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pt 1 / pt 2 / pt 3 / pt 4

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For when stabbing someone doesn’t have enough erotic subtext…

Patreon - everything else

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How many weapons is it practical for a fantasy character to carry?

Assuming no magic is involved, the answer might be more than you’d expect!

Patreon - everything else

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may have forgotten exactly how many stupid bbc robin hood memes I made

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It’s all good fun, until somebody loses an aaAAARRrrgghh!

Hey, I have a Patreon

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{Robin Hood BBC} Robin & Marian

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{Robin Hood BBC} Show Me The Money - 2x07

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Alycia talking about Lexa, the BYG movement, and fans

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Archery: expectations vs reality vs reality again! REJECT THE BORING VERSION OF REALITY AND SUBSTITUTE THE FUN ONE!

You can find the College of Arrows here join us and be an Archery Bard! Or something

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Why do we segregate sports by sex?

Disclaimer: this video was intended as a fun look at the inconsistent logic of gender segregation in sports, but as a short-form video, it naturally does not go into much nuance. One thing I want to make clear is that I do believe we should be making sports more inclusive to trans and intersex athletes, and it seems to me that a great starting point would be to stop gender segregating sports that really don’t need it. Like archery!

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This is a super common problem for beginner archers, so here are some ways to avoid it!

For more archery tutorials, join my College of Arrows (yes it's a Bard subclass reference)

Or support these videos and get bonus content on Patreon

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Playing music with a bow! (The archery kind)

With thanks to everyone who pointed out the existence of these fascinating instruments (and apologies to every Berimbau player out there). Go check out Naná Vasconcelos to see an example of a skilled player!

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5 ridiculous fantasy archery tropes (that actually work)

Sometimes in my line of work, it's easy to spend a lot of time talking about things that are fake, or wrong, but my joy always comes from talking about things that DO work.

Here are 5 of my favourite archery tropes that may seem ridiculous at first, but are genuinely doable!

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Exiled (Pt. 2)

Gisborne Manor. Several Weeks Later. Main Room. (Roger nervously sits in a chair by the fireplace. Ghislaine opens the front door and comes in, not noticing her husband at first. She closes the door, turns and is startled to see him. She regains her composure and smiles at him.) Ghislaine: “Roger, I did not expect to see you. I was restless, I went for a ride.” Roger: (Barely looking at her.) “Of course. (A long pause.) And on this ride, did you happen to see anyone? Your lover perhaps?” Ghislaine: (Stunned:) “How did you know?” Roger: (Looks at Ghislaine.) “Because I am your husband.” (Roger stares into the fire. Ghislaine comes over to him and kneels at his feet.) Ghislaine: “And I have failed you as a wife.” (She picks up his bandaged hand and puts her forehead to it.) Roger: “No. (Roger puts his other hand on hers and Ghislaine looks up at him:) It is I who failed you… leaving you alone and returning like this.”

Ghislaine: “No, Roger.” Roger: “You will never know how grateful I am that you’ve kept my secret…(Ghislaine fights to hold back her tears:)… and allowed me to see out my days with you and the children. And I’m glad you’ve found someone who will care for you when I’ve gone. (He pulls up on her hands. She stands and he guides her back into the facing chair, still holding her hands:) All I ask is that he has the patience to wait until that day.” (Ghislaine makes a pained face.)

Sherwood Forest. Night. (Ghislaine waits in the woods. Her lover gallops towards her on his horse. Ghislaine smiles sadly as he approaches on foot and hugs her.) Ghislaine: “I have done what I thought was right. I have stayed away from you, but you have no idea how hard that’s been. But you understand I had to care for Roger. He told me he was infected in France. All he wanted was to get back home and spend his last days with his family. He made his own way home, away from his soldiers, so they wouldn’t know.” Man: “People will know. His affliction cannot be hidden for long.” Ghislaine: “He is a sick man!” Man: “He is a leper! If he is discovered, you will all be cast out. (Ghislaine starts to cry. The man pulls Ghislaine into an embrace:) You should not have been put in this position, Ghislaine.” (In the trees, Longthorn is spying on them. He steps on a twig, alerting the lovers of his presence. He merely smiles gleefully at this revelation, then strides off towards Gisborne.) Gisborne Manor. (Ghislaine hurriedly enters the house.) Ghislaine: “Roger… you must go. (Roger frowns:) No, not for me. For yourself. Now.” Roger: “I don’t understand.” Ghislaine: (Quietly:) “I’m sorry. I thought that I was doing the right thing. You must leave right away. (Somebody pounds on the door. Ghislaine chokes down a sob:) Not already.” (Swain opens the door. Roger stands. Longthorn follows Swain in. Guy and Isabella come halfway down the stairs in their nightclothes.) Swain: “Sir Roger, I think you know why we’re here.” (Ghislaine can barely control her tears.)

Gisborne. The Next Morning. (Roger of Gisborne walks stoically through the village in the mist, the small cowbell round his neck jingling. Swain, Longthorn, Ghislaine with Guy and Isabella follow him behind the church to a freshly dug grave. Roger stands at its foot. The others and the villagers gather behind him, several paces off.) Ghislaine: (Upon seeing the open grave:) “Oh… (to Swain:) Oh, will you not show him mercy?” Swain: “I’m sorry. This is God’s will. (Roger looks round, then jumps in the grave and turns to face the people. Ghislaine starts to cry:) Roger of Gisborne, you are a leper…” Guy: “Mother, please.” Swain: “… and, as such, are to be cast out from the society of others.” Guy: “No, don’t let them do this!” Roger: “Guy! You must act like a man and not a child. Do not shame me.” (Guy hangs his head.) Swain: “From this day forward you are deemed unclean. Do you understand?” Roger: (Nods once:) “I do.” Swain: “As his wife, you may go with him… or you may declare yourself a widow and be free of your impediment.” Ghislaine: (Shakes her head. Incredulously:) “Impediment? He is my husband!” Roger: “Ghislaine, you must set an example for the children.” (Ghislaine sighs and bites her lip. Roger waits expectantly.) Swain: “Do you declare?” (Roger nods at her in encouragement.) Ghislaine: (Fighting back tears:) “Yes. From today I am a widow.” (Roger is saddened upon hearing her words aloud.) Swain: “Very well. Roger of Gisborne, I forbid you ever to enter any church, market, tavern, or any assembly of people. I forbid you to drink or eat from any vessel but your own. (Ghislaine breaks down:) I forbid you to touch any child…(Roger looks up, exasperated:) Now you must leave this place.” (Roger turns around, walks to the far end of the grave, and tries to climb out, but can’t. Guy strides over and offers an arm to Roger. Roger accepts and Guy pulls him out.) Roger: “Thank you. Care for your mother and sister. You are the man of the house now. Care for them all.” (Roger leaves up the hill.) Guy: “Father…!” (Guy watches his father go up the hill, his bell ringing faintly. Ghislaine watches him, and a tear falls down her cheek.)

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Sins Of The Father (Pt. 1)

It is a troubling time for England… (Following the murder of Thomas Beckett, international pressure on King Henry II grew. The Catholic church was infuriated by Henry’s lack of interest in finding Beckett’s killers and in May 1172 Henry negotiated a settlement with the papacy in which the King swore to go on a crusade to appease Rome. But Henry was already fighting a war with France and at home. Henry and Eleanor had eight children. As they grew up, tensions over the future inheritance of the empire began to emerge, encouraged by Louis and his son King Philip II. In 1173 Henry’s heir apparent, “Young Henry”, rebelled in protest; he was joined by his brother Geoffrey and by their mother, Eleanor. Two of the King’s other sons, Richard and his favoured son, John swore allegiance to their father and would strive to put an end to the revolt.)

Meanwhile, in Nottingham. (A young boy kneels at the side of a grave on the grassy hillside overlooking Locksley. His father stands by the cross with his bow. The grave is that of the child’s mother and the child’s name is Robin.) Robin: “Do you think Mother watches us…from heaven?” Malcolm: “Yes, son. I’m sure she does. I’m sure she sees everything we do.” Robin: “I wish she were still with us.” (Malcolm solemnly nods his head then kneels by Robin and puts his hand on his shoulder.) Malcolm: “Robin, one day you will be Lord of Locksley, lord of my lands. You must grow up and learn to take on all of the responsibility that comes with it. It is not only ourselves that we must look after but the people of Locksley too. Together we must continue to make Locksley a place your mother would be proud of. Do you understand?” Robin: (Nods:) “Yes, father.” (Malcolm chuckles slightly, ruffles Robin’s hair then holds out his arms. Robin embraces his father.)

Gisborne. Barn. (A man waits in the barn. A dark-haired woman, Ghislaine, comes in, smiling.) Man: “Oh, Ghislaine. (Ghislaine runs to him.) I’ve been thinking about you all day.” (Ghislaine hugs him and the Man kisses her cheek. She speaks with a French accent.) Ghislaine: “We do not have much time, but if you wish to talk, then…” (Ghislaine kisses the Man.) Man: “Oh… Oh, I look forward to the day when we no longer have to hide in stables and outhouses to do this.” Ghislaine: “Mm. Not long now, my love.”  (She kisses him again. Through a crack in the wall, seventeen-year-old Guy of Gisborne watches them. Though unable to see the Man’s face, Guy runs off in anger.) Gisborne. Night. (The village is decorated for a celebration. A roasted pig is brought into the village. There are jugglers and fire-eaters and music. Lanterns have been strung round in a ring just outside the manor. Ghislaine comes out of the manor with her children.) Ghislaine: “Guy, Isabella, come with me. (She walks to the crowd and addresses them. Guy stands beside her, sullen because of his discovery earlier in the day.) Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so pleased you decided to join me in celebrating the safe return of our men from war. (The crowd quietens and gathers around her.) Sadly, not everyone was able to make the journey back, and I would ask that we think also of our loved ones who died on this day. As you know, I feel your pain, as it is my own, my own husband being among the dead.”  (Guy hangs his head, as does Isabella. Longthorn pushes through the crowd.) Longthorn: “My Lady Gisborne, as bailiff of these parts, it’s my duty to ask who will now be the lord of the manor?” Swain: “Longthorn! Now is not the time.” Ghislaine: “No. He is right to ask. There will be no lord. (Brightly:) Instead, there will be a lady of the manor.“ Longthorn: “So… we’re expected to serve a woman? (Longthorn looks around at the villagers:) A French woman? (The villagers laugh:) I don’t think so.”

Guy: (In warning :) “Longthorn…!” Longthorn: “This village was awarded to your husband for his services in the King’s army. Now he’s dead. (To the villagers:) Did you see the way she declared herself  ‘lady of the manor?’ She has no right to this estate.” (A horse whinnies and hoofbeats approach. A soldier riding a white horse stops behind the crowd and quickly dismounts.) Roger: “Stop! I command you to stop!” Longthorn: “On whose authority?” (The soldier strides quickly forward through the villagers.) Roger: “The King’s… as he made me lord of this land. I am Sir Roger of Gisborne.” Village Man: (Boldly:) “No!” Roger: (Turns round to glance at the villagers:) “What? You doubt my word?” Swain: “We thought you were dead.” Roger: “I was captured, not killed. (Looks at Longthorn and jerks his head to the side:) Out of my way.” (Longthorn draws his dagger.) Longthorn: “I cannot do that. (Roger stops abruptly in front of Longthorn, then backs off:) As bailiff, I must uphold the law.” Roger: “You are no longer bailiff. (Steps forward:) Out of my way! (Longthorn lashes out with the dagger. Roger puts his left hand up to block and the dagger goes right through it. Roger doesn’t make a sound as Guy throws off Longthorn and pushes him back. Ghislaine faces Roger, staring at the dagger in his hand as the people groan in horror. Roger pulls out the dagger, again with no sound or flinch of pain. to Longthorn:) You will never hold office again as long as I am lord of this manor.” (Roger throws down the dagger and goes to his family.) Ghislaine: “Roger. (She stares at him like a ghost:) They told…” Roger: “I was captured. There was no way to get word to you.” Ghislaine: “Captured? Did they hurt you?” Roger: (Shifts his feet, thinking:) “I must talk with you at once, Ghislaine.” (Roger walks past his wife, who is still frozen in place.)

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Do you let me walk with you? I do, I do, I do