ripkpop-blog

[ripkpop-blog]

I’ve been having bad days and drawing this helped me remember things.

I hope it helps you, too.

[ripkpop-blog]

my baby is grown

Mark "absolutely fully capable" Lee is officially 18 pass it on

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my baby is growing up

reblog while you still can

[ripkpop-blog]

please support this. i cannot, unfortunately, but for the safety of another human being, please do it.

Urgent: Please Help Protect Me From My Stalker

Hi y'all my name is Alem. I know what a lot of you might be thinking “Another Tumblr person asking for some damn money 🙄 watch her say she never did this before 🙄🙄.” I actually never did this before but this is what its come to.

I have a dangerous stalker who is harassing me and is threatening to kill me. He deadass said “You’re dying tonight”! He knows everything about me. EVERYTHING!!! He has my personal information and he’s using it against me. He even came to my house!!!!

We used to work together a very long time ago and we had a “Hi. Bye.” type of work relationship. He had a crush on me and he had a negative response when he found out I liked women.

I already have a Temporary Peace Order out for him and pending criminal charges against him. I desperately need the money to pay for an attorney to help me get this Peace Order approved. Because if I don’t, I will have to request for a new Peace Order. If I request for a new Peace Order I will NOT be able to reuse any of the evidence I’m using for my current Peace Order against him…I hope that made sense.

I really don’t want this man to get away with all the crazy shit he’s putting me through. I can’t tell y'all all the details because I have several court dates coming up and I’m not tryna get in trouble.

I need to come up with $1600 in LESS than a week. This is EXTREMELY time sensitive because I have to go to court very soon…I don’t want to give out the dates for safety reasons.

Any amount will help…$0.50, $1…anything!!!!!!! I will forever be grateful!!! If you cannot donate, I completely understand! Reblogging this will also help.

Here’s the link to my cash app and here’s my PayPal

Edit: If my paypal link isn’t working this is my paypal email alem.k.94@gmail.com

Goal Status: $788.28 ($811.72 to go) Now I have LESS than 5 days to come up with $811.72

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO DONATED AND TO EVERYONE REBLOGGING THIS!!!

[ripkpop-blog]

i love you darlings ❤️️

Would You?

it’s sleepover saturday :) send us drabble requests or questions

Would you fall in love with someone who has an expiration date? Jun had asked himself this a lot lately. Would he have fallen so deeply for you if he knew that when he told you he would love you until that day you die that it was only a few months away? That that concept wasn’t as abstract as it had been when he first told you that.

Now he had grown accustomed to sitting in waiting rooms, he could write a book on it. Step one, find the chair in the corner, the one that allows you to see that TV from the best angle even though you would never be able to hear it properly. Step two, do anything and everything to distract yourself from that fact that the one you had promised your forever to might be dying. Disclaimer: side effects from sitting in a hospital waiting room for hours on end includes: almost always having some form of cold, using all the data on your phone from playing dumb flash games, and having the worst posture ever from the folding chairs you sat in all day.

Jun would still give you the world if you asked for it. He was only one person and so were you, he realized in the grand scheme of things neither of you meant that much, but to him you meant everything. Each day he would come with a different gift, Sunday he got you big yellow carnations, when you told him those meant rejection he almost threw up. Monday he got you the thickest novel he could find at the bookstore, you read it in one day, it was awful. Today, he was determined to get it right. What were the odds of Jun being the worst gift giver in the entire world?

He had come with three pints of your favorite ice cream. Usually, if he came as early as he did you would be able to see him before the treatment started. It just so happened that today was not the case. He waited five hours for you chemo and other test to be finished and by then the ice cream was nothing but soup. He walked into your room with the tubs of ice cream wrapped up in his jacket, but your keen eyes spotted them almost right away.

“It was ice cream.” He explained embarrassed as his fingers hooked with yours. “Now it’s just soup.” You laughed a little, making his face light up more than yours. “But it’s okay. I’ll be here tomorrow to get you something better.”

Jun had asked himself if he would still fall in love with you if he knew what would happen so premature. He had decided yes, nothing could stop him from loving you.

[ripkpop-blog]

when the camera tried to get woozi to get up and join the group and he just

[ripkpop-blog]

when people ask what your first language is and you're like "i'm bad at every language I speak so i don't have one" very heavy sigh. i'm gonna post something soon, spring break is really close so i'll have to do something for the 15 hours i'm in a car lmao

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Now that I read over it again, I actually thank you—

I did not realize my mistake earlier. I had been writing the story in a rush and I did not realize my mistake. No, this is not a way for me to say "forgive me please blah blah blah" because I hate that with a passion. But I have read over the Taeyong smut, and I will take it down immediately.

And please don't say that I do not have morals again, because I do, and I'm sorry if they were not made clear. But I have realized my mistake, and I will take the smut down.

Ok, let me say this here

on behalf of @svt-can-fvck-me i’m going to say this here.

Whoever wrote the Haechan smut, I applaud you. From what I read of it, you are a very talented writer and you can definitely keep a story going for a while. However, I do not applaud you for your choice of person for whom to write it about.

Yes, I understand that teenagers have hormonal sex, but it is never to the extent that your smut was. And before you say “you have no fucking idea what you’re talking about,” I know exactly what teenage hormonal sex is because I have done it before. It is usually a lot of body touching, but the extent it really goes to is blowjobs. Again, I know from experience. You included eating out and legitimate sex between a girl and boy who were minor. Not to mention that, in all technicalities, the girl was 24-26 years old which makes it even more wrong.

You can hate on me all you want. As you can see, I do not have many followers and I have everything on my account copied and I have three accounts. The most damage you would do is making me go through all of the hassle to find all of the pictures I used and repost everything, along with recreating my masterlist. I have to update it anyway.

So go ahead, hate on me.

But i am congratulating you on your ability to continue a story for a long period of time and sticking with it without going off topic. Good job. I just don’t condone the underage smut.

This is in no way meant to be disrespectful at all.

[ripkpop-blog]

Ok, let me say this here

on behalf of @svt-can-fvck-me i’m going to say this here.

Whoever wrote the Haechan smut, I applaud you. From what I read of it, you are a very talented writer and you can definitely keep a story going for a while. However, I do not applaud you for your choice of person for whom to write it about.

Yes, I understand that teenagers have hormonal sex, but it is never to the extent that your smut was. And before you say “you have no fucking idea what you’re talking about,” I know exactly what teenage hormonal sex is because I have done it before. It is usually a lot of body touching, but the extent it really goes to is blowjobs. Again, I know from experience. You included eating out and legitimate sex between a girl and boy who were minor. Not to mention that, in all technicalities, the girl was 24-26 years old which makes it even more wrong.

You can hate on me all you want. As you can see, I do not have many followers and I have everything on my account copied and I have three accounts. The most damage you would do is making me go through all of the hassle to find all of the pictures I used and repost everything, along with recreating my masterlist. I have to update it anyway.

So go ahead, hate on me.

But i am congratulating you on your ability to continue a story for a long period of time and sticking with it without going off topic. Good job. I just don’t condone the underage smut.

This is in no way meant to be disrespectful at all.

[ripkpop-blog]

reblog if you think every single one of your followers are the cutest sunshines ever

[ripkpop-blog]

rant

(posted on tumblr and wattpad) Listen, everybody. I hate ranting. I hate putting my opinion online, because I don't like fights. However, this is very important to me and to a lot of people. BTS and, unfortunately, a lot of k-stars get death threats and other threatening messages, but why? Because a butt hurt person asked them to marry them but they refused, because the idol didn't come to their house and treat them like a princess? It's not fair to the idol. These people have millions of fans, all of which they love and adore. It's not fair when the idol has to deal with threats against them, their family, their groups, the people closest to the idol, because the person feels like threatening them. This is a SERIOUS OFFENSE. One which can be punished by going to jail I, Jai/Jagi, am going to share my own experience with death threats to show just how serious it can be. This is in no way to defuse the importance of the idols being threatened, but it's to show just how important this is. One day, in my school day, I was doing my work peacefully. I was being quiet, as I normally am during my school day. We were also taking a test, but the people in my class wouldn't stop talking. I calmly asked them to be quiet, SINCE WE WERE TAKING A TEST, and one student said "Shut the fuck up [my name], nobody likes you." Another student said "You don't even deserve to be alive, so if you fucking talk again I'm going to hurt you" Just like that. At another point, one boy said that he would poison me if I didn't go out with him. The first time, with the hurt threat, the school got involved and the student had to go to the office to talk to their parents. I was not allowed near the student. The second time, with the death threat, the student got suspended. When they searched his backpack, they found poison. The boy was planning to poison me if i didn't go out with him. And a few days after he got back from his suspension, he tried to rape me. Just to put this into context, everyone I've talked about in these two examples (including me) is either 12 or 13. A bunch of 13 year olds had to be searched because they made a death threat to someone else. Now on to the boys/girls in the korean idol industry: Death threats are a lot more serious in these cases. Why? Because not only can these threats hurt one person, but they can hurt a lot of people. Example One: Hangeng A fan sent a box to Super Juniors Hangeng. In the box, there were bags of blood, a knife, and a stabbed photo of Hangeng. There was also a cake, which was found to have poison in the form of powder. Example Two: Yunho We've probably all heard about this incident, with the super glue. TVXQ's Yunho was given a glass of orange juice, but when he drank it, he had ingested super glue. This caused him to vomit and cough up blood. Obviously, not safe. Example Three: Do Jiwon This is an example of kidnapping, when actress Do Jiwon was trapped in a vehicle. Particularly, the trunk of the vehicle. Example Four: Jay Park When Jay Park was saying that he would leave 2PM, anti-fans signed a petition for him to commit suicide. This is one of the most saddening ones for me. There are so many other examples of these anti-fan incidents. Some of these incidents have caused these idols to attempt suicide, some even more than once. Some perhaps succeeding. This brings us to our current example: BTS Jimin. As you've all probably heard, he's been getting death threats. These threats have increased security measures at their concerts, and i'm sure nobody wants a Selena moment. (Selena was a Mexican-American singer who was performing at the Astrodome when she was shot and killed by the person who claimed to be her biggest fan) Please, don't blame members of any other fandom. Only blame the person making this threat. Don't blame the TWICE, EXO, GOT7, Or any other group fandom because they don't deserve this treatment. These idols don't deserve this treatment. Imagine if the person who's making these threats brings a gun to the concerts. What could happen then? 1. More than one BTS member could be hurt. Guns can't be fired when they're dancing, because the aim could be off. 2. A fan could be hurt. The person could miss, firing the gun at a fan instead of Jimin. 3. Jimin could be hurt. Jimin is the target of these death threats, what if he is actually hurt and he goes to the hospital, or worse, dies? Whoever you are making these threats, know this: There are so many people who would throw themselves in front of Jimin to protect him. There are so many people who would throw themselves in front of any group, whether they are BTS, EXO, GOT7, DAY6, SEVENTEEN, TWICE, BIGBANG, BLACKPINK, ASTRO, KNK, etc. If you hurt Jimin, are you prepared for the mental trauma of murder? Whether you are a member of any fandom, let us all hold hands and protect all of these idols, no matter what group their from. Because together, we can protect these idols from anything. BTS Fighting! Army fighting!

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i really want to go, but my family has a really bad financial situation so I can't :( if you meet BTS, tell them I love them

Is anyone here going to the Friday BTS concert in Newark?

I’m gonna be there and it’d be cool to meet you guys ^__^

- Marcy 

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i love how jun is like "don't. think. dirty. thoughts" and then how wonwoo just robs the victory from hosh by grabbing the water bottle.

this is why i love seventeen

jun stuck between two toddlers

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Ahh can u please reblog/like this post if you think chubby girls are adorable n cute??? I’m having troubles with self esteem rn

[ripkpop-blog]

panic/anxiety attack

breath in for 4 seconds

hold your breath for 7 seconds

exhale breath for 8 seconds

repeat once or twice more.

This causes an autonomic nervous system shift from a sympathetic (fight or flight reaction) state to a parasympathetic response.

Use this for panic/anxiety attacks, exams, presentations.

[ripkpop-blog]

about me

tagged by @choco-seventeen Nickname: Jai (bc i like the name) Last Thing I Googled: jiyoon 4minute favorite music artists: Shakira, Marina and the Diamonds, DragonForce, any kpop group song stuck in my head: First Love by Astro What Are You Wearing: a miniskirt and a shirt bc why not. i'm gonna change soon so last movie i watched: i don't watch movies last tv show i watched: untouchable when did you start your blog: a year ago what kind of stuff do you post about: kpop shit do you have any other blogs: yes, my depression blog. it won't be named tho why did you choose your url: i actually don't know do you get asks regularly: no, but i want them. most of the things i've written so far have been challenged from my friends or me just writing for fun gender: female, but i'm fine with male pronouns if you want. i'm genderfluid hogwarts house: slytherin pokemon go team: i don't play it. My MKX faction is brotherhood of shadow favorite color: navy blue, electric purple, blood red, black favorite number: 13 and 18 average hours of sleep: 3-6 favorite characters: zelda and ghirahim from legend of zelda how many blankets: one. it's a wolf blanket dream job: singer. My singing and dancing are one of the few things i'm confident in, so those are my dream jobs. tagging: idk i don't really know anyone so

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"Scared To Tell" — NCT JohnTen

I hugged my knees close to my chest as I looked at the wall, wondering if today will be the day. If today will be the day I confess to the tall boy I always look up to, the one that I have been falling for since day one. He's helped me with everything, he's my best friend. And I've liked him for a long time, I've been in love with this boy for a while. Except us being together is taboo, as we are both male. But that doesn't stop my inevitable feelings towards him, my feelings of love that can't be denied. Despite my feelings for him, we can't be together unless it's kept a secret. A shame, since he most likely doesn't feel the same way that I do. He doesn't know my feelings, but he deserves to know of them. He deserves to know that I love him. Again, I looked at the other bed in the room. He's sleeping, and what a wonderful sight it is. He even looks beautiful while sleeping, his hair falling over his beautiful eyes. His plump lips, pouty as usual. I stood, wiping the small bit of drool that had gone out of his mouth. Even in this state, he's beautiful to me. "Johnny, it's time to wake up." "Can I stay in bed today?" He groaned. His morning voice is adorable, it truly is. It's a bit raspy mixed with a bit of a yawn, but it sounds beautiful to my ears. "We don't have a schedule today. Well, not this morning. We can go make chocolate again." I smiled. He sat up, the blanket falling off of him. I forced myself not to stare at his exposed stomach, but it took effort. Effort that I do not have under any circumstance. "Uh... Johnny, your stomach." "Oh, sorry." He said, standing up. I looked away, but the image of his perfect body remained in my head. What is he doing to me, why can't I keep him out of my mind? He plagues my thoughts, and I even get nervous talking around him. I always make sure I look my best around him, but he could always care less. He doesn't notice my efforts. It's just a simple crush. Maybe it's not even a crush at all, he could just be someone I idolize. But still, I can't stop thinking about him. The perfection in his very smile that I see every day. The perfection I wake up to every morning, even in his every flaw. The beauty that is Johnny Suh, he would never have feelings for a flawed person like me. Not someone with my flaws, with my imperfections. "Ten?" I heard his melodic voice call out to me. "Yes, Johnny?" "You seem sad. What's wrong?" What I want to say is that I'm heartbroken you'll never love me, but then you'll really never love me. "Nah I'm just..." Hurting inside because you'll never love me back. "I'm just tired." Johnny pursed his heart shaped lips and got dressed. I also did, but when he left the room I just sat on my bed. Does he suspect anything? What if Johnny suspects something and thinks that I love him, and then gets the wrong idea? Oh god, what if he loves me back? The rest of the day went very simply. Interviews late at night with all of the NCT members, photoshoots, everything that happens in the normal day of an idol. But I was only half focused on it, since my mind was really on Johnny. Focused on his perfect English, on his perfect Korean. On his perfection. As I got into the shower that night, I noticed the sound of someone knocking on the door, but I chose to ignore it. It's probably Taeyong asking for a razor, he can wait. Besides, I don't want to talk to anyone. The person knocked again, making me more annoyed. But I was especially shocked when I heard the voice behind the knock. "Ten, Please. Open the door; we have to talk. Please, open the door." "Can it wait?" I asked. I'm almost done with my shower, maybe he can just wait for a few more minutes. Wait for me to leave the shower, so we can have a proper conversation. But is a proper conversation what I want? No, is a proper conversation with Johnny what I need? I finished washing my hair, leaving the shower and wrapping the towel around my waist once I dried my hair. It's still dropping water like heads of sweat down my face, and I looked at y face in the mirror. Tracing my jaw, my lips. I could feel Johnny's lips ghosting across my face and neck, but then shook the image away. That's all it is, that's all it will ever be. An image, a mirage created by the desire in my heart and the imagine in my brain. I opened the door, the cold air of the dorm knocking me out of my fantasy. I started to get dressed, pulling shorts and a shirt on before I walked to the door. My throat is burning, I need something to drink before I suffocate. "Ten, I'm not kidding. We need to talk. I have water here, this might take a while." Johnny had a very stern tone of voice, but I listened and sat on the bed across from him. I grabbed the glass of water that was by my side of the nightstand, taking a long sip. The cold water soothed my burning throat, calming me exponentially. My muscles relaxed, and I put the cup down. I looked into Johnny's chocolate eyes, resisting the urge to go over and caress his soft cheek. But he'd find it repulsive. These feelings are taboo, they shouldn't exist. But they do exist, despite it just being my heart going against me and my desires... or working with them to shape my love for the boy ahead of me known as Johnny. The boy I love so, so much. I looked into his eyes, the warm, large eyes that I fell in love with. But now, they were anything but warm. They were harsh, piercing into my heart like a cold knife. "Ten, why have you been ignoring me?" Because I've been trying to avoid you so that I could fall out of love with you. So that I can stop suffering this heartbreak of losing the boy I love. So that I can stop imagining the feeling of your lips against mine, so that I can stop imagining. Imagining you with me. "I'm not sure what you mean." I stated simply. How many lies have I told him now to keep him from knowing the truth? How many lies have I told him, just so that he doesn't find out about my inevitable feelings for him? "You know exactly what I mean. You know you've been ignoring me, you know you've been purposely leaving me behind. Tell me why, Ten." He said, with some obvious anger. I bit my words back, clenching the fists and tensing my leg muscles so that I don't go up. It a lot more difficult to not kiss him than it is to want to. "So what if I have?" "Because I want to know why you say my name sometimes in the middle of the night, why do I see you writing it down sometimes and then smiling to yourself? Tell me, Ten." He said, now his voice demanding. By the look on his face, I can tell that he's angry. But why at me, when I've done nothing? Why is he angry? "I'm really not sure what you are talking about..." I tried to defend myself, but it won't work. Johnny already knows how I feel. So either he's going to hate me and push me away or he's going to love me back, there's no in between. "Ten, you should have just told me that you love me." He said, his soft lips pressing against mine abruptly. What the hell? Why is he kissing me now, when he doesn't like me, instead of just telling me the truth? My heart is more broken by this than if he had told me that he is disgusted by me... By what I am. Why isn't he pushing me away? When his warm lips left mine, I felt my jaw drop; Did he really just kiss me? Or am I dreaming, and he is really just sleeping on the bed besides me, and this didn't happen? Because Johnny wouldn't just kiss me, he isn't gay like I am. "I love you." Johnny whispered. I clenched my fist tighter. "No you don't." "Why won't you believe me?" "Because you're not gay." "Neither are you." He defended. I bit my lip. "Why do you love me?" "Because I do." He grabbed my hand, and I pulled him over to hug him. My arms wrapped around the taller boy, my face burying into his shoulder. I felt Johnny's arms wrap around me, and I fell back onto the bed. Johnny was on top of me now. "I love you too, Johnny." His lips connected with mine again, soft and warm like a pillow. I love him so much, and he loves me back. He. Loves. Me. Back. He's kissing me, he's holding me in his arms. "Ten, will you be my boyfriend?" He asked, his lips against my cheek. I held onto his hand, looking into his soft brown eyes. With my other hand, I held his cheek. It's just as soft as I imagined. His entire body is soft to me. I can't help but try to find a perfect flaw in his perfection, but I cannot find any. To me, he has no flaws. "Johnny... Do you really mean it?" "Of course I mean it. I want to date you, Ten. I want to sleep in the same bed as you, I want to kiss you before going to sleep. I want to cuddle on the couch together, I want to watch movies with you and kiss you when it gets sad. I want to hug you from behind, I want to use you as a pillow. I want you to love me, so I'll ask again; will you be my boyfriend?" I sat, shocked by his words. Johnny, the last person I would expect to be like me. To be gay, like me. But, secretly, I don't want to admit to him that I've dreamed about this moment. I don't want to admit that I love him. "Johnny..." I'm going to finally admit that I love him. "Yes, Johnny. I will be your boyfriend." His lips pressed against mine once more, then left my lips to ghost faint kisses along my neck. I bit my lip, then pushed him up. I sat up, fixing myself on the bed so that I wasn't laying sideways. He followed suit, his head laying on my chest. He looked up at the ceiling, my hands playing with his soft hair. "Ten, should we tell the other members? I mean, at least Taeyong should know." "Not now, Johnny. Soon, though." "But they should know." "They don't have to know now, cutie." I laughed, my breath airy. I heard his soft laugh, warmth coursing through my body at the sound. How, of all the things, could he be in love with me? And why am I so in love with him, with his undeniable perfection? With the gaze that warms my entire body that only secretes from his warm, chocolate coloured eyes? His perfections, his flaws... Even his flaws, to me, are the most perfect things about him. "You're the cute one." He pouted, poking my cheek. He pushed himself up, leaving the softest of pecks on my lips. I laughed, holding him in place. I held onto his shoulders, looking into his perfectly shaped eyes. I lifted my head up, kissing him. He bit my bottom lip softly, and the kiss turned into a makeout session. Johnny was on top of me, him quickly dominating the kiss. And I allowed him to. His lips are the softest things I've ever touched. He pulled away from the kiss, leaving mine desiring for more contact. Leaving me filled with desire. He panted, his hair tickling my face. I let out a small laugh, then tucked his hair behind his ear. He sat on my lap, then took his shirt off. I ran my hand over his stomach— He may not have abs, but he's still beautiful. Johnny laid next to me, pulling the blanket over our bodies. I laughed, pushing it down. "Babe... If we'll be cuddling all night, we won't need the blanket." I poked his cheek, making him laugh heartily. I kissed him quickly to make him be quiet, as I don't want people to find out about us... Just yet. He pouted, then pulled me close. Being the shorter one, he just pulled me like I was a rag doll to be dragged around. But Johnny wouldn't drag me... He'd pick me up and then carry me to my destinations. I kissed his neck softly. He let out a soft moan, but I held my finger to his lips. "Hush, baby. Don't make a sound." I whispered, then went back to kissing his neck. I left a wet kiss on it, the sound of my lips leaving his neck making a satisfying noise. Johnny looked at me as my lips reconnected with his, my hands tangling in his hair. Our bodies were pressed together, legs becoming a tangled mess. But the moment was so powerful to me. It was powerful because it meant that Johnny does love me back. His hand held onto the back of my head, not letting me get away. I didn't want to anyway. I put my arm around his waist, looking into his eyes. I look into them so many times, but I truly do love him. Every time I look into his eyes, they're more beautiful than the last time. I fell asleep in his arms, more comforted than I am at nights while I watch him sleep. I felt his lips press against my forehead as I drifted off into a deep sleep. When I woke up, I almost forgot about last night. When Johnny asked me to be his boyfriend. So I was confused when I saw him in my bed, in his perfection. I reached my hand over and tucked his hair behind his ear, since it had fallen out again. Gazing upon him while he was sleeping brought undeniable happiness to me. I love him. "Johnny?" I asked. My voice was hoarse, since I just woke up. I pressed my lips against his, hearing him groan softly. I pulled away, caressing his cheek. "Hey babe." He said, very sleepily. I laughed, kissing his nose. He pulled me into kissing him on the lips, his tongue pushing inside of my mouth. I pulled away, tugging on his hair a bit. "Mine." I said in a high voice, poking his nose. He puffed his cheeks, making me hold them in my hands. He relaxed his face, staring at me. Last night, he was on top of me. Now, it's the other way around. He's underneath me, his body under my fingertips. I ran my hand down his stomach, memorizing every bit of skin that I touched. I kissed him quickly on the lips before getting off of the bed, going to the shower. I played with my hair a bit, when Johnny came inside. He hugged me from behind, looking at me from the mirror. "I love you so damn much, Johnny." "And you know I love you too." "Yes, I do." "Ten... We should tell Taeyong. It would be good if he knew." Johnny whispered in my ear, kissing my cheek softly. "Johnny..." "It would be a good thing, Ten. So what do you say... would you go with me to tell Taeyong?" "Of course. I'm reluctant to tell him, but if you believe it's right then I will." I whispered. I kissed Johnny's cheek. "Except we shouldn't let the fans know. What if they're homophobic, and they hate us?" "They can hate all they want, it won't change my love for you." Johnny whispered into my ear. "But Johnny..." "Chittaphon. I love you. There's no changing that. Why would you think otherwise?" "Because I didn't think you would be gay, like me." I breathed. "Or at least bisexual." "Well, what do you identify as?" "Bisexual." I told him. He hugged me tighter. "So am I. It doesn't matter, Ten. Because I love you, still." I turned my head to kiss him softly. I felt him smiling into the kiss, but I pulled away. He and I fixed each other's hair, then picked out each other's outfits. While I went through his closet, I noticed a sweater. He only wears it when he's in the dorms, not anywhere else. Maybe he won't notice if I take it. When he wasn't looking, I smelled the sweater. It smells like him, which I love. I put the sweater on top of my bed, under the covers. I went back to his closet, picking a tight shirt and tight jeans and a sweater. I laid it on his bed, imagining the beautiful boy in those beautiful clothes I imagined him in when I picked them out. Johnny turned to me, then walked over. He passed me ripped jeans, a shirt, and a sweater. "Put it on for me babe?" He whispered. I nodded, nervously taking the shirt and shorts I was wearing and put them on. Johnny hugged me once I was done, burying his face in my shoulder. I kissed his forehead, tangling my hands in his hair. "Please, never leave me." "Why would I ever leave you?" "Because, Ten, what if you fall for someone else? Someone that isn't me, someone that is nicer and prettier—" "But I only love you." He nodded a bit, pulling away. He put the clothes I laid out for him on, then we walked out of the room together. I looked around the dorms; the members would never approve of Johnny and I. "Taeyong!!" Johnny called out. I stood off to the side, suddenly very wary of everyone in the room. "Hey, can we talk to you?" Johnny told Taeyong. He nodded, following us into a room. It was vacant, but very childish— Probably Jisung's. "What did you guys want to tell me?" Taeyong asked. "Well, uh... Johnny... um..." I faltered. "Ten and I are dating." Johnny said. He held me close, and I felt my face instantly become hot. Why does he have to be so open about us, but I'm so scared that we won't be accepted by NCT? What if the company decides to take us out? What if, because of work, Johnny and I split up? Why is Johnny so open about us, like he's not worried at all? What if he's lying to me? Taeyong just smiled. "I'm happy for you two. I truly am. I am happy for you two because you're both happy. Just don't sleep together, and don't let your relationship get in the way of the group." "Deal." Johnny and I said at the same time. I sighed. The day continued to go on this way. I went to my room, laying on my bed. "Exhausted?" "Worried. Scared. Nervous. Anxious. Tired. In pain. More than just exhausted. Johnny, I can't do this." "Can't do what?" "I love you, but dating is a lot of stress. How Kai-Hyung does it, I won't know." "But that doesn't matter. Because I love you, and I'll make it work. We'll make it work." "It's not that easy, Johnny. It won't be that easy, ever." "But if you trust me, it will be." He said softly, walking over to me. He kissed me on the lips softly, and i pulled away to yawn. "I'm tired. Let me sleep." "Can I sleep with you?" He asked. I sighed, making space for him on the bed. The tall boy crawled in next to me, wrapping his arm around my body. "Are you mad at me?" "Never." "Then why do you push me away?" "It won't be for forever, Johnny. It will only be for a while, because I'll get used to it soon. I won't be so awkward and distant from you in the future... In our future." I put emphasis on the word "our" so that he knew that I wanted to stay with him. "And I'll stay by your side the whole time. I'll be with you, helping you while you help me." I buried my face into his shoulder. I felt his lips against the top of my head. "Johnny, I've loved you for so long. I've wanted to be with you. I admired your looks and your sweetness. I adored everything about you. I'd look up at you and wonder how you saw the world, how you saw me. When you said that you loved me back, I was shocked. I was shocked because you're too beautiful to be with me. You were too beautiful and too sweet. Because I'm not that beautiful, I'm not kind like you." "But you know that I still love you." "Yes. I do. Johnny, I love you." "I love you too, Ten." He whispered, kissing my forehead. I smiled, kissing him on the lips softly. I melted into his body, my hands traveling to his sides. He's so wonderful. He's so perfect. Johnny is perfection to me, down to how skinny he is. And he loves me. Someone as flawed and odd as me, and he's in love with me. He shares my feelings for him. He loves me as I love him. And I love him so much. "I love you." "Ten, you just said that." "But that's how much I love you. I have to keep telling you I love you, because then you won't believe me." "But I do believe you." "I'm going to say it so much you know the words before I even think it. I love you, Johnny." "I love you too, idiot." He laughed. "Just kidding. I love you so much, Ten. Good night." I kissed him one last time before falling asleep.