rkyooa - Tumblr blog

[rkyooa]

wow... i never thought i’d be writing this message on yooa. when you form a muse that you come to love so much, who is so iconic to you that it’s the character most associate with you, you never really envision writing the goodbye / farewell post on them. yooa has been in this roleplay for four years, and in royal entertainment as a trainee for almost three years, real time. yooa is by far my longest running muse i have ever had in my entire roleplaying career (which dates back to 2012 if you can believe it). she’s been through so much - an engagement, family estrangement, being a trainee, being a variety host, being in a web drama, having a girlfriend. there is so much she has accomplished and i’m very, very proud of her and how far she has come. 

it’s true there is more she could accomplish if she were to continue here in rookies. she could go on to debut, she could become the leader of the next royal girl group, be their main dancer, one of their centers, one of the members who goes on variety shows, even become a cf fairy if she worked hard at it. there’s a lot she could do, a lot she had her heart set on at one point, but things change. people change, and yooa as a muse has changed. her path isn’t here anymore, and trying to force her down the same road she doesn’t want to travel would just destroy us both. 

yooa has found her peace. she’s content and happy with what she has done and she’s ready to move on. she has other desires, things she wants to do that being a trainee stops her from doing, that being in rookies stops her from doing. she wants to go to design school and start her own line one day, she wants to go back to modelling, and she wants to marry her ex-fiance and soulmate, toshi. she wants ALL THE BABIES and she wants them NOW. well not now but she wants to get started on that in the next few years. she doesn’t want to live the idol life anymore. it’s a dream she’s been chasing for a while now, but if you stare at a star for too long eventually it just becomes a white dot in the sky.

ooc, yooa has always been my number one, main muse until the past six-ish months. she was my first muse that really stuck here in rookies, the first one signed as a trainee - she was the first for a lot of things here in rk for me. she’s very significant in my rp history, and i like to think she became significant to rookies too. she’s been here for ages, how could she not? within royal girls, anyways, she felt like someone the others could come to for help or advice, and she made a great effort to try to care for each and every one of them. she’s going to miss them and her other friends she’s made here in rookies terribly, but for now it’s time to say goodbye. thank you to everyone who played a significant role in her time here, we both will never forget it~

[rkyooa]

taste of karma.

shiah is pretty excited that she’ll have the chance to meet some of the karma members with this recording. shiah was a fan of them, for sure. not as big a fan as she was of luxe, of course, but she loved yujin, a fellow model she had connected with here and there, and as a dancer shiah couldn’t help but admire and look up to kil. doyeon was multi-faceted and charismatic, too. hopefully shiah’s gay side didn’t pop out too hard when they showed up and they started recording. 

when the members of karma do show up, shiah immediately grabs taeyeon’s hand for comfort and strength. she feels weak in the knees seeing such powerful, commanding performers, especially since she aspired to be like them so much. they had this dominating air about them that took over the room itself. she stared in awe as they made their way on set, and she made full ninety degree bows when greeting them. she thought she was going to cry at one point, but she managed to keep it together.

“unnie, they’re so cool..” she whispers into the other girl’s ear, squeezing her hand harder. “i want to be like them one day.. they’re so beautiful and charismatic..” usually shiah was pretty confident in herself, but in their presence she felt so small and inferior. it wasn’t in an insecure way, rather it was her seeing them as a goal to meet for herself. she was a little shy because of it, finding it hard to look them in the eye, and she ended up blushing and giggling here and there whenever one of them looked her in the eye. she even hid behind taeyeon at one point, giggling away in her embarrassment. she couldn’t help it! they were her idols!

[rkyooa]

@shiahplumprincess

can never have too much mint~ 

[rkyooa]

yooa ♡ oh my girl sketchbook 2 ep 6

[rkyooa]

rkxskm‌:

flyer at @rkyooa

He should have done this a while ago but Seokwoo is best at avoiding responsibility until the last minute. So when he’s trying to avoid writing up his term paper and fixing up his portfolio, just in time for summer, along with evaluations around the corner, the singing instantly remembers that he has important flyers to hand out. Dropping everything important in his life, he goes about his day handing flyers.

“So apparently this is what I do when I’m not hiding away in a practice room. ” Handing one over into Yooa’s hands as his friend walks pass him from the corner stop where Seokwoo stood handing out Nova flyers. “I hope this flyer brings you joy, in whatever way possible and with that, I bid you good day ma’lady.”

it had been a while since she had been stopped and given a flyer for another company, and she can’t help but shake her head and chuckle at the sight of the flyer. what got her even more, however, was the person who was handing it off to her. he knew she was already signed to royal, what was this kid on? she chuckles, shaking her head as she accepts it. “you’re one weird kid, you know that? i’ll be sure to audition for nova right away.” 

she throws him a wink, then decides to fold up the flyer into a little paper airplane, opening it up to press a kiss print into it. she makes sure his back is turned while she does this, then aims the paper plane at the back of his head and sends it flying so it dinks him right in the noggin. “have fun with the rest of your flyers nova boy!” she waves to him, bouncing off her heels and strutting away.

「 ’ overdue flyers #9」

[rkyooa]

rkrose‌:

if this year was going to be rose’s last year at royal, she had to go out with a bang. well, that’s what she decided her approach to the new year was going to be. she had the intention to give it her all and once again, her training had come and consumed her. she spent her time at seocho and royal well, putting in time and actual effort into perfecting her daily routines along with this month’s evaluation, which rose was actually enjoying for once. she couldn’t really pin point why but something about this one felt different. so maybe that was a good thing. 

amidst their evaluation preparation, shiah approaches an unsuspecting rose who is neck deep in prep work, which usually involves her memorizing choreography. her stern expression changes the moment she sees the older female walk into the room. “ah, shiah~” rose chimes, brushing her hair back from her face, waving a little. but shiah is forward, much more forward than rose is. “uh, i guess?” rose asks, raising an eyebrow. she glances around herself at the studio she was sat in. once, she wouldn’t be caught dead staying back late, but now she had nothing else to do. she had to stay back and practice, rose had to prove herself and royal that she needed this.

“somaek and noraebang, huh?” rose asks, reaching for her drink bottle, which she takes a swig from. a night out probably wouldn’t hurt, it might motivate her to work a little harder. she just doesn’t want to push herself too hard tonight, because she’ll regret it tomorrow.

“yes, both of those things.” shiah was trying hard to remain assertive in this request of her’s, and she felt slightly uneasy that rose hadn’t said an affirmative yes yet. she holds for a moment, another, and then... she melts, shuffling over with drooped shoulders and wrapping her arms around rose from behind, burying her face into the back of the other girl’s shoulder. 

“pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?”

shiah typically didn’t get clingy or whip out light aegyo, but again, she was desperate here. “that boot camp was awful, and life is awful, and we deserve some fun. i’ll buy?” shiah was never worried about money, so offering to treat the other came pretty easily. she’d make good on it too. “i’ll help you organize all your sheet music and stuff too. come on, this is a really good deal here, you should totally take it!” she props her head up, craning it to look at rose and she beams at her. if this thousand watt smile didn’t work, shiah didn’t know what would. 

she pulls back and take rose’s hand with both of her own, lightly trying to drag her out of the room while bouncing on her feet. “please, please, please~” shiah was no quitter, so she wasn’t going to give up without a fight here.

we’re the afterlife.

[rkyooa]

rkjisoo‌:

as someone who has this tendency to be selective when it comes to the people that she trusts, she can understand how hard this must be for the other female. relationships in itself is such a tricky subject to start talking about, given the nature of their work. it comforts her to know that for the two of them, these things come somewhat easily. it goes to show just how much they trust each other. 

“i cannot say for sure that it is a common thing but it definitely happens to me as well.” came her honest response. “it was the sort of feeling that comes in the most unexpected moments. something that takes awhile to leave.” she continues. it took her a few months back then to feel like herself again. yet even now, she cannot quite say that the guilt has thoroughly dissipated. despite her happiness, she sees him and then suddenly she is reminded of her mistakes. the wrong decisions which costed not just her conscience but as well as his pain. watching shiah, jisoo cannot help but sigh in sadness. it was such a difficult situation; the kind that you understand but cannot do nothing about. “personally, i find that acknowledging my sadness and pain was a good first step. knowing why i feel the way that i do makes everything a lot easier to accept.”

it’s hard to define just how grateful she is to jisoo in this moment. every conversation they had always felt so easy, and she was just really happy and relieved to have someone to trust easily among the girls. shiah liked to be the one the others relied on if needed, so shiah having someone she could rely on too was comforting. she’d never take jisoo for granted, that was for sure. 

“mm.. you’re not wrong about that.” even the smallest, simplest things were reminding shiah of seulgi here and there. it was so tough, to be fine one moment and then desolate the next. there was this feeling of being lost. seulgi had become a part of her for the longest time, and now she was on her own. come to think of it. shiah had hopped from one long term relationship to the next for quite some time now. she wasn’t often single, it was weird. she liked to think she could be independent, but it was actually proving somewhat difficult to really remember a time where she had been on her own and content. was she co-dependent? “i don’t think i really know how to be single... i’ve almost always been in a relationship for the longest time. is that strange?” she’s never intended to do that, it just sort of happened that way. “you’re right though, i need to accept my feelings, not try to push them away or hide them with false happiness.”

one more lonely girl.

[rkyooa]

[rkyooa]

welcome to IQS! with yooa, @rkxtaeyeon and @rkpcy  featuring @rkohsehun and @jacerk

shiah had been down in the dumps, but slowly she was pulling out of it. in all honesty, it was mostly thanks to taeyeon and her energy she brought to the set. working with her was so refreshing, shiah felt safe around her. because of her unnie and the friendliness she brought, as well as her excitement simply to be working with shiah, shiah herself was able to get into the filming more and bring her own personality, charms, and enthusiasm to the games being played. she was able to just be herself and shine a lot more than she would’ve had she simply been on her own and combating all of her demons at the same time. taeyeon was a beautiful distraction from all of that right now. 

chanyeol was also really nice, and she was glad taeyeon had tackled her with love and excitement before she had properly met chanyeol. rather than being in the dumps and being soft spoken and quiet at best when meeting him, she was able to be more true to herself, allowing her bubbly nature to shine through a bit more. she was also scoping him out, because she had only ever seen photos of him from jisoo, and she knew very well that they had been together for some time. she tried not to think back to how she had found out, that lunch they had where shiah herself had gushed over her own girlfriend at the time, but it’s hard not to recall it all. she had been happy though, so there was no reason to be sad. she was just grateful that jisoo was still content her own affairs of the heart. chanyeol was good enough for her jisoo, she supposed. maybe. she’d keep an eye on him. 

the filming itself was fun, and shiah was becoming more and more grateful for this opportunity. she had been in the royal dungeon for so long. it wasn’t like rose or lisa where they had had a lot of exposure already. shiah had had barely any, just an appearance for a special performance, that was it. she hadn’t been able to show her true personality yet, and the fact that she had this opportunity to represent herself and her status as a royal trainee, part of the royal family... it was truly amazing. she also had the opportunity to flaunt her dance skills and show off what she’s truly made of publicly, on a grander platform than she’s ever had before. 

finally, she was also able to work with sehun, who was a great friend of her’s, and bantering him had been more than entertaining. everything was just... comfortable. extremely so. she was much more of a natural at this than she thought she was, and it was amazing. she couldn’t wait for the next episode filming, honestly. 

[rkyooa]

@rkyooa​

Yooa & Taeyeon are team against the whomever turns up at the house so they are win games against the guests which means it will be ultimate girl power. She genuinely loves the fact she is working alongside with Yooa so on the day of filming she runs over to her friends grabbing the younger females hands bouncing excitedly, “This is exciting right?! We going to be regular guests on this show! We need to think of duo name! Maybe something about our sisterly bond or looks or something– not sure~” she suggested as she really was super hyped at the fact they get team up against the convex boys today so they must have strategics on how to win or at least figure some sort of game plan. Taeyeon loves the convex boys but they can’t let them win especially when there is actual prizes involved, it is just part of competitive nature.

as much as shiah hadn’t been the most thrilled about actually getting this gig, the more she learned about it, the more she was growing to like it and appreciate it. she had trained for variety gigs, so this was good for her should she want to pursue such endeavors in the future. getting to work with taeyeon, though, was a breath of fresh air. being approached so excitedly by her instantly brought a smile to her face, one that was actually genuine for a change. it was nice. maybe she was actually starting to get better? “this is exciting! i’m so happy to be working with you unnie. we’re going to have so much fun!” she squeezes the elder’s hands, affirming her enthusiasm. shiah was also thrilled that she’d be up against sehun today as one of the guests. sehun was her good friend, she was just being surrounded by really good people for this gig, and she couldn’t be happier. “hm... angel face? would that work?” 

* fairy sisters

[rkyooa]

one step, two step.

as much as shiah didn’t want to use training as a crutch to deal with everything going on and distract herself from... all of her emotions and feelings and junk, here she was, throwing herself hardcore into dance training. if anything was a safe haven, it was dance. it was her strongest skill as a performer, and the easiest thing for her to fall into as a safety net when things went rough. 

it was pretty expected for shiah to find lisa in the dance studios. she had noticed the other was working on her dance skills, and honestly? lisa was a pretty damn good dancer. their relationship hadn’t been the smoothest, but shiah had held a respect for her work ethic the entire time she had known her, and it only grew each time she saw her or worked with her. 

she shoots the other girl a friendly smile as she walks into the studio. “hey, what’re you working on?” it was casual, slightly curious. shiah didn’t want to come as desperate for a distraction. what she was dealing with right now wasn’t lisa’s problem. if anything, shiah was just hoping for a nice, pleasant time with a fellow trainee. they had collaborated before too, so shiah was genuinely interested to see what lisa had been cooking up recently for dance training. 

@rklisa 

[rkyooa]

rkjisoo‌:

with the way that shiah guided her to sit down, jisoo knew that the matter at hand is not something to be taken lightly. she presumes it has a lot to do with work—perhaps her attitude? yet she knows she has never been hostile or nonchalant when it comes to the other trainee. in fact, she cares a great deal for shiah unlike she does to just about any other person. safe to say, it has to be something else.

yet of all the things to talk about, jisoo did not expect it to be that one.

“no, i’m so sorry.” she mutters, squeezing shiah’s hand back. it was a message of comfort; the silent whispers of her hope that she is alright despite the heavy feeling she must be carrying in her heart. she wants to ask the question of ‘what happened’ but she understands that it might be a moment that shiah does not want to relieve. it would just have to be a memory she would learn about some other time. instead, she listens. answers the question because she can see how there is a great comfort in empathizing with someone’s heartbreak. “i was at some point.” she recalls. “it was the kind of sadness that grips you. even worse, it was the suffocating kind. the one where my guilt eats me up because i know that everything was my fault.”

even jisoo’s presence and attentive ear was enough to help shiah ease the pain a little. it was nice to have someone who was willing to listen, and genuinely cared for her well being. with the way people had come and gone as trainees in royal, it was hard to open up and trust people at this point - they always ended up leaving, shiah was grateful she had jisoo, at least. just one person was enough to make this easier on her. 

shiah nods, understanding where jisoo is coming from and what she means. “i was wondering if the feeling of being unable to breathe was a common thing, or if it was just me.” shiah had dealt with anxiety before, so she was wondering if she was just prone to it being a default reaction to big things in life or not. hearing what jisoo describes makes her feel better. she’s not weird, nor alone in how she’s reacting to this. “the thing that sucks the most about this is that it’s neither of our faults. it’s just the situation, the circumstance, and i completely understand. i get it, it just hurts.” shiah would still support seulgi in any and everything she wanted to do, no question. she just... needed time to heal from this, and she needed help figuring out how to do that. “how did you get over it?” 

one more lonely girl.

[rkyooa]

[rkyooa]

rkkangjoon‌:

the moment she started to talk, kang joon knew she wasn’t ok at all. yooa sounded tired and down, maybe training wasn’t going the way she wanted it to, maybe she had been scolded just like he had been a few months ago. she was right, he was busy preparing for debut now, but how would he be able to focus, when he knew of a friend in need? “what happened?” he asks, concern building up in his voice, the initial playfulness gone at the spot. usually he wasn’t the first guy coming to mind, whenever his friends needed someone to talk to, but he was more reliable than one would assume.

while walking down the streets towards the dorms, kang joon let his eyes wander, as he listened to her story. he knew she had been in a relationship for a while, though he had never heard any details. probably due to the same reasons most trainee couples tried to keep things as secret as possible. kang joon knew too well how toxic the industry could become for relationships, he knew how easily it was to break apart, when their dream were on stake.

before he was able to reply and tell her, he would come to any place she would tell him, she hangs up on him. perplexed he stares at the black screen, a message popping right up. after checking the sent address, he turns around and gets on his way. it’s been a while, since he had met her, and it was a little sad they would see each other again under such circumstances. as soon as he got there, he knocked at the door.

“I’m here.”

for once, shiah isn’t worried about her status and how her guest would interpret it. usually she kept it under wraps that she was from old money and had lived a socialite life for a while. she trusted kangjoon though, and she didn’t really think he’d be one to judge her for it. others had, but kangjoon was a genuine soul. it’d be fine. 

she hears the knock at the door and she tells the housekeeper not to answer. she shuffles off moving to answer it, and there he stands. he came, right away. holy crap. that was relieving, but also gave a sense of impending doom since she knew her emotions were about to run wild again. “h-hey, come in.” she steps aside, holding the door open so he can come in. she grabs a pair of guest slides for him and drops them by his feet for him, then vaguely gestures towards the living area. “thank you for coming.”

shiah’s a wreck. she’s in comfy clothes, her hair is pulled back in a sloppy bun, and her face is bare and raw, red with remnants of her tears from the day. her eyes are swollen, her lips have been bit to the point of bleeding here and there. she’s just... not doing well. before she sits down, she shuffles up to him, sliding her arms around his middle loosely and laying against his chest in a weak hug. “seriously... thank you...” 

fall to pieces.

[rkyooa]

rkjisoo‌:

counting down the minutes, she glances at the watch wrapped around her wrist earnestly. quite frankly, she is ready to leave. a whole day spent inside these walls will never not be suffocating for her despite the past two years that she has been around. there is something about spending too much time in one place that makes the soles of her feet itch. even when there is really no other place to go to except home, she is looking forward to it. anywhere but here after so many hours would be considered solace.

glancing to her left, she shakes her head in response at the older female’s question. “i have time.” came her voice. “we are about to finish and i would rather sit and calm myself down rather than to move about.” she explains, eyebrows furrowing as she looks at shiah with worry evident in her brown eyes. after all, it is not everyday that you hear such words strung together. “is there anything bothering you?” a pause. “are you okay?”

that was a relief. she visibly relaxes a little. it was always hard reaching out and putting herself out there, but at least jisoo was being consistently reliable for shiah. each time shiah needed to reach out, she was sure it’d get easier and easier to ask jisoo specifically. shiah doesn’t answer her questions right away, first glancing around to make sure they were alone before taking her hand and guiding her to sit down with her. 

“seulgi and i broke up.” 

it was tough, really tough, to say out loud. shiah was keeping it together right now, for the time being, but she could feel emotions start to brew around in her chest as she breached the topic. “i... don’t know how to handle it, really. we were together for so long, and i don’t want to use training as a crutch to get over it.” she squeezes jisoo’s hand a little, feeling incredibly vulnerable and almost uncomfortable about it, but she was being brave and opening up. “have you ever dealt with a break up like that? where you were together so long and you can’t even be mad at the person, it’s just... sad?” 

one more lonely girl.

[rkyooa]

rkxskm‌:

rkyooa‌:

She had a calming and refreshing aura, at least that’s what he thought no unless this just proves that he hasn’t been around anyone aside from his usual training mates. Whichever the case it may be, Seokwoo welcomes her presence like a sunflower being grazed by the first ray of sunlight. “That’s probably the best way to go about it but then I’ll have to clean out my bags by the end of the night cause I reckon it’ll just be filled with crumbs or something- like a squishy banana.” His nose childishly scrunching up. 

Mimicking her, he opens up his energy bar and sits up cross-legged. “ah ‘personal issues’ as though people around here got time for a personal life or for that matter, lives outside this place.” he can’t help but toss her a cheeky grin. It was obvious to the only two people in that room that he was playing hide and seek from his personal conflict, her power of observation has him a little more intrigued about her. Seokwoo lets out a more genuine laugh this time around, “Oh that I want to see, but I’m not surprised last week when I opened the supply closet I saw empty snacks and pillows there, I think another trainee might have been nesting there.” 

“i wish we didn’t have the time for it, but the heart wants what it wants sometimes. people crave social lives, and those lives come with ups and downs no matter how busy with training we are.” she sighs softly, hugging her knees to her chest. “like me, for instance. i’m going through a break up right now. a year and a half, and now it’s all over. i was a trainee the whole time, too.” she gives a small shrug before resting her cheek atop her knees, looking off to the side at him. “what about you? what are you hiding from?” 

she chews, swallows, then laughs. “yeah, sounds about right. i’ve done it before at the royal building. i slept under a bench in the dance studio. my coach found me the next morning, then went out and got me a small something for breakfast since actual breakfast wasn’t being served yet. just imagine how early that was.” she hums out another small laugh at the memory. that was back in her earlier days when her insecurities had been running rampant. “balance is key though. you have to balance your life out if you want to survive being a trainee and make it to debut.”

horizon.

[rkyooa]

mc shiah

wow, she actually got it. she got an mc gig for one of the variety shows samsung was auditioning people for. shiah had mixed feelings over it, since it wasn’t quite the one she wanted, plus she hadn’t even been trying that hard for one of the gigs. she had just been doing it so the opportunity wasn’t missed, but now here she was with a gig to give her public exposure. it was crazy! would she even pull it off properly?

the show seemed pretty fun from what the person in charge had said - or at least she figured that person was in charge, since they were the one shiah met with to find out she had been casted. she’d have two other mcs with her, one would be the host and two would be the mc team. shiah didn’t have a lot of hosting training so she figured she’d be on the mc team rather than being the main mc. nothing was clear though, she just knew the run down of the show and that she would be doing it. she’d also be meeting lots of idols and--

oh...

shiah was professional, it would be fine. the likelihood of running into her so soon on this show after everything was pretty low, it’d be fine. it’s not like shiah never wanted to see her again, she just needed a little time. she felt full of paranoia about running into her around every corner though, mostly because she didn’t know how she’d feel.