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saw someone accuse me of lying for attention which I RESENT. I lie because it's fun and, crucially, very very easy

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I’m back on my bullshit babies

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The grind NEVER starts. I am sleeping.

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why don’t you plant some lavender and when it blooms you can squeeze a leaf or two between your fingers and the smell will calm you down. how about you do that. bitch

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I like Hikaru

I asked some dum dums (idk I think they’re my friends or something) to give me fanart suggestions and after rejecting about 83% of their unholy requests, I boiled it down to these 6 🙌🏻

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me, age 15: i cant wait to be 20 when i will finally reach my full potential, peak me,

me, on my 20s: i cant wait to die

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do you guys think jesus was hung

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best new emojis in the 2020 emoji update

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Tina Fey?

Human: Deal.

Fey: Very well. When you return home tonight, your mother will be in pristine health again. It will be like she never fell ill at all. Even the memory of her suffering will fade…

Human: Thank you so much. She means everything to me.

Fey: I know, I know. Let’s hope the price wasn’t too much for you after all… Only time will tell.

Human: So, when do we start?

Fey: …If I may ask you to elaborate?

Human: You said you wanted my firstborn.

Fey: Yes? And you agreed?

Human: Yeah, so, when do we start?

Fey:

Fey, blushing: Ah.

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Stay inside

Stay inside

Stay inside

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