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I hope Nael knows their poem made me cry

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Someone who can actually edit things

Angel: Aha! You two ARE having sex!

Alastor: ...Really? Lucifer, why didn't you tell me? I would have put my book down.

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do you ever watch something and think “this was written by a man”

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The fallout between Alastor and Vox was extremely complicated (and sad) and both of them are equally to blame, albeit in different ways. However, if you asked either of them who was at fault, they’d both tell you it was Alastor. Vox does this because he doesn’t want to accept that he shares equal responsibility in things falling apart, and Alastor because it’s easier to say that he was single-handedly responsible for driving away one of his closest friends than to admit Vox ever actually managed to hurt him.

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I want it on record that if I were to ever write radiostatic omegaverse, I'd probably make Alastor an omega for the funsies. BUT.

Vox would be a beta, and he would have a complex about it the approximate size of Vee fucking Tower. Does anybody else think that the Radio Demon is obviously the pentagram's most desirable omega? No, that's insane. However, so is Vox.

Alastor couldn't actually give less of a fuck if he actively tried, but it's a vulnerability, so he needles Vox about it a few times at first. He quickly stops when he realizes that regardless whether they are in any actual relationship at a particular point in time, Vox has apparently more or less imprinted Alastor as his omega (annoying, stupid, untrue), and mocking him for not being an alpha just makes Vox more overbearing than the most obnoxious alpha on the planet. Valentino is out here telling Vox to maybe chill out a little bit.

It's barely even sexual after a certain point. Alastor at least kind of gets that Vox is a horny degenerate, but why the hell is he leaving him increasingly elaborate and possessive weekly gifts on his station's doorstep like a cat would leave an animal carcass? At least if it was an actual animal carcass, it would be useful for that night's dinner. Alastor is not sure what he's supposed to do with a......"VokTek E-Z-Nest! Just add pheromones!" Hold on, has this already been opened?

Valentino, on the other hand, is an actual alpha—which is why Vox does NOT take his "Um, calm down?" very well. He's just being condescending! Val's a prick! He doesn't understand!!!! Bonus for a 7-second period of insanity when he's momentarily convinced Val is looking at Alastor, at which point Valentino taps out of the situation because fuck that, honey, come back when you need him to fuck some sense into you but otherwise leave him out of this.

Alastor's heats aren't even, like. Like that. He mostly just gets antisocial, kills a few things, and then locks himself in his room for a moderately uncomfortable week to plan his broadcast schedule. But fuck if Vox doesn't have that shit calculated down to the day on his schedule planner, and spends the whole week unsubtly pacing the perimeter of the hotel with his spy drones, driving himself crazy imagining what alpha Alastor must be fucking, and lasering any poor actual alpha (that isn't already a resident under Princess Morningstar's protection) that gets within three blocks of the place from orbit. VoxTek stocks always take a bit of a dive around that time.

Things that do not help: Alastor not actually discouraging this specific behavior, because, hey. He doesn't want any alphas around, either.

It's really just a matter of what breaks down first: the remaining dregs of Vox's common sense as pertaining to Alastor, Alastor's ability to find this whole thing deeply humorous, Charlie's self-restraint in not staging an intervention, or Vaggie's absolute last fucking nerve.

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New take on the Alastor/Vox fallout -

Vox made super special dinner plans, all the stops, getting Alastor his favorite food and drink, paying the restaurant to play all his favorite music, the whole 9 yards

Alastor thought Vox was going to ask him to marry him

Instead, Vox asks him to join his business as a business partner

And Alastor realizes the entire time Vox has been calling him his partner he meant BUSINESS partner, and flipped out and left forever

(It's up to you to decide if Vox chickened out at the last second to ask for the business relationship instead because he thought Alastor would have said no to a romantic one, or if he never even thought of Alastor that way even once)

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No amount of alcohol can stop the dad jokes

(Vox balancing between "I should stop him" and "I want to see how far this goes")

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Ok I just finished rewatching The Rundown Job and so far I have -

The most ridiculously peacocking display of competence porn. What do you mean "'sup Eliot." What do you mean "who needs luck". Where is your damn shame? Where is hundred more episodes of just like this? 10/10 worth every watch.

'I've got a hacker *enter bf*, and a thief *enter gf*'

Only Parker noticing 'too many cops'. It's such a cool detail throughout the show how observant she is just offhandedly, unlike Eliot who observes actively.

Parker pretending to promptly fall asleep as soon as they're in the truck, only to have the handcuffs off in seconds.

"What do they say about me? I hope they gave me a cool nickname." I'll bet all the kudos on my most popular fic that he hacks into his own pentagon file regularly to make up his own nickname.

"Hell your girlfriend's already out of the cuffs" *Parker smiling and sliding them off* AND IT'S DIRECTED NOT TO HARDISON, HER EXPLICITLY STATED BOYFRIEND, BUT AT ELIOT, THEIR BOYFRIEND.

Putting Hardison in those glasses. Those damn glasses. I need a glass of water jfc it's hot in here

'For better or worse, we change together'. Aaaaaand that's on wedding vows.

"I'll drive." "Hold on." "Exactly." "No, I mean hold on. (Our gf is a former gateway car driver)". "Oh. Oh you mean. Yeah."

The hand on the wrist and eye contact and saying 'I'm not afraid. I got the best thief and the smartest guy I know chasing this guy'

HAND ON THE BACK OF THE NECK AND PULLING CLOSER 'HEY LISTEN TO ME YOU'RE THE SMARTEST GUY I'VE EVER KNOWN HARDISON I NEED THAT BRAIN TO GET ME TO HIM. GET ME TO HIM'. Screaming crying frothing at the mouth et cetera et cetera

Figuring out the job TOGETHER

This is Hardison. Hardison likes his personal space. These are Parker and Eliot. Parker and Eliot also like Hardison's personal space.

The eyes on each other's lips during unlocking doors and saying thank you

'Kiss for luck?' the sequel: love boogaloo

HACKING THE MF CAR HORN WITH AN SOS THROUGH A MOBILE PHONE

"BOOM MY BOY THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!!" first of all that's his boy so jot that down

Also side note this episode shows the fascinating way Hardison uses his brain and I wish we saw more of it because it's fascinating how he derives what he does from the few bits of data he gathers

"He's on the train!" "Yeah well so am I." "When you pick him out of the crowd-" "No. I'm ON the train! 🙄 Never mind..."

Two good ole boys behind the wheel 🎶 chasing the target and their gf in a million dollar car 🎵 two good ole boys-

*Hanging by her fingertips from a running train roof almost mashed into pulp by signage" WOOOOOO HOOOOO

The way Parker picks him out, not by using thief sense, but mastermind sense that he's immune -> got vaccinated -> pain in the arm. Brilliant way to pick someone out from a crowd while not raising panic

Keeping him talking till she takes the briefcase that he HANDCUFFED to himself right under his nose. How? Well, she's Parker.

"I kept one diamond. Sorry." I love her

Finally "kiss for luck" the trilogy comes to an end

*casually endangers self* "Fire is the only thing that kills it right?"

"Don't do that to me, I can't lose you. Do you understand? I can't lose you. Don't scare me like that. I can't-"

Eliot Spencer: *Barks 'Alright!' at the guy touching him to literally patch up his bullet wound.* Also Eliot Spencer: *ditches crutches so he can lean on his girlfriend and boyfriend*

"I work with them now." Would you like to stay for dinner? "Honor among thieves? Something like that." WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER??!!!

"I don't do hospital." "I told you, he takes getting shot very lightly." Uh huh, you know what I smell? LOVE. In the air! Might be some blood from those bullet wounds too ig.

What a show.

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Posting Hannibal related memes until they save Hannibal, day 1047.

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Au where everything is normal, vox just has adhd.

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I mean.....

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people will hear you talk about struggling with mental illness and say “you can do anything if you just put your mind to it”. brother what part of the body does the mental illness happen in. what do you think is the problem

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The gods did not breathe the breath of life into us and give us gifts of a shape, a will, and a voice just so we could pay bills and die.