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Big 5-0!

Today’s my 50th birthday! Hard to believe I’m at the half century mark. I just wanted to say that even though you don’t know me, you are all still a part of my birthday because you’re all such a wonderful part of my life. I’m sitting here thinking of how much I’ve enjoyed fandom, reading, and writing, all while waiting to put my potatoes in the bake for dinner tonight. You have all given me such happiness over the past dozen years of so. Thank you for sticking with me.

—sabre

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Summary: A battle gone wrong leads Tony to the unexpected and pleasant discovery that Steve is much more well-endowed than he could ever have imagined. But when Tony learns that Steve has never actually been able to sleep with anyone because of his size, Tony does what any good friend would do: he offers to relieve Steve of his virginity. Personally. Tony's determined, Tony's methodical, and Tony has a plan. He's going to get Steve laid. Tony just needs to make sure Steve never finds out that Tony's in love with him.

Author: @sineala

Submitter: @undercovercannibal

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if 2024 sam wilson met 2014 sam wilson i fear it would be one of the funniest things ever

2024 sam: “so yeah, we help save the world and overcome many challenges as well as become captain america and go on to inspire millions despite the odds. also steve is lowkey dead and nat sacrificed herself”

2014 sam:

2014 sam: and the guy who ripped out the steering wheel on the highway?

2024 sam: congress

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There are people – some in my own Party – who think that if you just give Donald Trump everything he wants, he’ll make an exception and spare you some of the harm. I’ll ignore the moral abdication of that position for just a second to say — almost none of those people have the experience with this President that I do. I once swallowed my pride to offer him what he values most — public praise on the Sunday news shows — in return for ventilators and N95 masks during the worst of the pandemic. We made a deal. And it turns out his promises were as broken as the BIPAP machines he sent us instead of ventilators. Going along to get along does not work – just ask the Trump-fearing red state Governors who are dealing with the same cuts that we are. I won’t be fooled twice.

I’ve been reflecting, these past four weeks, on two important parts of my life: my work helping to build the Illinois Holocaust Museum and the two times I’ve had the privilege of reciting the oath of office for Illinois Governor.

As some of you know, Skokie, Illinois once had one of the largest populations of Holocaust survivors anywhere in the world. In 1978, Nazis decided they wanted to march there.

The leaders of that march knew that the images of Swastika clad young men goose stepping down a peaceful suburban street would terrorize the local Jewish population – so many of whom had never recovered from their time in German concentration camps.

The prospect of that march sparked a legal fight that went all the way to the Supreme Court. It was a Jewish lawyer from the ACLU who argued the case for the Nazis – contending that even the most hateful of speech was protected under the first amendment.

As an American and a Jew, I find it difficult to resolve my feelings around that Supreme Court case – but I am grateful that the prospect of Nazis marching in their streets spurred the survivors and other Skokie residents to act. They joined together to form the Holocaust Memorial Foundation and built the first Illinois Holocaust Museum in a storefront in 1981 – a small but important forerunner to the one I helped build thirty years later.

I do not invoke the specter of Nazis lightly. But I know the history intimately — and have spent more time than probably anyone in this room with people who survived the Holocaust. Here’s what I’ve learned – the root that tears apart your house’s foundation begins as a seed – a seed of distrust and hate and blame.

The seed that grew into a dictatorship in Europe a lifetime ago didn’t arrive overnight. It started with everyday Germans mad about inflation and looking for someone to blame.

I’m watching with a foreboding dread what is happening in our country right now. A president who watches a plane go down in the Potomac – and suggests — without facts or findings — that a diversity hire is responsible for the crash. Or the Missouri Attorney General who just sued Starbucks – arguing that consumers pay higher prices for their coffee because the baristas are too “female” and “nonwhite.” The authoritarian playbook is laid bare here: They point to a group of people who don’t look like you and tell you to blame them for your problems.

I just have one question: What comes next? After we’ve discriminated against, deported or disparaged all the immigrants and the gay and lesbian and transgender people, the developmentally disabled, the women and the minorities – once we’ve ostracized our neighbors and betrayed our friends – After that, when the problems we started with are still there staring us in the face – what comes next.

All the atrocities of human history lurk in the answer to that question. And if we don’t want to repeat history – then for God’s sake in this moment we better be strong enough to learn from it.

I swore the following oath on Abraham Lincoln’s Bible: “I do solemnly swear that I will support the constitution of the United States, and the constitution of the state of Illinois, and that I will faithfully discharge the duties of the office of Governor .... according to the best of my ability.

My oath is to the Constitution of our state and of our country. We don’t have kings in America – and I don’t intend to bend the knee to one. I am not speaking up in service to my ambitions — but in deference to my obligations.

If you think I’m overreacting and sounding the alarm too soon, consider this:

It took the Nazis one month, three weeks, two days, eight hours and 40 minutes to dismantle a constitutional republic. All I’m saying is when the five-alarm fire starts to burn, every good person better be ready to man a post with a bucket of water if you want to stop it from raging out of control.

Those Illinois Nazis did end up holding their march in 1978 – just not in Skokie. After all the blowback from the case, they decided to march in Chicago instead. Only twenty of them showed up. But 2000 people came to counter protest. The Chicago Tribune reported that day that the “rally sputtered to an unspectacular end after ten minutes.” It was Illinoisans who smothered those embers before they could burn into a flame.

Tyranny requires your fear and your silence and your compliance. Democracy requires your courage. So gather your justice and humanity, Illinois, and do not let the “tragic spirit of despair” overcome us when our country needs us the most.

Sources:

• NBC Chicago & J.B. Pritzker, Democratic governor of Illinois, State of the State address 2025: Watch speech here | Full text

• Betches News on Instagram (screencaps)

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The thing about Tony is that kindness toward him is a foreign concept. And I'm fluent in those.

--

"And what is the most surprising thing you've learned about dating Tony Stark?" Christine asks, and Tony can see the way she's seething behind her smile because Steve has expertly twisted out of every trap she's laid.

He hopes she doesn't think that he had the time to teach Steve any of this--Steve was doing interviews and selling war bonds before even he was a glint in Howard's eye, never mind Christine in her father's, and Steve has complained at length about how the media hasn't changed at all in the privacy of the tower. Between his "aw shucks" persona and his steel resolve, she hasn't been able to poke at any vulnerabilities he might have. Tony is actually sort of impressed. If he didn't know Steve squeaked when his feet were tickled, he'd think the man was made of stone.

"Oh," Steve says, shrugging, and leans back on the couch so he can throw his arm over Tony's shoulders. "Just that he hates surprises."

Tony blinks. Christine raises an eyebrow and opens her mouth, but Tony ignores her, turning to look up at Steve in confusion. "I love surprises though?"

"No, you don't," Steve answers flatly, slanting his gaze toward him. "They make you anxious. I was planning a night out on the town for our anniversary, and you noticed a change in how everyone was acting because they were helping to keep it a secret, and you panicked and thought we were all Skrulls."

Tony blinks again, brows furrowing together in confusion. "But I love when you bring me coffee and donuts when I'm not expecting them. Or! Sometimes you bring me souvenirs when you go on away missions without me!"

Steve sighs, that kind of 'I'd rather not do this here but you'll catastrophize if I don't set you straight now' sound he's developed specifically for Tony, and dutifully answers, "Tony, that's just me being a thoughtful and caring boyfriend who is showing that I think about you even when we're not near each other. I would be a bad boyfriend if I didn't do that. You do that kind of stuff for me all the time. It shouldn't be a surprise."

Tony stares at him for a long moment, then remembers exactly where they are--on a couch being interrogated interviewed by Christine Everhart. He darts his gaze back to her, feeling terrified for reasons he can't explain.

She's staring at him as if she's never seen him before. It terrifies him. He wishes Steve would have let him catastrophize just this once.

"Anyway," Steve says after a moment, slapping his hands against his knees and standing up. "The DOD will get back to you about what parts of the interview you're allowed to air."

Christine jerks her gaze to him, aghast. "What?!"

"I'm an icon of the United States military. They get final say about what airs with me in it," Steve answers, turning to help Tony to his feet. "It's in that contract you had to sign to be able to interview me. Well, bye."

"Bye," Tony adds belatedly as Steve casually directs him toward the door. He looks up at Steve once they're out of earshot, frowning. "But I am surprised when you do those things for me. I was surprised when Pepper did them, too."

"That's because we're the only truly good partners you've had, sweetheart," Steve sighs, shaking his head, and then, "I'll let you think on that for a few minutes on the drive home."

"I feel patronized," Tony declares, but then Steve gives him a pitying look, and he has to wonder if Steve might be right.

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Eat Your Feelings--A Valentine's Day Fic

For deehellcat on the Stony Discord: based on the idea of the zoo's Valentine's fundraiser where you can name a bug after your ex and watch it get eaten. This somehow leads to declarations of true love.

A worm

Seriously?

Ngl that stings

Steve stared down at the text, sighed, and scraped a hand through his hair. It had been a pipe dream to hope that Tony wouldn’t find out, but he hadn’t expected to happen in real time. He glanced over at the television where a reporter was live on scene at the Minnesota Zoo giving a play by play on the Valentine’s Day fundraiser, a report that had begun benignly enough, but when it was announced that someone had named one of the crawly little sacrifices ‘Stark’, it had kind of become, well, a thing. 

The live feed had now made its way to several Youtube channels and somehow gotten picked up by Fox News, where a blonde woman was currently speculating which of Tony’s many exes may have decided to serve his unfortunate stand-in up for a hedgehog’s lunch. 

It wasn’t me, Steve texted back, wincing a bit because it practically screamed guilty conscience. It was true enough, though he suspected that it wasn’t exactly as if he was entirely unrelated to the current situation, considering he had gotten an email from the Minnesota Zoo explaining how a donation had been made in his honor.  Not to mention Bucky and Sam giving him grief for turning down yet another attempt at a set-up. He just wasn’t interested in dating right now, that was all. He had to focus on finishing the pieces for the exhibition, not finding out more about Derrick the gym bro’s protein powder routine. It had nothing to do with breaking things off with Tony. 

Sorry, he added. 

Steve looked back at the screen on the gym wall, where the reporter was, entirely too gleefully in Steve’s opinion, pointing out the hedgehog currently chomping its way through what had been a Chad and an Aaron.  Meanwhile, Stark the worm was slowly inching its way along the glass side of the hedgehog’s enclosure. As Steve watched, the camera zoomed in, and the worm slithered down into a tiny groove along the glass where the faux grass bottom of the enclosure met the edge. It then pushed itself along the groove with what Steve was fairly sure was breakneck speed for a worm.

You’re escaping, Steve texted. Of course, he was, Steve thought with a soft smile. 

A moment later, Tony replied with an image of Mel Gibson in blue face paint from Braveheart, yelling, ‘Freedom!’

The hedgehog waddled over to where Stark was trundling along the edge of the glass and nosed at him. 

“I think our fuzzy friend here has finally caught Mr. Stark! Something no one else can say,” the reporter bleated with a nasal laugh. Steve’s smile drooped. “Oh, no, no, it looks like--Kenny, can you zoom in closer?--look at this, folks you are not going to believe it! Stark is going out that tiny hole there at the corner, do you see that? There he goes!” 

They’ll never catch me

I, for one, welcome our new worm overlord, Steve replied, then, after a moment’s hesitation, added, you’re a hard one to catch.

Three dots indicating Tony was replying lit up Steve’s phone screen for a long time, as if Tony was writing a novel or deleting his reply over and over. 

Dammit, Steve silently cursed at himself, grinding his fist against his forehead. He shouldn’t have said anything. Why hadn’t he just let it go? They were doing their usual casual text thing. This was what they did these days. Now, he’d made it weird. 

“Kenny, can you get this? Stark is using that wire that connects to the enclosure’s heating lamp to escape, and it looks like he just might make it! Unbelievable, folks. A true Valentine’s Miracle,” the reporter cooed on the television. Steve pushed the remote’s button to turn it off, and the screen went blessedly blank. 

Well, probably the worm thing made it weird first. 

The three dots danced on Steve’s phone screen, then, finally, words appeared in their stead.

You did

Steve frowned. What the hell was that supposed to mean? The break-up, if that’s what you called it, had been mutual. Amicable. Incredibly, life-alteringly painful for Steve, sure, but amicable. They weren’t right for each other, and when it became clear that the whole ‘just amazing sex’ thing was not going to be enough and he had somehow caught feelings for Tony Stark of all people--incredibly smart, suave, rich, and very confirmed bachelor--Steve had known it was time. 

They’d both agreed--well, Steve definitely remembered Tony saying yes, he understood, it was fine, he got it. World’s apart, moved in different circles, lots of those kinds of words had been--amicably--said. It had hurt, but they both agreed, it was the smart move. Steve even remembered Tony saying exactly that. Smart move. Good call. That’s what Tony had said at the time. 

Except, then, what the hell did Tony’s text mean? You did. Did what? Caught him? The idea of it seemed entirely inconceivable, if Steve was honest with himself. They’d been…he wasn’t even sure what they had been. Fuck buddies seemed way too flippant, but they hadn’t been dating or anything, just…hanging out. Hanging out at galleries and restaurants (and one time hanging out in Paris), sure, but…hanging out. It hadn’t been serious. Steve had known that going in.  

And then they stopped hanging out. But Steve had never had Tony. Not really, not--not the way that--not like that, the way someone is yours, when it’s something real, when it’s…when it’s the kind of relationship where you--where the people are in love. 

It hadn’t been like that, of course. Not even close. Sure, Steve had feelings, which is why it had to stop. That wasn’t what Tony was looking for from Steve, and it wasn’t fair to try to pull him into a relationship he didn’t want. Thus…amicable. 

Except…except…Steve’s mind stuttered, looking down at Tony’s text. What was that supposed to mean, then?

Did I? Steve asked finally, mainly because he couldn’t help himself. It could be read as a joke, he supposed. Just their usual banter. It was ambiguous enough, and it wasn’t like Tony could hear how loudly Steve’s heart was pounding as he typed those two words. 

The three dots appeared again. 

I so want to say you wormed your way in

Steve huffed out a surprised laugh, then waited, as the three blinking dots made his breath catch. 

You caught me. I couldn’t catch you, though. Tried. 

Steve blinked in confusion, his chest tightening. What? That--that wasn’t right, he frowned, shaking his head. He started to type, then stopped, and hit the video call button. 

Tony answered on the first ring, his face filling the phone screen, and Steve, nearly breathless, didn’t give him a chance to speak, too afraid that he wouldn’t be able to say what he suddenly, desperately needed to say to Tony. “Tony, you--you caught me. I was caught. So very, very caught. But, we weren’t--we weren’t in the same place. We broke up because I was falling in love with you, and you didn’t want that kind of relationship. That’s why we broke up.”

A long beat of silence echoed on the other end of the phone where Tony stared at him. “Well. That was an incredibly stupid reason to break up.” 

“It was?” Steve asked, pulling back in bewilderment. 

“Considering that I was absolutely head over heels in love with you, then yes,” Tony said, “Exceedingly stupid, I’d say.”

“You--what? You were--wait--when? How?” Steve stammered. 

“Since May second at three thirty-two AM,” Tony replied, his face softening. 

“Oddly specific, but okay,” Steve said. 

“I’d gotten up to work on something, and when I came back to bed, you were sleeping, and I thought, I want to come back to him forever. Admittedly, I immediately followed that thought with, oh shit, so not quite as romantic as it sounds,” Tony amended, wobbling his head back and forth with an apologetic wince. 

“So…just to be clear. You were in love with me. I was in love with you. And so we…broke up,” Steve recounted. 

“How have we not been asked to write a relationship book?” Tony asked, his eyes widening with a look of exaggerated confusion. 

“Boggles the mind,” Steve deadpanned, then sighed, aiming his eyes heavenward for a moment. “My best friend tried to get a worm version of you eaten on live TV for Valentine’s Day because I’m still in love with you and all mopey about it today. I think I could handle the chapter on Coping After a Break-Up.” 

Tony grinned widely. “Still, you say?”

“I did say that,” Steve acknowledged with a firm nod. “I don’t suppose you happen to have the rest of Valentine’s Day free, do you?” 

“Well,” Tony replied, drawing out the word, “I suppose there are really only two things on my agenda today. Spend it with the person I am ridiculously--seriously, it’s almost embarrassing--in love with,” he nodded deferentially towards Steve on the other side of the phone screen, “and make a very large donation to the Minnesota Zoo.” 

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The Fantastic Four: First Steps (2025), dir. Matt Shakman

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Also btw trump recognizing only "the two biological sexes" harms intersex people too. I am a researcher of sex and it's affects on disease, and sex is far more complicated than "two sexes" and it always will be. Sex is multifaceted and there are far more than two binary sexes. Keep that in mind too. Don't fall into bioessentialism as you fight for trans people and intersex people.

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On Your Left! — Changes to Captain America Fandom Tags

Hello! In the near future, Marvel tag wranglers will be updating fandom tags on AO3 to separate the upcoming Captain America movies featuring Sam Wilson as Captain America from the trilogy of films with Steve Rogers as Captain America.

To do this, we will be renaming the fandom Captain America (Movies) to Captain America (Chris Evans Movies) and creating a new fandom named Captain America (Anthony Mackie Movies). Both will be made subtags of Marvel Cinematic Universe and Captain America - All Media Types.

In summary:

Captain America (Chris Evans Movies) will refer to the 2011, 2014, and 2016 movies featuring Steve Rogers, Peggy Carter, and Bucky Barnes. 

Captain America (Anthony Mackie Movies) will refer to the 2025 movie Brave New World featuring Sam Wilson and Joaquín Torres. This fandom tag will also refer to any sequel Captain America movies starring Sam Wilson in the title role.

Fans interested in reading about both movie series can include both Marvel Cinematic Universe and Captain America - All Media Types in tag filtering. The current fandom tag for The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (TV), which is a subtag of Marvel Cinematic Universe but not Captain America - All Media Types, will also be unaffected by these changes. We’ve included more details of our reasoning below, which better explains why we’re making this change.

Why are you making two separate fandom tags? Can’t everyone just keep using “Captain America (Movies)”?

Despite both having the superhero name “Captain America” and the same continuity, fundamentally the main character has changed between the original trilogy and the new 2025 movie. We also wanted to hopefully make it easier for fans to differentiate between which movies and continuities they’re discussing. Many Sam Wilson fans will likely want to filter for the movie where he’s the central focus; conversely, many Steve Rogers fans will likely want to filter out movies where he doesn’t appear. 

We’re specifically using “Chris Evans” and “Anthony Mackie” in the fandom tags as they’re the most recognizable and consistent aspect of the movies. There’s no consistent set of directors between all Chris Evans Captain America movies, and actor names are much more recognizable than including multiple years in the fandom tags. This style of making fandom tags named after actors is similar to other fandoms on AO3. For example, there are many James Bond movie fandom tags which differentiate via the actors’ names. 

The Marvel Cinematic Universe is also not the only time Captain America has been adapted to the big screen: there’s a 1944 movie starring Dick Purnell, a 1979 movie starring Reb Brown, and a 1990 movie starring Mat Salinger. The current fandom tag Captain America (Movies) is worded in a way that technically encompasses these unrelated movies as well. It doesn’t make sense for these unrelated continuities to share one fandom tag, so we would have changed the existing Captain America (Movies) tag to be more specific regardless of the release of Brave New World. 

Like we mentioned above, fans interested in reading about both MCU movie series at once can filter for both Marvel Cinematic Universe and Captain America - All Media Types.

Why Mackie Movies instead of Brave New World?

The movie title has already changed several times in between promotion and release. It’s also highly likely Marvel will make sequel movies. Formatting the tag as Captain America (Anthony Mackie Movies) prevents the disruption of renaming the fandom tag in the future. 

We will be creating an Additional Tag for Captain America: Brave New World, similar to how there are Additional Tags for Movie: Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014) and Movie: Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021). We hope the Additional Tag will help fans filter for specific movies within the broader series of movies.

Why does Brave New World get a separate fandom tag while First Avenger, Winter Soldier, and Civil War would still share? 

Captain America: The First Avenger, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, and Captain America: Civil War all encompass the trilogy centering around Steve Rogers. While Captain America: Brave New World is also set in the same continuity, the main character and actor has changed, and the role of Sam Wilson has changed from being a supporting character to the main focus.

It’s likely that Marvel will release sequel movies to Brave New World, which will not receive separate fandom tags and would instead also be covered by the new Captain America (Anthony Mackie Movies) tag. We hope that separating the fandom tags now will prevent the messiness of renaming tags again in the future, and also allow fans to filter for works that focus on the specific Captain America they are looking for. 

(From time to time, ao3org posts announcements of recent or upcoming wrangling changes on behalf of the Tag Wrangling Committee.)

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And he’s RIGHT. Fuck everyone who is throwing a fit over Mackie speaking the truth. He and Chris Evans know this role better than anyone. Captain America is a figure of American propaganda both in the real world and in the MCU, despite how the characters Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson and actors Chris Evans and Anthony Mackie feel. If you just see the red, white and blue, the propaganda, and not what these characters have stood for, that’s on you. And if you think that America represents honor and dignity for everyone, wake the fuck up. Honestly, just look out the window.

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Sebastian Stan and Anthony Mackie at the 82nd Annual Golden Globes held at The Beverly Hilton on January 05, 2025 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Michael Buckner/GG2025/Penske Media via Getty Images)

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Thunderboltsterisk.