rieeses - Tumblr blog

[rieeses]

"we're at an impasse," you giggled, slightly tipsy from drinking three bottles of soju. suddenly, there's a sudden pang beginning to form in your chest. pain.

jeonghan bit the inside of his cheek, still couldn't believe you two have reached this point. this was not the ending he imagined. yet, here you two are, downing alcohol at a beach where you two used to celebrate your anniversaries and birthdays. this place certainly holds a lot of memories.

jeonghan looked at the calming waves as it splashes the shore. then he looked at you, eyes misty, he nodded. "we're at an impasse."

[rieeses]

happy birthday to yoon jeonghan! my loml aside from jinyoung <3 

warnings. slightly suggestive? 

jeonghan is sulking. everyone greeted him; by everyone it meant that his family who called him at the wee hours of the night, his friends who even posted every where on social media some embarrassing pictures, and some people he never even spoke to his whole life greeted him on this very special day. so, yes, everyone wished him a happy birthday but not a simple ‘hbd’ text from his love of his life. 

“should i call them? what if something happened to them and i am just here sitting?” jeonghan asked himself for the nth time, staring blankly on the tv in front of him. he bit his lip while he checked his phone from time to time expecting that there would be a notification from you and so he would mindlessly scroll down yet your name was nowhere to be found. 

he slouched down on the couch pouting with his phone on his chest and his two hands clutching it. “maybe i should call them.” he mumbled, opening his phone and dialed your number.

“yes, hannie?” your voice can be heard on the line. jeonghan hears some shuffling but paid no attention as he finally hears your voice. he misses hearing your voice. heck, he always misses you.

“so… do you know what day today is?” he starts. he bit his lip, a habit he does sometimes when he gets uneasy. “you know what is today, right?” there was hint of nervousness in his voice. he then suddenly heard a clang! and his eyes widened in worry. “are you okay?!”

“yeah- yeah i’m fine. just you know, cleaning- ow!” you closed your eyes in frustration and jeonghan might have heard you cursed. “we’ll meet at 6, right?” you asked.

his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “you didn’t answer my question. but yes, 6 o’clock. at-”

“okay!” you chirped, interrupting him. jeonghan frowned. you’re definitely up to something, he thought. 

“are you really okay?” he asks again, trying to hear something on the other end of the line, some clue on why you’re acting strange. 

“ow! i’m fine. just get ready for later. i’ll see you, bye, love you!” you hastily ended the call. jeonghan’s frown deepened. he needs to see you right now. 

/

your apartment was quiet as soon as jeonghan opened the door. he expected for the scent of your chocolate candle to greet him, however, his forehead creased upon seeing thin smoke and whiffing burnt cooking. he cautiously walked inside trying to find the source only to found you in the kitchen, pissed and covered with icing. 

jeonghan is amused. 

“well, what do we have here?” 

you jumped as his voice startled you. you immediately stopped what you were doing and moved towards him. “why- what- you weren’t supposed to be here!” you exclaimed yet he paid no attention as he basks in the situation of your kitchen. 

the male chuckled and then he snakes his arms around you. “how cute,” he commented. he wipes the icing on your cheek and then licks it. “sweet.” 

you rolled your eyes. “i was just trying to bake but then realized i can’t so...” you trailed off as you shrugged and looked defeated. you buried your face on his chest and mumbled, “happy birthday.” 

jeonghan pulled away to lift your chin so he can look at you. “is that why you weren’t able to greet me?” 

“yeah, i got too invested in this and lost track of time,” you answered.”i ruined the surprise and gosh, i look like a mess.” you said as you realize the state you’re in. 

jeonghan’s heart fluttered. you can cook, alright, but baking is never your suit and you stated multiple times that you can never do it, but here you are making an effort for him. it’s silly, he thinks, that he was sulking earlier. 

“you don’t have to do this,” he gently said. “we can just spend the day with just the two of us.”

jeonghan then intertwined his hand with yours and tugged you towards the living room, “it’s okay, we can just order food and then maybe you can give me lots of kisses to make up to me,” he giggled as he sat on your couch, pulling you with him making you land on his lap. “you know, since you didn’t greet me earlier.” 

you wrapped your arms around his neck as you slowly leaned towards him. “maybe i should make it up to you, huh?” your lips now dangerously close to him that you can even smell the aroma of his perfume.

jeonghan’s both arms draped around your waist while his eyes flickered from your eyes then to your lips, “maybe you should,” his voice barely a whisper. 

just as he was about to meet your lips with his, you both heard a ding! sound. you stood up from his lap, making jeonghan perplexed by your sudden action. 

“oh, that would be the cupcakes!” you excitedly told him before you exited the living room hearing jeonghan groan as he tails you from behind.

“don’t whine! here, try this,” you placed the cupcake first on the plate before handing it to him. “i think they’re good.”

he huffed then took bite from the newly baked cupcakes anyway. ��mm- wow- this is,” he swallowed. “this is good! you sure you don’t know how to bake?” 

you smiled. “i called my mom earlier for this batch 'cause i don’t wanna waste anymore ingredients.” you took a bite as well. “oh, wow.” your eyes widened because you can’t believe you finally succeeded after so many tries.

“told you.” he’s now reaching for his second cupcake. “just so you know, after this, we’ll go back to where we left off and,” he took another bite, “maybe you’d like it better than these cupcakes.” 

“is that a promise?” you gave him a teasing smile as you crossed your arms. 

“oh, trust me there are a lot of things i would like to do to you, darling.” 

[rieeses]

you knew jinyoung. aside from him being in one of your classes, he always orders the same coffee everyday at exactly 8:30 in the morning. you’re curious how he’s on time every single day yet you never asked. you've seen how he’s attentive and always listening intently on lectures that’s why he always aces the exams. you don’t know if he knows you or at least recognize you in that psychology class. after all, you two were not really an acquaintance.

jinyoung knew you. you always slept in that one class you both share despite it being scheduled at 3 in the afternoon. he knew that you’re in charge of the playlist in the café he frequently visits. he saw a lot of times that you would sometimes read in between breaks so you can catch up for the class later. he notices you in subtle ways whenever your time is occupied or you’re sleeping.

aside from the café, jinyoung has also seen you in the library multiple times. he would sometimes see you typing furiously on your laptop as if you’re catching up on a deadline. on some days, he observes that you have been reading the same book for weeks, he assumed that you might be a slow-reader or it could have been because you are too busy that you never got to finish it. but most of the time, you’re just sleeping. he would chuckle to himself as he thinks you’re quite cute.

you also have seen jinyoung in the library. wearing his glasses, he would read a novel and then leave after a few hours. unlike you, he reads fast. you observed how he would read different titles from time to time. however, when he’s not reading, he’s in a rush. you always wonder why park jinyoung interests you a lot.

and that’s how it is. you both never thought that a day where you would finally interact would come. not in a million years until today. 

it was supposed to be a sunny day, however, the weather forecast might have been wrong again this time because it was raining dogs and cats just as your shift ended. you let out a sigh as you waited impatiently outside the café for the downpour to end when someone spoke behind you. 

“we could share if you want.”  

 you immediately whipped your head to find the voice. you almost widened your eyes in surprise to see a brown-haired boy with glasses, holding out his umbrella, ready to open it. 

you looked at the rain and the umbrella he’s holding. “okay.” 

jinyoung motioned for you to come closer and you both tried to fit yourselves under the umbrella then you both started to walk towards the lecture building. the silence is comfortable. you tried to even match his steps with yours. you didn’t know jinyoung found it amusing.

“thank you.” you told him as soon as both of you reached inside the building. jinyoung closed his umbrella and left it at the umbrella rack beside the entrance. 

“i only accept gratitude through a cup of coffee.” he looked mischievous when he said those words. at that moment you think he’s really something. and beautiful. “only if you wanted to, though.” he scratched his neck in shyness. 

you bit back a smile. “then i guess it’s a date,” you then looked at your watch and there’s only ten minutes left before your class starts. “see you!” you hollered as you hurried down the hall. 

jinyoung shook his head in amusement. “see you.” 

[rieeses]

“i’m sorry,” im jaebeom’s voice echoed down the hall. his eyes full of regret and sadness as he stared into yours. you noticed his hair is slightly damped and clothes stuck to his skin because of the rain outside.

there he was again at your doorstep, wearing his best apology. you badly wanted to let him in. heck, you even wanted to prepare a hot bath for him.

but does he deserve it? after all this time, you ask yourself. does he deserve all your love? is he worth it?

“sorry for what, jae?” you asked after a while, voice barely a whisper. “tell me what you’re being sorry for.”

the male avoided your eyes and looked everywhere but you as if he’s looking for answers. 

“i... i’m sorry for saying those things yesterday?” jaebeom’s left hand went to the back of his neck, “is that it?” he added hesitantly.

you let out a sigh, “i’m sorry too,” you crossed your arms against your chest. 

you saw how his eyebrows furrowed together and mouth agape, like he wanted to say something, but instead he nodded and pulled you into a hug. 

“it’s okay, you stormed out because you were mad. i get it.” he softly said while slowly caressing your back, comforting you.

“i’‘m sorry i couldn’t let you inside my home,” you spoke against his chest, eyes blurry from the tears already forming in your eyes. 

you pushed him off of you. you saw the frown drawn upon his face, but before he could speak, you spoke first. “i’m sorry i loved you.”

and then you saw the pain written in his eyes as soon as you let out those words. he tilted his head and jaebeom was even surprised himself that he was able to find his voice after hearing what you said. 

with much difficulty, he managed to choke out, “w-what?”

“i couldn’t do this anymore, jae.” your lips tremble preventing tears to fall down. 

jaebeom stood aghast at your doorstep. limbs feeling numb. throat as dry as the desert. “tell me you love me.”

he stared back at your eyes, looking for clarity and answers, and when you couldn’t speak, he let out a humorless laugh. “it’s just like that, huh?” 

you bit your lip. you wanted to say it back, but it’s too late now. 

“goodbye, jaebeom.” it’s barely a whisper, but he heard it. right after that, you slowly closed your door, not seeing the painful reaction of your now ex-lover.

[rieeses]

it was cold yet you paid no attention to the still open window in your bedroom. you rolled around the bed as you pulled your blanket around your chin to keep you warm, finding a comfortable position until you saw the clock beside you. it read 11:52. you were supposed to be asleep but your thoughts are keeping you awake. 

‘these thoughts are so loud.’ you reached for your phone under your pillow wondering if you should call him, you hesitated, but dialed his number nevertheless. after three rings, you hit the end button and let out a sigh for the nth time. 

‘what am i even doing?’  you closed your eyes and tried going back to sleep. after an hour you heard someone come in and you knew who it was. you always knew because yugyeom has done it a lot of times.

you felt the bed dipped and the blanket pulled from you. after a while, you felt someone snaking his arms into your waist. you felt his breath on your neck. “you know you can always call, right? and i’ll come. i’ll always come.” he whispered and you just hummed in response. the uneasiness and worry you felt earlier was replaced with contentment. 

“i’m sorry if i was-”

“hush, let’s sleep.” he interrupted you and you felt his arms tighten around your waist. silence then followed as you both closed your eyes and fell asleep into the night.