakes her head, helping her best friend with the bags and putting them into the car as well, it never hurts to have more than less. The two were out for the day in Paris, France. It was the next country in the tour, it also meant the first country [Name] and Jace are set to be a part of their first week back together. 

The boys are also set to go out, or they were. Instead, they’re staying inside and playing in the arcade that is in the hotel they decided to stay at. Even their room has a gaming set for them to play on. Like children of course thats that they wanted to do. Later in the night, the girls are going to join them at the bar, there’s supposed to be a party at the Hotel and they were even asked to play there. They told them they would think about it.

They’re going to do it no question but Tom thought it was a good idea to give them a hard time. 

“So, second country,” Bill announces, his normally spiky hair laid down, no eyeliner nor eyeshadow in sight either. Tom had his normal attire. This time without a hat but his hair was still tied up in the same ponytail. Gustav had a white wife beater on and some jeans. As Georg has his hair tied back too, wearing a red shirt with basketball shorts. The four were in the halls of the hotel making their way to the arcade as planned. 

“Pretty crazy we are already in France,” Georg replies, he was already itching to take down his hair, not liking the feeling but he knew if he took it down he was just going to sweat and feel worse. Even though there is air conditioning in the large room, the humidity of everyone else makes it less tolerable. 

“It’s all thanks to [Name].” Gustav reminds them all, he was right. [Name] made it all happen, having to talk to her manager, get them to agree, and get rid of the people who were supposed to be her opening act so they didn’t make the concert over four hours long. Sorry to those people but her best friends were more important than some bands she never even heard of. Of bands even her fans never even heard of. At least with Tokio Hotel, her fandom should know them. It’s all she seems to bring up anyhow.

“One of us should marry her.” Bill jokes, jumping up and down as they get to the door of the arcade. Gustav snorts, “She has Jace now. He beat us to it.” He carries on Bill’s joke, landing it pretty well as it now turns into a conversation. “Lucky man.” The more emo-looking one mutters earning their attention even more. 

“Oh well according to magazine and news, Tom Kaulitz is her next lover.” Georg elbows his friend who shakes his head. “She hasn’t even spoken to me after we read it.” 

“Probably because of what you said, you dumbass.” Gustav smacks him upside his head, hitting more of his locks than anything else. Tom sighs, shrugging. “I only said the truth.” He whispers, it seemed like it was towards him than to the others who weren’t even paying attention as they talked more about Jace. It was like he was trying to convince himself that is actually what he thought of [Name]. A desperate girl for attention. A desperate girl that would hurt anyone at the given chance. Someone many girls actually thought of him he wanted to think the same of the girl who hadn’t given him one reason to do so. 

“Do you think he’s good for her?” Gustav questions his bandmates as they all looked at each other. “Why, you trying to take her for yourself?” Georg laughs, paying for the arcade tokens Gustav scrunches his face in disgust. “She’s like my sister. I’m interested in someone else anyways.” 

All their eyes shoot to the blond who now lets out an annoyed breath knowing he shouldn’t have said what he did. “Johanna.” Bill points to Gustav and then at the others as the light bulb atop his head just exploded into fireworks. Gustav’s face turned red, wanting to shove them all away. Tom tickled him on the side, teasing the boy. “You’re in love with [Name]’s best friend.” 

Georg snickers, giving them all their cards. “It shouldn’t be so surprising to you guys they’re literally around each other so fucking much.” He tells them and Bill nods. “True, [Name] had even hinted to it. She definitely feels the same.” 

Gustav shakes his head, “Stay out of my love life. This conversation is not an invitation in it.” He warns them, and they all put their hands up. 

As they played games at the arcade, Tom was berated. Of course, getting hit on repeatedly by many girls but for some odd reason, he didn’t pursue any of them. It was something even Bill noticed. All the guys actually did. Watching each and every single one. 

As the hours passed by each other Bill couldn’t hold his tongue anymore so he finally spoke up. “You haven’t given any of them a real phone number, Tom.” The dreadheaded boy lifts his head up from his phone, acting confused about what his twin brother was saying.

“Don’t act stupid. 789-444-4433. That’s not even in Germany!” His hands flared up into the air. Georg and Gustav acted as if they weren’t listening as they continued to battle on the motorcycle races. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Tom shrugged, entering his tokens into the machine.

Bill hacks up a laugh, throwing a hand over his mouth. “Are you being loyal to someone we don’t know about?” Tom fucks up on his game immediately losing, his eyes drag to the view of his brother. “What?”

“Not giving them your numbers, not wanting to fuck? Who are you and what have you done to my twin?” Bill says in disgust, not believing that his brother could actually be a gentleman and not want to fuck around for one night. Let alone the three weeks that it has been. “I’m spending time with you guys.” Tom shrugs once more, not giving much else. But it did give a distaste to Bill's mouth. There was no way that was his brother’s answer. 

“You really like [Name].” Bill whispers, Tom’s eyes widen. “What are you on, Bill?” 

“I’m so right.” His black hair shuddered with the rest of his body as he laughed loudly, his brother tried to shut him up but it was no use he wasn’t going to stop. “You know it’s okay to not hate her.” Georg lays a hand on Tom’s shoulder. “I do hate her!” Tom shoves him off of him. 

“Yeah, okay. And Gustav isn’t smitten with Johanna.” He laughs and Gustav makes a face, putting his hands up as he motions to why he was brought up into it. 

“I do.” He frowns, crossing his arms. “You’re trying to convince yourself  more than you’re trying us.” Gustav sighs, 

“She’s dating Jace, what does it matter how I feel?” He asks them.

“Like that’s going to last. Either she or he will end it. That’s when you swoop in and take care of her.” Bill proudly states. 

“Whatever.” Tom rolls his eyes.

They continued to play for the last ten minutes before meeting the girls at the bar. “So, you going to be nicer to her?” Bill asks a bit too loudly for Tom’s liking causing him to wince, cringing at his brother's words. “Shut up, Bill. We don’t talk about the arcade conversation.” He practically pleads with his eyes. His twin knows this and he has to stop his teasing. As much as he doesn’t want to he needs to let him figure out his own feelings. Along with [Name]. That definitely doesn’t mean he’s not going to give them a little push to help.

The night ended up going really good, [Name] changed into a black tank top and baggy sweatpants for the performance. Needing to look more edgy for her brand than what she was wearing. The brightness of it all would’ve been weird with the songs she sang. She placed on rings and jewelry that matched her liking for the music.

Not noticing Tom staring at her as she did what she was good at. She performed. Even for the little audience, she put on her best show. She always did. She was very humble, knowing she could do little for these people and still get paid the same she did more. She let everyone enjoy it the same.

Something even Tom couldn’t not fall for. 

He knew she wouldn’t want him after his words, but he was content in admiring her from afar. As long as he knew she was in a good relationship. He knew, deep down he knew he couldn’t make her happy. 

He screwed it up once with her and he wasn’t going to do it again.

And he was going to push her away to manage it. He knew she was in the hall. He knew she was listening. He said what he did to make her hate him. He was confusing her own feelings for Jace. Grabbing her arm before she went on the date was just to solidify the fact that she really did listen and by the look of her face he knew. 

He has succeeded.

He succeeded in making sure she got with Jace so it would hurt less than having to see her in any physical relations on the tour. All he has to hear about were the phone calls and the text messages they had with one another. He was okay with that.

But now that he had caught up with all of his feelings he couldn't get himself to not feel guilty every time a girl came up to him. It was like those words in the magazine made his mind think he had to be loyal to her.

He didn't mind listening to his heart. Being loyal to [Name] and being alone for the rest of this childish love he had for her.

What he didn't know was that day they ran errands was the beginning of [Name]'s uncomfortableness with their hatred. His words just made it harder for her to push forward in this story of love.

I'm back:) Still sick surprisingly. Don't know what is going on but this flu and whatever will not go away. But I pushed through to make a chapter. And I'm hoping to make more tonight. But don't be hopeful. This shit got me fucked.

[retnym]

I’m sorry I’ve been so inactive! I’m hoping to have a chapter out tomorrow, Thursday and Friday. I went to the doctors today and it turns out I have the Flu and Bronchitis:( I’ve been sick since Saturday and I have barely gotten better. So sorry for the wait and thank you for your patience fr!

[retnym]

WORLD TOUR- .06

"Publicity isn't so bad."

“What the fuck!?” I shouted, storming out of my bedroom into the living room where everyone except Tom was. “What’s up?” Georg was the first to speak up as he took a drink of his coffee. I aggressively start tapping on my phone and then show what I was just looking at. 

We recently got touch screen phones, finally getting rid of the flip phones so we can do more on these it’s just sadly smaller than you’d like to have. Georg takes the device, letting Gustav see as well. After a few seconds of reading they burst into laughter. “It’s not that funny.” I huff, crossing my arms as Gustav shows the phone to Johanna who presses her lips together tightly, trying not to look me in the eyes.

“I want to see.” Bill pushes through them, taking it from them. “Oh boy.” He slaps a hand over his mouth, cracking up. “What’s so funny?” And here we go. Tom joins the room holding a Coke and an apple in the other hand. We all look at him, the others try to hold their laughter in as I just look annoyed.

Bill silently walks over to him with my phone, as Tom reads he takes a bite of his apple, we all watch his reaction as his face contorts when he’s reading his eyebrows lifting in surprise. “Gross.” I shake my head, finally going over to the twins and taking my phone back from them. Turning it off and shoving it into my back pocket.

What’s on my phone is an article on the internet that’s going to be placed on the front page magazine in stores for everyone to see. It’s pictures of Tom and I from yesterday and it’s made to look like we were a lot closer than we actually were. The main thing read: “Tom Kaulitz and [Name] [Last Name] seen together out and about, eating, at the dry cleaners and at a supermarket. Are they the next big couple?” 

First of all, ew, ew ew, ew. Second of all that’s so creepy, they literally have pictures from every single place we went and just because we ran errands together all of a sudden we’re a couple? “That’s pretty funny.” Gustav chuckles and Johanna agrees. “Well, it wouldn’t have even happened if you guys didn’t leave us.” I roll my eyes as they just snicker at each other and go back to playing a tic-tac-toe game.

“Publicity isn’t so bad.” Bill shrugs, “It is if it’s saying I’m with Tom.” I remind him and he sighs, motioning that I kind of have a point. “I mean there’s nothing we can do about it now.” Georg points out and Tom hums in agreement taking another bite from his apple. “I guess you’re right.” I stare at the floor sadly.

What is Jace gonna think?

Has he already seen it? Is he going to hate me? 

Johanna taps me on the shoulder and I snap out of my thoughts, we should probably talk anyways. I take her hand and we go into my bedroom together. I shut the door carefully before the both of us jump onto the bed. 

“Seriously nothing happened?” She asks, I take out my phone and nod, placing it next to us. “We just talked if that’s something to your nothing.” I shrug.

“Why?” My eyes follow up to hers as she seems to almost be in another world as she thinks before she speaks. “I don’t know.” 

“Did something happen with Gustav?” I smirk, and she snaps in my direction. “Huh?” She slightly chokes on her own saliva as I start laughing. “So there is something?” I tease her only to get swatted away. “We’re just friends.” 

“For now.”

“Don’t change the subject, what did you guys talk about? Are you two good now?” She goes back to Tom and I take a deep breath wanting to continue to make fun of her but this seems to really pique her interest. “Just things, and I think so. Hopefully.” I whisper the last part but I think she heard. “What about Jace?” She quickly changes the subject and I just throw my head back. 

“He comes over soon to pick me up.” I bite on my bottom lip as I think about the magazine and about things Tom said yesterday. “Are you guys going to try doing the distance thing again?” This question stumbles me and it reminds me again of Tom. His face flashes as he tells me there are so many guys who want to be with me and here I am thinking about Jace. 

“I think I’ll have my answer when he gets here.” I lay back on the bed, I play with my fingers as a million thoughts race through my mind. I felt Johanna join me, her head lying next to mine. We stayed in comfortable silence for what seemed like hours which in reality it had only been six minutes. 

“I’m thirsty.” She mumbles and I turn to her. “Get water.” 

“I don’t want to get up.” She groans like a baby so I roll my eyes and get right back up. “What do you want?” I throw a hand to my hip as she smiles innocently at me. “A sprite.” 

I roughly open the door only to hear the boys talking so being me and since they didn’t hear the door I gently closed it and tip-toed to the end of the hall, listening in. “I can’t believe you guys didn’t argue at all.” Bill giggles, and the other two join. I try to hold back a laugh too as it does seem nearly impossible as we spend so much time arguing. “I only let her complain to me so we weren’t causing a scene in public,” Tom informs them and my eyebrows furrow at his words.

“Like I’ve said before, she’s desperate for attention, any guy that looks her way she’ll give into and I was only proving a point for myself.” He takes a drink from his coke loudly and whatever smile that was left on my face drops. My heart pounded and felt like it was going to leap out of my throat.  “Yesterday was just to help us get through the tour.” 

“That’s not right, Tom,” Gustav says and I glance from the wall, they were all facing the other direction but from their energies, they all seemed disappointed. Bill looked like he was spacing out. “She was a little right man, you are a dick.” Georg sighs. A few seconds pass by and I clear my throat letting them know I was about to walk by. 

All their demeanors change but I don’t acknowledge them, just heading straight to the kitchen and grabbing what I was even coming out for. Then heading right back to my bedroom. I stand outside the door, hearing them talk again. “Do you think she heard?” Bill worriedly asked. “Hopefully not,” Gustav adds. 

Dropping my head for a split second I open the door and lift my shoulders, placing a fake smile upon my face. I hand her the drink and we continue talking. But that conversation I eavesdropped in never left my mind. 

As we were now just relaxing and listening to music after we had just fought over what show to watch but of course not being able to pick we just landed on music and lay there. I felt the bed vibrate and I shoot up, having to shove the blankets and pillows around as I searched for my phone. “Here.” Johanna laughs and I take it from her. 

It was a text message from Jace saying he was outside. “He’s here.” 

“Already?” She whines, “I’ll see you before the show.” I grab my bag and slip on some shoes. “Tell me how it goes.” Jo whistles and I laugh, nodding and running out of the room. As I was about to open the front door a hand goes onto my bicep. “Wait, where are you going?” 

Tom smiles at me and I wince, closing my eyes shut before relaxing my shoulders and turning to look at him. “Out with Jace.” I fake a smile. “Oh,” His smile slightly faulters. “Have fun.” He lets go og me and I just walk out of the door. 

I make the decision before the show, that’s what I told Jace and that’s what I’m going to do.

“Hey, beautiful.” Jace was standing on the passenger side of his car, opening the door for me. I stand on my tip toes and kiss his cheek. “Hi, babe.” I drag my hand on his torso before getting into the car. He shuts the door and makes his way to the driver's side as I glance to back to the house and I swear I saw someone looking through the window.

Whatever. 

Jace ends up just getting fast food and we sit in the parking lot. “So,” He coughs, swallowing the bite he had in his mouth, covering his face with a hand before he continues.

“I saw that article from yesterday.” And my heart drops and so does my appetite. I place down my fries and adjust my body to face him. “I thought the others were supposed to be there.” He says but it was more in a questioning way. I nod, wiping my hands on my jeans. “There were, but they left us alone and honestly the only time we really talk was in the supermarket. He’s an asshole anyways.” I sigh, taking a little sip of the drink that we’re sharing. 

“I wasn’t questioning you, I just thought they cropped out the others.” He laughed, but he saw my face was still down so he sighs then talks again. “I thought you two were getting along though.” He places his hand atop mine and I sadly look into his eyes. “Me too.” 

I explain what I overheard and as I talked I watched as his jaw clenches, I squeeze his hand and smiled. “It’s okay though, I don’t know why I thought we were actually going to stop hating each other.” I laughed, he just shakes his head. “It’s not okay, you aren’t desperate.” He takes my face into his hands.

That’s when I got my answer.

My answer for being with him. 

“I want to try.” I suddenly whisper to him and his eyes widen. 

“Really?” He smiles and I nod dramatically. “Let’s do it,” I say and he kisses me roughly before peppering the kisses around my face causing me to laugh. 

It was all cut short by the sound of my phone going off. “Shit, it’s Gustav,” I mutter, quickly answering the call. “Hey, we gotta go in sooner than we thought, be there in 20,” Gustav tells me. “Okay, see you there.” 

“Of course, love you.” He calls out and I laugh. “Love you too.”

“I have to get to the theater for our last concert. Sorry to cut this short.” I frown and he motions it off. “Let’s get you there on time.” He kisses me one last time before driving off. 

Getting to the building the both of us were rushing inside, having to push past workers on accident of course having to yell  “I’m sorry!” Over and over again. 

Once we met up with everyone else I let go of Jace’s hand and went straight to Johanna. “We’ve decided.” I laugh, the boys listened in, acting like they weren’t but I know them better than that. “Yes?” She took my hands. “We’re trying out the distance.” I squeal and she pulls me into a hug.

“Congratulations!” She grins, Bill puts himself into the hug as well, jumping up and down with us. “That’s so exciting!”

Then we stop and I glance over to Tom who isn’t saying or doing anything but after what he said earlier I just look back to the others who started threatening Jace that if he hurts me again he’s dead.

I don’t know if this is a good idea but I might as well enjoy it while it lasts.

Alright, it's gettin good for real! Now here's more drama. I told you the enemy part wasn't over yet. It probably won't be until like chapter... I'm not even going to say it because I said so. I'm still sick as hell but I wanted a chapter out so I made it happen. I hope I can do the same tomorrow. But until next time:)

[retnym]

WORLD TOUR- .05

"You aren't denying it."

Tomorrow will be our last show in our home country and due to that, we’re going to run some errands for the tour. Like getting food for the bus. Unfortunately, Bill and Georg can’t come. Bill has to do some voice lessons for my songs so he joins me in on stage. Due to my higher range, he needs a little bit of help with it. Georg is just visiting family before he leaves. They have a lot going on so they demanded they saw him.

So it’s just going to be me, Tom, Gustav, and Johanna. Jace wanted to come but I had to straight up tell him it’s just for the group and it’s okay if we spend a few hours away from each other. Ever since I got drunk he’s been overly clingy and I don’t know how to tell him to stop. In the same breath though we are leaving for about a year so I understand. I don’t exactly remember what happened the night I got drunk all I remember is smelling like beer and Tom following me to the bathroom? Then he was gone and Jace was there hugging me.

Bill told me Jace spilled beer on me and that’s why I stormed off to the bathroom but he never said anything about Tom joining. Why would he even go after me? 

This is why I don’t get drunk I hate not remembering things clearly. 

Jace keeps texting me but I’ve been ignoring the messages, I get he’s trying to make this work but he was right in the beginning, distance is not going to work for a year. If he really wants me and I want him he will wait. What sucks is everyone is getting along with him super well. He’s even growing on Tom. Tom of all people! 

But this day is not about Jace, it’s about errands that I need to run with the band members, plus Jo. 

Speaking of Jo, we’re currently driving to a food court before doing our actual errands.

“Is there a specific place I need to park?” I speak up, my eyes flickering around the area. “No, just the front with the sign.” Jo shrugs, pulling out my phone because she’s going to have to call Tom who was being a victim of Gustav’s driving. 

Even though we dislike each other I would never wish for someone to be a passenger to Gustav. Jo puts the phone up to my ear and it only rings twice before someone answers. “Hello?” It was Tom, I don’t know why I didn’t know that. 

“Hey, we just parked. Meet you inside?” I ask him, I actually just pulled into a spot but he doesn’t need to know every single detail. Taking the phone properly from Johanna. “Yeah, what are we eating?” 

“Mexican… I thought that’s what we agreed on.” I remind him, “Oh yeah, right. See you then.” He tells me and I just hum in response, ending the phone call. “That wasn’t awkward at all.” Jo laughs as we both unbuckle and get out of the car. 

We got inside and ordered everyone’s food, Johanna went to find a spot as I waited for the food to be ready. And of course, I know their orders, we’ve known each other practically since birth having to hang out so much you just tend to know things. “Hey, need help?” A voice rings out behind me, almost scaring me as I was holding a large tray with all the food on it. It was just Gustav with a lopsided smile, trying not to laugh at my face that obviously showed I just had a mini heart attack. 

“Yeah, you ass. Take the drinks.” He does as told and we make our way through the tiny crowd, getting to our seats where Tom and Johanna sat. I sat next to Jo and Gustav sat across from her. That left Tom in front of me. He was on his phone, quietly mumbling a thank you to me for paying and getting the stuff.

I watched as Gustav and Johanna were talking and laughed together. It made me so happy that they were getting along… maybe even having something more than that. Thinking about that brought me back to Jace sadly. 

I don’t know what’s stopping me from being with him. We were happy together for a year, it didn’t end on bad terms and he obviously really likes me. But something… something is just pausing all that and not letting me be happy with him. 

“[Name]!” Johanna taps me, and my body shivers as I lost the trance I didn’t even realize I was in. “Gustav has to leave. I’m going to drive him with his car.” She informs me and I raise a brow, confused. “Something happened with my brother, I don’t think it’s a good idea to drive.” He explains further, I just nod my head. My eyes scanned between the three of these people. They’re leaving me with Tom.

“Did you really not hear anything?” Tom questions me, I give him a look. “Obviously not.” I roll my eyes, looking back at the two who stood up, taking their food with them. “Um, I hope everything is okay. Be safe.” I stand up to hug them goodbye. We haven’t even been here for twenty minutes and they already got to go. They didn’t even waste a second to get out of there. I turn to Tom but he was already back on his phone and eating so I just continue to eat my own food as well.

As I finished up I started noticing all the fans around us, sneakily taking pictures or just freaking out about us being in public like we aren’t people too. Ignoring it I just put my napkins in the box with the little food left. “Want me to throw yours away?” 

His eyes look up from his screen and he looks down at his trash then just nods. “Cool, love not being answered with words.” I stand up, picking up both our things and then throwing them away. Once I walk back he was up and putting his phone away. “What’s first?” He asks.

“Dry cleaners for our one outfit for tomorrow and then this dark-looking store Bill needs something in.” I lead the way, he walks beside me and I bite my bottom lip, picking off the skin as I think about this situation. It’s mainly awkward but I’m nervous we’re going to blow up into an argument and I punch him again. 

“What’s wrong?” He scrunches his nose, looking at me up and down. “What?” I shrug my shoulders, not understanding what he’s saying. “You’re biting your bottom lip. You do that when you’re nervous about something.” He points out, pressing his lips together as he showed he was basically just stating the obvious. 

“Right, I’m thinking about how today is going to go. How it’s just you and I.” We get back to my car, we’re on either side of the vehicle now and we talk over the hood. “Nothing will happen on my end if that makes you feel better.” 

“How do I believe that?” I laugh. 

“Swear on Bill that we both won’t?” He sticks his pinky out over the hood and I go to take it but my arm is too short. We both snicker and just get into the car. “I swear,” I tell him as I start the car. “See.” He shrugs. 

We went to the dry cleaners and the darker store for Bill. It was easy in and out but the supermarket is where we’re going to take years in. 

“Wanna split up?” I face Tom after getting a shopping cart but his eyes just widen as he stares at me. “I’m going to take that as a no?” We start walking through the doors. “I don’t even remember what we’re getting.” He whines causing me to laugh mainly to myself. 

“Food, drinks, toiletries,” I say, we go into the fruit and veggies section first. His hand held onto the cart even though I was walking it. It was like he was a lost child having to follow me around. “What food are we getting?” 

“Well, Gustav and Jo want some fruit so that’s what we’re getting first. Do you want any?” I ask, stopping the cart in front of the berries, he hums randomly picking up a bag of apples to inspect it for some reason. I shake my head, trying to find specific cherries for Gustav. “Uh, I’ll just throw things in if I want it.” He tells me. 

“Ah alright, and you’re paying for said stuff with your own money?” I smirk to myself as I check out the cherries making sure they’re mainly not bruised and all that good stuff. He snaps his head my way. “I thought we had Bill’s card?” He brings up. 

“Yes but for his stuff.” I toss the cherries into the cart. “And I have all the boy’s cards.” 

“Why?” He quizzes, he was still holding the bag of apples but paying attention to me as I look at the other fruit. “They trusted me with them. They asked for specific things.” I enlighten him as he was acting like he was offended that no one trusted him with the cards. 

“Are you upset, Tommy?” I pretended to pout, he just flips me off in response causing me to laugh. “How are you so trustworthy?” He places his hands on his hips after putting the apples in the cart. I take a deep breath, looking up at him from the fruit. “How are you?” I rebuttal in defense.

“How am I not?” 

“You’re acting like a child Tommy.” I toss a few more things into the buggy, starting to walk to another section and Tom follows suit. He stays silent for a few moments and so I just go back to putting some vegetables into the baggies they give out not paying attention to the dreadhead anymore. 

Next thing I know he has a cucumber in my face. “You need this?” He waves it around and I just stare at him as he laughs. “Oh wait, you got Jace for that now.” He goes to place it down but my silence alarms him so his eyes are squinted as he looks up at me as if he knows so much already. “Are you guys not good anymore?” He picks the same cucumber back up.

“We’re fine.” I laugh, shoving the vegetable away from me. “I don’t know, your face is telling me otherwise.” He takes a baggy and puts it into there. I take a deep breath and try walking away from him but he just speeds up his pace to stay next to me. “Hey, it’s cool if you’re having issues.” He starts smacking the bagged cucumber on his hand. “We aren’t. And why would I replace him with a vegetable?” I keep the same fast pace and he started struggling to do the same as he grabbed onto his pants to keep them up. 

“Ah, you got a lil something in your drawer?” He smirks again, playing with his piercing. I just playfully gag, shoving him away from me. “You’re gross, Tom.” 

“You aren’t denying it.”

“Fine,” I stop by the deli section now. “I don’t have a dildo. I’m not replacing Jace he’s just a little much right now.” I inform him, grabbing some sandwich meat for Georg. 

“A little much?” He raises a brow.

“A little clingy.” I sigh, I can’t believe I’m talking to Tom about this out of all the band members. Of course, he’s not going to say anything to them but still. “Clingy?”

“Stop repeating what I’m saying by shortening it a little bit.” I snap and he puts his hands up in defense. “My bad, but what’s so bad about clingy?”

“Remember how he left me at 16? Since I traveled so much and everything?” I remind him and he nods. He wasn’t exactly around during that time but also Tom and I started our hatred for each other a few months before Jace came around. Which was when I just turned 15. 

“I remember.” He nods, “Well, the night of our first show he told me he wants us back. And As excited as I was to see him before the show, it made me think back to the actual very beginning.” I exclaim, tensing my hands around the bar of the cart. “Him leaving was too hard. I’m not doing it again. Honestly, I don’t want the same thing again.” I overly explain at this point and it makes me just want to shut my mouth right away but his response made me want to let the words flow like a stream.

“You have every right to how you think but you should let him know before we leave. Or ghost his ass on tour.” He tells me and I start chuckling. “I can’t do that.” 

“I mean nothing is stopping you.”

“My mind.” I point to my head dramatically.

“What’s making you keep him around?” He throws a cereal box into the cart along with bendy straws that are around it. I give him a weird look but just ignore it. “Can I get deep with you?” I bite at my bottom lip, staring at him. I don’t know what I’m doing. We hate each other and all of a sudden we’re in a store talking like we’ve been friends for the past three years. 

“I won’t tell anyone we got along if you won’t.” He sticks his hand out, stopping in the middle of the aisle like I did in the deli section. I glance down at his hand and then back at him. “Deal.” I shake on it. 

“I don’t think anyone else could love me as much as he does. I don’t want to lose that.” I laugh awkwardly, it feels weird saying it out loud. Again… to Tom. “Don’t think like that. His love is phony young love. You could definitely find something better.” He throws a few more things in the cart and at this point, his stuff was overpowering everyone else. If anything I’ll put some on Bill’s card and I won’t tell him. 

“You don’t know that though.” I remind him. “Dude, there’s guys around the world who would just love to fucking poke you. Trust me there’s someone.” He says a bit harshly but I had to give it to him, he was right.

Guys getting even eye contact from me to blow their minds. But I don’t want that. I want someone to want me for me not for because they knew me from my fame. “I am pretty great.” I gloat.

“Ah, don’t get too ahead of yourself.” He shakes his hands in my direction and I roll my eyes. “Like you aren’t?” We enter the toiletry area. “I am simply humble.” He says and I lift my eyebrows giving him a certain look and he starts laughing. 

“Okay.” I stretch up to reach a certain toilet paper and as I was grabbing it I didn’t see but there was one above about to fall. “Woah, be careful.” He comes right behind me, catching it but accidentally bumping me so his hand is on my waist to make sure we both don’t fall. I quickly turn around and apologize profusely. “Dude, you’re good.” He laughs, putting the toilet paper not where it was beforehand and then taking the one I held and putting it into the cart. 

The rest of the time was pretty simple, once we got to the register we had to make a bunch of different payments for each member, along with a few things for Johanna. Tom’s stuff took the longest and I’m surprised we even fit everything into one cart. 

Leaving together he took the cart this time and I just walked beside him. It was a more comfortable silence now. 

“Today was pretty good,” I said after we put all the stuff into my car. He looked at me, tilting his head. “Surprisingly… Yeah, it was.” He agreed. 

“Maybe we don’t have to hate each other anymore?” I laugh and he takes a deep breath. “That’s gonna be pretty hard.” My mouth goes into an ‘O’ shape, “Wow.” I huff out a little laugh and he grins at me. “We don’t gotta hate each other but don’t think the comments are gonna stop.” He points at me. “Wouldn’t dream of it because mine aren’t stopping either.”

This chapter is a little rushed and trust me their enemy part is not over yet. This is a decoy hoe. So be ready. I'm also incredibly sick right now so it's very hard to focus I've had like a lot of breaks typing this out so that's why it took so long. I'm sorry for that and I'm hoping I feel better tomorrow so I can write more. Thank you for your patience.

[retnym]

WORLD TOUR- .04

"Don't call me that."

We’re still in Germany for a few more weeks, having two other shows then moving on to the next country. During this time Jace will be hanging around us. Once we leave he has to go back to college. He’s been taking me on small dates like dinners and little shopping sprees. Well, it was more we walked around, I don’t like people spending money on me. I really just enjoy the company. And this company won’t last long once the distance becomes too much once again. 

I might as well keep him around to get my mind off the stress of touring though. It also bothers Tom that he’s around so it’s a plus in my book. Bill, Georg, and Gustav have been hanging around him as well. It’s been a week and a half since our second show. These are a little spaced out only because there was supposed to be another but the building it was in got shut down. I couldn’t tell you why but it did. 

Since the boys hang out with Jace, I’ve been with Johanna during that time. They only hang out with him when Tom isn’t around though so it’s a rare occasion. Some bro-code they have they can’t all hangout together.

Weird.

Tonight we’re going out to dinner together. Even Tom will be there. It’s a night to just relax and be around each other. These shows will be tiresome and this is about to be a crazy time. 

It’s a casual but formal dinner so I dressed in a black silk dress that has a slit on the leg that starts from the top of my thigh all the way down. Silver heels to match. I was currently waiting for Jace to pick me up, I kissed Springroll goodbye and decided to wait outside. 

I live with my aunt for the time being. I thought about getting my own house but since I travel so often there’s no point. My cat will stay with my aunt until after the Germany shows then I’ll pick her up and she’ll travel with me on the bus. 

Pulling out my phone real quick I check the time. It’s 6:13, Jace was supposed to be here 13 minutes ago. It’s a good thing I wasn’t the one who made the reservations. He’s been doing this every day. He’s late to come to get me for everything, always having an excuse too. 

I still haven’t given him an answer on us trying again but he seems keen on getting me to be his. I’m going to make him work for it a little longer though. 

A horn honks from down the street and I step down the stairs of the porch as his car pulls up near the mailbox. I wanted to wait for him to get out and open the door for me but we are running too late to be dramatic about opening a door. Getting in with a huff he immediately drives off before I even buckle my seat. 

The car ride was short, his driving being a little crazy as he swerved around other cars, almost running a few lights and signs. My hand never un-tensing. His one hand was on my thigh and the other was on the wheel. 

Once we came to a stop, I got out of the car as fast as possible. “What’s the rush?” He laughed, slowly getting out of the car. I tried forcing myself to laugh too but it came out almost like a croak. “We’re late, Jace. They’re waiting for us.” I don’t even wait for him to catch up with me, I’m already at the doors to the restaurant. 

“Reservation?” A man who looks like he’s in his younger 20s asks me. “Oh, Kaulitz?” He nods, motioning for me to follow him. Jace was now behind me, he never sped up he kept the same pace. It frustrated me a tiny bit but what can you do?

“There’s Jo!” I smile, waving to her. It looks like she just got out of the bathroom. She returns the favor and walks over to me. She was wearing a dark green velvet feel dress that had long sleeves but her cleavage showed and it looked amazing. She pulls me into a hug and we continue to follow the guy to the table. 

“There she is!” Georg grins, high-fiving me. Bill scoots over and we sit next to him. Johanna was next to Gustav. It was a curved booth, so it went Georg, Tom, Gustav, Johanna, Bill, me, and then Jace. I was right across from Tom. He was on his phone, no surprise there of course.

 I couldn’t stop myself from looking at him though. His dreads were down and it was weird seeing him without a hat. Before I could think too much Jace had taken my hand and I smile up at him and then join the conversation with the others. They were all wearing button-ups and nice pants. Nothing too fancy but it was something.

We started drinking right as the food came in. It was just the appetizer so we didn’t even feel a buzz with our drinks yet, that’s when I tapped my spoon on the glass earning everyone’s attention. My eyes flickered between Johanna to Tom who automatically looked up my way.

“So, I have been meaning to bring something up.” I laugh awkwardly, now with everyone’s eyes I began to feel a little nervous. Biting at the dead skin of my bottom lip and taking a deep breath I continue. Even as a performer, I get extremely nervous with complete silence.

Also, something on my mind has me suddenly confused with my thoughts.

“Um, we all know Johanna is a pretty good photographer. She’s also very organized. Unlike most of us.” I adjust the top of my dress, letting go of Jace’s hand to wipe the sweat onto my dress but it doesn’t help wearing silk. “I want her to be our personal photographer, along with managing certain things for us. Helping us get interviews, ads for products, speaking for us over the phone, things like this that we’re too busy for.” I explain to them, glancing at her who nervously stared at the table. Her leg was bouncing up and down, I could tell from the way her body is shaking slightly. “That’d be amazing.” Bill was of course the first to speak up and I let out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding. “I think it sounds like a good plan.” Gustav shrugs, smiling at Johanna whose eyes lit up like stars. 

“What do you think, Tom?” Bill asks his brother and Tom was playing with his piercings, jumping from the sudden attention his way. “I don’t think it’s a bad idea. We do need it.” He points out and we all look at him like he’s crazy. “What?” He gives a look. 

“No negative input?” Georg chuckles. “Why would I?” He asks and a few of us deadpan, his eyes lock with mine and he finally seems to get it. “My comments go to you, not innocent bystanders.” I roll my eyes at what he said but then Jace says something. “But I do?” Tom just presses his lips together awkwardly before going onto his phone. I cough to get the tension to just go away.

The night ended up getting better as we ate. We all started drinking even more, except Jace who we all decided was going to drive us home. The others got dropped off by other people because they knew they were going to drink. 

Let me tell you, we were having a blast. Laughing loudly as we ate, telling stories and jokes with each other.

Since it was getting pretty late I order my last shot and beer. Quickly taking the shot I went to grab the beer but Jace stops me. “You might want to slow down.” He places a hand on my lower back but I shake my head. “I’m enjoying myself.” I went to take another sip but Jace takes it from me completely. My face scrunches in confusion along with a little irritation. “Give it back, Jace,” I mutter going to take it again. “Drink water at least.”

“I have been. Just give it.” I please with him. “[Name].” He warns but I slide the cup back my way. “[Name]-” “You’re not my boyfriend,” I whisper, bringing it up to my lips he tries to grab it and it spills on my chest, sliding down my dress. I gasp, standing right up and climbing over him. “Woah, what happened?” Bill laughs.

I just ignore him pushing myself over Jace’s lap which was quite difficult in a dress and with the small amount of room with the table. I’m sure I was giving Georg and Gustav a show. “I’m sorry.” He says, trying to help me but I push him back. Speeding off to the bathroom even though I’m stumbling a little bit he stays behind me. “Wait, slow down.” I try to continue walking but Tom… I mean Jace grabs my wrist right as we're outside the bathroom. The music played loudly so even if we argued no one was to hear. I don’t really care though, I’m drunk off my ass. 

“Babe, I’m sorry.” I slam myself accidentally against the wall, standing up straight. “Don’t call me that.” I put a finger against his chest.

“We aren’t dating. You left me.” I shove him with every word. “I know, I know.” He whispers, his face looking a bit blurry. I slowly blink, forgetting exactly what I was saying but I keep running at the mouth. “You announce how you feel and then next I’m nothing to you. Sleeping around with all those-” I cut myself off with a cry and his face contorts again and it’s Jace once more. “What? That- I didn’t.” He looked confused and even when drunk I can realize where I messed up. “You’re a dick. You had a girlfriend for a month and you’re back to me?” I hide my face in my hands and he pulls me into a hug. 

“I’ll always love you, that’s why.” He kisses my head and I close my eyes.

Why did I say that?

Shorter of a chapter but this is kind of getting more into you and Tom as the chapters go on. It's still a slow burn so figuring everything out might take a minute.