reverlybios

[reverlybios]

September 4, 2023.

So this is my first post back on here…I need an outlet and a release from everything. My mental health is well shit like unfortunately most Americans.

A little about me, I’m a single mom of a 4 year old boy (no, I’m not okay), I am a true Libra born on October 2,1997, so I’m 25 years old. Currently I work as a Ophthalmic Technician at a specialty eye surgery center,but I I am also studying for my real estate license.

Recently I just made a huge transition in my life to move from Florida to New York. When coming to this decision I really didn’t have many options and a lot of people don’t actually know why I ended up moving. At the time I was living with my son in a nice house, in a nice neighborhood in the suburbs and working full time, going to school for nursing full time and obviously being a full time single parent. My son started acting out in school and he ended up getting kicked out of school, so I panicked but I found him a new school and he started there and shortly after he was suspended from that school for similar behavior as the last school….once again as I single parent confused and not really knowing what to do and with no one to really turn to for help and advice..I had to miss work and school and important exams that unfortunately I could not make up. I quickly gave up on school to tend to my child and within the week of him getting suspended and with no child care I had reached out to my one main support system, which was my sons dads mom(my sons grandma).

My sons Grandma had recently moved from Florida back to her home town in Upstate New York and was really no longer around to help. Although we did talk on the phone and what not it wasn’t the same as being in the same state obviously.

She told me that maybe it would be best for my son and I to come to New York and just relocate. I hesitated on this idea. I thought maybe he could go visit his grandma while I figure out another school situation for him to come back to.

Side note: My family and parents live in Florida but were not helpful in any of this really.

After thinking about my situation….I decided to send my son to New York with his grandma while I packed up everything in Florida and moved myself. THIS WAS NOT EASY. But I knew I needed help and support from at least one person who could, would and actually WANTED to be there for my son and I. My son left that weekend and saying goodbye to him was the hardest moment of my life. His grandma flew down to Florida picked him up and then they both flew back to New York.

Two months…It took me two months to find a job, a place to live and pack up an entire house by myself…(Which I did) Not only that but I was moving to a state I had never even been to before which was so intimidating in itself… but it was for my son… for him to have family around and so I could have support to thrive and take a bit of pressure off of m in general.

Two months came and went… Before I knew it I was packing up the U-Haul and getting ready to hit the road…Yes Drive…I rented a 15 foot U-Haul with a drive on trailer attached to it and my car on top and started the roughly 20 hour and 1,244 mile drive from Florida to New York…Oh and by myself…which I still can’t believe..

The trip was not as bad as I imagined I stopped only for gas and bathroom breaks..I did end up getting lost in both Pennsylvania and Washington but in about 25 hours I had arrived at my destination. My sons grandma had found me a multi-family upstairs apartment in the city of Syracuse. I was actually really excited to start a new life and just new opportunities and experiences but I was most excited to see my child again. His grandma had him in an at-home daycare being watched by a family friend who had also watched his dad so that was cool. My son seemed to have been doing well there.

Fast forwarding now to 5 months living here.. I have felt kind of lost, I’m still not quite use to living here in the city being that I am from country suburbs, I don’t necessarily want to move back to Florida I don’t think that’s the case at all but I really also don’t want to live in the inner city of Syracuse. New York on the other hand is an incredible state. Lots of activities to do. The weather is much better than Florida. The mountains are insane… not only that but I’m 3 hours from New York City and about 3 Hours from Canada, which traveling has always been a big part of my life.

Here is the thing…At this very moment I feel like I went backwards, I had a nice house like I mentioned in a good part of the suburbs and, my income was comfortable and I was going to school. At the end of the day I had to do what I needed to do for my child but I don’t know its really hard, and all the changes I really think have been affecting my son…his behavior and attitude is different. I know that four year olds have their moments but in combination with my mental health everyday is a struggle to not just give up. I struggle to allow myself to believe that I made the right decision and that I can thrive wherever I am at.

I have been actively searching for a therapist and seeking help for my mental health, I really don’t wanna get worse… I just wanna be happy…

My son also starts school in two days in the city WHICH MAKES ME SO NERVOUS. It’s just so different here. I don’t even really know how to move because this is all new to me so I really don’t know how to teach it either. I’m struggling to say the least.

I really don’t think anyone will read this but that’s okay because writing as a release may be my thing.

-Beverly.

[reverlybios]

[reverlybios]