rizepies

[rizepies]

[rizepies]

I broke something at my friend's house.

As a trauma response I started crying and was so scared.

My inner child was so scared.

[rizepies]

I deman you to do it ?

[rizepies]

Constantly switching between healing and complete self destruction

[rizepies]

im so tired of being obsessed with people who dont care about me

[rizepies]

that time of the year when you realize the depression isn’t seasonal

[rizepies]

[rizepies]

Switching between these every day

[rizepies]

*quietly, from under 6 blankets* what the fuck

[rizepies]

[rizepies]

backshots this, backshots that, i would like to be taken out back and shot

[rizepies]

as soon as the internet decided depression and anxiety were the everyman mental illnesses and therefore not to be taken seriously we were all fucked tbh bc the fact that i have to feel embarrassed to admit i have debilitating anxiety because people will think im just an uwu dont call me out coward is ridiculous. its insane that i have to clarify that my depressive episodes are like life threatening and not whatever dipshit dumbed down idea of depression people seem to have like oh yeah i just wanna watch netflix and eat ice cream and not text people back. like bro i think im the devil

[rizepies]

yeah alcohol is cool but have you ever been someone's first choice? me neither. pass the bottle.

[rizepies]

The Price Of Breath

they say “but you survived”,

like it’s some kind of blessing,

like I should wear it

like a crown,

not a chain.

but survival is not mercy—

it is waking up

in a body I begged

to stop breathing.

it is dragging days

like broken limbs,

each one heavier

than the last.

I didn’t want this.

not the light,

not the lessons,

not the second chance.

I wanted silence.

I wanted the soft black

of nothing.

but here I am—

heart still betraying me

with its rhythm,

lungs filling

with the weight

of another unwanted dawn.

[rizepies]

[rizepies]

[rizepies]

Haven't left my house in months and it feels impossible to step out of the door. It's so easy to slide right back into a bad state, it went so fast but then again, my perception of time is completely gone as well