roguetheflowerchild

[roguetheflowerchild]

I’ve moved twice in not even a year, I’m so exhausted

[roguetheflowerchild]

**The Girl in the Pasture and the Weight of Endless Dreams**

Thirteen-year-old me dreamed big. *Too* big. She wanted to be a novelist, a CEO, a world traveler, and a dozen other things—all at once. But here’s the thing about childhood dreams: they don’t fade as we grow up. They multiply, mutate, and start wrestling each other for space in your soul.

**Chasing Dreams: A Recipe for Burnout?**

To achieve *one* dream, you need luck and grit. To tackle *two*, you’ll need strategy—and maybe a concerning caffeine habit. But try juggling *three*? Suddenly, you’re a circus clown fumbling knives while the audience cringes.

My younger self drafted a “perfect life plan”: graduate early, start a career at 18, save enough to buy a cottage by 25, and never—*ever*—slow down. Spoiler alert: I missed every deadline. Instead, I’m here, 20-something and exhausted, wondering: *Is this all I was made for?*

**The Little Girl Who Never Left**

In my dreams, there’s a version of me who never grew up. She’s still that wide-eyed kid clutching a ladybug pillow pet, terrified of drowning in the “real world.” Trauma left its fingerprints on her soul, and now she’s screaming for me to slow down, to build that cottage, to bake pies and dance in the rain.

But here’s the truth: I can’t abandon her. Not yet. The world is still too sharp-edged for her gentle heart. So I let her stay in her sunlit pasture while I navigate stormier seas. One day, I’ll learn to sail *with* her—but today, I’m still learning to swim.

**The Myth of “Having It All”**

Society sells us a lie: *You can—and should—do everything.* But what if “having it all” isn’t about checking off boxes? What if it’s about letting go of the guilt when you *don’t*?

I used to think forgiveness meant achieving every dream. Now, I wonder if it’s simpler:

- What if it’s okay to fail your younger self?

- What if “success” isn’t a spreadsheet but a messy, imperfect collage?

- What if the *mundane*—the quiet mornings, the unremarkable victories—is the real journey?

My bones still fight this idea. My heart still races. But lately, I’ve started leaving room for a third option: **What if I don’t need fifteen lives? What if one—flawed, chaotic, mine—is enough?**

**To the Girl in the Pasture (And Anyone Else Listening)**

You don’t have to erase your scars. You don’t have to “fix” the little girl who still fears sirens and storms. Let her keep her pie-filled cottage dreams. Let her dance.

Meanwhile, I’ll keep building my own version of “land”—one imperfect brick at a time. Maybe it won’t look like the blueprint I drafted at 13. Maybe it’ll be smaller, stranger, and far more human.

And if I never achieve *all* the dreams? That’s okay. We’ll savor the ones we catch—deeply, wholly—instead of chasing fragments of a hundred others.

**P.S. To Younger Me**

Your dreams weren’t too big. They were a compass, not a contract. I’ll carry the ones that still fit. The rest? We’ll let them live where they belong: in the pasture, where the breeze never sleeps, and the rain doesn’t drown.

[roguetheflowerchild]

hyperfixation please stay with me long enough to complete the project. hyperfixation do not fade. hyperfixation finish what you started for the love of god

[roguetheflowerchild]

i'm stupid, sadistic & suicidal (and really fucking sad)

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When you realize one situation

caused a whole personality switch.

[roguetheflowerchild]

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I found my first tumblr from when I was 14 because I was able to get logged back in and I was mainly just liking heartland and whatever my older sister reblogged I never knew that I would like this app as much as I do now

[roguetheflowerchild]

codependency when? give me someone who can't live without me, who spam calls me and tells me to pick up, who messages me at 2am just because they want my attention, who asks if we can do the littlest things together or at the same time, who wants to spend time with me 24/7, who says they can't function properly without me, who knows they'd simply die without me.

and i'd feel the same exact way.

[roguetheflowerchild]

I think being kidnapped by someone would fix me.

[roguetheflowerchild]

© Peony Gent

[roguetheflowerchild]