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no actually i don't think antivaxxers' kids should die from a disease. i don't think gun advocates' kids should die in school shooting. children dying is bad actually, even if they're children of people you don't like.

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just remember, one day you're going to open tumblr and the crabs will be raving like they never have before

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haunted house with the personality of a housecat. bleeding walls? scratching post. sudden drafts and strange noises at night? zoomies. human occupants trapped in an unending hallway? yeah the house is bored and swatting you around like a toy mouse

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Diversity win! Ancestral curse recognises non-biological parenthood!

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have you guys seen the zesty b1 battledroid....

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I hate how people will look at popular indie artists who had one or two songs go viral on TikTok and start making fun of anybody who listens to them. "Oh you listen to Lemon Demon, Will Wood, Jack Stauber, Glass Animals, and Mother Mother? Tsk, don't you know that is stupid TikTok neurodivergent white transmasc preteen music? It's so mid and bad you should listen to real music–" you are a pit of misery

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“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.

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Superman says fuck ICE. Be like Superman

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The problem with having a child with an attorney that has spoken to the child like an adult since birth is that she's 4 years old and she's negotiating the order in which we're going to complete tasks as a family to best suit her idea of an ideal day.

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My mom: "which one is moomin?"

Me: "the little white guy"

My mom: "so who's the hippo?"

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$20 used to mean something

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“They’re making Superman woke by saying it’s an immigrant story”

Superman? You mean the ALIEN from a DIFFERENT PLANET who WAS NOT BORN IN AMERICA BUT GREW UP THERE??? The one created by Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster, who were both children of IMMIGRANTS???

Not only is Superman an immigrant BUT HES AN ILLEGAL ONE!! HE CRASH LANDED IN KANSAS WITH NO DOCUMENTATION!!

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Yeah so unfortunately, my friend was right. Muttering 'I'm gonna put on the greatest talent show this town has ever seen' darkly to myself is not only vastly funnier than saying I'm gonna kms, but is also somehow more concerning to anyone who might overhear it