rick-mage-of-mind

[rick-mage-of-mind]

Awesome, once again I'm alone in some sort of incorporeal region of indeterminate realism.

Welp

Might as well do something productive.

By which i mean stair at the internet.

[rick-mage-of-mind]

Hello? Marlot? Chell?

Whear did you guys go. Come back.

You are going to make me develop abandonment issues.

Also why is it dark again?

Why does this always happen to me.

==>

[rick-mage-of-mind]

(Mumble mumble c3< market<3<Groucho mumble)

[rick-mage-of-mind]

Rick: Marlot. Marlot are you with me?

Rick: Marlot I need you to wake up but whatever you do dont remove the blindfold

Chel: Rick I don't think he's even awake yet

Rick: well he needs to be

Chel: Maybe you shouldn't have hit him so hard then?

Rick: like I didn't know that thanks

MARLOT: uuugh

Rick: Marlot! You arent dead!

MARLOT: I ɑm not. Though, I feel ɑs though I should be.

Rick: Great, glad to hear you are feeling better

Rick: anyway

Rick: i need you to keep that blindfold on

Rick: for your own sake

MARLOT: For your own sɑke, Ríck. Thís hɑd better hɑve ɑ very good explínɑtíon whích you ɑre reɑdy to supply quíckly.

Rick: basically the plannet is inverting due to the second game connection and is generating insane amounts of light and where thoughts now create "anti-light"

Rick: if you value your troll vision you'd do well not to take it off

MARLOT: Hm.

Chel: Yes hm indeed

MARLOT: Who ɑre you, then?

Chel: That is hardly te most pressing concern though

Rick: Oh, this is...

Rick: She is

Rick: my..

Chel: His sprite

Rick: yeah... that

MARLOT: Ah.

Rick: Apparently when i entered the LOTAD i had a... thought

Rick: or more specificaly a memory

Rick: which the kernel prototyped

MARLOT: Do colour me shocked ɑt the prospect of such ɑn occurɑnce.

Rick: you may not be but i am

Chel: >.>

Rick: sorry but you've been dead for years Chel

Rick: its.. hard

MARLOT: God forbíd I ɑm mɑde to wítness the touchíng reuníon between yourelf ɑnd whɑtever thís person wɑs to you before theír deɑth ɑnd subsequent prototypíng.

Chel: It's nothing, don't worry about him

MARLOT: Pleɑse enlíghten me ɑs to why you felt ít necessɑry to ɑttɑck me.

Rick: wait what?

MARLOT: I wɑs not knocked unconscíous of my own volítíon!

Rick: oh

Rick: oh yes that

Rick: i did that

MARLOT: Obvíously. I ɑm curíous ɑs to why.

Rick: but only because i felt a lot safer when the perspn weilding a knife and holding me upside down by my foot was unconcious

Chel: What he means is

MARLOT: You ínítíɑted thɑt confrontɑtíon, Ríck. I wɑs merely ɑctíng ín my own self defense.

Chel: He doesn't remember

MARLOT: Musclebeɑstshít.

Rick: all i remember was waking up with a hole in the side of my house and you standing over me

Rick: the only thing before that is just.... anger

Rick: not at anything in particular, just anger

MARLOT: Are you ímplyíng thɑt you were not yourself ɑt the tíme of your ɑggressíon?

Chel: That's one way of putting it

Rick: what the fuck does that mean

Chel: Just, you'll see. In about 8 minutes

MARLOT: I ɑm quíte díspleɑsed wíth thís turn of events. Enlíghten me ɑs to whɑt wíll occur ɑt thɑt poínt?

Rick: heh nice pun

Rick: because the plannet

Chel: Yes we get it Rick >.>

Chel: Now tell him what I explained to you, if you remembr

Rick: of course i remmebr, jeeze

Rick: APPARENTLY

MARLOT: Kíndly keep your voíce lowered.

Rick: sorry

Rick: the planet is not only a giant lightbulb, its moving

Rick: We are moving at the speed of infinity across the borders between universes

Rick: whatever that means

MARLOT: Am I correct ín ɑssumíng thɑt the two sessíons ɑre mergíng properly ɑt thís juncture?

Chel: You know how the game teleports you home to the players planet?

Chel: Well the game interpreted the whole planet as the house and we are being sent to the new players planet

MARLOT: Whích plɑyer míght thɑt be?

Rick: yeah really

Chel: You Rick

Chel: But not you

Chel: The one responsible for the strife

MARLOT: Thɑt ís quíte possíbly the most nonsensícɑl thíng I hɑve ever heɑrd.

Chel: I asure you it's true

Rick: wait there are two of me??

Rick: did you heear that MArlot, two of me, wont that be fun??

MARLOT: I ɑm posítívely thrílled ɑt the very prospect.

Rick: im assuming that was sarcasm

Chel: .-.

MARLOT: It wɑs.

Chel: Anyway, times up

Chel: We're here

Rick: SHIT what is that

Chel: THAT is derse. You might want to brace yourselves

[rick-mage-of-mind]

-- culpableBean [CB] began messaging mentallyHandicapped [MH] at 22:32 --

CB: yo#

CB: yo# dawg#

MH: Oh you again

MH: eye remember you

MH: your name was Yanno?

CB: you were a fuckin# asshat last time we had words but it#s cool #cause i got shit needs to be done#

CB: m#name#s serrat

CB: you#re rick# right#

MH: yes

MH: and if you are not yanno then who is

CB: cool# cool#

CB: sh#t# dawg# you#re rollin# on that# i guess i#m# yanno# yanno#

CB: idgaf what u decide to call me# dawg#

MH: no you are Serrat

MH: anyway

MH: the last time we talked i was.... broken

MH: but im better now

MH: i guess?

MH: fuck if i know anythign anymore

MH: what did you knead?

CB: listen# n#gga# idgaf about ur personal issues but my friend br#ney tells me i gots to hook up wit# u in order to play this game that#s gonna get me outta this fuck#n mess so what#s the deal#

MH: you are activating a server and require a player?

CB: yeah# that#s the shit i#m talkin# about#

MH: sweet

MH: lets get this shit rolling

CB: aw# yeah#

MH: double entry ftw

MH: ill get the program set up

CB: no#romo# dawg

MH: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JV7nOgVCvA

CB: aw shit# that#s some sick melodies#

CB: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYb_BsQRkrQ

CB: check that sh#t#

CB: you know what# dawg# i think we#re gonna have a smooth partnership here#

CB: so let#s hook this sh#t up#

MH: woah woah what

CB: no#fuckin##romo# dawg# i#m talkin# about the game#

MH: oh..

MH: right

MH: ok well i think im all set

MH: you may comence hooking up

-- culpableBean [CB] has connected to SGRUB network as server player for mentallyHandicapped --

CB: sweet#

MH: sweet, lay that shit out

MH: the machines

CB: h#lls yeah# son#

-- culpableBean [CB] deploys punch disignex --

CB: /deploys everything in the smoothest way ever witnessed by any session of SBURB or SGRUB in the entire history of paradox space

MH: wow

MH: you broke nothing

MH: how even

MH: i thought that was like a rule or something

CB: tbh there weren#t much there to break in the first place# dawg#

MH: true

CB: but i guess i#ve just got mad tallent#

CB: ain#t no big

MH: just one sec, i need to find something heavy to open the cruxtruder

MH: maybe marlot has something

CB: that cat chillin# wit# you#

CB: tell him i said #sup#

MH: Who you mean Marlot?

CB: yeah# dawg# you#re on the DL right# you know the know#

MH: I cant tell him "sup" because he is half dead

MH: but thats ok i think

-- mentallyHandicapped [MH] dropps kitchen sink on the cruxtruder --

CB: sh#t# day#m# that#s gettin# it done#

MH: time to carve this thing up

CB: yo# we need some fat notes up in here for this#

CB: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gi1w5DkgVck

-- culpableBean [CB] changed their mood to ECSTATIC  --

MH: this thing is actually really heavy

MH: even after carving half of it away

CB: sure don# look like much# though#

MH: alright well hear goes nothing

MH: its

MH: ITS

MH: a mirror?

CB: i don#t even know# dawg

-- mentallyHandicapped [MH] looks into the mirror --

MH: no

MH: no no no

MH: NO

CB: you alright# dawg#

MH: STOP

MH: NO GET aWay NO

MH: NOT AGAIN

CB: you don#t look so cool#

-- mentallyHandicapped [MH] dropps mirror --

-- mentallyHandicapped [MH] lost connection --

CB: oh# sh#t#

[rick-mage-of-mind]

-- satiricalStrummer [SS] began messaging mentallyHandicapped [MH] at 20:49 --

SS: what's this i hear about you beating up marlot?

MH: lets just say i stapled him half to death...

SS: but why?

SS: what do we gain from that?

MH: that kind of thing tends to happen when you black out and wake up under a pile of what was once a wall of your house being lefted up by your leg by a 7 foot tall alien

MH: at that point shit has already hit the fan

MH: with a knife i might add, he had a knife

SS: so are you saying he was threatening you?

MH: i sure felt threatened

MH: but i cant say

MH: i dont remember how it started

MH: i may have been the one who started whatever "it" was...

SS: so why don't you tell me the full story in detail?

MH: all i remember is being.. angry

MH: really angry

MH: but not angry?

MH: I would think something and it would come out loud and intense and bitter and just ANGRY

MH: and thats when i blacked out

MH: woke up in a pile of rubble and Marlot was pulling me out of it with a knife in his other hand looking like he was gonna murder someone

MH: so i guess my reflexes kicked in, I grabbed a 2x4 and jabbed up at his face and hand and he dropped me

SS: hmmmm so it sounds like you really couldn't control what happened at the time

MH: i rolled behind a table and he just charged right thoguh it, ofice supplys flew in all directions

MH: so i swung the 2x4 at a stapler which ejected the staple quite forcefully into his skull

MH: i thought i had killed him i realy did

SS: well it sounds like you regret what you did and didn't mean to do it

MH: idk how i feel

MH: just that i do

MH: and its... different

MH: unnerving

SS: seems like you're rational now

SS: to me it looks like your survival instincts kicked in

SS: you saw something that looked threatening

SS: so you took action to defend yourself albeit a little overboard

MH: im really trying to be rational but its not working as well as id like

MH: i panicked when the action stopped

MH: marlot was dead and tricho was furious and he kept telling me to kiss him and revive him

MH: and i did but he wasnt dead

MH: he's still unconcious but

MH: its so confusing!

SS: let me ask

SS: did you feel anger while do it or fear?

MH: ive never felt more lucid than i did durring the fight

MH: and i want it back

MH: it was neither, it was logic

MH: but now its gone and im a mess

MH: fuck this shuit

MH: its not like it even matters

MH: if he died or not

MH: we arent going to win

SS: bullshit

SS: we will win

MH: no

MH: no we wont

SS: dammit

MH: i can feel it

MH: i SAW it

MH: i saw the feling

MH: then i lost it

MH: my kernel took the feeling

SS: i'll make sure we win

SS: idk

MH: but i still feel it

SS: you know how you feel it and "saw" it

SS: well

SS: i feel we can win

MH: how

SS: i'm not exactly sure

SS: but that's the great thing about games

SS: finding different ways to win

MH: but we cant!

SS: main protagonist are always faced with difficult challenges

MH: The game is broken

SS: let me finish

MH: fine

SS: and things that put them down

SS: but the point is to rise above those challenges

SS: fine

SS: the game is broken

SS: you know what we do?

SS: WE FUCKING FIX IT IN *OUR* FAVOR!

MH: you dont understand *I* broke it

MH: i dont knwo what that means

MH: but i broke it

SS: ok wow you broke it

SS: whoopdyfuckingdoo

SS: again if something breaks

SS: YOU FIX IT

MH: ....fine

SS: listen

SS: i'm not trying to be hard

SS: believe me

SS: i have my doubts

SS: BUT

SS: who knows

SS: we may have our chances to win this

SS: even if it is slim

SS: we just have to exploit the hell out of that slim chance

MH: fatten that fucker up

SS: there you go

SS: now you're talking like a winner

SS: take that sliver and make it bigger

MH: or

MH: or

MH: we could make us smaller

MH: because relativity

MH: heh

SS: no!

MH: YES

SS: eh true

SS: but no

SS: we gotta stay positive on this

MH: fine, ill try

SS: don't worry bro

SS: i got your back

MH: this place is just so crushing in its blankness

SS: i feel ya

SS: ever since i entered nothing but needles everywhere

SS: whats that a cave over there?

SS: covered in fucking needles

MH: fuck needles

MH: i hate them

SS: yeah

SS: i have a fear of needles

SS: and look what i get for a fucking planet

MH: i can relate

SS: Land of Needles and Essence

MH: about the needle fear i mean

SS: so i advise staying away

SS: have so many cuts now because of this place

SS: and man

SS: you should have seen when i was getting my tattoos

SS: screamed like a little baby

SS: but that's our little secret

MH: speaking of secrets...

MH: that givwes me an idea

SS: oh?

SS: oh!!!

SS: hey

SS: since fg wasn't any help

SS: do you know anything about "quest beds"?

MH: only that Tricho mentioned one durring the whole Marlot is dead thing

MH: why?

SS: so he does know more than he's letting on

SS: nothing

SS: just something the locals on the planet were talking about and was interested in finding out about

SS: now what was your idea?

MH: im gonna tatoo Marlot while he is out cold, but how to make the device...

SS: heh

SS: here's the code

SS: hug3m1st4k3

MH: thanks so much

MH: Marlot just has a bunch of plants and shit in his syladex

SS: plants?

SS: boring

-- satiricalStrummer [SS] pulls out guitar --

SS: this is what every sylladex needs

MH: a guitar?

MH: why

SS: dude why not

SS: and how could you not guest that?

SS: guess

MH: because what if you cant play guitar

SS: but i can play guitar

MH: eye cant

SS: and you could always can learn

MH: nah

MH: i dont do music anymore

SS: since we never really talk and i had no idea what i needed to do

SS: all i did was just explore, play guitar, drink, and learn as much as i can about the game's abstracts personally

MH: the game's... personality?

SS: no

SS: i mean

SS: i personally dove in and tried to figure out the game's rules and such rather than reading about them

MH: i keep hearing about these epic planets and complicated quests everyone is going on

MH: i want two dive inn

MH: when do my quests start

SS: you're on your planet are you not?

MH: yes

MH: i am

SS: well i just explored around to see what i could do

SS: all it seems all these quest are refering to stuff with time

MH: theres nothing on this planet

MH: ive walked untill i could barely see my house anymore, theres nothing out there

MH: just darkness

MH: darkness and my thoughts

MH: which are also dark but not as dark as the dark

MH: the dark is much darker

SS: have you conjuired up a light source?

MH: my kernel is kinda bright

MH: but it doesnt matter

MH: there is nothing for the light to reflect off of

MH: the only thing out there is up in the sky which is the same black as the grount

MH: a tiny distant little speck

MH: but thats all

SS: hmmm

SS: did you trying going to the speck?

SS: maybe that's your guest?

MH: i cant fly so no

SS: find the light in darkness

MH: heh, you and you're glass half full nonsense

MH: a light in the dark

MH: a TINY light

MH: nice one

SS: well

SS: you'd be surprised what one tiny little light can do

SS: but of course what could a drunk no good musician know?

MH: no less than a broken almost muderering sociopath

MH: anyway, the light is straight up and im all out of Marlots grist with no way to make more

MH: the light will ahve to wait

SS: hmmm

SS: but still

SS: don't forget about it

SS: give some good consideration to trying to reach it?

MH: ill try not to

MH: or some reason i feel like its the last place im ever going to get to

MH: for*

SS: pffft

SS: to be honest i don't even know what i'm suppose to be doing for my quest

MH: well what have you done so far?

SS: just some cave exploring

SS: i found some natives, consorts, that's how i heard about quest beds

SS: something about the rogue will know, the rogue will know

-- satiricalStrummer [SS] shrugs --

SS: just a bunch of nonsense

MH: you dont have to understand all information, just understand that all information is meant to be understood

MH: whatever they told you is probably important

-- satiricalStrummer [SS] takes a sip of some of fg's brew --

SS: yeah, maybe it's something that will make sense later

SS: holy this

SS: hit*

SS: *shit

SS: this brew

SS: i thinki need to take a seat

[rick-mage-of-mind]

-- mentallyHandicapped [MH] began messaging facetedGlobule [FG] at 19:26 --

MH: Tricho

MH: Tricho

MH: Tricho

MH: Fuck

MH: Tricho

MH: Tricho

MH: TRICHO

-- facetedGlobule [FG] is now an idle chum! --

FG: ohmfg hod what

MH: Its Marlot

MH: eye think

MH: I

FG: what abouuth im

MH: I think he's dead

MH: I killed him

MH: Shit

MH: I killed him

FG: HOLY SHHIT WHAT

MH: Idk hes not moving

MH: and hes beeling

MH: bleeding

MH: i think?

MH: fuck yeah he's bleeding

FG: WHAT TODO YOU MEAN OYU THINK

MH: I DONT FUCKING KNOW ITS BLUE

FG: SO FUCKING TAKE HIM TO HIS QUESTBED

MH: ITS BLUE AND ITS COMING OUT F HIS HEAD

MH: what the fuck is a quest bed

FG: omyfucking god damnit ididnt i tell you to ʀead the gogtddamned ʀuolebook

MH: aint no one got time for that shit

MH: except you

FG: okay okay ok,ay you gotta kiƽƽ him

MH: ok FUUUUUUUUUCK that

MH: n o

MH: noonnonono

FG: youuʀe the one who fucking killed him you get to ʀevive him

FG: if you dont ƽo hemp eme when i get to you you wont be able to ʀevive

MH: Shit

MH: dude i cant i CANT

FG: i willk ill you beyond the hope o fjany game conƽtʀuct ʀevival method

MH: this isnt oK

FG: wha tiƽn't okay

FG: iƽ you

MH: THiS

FG: killing MY FUCKING KISEMSIS

FG: FICX THIS SHIT

MH: dude i dont remember shit

MH: the last thing i remmebr is him throwing me through my own house

FG: im ƽetting ƽhit up aƽ whatƽ hiƽaƽƽholeƽ ƽeʀveʀpalyeʀ im going to beat you into a piece of nothing

MH: so idk if i want to

FG: I DONT FUCKING CARE

FG: WAT TEHEVER LOVING FUCK DID YOU DO TO PISS HIM HOFF

MH: I DONT KNOW

FG: fuckyou youdot fucking know

MH: I WOKE UP IN A PILE OF WHAT USED TO BE A WALL

MH: HE HAD A KNIFE

FG: of couʀƽehe had a fuckihing knife itƽhiƽ ƽpecibuƽ

MH: IT WAS REFLEXIVE

MH: i didnt mean to..

FG: idga f ill didnt meant to all oveʀ youʀ goddamn face ifyou dont fixd him

MH: ...

MH: fine

-- mentallyHandicapped [MH] corpse smooch --

MH: NOTHING IS HAPPENING

FG: waht the fuck tod yo umean nothing hiƽ happening

FG: iƽ he bʀeathing

FG: he ƽhould be ƽmakcing you in the face foʀ that ƽhit ʀight now

MH: no nothing happened

FG: nothing

MH: btw your troll blood tastes horible

MH: well

MH: wait

MH: wait no he's breathing its just so faint

FG: thankf fuck

FG: you idiotn

FG: heƽ pʀobablul jƽut paƽƽed out

MH: what do i even do now

FG: ʀoll him on hiƽƽ ƽide doent dʀown in hiƽ own bodily fluidƽ oʀ ƽoeimthing ƽtupid

MH: god damn he is heavy

FG: yeah notƽhit

MH: i guess i should stop him from beleeding any more

FG: imƽtill owe you a bʀuiƽe oculaʀ oʀifice foʀ thiƽ ƽhit

MH: are all trolls that strong?

FG: maʀlotƽ a fucking panƽy waht aʀe ou even talking about

MH: he picked my up like i was a toy

MH: before i hit him with a 2x4 i mean

FG: ƽpaʀeme the dtailƽ of youʀ halfaƽed ƽtʀife

MH: fine

MH: fuck i cant see the staple

FG: whatevn aʀe youtalkig about

MH: the staple

MH: i cant see it

MH: its so deep

MH: remember i said he was bleeding? Thats because i shot him with a stapler

MH: in the head

MH: witht he 2x4

MH: its complicated

FG: ugh godfuck do not thell me you uƽed ƽome ƽoʀt of waʀid human pʀojecticle weapon and got that ƽhit lodged in hƽ thinkpan

MH: well no

MH: staplers are for making paper stick together

MH: i just.... improvized

FG: you ƽttacheʀd maʀlot with office ƽupplieƽ

FG: i

FG: oh my god

FG: i cant

FG: deal with

FG: im alguhging ƽo haʀd im gonna bʀeak afucking ʀob ohmgyd

MH: im sure he will find it entertaining also

FG: jell no he wont

MH: oh

MH: well

FG: thatƽ juƽt makeƽ iteven moʀe funny tough

MH: jokes on him then

FG: ƽhity oud betteʀ hope i get ot yuo be foʀe he doeƽ

MH: i already almost killed him once, i think i can take him

FG: i fuckingtout

FG: betchyou all thiƽ batch of hooch you ƽuʀpʀiƽed him

MH: yeah, the limp body he pulled out of a pile of rubble by its leg got the jump on a 7 foot alien

MH: ok then

FG: nʀveʀ ƽaid itw aƽnt eaƽy to ƽuʀpƽie him

MH: still i wish i could remember what started it

MH: i just remember..... anger

FG: uhuh

MH: like every time i would think something, it got LOuD and MeaN anD EY DonT Know whY

MH: and then nothing

FG: hoyf uck i need anotheʀ dʀinko yououʀ making leƽƽ ƽenƽeƽe than uƽual

MH: How much money is that exactly

FG: howmuch money iƽ what

MH: the cents that i am making

FG: type yoʀu ƽhit out youlaƽy fucktaʀd youʀ pʀgʀamƽ ƽpellign thingƽ wiʀd

MH: no you TYPe yoUR shit better YoU wait. how did. I miss read that..

MH: eye cant bee ok

MH: if im making mistakes

FG: yoʀe ƽtaʀing two ƽound like that aƽƽhole pickled fiƽhƽtickƽ

FG: cut it the fuck out

MH: Who briney?

MH: dont be mean to briney

MH: what the FUCK is wrong with me

FG: awww lookait youall having feelƽ foʀ the fʀeakƽhow

MH: QUIET

MH: I'm not stable

FG: yeahon ƽhit

FG: gotake a nap oʀ ƽomething

FG: maybe maʀlot hit hoy in the head toohaʀd

MH: I'd rather not in case he wakes up

FG: oc ome on dued hed totally not wail on you utnil you woek up becauƽee heƽ got fuckig ʀetaʀdo blueblod moʀal code ƽhit

MH: yeah and i wouldnt care about people like briney because im a sociopath with no sarcasm

FG: thatƽ oƽome pʀetty metta ƽaʀcaƽm im actually impʀeƽƽed

MH: that was sarcasm in case it was confusing

MH: ok good just making sure

FG: bʀineyƽ a piece of fecalmatteʀ floting in a jaʀ of bʀine and moʀe fecalmatteʀ

FG: all heƽ good foʀ iƽ ƽpʀeading ʀoumoʀƽ and amkginƽ uʀe that ancient piec of ƽhit ƽhip doeƽnt hump an aƽteʀoid

MH: your spaceships reproduce with asteroids

FG: youʀe ƽtill juƽt aƽ ʀetaʀded aƽ befoʀe you ƽtaʀted acting moʀe ʀetaʀded

MH: so you are saying that i increased my retardness by a factor of 0

FG: yeah thata eƽactly what i meant

FG: you aʀe ƽtill a fucking ʀetaʀdo

MH: so even in my mentaly handicapped state i am in fact mot handicapped at all

FG: nofuck that noiƽe im not dʀunkenough foʀ thiat philopƽoiphiacal ƽhit

MH: then increase your drunkness by a factor of 0

MH: so that we can be on the same levekl

FG: imfucking done with you

MH: but im just getting started

FG: nope im dealig with leono and getting that ƽhit et up ƽo i can gie you the bʀuiƽeƽ you deƽeʀve foʀ being a dumbƽhit

MH: oh im a dumbshit?

FG: yeah

MH: im gonna go ahead and say that Marlot is the dumbshit for trying to kill the one person who can get him out of this place

FG: fuckyouu maʀlot wouldnt tʀy to kill youunleƽƽ you tʀied to kil lhim fiʀƽt becauƽe heƽ fucking ƽeʀiouƽ about winning thiƽ godamn game

MH: well he's gonna be disapointed

FG: aout whqt?

MH: the game?

MH: we wont win

FG: fuckyou

MH: you dont feel it?

FG: fuck

FG: you

MH: im serious

MH: maybe its the blankness of this world

MH: or the pain in my head

FG: and im ƽayig go fuckyouʀƽelf on ƽomething ƽhaʀp

MH: but i feel something

MH: and its telling me we cant win

FG: fuck that ƽomething too whie youʀ at it

FG: in fact you can fuckyouʀƽelf WITH that ƽoething

MH: you

MH: are a genius

MH: thank you

FG: youʀa ƽaʀcamƽ buʀn

FG: by which imean they dont

MH: no no thats not even sarcasm

MH: im actually thanking you

MH: you gave me an idea

FG: youhave given me a heacache

FG: and im ƽddʀunk but cant enejoyit becdauƽe im piƽƽed off

MH: that feeling. I can make it take a form if i can focus on it enough

MH: well thats odd

FG: lookdude idontwant to be pʀivy toyouʀ peʀveʀtedlittle maƽtuʀbatƽeƽƽion

MH: you're an idiot im doing nothing of the sort

MH: im just wondering why out of all things this "feeling" took the form of a cloud

MH: shit

MH: no

MH: come back damn it

MH: NO

MH: I WAS USING THAT

MH: damn kernel thing

FG: idnt know if iwant to know

FG: im faiʀly ƽcʀtain i dont

MH: My kernelsprite ate the cloud thought

FG: ƽo you juƽt pʀototyped a thought

FG: what

FG: thefuck

MH: or something

FG: im done

MH: now that i think about it ive seen the sprite do that before, when i first entered the LOTAD i think

MH: so it might be more acurate to say i prototyped two thoughts together

MH: fuck if i know what they are though

FG: ...

FG: im going to go get anotheʀ dʀink

MH: you do that

-- facetedGlobule [FG] is away from his keyboard --

MH: you do have enough motor skills left to walk, correc?

-- facetedGlobule [FG] has returned with another bottle --

FG: ƽuck my bulge

MH: only if you let me prototype it first

MH: for science

FG: oh my fucking god

FG: i have had it with you

MH: SARCASM

FG: im done

MH: STRIKES AGAIN

FG: i donteven gaf

MH: im getting good at this

-- facetedGlobule [FG] appears to be offline --

MH: Marlot would be proud if he werent half dead

MH: OR WOULD HE

MH: sarcasm?

MH: who even knows

MH: More sarcasm because of course i know

MH: HAH

MH: im so broken,,,,,

FG: yeah no ƽhit

MH: um

MH: my kernel is... gyrating

MH: is that a word?

MH: i cant even tell

MH: since i have to type shit for you're convinience

FG: im not even going to dignify that jab with a comment

MH: so in order to convey that you wont coment you decided to coment?

MH: please try to be more logical Tricho

FG: excuƽe me foʀ not having a weiʀd alien ƽenƽe of gʀaƽping conceptƽ with my bulge while whiƽtling antiquated wʀiggleʀ tuneƽ out my eaʀƽ

MH: did you just say that you are not good at thinking with your genitals or singing with your ears?

MH: you are more drunk than normal

FG: yeah no ƽhit

MH: wait why are you "offline"

FG: becauƽe i dont want to talk to ƽomeone obviouƽly

MH: thats kinda hypocritical isnt it

FG: you actlike youve neveʀ been on the inteʀnet befoʀe

MH: im just saying you hate it when Marlot did that to you

MH: shit

MH: does*

MH: shouldnt use past tense

MH: he's not dead yet

FG: dont think youʀe getting out of a beatdown juƽt becauƽe youʀe too dumb to know if a body iƽ dead oʀ not

MH: ok fine i accept that beat down

MH: but im gonna pass the beatdown for kissing him to you if thats cool

MH: since you presured me into it

MH: and i clearly said no

FG: itƽ a fucking game function why would i beatdown on you foʀ that

FG: no youʀe getting a pile of bʀuiƽeƽ foʀ tʀying to kill him and then making me think he waƽ dead

FG: oh and if you fucked up hiƽ face ill fuck youʀƽ up too becauƽe hiƽ face iƽ baƽically the only good thing about him

MH: the staple is in his hair. he'll have a scar but it wont be visible

FG: it had betteʀ aƽ fuck not be

FG: im the only one who getƽ to put ƽcaʀƽ on him

FG: got it

MH: sure thing, of course, whatever you say

FG: damn ƽtʀaight

MH: hehe

FG: ...

MH: oh lighten up

FG: ...

MH: almost everyone is almost alive for almost now so cheer up

FG: i will not be anything even cloƽe to cheeʀful until my fiƽt getƽ concupeƽcent with youʀ face

FG: and i mean that in the moƽt platonic way imaginable in caƽe that waƽnt cleaʀ

MH: platonic

MH: so

MH: we are friends

FG: yeah ƽuʀe whateveʀ

MH: best friends

FG: no

MH: the very best

MH: you said

MH: the moƽt platonic way imaginable

MH: we are SO best friends

FG: no we aʀe not

MH: YOU SAID SO

FG: i lied

FG: i foʀgot that you aʀe ƽtill aƽhen between me and maʀlot

FG: and fʀiendƽhip iƽ bullƽhit anyway

MH: we are friends and there is nothing you can do about it im sorry those are the rules

FG: have i mentioned that i dont give two ƽhitƽ about youʀ weiʀd human ʀelationƽhip modelƽ becauƽe i dont

MH: actually you have in fact mentioned that you give a LOT of shits about other cultures

MH: whats gotten into you?

MH: besides alcohol

FG: nothing

MH: well stopit

FG: ƽuʀe thing

FG: look im fucking woʀn out fʀom all thiƽ

FG: give me a bʀeak alʀight

FG: goddamn

MH: sorry

MH: fine

MH: ill just go

-- mentallyHandicapped [MH] stopped messaging facetedGlobule [FG] at 21:42 --

[rick-mage-of-mind]

-- culpableBean [CB] began messaging mentallyHandicapped [MH] at 15:38 --

CB: yo# mister pan#malfunction

MH: wHAt evVEN Due you WAnT

CB: nothin# much just sayin# yo# yanno#

MH: WHat tHe FUck iS a YANNo

CB: holy shit# marlot wasn#t jokin# when he said your pan was wash

CB: yanno# as in #you know#

CB: it#s an amalgomation of a couple #a words#

MH: EyE Hate you'RE tYPING bulSHITY PuncTUaTION shiT

-- culpableBean [CB] stopped messaging mentallyHandicapped [MH] at 00:20 --

[rick-mage-of-mind]

-- uncontainedMalevolence [UM] began messaging mentallyHandicapped [MH] at 23:34 --

UM: helloOo! helloOo! helloOo! are yoOou there?! can yoOou hear me?! i'm soOo aloOone! all aloOone! [SCAN INITIATED] [SCANNING...] [SCANNING...] [SCANNING...] [SCANNING...] [SCANNING...] [SCAN COMPLETE. NO VESSLES WITHIN RANGE.] there aren't any oOother ships oOout here! noOoboOody toOo talk toOo! my moOorail is soOo busy! there was troOouble planetside! but we caught that boOounty! soOo we're leavin

UM: g early! roOobert! are yoOou even listening toOo me! helloOooOooOo!

UM: my server player isn't answering me either!

UM: i want toOo play!

UM: weren't yoOou goOoing toOo give me soOomething foOor crustmash?

MH: What the FUck are you even talKING abOUT

UM: oOoh noOo! am i glitching again!?

UM: i thoOought i was making sense!

MH: SHUt up. You'rE not gLITchINg

MH: Now IS Not

MH: Not

MH: A good time ALRiGHt?

UM: oOoh my goOod! are yoOou glitching!?

UM: yoOou shoOould reboOooOot!

MH: How WOUld I FuckiNG

MH: That DOESn't mAKE sENSE you mORROn

MH: STOP

MH: what is it

UM: woOow!

UM: yoOou are such a noOooOokwhiff!

MH: what is it

UM: yoOou tell me!

MH: I ASkEd yOU aQUESTion dAMN it

MH: NO

MH: fuck

MH: just, what do you WAnt

UM: i wanted soOomeoOone toOo talk toOo! but oOobvioOously yoOou're malfunctioOoning in the area oOof the brainpan soOo i'm goOoing toOo just goOo soOoak aloOone!

MH: that miGHT Be BesT

MH: just stop

MH: STOP

MH: NO FuCK thiS SHit

MH: i cant

-- mentallyHandicapped [MH] stopped messaging uncontainedMalevolence [UM] at 00:03 --

[rick-mage-of-mind]

-- mentallyHandicapped [MH] began messaging uncontainedMalevolence [UM] at 00:18 --

MH: Heads up briney, you're server should be contacting you any minute now

[rick-mage-of-mind]

-- mentallyHandicapped [MH] began messaging satiricalStrummer [SS] at 00:13 --

MH: Leon

MH: you're service is needed

MH: mostly your computing device that is programmed to serve

SS: how can i be of service?

MH: I'm talking about you're server

SS: yeah

SS: what about it?

MH: There has been a change of plans

MH: you will connect with a troll named Briney

MH: his trolltag is uncontainedmalevolence

SS: alright

MH: hit him up and help him get set up

MH: he's real nice, just dont mention fishtanks

SS: ummm

MH: just

SS: i'm more of bird and bats kind of guy anyways

MH: you'll sea

SS: idk

SS: after dealing with FG for a while

SS: a nice person sounds great

MH: oh trust me, he is MUCH nicer than FG

SS: well i can't say much

SS: i'm an asshole too

MH: why do you say that?

SS: err

SS: i can be at times

SS: i went rogue for a short period of time and left you guys in the dust

MH: hey, listen, dont beat you'reself up about that

MH: it's not a big deal

SS: i know

SS: i just still feel bad that's all

SS: but it's great to finally be talking to people again

MH: temporaarily inconvinient

SOME TIME LATER

SS: he seems pretty chill for a high blood

MH: living for that long does that to you i would imagine

SS: ha

SS: i bet

SS: and here we are only being able to live til 100 if we're lucky

MH: are you two all set up?

SS: i'm installing the server now

MH: and eye supose you could change that

SS: could change what?

MH: the length of ones life

SS: i have the ability to

SS: yes

SS: but then i lose some of my own

SS: so i should probably use it sparingly

MH: you steal from yourself?

SS: no

SS: i steal from the enemy and distribute amoungst the team

SS: for a price from myself

SS: as you know

SS: a rogue is a passive class

MH: does the price have to be the oposite of the efect to the team?

SS: like

SS: ....

SS: hmmm

SS: use a rogue of life for example

MH: im just curious

SS: they steal life regeneration from the enemies and distribute that regen to the team

SS: but

SS: they cause a curse upon themselves

SS: the rogue would get the opposite effect upon themselves

SS: so

SS: it's a very risky and sacrificial class

MH: well thats unfortunate

SS: yeah especially being a rogue of time :/

[rick-mage-of-mind]

-- mentallyHandicapped [MH] began messaging uncontainedMalevolence [UM] at 20:06 --

MH: Hey

UM: helloOo!

MH: Blimey

MH: Have you decompiled the game yet?

UM: oOonly ages agoOo!

UM: it gave me a huge headache trying toOo figure it all oOout!

MH: but you did figure it out, write?

UM: duh!

MH: Good

MH: but I don't need Marlot's location anymore, or mine. I need Tricho's

MH: Actually I don't think tricho has enetered the game yet

MH: So you didn't knead to decompile the game code

UM: goOo ahead and ask me poOolitely!

UM: it's noOot like anyoOone has toOo ask me toOo doOo anything aroOound here!

UM: i'm just part oOof the ship!

UM: briney doOo this!

UM: briney doOo that!

UM: moOostly they doOon't even boOother toOo call me briney!

MH: what do they call you then?

UM: MalevoOolence!

UM: that's the ship!

UM: that's me!

UM: but i like briney better because that's what mitral calls me!

MH: Are you sure it isn't a nickname based on you're chumhandle?

MH: nicknames are good

MH: they are special

UM: yoOou keep foOorgetting that i am a ship!

MH: no i ahve knot

UM: whatever!

UM: are yoOou goOoing toOo ask foOor the coOooOordinates oOor noOot?

MH: Briney, can eye please have the coordinates to Tricho's cave-home?

UM: oOof coOourse yoOou may!

MH: Thank you

UM: 5̤̹̄̈̊̋ͩͥ̑͠6ͤ̍̏̉̈́̎ͣ͝͏͍̣̜̻̝̥̰̲̺x̰͉̔͋͗̉͟5̼͎̗͕͍̩̣̏͐ͮͪ0͕͙̳̯̹̭̥͕̂ͦyͤͤ͒͒͋̌͏̢̲̺̻̜͡3̸̢̼̩̳̞̗̣̞ͧ̏͗͆5̦̙̳̞͕͍̽ͩ͘͟ẓ̷̢̢͖̫̒ͬͮ̀ͯ

UM: that's it!

MH: woah

MH: why does it look like that?

UM: because his loOocatioOon is technically a part oOof the game!

UM: doOon't ask me why thoOough!

MH: but he is back on his home planet

UM: i knoOow!

MH: isn't that a seperate universe or plane or chanel or something?

UM: it seems like every loOocatioOon in reality is alsoOo simultaneoOously within the game!

UM: i hoOonestly doOon't knoOow!

MH: what about you're location?

UM: yes, oOoddly enoOough!

UM: but i assume that's because i've installed the game!

UM: by the way i need a server player!

MH: know, eye mean may I also have ii

UM: yoOou want my loOocatioOon?

MH: yes

MH: if it is allowed

UM: doOo yoOou have any idea hoOow much troOouble i woOould get in if i gave it toOo yoOou!?

UM: well, if anyoOone foOound oOout that i gave it toOo yoOou!

MH: do you know how disapointed i will be if i cannot send you you're present in time for christmas?

UM: what the frick is christmas?

MH: a holiday

MH: where humans exchange gifts

MH: with their friends

UM: weird!

MH: when will you be moving again?

UM: we're here foOor a little while loOonger!

MH: how long is a little while

UM: zettic is letting the crew stretch their legs and stuff!

UM: maybe a hundred hoOours oOor soOo!

MH: that is too long

MH: fine

MH: you're present will have to be a future instead

UM: noOow i'm coOonfused!

MH: i will give it to you once you have started moving

UM: yoOou are such a boOottoOomfeeder!

MH: why?

UM: saying yoOou'll give me soOomething and then saying yoOou'll give it toOo me later!

UM: tease!

UM: :P

MH: well if you want it so badly you could give me you're cooridinants

MH: but since you will not i have ti wait until you are moving

UM: i was goOoing toOo! didn't yoOou even boOother toOo read the subtext!

MH: because if you give me a coordinate and a specific time you will be at that exact cooordinate i can send it to you

UM: i'll get in troOouble **if anyoOone finds oOout** that i gave yoOou the coOooOordinates

MH: and you eill not give away you're position

UM: oOoh my goOod yoOou are soOo dense!

UM: i can't even coOomprehend the densness oOof yoOour density!

UM: 6̢̰̫̺̻͙̼̉ͧ̀5̳͍̗͖͎̭͔̖̥͌̐̄͐͒͐ͪ̇x͓͉͍̝͈ͣ͛ͫ̄̍ͯ̈̚0̨͎̮͇͙͕̬ͥ̃̉̓ͬ͞0ͭͥ҉̵͉͕̺̝̫̟̫̘y͖̙͚ͬ̓ͮ̆ͬ̿0̨̭ͦͩ̾̇̉̽̕͠8̹̤̣̦̻̦͕̒͋̓̆́z̨͎̭̞̱͔͐͒̐̅̀ͥͅ ̢͔̺̲̠̍̾̿̇̌̾̈́́̒

MH: the last time i tried to get you to break a rule you refused to do it

UM: yoOou can't see me but my gills are soOo ruffled right noOow!

MH: i didnt think gills moved enought o be ruffled

UM: i am banging my head against the glass noOow!

UM: yoOou are soOo dumb!

MH: dont tap the glass

MH: the fish dont like it

UM: doOone!

UM: doOone with yoOou!

UM: doOonedoOonedoOonedoOone!

MH: merry christmas

UM: doOone with yoOou!

UM: doOone!

MH: and a happy new year

UM: year?

MH: sweep

MH: well

UM: oOoh!

MH: like half a sweep

UM: soOo this is basically twelfth perigree's eve foOor humans!

UM: hoOow cute!

MH: correct

MH: i think

UM: why didn't yoOou just say soOo!

MH: well, tomorow is christmas eve

MH: today is christmas eve eve

UM: soOo yesterday was christmas eve eve eve!

UM: and thirty nights agoOo was christmas eve^30!

UM: yoOou have a weird way oOof keeping track oOof time!

MH: what would the day AFTER christmas be then?

UM: hoOow many days are in a human year?

MH: three undred and sixtey fife

UM: christmas eve^365!

MH: WRONG

MH: It's boxing day

UM: noOo fair!

UM: hoOow was i suppoOosed toOo knoOow it was anoOother hoOoliday!

MH: its no more a holiday that christmas eve is its own holiday

MH: i think

UM: oOokay i'm goOoing toOo guess that the subtleties oOof human hoOolidays is just ridiculoOous!

UM: and i doOon't care!

MH: it definitely is rediculus

UM: soOo when are yoOou goOoing toOo send me yoOour ridiculoOous human hoOoliday present?

MH: as soon as Marlot comes back from his anger walk

MH: he has the sendificator so i have to get it from him

UM: oOoh woOow!

UM: did he hate oOon yoOou!?

MH: um, he more like hated away from me

UM: oOoh my goOod! i knew it!

MH: its almost like he doesnt want to hate me

UM: he serioOously will hate anyoOone!

MH: that doesnt mean he is ok with this fact

UM: please!

UM: i haven't heard anything that woOould suggest he is even ashamed oOof his habits!

UM: just loOooOok at his hatelife proOofile!

MH: what usualy happenes in a troll hating relationship

UM: that's a really loOoaded questioOon!

MH: i feel like removing ones self from the hateful interaction to try to not be angry is not a comon practice

MH: if one intends to go through qwith initiating such a relationship

UM: foOoreplay! duh!

UM: flirting!

MH: ...foreplay

MH: no

UM: yoOou doOon't just jump intoOo a relatioOonship!

MH: this will not do

MH: Tricho will be upset

MH: eye have two fix this

MH: asap

MH: how do i make him like me

MH: as in

MH: the oposite of hate me

MH: he needs to unhate on me

UM: i doOon't even think that's poOossible! he hates everyoOone!

MH: there must be away

UM: just doOo whatever he asks! be like oOone oOof his mindless oOoffice lackeys!

UM: he doOoesn't seem toOo hate thoOose guys very much at all!

MH: wont that just iritate him?

UM: irritating soOomeoOone isn't the same as making them hate yoOou!

MH: but it is a negative emotion

UM: what doOo yoOou mean "negative"? hoOow is an emoOotioOon negative?

MH: i dont know

MH: it just is

MH: this isnt ok, i'm going to have to go

UM: noOo! why can't yoOou stay and chat a little moOore?

UM: alsoOo! what aboOout setting me up with a server player!

MH: the only server avalable is leon

MH: ill talk to him and make sure his server is set up and he is ready to help you

UM: awesoOome!

MH: ill let you know once i get a hold of him

UM: oOokay! but yoOou'd better talk toOo me befoOore then oOor i'm goOoing toOo be annoOoyed!

UM: it's soOo boOoring aroOound here!

MH: i understand

MH: i will message you showrlt

MH: shortly

-- mentallyHandicapped [MH] stopped messaging uncontainedMalevolence [UM] at 20:56 --

[rick-mage-of-mind]

-- mentallyHandicapped [MH] began messaging satiricalStrummer [SS] at 21:12 --

MH: hey

SS: hey it's been awhile

MH: lol yeah it has!

SS: how've you been?

MH: We've been wondering where you got off to for so long

SS: i got caught up exploring LOEAN and lost track of

SS: wait for it

SS: TIME

SS: haha ....

SS: yeah the time puns are still awful

MH: oh no I enjoy word humor

MH: they are my favoite

SS: i tried contacting FG but he seemed upset or mad so i just kind of backed off

MH: he is always upset and mad, it doesnt mean anything

SS: true

SS: so how's your adventure going?

MH: but it's good to hear from you again, we were starting to get worried Marlot and I would be stuck in the LOTAD indefinately due to Tricho's inability to make progress.

SS: oh ....

SS: my bad ...

MH: but you are back and that is whats important

SS: yeah ... i'm sorry about that

MH: don't worry about it. our problem is as much my fault as it is yours

SS: how so?

SS: i don't think it's really any of our faults

MH: The game creates each session based on several points of refference.

SS: just going through my land and the clues

MH: This is why you cannot have a single player session like I tried to create

SS: it feels like the game isn't trying to let us win

MH: there was only one point of refference which means the game did not fully render itself

MH: we are missing game constructs

SS: well

MH: specificaly the gates among other things

SS: we can try and fix it

MH: im hoping that by connecting with a fully functioning server it will "reboot" in a sense

MH: but thats where we need you

MH: you are the only one with an avalable server

SS: what do i need to do?

MH: four the moment, nothing

MH: it would be unwise to make any moves withought telling Marlot first

MH: he is already upset with me as it is

MH: but once he cools off and comes abck from his walk

MH: we need to reconect

[rick-mage-of-mind]

MARLOT: Thís ís not quíte whɑt I expected. I ɑm díscomforted by the lɑck of physícɑl ɑmbíence. Your lɑck of fɑcíɑl feɑtures ís just ɑs unnervíng ɑs the lɑck of physícɑl feɑtures ín thís plɑce.

Rick and Marlot face off: http://imgur.com/2Vbry,e0MQe

RICK: Merry Christmass Marlot.

MARLOT: I ɑm unfɑmílíɑr wíth thís pɑrtículɑr greetíng. Whɑt ís the culturɑlly ɑpropríɑte response?

RICK: you open the box

RICK: it is a gift

RICK: for you

RICK: to open

RICK: and "enjoy."

MARLOT: Whɑt ɑre the ímplícɑtíons of ɑcceptíng thís gíft?

RICK: what do you mean?

MARLOT: There ɑre few occɑsíons on whích trolls exchɑnge gífts ɑnd they ɑre ɑll lɑden wíth emotíonɑl connotɑtíons.

RICK: It doesn't have to be complicated. It's Christmas time and that means us humans give gifts to people.

RICK: It is just supposed to make people happy.

MARLOT: I suppose I shɑll ɑccept thís gíft ín spíte of my reservɑtíons concerníng such blɑtɑntly pɑllíd gestures.

MARLOT: So long ɑs ít ís quíte cleɑr thɑt thís ís not ɑctuɑlly ɑ romɑntíc gesture on your pɑrt.

RICK: It's not romantic, I assure you it's quite platonic. You are also not the only one receiving a gift, hence the Sendificator.

MARLOT: Ah.

RICK: Open it.

The Present: http://imgur.com/LrBFh

MARLOT: Whɑt exɑctly ɑm I lookíng ɑt here?

RICK: It's an earth plant.

MARLOT: Cleɑrly.

RICK: It's a small tree. We call them Bonsai's when they are small plants that look like bigger plants.

RICK: Which is what this one is.

RICK: I thought it was only right since I broke all your other plants.

RICK: Now you have something even rarer than your other plants put together.

RICK: and by rare i mean completely common on earth.

MARLOT: I ɑm fɑmílíɑr wíth the newfɑngled ɑrt of bonsɑí ɑs ít ís prɑctíced ín Eɑst Alterníɑ. I wɑs unɑwɑre thɑt símílɑr concepts exísted ín humɑn culture.

MARLOT: Do you hɑppen to know the nɑme of thís pɑrtículɑr specímíne?

RICK: No but I named it Tyrone.

MARLOT: Whɑt ɑre the requírements for ít's cɑre?

RICK: He is now Tyrone.

RICK: Um, water and dirt?

RICK: And light.

RICK: Which reminds me, it will probably die here.

RICK: Oh well.

MARLOT: It ís símple enough to mɑnufɑcture ɑrtífícíɑl líght ín the proper spectrum. All one requíres ís the correct fílters.

RICK: Yeah. Filters.

RICK: Where do we get filters?

MARLOT: I ɑssume you hɑve ɑll the phernɑlíɑ índígenous to thís gɑme. I should be ɑble to ɑlchemíze somethíng símply enough.

MARLOT: You do hɑve ɑlchemízíng equípment, correct?

RICK: Yes I have the game constructs.

MARLOT: Good.

RICK: I don't have any grist though.

MARLOT: Then ít ís quíte fortunɑte thɑt I cɑptchɑlogued some before pɑssíng through the gɑte.

RICK: Well that's convinient.

MARLOT: I stríve to be prepɑred for such forseeɑble ínconveníences.

RICK: You would have been a good boyscout.

MARLOT: I hɑve no ídeɑ whɑt you meɑn. We should díscuss how we ɑre to secure ɑccess the next gɑte.

RICK: Yes.

RICK: About that.

RICK: There is no gate.

MARLOT: Whɑt?

RICK: There are no gates, no monsters, no other planets, no nothing.

MARLOT: You fɑíled to mentíon the lɑck of gɑtes. I would hɑve ɑssumed the ɑppeɑrɑnce of one ɑfter the sessíon merger.

MARLOT: I should not hɑve.

MARLOT: Dɑmn.

RICK: It would seem not. Though the sessions are not fully merged.

RICK: It is POSSIBLE that the addition of a fully functional server to my half of the session can repair it.

MARLOT: I ɑm more thɑn díspleɑsed by the thought thɑt I míght be confíned to your destítute plɑnet untíl Trícho ɑchíeves somethíng more ɑrduous thɑn moderɑtíng ɑn íll-used forum.

RICK: It's not so bad, time passes much faster here than it will for Tricho.

MARLOT: You mɑy be greɑtly underestímɑtíng Trícho's ɑbílíty to procrɑstínɑte. It ís not possíble to procrɑstínɑte more thoroughly thɑn Trícho. He ís quíte símply the best ɑt procrɑstínɑtíng.

RICK: Do not worry, he will get moving once we tell him that he is indeed the one preventing progress as I said he would be.

MARLOT: So long ɑs you do not phrɑse ít ɑs some rídículous rescue míssíon. I would much rɑther cull myself thɑn be subjected to the humílíɑtíon of hɑvíng thɑt slovenly cretín come to my ɑíd ín such ɑ clíche mɑnner.

RICK: You would rather him not be your knight in shining armor?

RICK: That makes sense seeing as you already have armor yourself.

MARLOT: I mɑy regurgítɑte my mídníght meɑl ɑt the mere thought of somthíng so outlɑndísh.

RICK: Well don't worry, I was thinking it would be more of an insulting "I told you so" rather than a request or plea.

RICK: You can keep your food inside you.

MARLOT: I hɑd no íntentíon of ɑctuɑlly doíng so. It wɑs merely ɑn exɑggerɑtíon.

RICK: So then you do not find the thought of Tricho rescuing you as outlandish as you had said.

MARLOT: It ís more thɑn rídículous. However, I do not líterɑlly feel the need to empty my dígestíon sɑck over ít. It wɑs ɑ turn of phrɑse.

RICK: Tricho has done so from the thought of having a Morail, does that mean he finds those things even more Upsetting that you do?

MARLOT: I do not tɑke your meɑníng.

RICK: Never mind, don't worry about it.

MARLOT: No. You wíll not retrɑct your stɑtement on the grounds of unclɑríty. Rephrɑse whɑt you íntended to sɑy.

RICK: You say thins to make it seem like you hate people but they are actually false.

RICK: You may hate everything but to do not hate it as completely as you make it seem.

RICK: Otherwise you would have tossed your lunch when I mentioned Tricho saving you just like Tricho did when I mentioned he and Leon getting all buddie buddie.

RICK: Tricho is sincere about things, you are not. You say things for effect, but nothing more.

MARLOT: You could not be fɑrther from the truth íf you rɑn ín the opposíte dírectíon untíl the end of your nɑturɑl lífe.

MARLOT: There ís nothíng síncere ɑbout Trícho.

MARLOT: Hís very exhístɑnce ís ɑ contínuɑl ɑffront to honesty.

RICK: Is that true?

RICK: Or are you exaggerating.

MARLOT: I ɑm not ín the mood for your ɑshen solícítɑtíons, Ríck.

RICK: You are dodging the question. You are a bad liar Marlot.

RICK: But that is not a bad thing.

MARLOT: I ɑm goíng to wɑlk for ɑn índetermínɑte dístɑnce wíth the íntentíon of seperɑtíng myself from your ínfuríɑtíng presence before I do somethíng I mɑy regret.

RICK: Try not to get too lost. Message me if you need to and I will direct you back.

[rick-mage-of-mind]

I took you're advice Tricho and tried two make some brain food.

Turns out eye can only make things that are green. Odd isn't it? 

[rick-mage-of-mind]

-- mentallyHandicapped [MH] began messaging arbitraryBotanist [AB] at 19:34 --

MH: What the fuck are you even reading??

AB: Nothíng thɑt concerns you.

MH: actualy

MH: it does concern me

MH: almost

MH: in an alarming way

MH: eye am concerned

AB: Oh, good god.

MH: you must stop this nonsense

MH: save you're blackrom for Tricho

AB: You must hɑve bɑshed your heɑd ɑgɑínst somethíng hɑrd ín the recent pɑst becɑuse ít seems you ɑre under the ímpressíon thɑt I wíll heed your stern lecture ɑbout my devíɑnt tendɑncíes.

AB: Trícho ís well ɑwɑre of them.

MH: so you admit that they are devient in nature

AB: I ɑm hɑrdly beholden to explɑín my lífe choíces to ɑ humɑn ínfɑnt. Much less to one who hɑs ɑssumed the roll of ɑn unwɑnted ɑuspíce.

MH: when you say he is aware of them what does that mean exactly

AB: It meɑns exɑctly whɑt I sɑíd.

MH: yes but how does he fel or not feel about them

AB: Thɑt ís ɑ very complex questíon. You hɑd best ɑsk hím yourself.

MH: fine

MH: but if you have the time to browse such websites eye assume it means you are finished on this plannet?

AB: Your ɑssumptíon ís not íncorrect. I hɑve, to my knowlege, completed ɑll of the mínor quests requíred to progress to the next level of gɑme plɑy.

AB: I hɑve yet to fínísh the lɑrgest of the tɑsks whích promíses to be quíte ɑrduous. I ɑm regɑíníng my strength for the venture.

MH: well, I've been buisy as well

MH: I've reached the final gate

MH: http://i.imgur.com/KehiN.jpg

AB: I cɑn see ít cleɑrly enough from my posítíon. It ís quíte ímpressíve.

MH: wiow thats high praise coming from you

AB: It ís ímpressívely wɑsteful.

MH: It it the physical SBURB monument to you're grandure

MH: Poorly constructed and wastefull

AB: I wonder íf you wíll hɑve the wherewíthɑl to sɑy ɑs much to my fɑce.

MH: anyway, im sure you've aquired quite a bit of usefull items on you're quests

AB: Of course I hɑve.

MH: have you found anything allong the lines of a

MH: Send-if-eh-cater

AB: I ɑm unsure. Allow me ɑ moment to check my syllɑdex.

AB: It ɑppeɑrs thɑt I do posess ɑ sendífícɑtor.

MH: let me have it

AB: You ɑre welcome to ít just ɑs soon ɑs I hɑve ɑrríved.

MH: you cant send it to me now?

AB: Thɑt would requíre the creɑtíon of ɑ second, lɑrger, sendífícɑtor. I ɑm loɑth to engɑge ín such rídículous redundɑncy.

MH: no it wood not

AB: I wíll be ín LOTAD soon enough.

MH: why not set the coordinates of the object to the location of the sendificator itself

AB: Thɑt would requíre the use of ɑn ɑpírífyer whích I do not posess.

MH: ... oh

AB: I wíll be only hɑlf ɑ dozen hours from my perspectíve. Surely you cɑn wɑít thɑt long.

MH: fine eye can wait 6 seconds

AB: If you wíll excuse me, I hɑve ɑ quest to complete.

-- arbitraryBotanist [AB] has changed his mood to BUSY --

-- mentallyHandicapped [MH] stopped messaging arbitraryBotanist [AB] at 22:44 --

[rick-mage-of-mind]

-- uncontainedMalevolence [UM] began messaging mentallyHandicapped [MH] at 23:59 --

UM: soOooOooOooOooOooOooOo?

MH: finding an rp group

MH: shit wrong box

UM: loOol

MH: you snuck up on my

UM: boOooOo!

UM: hehehe!

UM: tell me what's new!

MH: well

MH: im still Rick

MH: and im still alone

MH: and its almost christmass

MH: do you have christmass on your ship?

UM: what's christmas?

MH: it's a holiday

UM: and I thoOought yoOour name was RoOobert!

MH: no that was me testing you when you rebooted

MH: testign a hypothesis

UM: Right!

UM: anyway yoOou missed the poOoint!

UM: give me the scoOooOop!

MH: well hardly anythign has changed

MH: but i am in need of assitance

UM: uuuugh! boOoring!

UM: oh?

MH: yes

UM: doOo tell!

MH: i have items to deliver and no way to deliver them

MH: Tricho tells me eye knead a "sendificator"

UM: that soOounds like soOome kind oOof wacky game terminoOoloOogy!

UM: i have noOo idea what yoOou're talking aboOout!

MH: so you don't have one

UM: noOope!

MH: thats towo bad

MH: one of the gifts is for you

UM: really!?

MH: yes

UM: that's soOo adoOorable!

UM: but i proOobably coOouldn't use whatever it is anyway!

MH: it isnt for using

MH: its for looking

UM: oOoh!? noOow i'm curioOous!

MH: well i wont tell you what it is, that would ruin the surprise

UM: blurble!

UM: anyway!

MH: the present is ready, as soon as i have a way to send it to you i will

UM: coOooOol!

MH: do you have any ideas?

UM: just use the imperial parcel service like everyoOone else in the civilized woOorld!

MH: i would not say i am in the "civilized world" anymore

MH: in a very litteral sense

UM: oOoh, well!

MH: i just thoguht of something

MH: at some point i will have to figure out where i am so that someone can send me the sendificator

MH: can you help me?

UM: yoOou need me toOo help yoOou figure oOout where yoOou are?

UM: are yoOou loOost?

UM: is yoOour navigatioOon system malfunctioOoning?

MH: yes, i need my coordinates

UM: i have noOo clue where yoOou are!

MH: you can't track my signal?

UM: i can give yoOou yoOour coOomputer's IP address!

UM: it's really, really weird!

MH: well thats a start

MH: what is it?

UM: IP addresses are noOot suppoOosed toOo loOooOok like that!

MH: what does it look like?

UM: 4͕͚̜͙͍̬̆́͘͠ͅ8̜̳̫̖̜ͧ͐̚7̰̺͓ͩ̈́̆͌.̺̰̦̈́ͧͪͩͩ͒9̵̶̟͎̜̜̅͊͌̎̄̍̑8ͥ͌ͨ̌̑ͭ̉͛҉̫̠.̡̨̼͖ͤͤͅ2̡͔͍͕͖̥̭͉̳͑̇̉̚͢3̢̠̙̹̩̮̓̆̇͊͛͌͜͝7̵̧̳͔͖͙̄͐ͮͥ̚̕.̼̤͓̻̲͇̱̪͑̓̆͌ͫͥ̅ͪ͝2̠͍̤͚̜̩͊̔̇̄

MH: fuck

MH: what

MH: even is that

UM: that's yoOour IP address!

MH: can you do me another favor?

UM: maybe!

MH: its a bit sneaky

UM: i'm listening!

MH: but eye want you to look up the IP adress from Marlot's most recent conversation with "captain"

MH: not conversation, just the IP adress

UM: hmm! this is boOorderline meddling!

UM: but!

MH: boarderline but not actually

UM: since it's aboOout delivering presents foOor soOome weird oOoccasioOon!

MH: its allso about science

MH: i have a hippothesis

UM: yoOou make that woOord feel dirty soOomehoOow!

UM: ugh!

MH: ill be sure to clean it next time

UM: that's noOot hoOow it woOorks!

MH: then how does it work

UM: oOoh my goOod!

UM: marloOot's address is weird toOooOo!

UM: 5̢̜̟̰́̈́̆̏̄̉̈́7̸̨̳̩̬̟̼̘͆̊̽̇ͮ̋͟9̳̻̩͙̳̖̍̈ͬ͆̀͟.ͮ̌͒̊̌͠҉̳͕4̷̼̈́͛̂͊̈́͊͐ͪ͆͠9ͯ͐͌ͬͮ͗̈́͏̠̭̝̱͕̻̀͞.̸̵̢̱̝͉̜̝̿̈ͫͤ͛̓̃̊3̓͒͆̋̍͂͏͙̼̲̲͞8̜̮̼͔͇̰ͧ͛͠3̹̖͔̰̩̠̞̻̐̄͂͡.̷͍͈̜͚̜͖ͬ̄ͅ6̐͊̔̂̊̀ͤͩ҉̨͖̜̟̳͜

MH: it must be the game

MH: and you are positive there is no way you can get locations out of either of these?

UM: if i knew hoOow this game designates coOooOordinates i coOould draw yoOou a freaking map!

UM: but i doOont!

MH: what if i sent you the source code for the game

UM: that woOould woOork!

UM: yoOou knoOow i kind oOof wanted toOo play anyway!

MH: well then i will send it

MH: it will take a while though, it's a big file

UM: coOooOol!

UM: noOo big deal!

UM: it's noOot like i have anything better toOo doOo!

MH: except drive

UM: we're doOocked right noOow!

UM: this hangar is boOoring!

UM: soOo very boOoring!

UM: and moOost everyboOody's wandering aroOound oOoutside!

MH: does you're ship have an artificial gravity thing?

UM: duh!

MH: you might try to use it to influence the gravitational pul of the plannet to mess with people and pass the time

MH: it would be entertaining

UM: yoOou knoOow that oOone fartnoOooOok in maintainance was giving me the stinkeye the oOother day!

UM: i shoOould frick with him!

MH: put him on the ceiling

UM: oOoh! i wish! it doOoesn't woOork like that thoOough!

UM: i can stick him toOo the floOooOor thoOough!

UM: loOoloOoloOoloOoloOoloOoloOoloOoloOoloOol!

MH: well you would have to recalculate the physics engine but i see no reason you can't reverse the artificial gravity

UM: soOomeboOody watches toOooOo much televisioOon!

UM: it doOoesn't woOork like that!

MH: just add a negative

MH: to the gravitational constant

UM: oOoh

UM: my

UM: GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

UM: yoOou're a genius!

MH: thank

UM: why didn't i think oOof that! it's the moOost simple thing!

MH: you just have to think outside the bottle

UM: that was a dirty poOoke in the gills!

MH: was it?

UM: have soOome sensativity!

UM: what am i saying?! i'm joOoking!

MH: im sorry, it was meant as a refference to you're pressent

MH: an inside joke if you gill

UM: i am noOot even the least bit preoOoccupied with my physical coOonditioOon!

UM: noOot at all annoOoyed by the fact that my muscles have atroOophied toOo the poOoint where, even if i coOould get oOout oOof this tank i woOouldn't be able toOo walk!

UM: noOot oOone fricking bit!

UM: noOope!

MH: but swimming is good excercise im told

-- uncontainedMalevolence [UM] is sending file photographicprostitution!.png --

UM: (phoOoOoOotoOographicproOoOoOostitutioOoOn!.png)

UM: (oOohgoOod)

MH: im not sure i want to open that

UM: that is what i loOooOok like!

MH: wait this is you?

MH: you dont even look alive

UM: oOoh! yoOou doOo knoOow hoOow toOo make a guy feel goOorgeoOous!

UM: yoOou spend a thoOousand years in a jar and coOome oOout loOooOoking half as goOooOod as i doOo!

MH: im curious

MH: how do you expect to play the game in that state

UM: hoOow doOo yoOou think i'm talking toOo yoOou right noOow?

MH: well i understand you can interface with the computer

MH: but that is only half of the game

UM: what doOo yoOou mean?

MH: the other half of the game is quite physical

UM: well, frick!

MH: unless...

MH: unless you could use your ship to play the physical parts of the game.

MH: im sure it wont be a problem foeever though, you'll find a solution when the time comes

MH: if you can lear to think Outside The Bottle at least

UM: yoOou are such a stoOonkfish noOooOok!

MH: that one was a joke

MH: implying that eventualy you will learn how to funtion outside the tank again

UM: just send me the game already soOo i can start figuring this stuff oOout!

MH: i am sending it but the file is huge

MH: this takes time

UM: i'm just noOot seeing any proOogress oOon my end!

MH: trust me, it's sending

MH: let me know once you have it

MH: i ahve.. something else to antend to write now

UM: oOoh, noOo! doOon't goOo just yet! i'm still boOored!

UM: the noOooOokwhiff is just crying all oOover the bulkhead noOow!

MH: im sorry, but this is too good to ignore

UM: noOo fun at all!

-- mentallyHandicapped [MH] stopped messaging uncontainedMalevolence [UM] at 00:59 --