riftleague

[riftleague]

Chap. 22

"So you're me, but from another universe?" Emperor Luke Iannone asked, he wanted nothing more than to finally talk to himself about tat like this. "Absa FRIKIN lutely!" Rift Luke replied, "A universe where you live in a basement collecting every arcade machine and console from 2006 and earlier!" The two Continued to talk about old video games, which escalated to string theory and quantum mechanics. Both Jacks, Connor, and Jesse we're still trying to locate the Time-Space Point and the Aztec stones. Present was merely fascinated by Emperor Luke's swivel chair. "Asah dude!" Emperor Jesse exclaimed, "Two large energy readings over by the old Kennedy Space Center in Murica!" Connor cocked his shotgun, "Well? Are we gonna do sumthin'? Or do Jack sh*t?!" ~~~~~~~~~~ Illuminati tower. "So you have armor made of a material called Zephium? Sounds pretty f**ked up to me." Other Luke said. Zalzok had his helmet under his arm, and wore a Stern face, "Says the guy with no redeeming qualities and had every bone in his body broken by Barron Von Nerdicus!" Other Luke swung his fist at Zalzok, who grabbed his fist and pushed him back a few feet. "EEEEEEENOUGH OV ZIS!" Leutenant Hammerman exclaimed in his German accent as he entered the room. The two snapped straight like two 5 year olds fighting, and caught by their mothers. "Zis sh*t iz getting out OV hand. You two better make peace or you vill kill each other. Our great King and leader Karl Mark haz given you two an assignment. You must travel to ze Aztec ruins in ze old Murica, and retrieve ze 7 Aztec Stones before ze emperor findz zem!" Other Luke turned to Zalzok, "Truce. For now." Zalzok placed his helmet on, "Truce. For now. Leutenant, what about that meddling Futuron?" "He shall be taken care of. I have zet a fake energy reading on ze Kennedy Space Centre in ze old Murica! He vont even know ve have the real ones, az by the time ve leave ze ruins, ze troops at ze space centre vill destroy zem!" ~~~~~~~~~~ "Alright... Luke." Emperor Luke asked, "my mechanics are almost done making your car fly!" Rift Luke just stood there, "Yo Frik Frik, you can do dat!?" "Well yeah! In fact, I think my mechanics have almost finished installing your hover conversion systems." Rift Jack turned to Emperor Luke, "According to my calculations, we better leave now. It'll take us about 5+ hours to get to America." Emperor Jack had a questioning face, "You're me, but you don't even know about one of our empire's greatest feats?!" "What's that?" "Why, it's the intercontinental hyperloop! It goes mach 2 and you feel like a content Sonic fan!" Both Luke's swung their fingers at Emperor Jack and said in unison, "Snoc fans are never content." The three emperors, Rift Jack, and Connor ran to the turbolift. Luke tried to follow, but was held back by Present. "What's wrong mah girl?" Luke asked. "I just want to know..." "Cmon, were grill friend and boi friend now. You can tell me anything." "Are we doing all this in vain? I mean, we fricking waste our lives in a basement, then nearly kill ourselves trying to grab some balls." "That came out weird, and we can't die." "That's just it!" We'll live forever, and see everyone and everything die around us! It's all pointless!" Luke grabbed Present's shoulders, "Now listen here young lady, your are never going to think about something like that ever again! Do you hear me! If that's what you think, then you need help! You can't think nothing but bad thoughts, just look at me! I think happy thoughts all day!" Luke did a wonkie dance, "Look where it got me! I'm Rick and Morty-ing to the Future in a Totally Excellent Adventure with my best friends and girlfriend! This is more than I would've ever wanted! And if you don't want to see everything die around you, we just leave that universe to run its course and find another one!" Present smiled. Luke smiled. The two hugged.

[riftleague]

Chap. 21

Read this first: @futeonias-defenders ~~~~~~~~~~ Jack, and Present were sitting on the sofa in Luke's "MAN CAVE" playing Halo Combat Evolved on the on the original Xbox. By the looks of it Jack was winning... As usual. "Frik it!" Luke exclaimed as the round ended. The shocking bit was that Present, who hasn't even been playing for much more than 2 hours, beat Luke by a country mile. Luke stood up and walked over to a mini fridge to grabbed a Dr. Pepper. But inside were cans of the Stop and Shop generic brand, Dr. Bob. "Jack!" Luke asked, "What the frikfrik did you do to all my Dr. Peep?" Jack turned to Luke, "You get drunk on Dr. Pauper, so I gave you a safer alternative." Luke grabbed a can. A crack was heard as the can opened. Luke let the can touch his lips, letting the cold liquid slide down his throat. When Luke hopped back onto the couch from the back, Jack and Present quickly scooted away. Luke had no vest on, no sweater, and no t-shirt. He was only wearing jeans and socks. On his chest was Australia shaped chest hair. Luke turned to both Present and Jack, "This tat is so much better than Dr. Popo!" The three laughed, but this quickly stopped. "You hear that?" Present asked, "It's another universal coordinate... Qh116?" "I hear the same." Jack replied. Connor burst through the door wilding a shotgun, "Come on bois, let's go f*** with Luke!" They all stood there In silence. "I meant other Luke." Connor corrected himself. ~~~~~~~~~~ "I assume you guys want some of this too?" Luke said to Jack and Jesse. "Well... Obviously!" Jesse answered, "Why wouldn't we want to throw sh** at Zalzok?" "Stop putting images in our heads!" Jack exclaimed. K.C. chimed up, "Sirs, there are 7 Stones. Maybe you can find the others and see if they do the same to you." "Great idea." Luke replied, "And we better find them before Zalzok does!" There was a security alert in the main garage down on floor 20 (suspended garage). "Great..." Jack moaned. "Come oooooooooon guys!" Jesse said, "Let's go check it out!" Luke nodded, Jack did as well. They walked to the elevator and felt the G forces drop as they plummeted to the desired floor at terminal velocity. ~~~~~~~~~~ There was a whole battalion of soldiers, species ranging from across the universe, surrounding the Intruders. The doors to the elevator opened, and Jesse, Luke, and Jack stepped out. Jesse walked up to the Chief, "Wa-Saaaaaaa dude?" Luke facepalmed. There are 2 unidentified vehicles in your personal garage Luke. Would you like for us to check them out?" Luke stepped forward, "No, let me handle this." Luke passed the holographic police tape and strolled towards the vehicles. One looked like a hybrid of an 80s Corvette and a Delorean, with time machine add-ons. The other was a 3 wheeler, with the same stuff on the back. The windows of both were so tinted it was impossible to see inside. "What do you make of it Luke?" Jack asked. "IDK Jack. It reminds me of that fiction that I made up way before the war." The door twitched. All the officers pulled out focussed beam rifles and shotguns. The door opened upwards, gull wing style, and a teenager stepped out. He was the same hight as Luke, and looked the same as Luke, but wore jeans, high tops, a red t-shirt, grey hoodie, and red bubble vest. The two stood there for a moment, looking at each other. There they were, before each other's eyes were themselves. "Frik this tat!" Both said together. "Are you... Really me?" Emperor Luke asked. "Good question." Rift Luke answered.. Jack had a similar reaction to his double. "Double double, dank meme trouble!" Both Emperor Jack and Rift Jack sang. Present stepped out of the car. All the guards lifted up their focussed beam rifles. Emperor Luke pointed to her, "What the Frik is that?" Rift Luke wrapped his arms around Present, "This is mah GF Present deh Mewthree. She's a bleep." Emperor Luke motioned to the soldiers to lower their weapons, which were quickly raised again as Connor stepped out of the car with his shotgun in hand. "WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH!" Rift Luke waved his arms around, "That's Connor! He's a zombie Hunter!" Don't hurt him, and he won't hurt you!" Once again, they lowered their weapons. "We're here for an object of massive power," Rift Luke stated, "It can destroy even the most powerful of enemies if you can channel it's power." Emperor Luke dismissed the battalion, then looked back at Rift Luke, "So are we. Howsabout we make a deal? You help me find my power gem, and we help you find your..." "Time-Space Point. It's like a geometric point, but has enough power to level a city!" "Right... That." Rift Luke stuck out his hand, "Trucy?" Emperor Luke did the same, "Truce." ~~~~~~~~~~ At the Illuminati tower in the Bermuda triangle, Zalzok was summoned to the throne room of Karl Mark. "You called my Lord?" A wheezing came from Mark's resparator, "Yeeeeeeeeees... I called because I have someone who might be able to help us take over the universe..." From the door Zalzok walked in came Luke, but he was different than how the emperor looked. He was wearing excentric clothing, and was inverted in color. He turned to Zalzok and stuck out his hand. "I know everything the emperor is going to do before he even does it..." He paused, "Strange isn't​ it?!" Zalzok shook his hand, his cold Zephium hand touching Other Luke's warm flesh. "We're both after something powerful, why don't we work together?" other Luke proposed. "NO!" Zalzok raged, "NO WAY! I DON'T NEED HELP!" Other Luke pulled out the Time-Space Point he had from the fight in the world of CupHead against Dr. Pootis. "This orb is more powerful than anything you can imagine. Think of something powerful!" Zalzok opened his mouth. "Forget it. This is better. With it's 6 counterparts, we can rule the world! Wahadya say?" Zalzok nodded, sealing a deal that might end the Futeonian Empire.

[riftleague]

Frick this announcement!

I'm going to take a break from the Rift League to work on this: @futeonias-defenders. Read if you want, it fully original by Me and my mates!

[riftleague]

Chap. 20

OK!!!! 20 chapters! That's a milestone I'll never forget! Thank you for staying with me from the start or if you're reading this when it's all done. Back to the story! ~~~~~~~~~~ Present broke out a big smile and hugged Luke and Jack. All the while a yobbish dirtbag was throwing yet another rubbish bin through a window. "Why are they so f***ing determined to win the races?!" Other Luke was enraged, "Are they..." His eyes widened. "They know it's here! They know! Well I can't let them have it!" Other Luke opened a communication channel to every soldier in the area. "All units, find... An object that looks like a fushigi ball!" The soldiers started to look for a fushigi ball, not exactly knowing what the frick other Luke really meant. ~~~~~~~~~~ Luke was under his car again while Jack and Present broke open a cold one. "Yo Luke!" Jack asked, "Are you modding your car again?" Luke crawled out from under the car. His vest, sweater, and t-shirt we're all removed from his body, "Nope, just a simple oil filter change.the Bricklin is still a car y'know." Luke tossed an oil covered car filter at the two, who simply stepped out of the way of the 'stain machine'. There was a final voice on the loudspeaker, "All racers report to the final event at the drag strips in the east. The 'Drag race portion' will begin shortly!" Luke and Present piled into the Bricklin and Jack into the McLaren P1 and sped off into the west. ~~~~~~~~~~~ It was a glorious sight. Two perfectly straight strips of street parallel to each other creating a simple, yet challenging race. And of course, Luke was gonna dominate. Luke drove up to one strip, and someone in a Back To The Future Delorean drove up into the second one. One by one the lights changed colour. Red... Red... Red... Yellow... All green... The Delorean sped forward, however it only was going at about 70mph when the Bricklin reached 120mph. This of course meant Luke won. This happened several times, leaving just two people left... Luke's eyes widened, "CONNOR?" Connor waved from inside a Ford GT, "There was nothing in The House worth investigating, and Scrooge Luke wouldn't leave, so I came here to drag race. And here I am!" Luke looked away from Connor and to his car. The Ford GT was definitely a fast car, but Luke knew it's downfall. "Did you refuel after you left the dealership you bought that Frik up from?" "No, but I hear these Fords have great gas milage!" Luke smirked, "Yeah, keep tellin' yo self dat." The lights changed red, then yellow, then Green. The Ford GT was definitely first off the start, but when the car moved about 5 metres, it just stopped. As we all know, Jeremy Clarkson had two Ford GTs. He returned the first one because it kept breaking down, and the second one ate fuel like Luke with a bag of BBQ Potato Chips. Lukr sped off knowing it was one of those things. Now obviously other Luke wasn't too happy about this, but knew the laws set by the first High Brovis ordered him to give the winning team the trophy. ~~~~~~~~~~ On the outdoor awards stage, the High Brovis stood at a podium with the trophy. The gold sedan gleamed in the sun's light. the Rift League walked up to other Luke with a smile on their faces. Luke walked up to other Luke and stretched out his hands. Other Luke and Luke looked nearly identical, which is why when Luke walked up on stage, the crowd was puzzled. Both Luke's turned to the crowd and unanimously said, "Long story!" Other Luke sneered at Luke and handed him the trophy. Luke smiled, accepted the trophy, and said, "U dun frik-a-frik-a!" Before dropping it on the ground. The trophy shattered and shards of gold painted glass flew everywhere, revealing the object inside. The Time-Space Point. Luke grabbed the point. Immediately the dky darkened, and it started to rain. As the crowd searched for shelter from the rain, other Luke pulled his mini crossbow out of his jacket and pointed it at Luke. Luke spoke casually, "I guess you killed the old Big Brother?" Other Luke nodded, and the whole crowd watched and saw him confess. "One strike from this needle..." He pointed at the bow, "...and you're dead!" Luke held the orb in his hand, then focussed on its energy. Luke felt the power of a million people, real and fictional, copywrited and OC. He felt energy from world's created by both the Creator, the big companies, the small writers, and those in some random fanfic. Luke felt the power of universes, multiverses, hyperverses. And with one swift blow, other Luke was sent to the other side of the field. The sky cleared up, and Jack and Present ran to Luke's aid as he collapsed. "Luke! Are you ok?!" Present asked Luke. Luke stumbled up to his feet, "We need all of these Time-Space Pinkys! They contain more power than a Saian, a Kryptonian, a Time Lord for frik's sake!" Jack grabbed Luke's shoulder, "Can you drive?" Luke nodded, and the Rift League drmatearialized knowing just how bad it could get if other Luke had all the Time-Space Points. ~~~~~~~~~~ Other Luke stood up, just barely though. Trough the pain of his fricked up bones he now knew the enormous power accompanied by these Time-Space Points. Power... That he wanted... Obvi!

[riftleague]

Chap. 19

The Rift League was laughing, while a certain son of a gun was throwing another rubbish bin out of a window. ~~~~~~~~~~ Present tightened her cloak, and drove a few laps around the now empty Nurburgring to get to grips with her car. She was in a brown Land Rover Discovery, with brown floor, and brown interior. For a car that had the full James May makeover, it sure was fast. Even for a Land Rover. "How'd I do?" Present asked Luke as she stopped the car at the finish line. Luke shrugged, then looked up at Present, "Well, you only drove off the track 4 times. A big improvement from last time's 7." Present opened the door of the car and jumped out. She joined Luke on a bench at the side of the track. She held Luke's hand and smiled. "I like this place." Present said, "I like how you can race anywhere, at any time." Luke turned his head to face Present, "What if I told you... You can frik-ing race anywhere?! I mean, you get Jack on a road, and drive. Easier than inserting an NES cartridge! Wait... That's hard... Blinking red led... bent contacts... Well Frik." Another announcement was heard over a loudspeaker, "All racers for the off road event assemble at the forest in the east!" Luke looked east, "That's The Frik Frik." He lifted Present's hand, "Shell weh?" Present nodded and smiled. The two walked to the Land Rover and drove off towards the forest in the east. ~~~~~~~~~~ Other Luke was sitting in his desk talking to a race official. "So I can't just f*** them up and b***h slap them into disqualification?" The official replied, "No sir, it is in the laws created a thousand years ago by the first Brovis." Other Luke nodded, "Mmm. How about just kick them out? Y'now, b***h slapping?" "Again, no sir." "Very well, I'll deal with them after the races." The official left, leaving other Luke at his desk with the sedan shaped trophy on a nearby shelf. He sat at his desk in awe of the golden chrome bodywork And it's strange ability to suck light away and give it a dark glow. He still didn't know however, and left to the live filming room to view the next race. ~~~~~~~~~~ "Alright Present," Luke said, "the rulez are simple. Drive through the forest, don't kill foxes and make it out first plz!" "I don't wanna make any promises I know I can keep." Present replied, and lined up at the starting line. "Here goes sumthin'." Jack said to Luke. "Isn't it 'here goes nothin'?" Luke then asked. Jack turned to Luke,"Let's hope it's sumthin' and not nothin'." Luke smiled. ~~~~~~~~~~ Present wasn't ready. She had no idea what was up ahead. But there was no turning back when all the lights turned green. Unlike Jack's run, she was somewhere in the middle of the pack, but sped ahead to 2nd place. She knew that one guy in front of her, who's licence plate was 'RCHRD HM0ND', was all she needed to get past to win. Suddenly, she felt the road get bumpy as she slid into a ditch. ~~~~~~~~~~ "Luke," Jack asked as Luke slid under his Bricklin SV-1, "What the h**l are you doin?" "I'm giving my car more *umph* than it did before. First of all, I can travel around faster, second, I can R.I.F.T. faster, and third, whatever the third event is, I've got it in the bag with this mod. BTW, R.I.F.T. stands for Run Into Frik-ing Trouble. I mean, that's what we do right?" "Yeh". ~~~~~~~~~~ Nothing really happened with the off roading segment of the Tri-Race. Particularly because it was just weaving around trees, ditches, and over turned cars from previous races. We rejoin our Mewthree in the final stretch, with that one guy who was faster that her still sticking up his favorite finger at her. Present observed that the man was short, had mangy hair, and a ring of hair around his upper lip and chin. Present saw a tree in front of him. She thought he would hit the tree. The tree passed by... But he was still there, and he passed that finish line far in front of Present. However, the man in front spun out of control and rolled the car over 7 times just past the finish line. The car then caught fire, and the man inside was taken by paramedics to a medical centre by truck. Which left Present as the winner. When Luke ran up to her and hugged her, Present had no idea what just happened. "Present... YOU FRIGGIN WON!" Luke exclaimed. "What? No? I lost to that guy." Present pointed to the medical truck. Jack corrected her, "Don't you see? He's out of commission! You're technically first!" Present broke out a big smile and hugged Luke and Jack. All the while a yobbish dirtbag was throwing yet another rubbish bin through a window.

[riftleague]

Chap. 18

<p><p> Luke looked around, reached into his sweater, and retrieved a box. On the box was Rick and Morty artwork, and the text, “Rick And Morty Season 4” on the front.</p> <p> “Tell no one.” Luke whispered to the man as he handed him the priceless DVDs.</p> <p> The man’s eyes widened, and he grabs the dvd, “You got yourself a car.”</p> ~~~~~~~~~~ There was a man speaking through a loudspeaker, “All teams report to the main race course for event 1: course race!” Luke, Jack, and Present stood by a gate. Jack was wearing the leather jacket the car dealer said was on the passenger seat. It was made of quality leather, and had DRIFT KING branded on the right breast of the jacket. The gate led to a deformed ring of tarmack people called a race circuit​, surrounded by miles of post apocolyptic wasteland disturbed by the occasional town or dead forest. The three turned and leaned against the fence the gate was a part of. Jack huffed, then complained, “If I knew where we are, or what this course looked like, then we might have a chance at beating our rivals. But I have no idea where we are!” Luke started to stroll towards a pile of ruble. Jack continued, “Present, do you have any powers at all? You are a Pokemon you know.” “She’s not a Pokeman.” Luke answered. Luke crouched down next to the pile of rubble, and pushed away dust and pebbles. Luke grabbed a piece of a brochure and walked back to Jack and Present. “Luke,” Jack asked, “do you even have a rough estimation of where we are?” Luke studied the rubish he held in his hand, “Germany.” He finally said. “And I can give you an exact location too.” Luke presented Jack with the brochure and pointed to the squiggly ring on the front. “We’re standing next to the friked up, son of a gun, dumdum, James May bane, all around hated, Sonic ‘06, no good, dirtbag of a race course… The Nurburgring!” The Nurburgring has a shape that is similar to that of a fishhook, wider at the top, and indentations and spikes everywhere. Hated by top stars like James May for ruining cars by making them perfect for the track, but terrible as a normal car. “Take this Jack,” Luke demmanded, “Take it and race with it on the dashboard! Make the Rift League proud! That’s the first time I ever called us that.” Jack grabbed the paper, nodded, and walked into the ring. Present was soon to follow, and Luke nearly had a stroke when he stepped onto unholy ground, but managed to make it to the team display stage. A giant telescreen opposite the stage, inside of the track, on large stands activated. Other Luke in his white suit loomed tens of feet over the teams.his menacing gaze scanned the teams, and his gaze fell on the Rift League. He jumped in shock. “What is that team?!” Other Luke asked in anger? Luke was heard screaming from the crowd, “WE’RE THE ‘DRIFT LEAGUE’!” Jack and Present simultaneously facepalmed. Other Luke spat away from the broadcasting camera, then frowned an evil frown, “Who’s racing for your team?” Jack stepped forward, “I am! The Drift King, back from the dead!” The whole of 12 teams gasped at hearing this. Some murmuring was heard. “He’s a fake!” “Is this real?” “Didn’t he vaporise or sumthin?” “ENOUGH!” The teams stood still. Other Luke cleared his throat, “AHEM… As High Brovis of Whereverthefrickistan,” Some teams laughed. He was the leader of their world, but didn’t even know it’s name? He continued, “Let the race begin!” ~~~~~~~~~~ Jack and the other yabbos lined up at the starting line. There were two outcomes from this race, either Jack wins, or not. Jack hoped it was number one. Other Luke hoped it was number two. Luke and Present kept laughing and Whereverthefrickistan. The revving of engines could be heard a mile away, but Jack had a reason to rev. Jack had spent a whole of 3.5 minutes reading the launch confdol., A simple process in any car… That was'nt a McLaren P1. The stoplights that told the racers when to go changed colour. Red. Red. Red. Yellow… All green. Everyone’s wheels squealed on the road, but Jack and his launch control sped off. He was halfway down the first stretch by the time all the other 11 cars got themselves going. What Jack knew thanks to Luke’s paper mache gps was what the track looked like, and he also knew that the racing rules of Real Racing 3 were non-existent in this world when his back end was hit about seven times. He couldn’t let this stop him. Brake… ramming the moron off the road… Gas… A right turn into the hairpin… Gas… Left turn… More gas. Jack was now in the but bulging inward. On the sidelines… “Luke look!” Present pointed at a car spinning off the track, “Jack just rammed a guy!” Luke giggled, “Whereverthefrickistan! HA!” “Seriously, you have to let that go it isn’t funny anymore.” And back again. Jack had made it to the second straight. He saw in his rearview mirror another guy slide off the road and tumble away. The second bulge was just up ahead, a left turn, then a right hairpin, then another left. Jack swung his steering wheel to the right, instead of the left. He shot the wheel to the left and slid the car sideways. The front of his car now faced where he was going to turn, but he hadn’t even reached the turn yet… He was drifting. Though it may not look like it, Richard Hammond from the Grand Tour demonstrated that drifting is really hard, and for Jack to do it first try… Pretty fricking impressive. The race was long. And though Luke was a huge car fan… He frik-ing owns an obscure Canadian car for frik’s sake… He dosed off when Jack reached the WARSTEINER KURVE (real thing). Present, however, was absorbed in the race, and couldn’t take her eyes off of the cars. She grabbed the sleeping Nerd’s hand and wispered, “I think this is a date.” Luke opened his eyes a little, nodded, smiled, and fell back asleep, with Present still holding his hand. ~~~~~~~~~~ Jack had just drifted past the final hairpin, and had just the final straight to go. 4 people spun off the track… 1 had died. Jack sped ahead. He looked in his rearview mirror and saw no one was anywhere near him. “I must be a lunatic…” Jack thought, “but I really want to, so I’ll do it.” Jack pushed down on the pedal for a final burst of speed. He threw the wheel to the left and bulled the handbrake. His car spun around and parallel​ parked just past the finish line. Jack stepped out, gave the crowd a thumbs up, and leaned over and barfed. ~~~~~~~~~~ Luke reached into the glove box of his Bricklin and pulled out 3 bottles of Dr. Pepper and a small container. “Ayo!!!” Luke exclaimed, “CHEERS! To the driftiest driftie of drifting drifts! The Drift King!” Luke handed out the bottles. Luke opened up the container and poured two tablets into Jack’s hand. “What’s this?” Jack asked. Luke smiled, “Pepto Bismol.” Jack started laughing, then Luke. Present had no idea what he was talking about. Luke took a swig of his Dr. Pepper, then leaned on his car hood for sober support. “Hey gf?” “Luke? Are you drunk?” “Hope you’re frikety friked up and ready for your off roadin’ tomorrow. *Hic* just don’t get cocky and drive into a ditch.” The Rift League was laughing, while a certain son of a gun was throwing another rubbish bin through a window.

[riftleague]

Chap. 17

The man in the suit took a step to his right, and from his left came a man wearing a white tuxedo, with a black undershirt, and white shoes. His face was inverted in color, and had the same appearance of Luke.

The woman spoke again, “Please welcome, High Brovis Luke Iannone!”

Luke jumped back, “FRIK IT! IT’S OTHER LUKE!”

The village folk turned their heads towards Luke. Wondering about why he was yelling.

On the electric billboard, other Luke spoke, “As my first act as High Brovis of The House, I am going to host a 3 part motor race! Anyone who can afford a car can partake in…” He leaned over to a man in a tuxedo next to him, and asked him how many races there were previously, “the 500th tri race this century!”

The female host spoke again, “The winner of the Tri Race will receive the Tri Race golden-ceramic trophy!” The screen showed the other Luke holding a round, black base, approximately 6inches in diameter. It had a golden sedan on top, with clear Windows. Inside the Windows was a small, and faintly visible black dot. The time-space point.

The woman continued, “The last winner of the Tri-Race trophy has sadly been killed in a recent racing accident. We will all remember the Drift King, Jack Hoge.”

Jack took a step back, and almost collapsed onto the street.

Luke started to get serious, “So, evil me is the king of this world, and hopefully doesn’t know that the trophy is the shish we’re looking for, you… You,” Luke pointed at Jack, “can say your death wasn’t real, and you can take the place of your doppelgänger.”

Jack was sitting on the curb in shock of the news. He knew it wasn’t him. But it… Was, in fact, him. He agreed to the plan anyway.

Connor piped up, “If you 3 race as a team, then I can sneak into… What did badboy Luke call it? The House? I’ll sneak in and try to steal the trophy/find Intel of these races… If their rigged or not.”

Luke nodded.

“Let’s go find out how to do these races!” Present said, and the 3 walked towards a sign that said, “CAR DEALERSHIP” as Connor ran towards The House.

~~~~~~~~~~

“I know the thing I’m looking for is in this world,” other Luke raged, “BUT I CAN’T F***ING LOCATE WHERE!” He kicked a small garbage bin.

He sat in the swivel chair at the desk of the High Brovis, and picked up the triangular nameplate. It read, “High Brovis Luke Iannone”.

“Let’s just hope good ol’ Luke Mc'Frikzey pants isn’t here to foil my fun.” He spun in his chair and put on a derpy voice, “Oooooooooh! Yabbo Mc’ Frik Frikz here! Occas away! FRIKETY FRIK! 1980 something! Always foiling captain f*** pants for the sake of my gf!!!!!!!!!!!” He stood up, grabbed the felled garbage bin, and threw it through a nearby window, shattering the glass into millions of sharp pieces.

He took a deep breath, sat down, put his hand flat on his desk, spread his fingers out, and tapped in between his fingers with a large knife.

~~~~~~~~~~

Jack, Present, and Luke stood in front of what looked like a junkyard filled with cars. The three walked in. There was a stall, with a window, and a scruffy looking man inside it.

Luke held the others back, “Relax-a-chilaxy, I ‘goat’ this!” He walked up to the man.

“What the flip do you want slasher?” The man asked.

“We are new here, and want to know how this Tri-Race works.”

“Listen,” the man sounded like this was a waste of his time, “The first race is a simple, set course race. The second, is an off road winching event. The third, is a 5 round drag race.” He handed Luke a pamphlet, “This’ll tell you the rest kid. Now are ya gonna buy a car or what?”

Jack pushed Luke out of the way, “Just to let you know, I ‘DIDN’T’ die in a racing accident! I’m am perfectly alright!”

The scruffy my was startled by Jack’s presence, “Drift King? You’re alive?”

“Alive and well!” Jack replied, “Now how much is your best car?”

The man chuckled a bit, “You don’t wanna use old 'Rage Rider’? Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten your own car?!”

Jack smiled, “Take me to her.”

~~~~~~~~~~

The three were stunned at the smexy car that stood before them. A crystal-navy blue McLaren P1.

The man had a big smile on his face as he tossed the keys to Jack, “Your leather jacket is in there too, right on the passenger seat. As for you two,” he pointed towards Luke and Present, “What cars will you two slashers want?”

Present listened to Luke whisper in her ear, then walked up to the man, “A Land Rover Discovery!”

The man lost his smile, “You sure? That’s the best, and most expensive, off road car we have. It costs about…”

Jack interrupted, “Do I have any money in my bank account?”

The man pulled out a pocket computer thingy and tapped a few buttons, “You got more than 20,000,000 nolts in your account, more than enough for the Land Rover.”

Jack answered, “I’ll pay for their cars.”

Luke walked up to the man, “I’d like to use my own personal car for the drag race portion!”

The man waved his finger in Luke’s face, “Listen buddy, you can’t use your own car, it’s the rules!”

“I can pay for it.” Jack said.

“Money isn’t gonna do it Drift King. I need something more valuable than anything on our round earth!”

Luke looked around, reached into his sweater, and retrieved a box. On the box was Rick and Morty artwork, and the text, “Rick And Morty Season 4” on the front.

“Tell no one.” Luke whispered to the man as he handed him the priceless DVDs.

The man’s eyes widened, and he grabs the dvd, “You got yourself a car.”

[riftleague]

Chap. 16

"So... Uh... What kind of tat do ya like to eat?" Luke asked Present sitting on his sofa on his room. "I have no idea!" Present replied, "Remember I just came into the world. And when we went to that restaurant before we fricked with Dr. Pootis, I never got anything." "Well, we could always try Burger King. Or we could just go see a movie?" "Luke?" "Yee?" "I'm feeling that pain in my temple again." "Me too. It not as bad as it was when it started though right?" "Yeah. It seems to talk to me every time." "The pain?" "Yeah." "Me too. I hear... H932?" "Yeah." "Do you smell the stank of another yobbish adventure?!" "Let's go!" ~~~~~~~~~~ On an infected island, Connor sat in his nuclear bunker nibbling on a ration and sipping at a canteen. Outside he heard the sounds of zombies moaning, just wanting to eat Connor's flesh. He then heard a different sound. The hum of a motor, a car motor. Followed by the sound of electric humming, and metallic slashes. Connor looked up, and listened to the silence. There was a bang on the door, and Connor grabbed his shotgun, loaded it, and stepped toward the blast door. He held the shotgun with one hand, and touched his temple with the other, then moving his hand to the electric panel linked to the door. He pushed the button and the door lifted upward slowly, revealing Jack's shoes, then pants, then Jack's whole body, holding the Wii Saber. "You've felt it too, haven't you?" Jack asked. Connor nodded, lowering his shotgun. "We need to leave Connor, we need to see Luke and his anime gf." Connor smiled, "Let's Frick with them!" ~~~~~~~~~~ "Coordinates inputted yet guys?" Luke asked over a walkie talkies. "All systems are up!" Jack replied, "H932, just like you said." The Bricklin and the Elio boosted to 100kph, then dematerialized as all of reality stretched around them. The cars rematerialized in a cloud darkened town, the townsfolk shocked at seeing 2 cars just appear out of thin air. The Rift League exited the cars and looked around. The town looked like a dystopian future, with a checkerboard layout for the buildings. Every so often, one would see a large electric bill board, blabbering about pig iron. "Look at the telescreens!" Luke exclaimed. "Look at the sky!" Jack said. Around the town was a mountain range. With 5 watch towers on each one. The telescreens flickered, then showed a stage, with a man in a suit on it. A woman's voice was heard coming from the telescreen, "Due to the unfortunate murder of High Brovis Emanuel Richards, a new High Brovis has been chosen to rule." The man in the suit took a step to his right, and from his left came a man wearing a white tuxedo, with a black undershirt, and white shoes. His face was inverted in color, and had the same appearance of Luke. The woman spoke again, "Please welcome, High Brovis Luke Iannone!" Luke jumped back, "FRIK IT! ITS OTHER LUKE!"

[riftleague]

Chap. 15

It was the inverted Luke. “Surprise!” The door slid open and in ran Luke, Present, and Connor. Other Luke looked toward them and smiled. "To late d****bags! I have the third SPACETIME POINT and you can't have it!" Lord Karnage charged up his Sega Light Phaser, "You'll never take it away!" He fired his Phaser. Out of the barrel came a focused beam of blue light with white electricity around it. Other Luke swung his arm up to block, which put his gun in the line of fire. The focused laser hit Other Luke's pistol out of his hand and across the room. Connor stormed toward Other Luke, Game.Com in hand, "YOU GOVE THAT HERE NOW!" Caught by surprise, Other Luke hesitated, then reached toward a table and grabbed a random console. Lord Karnage jumped, "NOT THE SEGA SG-1000!" Other Luke had grabbed the only counter for the formidable Game.Com. He swung the large brick over his shoulder just in time to clash with the Game.Com. At the clash point, a bright light appeared. The two ancient weapons clashing for the first time in almost 70 years. The bright light intensified, then exploded, throwing back Other Luke and Connor. Where they clashed was the SPACETIME POINT, on the ground, just waiting for someone to pick it up. Present ran over to the orb and picked it up. Other Luke ran to her and held her by the neck. Other Luke tightened his grip on Presents throat, "Surrender the point, or she'll suffer!" Luke stepped forward, "Present... You can't harm us, we have regenerative properties!" Other Luke replied, "That's the smartest thing I've heard you say all day B***h! Besides..." Other Luke used his other hand and reached into his jacket. He pulled out a mini crossbow, with a large magazine of syringes. "Inside each syringe is an anti-regenerative cell scrambler, or A.R.C.S. For short. Wanna see what it does?!" Other Luke aimed the crossbow to Presents head, "Just a squeeze of a trigger...!" Jack held the WII remote in his hands, "My... Turn!" Jack pushed the power button on the remote, Then held A and B. Out of the transmitter on the top came a white blade of energy... Ok, a lightsaber! He charged toward other Luke. Other Luke dropped present and swung the SEGA SG-1000 toward Jack. "Thought you could stop me that easily huh?" Jack just returned a grunt, then pushed other Luke away and hacked or him again, and again, and again. Luke grabbed Present and pulled her toward a locker labelled, 'EMERGENCY WEAPONS'. Luke reached inside and pulled out an 80s styles watch. He looked at it, then saw instructions on the underside of the watch. "Totally rad!" ~~~~~~~~~~ A left swing was countered with a right swing, and a right swing was countered with a left swing. Other Luke pushed Jack away and charged toward him with a syringe in his hand. "Sweet dreams f***er!" As the needle was swung down on Jack's shoulder, the syringe was hit with a purple, semi-transparent beam, originating from Luke's hand in the shape of a 'TOTALT RADICAL' hand sign (basically he made a finger gun with the addition of his pinky finger). The syringe exploded, red liquid running down Jack's arm. It stung his skin, but he still had strength to punch other Luke off of him. A blue beam with white lightning surrounding it struck Other Luke. He curled backwards, then collapsed. ~~~~~~~~~~ Lord Karnage was dragging Other Luke's stunned body through a corridor with the Rift League beside him. "Well,"Luke said, "You two yabbos saves the multiverse from total Frik-ination!" And he pointed at Jack and Lord Karnage. Other Luke yanked his body free and ran towards the hangar his Bricklin was in. "AFTER HIM!" Connor exclaimed. Other Luke ran into the hangar and jumped into his car. His car drove out of the energy shield and tumbled into space. Lord Larnage asked, "Will we ever see him again?" Luke nodded, "That son of a gun will return. OH FRIK! I dropped my Dr. Pepper on the Game.Com!" "Oh no! I was going to transmit gameplay of Classic Centipede on that thing back in time to 2010s Earth via YouTube! Oh well, we'll see how it goes!" ~~~~~~~~~~ In the other hangar, the Rift League piled into their cars, and drove around the hangar until that dematerialised back home. "Luke?" "Hm? Present?" Present reached over from the passenger's seat to Luke's seat and kissed his cheek. Luke blushed, but knew a solid relationship would form... Present knew the same.

[riftleague]

Chap. 14, Part 3, Jack and Lord Karnage

Lord Karnage pointed to Luke and Present, “The core you’ll be looking for is the magic El Camino, I’ll go with the blonde to the Disco Ball of Power, and G.I. Joe will go to the… Third core. Now split up!”

Lord Karnage and Jack immediately turned around and made their way toward a door. The door automatically slid open and revealed a hallway. The two started walking. Lord Karnage stopped.

“What’s up?” Jack asked.

Lord Karnage answered, “You need a weapon.”

He turned and entered the classic game room again. He returned with a WII controller that had a wire trailing from the bottom to a battery pack.

“Clip this onto your belt.” He said.“ And only use it when we need it!”

Jack asked, “Where is the Disco Ball of Power anyway?”

Lord Karnage turned and started walking, “It’s in the second classic game room, the one that holds all the consoles. The one we just left held just the arcade cabinets.”

Jack nodded, clipped the battery pack to his jeans, and followed Lord Karnage.

~~~~~~~~~~

Jack and Lord Karnage were running down a hallway before they heard a loud BOOM!

“What was that?!” Lord Karnage asked.

Jack replied, “12 gauge shotgun. Connor must’ve encountered a Xenomorph! I sure hope he’s alright.”

“Me two. He’s the only one going for the… Third core.”

“What is the third core?”

“…”

Jack repeated himself, “What is the third core? Did you put Connor in danger?!”

Lord Karnage turned his head to Jack, “It’s a handheld video game console. One more destructive then the HyperScan.”

He paused.

“I sent him out to find the Game.Com.”

Jack thought a bit, then replied, “If what Luke told me is true, then if Connor makes it to the Game.Com, he has nothing in his way.”

~~~~~~~~~~

A door slowly opened, and the massive room it led to illuminated. There were shelves and tables and glass cabinets all around where you looked. They were filled with video games and consoles from the 1970s, 1980s, modern era, and some not even made yet. And there in the centre of it all, hanging from the ceiling, was a silver orb, lights shining off of its surface in every direction.

“It looks pretty safe.” Said jack.

“I wouldn’t say that just yet.” Lord Karnage said.

There was the sound of scurrying along the floor. Then there was a loud BANG. The hold for the Disco Ball of Power exploded into million of pieces. The Disco Ball of Power fell to the ground with a loud crash, and shattered, revealing a glass orb, about the size of your hand, with a small black dot at the centre. The black dot was so small, it could easily have been overlooked by the untrained eye.

Behind a table was the shuffling sound again. Lord Karnage activated his Sega Light Phaser and clenched the power glove into a fist. The scurrying quickly changed to footsteps. The owner of the footsteps stood up, and walked to the pile of broken mirrors. He grabbed the glass orb and pulled it out of the shards of the Disco Ball of Power. He examined the orb carefully, then shoved it into the inner pocket of his bubble best. He turned his head towards Jack and Lord Karnage and put on a tyrannous smile. Two Xenomorphs ran to his sides. He aimed his gun at Jack and Lord Karnage with his right hand and stuck up his favourite finger with his left.

It was the inverted Luke.

“Surprise!”

[riftleague]

Chap. 14, Part 2, Present and Luke

<p><p>Lord Karnage pointed to Luke and Present, “The core you’ll be looking for is the magic El Camino, I’ll go with the blonde to the Disco Ball of Power, and G.I. Joe will go to the… Third core. Now split up!”</p> Luke nodded, then moonwalked out of the room, Present following him. “We’re lookin’ for a frikin’ magical car! Jeremy Clarkson would be so proud of me!” Luke cheered. “Look,” Present said, “we have a mission to accomplish, and if you’re gonna goof off, i’m going by myself.” And she jogged ahead of Luke. She was way ahead of Luke, probably by 10 metres, but that didn’t stop him. She looked to his left and saw Luke moonwalking next to her at the same pace. “Pretty rad huh?” Luke asked. Present just rolled her eyes and continued down the hallway, which had bookshelves filled with games from as early as the Fairchild Channel-F all the way to as recent as Breath of the Wild. Present looked behind her ands as Luke was gone. She knew exactly where he was. She knew when she was going to turn her head back, Luke is going to be poking a cartridge or cd or something. Present turned her head back to its forward position and saw Luke holding a cartridge of MegaMan-X, “POKE!” Luke said. He turned to Present and smiled, Present smiled back. “Present,” Luke asked, “can we be honest about each other? Since no one’s here I mean.” Present looked a bit worried, “Yeah… Yeah of course. What’s going on?” “I’m a goofy kind of guy, you know that, and you saw me as goofy when we meet, right?” She nodded in response. “I understand you may not like a person like me. FRIK, you may like Connor or even The Doc… What I’m trying to say here is, I like you.” Present’s eyes widened a bit. “Will you be my girl?” Luke asked awkwardly. She answered with a smile, “Yes, of course! Come on, let’s have fun later. For now, let’s save a giant arcade!” Present was jogging alongside the moonwalking Luke as they entered a cafeteria. There was a loud BOOM and the sound of a piece of plastic falling to the ground. “LUKE! What was that?!” Present asked. “It sounded like…” Luke answered, “A YABBO IS OPENING THE LARGEST CAN OF DR. PEPPER EVER!” “Luke. It’s either a humans life, or Dr. Pepper. What’s it gonna be?” Luke was slurping at a can of Dr. Pepper, “Hard choice… We go back for the Dr. Pepper after we defend the arcade Kk?!” “Kk.” ~~~~~~~~~~ The two made it to a large door. The door had the Chevy logo engraved into its thick, tritanium structure. “This is it.” The two said simultaneously. There was a keypad on the side of the door, asking for a password. “We don’t have the password Luke.” Present said. There was a voice behind them, “I do. First, you cock the shotgun like this, then you fire it at the panel.” It was obviously Connor, and he just shot the keypad to smithereens. The door split in two and slowly opened, flooding the hallway with dense smoke and a bright white light. The light was so bright, that Connor and Present had to shield their eyes and Luke had to flick on a radical pair of shades. As the light dimmed, a room about 20 by 20 by 20 feet wide was revealed, with 2 things inside, a beautiful Chevy El Camino, and a Xenomorph. The Xenomorph snarled at the three, and charged at them. Connor pulled the trigger on his shotgun, but it wasn’t loaded. He reached into his tan military vest and pulled out the Game.Com. He raised it into the air and, with a loud war cry, brought it down on the head of the Xenomorph. The alien immediately disintegrated by the touch of the Game.Com. Luke pulled out his 1980s cell phone and called up Jack. “Hebbo, Jat, tell Lord Karnage Present, Connor and I have secured the Game.Com and the Magic El Camino. Rondeau vu back at the Classic Game Room when you’re done!”

[riftleague]

Chap. 14, Part 1, Connor

Lord Karnage pointed to Luke and Present, “The core you’ll be looking for is the magic El Camino, I’ll go with the blonde to the Disco Ball of Power, and G.I. Joe will go to the… Third core. Now split up!”

Connor nodded and ran to the nearest computer to find the layout of the ship. He found the quickest route and darted toward the air vent. Connor pulled the vent open and crawled inside, shotgun in hand. It was just the right size for Connor to fit inside when in a crwaling position. He crawled for about 12 minutes before finding a junction that led left, right, and up. Connor shined a flashlight to the right, then up, ten to the left… Which he immediately regretted. On the far left wall was a Xenomorph attempting to steal the third core, just as Lord Karnage predicted. The Xenomorph hissed at Connor as he raised his shotgun.

~~~~~~~~~~

Jack and Lord Karnage were running down a hallway before they heard a loud BOOM!

“What was that?!” Lord Karnage asked.

Jack replied, “12 gauge shotgun. Connor must’ve encountered a Xenomorph! I sure hope he’s alright.”

“Me two. He’s the only one going for the… Third core.”

“What is the third core?”

“…”

~~~~~~~~~~

Present was jogging alongside the moonwalking Luke as they entered a cafeteria. There was a loud BOOM and the sound of a piece of plastic falling to the ground.

“LUKE! What was that?!” Present asked.

“It sounded like…” Luke answered, “A YABBO IS OPENING THE LARGEST CAN OF DR. PEPPER EVER!”

“Luke. It’s either a humans life, or Dr. Pepper. What’s it gonna be?”

Luke was slurping at a can of Dr. Pepper, “Hard choice… We go back for the Dr. Pepper after we defend the arcade Kk?!”

“Kk.”

~~~~~~~~~~

The Xenomorph charged at Connor with immense speed. Connor pointed his shotgun at it.

“Surprise F***er!”

There was a loud BOOM. The body of the Xenomorph banged on the bottom of the air vent.

“Just got a few yards to go. I hope I made it in time.”

Connor spaced his arms and legs out to support his accent up the air vent. He inched up foot by foot, until it levelled out. Back to a crawling position, Connor shuffled metre by metre through the air vent. He felt the opening underneath him and jumped inside. He was in a large room, on a large bridge, with nothing down or up but darkness other than the vent, a spoopy clanking noise every 2 seconds or so, and a large pillar. The pillar was 5 feet in diameter, and had a glass windows that wrapped around it. Inside was the third core, but it wasn’t what Connor wanted to come out of the adventure.

“D**n!” He said, “A fricking Game.Com?!?!?! What the frick!”

He looked to his left, then his right. He saw no one and nothing. The darkness and clanking noise added and Erie vibe to the whole ship. Even a playful arcade in the middle of space had to have its spookiness factor somewhere.

“No one’s here, I better go rejoin with Luke and Wiafu. After all, they are the most vulnerable. But first…”

Connor walked up to the glass window and stared at it. He drew his fist back behind him and self it flying through the window, shattering the glass. He shook his hand and grabbed the Game.Com, shoving it into his pocket.

“I’ll need that. If what Luke told me about Classic Game Room was true, then this piece of s**t is great for hitting people over the head and knocking them out.”

Connor jumped back into the air vent and crawled his way back to Luke and Present.

[riftleague]

Chap. 13

When Luke was just about to reach the masterpiece of hardware, Lord Karnage stepped in front of Luke with a SEGA Master System Light Phaser in his hand pointed at Luke. He turned the battery it was plugged into on and said, “What in Truxton’s name are you doing invading the Intergalactic Space Arcade?!” Luke was puzzled for a moment, then answered, "Playing... Mario Bros.? Duh!" Lord Karnage circled around the teenager with a menacing look in his face. Jack, Connor, and Present ran toward the two and stopped a few feet away. Lord Karnage looked their way, "Why are you here? Were you the ones who attacked us?!" Present replied, "What are you talking about? We just rematerialised into this reality inside your hanger bay! Where are we anyway?" Lord Karnage answered, "You are on the Intergalactic Space Arcade, we were banished from Earth in the year 2084 when the alien overlords took control." He lowered the Light Phaser, "You all look very innocent... Accept for the one in the tan military vest and the camouflage pants." Connor rolled his eyes. Luke immediately rolled a quarter into the Mario Bros. arcade machine and started playing before he was shoved away by Lord Karnage. "Aw cmon!" Just then the lights and arcade machines turned off. The 5 of them looked up and around wondering what had happened. Lord Karnage raised his Light Phaser, "We need to move, NOW!" Jack was puzzled, "What's goin' on here?!" "The Alien Overlords invested the ship and want the three power cores!" Luke said, "Why aren't you guarding them?" "I posted guards to watch them. But my crew died to the hands of a Xenomorph." "So... They're unguarded?" "D--n! We need to get to the cores now!" Connor cocked his shotgun, "Luke and Wiafu, you go to the first core... Jack, you go with Lord carnage, I'll go alone to the third core." Lord Karnage pointed to Luke and Present, "The core you'll be looking for is the magic El Camino, I'll go with the blonde to the Disco Ball of Power, and G.I. Joe will go to the... Third core. Now split up!"

[riftleague]

Chap. 12

In the depths of space, a large, black cube orbited around the binary star system of Alpha Centauri. The cube had a slit in both the left and right sides for hanger bays and a glass window just above the giant graphic of a squirrel with red glowing eyes. Inside the window there were tens of computers aligned in rows, each with a person working on keeping the security up, the life support running, and keeping the cube in proper orbit. Behind all the crew members working at the computers, was a man in his 40s, wearing a black T-shirt and jeans. The man has overlooked the progress of the space station ever since he and his crew were banished from Earth in the year 2084 by the Evil Alien Overlords.

“Lord Karnage, sir,” one of the security patrols at a computer said, “I think the Alien Overlords have a bone to pick with us, as there are currently 5 Alien ships and an unidentifiable vessel closing in at 300kph!”

The man in the black shirt and jeans looked over the mans shoulder at the radar, “This can’t be true!” Lord Karnage grabbed a microphone on a spiral cord next to the radar, “All units, grab your Power Gloves and Light Guns, we’ve got bogies incoming! Fire all turrets at the targets!”

The laser turrets fired beams of light at the small squad of ships. Three of the ships were destroyed by the turrets, but two ships and the unidentifiable vehicle escaped, and sped their way into the hanger bay on the left of the space station.

“Lord Karnage,” a guard said, “the scanners show the unidentifiable vehicle is a… A car from the 1970s? A black Bricklin SV-1?”

There was a loud noise in the left hanger bay, and all power cut out.

Lord Karnage was worried, “Get guards to surround the three main cores! We can’t let them fall into their hands!”

There was the feeling of a cold draft, and a black figure flew across the rows of crew members at computers killing them all. The lights flickered, revealing the alien to be a Xenomorph, the lights turned off.

There was a deadly silence all around the darkened ship.

~~~~~~~~~~

All of reality started to stretch and warp in the right hanger of the space station, then there was a flash of light and a white Bricklin and a green Elio flew into the dark hanger. The Bricklin’s driver side door opened and Lule stepped out.

Half drunken on Dr. Pepper, Luke Burbled, “Banished from Earth classic game room broadcasts from the intergalactic space arcade on its never ending mission to review everything!” Before falling over.

Jack slowly applauded, “Well done Luke, you’ve successfully become the first person in mankind’s ludicrous history to get drunk on Dr. Pepper!”

Present stepped out of the Bricklin and helped Luke to his feet. Connor lightly slapped Luke’s face and eventually he became sober. Jack and Connor grabbed flashlights, while Luke resorted to his ‘GameBoy Advance SP backlite model’ for light. The four eventually came across a door.

“Stand back!” Luke Exclaimed. He reached his hand out to Present who rolled her eyes and handed him a Dr. Pepper from her cloak. Luke chugged the Dr. Pepper and slammed his head into the door.

“FriketyFrikCripCrap!” He exclaimed. He didn’t even make a dent.

Connor ran to the Elio and came back with a plasma cutter. Jack held the cutter as he traced a 1:1 ratio outline of Present on the door. The metal in Present’s image fell to the floor, and Present fit the shape precisely. The room was massive, but so dark it was hard to see more than 1.7 micrometers ahead of you.

“Hey guys,” Present announced, “I found a light switch!”

Present flicked the switch and the lights came on in the room row by row. Then it was revealed that the whole room was filled with arcade cabinets, and when those turned on Luke made a beeline towards the Mario Bros. arcade cabinet.

When Luke was just about to reach the masterpiece of hardware, Lord Karnage stepped in front of Luke with a SEGA Master System Light Phaser in his hand pointed at Luke. He turned the battery it was plugged into on and said, “What in Truxton’s name are you doing invading the Intergalactic Space Arcade?!”

[riftleague]

Chap. 11

The team turned to see a mech that looked anime and Robotnik worthy at the same time, with an orange 3 on its chest.

“ALL OF YOU ARE DED!” Dr. Pootis yelled.

Dr. Pootis fired multiple missiles, “YATATATATATATATATATADODODADADADADADODODADODADATADADODATA… KABOOOOOM! KABOOOOOM!”

One of the missiles was targeted straight for Present, who was about to collapse in fear. Luke dashed toward her.

“Present! Get out of the way!”

Luke shoved Present out of the line of fire, but was hit by a missile. The other missiles landed on top of the blast zone and filled the surrounding area with dust and smoke.

A warping, science fiction sound was heard inside the smoke, then a black Bricklin pulled out of the cloud. The driver-side door opened and the Luke from the inverted dimension stepped out.

“Did you kill Cuphead?” He asked.

“LITTLE MAN IS DED!” Dr. Pootis answered.

Other Luke looked back at the cloud of dust and smoke, which was starting to settle down. He then walked over to the pile of dust that was once Cuphead, and reached inside the mound of pulverised ceramic. He retracted his hand and had a glass orb in his hand. The orb was about 2 inches in diameter, and had a black dot in the centre so small, it would take a minute to see if it was even there to the untrained eye. Other Luke let out a menacing laugh, that sent a chill down Jack’s back.

Connor cocked his shotgun and aimed toward other Luke, and swore loudly, “You dirtbag! You killed an innocent life for a snow globe?! What kind of a monster are you?!”

Other Luke turned to face Connor, “I am a man with determination, determination to destroy every little thing you dirtbags care about!”

There was the sound of clicking in the crater left by the missiles, but other Luke ignored it.

“You sons of a gun think you can stop me?! Feel my power!!!!!”

Other Luke raised the glass orb into the air. The sky immediately became dark and cloudy, and thunder and lightning rolled through the air. The glass orb started to glow black, and multiple lightning strikes struck the orb, feeding its power.

There was the sound of scurrying, then a stabbing sound. Immediately the sky cleared, the lighting ceased, and the black glow vanished. Other Luke lowered his arm and grabbed his shoulder, dropping the glass orb.

He writhed in pain, “FRIKFRIKFRIKFRIKFRIKFRIKFEDFRKIDKFIRFDKDFKJDKIKFKIICRIPCRAP! What the…!” He swore.

Luke pulled out the knife and grabbed the glass orb. “I LIVE!” He exclaimed in a deep Russian accent, before swinging around his butterfly knife and putting it in his pocket.

Present ran to Luke and hugged him, “Luke! You’re OK!”

They hugged for a moment, then let go of each other and acted like it never happened,

“So, you lived? Great job.”

“Ja! I regenerated, all normal tat.”

Connor and Jack looked at each other and nodded, they knew what luke and Present felt about each other.

Other Luke’s shoulder was bleeding hard. He crawled back to his Bricklin whispering, “This isn’t the end! Mark my words occas, I’ll claim all 7 of those time-space points and rule the hyperverse!” Before driving away.

A portal opened and sucked Dr. Pootis and his mech back to where he came from, “WAAAAAAAAAH! WWWWWAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!”

Luke inspected the black point in the glass orb.

“Whatever it is, we know they’re pretty dang powerful.” Jack said.

“Other Luke said something about there being 7 of them, so… that happened.” Luke added, “Also, he said something about a hyperverse… Whatever the carpity crud that is!”

Connor grabbed the orb and thought hard for a moment, “Let’s get back home, the Doc can analyse it and tell us what he can.”

The four nodded, then hopped into their cars, and drove to the correct speed to teleport.

60mph 70mph 80mph 88mph

All of reality stretched around the two cars, there was a flash of light, the cars were gone, leaving devastation, and a pile of shattered ceramic slowly eroded away by wind, water, and passers by. What happened at that spot on that day, no one ever spoke of again.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Idk where the FRIKETY FRIK you dirtbags got this glass piece of crap from, but it sure is powerful! It broke my volt-o-metre and erased the high scores from the Pac-and-Pal arcade cabinet Luke has!”

“FINALY A WAY TO ERASE HIGH SCORES!” Luke exclaimed.

“Doc, "Jack asked, "Evil Luke said something about there being 7 of these, and something about a… Hyperverse?”

The Doc replied, “I have worked on a theory… The multiverse is a giant ‘what if’ situation, so 'what if’ there was a different action at the beginning of a multiverse? To dumb it down, it’s a multiverse of multiverses.”

The four stood dumbfounded.

Luke broke the silence, “That is heavy duty Doc! Well, it’s a wrap!”

The others looked at Luke in confusion.

“Just forget that last part.”

[riftleague]

Chap. 10

Dr. Pootis suddenly pulled out a small box with a large red button on it that was labled, '2’. He pushed the button and out of the sky came mech #2. A mech that more or less looked the same, but more black in colour. “ALL OF YOU ARE DED!” He yelled at the top of his lungs. Luke was shocked, “Oh FRIK I forgot about that! Mech… Number… Two…” Mugman was in tears, mourning over the death of his brother. Connor looked at him, then back at Luke, then at Dr. Pootis, then back to where Luke was... But he wasn't there. There was a grumbling of an engine behind the group. Everyone looked behind them to see Luke's Bricklin drive at about 70mph. The driver-side gull wing door was open and Luke's head was sticking out yelling at the top of his lungs, "LEROOOOOOOOOOY JEEEEEENKIIIIIIIINSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!" The car flew past the team in pursuit of the mech, "NOOOOOOO! LITTLE KART IZ MOOVING!" Dr. Pootis said. The Bricklin slammed into the legs of the mech. Dr. Pootis lost his balance and slammed onto the ground, breaking the glass canopy he was enclosed in and tumbling out of the mech with rag doll physics. "Yes!" Jack exclaimed, "YOU ARE DEAD! Not big surprise." "Wait?" Present asked, "Where's Mugman?" He was gone. When the team turned to face where Mugman was, Dr. Pootis started giggling, then laughing. "HAHAHAHAHAHA!" The team turned to see a mech that looked anime and Robotnik worthy at the same time, with an orange 3 on its chest. "ALL OF YOU ARE DED!" Dr. Pootis yelled. Dr. Pootis fired multiple missiles, "YATATATATATATATATATADODODADADADADADODODADODADATADADODATA... KABOOOOOM! KABOOOOOM!"

[riftleague]

Chap. 9

The man in the mech activated a loudspeaker, “I am Doctor Pootis! The most evilest man in history of world!” "Well Pootis.” Luke said in frustration. "What are you gonna do to us?" Present asked. "Do you wish for Dr. Pootis to keel you?" Dr. Pootis asked. "I wanna see you try!" Luke taunted. Dr. Pootis swung his arm at Luke and launched him over a hill, "Your wish is granted!" "Hey! Dirtbag!" Connor exclaimed as he cocked his shotgun. Dr. Pootis started firing missiles into the air. "YATATATATATATATATATA-DODADADADADODADADADO!" The missiles fell toward Connor, who dodged out of the way, "KABOOM! KABOOM!" Cuphead and Mugman started firing their fingerguns, "BEH BEH BEH! BEHBEH BEH BEHEB!" The bullets had no effect on the mech. But there was one place they weren't firing at. A bullet hole appeared in the cockpit of Dr. Pootis' mech. They all turned to see who fired the gun. Luke crawled over a hill covered with scars and no left arm. He surrounded with a blue fire as the scars and wounds sealed up and his left arm grew back. He loaded his gun and fired another round. "Friketyfrikcripcrap! His hull is bulletproof!" Luke yelled. "I have an idea!" Jack said, "But I need all of you to distract him!" "We'll do that!" Mugman replied. The team fought Dr. Pootis as Jack got into his car and drove toward civilisation. ~~~~~~~~~~ Jack drove into the nearby town. Everything looked like it came straight out of a Mickey Mouse cartoon. Jack ran into the blacksmith. The black smith was hard at work building an important thingy. He hammered away at the thingy on the anvil, then turned to stick it back into the fire. When he turned again, there was no anvil to hammer on. ~~~~~~~~~~ "BEHBEHBEHBEHBEHBEHEBEH!" Mugman and Cuphead fired their fingerguns, but to no avail. Dr. Pootis' mech's arms raised above his head and charged a laser beam. Mugman jumped away, but Cuphead stood his ground. "POW!" Dr. Pootis yelled as the laser beam fired straight at Cuphead. Cuphead tried to escape the beam, but was hit dead centre. He stood still for a moment, before shattering into a million pieces of glass upon the earth. "HAHA!" Dr. Pootis said, "You are ded! Not beeg surprize!" Luke pointed his finger at Dr. Pootis, "YOU ARE 'EVILEST MAN IN HISTORY OF WORLD!" There was suddenly a loud crash as an anvil fell from the sky and collapsed the cockpit of Dr. Pootis' mech. The hulking mass came tumbling to the earth as Dr. Pootis crawled out of the wreckage. "Augh!" Dr. Pootis Groaned, "I am DED! Not beeg surprize!" He suddenly pulled out a small box with a large red button on it that was labled, '2'. He pushed the button and out of the sky came mech #2. A mech that more or less looked the same, but more black in colour. "ALL OF YOU ARE DED!" He yelled at the top of his lungs. Luke was shocked, "Oh FRIK I forgot about that! Mech... Number... Two..."