revisitingstoneybrook

[revisitingstoneybrook]

#44 Dawn and the Big Sleepover: Chapter 11

Sorry for the long break! I'm back with more from this book and there will be new content coming up that wasn't on the LJ group!

In this chapter, Haley Braddock bores us and...that's pretty much it.

So we have a BSC notebook entry from Mary Anne, writing about her babysitting job for Matt and Haley Braddock, and she said she was hoping to take a break from the pen pal project. *GASP* You heartless wretch! When a BSC member is involved in a project, they go in wholeheartedly, no questions asked! Wait until Kristy finds out *cue lightning and thunder clap*

We start out with Haley begging Mary Anne to let her play Madame Leveaux so she can raise money for her pen pal. And no, Haley isn't planning on performing an exotic cabaret on her front lawn. She wants to tell fortunes, which is actually pretty creative. And Leveaux...the old people? No, that would be Lesvieux. Ok, time to translate this.

Veaux is apparently the plural of veau. Which means...veal. Haley is Madame Veal? She should thank her lucky stars that Dawn isn't babysitting her.

Anyway, Haley is excited when Mary Anne agrees to help out, and she happily signs her plans to Matt. And while I ponder how Jessi and the kids of Stoneybrook were able to pick up ASL quick enough to communicate coherently with Matt (because Dawn just gave us the explanation of who Matt is), Haley gets to work setting up. She emerges from her bedroom in a costume that Dawn describes as something from I Dream of Jeannie.

Old TV show, everyone take a shot!

Haley tries doing an exotic dance that involves "wiggling awkwardly" (ew?) and talks to Mary Anne in an over-pronounced, Eastern European accent. And since this is a BSC book, ghostwriter extraordinaire Peter Lerangis spells it out phonetically. It looks like Mme Noelle's french, but more nasal. If something can look more nasal. Thees eez zuh vay vee speek een Trannnsylvania! I can think of a few Transylvanians who are offended by this stereotype:

They only have an hour until their parents get home, so the kids and Mary Anne get to work, setting up a card table on the front lawn and Mary Anne makes a sign advertising Madame Leveaux's services. Whoa, mind meet gutter. And she actually writes in PRINT on the sign, instead of her usual loopy cursive, so this is the only time I can call Mary Anne's handwriting 100% legible. Haley sits down with a deck of cards and Matt decides he wants to practice catching while Haley works her magic. Good lord, this chapter is boring.

So her first customers are Suzi and Marnie Barrett, along with Mrs. MILF. Why is Mrs. Barrett known as Mrs. MILF? Well, as soon as she saw Haley, Dawn said she flashed a dazzling smile. A smile from Mrs. Barrett alone could raise enough money to rebuild the school on the Zuni reservation.

Mrs. Barrett pays for Suzi to have her fortune told, and Matt pulls the chair out so Suzi can sit down. Haley touches Suzi's forehead while shuffling the cards around and her fortune for Suzi is she sees Buddy at the elementary school's gym, having fun at the sleepover. Um, you'd think for Suzi's fortune, she'd make up something for Suzi and not tell her something about Buddy?

Suzi complains, not because she didn't get her own personal fortune, but because Haley already knew about it and demands her money back. LOL I love the Barretts.

Mrs. Barrett quiets her down and lets Marnie get her fortune told as well. Only Marnie isn't too interested, screams "NO!" and starts crying. And there we have one of like three times I can think of Marnie talking in the entire BSC series. Gabbie Perkins, who's also 2, would sit down and say "Why I am positively delighted to have my fortune told by you, Haley! What is written in the stars about my future?"

The Barretts leave, and Haley says she thinks her veil scared Marnie. Mary Anne tells her not to worry about it, and reminds her that it's OK to make up fortunes, she doesn't have to be accurate. The next customers are a group of 8th grade boys who just so happen to be walking through the Braddocks' neighborhood. Alan Gray, Pete Black, and Justin Forbes. Let me just say, forget Logan Bruno and his hiring a horse-drawn carriage and wanting to buy a ring for his beloved Mary Anne. Alan Gray is the most accurate teenage boy in the BSC series, even though his personality tends to fluctuate a lot. Like sometimes he's the class clown, sometimes he's taking Kristy to dances and sometimes he's even a bully.

I have no clue who Justin Forbes is, but from the way Dawn describes him, it sounds like he was a one-note character in another book, and Peter Lerangis needed another immature 8th grade boy for this scene. Dawn says he prank-called Stacey once and said he was from the Atlanta Pig Farm? It sounds familiar but I don't know what book that was.

Alan sits down to get his fortune told, and calls Haley "Madame Levy-oox" and "Madamee Lee-voke-see-odor." Haley ignores his looniness and pulls a fast one on him, by giving him part of a fortune and telling him to continue, he has to pay more, and ends up collecting two bucks from all three boys. Clever. Either the boys decided to humor the 9-year-old and play along or they're dumb enough to be led on by a 9-year-old. It's actually hard to determine. Haley tells Mary Anne she felt guilty about it, but Mary Anne told her to suppress the feelings like she does, and let them out later when everyone least expects it not worry about it.

Meanwhile, Dawn's finalizing plans for the sleepover. So, 11 chapters into this book, we FINALLY get to what the title's all about. This book should have been called Dawn and the Great Relief Project or Dawn Saves the Zunis or something. Mary Anne comes home and Dawn tells her the Stoneybrook News interviewed her over the phone, and is coming to the sleepover, with a photographer. The toy store's donating prizes, and Pizza Express is donating pizza, and they'll be bringing their stuff over when the photographer's there. See? Being involved with the BSC is the BEST publicity any business in Stoneybrook could ever ask for!

And there will only be four teachers there. So 100 kids, and four teachers, who I guess are there to pick up the slack while the BSC runs the show since they're so much better with kids than teachers are. And some cafeteria workers are showing up in the morning to cook breakfast, pancakes and juice all donated by the supermarket. Mary Anne and Dawn spend the rest of the chapter organizing games and activities and we can finally move onto the point of this whole book!

[revisitingstoneybrook]

Dawn and the Big Sleepover: Chapter 10

I'm getting up to where I left off when I did this for the snark group on LJ, so entries may be sporadic coming up so I can actually write the new content!

In this chapter, Dawn catches some kids cheating the system.

"That's a big box!" And with that, Dawn starts this off with a great, big...

Dawn's remarking on the big box of donations from Buddy Barrett. As soon as he sets it down, Dawn asks if he's expecting a receipt, and sure enough, Dawn has to scribble one down for him. Damn, these kids are taking this seriously! I wonder if Dawn regrets ignoring Mary Anne's concerns that the kids would get too competitive. She glances at the thick legal pad she's holding, which is filled with inventory of all the stuff that had been donated. She said at one point, there was a line of kids waiting to drop stuff off at the barn. See how influential the BSC is? More like, see how powerful Kristy's mind control is.

Dawn takes down what Buddy brought over - various clothes and food items. Included in there is a silk nightgown, which I'm guessing is something from Victoria's Secret, since Mrs. Barrett is Stoneybrook's resident MILF and all. Dawn asks Buddy if his mother was cool with donating an entire case of powdered baby formula and he says yes, since Marnie grew out of it ages ago (and has moved onto eating Kleenex). Before Dawn can ask anything else, Buddy asks again for a receipt, so Dawn gives it to him and he leaves. Three more kids show up right after Buddy, and one of them is the little smartass from the BSC's assembly, Rob Hines, and Dawn remarks he's been to the barn three times that week. Wow, more foreshadowing!

When she finally closes shop for the day, Dawn looks around at everything in the barn, which is now crammed full with donations. Some of the stuff is the usual things you'd see getting donated to a clothing drive, including old and worn shoes and ancient fashions like a leisure suit. Uh oh, did Tommy Pickles donate his dad's old disco suit again?

However, Dawn also comes across a gorgeous, silky nightgown with what looked like a hand-painted flower pattern, brand new running shoes, and some designer dresses. Ok, if there's all these nice clothes at Dawn's barn, brought in over the past week, why haven't angry parents been storming in, with kids in tow, to claim their clothes that their dumb kids took without asking? Are the parents in Stoneybrook that stupid? Dawn is too busy wondering why some of the donations are so nice. Wouldn't she have some suspicions after reading Claudia's entry in the BSC notebook about the garage sale at the Rodowskys'? Then again, maybe she couldn't make it through, since that was a particularly painful Claudia entry.

She looks next at the food donations, and surprises us by not bitching about the cans of beef stew and tuna ("Why are these MONSTERS donating cans of DEAD ANIMAL CARCASS?!?"). Instead, she finds it very odd that among the nutritious, inexpensive, and long-lasting donations, there's gum and candy bars and tins of cookies and imported chocolates and caviar and a canister of hot cocoa. Well, the gum and caviar's kind of weird (and wouldn't that be perishable too?), and chocolate would melt if it was shipped, depending on when this book takes place. But I don't see anything wrong with cookies. My Girl Scout troop used to volunteer every year at the town food drive, which was held at a local church, and our job was to sort everything by type (corn, peas, cranberry sauce, etc), then split it among the boxes that were going to each family. And we used to get unique donations too - cake mix, frosting, cookies, I vividly remember finding a bag of tortilla chips in one of the collection boxes. It may not be a staple but non-perishable is non-perishable. Right? Dawn also thinks donating hot cocoa is stupid because why would anyone send hot cocoa to people who lived in the desert? People living in warmer climates never drink hot cocoa, Dawn?

Ok, I spoke too soon about Dawn not realizing that kids are cheating with the relief drive. Her eyes travel over to another area of the barn, and she observes suddenly, the nice stuff didn't seem so...nice. Over there is a brand new suit with a receipt from the tailor's in the pocket, with the name HINES on it. So apparently Mr. Hines bought a suit last week, had it tailored, then decided to give it away. Something was very wrong. And after what had happened at the yard sale, I had a feeling I knew exactly what.

Bravo, Dawn. The last horse finally crosses the finish line.

The next morning, Dawn tells Mary Anne her suspicions, and Mary Anne said she was thinking the same thing too. Dawn wants to know why Mary Anne didn't say anything (and I do too - why do these girls never say anything and keep stuff to themselves?), and Mary Anne said she didn't want to assume. Besides, I imagined how happy the pen pals would be when they saw such nice things. Because she's sweet, innocent Mary Anne who could never pass judgement on anyone. Until she brings her passive aggressive side out.

Dawn doesn't know what to do about it. Mary Anne says they should talk to the kids, and while Dawn complains that they can't show up at everyone's houses, Mary Anne says they won't have to, since the ones who keep showing up with unauthorized donations will be back, since they're trying to rack up receipts to count towards a prize.

Conveniently, the Hines family shows up later that morning. They can't be looking for their stuff, because they don't mention anything about it. Mary Anne and Dawn instead take the opportunity to thank the family for their generous donations and point out how nice it was to donate a brand new suit. Immediately the parents remember "Hey! We were looking for our stuff, what's it doing here?" and Mr. Hines asks Rob about it. Rob says he took the suit by mistake. I don't care how young this kid is - even I knew at 7 years old that if I wanted something that belonged to my parents, I asked. Mr. Hines also finds a pair of his shoes that he had been looking for, and Rob says he took them because his dad never wears them. Geez, we got someone competing for Claudia in the "Has the Least Amount of Logic" department.

Mr. and Mrs. Hines apologize for the mix-up, take their things back, and leave some bags of donations in return. And sure enough, like the entire town had been listening in on Mary Anne and Dawn's conversation that morning, a few more families show up to get their things back. Finally!

Mary and Dawn also think up an idea to remedy this situation, so they won't have to deal with any sticky-fingered kids anymore - the children now have to bring a permission slip, which includes a list of what they're donating and signed by a parent when they bring stuff to the barn. Problem solved.

And I'm kind of glad Kristy wasn't here for this part, or else she would have flipped a shit and started panicking that the Hines family would ring every doorbell in Stoneybrook, warning families that the BSC encourages kids to steal.

[revisitingstoneybrook]

#44 Dawn and the Big Sleepover: Chapter 9

The kids get a little overeager when running a garage sale.

Another babysitting chapter, this time with a notebook entry from everyone's favorite semi-literate 8th grader. And wow, this entry is worse than usual. I have to copy it in its entirety:

Yestirday was the yard sail at the Radous Rudowskis. Boy was I glad to read about your carnaval, Jesi. Dont get me rong. Its just maks me feel beter, that I wasnt the only one who had a tough time. Remeber when I was assined to supervize the sale and I said that if Jacky Rudowsky was involvd it was bound to be a disastr? Well the funy thing was, it was'nt even Jacky who mest up.

Ok, everyone's brains still intact after reading that?

And a yard sail? Did she bring the boat she sailed in Island Adventure over and display it in the Rodowskys' yard? I'm not even going to go near 'assined.' It sounds...dirty.

Geez, first we have to suffer through a Claudia BSC Notebook entry, now we have to suffer through a Rodowsky sitting chapter. I actually don't mind Jackie. I just hate reading sitting chapters involving him because it always feels like I'm reading the script of a cartoon. The kid's clumsy, we get it, stop beating us over the head with it!

Dawn says Claudia always wears her most indestructible clothes when she's babysitting for the Rodowskys. I remember that from another book...wasn't it jeans and a button-down white shirt? You'd think she'd pick a different color than white, since stains would show up the worst on white! But, logic isn't one of Claudia's strong suits. Dawn says if Claudia had a suit of armor, she'd wear that when sitting for them. Dammit, Dawn, don't give her any ideas! Now she's going to make a chain mail jumpsuit out of soda can pop-tops.

This chapter starts at the meeting after their school assembly, and Mrs. Rodowsky calls, asking if one of them can supervise the garage sale Shea and Jackie are organizing. Because, you know, she and Mr. Rodowsky can't do it. I guess they have to go to the grocery store or something. Needless to say, none of the girls jump at the chance to help out. It's just like if the Prezziosos called. They finally draw straws to see who the unlucky one will be, and Claudia ends up the victim. You know they rigged that, and Claudia's so dense she didn't notice.

In the days leading up to the garage sale, Claudia helps Jackie and Shea make a flyer (When will people learn - NEVER TRUST CLAUDIA TO MAKE A FLYER BECAUSE SHE KANT SPEL GUD!) and collect donations from other kids. That same week, donations start pouring into the barn and Dawn is surprised to see kids asking for receipts so they can win first prize at the sleepover. Dawn fears the kids are getting too competitive (after ignoring Mary Anne's concerns when she mentioned it earlier), and Claudia notices the same thing at the garage sale.

Right away, as Jackie is showing Claudia the stuff he and Shea got their parents to donate, he knocks a glass bowl into a toaster, which nudges a pile of plates off the table and sends them crashing into the driveway. Claudia sends him off to get a broom and Jackie goes to find one, almost bumping into another table in the process. Because, you know, he's a WALKING DISASTER. I don't think they ever made that clear enough.

They sweep up the broken plates with Jackie managing to not cause anymore destruction, and they open for business. And problems start to arise right away. Mrs. Delaney picks up a lamp which she recognizes as one of her own. Since it's the Delaneys, I'm guessing it's covered with rubies and they bought it for $80,000. And wait...the Delaneys go to Stoneybrook Academy! This is a Stoneybrook Elementary School project. Why are their kids donating stuff too?

Watson the Millionaire shows up and asks Claudia what kind of books are available. Claudia picks up an old book off a pile and stumbles over trying to pronounce Dostoevsky. Of course she would. Watson the Millionaire probably made her read it out loud because he wanted to torture her. And, uh oh, it's HIS book! The whole pile is his! He confronts David Michael, who sheepishly admits to taking them because they're old and Watson the Millionaire never reads them. Then Elizabeth comes over with a box of her picture frames. You see where this is going. David Michael starts to plead his case, but Elizabeth ignores him and says Mrs. Kilbourne found a necklace of her's that Maria donated. Hey - the Kilbournes go to Stoneybrook Day School! Are all the kids involved in stealing stuff from their parents? I mean, the parents are pretty oblivious most of the time, so it must have been easy. Either that or David Michael went on a robbery spree in his neighborhood.

Elizabeth says Mrs. Kuhn found some of her things there, and then Mr. Rodowsky runs past them, wielding a tennis racket and chasing Shea. Turns out it cost him $73, and he just rescued it from someone who tried to buy it. Then they hear Mrs. Addison scolding her daughter Corrie for donating a radio without her permission. The Brewers and Mrs. Rodowsky put two and two together (because Claudia can't), then realize what's going on. Claudia's trying hard not to laugh at it, and I don't see how this is funny. The kids basically stole stuff from their parents, and if no one had caught on, there would be serious trouble.

Anyway, Mr. Rodowsky takes matters into his own hands and addresses the crowd, telling them that most of the things for sale are unauthorized and asking if they can wait a few minutes while they sort everything out. Mrs. Delaney ends up relenting and gives the lamp up for sale, Mrs. Addison and Watson the Millionaire buy their stuff back, and everything ends up OK in the end.

[revisitingstoneybrook]

#44 Dawn and the Big Sleepover: Chapter 8

A wacky, hijink-filled carnival and for once, it's not run by the BSC.

Since this project involves the kids, as usual, we just hit the block of babysitting chapters. And to make matters worse, this is a babysitting job involving two sitters. Which means we have Jessi and Mallory doing the "Having a conversation in the BSC notebook" thing.

So Jessi's whining about how she RUINED the Pike's backyard carnival, while Mallory thinks bringing Goober was a good idea. They go back and forth for a bit, and Mallory lets Jessi "tell" the story about Goober ruining/not ruining the carnival. And no, I'm not talking about this Goober:

Anyway, the Pikes decide for their fundraiser they're going to have a patented Stoneybrook Backyard Carnival! Only this one isn't being arranged by the BSC, which probably explains why it's quasi-successful (yet boring).

It's run by the Pikes, but Jessi and Mallory get wrangled into helping anyway. Those junior officers just can't catch a break, can they?

The triplets set up a free throw contest they charge a quarter for, and Dawn makes a stupid joke about how it isn't really a free throw since they're charging money for it. Jessi and her cousin Keisha who's visiting from New Jersey are taking Polaroids of people posing in the Pikes' garden and charging them money for it. When you can just bring you own camera and do it for free!

What else...the Arnold twins are running the ringtoss, Linny Papadakis is performing a magic show (he doesn't go to SES, what's he doing there?), Nicky and Jordan are going around with a grab bag (a duffel bag filled with comic books and other small toys), Vanessa and Claire are doing a fishing game with a kiddie pool and Claire's rubber ducks (named after the ducklings in Make Way for Ducklings). Damn, these are some weak carnival attractions so far.

Oh wait, THIS is the dumbest carnival attraction. David Michael Thomas made plastic name tags and messages for people, using one of those little rotating things that look like mini versions of the Starship Enterprise. He's charging money to make a label using a FUCKING LABEL MAKER?!

To quote a very hilarious snark from the LJ group, "You guys, it's official. Stoneybrook SUCKS." He needs to pull a Bart Simpson and make a label that says "THIS CARNIVAL SUCKS" and stick it on the entrance.

And as Mallory's helping Vanessa blow up the kiddie pool, she gets hit with the basketball from the free throw contest. Which is representative of how life is always throwing basketballs at Mallory. She threatens to shut the triplets down if they don't control the ball better, and Jordan yells at her, "You can't say that, you don't even have a penpal!" I'm as confused as Mallory is. And Claudia, even though she isn't there. She's always confused anyway.

After Jessi takes a crappy photo of Mallory, Mallory asks her when Boober's coming. Claire overhears and thinks Boober the Fraggle's coming to save the horror that is this carnival.

Jessi kills Claire's hopes of meeting a Fraggle by correcting Mallory and telling her GOOBER is coming. HOW ABOUT TELLING US WHO OR WHAT GOOBER IS, LADIES?! Oh, thank you Dawn. Goober is Peter Mansfield, and he's cousins with Jessi's friend Grace from dance class. He lives in the neighboring town of Mercer and he does a dinosaur show at kids' parties that's all the rage there, so Jessi got him to perform at their carnival.

And geez, Lerangis, how about mixing up the BSC cliches, because Dawn says Mallory "liked Goober right away." Just like Dawn liked the SES principal right away in the last chapter. Everyone take a shot! Dawn says he looked like a Goober. He looked like a jar of peanut butter and jelly?

Mallory, in an act of revenge, lets him set up in the driveway, shutting down the triplets' free throw contest. But Goober relents and moves aside so they can still play basketball. He probably wants Mallory to get hit again. Because everyone hates Mallory.

Crowds show up, because everyone in Stoneybrook has nothing better to do, and at noon, Goober starts his show. And since you can't have a BSC book without a Wizard of Oz reference, he does his impression of the Cowardly Lion, to the delight of the kids. Everyone take another shot! Goober continues his show, teaching kids about dinosaurs and singing about them, including a rap song about a stegosaurus. And even when I first did this snark years ago, it made me think of this thing I saw on Nickelodeon back in the dark ages.

During Goober's second show, beams of light came shining down from the clouds as the singing of an angelic choir filled the air and all the flowers magically bloomed. Yes, the Perkinses arrived to bestow their perfection upon the Pikes carnival, accompanied by their dog Chewy. For those who don't know, Ann Martin based the Perkins family on her real life best friend (who Kristy is also based on) and her three daughters, which explains why they were always written as perfect.

I guess Chewy thought Goober wasn't a good act, because after Goober made a joke about dogs surviving past the dinosaurs, Chewy turned tail and ran. Geez, everyone's a critic. And if it's the Perkins' dog showing his dissatisfaction, you might as well pack up and head back to Mercer, Goober.

The Perkins girls run after Chewy, but even their angelic perfection can't stop him. As Chewy runs past Jamie Newton, he screams bloody murder and wets his pants right there on the spot. Jamie ends up running away, knocking over the Arnolds' ring toss and Mrs. Newton, remembering she has a child, runs after Jamie.

THEY'RE ON A COLLISION COURSE WITH WACKINESS!

Chewy runs into Linny's magic show, tearing down the curtain, and finally the Perkinses get a hold of him and take him back home. And I guess Mrs. Newton got lost in the Pikes' backyard, because Jessi tends to an hysterical Jamie.

Things calm down, the attractions get fixed, and Goober continues his show without incident. And somehow, the crowd doubles after all the chaos. So I guess the Perkins girls saved the carnival, in a way?

[revisitingstoneybrook]

#44 Dawn and the Big Sleepover: Chapter 7

The BSC are SO amazing, they can blow off school to speak to their adoring fans! And Mallory gets humiliated but what else is new.

Dawn's sitting in homeroom, while her teacher Mr. Blake (one of the 1,289 members of the Stoneybrook Middle School staff) takes attendance. She won't be there for long, because she has to go to SES and introduce her relief drive at an assembly! Because, you know, Ms. Besser or any of the other teachers can't do it. The whole freakin town is under the BSC's spell, because Ms. Besser got the SES principal to arrange the assembly and the BSC gets to blow off class for a bit so they can be there. And their teachers aren't making a stink about it! Wow, Kristy's mind control powers are really paying off.

And Dawn's nervous about speaking to a bunch of kids, the majority of which she knows well and babysits for. The ones who don't use the BSC, well Kristy will take care of that. Soon, all of Stoneybrook will be under her control! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh wait, yeah. Dawn's nervous about speaking in front of a group of kids. But I thought she was oh-so sure of herself because she's such a headstrong individual! I think Peter Lerangis got her personality mixed up with Mary Anne's.

Dawn's so lost in her thoughts, she doesn't realize Mr. Blake called her name, so Mary Anne nudges her and Ray Stuckey (Dawn says he's the class clown...what, was Alan Gray absent?) says, "Earth to Dawn! Earth to Dawn!" A real John Mulaney, that one. Mr. Blake goes back to taking the attendance until the principal, Mr. Taylor, interrupts with an announcement over the loudspeaker. He says that the Seven Chosen Ones will be dismissed at five minutes to ten. Ray Stuckey asks Dawn if he joins the BSC will he get to miss school too and then fades into BSC Obscurity, joining the Trip-Man and Sabrina Bouvier the Younger.

The time arrives, and the girls leave class to go, Mr. Blake wishing Dawn luck. And of course, that makes her task feel more important, making her more nervous and simultaneously inflating her ego to Kristy-size proportions. The school's secretary, Mrs. Downey, is volunteering to drive them to SES, so they climb into her station wagon. Mallory and Jessi end up in the back (not the backseat, the back), which is also metaphorical of how the BSC treats the junior officers in general. Sticking them in the trunk.

Also, going by the map of Stoneybrook in the Complete Guide, I'm pretty sure the elementary school and middle school are across the street from each other. If so, that's a pretty short car ride!

They get to SES, and Ms. Besser greets them, adding that Dawn looks like Jeff. They go inside, and Ms. Besser says she's sooo glad the BSC swooped in and came up with this wonderful, benevolent project. The BSC saves the day again! I still find it kind of weird that the school hadn't come up with a fundraiser, and they find the BSC to be geniuses for thinking it up instead. Dawn remarks that the elementary school cafeteria smells like boiled broccoli. Mine always smelled like paper towels and processed cheese pizza (Stacey wouldn't have been able to eat it).

The girls meet Ms. Reynolds, the SES principal, and Dawn describes her: She had red hair and a strong, kind face. I liked her right away. Geez, they always like the people they meet right away! If this was Mallory narrating, you know she would have thrown in that she wanted to be just like Ms. Reynolds when she grows up!

Ms. Reynolds tells Dawn this is a very smart idea - because why should the teachers organize a food/clothing drive, when the BSC can do all the work for them? Dawn is still crazy nervous and Mary Anne squeezes her hand for good luck.

The BSC walks onstage with the two teachers and sit down in some chairs arranged in a semicircle. Ms. Reynolds tells the kids that the girls are familiar to some of you. More like most of them; the BSC are like surrogate parents to the kids, considering how much the Stoneybrook parents dump them off on a babysitter! Dawn is brought up to the microphone to talk and while she mentally angsts about how crappy her voice sounds amplified, Haley Braddock happily calls out "Hi Dawn!" Kiss ass.

Dawn goes through the group to introduce them all, which is kind of pointless, considering the BSC spends all their free time with these kids, babysitting them and organizing carnivals/plays/festivals/pet shows/interpretive dance recitals/taffy pulls for them. Needless to say, the kids' response to each BSC member getting introduced is like Oprah showed up and announced she was doing her Favorite Things episode.

Dawn delves into explaining her project and midway through, she hears a kid yawn loudly in the audience and sees kids laughing as the perpetrator is pulled out of the auditorium by his teacher. Someone bored by a BSC project? BLASPHEMY!

She decides to wing it and look up from her notes, and that ends up working, because she's more convincing and passionate. By this point, she sees kids in the audience following her and nodding in agreement, so her confidence has been restored and she's happy they're interested. Well, it's that, or Kristy turned the mind control device on.

She gets to the part about there being a reward at the end, and the kids go nuts when they hear about the sleepover. Dawn asks if there's any questions, and Little Miss Butt Kisser Haley shoots her hand up right away and gushes about what a wonderful idea it is! Yes, keep feeding the egos. She also asks if they can tell their penpals about the project. Don't even think about it! It's going to be a surprise! Say one word, and the entire school gets a Look from Kristy. You got that?

A few more kids ask questions, including a girl named Valerie Namm, who Dawn describes as a friend of Charlotte's. A friend of Charlotte's who we've never heard from before and will probably never hear from again. That's what I call an incredibly peripheral character!

Then a kid named Rob Hines asks if he can blow off the "helping-people" crap and just go to the party, and his friends laugh. Wow, a kid acting like a kid! Dawn tells him no work, no play. And why mention this kid NOW? I think some foreshadowing just came into effect...

Finally, Jordan raises his hand and says "Hey, Mal, what's that thing crawling up the wall behind you?" Mallory spins around in horror, Jordan and his friends crack up, and Mallory gets humiliated in front of a large group of elementary school children. Just another day in Stoneybrook for Mallory!

With that, Ms. Besser steps in and says she'll answer any remaining questions (yeah, I'm shocked too). The BSC leaves the stage to more thunderous applause and cheering, and this boring chapter comes to a close.

[revisitingstoneybrook]

#44 Dawn and the Big Sleepover: Chapter 6

Charlotte saves the day!

Notebook entry from Stacey. Despite talking about such a serious matter as their plan to help the Zuni kids, Stacey still manages to dot her i's with little hearts. It just looks off-putting when talking about something so serious.

Anyway, Stacey says Charlotte's addicted to this book series called Freddy the Pig. Never heard of it. We've all heard the story about how Charlotte used to hate school and be miserable, and now she's happier because she skipped a grade ad infinitum. Only thing of importance here is they decided to keep the project idea a secret from their charges, so they could spring it on everyone when they get the right chance. Um, ok.

So after Charlotte shows Stacey some tricks she taught her schnauzer Carrot, they go into the kitchen to have some pretzels. When they get in there, Stacey notices a stack of letters from Charlotte's penpal, Theresa. Charlotte informs her that Theresa's house was one of the ones that caught fire and gives Stacey the letter to read where she describes what happened. The letter is really upsetting, Theresa says her aunt was a teacher at the school and is now unemployed, the only clothes she has are the ones that were in the washing machine during the fire, her TV and VCR were destroyed. Her family is now living with her aunt and uncle, and she says her mom cries a lot and she misses school.

Needless to say, Stacey's heartbroken after reading it, Charlotte is too because Stacey read it out loud...thanks for opening up old wounds, Stacey! Charlotte then immediately freaks out, wondering what would happen if her house burned down. That's the Charlotte we're familiar with. Good lord, she's made of fear. Stacey tells her not to worry about that, and Charlotte keeps panicking, asking if her family could move in with Stacey, because she has no family in the area and wouldn't want to move away. Stacey reassures her everything will be alright, then decides to blow the BSC's secret, to see if that will calm her down. Thankfully, Stacey doesn't get 50 lashes for revealing it, because they all agree she did the right thing.

Charlotte thinks the idea is great and is really excited about it, especially the sleepover. She agrees not to tell anyone, and asks if they're going to have a big school assembly to tell everyone about it. So an 8-year-old can come up with that idea, but seven 11 and 13-year-olds can't? Nice. Stacey says they can tell Dawn right away and instead of calling her like a normal person would, they ride their bikes up to Dawn's house. If I remember correctly from the Complete Guide map (which I don't have anymore), Charlotte lives pretty far away from Dawn's. I'm pretty sure the Johanssens have a phone, which would have made things a lot easier, Stacey! What if she wasn't home, you guys rode up there for nothing!

Thankfully, Dawn and Mary Anne are home, and Dawn says Charlotte's really excited to tell her about her assembly idea. Dawn says she's a totally different person than when she ran off the stage in tears during the Little Miss Stoneybrook pageant (you'd think this was a Nola Thacker book, with all the references to past BSC books).

Also, quick plug, I've done the Little Miss Stoneybrook book on here already. Take a gander at my tags list!

Dawn says it's a great idea, but Mary Anne points out that they wouldn't be able to give one during school, as they all have school too. Nothing wrong with that, they can just get permission to be out of school for a little bit! How about having one of the teachers explain it to the kids, instead of you guys blowing off school? Because convincing your teachers you had to skip class to go talk to elementary school kids about a project not related to school? Good luck with that. But since this is Stoneybrook, of course they get to go.

And Charlotte saves the day again! They should just make her an honorary BSC member at this point.

[revisitingstoneybrook]

#44 Dawn and the Big Sleepover: Chapter 5

It's OMGEMERGENCYMEETING time! Will Kristy steal credit for Dawn's Great Idea?

At the OMGEMERGENCYMEETING, Dawn's fears are put to rest, as Kristy does the unthinkable and lets Dawn explain the project. When Dawn's finished, Mallory says she votes yes to go along with it, and Claudia chimes in too. But Miss Napoleon Complex quiets them down and says they must make a motion to put the project to a vote. 

The BSC uses Robert's Rules? You're a babysitting club, not a deliberative assembly! Shut up, Kristy. You too, Mallory, for even bringing up the topic of voting in the first place. I'm surprised Kristy isn't making sure they have a quorum (they do, btw).

Claudia complains that Kristy's being a domineering bitch (well, not in that language, or else Kristy would chop off her side ponytail), but Kristy ignores her and demands she be specific about what she's motioning to put to vote. Sure thing, Your Highness! Claudia motions for them to vote about whether they should help out Dawn, and Mary Anne seconds, because she's Kristy's little yes-girl. Kristy asks who's in favor and obviously, everyone's hand shoots up. It's unanimous! Don't ask Claudia to spell "unanimous."

Dawn says she'll tell Ms. Besser the good news, and Mallory will enlist the Pike Army to tell their teachers and friends. But that isn't enough for Kristy! I don't know...the Pike Army is awfully big! Dawn suggests making a flyer, and Claudia immediately volunteers herself for the job, grabbing a pad of paper to sketch it out. And no one stops her. Haven't these girls learned anything about NOT LETTING CLAUDIA DO ANYTHING INVOLVING WRITING?! They're going to end up with this: "The BSC is haveing a projekt project prajekkct to help the Zooni Kids in New Meksico. We're coleckting foode, clothing, and money! Please help by donateing! Thank yoo!"

They decide they'll do a door-to-door collection of non-perishable food and clean clothing. And Dawn volunteers her barn as a drop-off location for everything. Damn, that barn gets so much use, thanks to the BSC! Though...wouldn't the logical thing be to drop off the donations at the school? It would probably be more convenient for the kids. Whenever my school did a food or toy drive growing up, we'd bring the stuff to school with us. The BSC, of course, doesn't think about this. They're the ones in charge dammit, not the teachers! Claudia pencils the barn into the flyer, though knowing her, she probably wrote "Bring the donayshuns donnait donayysh stuf to Dawn's barnn."

Then Mallory gets a Great Idea. Damn Kristy, you're losing your touch! Mallory thinks they should give prizes or awards out, to get the kids really excited about the project. Mary Anne adds that they should have a big party for everyone who participates, because it's wrong to instill a sense of competition in children, Mallory. Mallory agrees and suggests something like a school picnic. Only the BSC is running it, the school is just following orders, Mallory. Kristy says she heard of a school that let the kids and teaches switch spots for a day. She would. And how would that work, there's a bigger number of students than teachers, so some would get left out, Kristy!

Since everyone's having Great Ideas besides Kristy, Dawn comes up with another. They could have a big sleepover! *DING DING DING* We have a book title! Dawn says they could use the gym (what, is the barn unavailable that night?) and maybe some of the school staff could participate. Because all seven of you could handle a bazillion kids since you're such wonderful babysitters. Try thinking of the legalities there, since you guys are children yourselves.

Claudia smiles at how cute it would be seeing all the little kids in their pajamas (ew?), and Dawn starts to formulate the plan: they can serve pizza for dinner, and maybe get a place to donate pies, serve pancakes in the morning, play games and give out awards. Everyone likes the idea of it, and totally forgetting the shitfit she threw about Claudia not following parliamentary procudure, Kristy asks who's in favor of doing a sleepover. Nice. Everyone raises their hands, and because she's a dweeb, Mallory raises both hands.

Kristy then throws everyone a curveball when she realizes that fliers aren't the best way to go, as they can't guarantee the kids will bring them home to their parents, and some of the kids can barely read, just like Claudia. And what about the rest of Stoneybrook? And the fundraiser? hey end up concluding that they'll leave fundraising ideas to the kids. I'm guessing Peter Lerangis got lazy and couldn't think of something big for everyone to do.

So Jessi and Stacey show up on time on penalty of death and they forget about the problems they encountered. No more Good Ideas? It's time for a certain gifted charge to save the day. And no, thankfully it's not Karen.

[revisitingstoneybrook]

#44 Dawn and the Big Sleepover: Chapter 4

Richard Spier is a Debbie Downer and Dawn is worried that a certain someone will take credit for her great idea.

Dawn and Mary Anne come home from the BSC meeting, Dawn crying on the inside for the Zuni kids. Even the Mexican food Richard picked up on his way home from work can't cheer her up! Geez Dawn, he even remembered to get vegetarian!

The girls are quiet throughout dinner and Dawn says she's thinking of the Zuni kids and thinks Mary Anne is wondering why she's so quiet. Um, you were both at the same meeting, I'm sure she knows why! Sharon and Richard try to make conversation and while seasoning her pico de gallo with her secret stash of "oregano," Sharon asks Dawn why she looks sad and asks if something happened at school. So Dawn tells her about Pens Across America and Rachel Redriver and Sha'la'ko and describes the BSC's meeting where Mallory gave them the horrible news.

Sharon and Richard agree that it's an awful tragedy, and Richard adds, Maybe they didn't have a good sprinkler system. Geez, insensitive, much? Another reason why the girls never go to their parents for help/advice.

Dawn gushes about how the penpals are such great kids, and they don't have much money. She feels so strongly and knows so much about these kids after hearing a few letters that they sent the Pikes? The BSC Superhero gene is coming out full-force.

Mary Anne says she feels bad for the Pikes, who feel like something happened to their best friends. Sharon reassures them both that everything will be ok, what matters most is no one was hurt. And Richard, making up for his stupid comment before, suggests Dawn tell the Pikes to write supportive, encouraging letters to their penpals. Dawn realizes that a Stoneybrook parent actually said something worthwhile, so she calls up Mallory after dinner to see what she thinks.

Before Dawn can bring up what Richard said, Mallory asks Dawn what she thinks about the stuff the kids were going to send - the pennant and photos and all that. Dawn says they should send it, because it would cheer the kids up. Then it's Mallory's turn to be the Debbie Downer and says she wouldn't know how to feel if her house burnt down and she got a pennant in the mail. Dawn realizes, no matter how much she doesn't want to admit it, Mallory's right. Sending cutesy little things after their penpals went through something so traumatic would seem like they weren't taking it seriously. Especially if Margo really did end up puking in a jar and mailing that.

I love how Mallory is often the voice of reason to the 13-year-olds. Jessi too.

While Dawn thinks of how to respond to that, Mallory says she has to put Claire to bed, being that she's the Pike's live-in nanny. They say bye and hang up. Way to go, Dawn! But Dawn won't let something like upsetting Mallory stop her, it hasn't in the past anyway.

One thing kept sticking in my mind: Compared to the Zunis, we were probably rich. Surely there had to be something the people in Stoneybrook could do. Something we could give them. But what? And how? Being that this is a BSC book, it's required that any activity needs to drag the entire town into it. Right away, she concludes that the things the families need most are food, clothes, and money. I smell a BSC project...

She goes into Mary Anne's room to run the idea past her, and finds her stepsister reading Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume. Mary Anne's deeply engrossed in the book, so to get her attention, Dawn starts to blow the ending for her. "Hey! Snape kills-" That gets her attention and Mary Anne yells at her. And rightfully so! WTF Dawn?

Dawn tells Mary Anne her Great Idea (don't tell Kristy! Oh wait, you're probably going to have to) - they could organize a food and clothing drive, then have a fundraiser to raise money! Mary Anne, thinking the same as me, says it's a big project and they'd have to get some teachers involved. Unless they're as inept and clueless as the Stoneybrook parents are, then the BSC's flying solo for this one.

Dawn welcomes Mary Anne's advice, but I guess she takes it as an insult because she felt like a big balloon with its air being squeezed out and it takes a while for her to fall asleep. How dare Mary Anne be a realist and not find her idea marvelous and spectacular?

The next day, Dawn decides to get a teacher on board with her plan. However, as we all know, she doesn't know any teachers from the elementary school because she didn't go there. But wait! She knows of a teacher! Ms. Besser, Jeff's old teacher that he hated and he skipped through the house singing "Yay no more Ms. Besser!" when he found out he was moving back to California. And Dawn wants to get in touch with her? Awkward.

And what's more awkward? Dawn wants to get in touch with her right away...on a Saturday. So, being a total creeper, she goes through the phone book and dials the only Besser listed. Let me repeat that: She calls a teacher she barely knows up at home! What the hell, Dawn? She says she feels scared, but adds that if she were a teacher and a kid called her, she wouldn't be weirded out at all. Adults can be funny about things like that. Uh, yeah! Because it's creepy!

There's only one Besser in the phone book, so Dawn dials and a guy answers. She asks for Ms. Besser and the guy calls for his wife, saying it's one of her kids. And Dawn gets offended because he thinks she's 10 years old. Yeah, three years younger than you. And you called a teacher at home, you surrendered your right to get offended, Dawn!

Paranoid that the woman will hang up on her when she learns she's Jeff's sister, she goes ahead anyway and introduces herself as Jeff Schafer's sister. Ms. Besser doesn't flip out, but I'm sure she's thinking "Oh great, the little shit who was always acting out and getting into fights? Why does his sister want to talk to me?" She recognizes Dawn because Sharon mentioned her during conferences. And Dawn gets weirded out, wondering what her mom said about her. They discussed how self-righteous and obnoxious you are, I'm assuming.

After a brief interlude where they talk about how things are much better for Jeff in California, Dawn cuts to the chase and finds out Ms. Besser's class is indeed participating in Pens Across America.

Dawn tells her she's here to save the day, because she has some wonderful ideas on how to help the kids! She then eagerly explains what she thought of. Ms. Besser, probably humoring her, says it sounds interesting and she'll bring it up with the other teachers on Monday. But Dawn needs to know OMGNOW what the teachers will think about it, because no one leaves a BSC member waiting on something! Ms. Besser responds they'll probably go for it, because they wouldn't want their students to let down kids who have become their friends (at least they have a reason for wanting to help their penpals). She gets Dawn's number so she can call her back, and that's that.

Dawn's thrilled, then realizes she should probably contact Kristy, as this would make a perfect project for the BSC. *DING DING DING* We have a BSC Project, everyone!

So she calls Kristy up and, of course, Kristy takes charge right away, ordering an OMGEMERGENCYMEETING as soon as Ms. Besser calls Dawn back, and making a list of things they need to figure out as far as the plan goes. She asks Dawn to keep her posted on everything.

And because these girls are petty little twits despite being ~best friends~, Dawn worries Kristy will take all the credit. Because Kristy is the only one in the BSC allowed to have Great Ideas. You're doing this to help out kids in New Mexico, not turn this into a debate about who gets the credit for thinking about it. Grow up.

Thankfully, Dawn reassures herself to stop being stupid. By Monday, one of the assistant principals at the middle school finds Dawn and relays a message from Ms. Besser - her idea was met with approval from all the teachers involved in the program. Either that, or Kristy set the BSC Mind Control Ray over the elementary school. Dawn goes to tell Kristy the good news, and the OMGEMERGENCYMEETING is set for 5:00, a half hour before the actual meeting. Only Stacey and Jessi have sitting jobs, so they're not going to be there until 5:30. Geez ladies, BSC projects supercede EVERYTHING, even sitting jobs! Get with the program!

[revisitingstoneybrook]

#44 Dawn and the Big Sleepover: Chapter 3

We're hit with another one of Claudia's worst lewks and tragedy strikes. It's the BSC to the rescue!

Dawn is dying to tell us what happened at Friday's BSC meeting! But we have to wait, because she's obligated under penalty of death to describe what the BSC does and how it works. Which means, I get to skip past a few pages, because it's all old stuff we've heard before!

So Claudia greets Mary Anne and Dawn in another fashion disaster. Claudia greeted us at the door to her room with her hair in a ponytail on top of her head, held up by a huge barrette in the shape of a bone, like Pebbles in The Flintstones. It made her hair bounce when she moved. She was even wearing a Pebbles-type outfit - a pink, off-the-shoulder blouse with huge polka dots and a ragged bottom over black tights. On anyone else it would have looked dumb or babyish, but on Claudia it looked cool. No it didn't! That's not cool, that's a Halloween costume!

They go inside and Dawn notices some closed textbooks on Claudia's bed, along with a big pad of paper where she had been sketching. That's our Claudia! She pulls some dark chocolate caramel out from under her pillow for her and Mary Anne and a big bag of pretzels from under her bed for Dawn. She always hides stuff under her pillow...wouldn't that make it really uncomfortable when sleeping? Then again, this is Claudia and logic isn't her strong suit.

Everyone starts giggling when Claudia talks with her mouth full and Claudia starts snorting from laughing too hard. Kristy walks in, cursing because she wasn't the first to arrive, shakes her head at the immaturity, and takes her place on her throne (Claudia's director's chair). By 5:29, Stacey and Jessi get there, and Kristy's eyes glue themselves to the clock. The clock switches to 5:30 and she calls the meeting to order. But wait! Mallory's not there! Uh oh!

Mary Anne checks the record book and sees she has nothing scheduled, not even an orthodontist appointment! Kristy's all butthurt that Mallory would have the nerve to show up a minute late, and *SIGHS* before asking Stacey how much money is in the treasury so they can add something new to their Kid-Kits. I knew it....mind control devices! They're going to implant them in all the kids so Kristy can have them all under her power once and for all!

Before Kristy can delve into her plans for taking over the world, Mallory shows up, looking very upset. So upset that Kristy doesn't even give her a Look! Mary Anne asks if she's ok and Mallory says she's fine, but tells them the bad news: there was a big fire on the Zuni reservation in New Mexico and it destroyed the school, plus a few homes. No one was hurt, but Mallory's siblings were still really shaken up over it, which is why she was late. As the eldest daughter/live-in nanny, she had to calm them down.

The girls are all upset over the news, Dawn in particular, who feels like the Zuni kids are her friends too from the letters the Pike kids read. Since this is the BSC, Dawn decides she MUST do something to help out. She has to! Mallory asks what, and Dawn says she's determined to find the answer. It's up to the BSC to save Stoneybrook again! Only this time...they're saving America too! Somewhat.

[revisitingstoneybrook]

#44 Dawn and the Big Sleepover: Chapter 2

A typical Chapter 2 with one of the worst Claudia outfits ever and that's saying something.

The Pike Army gets down to business writing letters and have decided what they'll send. Adam's sending the pennant after all, Nicky's sending the decals (stickers!), Byron's going to take pictures of the family, Vanessa's going to write a poem, and Jordan's going to tape record himself playing piano. Margo still doesn't know...well, since those last two are following their one personality trait, why doesn't Margo just puke in a jar and mail it?

As Dawn walks home, she can't stop thinking about how fascinating the Zuni are and is pretty jealous of the kids. She whines a bit about how she wishes the middle school did it too and goes into the house, pouting. Mary Anne takes one look at Dawn and thinks the Pikes tortured her. And look at how one-note Margo is - one of Mary Anne's guesses as to what happened was Margo got sick!

Sharon and Richard are in the kitchen together cooking a casserole and Dawn breathes a sigh of relief when she sees Richard's the one doing most of the work. She says Sharon's cooking is "eat at your own risk." She's definitely added dish soap while cooking before. While they finish cooking, Dawn complains about how she wants a pen pal on the Zuni reservation too. Mary Anne quotes her dad and says "Youth is wasted on the young" (you're, at most, six years older than these kids) and suggests Dawn write to the elementary school to get a pen pal of her own in the middle school.

Dawn praises Mary Anne for such a wonderful idea. It's the most logical one, Dawn. What's with these girls calling any idea someone thinks of brilliant? At this point, I'm skipping past the story of how Dawn and Mary Anne became sisters, because we've all heard it more times than necessary. The only thing of note is this is one of the books that takes place during Logan and Mary Anne's brief estrangement. The way Dawn describes him is hilarious: ...she's the only one of us BSC members who has ever had a steady boyfriend. His name was (is - Mary Anne broke up with him but he's still alive) Logan Bruno.

"He's still alive." Though I wouldn't put it past the BSC to kidnap him, throw him in the back of the Junk Bucket, and have Charlie drive him out to the desert, where he "mysteriously disappears." You don't mess with a BSC member on Kristy's watch!

You probably want to know about the other club members. No thanks, I'll pass, Dawn. Well, the BSC made me feel totally welcome. Everyone was open and friendly, which was great, because nothing turns me off more than cliques where everyone dresses and sounds alike. Please. The BSC is definitely a clique and in some books, they're downright cult-like.

Skimming time! Let's see if we find anything interesting.

Dawn lets her blunt side show and says Kristy is bossy, instead of the "She kinda sorta has a big mouth!" thing we see other times. And she describes Kristy's family story as a fairy tale called The Saga of Kristy. She laughs at the thought of Watson the Millionaire sweeping Elizabeth off her feet because he's balding and quiet and likes gardening. I think the garden is his refuge away from Karen - notice how he's out there all the time? Or, really, avoiding Karen at all costs whenever she's at the Big House? No wonder she's always acting out.

Oh here we go - a Claudia outfit description! And it's one of the worst Claudia outfits in the whole series. For instance, she walked into school today wearing a bright yellow oversize men's jacket with rolled-up sleeves; a wide paisley tie right out of the nineteen-sixties; orange stirrup pants; ankle boots; and huge hoop earrings - and you know what? On her, it looked totally cool. Um, no it doesn't! Also a bright yellow men's jacket, orange stirrup pants and a tie makes it sound like she was cosplaying as Big Bird.

Which is appropriate since Claudia probably says the alphabet the same way Big Bird does.

No outfit descriptions from Stacey, but Dawn bastardizes New York City with some stereotypes. Apparently having a map of NYC and an alternate side parking calendar on your wall makes you a true New Yorker. And no (ew, ick!) when talking about Stacey's diabeetus either.

Mallory already got her description in the previous chapter, but Jessi's is here. Did you know she's *gasp* the BSC's only black member? Because she is. Poor junior officers, they get like no description except for their one personality trait. Jessi and even Mallory deserve better than that!

The chapter ends with the Schafer-Spiers having dinner. I don't know if I'd trust Sharon filling a water pitcher, Dawn - she might fill it with vinegar instead.

[revisitingstoneybrook]

#44 Dawn and the Big Sleepover: Chapter 1

We start off this book with another plot device!

Chapter 1 starts with a babysitting job. Dawn and Mallory are babysitting the rest of the Pike Army, who are jumping around, asking to read some letters out loud. And it sounds like Dawn is taking a little dig at Mallory here:

Have you ever babysat for a family of eight kids? Well, welcome to the Pikes' house. Fortunately, sitting for them usually involves two of us members of the Babysitters Club. Unfortunately, eight kids is a lot, even for us.

So Mallory's back to being considered a babysitting charge? Geez, everyone truly does hate Mallory.

Right on page 2, Dawn starts in on describing herself. I think Peter Lerangis (the ghostwriter) didn't care much for the blatant California stereotype that Dawn was, because he has her clarify it: I used to live in California, and if you met me, you might say "It figures." I have long blonde hair and blue eyes, and I'm into health foods and sunshine (not that every California girl is like that, but that's what a lot of people think). Throwing a wrench into Ann M. Martin's grand scheme, you rebel, you!

Sign #1 you can tell this is a Lerangis book - Dawn introduces a new phrase to the reader, and says she read it in a book and thought it was funny. This time, she says she and Mallory were on the "horns of a dilemma." They're facing a crisis because all the kids want to read their letters from their pen pals. And there's our plot device!

The kids (or, at least the ones in 2-5th grade...sorry Claire) are involved in Pens Across America, and writing letters to kids from Stoneybrook Elementary School's sister school. Because this is a BSC book, Dawn takes offense at the term "sister school" and says it should be called "sibling schools" because all the kids participate. She does realize it's the schools being referred to as feminine, not the students, right? Lord help her when she learns a language with masculine and feminine nouns.

Anyway, the kids are writing letters to Native American kids from the Pueblo of Zuni in New Mexico.

The kids are all excited about getting letters from their pen pals, and Dawn says Vanessa's so happy, you'd think Rachel was a long-lost sister or something (as if Vanessa didn't have enough sisters). Ouch. Dawn is getting a lot of digs in at the Pike family today!

The Pike Army all crowds around to look at Rachel's picture, and Adam expresses disappointment that his penpal doesn't look like an "Indian," like he expected. The other triplets tease him, saying he wants to see headdresses and warpaint. One of the triplets does the extremely offensive "war cry" to tease him too. This book came out in 1991, by the way, so I assume none of this would fly now.

Thankfully, Mallory steps in and tells Adam that his pen pal is Native American. Indians are from India. You should know that by now, especially after three letters.

Adam complains a bit more - he was expecting his penpal to have a more Native American-sounding name, and he says Conrad White doesn't sound like one. He's 10 years old, Mallory gets all this at 11, but he doesn't and he's a year younger? Geez, 10-year-olds in Stoneybrook really are that immature!

Nicky and Margo suggest it could be short for White Horse or White Smoke Signals, but Dawn thankfully cuts all three of them off and says A lot of the pen pals have English-sounding names. It doesn't mean they're not Native Americans. Again, this is a little jarring to see now, 33 years later.

Vanessa whines that she wants to read her letter, so Dawn tells her to. Rachel, her penpal, thinks it must be fun to have triplets in the house. Left out from this scene is Mallory bashing her head against the wall. She keeps reading, and Rachel teaches us a little bit about pueblos and what adobe means. She signs her full name, Rachel Redriver, making Adam feel even more cheated out of a real Native American as a penpal.

Jordan's next, and Dawn says he stumbles over the big words in his letter. Uh...the only "big" word in this is Sha'la'ko. Is his reading level hovering in Claudia Kishi territory? Anyway, Jordan's pen pal describes what the festival Sha'la'ko is. I worked in a library at the time I originally wrote this and I remember flipping through a book about the Zuni and Peter Lerangis did describe Sha'la'ko properly. Ann thanked someone in the preface for their help in researching Zuni culture.

Also completely dating this book, Jordan's penpal asks if they have Nintendo and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie in Stoneybrook. This book did come out in 1991 after all!

Jordan gets to the end of the letter and starts laughing. Vanessa snatches the letter away and reads out the final sentence, which is "My teacher smells like a cow!" in Pig Latin. Ew but totally a 10-year-old boy thing to write.

I think Lerangis fell asleep when he was writing this part, because then Claire calls Adam a silly-billy-goo-goo for some reason. He didn't do anything! Then Adam asks Jordan, "Did you teach Sam that?" and Dawn tells us Sam is Adam's penpal! We just went over this! Adam's penpal is Conrad White, the Zuni kid with a not Zuni-ish enough name for Adam!

Jordan reassures his brothers he made Sam promise not to tell anyone and Byron nods seriously because he's totes sensitive. Do they seriously think Pig Latin is some secret language? For one thing, Mallory taught it to the Arnold twins in an earlier book, so they should get on her case about that. They probably did because everyone hates Mallory.

Mallory quiets everyone down by suggesting they think of stuff to send their penpals, since they sent them school pictures. Dawn says Mallory's very practical and smart and cool under pressure and I agree with her. While the rest of the BSC is in freakout mode over stupid shit, she and Jessi can be the voices of reason sometimes. But Dawn says the problem is Mallory's parents are sooooo mean, because they won't let her wear wild clothes! How wild does Mallory expect to dress? Like Claudia level? Because I always thought Mallory's greatest desire was to wear sparkly sweatshirts and her parents reject those. Her parents did let her get her ears pierced, my parents wouldn't let me do that at 11.

Adam runs off because he gets a Great Idea (don't tell Kristy, she'll claim it as her own!) and returns with a Stoneybrook pennant. The other triplets joke they'll send it too. Dumb. Dawn calls them out on being uncreative so they go back to thinking. Byron comes up with bumper stickers, and Margo suggests decals. What 7-year-old knows the word 'decals'? Why didn't she just say 'stickers'? And how is that a better idea than a pennant...it's just another thing with Stoneybrook printed on it!

Mallory says none of those things are as special as their school pictures, but Nicky points out they don't have their school pictures yet. Yeah, Mallory! Dawn butts in and asks the kids to think of things they have in Connecticut that they might not have in New Mexico. Like....Stoneybrook souvenirs? Since the Pike kids aren't the brightest crayons in the box (and since this is the Pikes, it's got to be one of those giant boxes of 64 crayons), Adam and Nicky think of cable TV and rain. Cable TV doesn't exist in New Mexico?

The kids get to thinking about more personalized gifts to get their penpals and as we close the chapter, Dawn pretty much gives away the rest of the book:

That was back when the pen pal program was fun. Back when us older kids weren't involved. Simple. Easy. If only I had known what was about to happen.

Dun dun dunnnn!

[revisitingstoneybrook]

#44 Dawn and the Big Sleepover

Remember I said I'd start this weekend? I decided to start earlier so you get this a day early!

This is another one of my favorite BSC books but there's just so much stuff to make fun of in it.

So here's the cover, courtesy of BSC Wiki:

It's more orangey here but the color of the actual here is a really ugly shade of reddish orange that clashes with the pastel covers of the rest of the books.

Once again, Dawn's hair is not so blonde, it's almost white, though it does look pretty long. I guess a white turtleneck and Mom Jeans tucked into white push-down socks are now considered "California Casual." She's also wearing red nail polish, which always struck me as weird, because when does Dawn wear nail polish? She needs to work on it too, it looks like she did her nails in the dark.

I have no clue who any of the kids are. I assume the one with the reddish hair is Jackie Rodowsky but if it was him, that pillow would be exploding. Because, you know, he's a WALKING DISASTER.

That elementary school gym also looks like a dungeon. Look how dark it is!

This is one of the BSC books written by a ghostwriter. Yes, the majority of the BSC series was ghostwritten. You can tell because at the beginning of the book there's a note thanking someone for their help in preparing the manuscript. This one's by Peter Lerangis, who can be over the top, but I do like some things he does. Especially how he writes Claudia, he makes her really sassy.

Also, to make the tags easier to access, since that's how I catalog everything, should I include links in every post? I appreciate feedback!

[revisitingstoneybrook]

I'm back!

Yes, I'm bringing this blog back! And with a new name - it's now Say Hello to Your Friends because that's better than Revisiting Stoneybrook.

I'll be starting with Dawn and the Big Sleepover this weekend. I never finished this one when I did it for the BSC Snark group on LJ, so there will be brand new content with this book!

[revisitingstoneybrook]

Little Sister #40 Karen’s Newspaper: Chapter 20 “The Children’s Page”

The Three Musketeers say farewell to the 3M Gazette and opportunity knocks again.

Next up is Dawn and the Big Sleepover but that’s one I didn’t finish so yay my first actual new content on here will be coming up!

The last issue of The 3M Gazette is published, complete with a goodbye article, and the kids are sad to see it go because it was the only newspaper they actually liked reading. Karen then gets a phone call from Lisa's friend Randi from Chapter 1, the writer for The Stoneybrook News. Lisa sent her some issues of Karen's newspaper! And she liked it! I guess she didn't get the one about Charlie's bracelet and Mr. Billing getting fired. And guess what...she wants to start a children's page for the newspaper and wants some of the articles to be written by kids!

And, to top it off, she wants Karen to do a column for her, and she'll pay her! Well, if it's for an actual newspaper and she isn't the one doing most of the work, hell yeah, Karen will do it!

Geez, if only it were that easy to get jobs in this field!

[revisitingstoneybrook]

Little Sister #40 Karen’s Newspaper: Chapter 19 “Miss Jewel”

The subplot is over as quickly as it started.

Miss Jewel, not to be confused with Mrs. Jewls, the teacher from Wayside School. 

This is the conclusion to the Subplot That was Barely Noticed. If you remember, Andrew doesn't want to go to a new preschool because he's afraid of it and his best friend won't be there and, horror of horrors, he won't know where the bathroom is! I think it was mentioned twice since Andrew confided in Karen about it.

And Andrew doesn't speak in contractions either. I guess he inherited that from Karen.

Karen suggests Andrew visit his school beforehand, she tells Lisa who is surprised she herself didn't think of it earlier. Well, they go there, other kids are visiting, Andrew has a lovely teacher named Miss Jewel, Karen thinks that's a wonderful name, Andrew sees one of his friends from his old school there, he likes looking at the playground, he's no longer scared of preschool, the end.

[revisitingstoneybrook]

Little Sister #40 Karen’s Newspaper: Chapter 18 “Too Much Work”

Karen gets hit with a dose of reality.

Also, I start a new job tomorrow and I’m not sure what my posting schedule on here will be like. I know I’m almost done with this book but hang in there because I’ll make sure I finish it!

Karen's reading Henry and the Paper Route and she’s exhausted from Games Day. I know Kristy and her two minions Mary Anne and Bart ran it but reporting is a difficult job. Kristy compliments her and Karen starts crying saying the paper's no fun anymore. The kids love it so much and expect it every week, so now it's actual work for them! Real work is hard! Being a reporter is hard!

Welcome to the real world, Karen. Though I do have to say...a rare feat in the BSCverse has occured because we have a seven-year-old acting like an actual seven-year old. Someone get the champagne out!

She talks to Elizabeth and Watson the Millionaire and they agree that she should pull the plug on the 3M Gazette after the last issue. She tells Nancy and Hannie, they agree to end their newspaper.

[revisitingstoneybrook]

Little Sister #40 Karen’s Newspaper: Chapter 17 “Games Day”

It’s not a BSC book but we still get an event for kids.

We're told the next three issues are a hit with everyone, even Charlie. I guess Charlie is the gauge they use to see if the paper was good or a mess. They can do better than that. Unfortunately, we aren't told what the stories are in these issues. Here's some ideas:

"Charlie Drives BSC Somewhere, Doesn't Complain" "Mary Anne Spier Cries as She Steps on a Dead Leaf" "Shannon Kilbourne is Better Than You" "Kormans Still Not Using Fish Fountain; Delaneys Outraged" "Andrew Brewer: Boo-Boo's Breath Smells Like Catfood!" "Mallory Pike: Still Not Pretty"

At the end issue #6, they write about Games Day, which takes place in the Big House's backyard since it's, you know, a real, live, mansion!!!!!! But since Karen and Crew are going to be covering it and won't be free to run any of the games, guess who's stuck with that job. Eh, I'm sure Kristy's honored. She's had plenty of experience with this type of thing, since it's what she spends her entire free time doing. And Mary Anne and Bart get wrangled into helping. Cue kissy noises because it's ~Kristy and Bart together~ oooooooooooooooooh! How does that feel, Kristy? Not so nice when you're not the one giving it!

Fourteen kids show up, thankfully, everything's under control because Kristy's in charge. Karen says she's good at that. It’s the BSC mind control!

Games Day goes on and Karen and her friends cover it while Kristy wields her iron fist of babysitting power. She even organizes an “I'm a Little Teapot” Championship for Sari and Emily Michelle since she's such an amazing babysitter. At the end of the day, Maria Kilbourne is the big winner with nine cardboard and construction paper blue ribbons. I think it's safe to say we're looking at Myriah Perkins in Five Years.