rogue-of-broken-time

[rogue-of-broken-time]

to all the internet friends I used to be connected with in the past, I hope you're doing well wherever you are and whatever you're doing. I miss you and I love you.

[rogue-of-broken-time]

Goodbye, tumblr

Ironic that I'm posting this on my 7-year bloggiversary, but, yeah. Exactly what it says in the title.

I've been working a lot on taking care of myself and learning better coping skills for the past month. Having logged out of tumblr for that entire time made me realize that I had let social media run my emotions for me, and placing too much stock in that is unhealthy for anyone involved.

So, without further ado:

To anyone who still cares about me after everything that's happened, thank you for still being here. This blog was a huge part of my life for a long time, and anyone who's been around since I started pretty much knows how much it meant to me.

To anyone who left after seeing my vent post, I don't blame you. I know I blew all my chances. I've made a LOT of mistakes. And I've been in grief for a long time and felt "stuck" for even longer than that, but I think I'm finally moving forward. I'm learning how to set healthy boundaries and reframe my thoughts. And I can only hope that you're doing well, too.

To a certain somebody, I am so, so sorry. I know I made so many mistakes in the time that we had together, and again, I don't deserve another chance. I had unhealthy coping mechanisms and tried to cling to happiness in the only places I could find it at the time. You have every right to be bitter. But I was in a total mental health collapse, and you saw the worst side of me. You rightfully asked for help, and I'm sorry I reacted so poorly to that. Overall, I'm sorry I wasted our friendship… I hope you're doing well without me.

To a different certain somebody who might not even see this, I think you should take a good, long look in the mirror and grow up. Life isn't pretty sometimes, especially not during a total collapse of mental health, so the fact that you broadcasted my struggle and framed it as everything I am really hurt me. I don't hate you for it the way you probably hate me now, but your words left a huge scar on my heart that I'm still healing from. I hope you find closure in your constant anger, and I hope you can see the effect that you had.

To the JSE community, I'm sorry that I let you down.

To anyone reading this, I hope you know that I'm sorry to you, too. Doesn't matter who you are, how long you've been here, none of that. Genuinely, I hope you all can see the truth in my words here. I've been thinking a lot about what I'd eventually say whenever I came back, if anything, if ever, and I can't think of anything else to say but goodbye.

I'm not deactivating this account, on behalf of all the theories and things I've written over the years. It would pain me immensely to have no archive of that. But, in general, I'm not sure if I'm ever truly coming back. I might, someday. But for now, I'll be a lurker, if I even choose to open the site.

If you need or want to reach out to me, feel free to do so either here or on discord. I'll be checking both every now and again, but probably not nearly as much as I used to, so if you have anything to say to me, speak now.

Goodbye, tumblr. I'll miss you.

[rogue-of-broken-time]

Goodbye, tumblr

Ironic that I'm posting this on my 7-year bloggiversary, but, yeah. Exactly what it says in the title.

I've been working a lot on taking care of myself and learning better coping skills for the past month. Having logged out of tumblr for that entire time made me realize that I had let social media run my emotions for me, and placing too much stock in that is unhealthy for anyone involved.

So, without further ado:

To anyone who still cares about me after everything that's happened, thank you for still being here. This blog was a huge part of my life for a long time, and anyone who's been around since I started pretty much knows how much it meant to me.

To anyone who left after seeing my vent post, I don't blame you. I know I blew all my chances. I've made a LOT of mistakes. And I've been in grief for a long time and felt "stuck" for even longer than that, but I think I'm finally moving forward. I'm learning how to set healthy boundaries and reframe my thoughts. And I can only hope that you're doing well, too.

To a certain somebody, I am so, so sorry. I know I made so many mistakes in the time that we had together, and again, I don't deserve another chance. I had unhealthy coping mechanisms and tried to cling to happiness in the only places I could find it at the time. You have every right to be bitter. But I was in a total mental health collapse, and you saw the worst side of me. You rightfully asked for help, and I'm sorry I reacted so poorly to that. Overall, I'm sorry I wasted our friendship… I hope you're doing well without me.

To a different certain somebody who might not even see this, I think you should take a good, long look in the mirror and grow up. Life isn't pretty sometimes, especially not during a total collapse of mental health, so the fact that you broadcasted my struggle and framed it as everything I am really hurt me. I don't hate you for it the way you probably hate me now, but your words left a huge scar on my heart that I'm still healing from. I hope you find closure in your constant anger, and I hope you can see the effect that you had.

To the JSE community, I'm sorry that I let you down.

To anyone reading this, I hope you know that I'm sorry to you, too. Doesn't matter who you are, how long you've been here, none of that. Genuinely, I hope you all can see the truth in my words here. I've been thinking a lot about what I'd eventually say whenever I came back, if anything, if ever, and I can't think of anything else to say but goodbye.

I'm not deactivating this account, on behalf of all the theories and things I've written over the years. It would pain me immensely to have no archive of that. But, in general, I'm not sure if I'm ever truly coming back. I might, someday. But for now, I'll be a lurker, if I even choose to open the site.

If you need or want to reach out to me, feel free to do so either here or on discord. I'll be checking both every now and again, but probably not nearly as much as I used to, so if you have anything to say to me, speak now.

Goodbye, tumblr. I'll miss you.

[rogue-of-broken-time]

Bye.

[rogue-of-broken-time]

your first column of emojis describes your personality! what’s yours?

[rogue-of-broken-time]

— Langston Hughes

[rogue-of-broken-time]

I needed a little pick me up doodle before I go into this next coming week while simultaneously telling myself I don’t need to have everything in my life figured out right now.  Hopefully this motivational koala is helpful to some of you guys too.  

[rogue-of-broken-time]

Reblog to hug prev poster (they need a hug)

[rogue-of-broken-time]

TW : GUNS AND BLOOD

And then he died, the end /j

[rogue-of-broken-time]

ur first and last recent emojis are ur gender now. mine is 🅱👨‍❤‍💋‍👨

[rogue-of-broken-time]

idk when we decided that explaining yourself shouldn't be part of an apology but like. if someone was a dick to me and apologizes but I still don't understand why they did it I'm not gonna feel any better

[rogue-of-broken-time]

The Magnificent

[rogue-of-broken-time]

A belated gift for JackSepticEye's birthday. It's Marvin preparing a magic cat blast. The cat takes no damage, I promise.

Hardest drawing of Marvin and it's the first time I've drawn this man lmao.

[rogue-of-broken-time]

Anonymously or not, ask me something you’ve always wondered.

[rogue-of-broken-time]

So. Mind's Eye, huh? An incredibly dangerous spell used by the Magic Circle to glean information, fueled by the life energy of the witness?

…

Show me Marvin using it on Henrik to unlock the memories of the missing nine months.

(disclaimer: this contains no spoilers for issue #1 of Void Silver, I got this idea from rereading these panels from issue #0.)

[rogue-of-broken-time]

New Crow Time 🎀🏅

[rogue-of-broken-time]

oh god oh gosh oh heck oh no I'm in love