rice-n-honey

[rice-n-honey]

i say this in all seriousness, a great way to resist the broad cultural shift of devaluing curiosity and critical thinking is to play my favorite game, Hey What Is That Thing

you play it while walking around with friends and if you see something and don't know what it is or wonder why its there, you stop and point and say Hey What Is That Thing. and everyone speculates about it. googling it is allowed but preferably after spending several minutes guessing or asking a passerby about it

weird structures, ambiguous signs, unfamiliar car modifications, anything that you can't immediately understand its function. eight times out of ten, someone in the group actually knows, and now you know!

a few examples from me and my friends the past few weeks: "why is there a piece of plywood sticking out of that pond in a way that looks intentional?" (its a ramp so squirrels that fall in to the pond can climb out) • "my boss keeps insisting i take a vacation of nine days or more, thats so specific" (you work at a bank, banks make employees take vacation in long chunks so if youre stealing or committing fraud, itll be more obvious) • "why does this brick wall have random wooden blocks in it" (theres actually several reasons why this could be but we asked and it was so you could nail stuff to the wall) • "most of these old factories we drive past have tinted windows, was that just for style?" (fun fact the factory owners realized that blue light keeps people awake, much like screen light does now, so they tinted the windows blue to keep workers alert and make them work longer hours)

been playing this game for a long time and ive learned (and taught) a fuckton about zoning laws, local history, utilities (did you know you can just go to your local water treatment plant and ask for a tour and if they have a spare intern theyll just give you a tour!!!) and a whole lot of fun trivia. and now suddenly you're paying more attention when youre walking around, thinking about the reasons behind every design choice in the place you live that used to just be background noise. and it fuckin rules.

[rice-n-honey]

You've certainly heard this tossed around as a fun fact before, maybe you've dismissed it as a joke... But it's actually 100% true. The tanned hide of an animal stretched over a car seat imbues the vehicle with the respective animus, hence cars have such distinct temperaments.... Having found this out from a friend of an uncle on facebook marketplace, for weeks I fashioned my bespoke car seats from dog leather, yes, dog leather, there are now a couple dozen laika spirits bound to this honda civic. Nowhere will you find another car as loyal to its master. So no, I did not "randomly" swerve out of the lane officer. Fuck you.

[rice-n-honey]

In February, I had an introductory ceramics class. Obviously, I tried to animate it.

[rice-n-honey]

I like to think the concept of Mobei Jun enjoying Shang Qinghua’s verbal rants ISN’T because MBJ isn’t thinking anything himself but is in fact Overthinking Everything. This man has been under constant threat from nearby sources his entire life. It’s probably pretty nice to hear this little hamster man beside him say all of his worries out loud and others that maybe he hadn’t considered yet and then Immediately find a way to counteract them.

Like first of all, the beautiful feeling of someone else ALSO being like ‘okay well maybe the fucking chandelier has been sabotaged to fall at the exact right time, has anyone planned for that??’ because MBJ’s been thinking it but one must also consider the optics of being a demon going around just attacking light sources, especially since he’s already destroyed three of them today, and being seen as afraid in general is Not a Great Look for survival and maintaining power.

But then SQH KEEPS talking and it’s all ‘and maybe it will explode in a poisonous gas that there’s only one antidote for god it’s a good thing cucumber-bro remembered that plotline and we were able to grab the Special Antidote Plant before this became a fucking issue for me to deal with on top of seating arrangements’ and MBJ hadn’t even considered the poisonous gas angle yet but that’s what he keeps this human around for. Validation and immediate escalation all tied up with Results. You can’t even say SQH is hyper cautious either because literally every time he starts mumbling about some insanely complicated potential sabotage it happens like five minutes later.

[rice-n-honey]

Alexander, Troy and King Arthur all came out in 2004. Shittastic year for gay history nerds. Epic highs and lows that are the lowest ever seen.

[rice-n-honey]

GUYS I JUST PLAYED BADMINTON WITH GRIAN MINECRAFT????? WHAT THE FUCK?????

[rice-n-honey]

GUYS I JUST PLAYED BADMINTON WITH GRIAN MINECRAFT????? WHAT THE FUCK?????

[rice-n-honey]

Tim, trying to buy ice cream: yeah can i get a strawberry cone with-

Jason, filling in for his goon’s side gig shift because he felt bad that the guy got injured working a job for him: sorry machine’s broken.

Tim:

Tim: they’re tubs… i can see it through the glass case. it’s full.

Tim:

Tim: also what the fuck are you doing here?

Jason:

Jason: i don’t like your attitude, you’re hereby banned from this establishment-

Tim: wait please it’s my favourite place-

Jason: you’re on the wall of shame now. get out.

[rice-n-honey]

Jason and Tim get into a brotherly spat that turns physical and ends in them accidentally breaking the batsignal. not wanting to be chastised for fighting so recklessly, they decide the best option is to break a rogue out of Arkham specifically so they can use him as a patsy.

Reporter: witnesses say that as he was being dragged back to his cell heavily beaten from his tussle with Batman and Robin, the Condiment King was wailing loudly about how the Red Hood and Red Robin had been the master minds of this operation; kidnapping him from his cell and dropping him on a random roof before locking the emergency exit and abandoning him with no way down. he is currently waiting on a drug test to see if hallucinagenics could be contributing to his delusions.

Bruce, turning away from the TV to stare at Jason and Tim: anything to say?

Jason:

Tim:

Jason: clearly you hit him too hard.

Tim: yeah that’s insane. maybe ease up a little next time, B.

Jason: and you got pissed at me for ALLEGEDLY pushing a guy off a balcony? you just gave poor Mr Mayo brain damage!

Tim: honestly you’re a disgrace right now.

Jason: i hope you feel bad.

Bruce:

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Tim: I was awake at 2 am last night and-

Dick: patrolling?

Tim: no, in bed, anyways-

Jason: do you need a new mattress or something? That seems like a bad time to be up

Tim: no?? As I was saying, do we get.. like.. a pension?

Dick: uh? I do I’m a police officer?

Tim: no, for being Robin?

Damian: Drake, don’t be ridiculous.

Tim: don’t get me wrong, Bruce did support us when we were all minors but… what about retirement??

Jason: …holy shit

Damian: father probably has money put away

Dick: I mean…

*Alfred walking in*

Alfred: What is this about retirement?

Tim: ARE WE GOING TO GET ANY FORM OF PENSION??

Alfred: master Timothy, you are one of the least likely to need to worry about that

Jason: WHAT ABOUT ME??

Alfred:

Alfred: Im sure Master Bruce has money put aside for university that… none of you have used

Damian: I could use mine

Alfred: Al Ghul, you are a money tree

*Bruce walks in*

Bruce: Whats happening in here?

Dick: Do we get pension? Or anything for being Robin?

Bruce: uh.

Bruce: Maybe, I put stuff aside for you and Jason, but after you inherited your families money, and Jason died… oh

Jason: …

Bruce: I’ll… start investing

Tim: great things happen at 2 am

[rice-n-honey]

elephant trunk snakes are absolutely ridiculous. That's a creature alright.

[rice-n-honey]

i love it when people write tim as having been fully indoctrinated into the bats but jack drake is still alive and just… there. watching incredulously with narrowed eyes as his son joins another family.

-at a gala, jack and bruce conversing-

tim, walking up to bruce: dad, alfred called and said we’re out of orange juice. he wants us to pick some up on the way home.

bruce: sure

jack:

jack: what.

tim, turning to jack: oh hey, didn’t see you there. *leaves*

jack: WHAT?

bruce: sorry for the interruption, anyway as i was saying-

jack: IS HE GOING HOME WITH YOU?!

bruce:

bruce: i mean he arrived with me, so…

jack: WHAT-

-

-during a filmed interview-

bruce, hand on tim’s shoulder: and this is one of my middle children, tim-

*in the background of the shot we see jack drake throw his hands up in the air before storming off indignantly*

-

-jack knocks on the door of wayne manor in the early morning-

tim: *opens door, yawning and wearing pjs* oh hey dad, what do you need?

jack:

jack: i was dropping off misdelivered mail- what are YOU doing here?

tim: i mean… i WAS sleeping in my very comfy bed, but then you woke me up. thanks for that.

jack:

jack: WHY ARE YOU-

tim: i think the real question is why didn’t you know i wasn’t back at drake manor, HMM?

jack:

tim: thanks for the mail- oh shit this is the thing Damian and i ordered for our new pet, i cant believe it got delivered to the wrong house, thanks for bringing it.

jack:

jack: are we still family?

tim:

[rice-n-honey]

if yall aren't keyed into @waylay-managment get there NOW shits going down! We've got half the TMA cast watching Martin beat Elias with a pipe, Cecil Palmer is narrating, Slip is doing drugs in the waylay, we have multiple adopted children, two more Kaynes have hit the towers, Diluc is here... for some reason. Shits insane

[rice-n-honey]

chat i miss waylay management

[rice-n-honey]

seems like y'all want something

[rice-n-honey]

seems like y'all want something

[rice-n-honey]

I miss your blog and I’m really sorry tumblr laser beamed you >:( anyways I am teleporting 339 nonexistent cookies and your preferred variety of tea to your location we need our whimsy back

Whimsy beam <33333333333333

also, you will get your whimsy back, as I have made a discord. I’m waiting to see if I need it until Monday, but if my title of tumblr sexyman is not reinstated then I will have to bring my business elsewhere >:(

also TY!!!!!! I love you!!!!!!