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rosafione · 4 years ago

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"Come Closer."

title; How Far Will I Fall, 'Till You Catch Me In your Arms

pairing; xiao x reader

desc; you never really lacked the guts for these kinds of things, but before everything else, you valued his feelings, and most of all, his consent. in the end, it still takes two to tango.

a/n; xiao drabble xiao drabble xiao drabbleee now, he might be ooc, im not sure, but this is mostly just an hc if you guys are close— to an extent muahahahahaha

Time was at a standstill for a certain young adeptus.

For someone who's lived a millennia, you'd think two months would only feel like a second. Before, Xiao would not deny the frequency of those moments— of loneliness, and melancholy; Of time spent watching the Guyun Stone Forest and awaiting his time to strike.

Every day that passed was one spent with his guard high, back then.

And yet now, those moments seemed as if they existed in a far different time. A time before the Traveler plunged Osial into the ocean, stripping them of their adeptal duties and eliminating a cause for Liyue to seek their guidance.

Though possibly the greatest disparity from that time could be that.. It was a time before you— before he had you by his side.

You were a mortal, one he considers to be above average, yet a mortal, nonetheless. You still had times where your humanity catches up to you, and you are left vulnerable in the hands of the evil that lurks among the lands of Tevyat.

Xiao met you at your weakest; But he watched you grow into your shell.

It wasn't as if he regarded you with any special fondness. At first. You were no different from any other mortal that walked Liyue— a fragile creature he was tasked to protect, and a being he needed to steer clear off, lest he harm you with his adeptal energy. (Death from the sheer force of it was no stranger to him. He does not want to carry another human's death on his shoulders.)

Xiao had a complicated relationship with the mortal realm. It was not disdain he harbored for humans, only vigilance and curiosity.

Their realm and the adepti's were two worlds apart.

What differed you from the mortals is that you crossed that distance. And somehow, you stood before him, right in the in between.

He wonders how you do it; You've always been unyielding in his presence. He knows you are aware of his prowess, but every time he looks at you, there is nothing but fondness and adoration he sees in your ancient gaze.

You offered him Almond Tofu almost every day. It makes him anticipate your troubles, yet you do no else other than indulge him in small chats, and silly escort commissions into the mountains or the forest. At times, you'd just watch him feed on your offerings.

He knew it was a bribe, the Almond Tofu. You did it almost everyday— Until you didn't have to.

At some point, Xiao stopped denying your presence. He's warned you enough— He respected you enough to know that you were an adult, and you could think for yourself. And though the moments you'd offer him were memories worthy to look back on, he dares not seek you out.

But he didn't have to. You always came to him first.

His relationship with you only grew from there. It was no earth-shattering occurrence, that's for sure. It was a parasite that he didn't know had been rooting itself into his being so deeply that he cannot bring himself to part with it.

Though if not a shocking event, it was still a crushing revelation.

"Good day, Xiao."

The lady-in-charge, Verr, seemed to be searching for something before her gaze flitted back to his. "No Y/N today?"

"Y/N is off to the harbour for a few days," he'd answered instinctively as he walked to the usual table prepared for him near the kitchen.

"And you didn't come with?"

His slit brows raise in confusion. "Why would I?"

"Oh dear, my apologies. I just figured—" a bashful chuckle leaves her— "Since I see you guys together all the time."

He frowns at the memory. It was a realization that started his resolve to put some distance, yet it was also the beginning of your.. lengthy travels.

When your few days became a few weeks, his resolve easily yielded to his eagerness in meeting you once more.

Time used to pass by swiftly, but nowadays, a year spent with you feels as if he had already spent half of his life.

He sighs, shaking his head at himself. "Reduced to just standing around. How absurd."

"If you think standing around was such an absurd concept then why do you still reject the idea of travelling with me?"

The familiar voice wills him to rip his gaze away from the scenery.

He knows it is yours— your steps, your scent, your weight, your presence. Xiao feels you the moment you stepped into the inn. Yet he does not move, run, nor show any sign of the buzz that vibrates from inside his chest.

Yet when he sees you, you are beautiful, safe. Ephemeral.

He forgets every aching minute he's spent in the eight weeks you were not in his vicinity.

Time runs again.

Still, everything about you is slow; The way you walk carefully to his side, the way you drag your fond gaze from his, to the scenery before you.. The way your hair flows and dances with the evening breeze.

He knows. The wind has always favored you.

"Ever since meeting the Traveler, all you've talked about is travelling," he chose to say.

"With you."

"What?" he frowns.

"I mean that yes, all I've talked about is travelling—" you chuckle bashfully, averting your eyes away from his— "That is, travelling.. But with you."

His eyes widen, then hardening with a purse of his lips, before he turns to glare into the distance. "My answer will not change. I cannot leave Liyue."

"And my reply is the same," you sigh. "The place does not matter. As long as we'd be together."

It is a sensitive topic, and an inevitable taboo.

There was a line neither of you should ever cross— a line he's put there himself, and one he disdains all the same.

Silence ensues. It is a frequent occurrence, ever since you first brought up the prospect of adventuring. Stubborn and troublesome. Xiao finds himself needing to track back in conversations just to figure you out.

Mortals were such complex creatures.

And yet it was so easy for you to read him like an open book. Or so he assumes. You always knew how you'd deal with him. Even Xiao knows that it is no easy feat.

"You're always like this," he grumbles.

You do not answer, and he settles for the tranquility, all the tension leaving his body; And for once, after two months, he felt as if he could actually breathe.

He wonders how much longer he'd be stuck in this area of torment and bliss. Wonders how much longer he'll continue to drag you into it.

Wonders when you'll snap and just leave him all together.

He frowns grumpily at the thought.

"Can I?" you ask.

Xiao looks into your eyes— swirling hues that didn't return his gaze, far focused on a lower part of his face. His lips, he realizes. Your gaze had been focused on his lips.

The epiphany wills a streak of crimson to rise to the tips of his ears, and his own focus is stolen away by the pink appendage that wets your lips.

"Your question is incomplete," he says instead, feigning ignorance.

Shaking his head, Xiao crosses his arms and forces himself to concentrate on your eyes. Only on your eyes.

Maybe then, he wouldn't get so distracted.

"Regardless of how your question would go, I don't understand why you need my opinion," he huffs, grumbling. "It's your body. You would know it best."

You press your lips together. A gentle, bashful smile spreading on your face as a fond look emerges in your eyes. "My apologies," you chuckle. "It was the wrong question to ask."

He faces you to narrow his eyes at your suspicious behavior, but he's far too distracted by the way your hand lifts, trailing from the side of his neck to gently cup his cheek, and his breath hitches, eyes widening.

Warmth radiated from your touch. Xiao knows better than to reject such touches any longer when with you. So he leans into it, presses his head closer to your palm, closing his eyes and exhaling in surrender.

"What i meant to ask was," he opens his eyes to look at you.

Your gazes clash. They meld and melt into each other as you slowly raise yourself closer and closer — or perhaps it was him who'd been leaning down.

The hand that traces the tattoo on his right arm, as well as the other that caresses his face with an aching gentleness, reels him in. enthralls him. It lures him into succumbing to your presence, and his body goes through that familiar feeling of softening under your touch.

"May I?" you whisper.

Suddenly, you are leaning in more eagerly— more determined, as if with a clear intent in mind. He thinks he understands your words enough now, swirling in his mind, goes through consideration, and the one practical response he could muster with his focus in a jumble is to deny you permission.

He gulps soundly; He can't bring himself to.

Xiao thinks this is it, watching you move in as he struggles to keep his eyes from fluttering shut. He thinks it would be this moment— this moment in which he dooms the unspoken rule between mortals and adepti. Dooms the contract he's worked so hard to fulfill in service of Lord Morax, now Zhong Li. He'd doom your friendship, or whatever it is you've offered him up to this point.

Yet even then.. Even then, he doesn't say no.

He stays quiet; Waiting. Wanting.

It's funny— the mortal language, how one could switch out a letter, and a word would seem that much different.

It was true, nonetheless.

Xiao waits. Xiao wants.

He wants the closeness, the intimacy— the affection you provide. He wants your lips to meet his just to know if it is as soft as the rest of you is. He wants to see if a kiss— curious, like a child— truly lives up to the countless tales told by the experienced. He wants to know.. If you will give him those answers.

His amber eyes meet yours. He does not breathe, as if doing so would scare you away. As if doing anything would give you a response he does not want to give.

It is enough. Your noses bump for a second, his eyes fluttering closed; Your scent wafts from beneath his nose, crisp burning incense, molded into the fresh smell of the forest that is brought about by the wind.

He curves into you, a single thought shaking him to the core, making him tremble - so utterly pathetic.

'Please..'

Your lips do not meet.

And suddenly, there is too much air between you and him.

Xiao opens his eyes to see you trailing back, fidgety— you looked like a walking contradiction, twitching fingers trying to cross the distance, gaze darting between looking away or staring regretfully at his lips.

There was a crimson hue staining your cheeks, he noticed.

"Why.." he whispers, then catches himself.

The inside of his chest strains from all the emotions he has to keep hidden— all the emotions he has to keep denying.

Disappointment. Loneliness. Exhaustion. Desperation.

Xiao wants.

You couldn't believe you almost kissed him.

It was a heavy violation of contract— not that you two had ever agreed to one, but it was an unspoken compromise. It was a truth you both knew, yet continued to ignore.

So that this— whatever this was, could survive.

Archons, you almost laid it all to waste!

(Either way, any decision would still leave you with regrets, had you continued or pulled away.)

"Ah, would you look at that!" you laughed out loud in a panic, perhaps to cover up the tense atmosphere. "I did it again! I asked a question without completing it, yeah? Guess it's a really bad habit on mine!"

Xiao does not answer. You spare him a look. And you wish you hadn't.

He looks dejected, disappointment and frustration showing through his slit eyebrows and wide eyes.

As if your choice was a surprise to him.

As if he wanted you to continue.

As if.

You couldn't deny you wanted it, too. Whatever he could give you. And, more.

You mentally scold yourself, knowing you're already stretching Xiao's patience with your friendship as it is.

You have to remind yourself that Xiao is immortal, and no matter how humane he may seem, you cannot trouble him with matters such as the turmoil in your heart.

It's really hard to say anything, when all the thoughts that circle in your head is how wonderful he is. How amazing he makes you feel. How he is all you've ever wanted for the whole year since you've realized you'd developed a certain affection for him.

"Sorry, Xiao," you say, throat tightening with bubbles of emotions threatening to spill. "I should.. Go away, for some time."

( And the first thing Xiao thinks is to dejectedly reply 'Again.?' )

"No," he says all too quickly, detaching from the banister.

"No?" you echo, confused. "N-no what?"

"Stay," he says, but it is not a command. Not from the adeptus. It is a soft request; A wavering plea that reaches to you soul.

"Where?" you ask. 'How far?'

"Here," he whispers now. "With me."

You push your luck, craving just a bit more patience from Xiao.

"Close?"

You could see Xiao consider. His eyes showing his heart, but his silence showing his mind.

He gives in.

"Close."

That day was the nearest you've peered, held and embraced Xiao's soul, moving closer, and softly leaning your forehead on his, clenching onto the white fabric of his shirt as he loosely wraps an arm around your waist— under the watchful eyes of the night sky.

There is still a distance that Xiao dares not cross.

And for now, maybe it's enough.

#genshin ff #genshin drabbles #xiao x reader #genshin xiao x reader #genshin xiao #genshin angst #genshin fluff #yes im tormenting both reader and xiao #yes im also crying #WE NEED THESE ONCE IN A WHILE #pining #mutual pining #MAYBE IT'S ENOUGH TMT

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rosafione · 4 years ago

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Before I start drafting the Concubine AU, heres the contents.

What's included: Threesomes, obvious power play (not limited to sexual; Reader is aware of their rank and the rank of concubines), mild angst (heartbreak/possessiveness/question of self-worth/Rivalry), slight to mild objectification, GN Reader (I can do female reader for female concubines or for certain kinks), mild ooc.

What's not included: Dub-con, explicit yandere themes, abuse (towards either Reader or Concubines), explicit relationships between concubines (shipping).

I'm not going for dark content, but I mean I can't write this au to be all happy and perfect.

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rosafione · 4 years ago

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Do you want it or not?

when you try to write a very VERY serious aNgsTy fanfic but you thirst for the character too much.

PLEASE, have this unfinished drabble that is now not part of my fic because i realized halfway through it's just become too heated aNd i was nOt planning to write about smut—

"Alatus?"

"Yes?"

"What—" you clear your throat. "This is a pleasant surprise."

"I have taken it upon myself to enforce my own binds. I've undressed myself as well. I am ready."

You could see that.

When you came home from the alliance meeting for the Gods, you certainly did not expect the estranged creature you saved some months ago to be kneeling on the floor of your lair, bound by chains (you assumed he took from the jail cells) in all his misplaced, arrogant glory.

Red crawls its way up your neck, to your cheeks, and of course! He notices such a small detail. "For a God surrounded by darkness and cruelty, you are surprisingly innocent."

"Well, I don't often come home to a beautiful man offering himself to me like a feast."

To think, he had been so innocent when you first found him, unknowing of a human's material desires. He had not even started with greed, yet went diving straight into the throes of—

"A feast?"

Was he provoking you?

"A feast," you echo. "You see, like this," your place the pads of your fingers gently against his chest, and slowly, you drag it down the expanse of his torso, featherlight and burning. "I could just eat you up."

The way his eyes dilate at the path your hand follows doesn't escape your attention. And if he wanted you to stop, there was no way to tell.

What with the shaky breath that leaves him. His back arching closer to your touch and a shiver racking his spine.

The tension doesn't fade.

But he says the words: "P-Please stop.."

Oh?

He says it just as you reach the skin of his pelvis. You follow his plead, but you don't put any distance. Just lift your gaze to his hateful expression, embarrassment flooding his soft cheeks.

"Don't— Don't misunderstand. This—" he gasps as you make a move to inch lower— "Ngh, this was not what I had in mind!"

You don't mean to be a sadist— but the way he strains against the chains, forearms tensing and fingers digging into his own palms at your touch.

Oh, Celestia. It's too much.

You don't know how you can constantly keep your mind off of touching all over him.

"You should explain, Alatus," you coo. "Or else I'll keep misunderstanding."

He almost preens, but he catches himself, clenching his teeth as his legs tremble. He glares into your eyes and yet his pupils are unfocused, chest heaving from the deep way he breaths and you know he is desperately holding to his few remaining wits.

"I'll do it. Please. I'll explain. Just— haah~ please, w-wait!"

#genshin xiao #xiao x reader #alatus #alatus nemeseos #dom!reader #im so bad at writing #how did it come to this #I WAS WRITING ANGST #THERE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE TEARS #AND PAIN AND HURT #BUT MY BRAIN SAID NOOOOOO #AND MY HEART SAID HORNYYYYYY #anyway #i love xiao yeah but this fanart of him i saw in karmic binds is really #chef's kiss #i mIgHt nOt bE cUt oUt fOr aNgSt #genshin drabbles #genshin ff #sub!xiao

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rosafione · 4 years ago

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Burning Grace Masterlist

“I made myself mortal. Immortal as you are, but… mortal compared to—to what I was.“

Synopsis: They say that long ago, a star fell from the skies and an angel descended upon on the lands of Teyvat with wings that burned brighter than the sun and burned across battlefields. Thousands years have passed and stories have faded into legends. Yet you still remain in this world, your duty as a Guardian Yaksha allowing you to live. But deep inside, your burning grace is locked away and waiting to burst free.

Prologue

Act I: Song of Ash

Scene I

Scene II (coming soon)

Scene III (coming soon)

Act II: A Yaksha’s Promise

Scene I (coming soon)

Scene II (coming soon)

Scene III (coming soon)

Act III: Starborne Angel

Scene I (coming soon)

Scene II (coming soon)

Scene III (coming soon)

Notes:

A slow burn series featuring our favourite brooding Adeptus who lives in Wangshu Inn!! It’s a very slow process of learning to love oneself and one another and I’m so excited to share this series with you all!

Each Act will have about 3 scenes(?), but it really depends on how long I make each scene. My goal is to make them about 5k words each give or take so it’s not a bunch of 10k word works (like Forelsket).

Updates will likely be slow as I’m currently working on other writing stuff at the same time and I’m very very busy with academics and sports. I will do my best to write when I have time though!

My apologies if characters are OOC, I’ve tried to capture their personalities as best I can.

Comment on this post or send me an ask if you would like to be added to the taglist for this series!

“So I bound myself into this body. I shoved my burning grace deep into me. I gave up everything I was.“

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rosafione · 4 years ago

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Addressing the #boycottgenshin issue

[TW: racism, cultural appropriation, whitewashing]

Hi.

So I feel like I should speak up about the whole #boycottgenshinimpact issue. First of all, I’m not indigenous myself so I won’t speak for them, but I am of mixed race (African and caucasian) so I want, firstly, to address the issue about colourism and racism surrounding Kaeya and Xinyan (but mainly Xinyan). As a second disclaimer, I’m French, so my English won’t be perfect and I do apologize for that, but I'm doing the best I can.

Ok so let’s get this out of the way: I don’t think Kaeya and Xinyan, as characters, are sterotypes/proof that mihoyo is racist, and I will explain why. First of all, the take that Xinyan is “whitewashed” is, in my personal opinion, basically racist. Xinyan is affiliated to Liyue, her name is — as far as I know — chinese-based, so to my understanding, she’s most likely of mixed race, which can explain the fact that her skin is not “dark enough” (at least I believe that it is the first issue). As I am myself of mixed race, I find this statement (that she’s whitewashed) really disturbing and disrespectful, because in this case I would be considered whitewashed (I don’t want to show any picture for obvious reasons, but if you really don't believe me I can show you my hand lmao) as I am on the "lighter" side of the “spectrum”. What I mean is that you don’t have to have the same skin tone as Morgan Freeman to be considered poc, and saying otherwise is probably at least as harmful as whitewashing someone. Xinyan is most likely of mixed race, and she’s (I think) a bit darker than me, so.. please don't accidentally imply I'm not dark enough to be a part of the black community?

Now, addressing the issue of people being scared of her: they aren’t scared of her because she’s a poc but because she’s loud and obnoxious, and because of her punk style. She’s a rock star! She yells constantly and has a demeanour that can be surprising, especially to children and easily frightened individuals. Please, I beg of you, read the full story before you jump to conclusions. This behaviour is harmful because not only is it useless, but it also perpetuates the belief that our struggle is also based on fake intel.

That being said, I also wish to speak up about the Hilichurls situation. I want to stress the fact that I’m not indigenous myself, so make your own conclusions! I base my judgement on theories about Genshin and, if you want proof to support these arguments, you can read this: https://www.reddit.com/r/Genshin_Impact/comments/juz7jo/the_13_page_fantheory_on_genshin_impacts_world/ It might contain some spoilers, up to Act I, so be careful! As I will be speaking about this, I may spoil some stuff too, so if you don’t want to be spoiled, skip this entire paragraph. Also, I will base my opinion on the credibility of this theory. If it is proven wrong at some point, I will obviously review my judgement.

So. The main claim is that the Hilichurls being based on indigenous culture is an issue, as they are perceived as “more-or-less as unintelligent, savage monsters.” That is a fair assumption if you don’t dig into the game and learn more about the Hilichurls.

But if you do dig into the game and learn more about the Hilichurls, here’s the thing: they are not unintelligent, savage monsters to begin with. The Hilichurls were most likely part of Khaenri'ah, an “ancient civilization that existed 600-500 years before present-day Genshin and was extremely advanced.” The main theory is that Khaenri’ah’s citizens were cursed by the Unknown God for being too advanced, which is why they are depicted as “unintelligent, savage monsters”. Also, they are manipulated by the Abyss Mages; if you stroll around in the game, far enough from the Hilichurls, they don’t attack you. They’re just chilling, dancing or just napping, most likely because the mages have conditioned them to attack threats (namely: the citizens of Teyvat that weren’t cursed and aren’t part of the abyss, since the abyss is the main antagonist of the game) on sight. So, in conclusion: they aren’t savages, they are cursed and manipulated.

Now, the “unintelligent” part. You may have done the quests with Ella Musk, who asks you to help her have a conversation with a Hilichurl. If you succeed, she does, and the Hilichurl happily dances even though you’re in their vicinity, and doesn't attack you. They are intelligent, they just speak another language and have other means of communication. Saying that they are unintelligent just because they are mobs in the game is reductive, if you play long enough you’ll realise that that’s not the case. Also, they build stuff! They have towers, camps… They are in fact civilised!

I also want to point out that they aren't the only mobs in genshin. There're the treasure hoarders and the fatui! Just because one part of the mobs are loosely based on indigenous culture doesn't mean that the developers are racists, especially knowing that the fatui are the "real" antagonists at this point in the game (aside from the abyss).

In the long run, I don’t have enough information to be 100% sure of what I’m saying here, but neither do the people trying to boycott genshin over these issues. I don’t want to start a heated argument, but I am open to criticism if you aren’t convinced (that’s totally understandable, I may be wrong and this is really just the opinion of a single player enjoying the game and the lore associated with it). So, if you want to chat about it, I’d be happy to! Just know once again that I’m French and my English is probably broken as hell, so please don’t be mad at me if I can’t perfectly convey my position on these issues.

PS. addressing the paedophilia surrounding Flora issue, if I’m not mistaken it’s either a mistake (since Flora was an adult in the beta) or a misunderstanding (I believe there’s an adult Flora even in the game? but I’m not sure).

Anyway, I feel like this is a lot of negativity and misplaced resentment, but I could be mistaken. Have a great day, and don’t forget to regularly change your password!

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