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voltron did the lion swap to stop us from using color symbolism. fools. i overcome all hardship with the pen in my hand, this is nothing that will stop me in this lifetime.

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hc that any lion will open up if you knock

julance! (1/31): black paladin lance

The Black Lion is trying to tell them something.

Shiro (the real Shiro, flesh and blood and bleeding eyes), puts his hand against Black’s maw. He closes his eyes, mouth twisting, then pulls his hand away as if burned.

“What is it, Shiro?” Allura asks, even though they all have a faint idea. It looms over them like a storm, shifts the air until it feels hot and crackling. No one wants to say it, not after everything.

Krolia watches all of this from the end of the opposite side of the hangar. The paladins exchange nervous glances. Most of them look to Lance, who already has his eyes on Keith. Keith doesn’t take his gaze off of Shiro. She can see the subtle signs of panic rising in him; his shoulders close in, as if he’s about to be sick.

“Something’s changed. I—” Shiro falters. He turns to them. “Black won’t talk to me.”

.

.

They try everything.

Shiro keeps his hand on Black, eyes closed, while the rest of the paladins shout out ideas for him to say. Pidge scans the Castle for even the tiniest hint of something that could be affecting Black, along with Allura and Coran. They even pressure Keith to give it a shot. He reluctantly gives in and puts his own hand to Black’s mouth.

Nothing changes.

Eventually, Black activates the particle barrier and locks all of them out, which answers the question of whether or not she’s malfunctioned. Krolia, at this point, has pushed off the wall and taken her spot to Keith’s left.

“There has to be an explanation,” Hunk says.

“There is,” says Shiro. He doesn’t bother to reach out again, merely stuffs his hands in his pockets. “I’m not the Black Paladin anymore.”

It hits them like a wave, hard and fast and overpowering. Shiro without the title of Black Paladin is a strange, impossible idea to them. It would be like being told a planet doesn’t spin.

Their eyes train to one spot in synchrony. Keith flushes.

“It’s not me,” he insists. It’s about the hundredth time he’s had to say it. “I already tried. I don’t feel anything.”

“This is ridiculous,” Lance says. “How can we not have a Black Paladin when we had two yesterday?”

“When we come up with something, we’ll let you know.”

“Lance is right,” says Allura. “We cannot go without a paladin for the Black Lion, especially now.”

“Exactly. Maybe this is just a huge misunderstanding,” Lance says, turning towards the particle barrier. He leans in. “Maybe all you had to do, this whole time, was knock.”

Lance raps his knuckles against it one, two, three times, in quick succession. He obviously hadn’t expected anything to happen, too busy trying to slow his thoughts down to consider that anything might.

Then the particle barrier lifts.

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Oh Ms Believer by Twenty One Pilots except you’re listening to it from your headphones while walking home through the snow at night. This “shortcut” through the woods was probably a bad idea now that you’re in it, but the song eases any real worries you might have.

requested by @raindownandestroyme

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absolutely

best lines i’ve seen in fanfic part 1

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Don’t scroll past this.

Reblog to let your followers know that they should never start cutting.

I know this website makes it seem like that shit is normal but trust me, it’s not. And once you start, you’ll never really start and it will haunt you for life.

It never gets easier, it never stops hurting, it isn’t (and will never be) “cool” or “the only way out”

Please don’t start. If you already are cutting, tell sometime and get help, it’s not as scary as it seems and you will be better off by it.

If even one person reads this… Please. You matter.

Don’t start.

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I know discourse is the word of choice in fandom nowadays but I kind of wish we would have stuck with “fandom wank” because it carries the implication that the anger involved culminated into effectively nothing and that the act was wholeheartedly masturbatory in nature rather than for any greater cause.

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Before they were famous

https://imgur.com/gallery/BkIoW0L

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Shrek 2 (2004) dir. Adam Duritz

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Comedian and vlogger Elijah Daniel became mayor of Hell, Michigan, proceeded to ban all heterosexuals, and then was impeached. This singlehandedly saved 2017

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Molly: Let's interchange the initials of our first and last name!

Molly: Holly Mooper

Greg: Lreg Gestrade

Sherlock: Hherlock Solmes. What the-

John: Wohn Jatson

Mary: I hate this game.

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req’d by @nonbinartist

today on cursed lyric mishearings….

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all i am

is a man

i want girl fieri

in my hands

i love to eat

but i stand

in weird ass shitposts

with my toes in the sand

i'm just a guy fieri looking for his girl fieri

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skin teeth would like to disagree with you very much

what do you think of sharks? they're very smooth to the touch I've heard

oh yes sharks are very smooth I've touched one before

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skin teeth would like to disagree with you very much

what do you think of sharks? they're very smooth to the touch I've heard

oh yes sharks are very smooth I've touched one before

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actually they have teeth on their skin, so no, they are not smooth at all. they feel like sandpaper.

what do you think of sharks? they're very smooth to the touch I've heard

oh yes sharks are very smooth I've touched one before

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do you ever feel like you missed a lot in someone else’s conversation

like today

running to choir

and i hear this one kid yelling

i’m a mistake! i know it!

...

in what context does this make sense other than me walking into a YA novel for five seconds

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ways i have tricked people into thinking i am competent:

bought a really nice looking fountain pen

that sounds like a joke but fountain pens are cheap as shit and when you use one people look at you like you’re a fucking wizard

this hero 901 cost me $3 on ebay and i don’t know why people assume that this is a pen for intelligent people but they do

it works better when i am using a nice notebook and not the avengers notebook that makes it look like the hulk is grabbing my sweet pen

i write in code which for some reason leads everyone to assume that i am some kind of da vinci motherfucker, instead of the reality, which is that i am writing about dicks and don’t want anyone to know

it looks like i am constantly taking notes on everything which is both intimidating and inaccurate, just the way i like it

i bought a usb clicker/laser pointer for $11 and now it seems like i’ve got this shit on lock, like i am so pro at giving presentations i even own accessories

holding a clicker makes you seem at least 10% more like you know what you’re talking about i’m pretty sure

i check the weekly freebies on creativemarket every monday so now i have a huge folder of pro-looking website themes and powerpoint templates and fill-in-the-blank resumes (also a lot of autumnal clipart and watercolor flowers and script fonts but that is less relevant)

i bought a ceramic coffee mug at world market years ago and it makes me look like a productive coffee-drinker because no one knows it’s full of hot cocoa

i don’t know why drinking coffee makes you look busy it just does even though i’m pretty sure it statistically reduces productivity

bonus: not only does no one know i’m just drinking Depression Chocolate but they think i am being Environmentally Conscious rather than Poor As Shit

extra bonus: i can take a sip whenever it looks like someone is going to ask a question and then they ask someone else

i almost never have to answer questions and i leave the room a lot because i have to pee constantly so double extra bonus

“That’s a very good question, and one that deserves an in-depth answer, so if you’d like to leave me your card I’d be happy to discuss it with you later one-on-one” aka “how DARE you suggest i waste everyone’s time answering this question right now” aka “lmfao i have no fucking clue what you just said please let me secretly google that okay”

bonus: now it seems like you are a sophisticated grownup who assumes everyone has A Card and if they have to settle for writing their email on a scrap of paper you can feel smug about it even though in your heart you know that you are no better

i’ve got anxiety and poor impulse control and anxiety about my poor impulse control so i generally say jack shit about shit and this constant silence is often misinterpreted as aloof observation

no one knows that my air of mystery is actually a bad case of the shy and i am too shy to correct them so it works out

when i’m on my laptop and i don’t want anyone to notice how much i’m dicking around i turn the brightness way down so they can’t snoop without being obvious

at least one window of notepad++ with some random html page or css stylesheet in it makes randos assume you are some kind of genius doing some genius shit, unless they are CS major randos, in which case i guess find an intimidating looking excel spreadsheet and hope for the best