riadiz

[riadiz]

June 9 PM

Tonight I think Teo tried to say "i love you"...

He came to me... hugged me... and said something like 'i love you' in his tone.

I am so happy! ❤ He may not yet verbal at 3yo, but i know in that moment he told me that he loves me.

Also, he always call me ummmaaa... ummaa.. which is his version of "mama". ❤

[riadiz]

I miss to work. THB. And to hustle for a project.

Work to be honest boost our confidence and worth to self.

But I also know that my identity is not in my job, but in Christ.

I miss my work, but I also want my son in everything that I do and wanted to do. Right now, I am everywhere he is because he needs me more that I wanted a job. Teo is the job and Teo needs my support.

[riadiz]

It's just so sad, that i guess i am losing my own voice in this world. And i have no power over the situation i am in. Make no mistake, i love my son. I love being his mother. But i can't avoid to feel overwhelmed with whats in my plate at the moment. Too much to take.

My career that has been halt to care for my son.

My son's ASD. And he didn't chose that.

My worries for us financially.

Trying to please people that I shouldn't.

My anger.

My health.

My body that had a huge leap because of pregnancy.

Too much worry.

Overthinking maybe.

Not exactly that I wanted the "ME" I was before.

Not that I am saying, mothering felt less.

I just do not like that it seems I have no other option but to do this, to be this. That I wanted more. To do more. To be more.

[riadiz]

1 ♥️ 12 mos. photo goal complete. More milestones to come! 🥳 https://www.instagram.com/p/B_97ct4nGpOdfnbegyU8oVOI5Ec8YnmX9kAtvM0/?igshid=1tbq5dbdrq8yy

[riadiz]

The less we say, the more we preserves ‘love’.

[riadiz]

My little human on 11th month ♥️ Finally, I can leave him on the bed while he watch LLB, Dave and Ava and Loo loo kids. Yet, can’t do a work because as soon as he sees me, he will throw his fake cry for a carry. Always curious on what I do with my phone so he’ll come to me and check. He loves watching his swim video. It’s his favorite. He also likes watching baby Zac and Ate baby Jamie’s (cousins) vids. He do peek a boo on his blanket. Bite everything he finds. Crawl every corner of the living room. Sometimes if no one is watching he eats a carton box or paper. 😅 He likes watching the caster of his stroller moves at noon. Often it makes him sleep. Dances. Sings. Likes playing with papa’s laptop and mouse. 😍♥️ https://www.instagram.com/p/B-uG6oPHXvArGIDPvUGgDURd-LS-EwOStB1A_w0/?igshid=zs02brtoss5c

[riadiz]

Well some thought that silence is coward work. It's not-knowing, fear, complacency etc. But one truth about silence is it's your only place to prevent the attack your mouth can make.

[riadiz]

Art is not always the truth.

[riadiz]

I want this bed truck papa! -Teo https://www.instagram.com/p/B9JhOdgnxfAX0ro2RPDDAmPy7d9smTxe4TPSho0/?igshid=1wx6qs98ofrww

[riadiz]

♥️ https://www.instagram.com/p/B8n_pMonHewpRJIo1sH6-t-NygxL-GxURvMa8o0/?igshid=iw4x19nv7l70

[riadiz]

I am my mom’s little dinosaur. 🦕 9 months on my mom’s tummy and 9 months here with her. Wow that was quick! I continue learning nursery songs, and baby tricks. I love tickle time before going to bed. I can also dance to the beat and sing. Know where I am better at? Making a mess. ☺️ Thank you mama and papa for your gifts! 😘 https://www.instagram.com/p/B8Tk3bPH5IqtOVpwloUNJLkcDFOzqASdiVIRoE0/?igshid=n78zybpawyl

[riadiz]

I am 8 months motherfather! ♥️ At 8th mom said I am not a baby any more and she kinda not like it. 🤣 Now I am comprehensive and curious. I like to try new things like food, bed wrestling, touching phone screens and lot of complaining when I want to go out of the house. Still not interested in baby TV, I easily get bored. I am now a pro actor. Drama is my power. 🤣 I have growing 2 teeth, visible and on use. I can play peek a boo and chase. I am nice but get really angry when they don’t get what I mean. I also sleep like a big guy — sleeping in circles and snoring. Also say hi to my friends Tony, Cap and Spidey! ♥️ https://www.instagram.com/p/B7K1Ex9n4Wg6gl5eHX9c6wsBI9YgAfeEH3RZqQ0/?igshid=1soe8jjc5il5h

[riadiz]

7th month and UP! ♥️ https://www.instagram.com/p/B6FOPPLndfSMw5d0w9EzLfZImFUzZ-WG36dkJ80/?igshid=r90oyw2plks1

[riadiz]

Happy 6th my love! 😍 Holds his own bottle already. Alway practicing his ‘close-open’ and show it off. Love to raise his legs. Loves to smile and laugh. Sweet as he always like to hold hands as he sleeps.♥️ https://www.instagram.com/p/B4tIL5oH1AQvpqvGO1F13g21I1op4aEbetzlkE0/?igshid=18d6pjrwn2qvo

[riadiz]

5th and now knows how to make fake cry. At night I will wait for mama to close her eyes before I close mine, making her sleep and not finishing her work. I like holding my mama’s finger as I sleep, and cry when I woke up and see papa sleeping beside me. So I kick him in the face but he laugh, so I keep doing it. I think he likes it. 😊 I talk a lot when comfortable. I still talk to my blue pillow and my toys. But when I knew we are with other relatives I behave so they’ll praise me, “good boy!” and lablab me. I love tickle time and breathe fresh air outside while watching our fortune tree with my baby friend Nature. Strange but I only watch paw patrol and racing. Maybe I am a racer too like Tito John. 😊🧸🏎 I am already learning to crawl https://www.instagram.com/p/B3Ww_pPHVMxYOdiMlVKMMjjpBReyuoAta6diFY0/?igshid=e1e8oqtdsky7

[riadiz]

At my 3rd month I like mama’s lullaby as I sleep. I try to talk so you know, we can have interesting conversation. I can now play with my toys that has lights and play songs and sounds. I am able to watch cartoons already but I get bored easily so I make drama. I still like hugging while sleeping. Love aircon with electricfan at the same time and very curious with fiery lights. -Teo ♥️ https://www.instagram.com/p/B057V-enP9j8lu5PqpPu12PAIiqdYnDzpMMBzg0/?igshid=1ky4ragrrt73t

[riadiz]

I kicked my 2nd month away!👶🏻 -Teo https://www.instagram.com/p/BzrHMW3n9RQbhOiG_9Nry25V-OUKPhOn-Uq2CQ0/?igshid=177lx77fn5r5r