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Writing characters who don’t know they’re in love
(PS: but literally everyone else does and is so tired)
These characters aren’t clueless, no, they’re not walking around like, “love? never heard of her.” They know something’s going on, they just won’t admit it (not to themselves, not to anyone.) Maybe they’re scared of messing it up, or maybe they think the other person doesn’t feel the same. Maybe they’ve stuffed the feeling so deep even a NASA rover couldn’t dig it out.
Whatever the reason, they’re not avoiding the truth as much as they’re…rebranding it. Calling it “friendship” while giving each other their only jacket and dreaming about each other’s voices like it’s totally normal behavior.
ꕤ They don’t realize it’s love, but they notice everything else. They clock every mood shift, every absence, every little thing. They definitely know when something’s off.
⇢ “You changed your hair.” ⇢ “You looked upset earlier.” ⇢ “You didn’t text me back and I panicked.” ⇢ “You weren’t at lunch and it felt weird.” ⇢ “Are you cold?” hands over jacket without a second thought
They don’t say “I love you,” but their actions scream it constantly.
ꕤ they get weird when someone else gets close They’re not jealous. No, how dare you think something like that… they’re just keeping an eye out. For safety... Or whatever."
⇢ “Who was that?” ⇢ “Oh, you’re hanging out with them again?” ⇢ “I just think it’s interesting how you never cancel on them.”
They don’t say it, but they hate the idea of being replaced. It stings more than they’re ready to admit.
ꕤ they make excuses to be around each other.
Literally inventing reasons to be in the same space.
⇢ “Wanna study together? I’m struggling with this topic.” (They’re not.) ⇢ “Oh, I was just in the area.” (They weren’t.) ⇢ “You forgot this.” (It’s a single pen.)
They’d rather lie badly than admit, “I just wanted to see you.”
ꕤ Their friends are so over it Everyone around them is either rooting for them or trying not to scream.
⇢ “You’re in love with them.” ⇢ “That’s not friendship, and you know it.” ⇢ “You made them soup. FUCKING SOUP. Just say you’re married already.” ⇢ “If I have to hear you talk about them one more time, I’m charging rent.”
Friends are the Greek chorus of this situation, like, brutally honest and endlessly tired.
ꕤ There’s always a moment they almost figure it out That one soft, unspoken beat where the truth almost breaks through.
⇢ Watching them laugh like it’s the first time. ⇢ Seeing them cry and wanting to fix it more than anything. ⇢ Realizing no one else makes them feel like this. ⇢ Thinking, God, they’re beautiful.
Then they blink, panic a little, and go, “Huh. Weird.” And move on. Like absolute fools.
ꕤ When it finally hits, it’s not cute, it’s catastrophic. Suddenly everything makes sense and feels like too much.
⇢ Flashbacks. ⇢ Internal screaming. ⇢ “Oh no.” ⇢ “OH MY GOD.” ⇢ “Has it always been this obvious??” ⇢ “Wait. Everyone knew?!”
Yes. Everyone. The friends, the neighbor’s cat. You were the only two who didn’t get the memo...
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New SuHak illustration from Akatsuki no Yona Volume 46!
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anyway you should always remember that all those foreigners you see dying on the news are just as real people as you are who have just as much interiority as you do. there is nothing about you that makes you more important and it is by pure chance that you are not in their position. in fact, this holds for all of history. every person, no matter the horror of the fate that befell them, had just as much interiority as you do. i feel like some people haven't fully internalized this.
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stay earnest, be crazy, study study study, flirt with philosophy, cry at 2am then ace the test, fall in love with sentences, question everything, romanticize gray weather, seek truth like its art, read freud for fun, argue like you’re defending a dissertation, quote camus in casual texts, fear nothing but mediocrity
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Considering Suho woke from a two year long coma, his quiet reaction to Sieun is completely valid. Follow me if you will:
you wake up fully from a world of strange, muted sounds
people around you tell you have been out for 1-2 years
but wait— didn’t you just black out in the boxing ring?
you find out that the boy you once considered to be your friend suffered 0 legal consequences for his actions and skipped town
you find out that your close and only friend crashed out, took such violent revenge on everyone in that boxing ring for you that he had to transfer schools
you find out that for two years, the said boy has been visiting you nearly everyday after school, writing and sending guilt laden and heartbroken messages to your phone number, asking when you'll wake up
you read the said messages. it's a long list.
you can't walk or fight for the forseeable future
you ask somebody to call the boy after some time, to ask him to meet you
you finally see him, but is it really a finally for you? after all, it just feels like yesterday that you said you will see him tomorrow. and you are seeing him. but he's different. grown a little. he has a small group of friends with him.
of course you're happy for him, but
you are suddenly nineteen without your permission. the world has moved on without you
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Sometimes it feels like you've lived your whole life in a house that's always a little bit on fire. Like it's usually just in one room and you make sure to wet the walls around it so it doesn't spread and that usually works. You were expected to take more responsibility over fire containment when you were like seven because it's not like you can expect your parents to always be 100% on guard about making sure the whole house doesn't catch fire, and you figure that's just how things are like.
And sometimes as a kid you visit your friends' homes and some of then whisper to you - grimacing with embarrassment - about how they're not supposed to tell anyone this, but there's a whole room in their house that's currently on fire. And you're like yeah it's ok I'm not supposed to tell people about the way our house is a little bit on fire all the time, too. And then you visit some other friend's house and there's no trace of fire anywhere, and you think "wow, these people are really good at hiding their house fire."
And one day you show up to work like "hey sorry I'm late, I forgot to wet the walls before going to bed last night and my whole house burned down", and you're startled by the way people react, acting like that must be the worst thing that has ever happened to you. And you're just like "chill, it's been years since the last time this happened, and it wasn't even that bad this time", and that just makes people more shocked, acting like that's the weirdest and most concerning thing they've ever heard anyone say, which only confuses you more.
And then someone tries to explain to you that people aren't supposed to have an ongoing house fire. Most people actually never experience a house fire in their lives. Like not even once. Not even a little bit. The normal amount of having your house be currently on fire is zero.
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currently in a hating myself phase that downright sucks but meh...
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My mom got phished in an EXTREMELY refined scam that pretty much anyone could fall for-- basically her account was already pre-hacked and they spoofed the bank's number exactly, called her pretending there was fraud, and read back legitimate and fake transactions and personal info so she wouldn't suspect they weren't the bank. Then discouraged her from logging in claiming the account was locked so they could investigate the fraud-- all so she wouldnt catch them making massive purchases using her stolen info.
We have the same boss and when she told him what happened he recommended she call the bank directly, so she did and they managed to catch it in time before $20k of transactions went through. Very scary
I guess the lesson here is never ever answer your phone, I love that fraud is so rampant an entire form of mass communication is now useless
ANYONE can fall for phishing scams- my mom is extremely smart and we discuss common scams that target her age demographic and she still fell for this. If it happened to me I may have fallen for it too. Always be careful!
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Literal definition of spyware:
Also From Microsoft’s own FAQ: "Note that Recall does not perform content moderation. It will not hide information such as passwords or financial account numbers. 🤡
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✏️ Writing Dialogue That Sounds Like Real People, Not Theater Kids on Red Bull
(a crash course in vibes, verbal economy, and making your characters shut up already)
Okay. We need to talk about dialogue. Specifically: why everyone in your draft sounds like they’re in a high school improv group doing a dramatic reading of Riverdale fanfiction.
Before you panic, this is normal. Early dialogue is almost always too much. Too polished. Too "scripted." So if yours feels off? You’re not failing. You’re just doing Draft Zero Dialogue, and it’s time to revise it like a boss.
Here’s how to fix it.
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🎭 STEP ONE: DETOX THEATER ENERGY I say this with love: your characters are not all quippy geniuses. They do not need to deliver emotional monologues at every plot beat. They can just say things. Weird, half-finished, awkward things.
Real people:
interrupt each other
trail off mid-thought
dodge questions
contradict themselves
repeat stuff
change the subject randomly
Let your characters sound messy. Not every line needs to sparkle. In fact, the more effort you put into making dialogue ✨perfect✨, the more fake it sounds. Cut 30% of your clever lines and see what happens.
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🎤 STEP TWO: GIVE EACH CHARACTER A VERBAL FINGERPRINT The fastest way to make dialogue feel alive? Make everyone speak differently. Think rhythm, grammar, vocabulary, tone.
Some dials you can twist:
Long-winded vs. clipped
Formal vs. casual
Emojis of speech: sarcasm, filler words, expletives, slang
Sentence structure: do they talk in fragments? Run-ons? Spirals?
Emotion control: are they blunt, diplomatic, avoidant, performative?
Here’s a shortcut: imagine what your character sounds like over text. Are they the “lol okay” type or the “okie dokie artichokie 🌈✨” one? Now translate that into speech.
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🧠 STEP THREE: FUNCTION > FILLER Every line of dialogue should do something. Reveal something. Move something. Change something.
Ask:
Does this line push the plot forward?
Does it show character motivation/conflict/dynamic?
Does it create tension, add context, or raise a question?
If it’s just noise? It’s dead air. Cut it. Replace it with a glance. A gesture. A silence that says more.
TIP: look at a dialogue scene and remove every third line. Does the scene still work? Probably better.
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💥 STEP FOUR: REACTIVITY IS THE GOLD STANDARD Characters don’t talk into a void. They respond. And how they respond = the real juice.
Don’t just write back-and-forth ping pong. Write conflict, dodge, misunderstanding. If one character says something vulnerable, the other might joke. Or ignore it. Or say something cruel. That’s tension.
Dialogue is not just information exchange. It’s emotional strategy.
Try this exercise: A says something revealing. B lies. A notices, but pretends they don’t. B changes the subject. Now you’ve got a real scene.
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🔍 STEP FIVE: PAY ATTENTION TO POWER Every convo has a power dynamic, even if it’s tiny. Who’s steering? Who’s withholding? Who’s deflecting, chasing, challenging?
Power can shift line to line. That shift = tension. And tension = narrative fuel.
Write conversations like chess matches, not ping pong.
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✂️ STEP SIX: SCISSORS ARE YOUR BEST FRIEND The best dialogue is often the second draft. Or third. Or fourth. First drafts are just you figuring out what everyone wants to say. Later drafts figure out what they actually would say.
Things to cut:
Greetings/closings ("Hi!" "Bye!"--skip it unless it serves tone)
Exposition disguised as chat
Obvious thoughts spoken aloud
Explaining jokes
Repeating what we already know
Readers are smart. Let them fill in blanks.
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🎧 STEP SEVEN: READ IT OUT LOUD (YES, REALLY) If you hate this step: too bad. It works. Read it. Mumbling is fine. Cringe is part of the ritual.
Ask yourself:
Would someone actually say this?
Does this sound like one person speaking, or a puppet show with one hand?
Where does the rhythm trip? Where’s the breath?
If you can’t say it out loud without wincing, the reader won’t make it either. Respect the vibe.
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🏁 TL;DR: If you want your dialogue to sound like real people, let your characters be real. Messy. Annoying. Human. Let them interrupt and lie and joke badly and say the wrong thing at the worst time.
Cut the improv class energy. Kill the urge to be ✨brilliant✨. And listen to how people talk when they’re scared, tired, pissed off, in love, or trying not to say what they mean.
That’s where the good stuff is.
—rin t. // thewriteadviceforwriters // official advocate of awkward silences and one-word replies
P.S. I made a free mini eBook about the 5 biggest mistakes writers make in the first 10 pages 👀 you can grab it here for FREE:
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this modern day fandom culture is killing me because we’re losing the art of shipping
these days you have to publish a dissertation and make a 100 page powerpoint with textual and subtextual evidence to back up the fact that you like seeing two characters together because apparently people can only ship what’s canon now
back in my day we used to be able to ship characters who never interacted,
we used to ship characters that didn’t even exist within the same media
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I feel like some people need to relearn Genre Expectations... "Man, this tragedy sucks!!! Why didn't they just do XYZ, then everything could have ended happily!!" well, then it wouldn't be a tragedy, would it. "Man, this lighthearted teen romcom is terrible, it's so sappy and unrealistic!!" Well, yeah. If it had been gritty and dark, it wouldn't have been a lighthearted romcom, would it. Is the writing actually bad or are you just trying to order a milkshake from a Home Depot
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