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"you're supposed to share !"

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Kirby Super Star Ultra (DS) (2008)

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“Happy Morning: Waddle Dee make-up play” by Kirby/Nintendo

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Ancient Roman gold ring with an amethyst intaglio of Pan playing the pipes.

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Kirby don’t!!!!

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I just scrolled through my blog to remind myself of what I was posting 5+ years ago, and A) there's a lot of posts about ***** that I need to delete, and B) I was lying through my fuckin teeth about how I was doing back them. I kept posting that I'm so confident! Such a goddess! But in reality I was absolutely miserable, so insecure, I had terrible self image, and I was slowly killing myself through my eating disorder. I wanted so badly to be happy.

Even now I want to put up a front. The reality: most things in my life are wonderful, but I've got a massive source of stress that is making me crumble completely. I'm taking paid leave from work to do an intensive outpatient program for my anxiety. I have hope that things will improve.

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i love paintings that look as if they have ghosts in them

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a lord of the rings meme [2/5] characters: Aragorn

But I am the real Strider, fortunately. I am Aragorn son of Arathorn; and if by life or death I can save you, I will.

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🌈✧˚ ༘ ⭐️｡˚☁︎｡

shop - twitter - instagram - etsy - kofi - commissions

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Damn, this blog is 13 years old. That's older than the kid I used to nanny.

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Life update! This is going to be a looooong post! Lots of things have changed!

So about a year ago, ***** and I broke up (I'm keeping his name out of this). It was a long time coming but ultimately it was what we both needed. Everything fell apart. We were polyamorous for the majority of our relationship - but we were bad at it. I hated it for a long time before I finally became more comfortable. When I did feel more comfortable, ***** felt more insecure and closed us off again, with the intention of opening things back up later. But basically, I fucked up and caused the breakup.

I met someone, Marek, and developed feelings quickly. I fell for them hard and told ***** how I felt. ***** forbade me from talking to Marek, but I continued to indirectly talk to them through posts I made about them on the app we met on. I would post about them, they would post about me, and eventually, ***** found the posts and ended the relationship.

I was devastated at first and was overwhelmed by the guilt. Losing the person I was with for over 8 years was awful. But then I started to process the things that happened over the course of that relationship and realized it was beyond unhealthy for both of us. Neither of us were fully to blame for that toxicity. We fed off each other. The relationship was deeply codependent and had so many issues that honestly, it should have ended years before it did. But the codependency kept us together. It was bad.

BUT!!!!

Now life is amazing! Marek and I started actually dating and they are beyond a doubt the best thing that's ever happened to me. The relationship is healthy. Everything feels good and I am deeply in love. We communicate well, our interests and desires in life align, I feel safe with them and never doubt their love for me. They are perfection in human form. I've never met anyone I vibe with so well, genuinely. We will have been together for a year on September 1st! (｡💚▽🩷｡)

Since the breakup, my mental health has improved significantly! I feel joy these days! I am far more stable, my confidence has improved drastically, I have finally met myself, I'm healing my inner child, and I'm far more independent than I ever have been. Marek supports me and makes me feel like I can do anything. I fully believe I was being held back by my last relationship because of the previously mentioned codependency. I wish ***** the best, but I'm happy we aren't together anymore. We both deserve better than what we got from each other.

Some smaller things than a massive relationship change:

I now live in a geodesic dome

I have become completely and utterly OBSESSED with Kirby

My hair is green

My sense of fashion has become super maximalist and colorful

I have control over my eating disorder and I'm finally at a healthy weight

I went to Scotland

I have made friends in the Portland area

I was officially diagnosed with borderline personality disorder which has made therapy far more effective for me

I have fallen deeper into my hobbies

I have a massive plant collection now. 57 plants to be precise.

SO MANY GOOD THINGS.

Overall, life has been really, really good in the past year. I'm truly happy now. I never thought I'd get to this point, but here I am! I'm thriving!

(ﾉ⊙ヮ⊙)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

My happiness shines through and I am so grateful. (~￣▽￣)~

Also here are some (not all) of my plants!!

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dying of laughter together is my favorite non sexual act of intimacy

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"do it scared" ok but I would like to do something some other way occasionally. Like at least once. For a change.

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which part of me biting u don't u understand? i want to give u the world