richpowerfuldisobedient

[richpowerfuldisobedient]

My parents raise me to do everything and never told me I was just their daughter. They also don't get me and do not understand how I think. I have fought with them for a lot. It was needed. It was then heeded.

But amidst every fight and sometimes unfortunately after the tears, I remember my mum making sure I study in a school they couldn't afford. I recall a moment when my dad was told girls don't play sports and he dropped me at the match.

Idk what I would have been if I wasn't born to these mad rebels of their household. I don't listen because they never did. Somewhere I am okay with that, someday they will be proud of it.

[richpowerfuldisobedient]

TTPD just hits different. I literally have NO idea how anyone could not like it. It’s probably Taylor’s best work EVER. I mean the lyrics “My beloved ghost in me, sitting in a tree, D-Y-I-N-G” and “Blood’s thick but nothing like a payroll” are literally so fucking beautiful.

[richpowerfuldisobedient]

being the eldest daughter is so draining. parents holding you to higher emotional standards than the ones they hold themselves to. than the ones they hold anyone else to. always being so underappreciated for how you've raised so many people even though you're still a child. wanting to get away. wanting to stay for the sake of your siblings because they need you. feeling kinship to your mother for being underappreciated and overworked but wondering why it always has to be you to break the cycle. feeling like you're the parent and being painfully reminded that you're not when you go unnoticed again. wondering if what you want even matters, since no one seems to care about it. learning how to rely on yourself. learning how to prioritise yourself and feeling guilty for it because you don't know anything else. learning how to break cycles again and again and take care of yourself, since no one else is going to do it for you

[richpowerfuldisobedient]

Move over hot priest. We need to talk about hot rabbi

[richpowerfuldisobedient]

I am going to stop investing in people and see if they invest when I don't. I am tired of feeling that all my love is unrequited.

[richpowerfuldisobedient]

Everyone tells you that friendship is important because life is hard alone.

No one tells you about the love you get.

No one talks about how much a person can bring joy just by giving you all the love you search everywhere.

No one tells you that you can find someone who will see you grow, evolve, lose, cry, weep, vomit, rant, and rage but still hold you.

I have gone to this person with faces I did not want to see in the mirror and she has looked it with softness people don't have in their palms.

I could have been dry as a flower in an old book and she has made it a point to water me to life.

There has been an era when she was dealing with an unrecoverable disaster of her own and she still gave me everything.

Every part of my skin that I was uncomfortable with became my armor because she said it is worth gold.

I have brought my worst to her and saw her telling me in every way that I deserve better. I have brought my best to her and saw her celebrating it harder.

I hate calling it platonic love. Because it's all the love that was not accepted anywhere. It's love that didn't want to accept any conditions. It's love that I was nurturing inside me since I was a kid and waiting that someday someone would take it as is.

She never asked for more salt when it didn't taste the same. She never wanted to reheat it on days it was cold.

Everyone used to talk about this kind of love and never ever told me where I will find it maybe because they never knew it needs to be raised.

It's like a kid and it's there and it only becomes what you make of it.

Both of us made this.

I have run back to this love every time no matter whether I am empty or full. It's like the fucking air around me. I am nothing at all if I am not breathing it in and out a bit every moment.

And that's the reason I beg every woman to have this love. It transcends over all the love you will ever experience. I am glad she chose me for this.

[richpowerfuldisobedient]

The quote "You are always almost too late to kill yourself" lives in my heart like a stone covered in thorns.

[richpowerfuldisobedient]

If any boomer tells you to buy a house, tell them to give you theirs.

If they tell you to have a kid, ask them to have one.

Funny thing is they can't do either and the silence is loud enough to stop such conversations.

[richpowerfuldisobedient]

I have hurt my mother so much, intentionally and unintentionally. Somedays, I want to punish my existence for being unkind to her for a single moment. A daughter's mother is different from a son's mother. And no one tells you that.