retromutagn
retromutagn
the same pressure would've pulled you under.
276 posts
ind. sel. tmnt multimuse / by levi.
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retromutagn · 7 months ago
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sorry for disappearing for literal weeks LMAO I started my phd program and it has been. a lot ++ i've mostly been on my original character multi! Will likely do a starter or inbox call or sm here soon though
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retromutagn · 9 months ago
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80s irma was such a perfect character that everyone knew they wouldn't be able to live up to her so they haven't even tried since then
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retromutagn · 9 months ago
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it's kind of a funny story (musical) sentence starters
sentence starters from drew gasparini's musical, available on youtube. contains references to suicide, psychiatric care, abuse, and similar. feel free to change wording/pronouns as needed. 
"it's so hard to talk when you want to kill yourself."
"this seems like what doctors might do when they're guessing."
"you'd think getting older would make all of this easier."
"i tried to tell you, but you didn't understand."
"he's single-handedly keeping the marijuana industry alive."
"i like girls."
"my family loves me. well, they put up with me."
"on paper, we're perfect, but paper is thin."
"fasting today makes the food good tomorrow. german proverb."
"they think they know what's best for me, but they don't."
"waiting for solutions is unfeasible."
"there's still a chance to be all right."
"i'll rely on myself to do the right thing."
"i don't want to not feel like me anymore."
"maybe what i have is something fixable."
"everybody here is looking for the same thing."
"the world outside these walls isn't made for everyone."
"has anyone ever told you that you have an interesting energy?"
"let me guess, you have depression."
"she's like a stephen king novel wrapped in a robert frost poem."
"life might whisper, but death likes to shout."
"i want to figure me out."
"you're always looking down."
"this is the only me i know."
"i can feel you staring at me."
"i'm not staring."
"now you ask me a question."
"you mentioned suicide all on your own."
"i used to really love drawing when i was a kid. i'm not sure why i stopped."
"what makes you happy?"
"your parents must think highly of you."
"what, is it embarrassing?"
"you don't have to answer that. i'm sorry."
"you're cool. and cute."
"i always feel like i'm bracing for something."
"you're the reason that you're here."
"i always wanted to be someone people celebrates quietly in their heads."
"he completely changed."
"the truth hurts sometimes, and i don't want to hurt anyone."
"i should look nice, but i look like me."
"do you think the world plays fairly?"
"i go from high to low, then only low."
"what's normal isn't here or there."
"it's the stories that i miss."
"one small kiss, and you trust him."
"i'm used to not being kissed."
"everyone around you seems to see the things you don't."
"it's easy to feel alone when you aren't feeling heard."
"i've started to miss seeing you happy."
"it's a scary path through self exploration."
"did you know that you don't have to be the hero?"
"i promise to hang on every single word."
"if no one's right, then we're all alright."
"even if they're hidden, everyone has scars."
"look around you. everybody's here."
"i'm me, and i guess that's okay."
"i'm happier than i've ever been."
"i've only just begun to live."
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retromutagn · 9 months ago
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@daftlads asked: 'some people find facial scars attractive.' / dontuna
he's got his goggles on, which lets him sit around four inches away from mituna's face. his interests lie in the non-biological fields, the ones without fluids and skin and people. but first and foremost, he is a scientist, and mituna's scars warrant an exception. the lines expand out from his eyes, lightning strikes traveling across his face. donnie's goggles trace the lines in green, mapping the patterns and filing them away in the cloud. when mituna speaks, he flinches; they're closer than he'd realized. he pulls back (way back) and lowers his goggles to stare at mituna with a more appraising eye. "they're interesting, which some people find attractive." he pulls his goggles back down and raises one hand towards mituna's face. "may i?"
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retromutagn · 9 months ago
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@mutagn asked : is it okay if i come sit down? / dio and leo as well actually…
they're celebrating christmas early, spending the weekend at the farmhouse so that casey and dio can spend the actual holiday with their families. their fathers, a bitter thought that cuts through even the cold wind stinging his cheeks. he ducks further into his coat, embarrassed by his own resentment. it's their first christmas without sensei, and he's handling it about as well as he'd expected. no one's said anything, but he's pretty sure he's the reason they're celebrating here instead of in the lair.
there's enough space already, but he moves over anyways, leaving a wide gap for dio to settle into. "we don't both need to freeze. i'll be in soon." dio sits anyways, not surprisingly, and joins leo in watching empty branches sway. "we used to look for where he hid our christmas gifts every year, but we never found it." he wishes he knew. every day, he thinks of another question he didn't get to ask.
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retromutagn · 9 months ago
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he lifts one sword and squints at his own reflection, warped and slim, then shifts it so that he's staring at chompy's reflection instead. "maybe you should get him a mirror. it'll keep him from wandering for a few minutes, too." he lowers the swords and smiles at chompy the way you can only smile at babies, even when those babies are only a few years out from being able to take over the entire planet. "i'm not zoned out, i'm focused. i'll notice an entire turtle underfoot."
"gravity can't stab him," raph grouses, making his way over with squared shoulders and the lumbering gait of someone that knows he's wrong. it's easy to worry, is all, with chompy's curious nature and unending passion for getting himself hurt. he scoops chompy up at the last second, catching him in one palm and cradling him against his chest. chompy coos, snorts a smoke ring, chews through raph's wrist tie in two bites. "he likes looking at himself in them, is all. you get zoned out when you train, i didn't want to give you more stuff to stress about."
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retromutagn · 9 months ago
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alice dubois edits 1/?: & leonardo @retromutagn, 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘪 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘯𝘶𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦.
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retromutagn · 9 months ago
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Sm interesting about Don's Perception of the first fight is like. The others all make fun of him, but it's in a “um, English please?” way. Meanwhile, his explanation of the events has them being downright vitriolic, which the MM boys rarely are. We've seen other iterations be cruel—the 12 boys in particular are downright awful to each other—but the MM boys are always just silly siblings banter. Donnie perceiving them as like. Almost resentful and sick of him despite this is such a gut-wrenching approach
Similarly, Donnie is always the weakest fighter, but most iterations don't care about this tbh. Like, they might be a little upset by it, but they compensate with their intelligence, so it's fine. They also get those “everyone guards Donnie while he does a tech thing” scenes—this is such a good way of highlighting that Donnie is vital despite not being able to keep up with them physically. Mayhem Don, on the other hand, is both upset about being the weakest fighter AND worried that he isn’t smart enough to be a Real member of the team. It’s similar to 12 Mikey’s arc in many ways tbh, which I find really fun. As a result I do still feel like this Don is the youngest brother tbh
I do think Donnie’s feelings here are mostly internal projecting. The boys would never say stuff like that :( but Donatello so often feels distant and Othered not only by human society but also by his own brothers, and I like that they made that explicit with this Don. He doesn’t relate to them, and he almost puts himself in direct opposition to them in a way that the others don't do? i think he desperately needs some of those "we'll buy you some time" scenes
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retromutagn · 9 months ago
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Comic con haul!! A few of these are gifts for the bestie but they're getting added to my photos
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retromutagn · 9 months ago
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𝐢'𝐦 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞. independent & selective oc since 2015. by dirk, 24, he/him.
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retromutagn · 9 months ago
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ghost quartet sentence starters, part one.    lyrics taken from the songs “i don’t know” through “soldier & rose” from the musical ghost quartet, described as “a haunted song cycle about love, death and whisky,“ written and composed by dave malloy. as per usual, feel free to adjust lines to fit dialect, pronouns, speech patterns of your muse, etc. this stands as the first part in a series of ask memes.
now, i don’t know, but i’ve been told, and that’s true of everything i know.
i don’t even know how to begin.
i don’t even know who i am. i’m not here.
i’ve got a thousand one stories. every single one of them’s a lie.
let me read you a story, let me read you a romance.
i will read, you will listen, and this terrible night will pass.
when i was a child i used to play with all the voices in my head. 
i don’t know if this is me at all or just some ghost of me that i dreamed up just to sing myself to sleep. 
i’m sorry. here, have some whiskey.
sit first, and drink a bit. you need to take care of yourself.
it’s a beautiful name. old fashioned, you don’t hear it a lot anymore. 
i’m a little confused and more than a little frightened.
this is a circular story.
i don’t believe any of this.
don’t you remember?
when i was a baby, i was blessed by a stranger in waters i didn’t understand.
i’m infected with disbelief and blasphemy.
i’ll never have a holy land. 
i am a ghost in the eyes of my god.
i will become the next best thing.
i will light myself on fire.
it’s time to get out of bed and be the starchild i can be.
the game is on my phone.
she selects the sword!
there’s a man on the platform screaming about the apocalypse.
reveal it to me. reveal me everything. reveal it to me, please, right now.
i suffer from a family evil.
i am a slave to terror.
i have a morbid acuteness of the senses. 
i only eat the most insipid foods, only wear garments of certain textures.
the odors of flowers are oppressive to me.
my eyes are tortured by faint light.
there are only certain, peculiar sounds, like those from stringed instruments, that do not inspire me with horror.
i dread the future.
why did you leave me? why did you disappear?
i am a soldier and, as a soldier, i have gotten used to death.
ghosts don’t bother me anymore.
come here, soldier, look me in the eyes.
if i told you i loved you, would you give me some honey?
come here, soldier, sit down in my lap.
if i told you when i saw you i felt a little shock, and that all the stars and moons and skies and birds and trees and sharks and seas and even i began to cry and tremble.
my heart leaps in my throat. i feel electric pulses in my fingertips.
come here, soldier, let me suck your thumb. 
this is special and love is more than chemicals.
it’s me and you and angels, too, and time will end and we’ll transcend and rise above the ash and dirt. 
baby, i could never hurt you.
would you believe me?
do you believe in love?
i am a soldier. i don’t believe in anything.
if you’re gonna steal my honey, please wait until i’m drunk.
take me onto the dance floor and let me cry against your cheek.
i won’t speak. i won’t say a word.
i won’t come back to haunt you.
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retromutagn · 9 months ago
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Daddy Issues Sentences, Vol. 2
(Sentences for discussing the effects of an absent parent and/or confronting one's own father. Adjust phrasing where needed)
"Doesn't it bother you that you don't know who your dad is?"
"I sometimes expect too much of you."
"Tell me about your father? What was he like?"
"Your father was a great man."
"Since when have I had the power to stop you from doing anything?"
"On one level or another, we all want to kill our father."
"I came to make peace with you, even though you're the father of lies."
"You disappoint me."
"Nothing I do is ever good enough for you."
"If the test of a man is how he treats those he has power over, it was a test my father failed."
"No, I'm sorry, but your dad was wrong."
"I don't think I'll be winning any 'father of the year' awards."
"It is difficult for a father to bear less than perfection in his son."
"Of course, I believed him because he's my father."
"Your mother and I kept asking ourselves what we'd done wrong in your upbringing."
"He’s your dad. It doesn’t matter what he does, you’re going to love him."
"All I ever really wanted was for him to love me."
"You have big daddy issues."
"I have a theory on what makes good boys 'good'. It’s not because of some moral imperative."
"What did I do that filled you with so much hate?"
"You can't keep letting other people define you!"
"The situation between my father and myself has not changed."
"You're an embarrassment to me."
"I don't know what your daddy issues are, but don't deflect them on me."
"Even the best-intentioned parents end up damaging their kids."
"I wanted so much to be like you..."
"Why is it you always think you know what's right for me?"
"All I'm saying is, make peace with your father another way."
"My father was emotionally stunted, afraid of getting close, and definitely not the best at goodbyes."
"You're ashamed of me."
"Please don't tell my father!"
"I think I could have forgiven her if she hadn't made me love her, but she did."
"The only people who keep insisting they're not terrible parents are terrible parents."
"He's still the man that's my father, but I'm not the son he used to know."
"Actually, my father is a rather important man."
"I guess nobody gets to choose who their parents are."
"Can I ask what he's done to deserve your loyalty?"
"He's my father. I have the right to avoid his funeral."
"Please let me be your daughter again..."
"I don't like people referring to him as my father."
"I would have killed my father if I could have."
"The relationship between a father and his daughter is tenuous."
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retromutagn · 9 months ago
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Day Nine: Farmhouse
This took a hot minute but it was worth it 🙌🙌 2012 will always hold a special place in my heart and I enjoyed the farmhouse arc so much it’s one of my favs!! The mutant of the week vibe is top tier and the mutant designs were killer (creep and speed demon my beloved)
it would’ve been sick if they did Abigail Finn instead of The Finger Bc I am weak for buff woman who are insane
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retromutagn · 9 months ago
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comic con this weekend >:) not to doxx myself but i currently live 30 minutes from the birthplace of the ninja turtles so you KNOW the comic con is nonstop tmnt content. expect to hear from me
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retromutagn · 9 months ago
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become a color !
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AFTERNOON BLUE - You can be both gentle and relentless. Soothing, and unforgiving, whether that's towards yourself, or others. You're someone who is considered a natural born leader, and you tend to take that title in pride, although there are times when you wish that you wouldn't have to always be the one who makes the decisions. The pressure that you've lived with so far has settled heavily onto your shoulders, and even though you've learned to live with it, you can't help but wonder what it would be like to share that burden with someone else, for once. People have always placed their expectations on you, and you always rise to the task, regardless of whether you think you can really do it or not. It's led to you having some unfair expectations of others. After all, who are they to be so far behind? Who are they to sit and rest, when you must do all this work? You have to learn to let others take some of that burden from you, you have to learn to rest. The only thing truly stopping yourself from resting now is you.
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retromutagn · 9 months ago
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sorry i've died i've been super busy and then i got covid and basically knocked out for a week
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retromutagn · 10 months ago
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when i get someone to write 12 karai it's over for all of us
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