roseok

[roseok]

Sunflower Girl

Kim Taehyung | Roommates AU | Romance | Campus Romance | High School to College | Enemies to lovers | Fluff | Angst | Implied Smut

COUNT—20, 848 words ↳ A/N: First series written in early 2016 too! 

❝Taehyung: killer of flowers and wrecker of hearts. With a high school history you can’t get over and a problematic roommate you can’t avoid, life is great until you’re forced to live under Kim Taehyung’s roof.❞

Prologue

Knock

“Y/N,”

Knock

“I need to talk to you Y/N,”

It was a cycle. A vicious cycle of early morning wake-ups and pretending to be dead asleep to having your sister rip open your bedroom door anyway. Slipping under your covers, she nestles her tired body up against your back. Wrapping her arms around your waist, she buries her head between your shoulder blades and cries.

Lifting your gaze to the only source of light in your room you groan as your alarm clock emits the warning numbers of dawn.

“You know Mia, I wake up in two hours for my graduation ceremony,” you rasp, the morning tendrils clinging to your vocal chords. “What is it now?”

“Don’t leave,” she sobs, turning onto her back but still holding you tight. “Fuck, I guess it’s just the insecurities and loneliness talking, but I couldn’t sleep after thinking so hard about it and I don’t want you to leave the city. I don’t want you to leave me. I want you to come to my college and I want us to be close forever.”

Turning onto your back, you both stare at the glow-in-the-dark stars glued to your ceiling.

Their glow had faded significantly over the years and the thought of tearing them down after so many nights of saving you from nightmares scared you more than you’d like to admit as an adult. You thought that maybe, the karma of the universe would push you into the perils of catch up nightmares, so they stayed.

“Please don’t go,” she begs, nestling her face into your shoulder. “I’ll be good. I’ll even drink less alcohol, just don’t leave me alone in this hole.”

Letting a river of discomfort and grief flood your disgruntled morning self, you sink further down into your duvet with a frustrated sigh. You still hadn’t told your family that any semblance of an opportunity of going to a university far away had disintegrated in less than a week and that you had decided to stay instead. What else could you do?

“Mia, I’m not going,” you whisper. “Something happened and I didn’t end up getting the required grade for Brown. So, you don’t have to worry about being lonely, I guess I’m staying here. So go away so I can sleep before I murder you.”

“Something? Are you talking about Taehyung?” she asks, yawing into her hand. “If you are, I’m going to hug him. You and me forever. ”

“Don’t even say his name,” you croak, pulling the sheets back over your face. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to sleep so I don’t look like an axe murderer in my graduation photos.”

“If something was meant to happen Y/N, it would. Stop being dramatic, the kid doesn’t sound that bad at all. So he lied to you, big whoop. Did you die? NO.” she shouts, her voice too loud for the mush that was your morning brain. “I’m glad he did to be honest. I think I might hug him when I see him. Thats how glad I am.” she says, squeezing you tighter before leaving you to slumber the last remaining hours of being a high school student.

“Like hell you will,” you whisper as she leaves. “Kim Taehyung is a murderer of dreams and flowers and all things in between.”

She laughs as she closes the door behind her, “Be careful there sis, love and hate are separated by a very thin curtain. You might just burn it down with all that fire of yours.”

Sinking back into your sheets, you mull over every single interaction you’ve ever had with him. You didn’t have that many, but they filled you with regret and anxiety. You felt hopeless and tormented by his stupid grin, his stupid toe nail clipping eyes, his soft brown hair and his baritone laugh.

You hated him. You hated Kim Taehyung.

In your freshmen year of high school you decide against being surprised by anything Kim Taehyung does and will ever do. He was popular, smart and kind. He was the picture perfect student justly famous for two reasons.

First, he was incredibly good looking — a natural beauty. The second, he was the most boring good looking person on the planet. He lived in the school library, he routinely volunteered to tutor and his posture was always frustratingly perfect in class. He was a brick wall with girls, a brick wall with his friends and a brick wall to you. Everything he did was a calculated move towards his GPA, he was predictable and transparent.

He remained the star pupil of your school up until senior year, when out of nowhere Kim Taehyung did a 180 and became a mystery.

You were curious as to what might’ve caused the sudden change; the good boy suddenly going bad. He acted as though he had a grudge against the world, as though the world did something so shockingly inhumane that his actions and juvenile delinquency were warranted, but he just wanted to be himself. He just wanted to be able to express himself.

With his chestnut hair streaked with green, pink leather jacket and the cool that suddenly replaced his once stoic aura, Taehyung was a completely different person. And, you could tell from the size of the dark bags under his eyes and the hangovers he routinely nurtured in the classes he did actually attend, Taehyung was chasing demons into tequila sunrises.

He wasn’t any different from the group of boys he hung around. Which doesn’t come as a surprise to you, you are at the end of the day, the product of your environment. You just hoped that maybe, just maybe, he would be different and prove you wrong.

If only.

Walking to the student administration office determined and passionate. You decide that if Taehyung could change in such a short time frame than you could too. You didn’t want to follow the path your parents set out for you, and neither did he, you wanted to spread your wings, so you did.

You were going to find a university outside of the state and attend it. You were going to find what makes you happy and pursue it.

What makes you happy was 8 hours away and you needed to maintain an A- average to even think about getting in on scholarship. Brown was an elite college designed for hardworking students like yourself.

So thats what you worked towards. You had a goal and you were going to press forward and achieve it.

But as you became more determined and goal focused, Taehyung had loosened his grip on academic reality and began to lose himself in the swell of people and what they could offer him in terms of a good time. He was a freight train heading straight for you.  

For the last 6 months of your senior year, the science classroom had become your cave. Your last assignment for your high school career was research on soil and sunflowers, which is why you spent most of your time by the back window where you could see every corner of the school.

These flowers held your hope of going to Brown.

It was english class when Taehyung approached you for the first time. You assumed at first that maybe his college friends had told him about the so called “legendary tales” of your famous freshmen sister and he had come to check you out, but he seemed genuine in his disinterest and just wanted to borrow a pen.

The second time he approached you, it was to return it. He didn’t seem at all curious or even aware of who you were and he certainly didn’t ask you about your sister. The small interactions were nice, although you were mostly ignored, he filled you with fascination and enough day dreaming material for life.

Hell, the boy was cute.

The third time Taehyung approached you however, he had figured out who you were and he played it smart so you wouldn’t figure him out.

Carrying a box filled with his last science experiment, he stops to encourage himself before making his way to class.

“Okay, Taehyung just play it cool. You’re cool. She’s just a girl. Its just a girl.” he chants under his breath. “Get in there, get to know her. Get her to like you. Get invited to the party. Invite the boys. Don’t be nervous.”

Making his way to the class, he opens the sliding door of the classroom and his eyes immediately fall on your familiar frame leaning out the back window with your chin against your forearm, your knees on the seat of the stool and your hair plunging down the sides of your face.

Staring into the classroom he notes that you were the only thing motionless in the beehive of the classroom, and Taehyung felt somewhat transfixed by the calamity that he thought might be your nature. What he hoped might be your nature.

He had always found that you were quite peculiar and compelling, but not enough to think of you as anything other than a blur in the face of blurs. He was nervous because you seemed smart. Smart enough to catch onto his plan. Smart enough to see right through him, but the allure of what your friendship could offer him outweighed any potential consequence.

Sitting down in the stool beside you, he places the box to the right of him and leans his chin on his fist to stare up at you. He wanted to be methodical with his charms, but from where he sat, it looked like you were chasing the sun and he found it amusing how the sunflowers that sat beside you almost looked like they were doing the same. He decided to run in blind, jump into the deep end with his hands tied. He was just going to be a friend. Theres no harm in that right? holla that rhymed, rm eat ur <3 out

Leaning closer to you, he clears his throat, “Hey Y/N, I know this is kind of weird but I was thinking that maybe we could be friends. I-I know its really late into the year and we haven’t r-really talked before but there is no time like the present right? What do you say?” he stammers, peering curiously close to your face.

Waiting for you to turn and reply to his overwhelmingly generous offer, he leans closer in curiosity. He questions if maybe he’s mixed you up with someone else and thats the reason why you’re ignoring him. But he knows you, and he knows he’s smart enough to distinguish you from the other blurs.

He’s so close to you at this point that he can see every freckle, every blemish and every crack of skin on your lips. He’s not sure why he’s standing so close to you, but he wants to offer his strawberry lip balm. He also wants to brush his fingers against the long length of your lashes or play with the ends of your soft hair. He feels like you’d be a nice enough person to let him, but he decides against doing any of those, you’d probably find that strange.

Cocking his eyebrows at you, he leans his head back against the window sill. “Hey, Y/N.” he says, licking his lips.

Beside the mindless chatter from other students, the clock ticking above the classroom door fills the silence between you as he waits for your response. He’s about to clap in front of your face before a gust of wind blows your hair away from your face, sending the apple and strawberry scent of your shampoo wafting towards him. He closes his eyes in awe as he lets the gentle scent clog his brain. He hasn’t smelt something so lovely in his entire life.

Looking back towards you, he admires the way your hair cascades down the back of your uniformed blouse but in turn, notices the earphones in your ears. Blushing scarlet to the tips of his ears in embarrassment, he laughs loudly at his silly mistake. Sitting back down in the stool, he rests his chin on his fist again and grins, you weren’t ignoring him.

After measuring and watering the sunflowers, you place them on the window sill beside you. Sighing into the gentle breeze you flood your brain with last nights conversation.

Your sister was arranging a massive house party at your family home. Your parents agreed and no-one bothered to ask you. How fucking rude

Mia lived in a college dorm but wanted to use the family house, where she no longer lives, under the guise of graduation celebrations. Your parents - proud and hippie, decided it was the worlds greatest idea, calling it an opportunity to “network.”.

Network my ass, any excuse to party for her was an excuse to be an asshole. You couldn’t imagine the kind of damage that would ultimately occur to your home. You didn’t want to. The idea made you grimace.  

Taking a much needed deep breath, you slap your cheeks. Maybe listening to soft music will extinguish the fire you’re starting to feel grow embers in your heart.

Leaning out the window in half a daze, you put your earphones in and listen to the mellow tunes of Jim James - a favourite of yours.

Your ears are filled with the sound of rough hands and their tender love making abilities on the wooden fretboard of an acoustic guitar.

You wished wholeheartedly to be able to play guitar like that, to push people into a swell of thoughts as vigorous as he does to you. Maybe you should try learning this song Y/N, you can play, you might as well try. It can’t hurt.

The idea seemed to tug towards a favourable conclusion but before you could even continue on that train of thought, you’re being plucked from your daze and pulled back down to reality by a baritone laugh and the strong smell of cologne beside you.

Taking out your earphones, your about to tell the baritone laugher in close proximity to piss off but as you turn and face the stranger, you freeze in shock.

“Kim Taehyung.” you choke, embarrassingly swallowing the lump of anger you were about to gift his beautiful face. His cheeks were pink and his eyes looked like toe nail clippings in contrast to the impressive rectangle of teeth grinning at you; you couldn’t yell at such a face.  

“So now you finally notice me.” he laughs, shifting the box beside him further away. “I’ve been trying to get your attention but you’ve been ignoring me for the past 5 minutes. Anyways, what’ya listening to?” he asks, flicking the tips of his hair out from his brows.

Sitting back down in your stool, you wrap your earphones around your phone and place it beside you. “Why do you want to know?” you frown, unsure and suspicious.

“Well, you looked so lost in thought. If music made you do that, I want to listen to it too and maybe get lost with you.” he says, rubbing his sweaty palms together.

“Uhh…” you mutter, your mouth not quite connecting with your brain. It was strangely bizarre how THE Kim Taehyung was talking to you, but you were too tired and shocked to question it. “Jim James. His song Exploding takes me places. I just fall in love with it everytime I hear it.”

Unwrapping your earphones from around your phone, you slip an earphone into his ear. You watch his eyelashes flutter unexpectedly at the soothing melody before looking back up to your eyes with an unreadable expression. He sits and stares at you for the entirety of the song.

He must not have meant to stare because when the song ends, he realises he had been and he tears his eyes away from yours in embarrassment.

You sink back into your chair as you wrap your earphones around your phone again. You feel like you just made some weird connection with him, it was unnerving.

Maybe you should’ve questioned him at this point, but as he agrees with you and talks about the music that has a similar effect on him, you’re transfixed.

You like the way he talks and the way his eyes pierce into yours to see if you’re still listening and the way he licks his lips in thought. You like the way he talks about music, you can feel an unspoken passion as you listen to him speak. Almost like there was furnace behind his eyes and he wanted you to feel the heat.

It made you excited for him but confused as to why he was pouring out his deep seeded passion so fearlessly to you. You didn’t even know him.

You can tell by the way he has to forcefully stop himself from saying anything more that he really hasn’t talked to anyone else about this. It seems to surprise him how much he’s managed to tell you because he couldn’t bring himself to stop.

He couldn’t understand what was happening all of a sudden. He felt like out of all people who would understand him, it would be you and he didn’t even know you. He regrets not choosing to use his methodical charm, he’s going in blind and he has a sinking feeling that you aren’t just some girl.  

He was in love with the idea of making his own music and to have people like you fall in love with it. To fall in between the notes of his melodies and get lost, because he knew that sometimes in a town like theirs, people wanted to run away and he wanted his music to imbue a sense of passion. A sense of motivation to do it. He was happy and he wanted others to be happy too.

“Sorry, I do that. My mum says I talk too much and don’t give people the chance to talk.” he laughs, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “Are flowers your thing?” he asks genuinely.

Facing him, you grin. “Everyone thinks I’m obsessed with my sunflowers, they even call me the sunflower girl, but I just want them to grow well. They are my ticket out of here.” feeling a slither of a blush across your cheeks, you look over your plants with fondness. “I need to get out of this city. I want to get out of this city.”

“Whats in your box?” you ask, tearing your gaze from the flowers to his curious expression. You hoped changing the conversation would divert the tender subject. You really didn’t want to talk about being suffocated by small town people and their small town minds. You thought that it might offend him.

Taehyung doesn’t even know whats in the box. “Its a surprise,”  he says, fondling the edge of it. He doesn’t know whats in the box because its not actually his work. He paid a junior in the library to fix him a last minute research paper and evidence of the “work”.

He could’ve done it himself but he hadn’t actually attended a single science class that year and had no idea what the assignment was on. Not wanting her to know about that, he diverts the conversation, much like how she did before.

“Hey, lets not talk about science. I’d much rather talk about you. I want to get to know the sunflower girl.”  he eagerly admits, inching closer until his knees were touching yours.

Surprised by his flirtation, you move back in your seat, grab your sunflowers by their shared pot plant and hold them close to your chest.

You want to hide in a hole right now because the comment came out of nowhere and your body wasn’t ready and your cheeks are starting to heat up and you’re sure they are pink and shit.

“Why?” you cough. Is he flirting with me? Why would he be flirting with me? I’m not even that good looking…

“I just want to make friends with everyone before grad,” he laughs loudly, subduing your suddenly insecure thoughts. “And why not?” he grins, suddenly feeling confident with himself as he watches you shy behind the petals.

Leaning forward in his seat so his knees were touching yours again, he remembers his agenda and what he was supposed to be doing.

Not wanting to waste any more time, he strokes the sunflower petals hanging in front of your lips, he makes sure to accidentally stroke your cheek. He’s grinning at how perfect this moment is becoming, you sitting there with flustered pink cheeks, him with sudden unwavering confidence in his abilities to charm. It made his job easier and he felt less guilty doing it.

“Come on Y/N, lets put these in the experiment room and spend the rest of the class talking. I want to be good friends with you and we can talk more about the music you like! I feel like we have a similar taste,” He smiles, wrapping his arm around yours as he pulls you up and out of your seat. “So, what do you say? Yes?”

His excited chestnut eyes simmer down to crescent moons as he waits for an answer. You nod your head and mutter back with a small smile, repeating what he said earlier, “Why not.”

Taehyung pulls you closer to him as you both carry your experiments to the experiment room. He was giddy and excited, much like a child.

You can practically feel your heart swimming in your ears in response as you look up to Taehyung and his cheshire grin. You can’t help but wonder why he was trying so hard. What good would your friendship be to him.

You’re about to ask him when all of a sudden he moves his hand to the small of your back, gently prodding you through the door.  You hate how much of an impact the small gesture has on you, as your thoughts break and fall apart, filling your body with tiny flickers of electricity.

Its in that moment that you realise that you’re a goner. You don’t even need to dwell on it. Your body and your mind like Kim Taehyung.  

And looking down at your flustered expression, Taehyung realises right then and there that he’s got you hook, line and sinker.

You remember the exact moment Taehyung sent you a message when you got home. You were sitting opposite your sister as your parents showered her in loving attention for her potentially fake academic success.

You felt invisible whenever she came home and no matter how hard you tried to talk, you were the ignored younger sibling pining for attention and you hated it.

You stayed silent with your claws in at your end of the table on the basis that after the party, you would become the favourite. There was no way she could hold that down knowing her social circle and how crazy the party will definitely be.

Feeling an alert from your phone tucked into the pocket of your jeans, you stop playing with your peas and pull it out. The silence you had adopted at the table, turned into a series of gasps and muttering under your breath once you read the message.

“What you doing? p.s. its Taehyung.”

You don’t even question how he got your number before you reply back with a timid greeting, you were just thankful that he saved you from a boring ass dinner with your family.

You were practically glued to your phone messaging him that night. He was on a roll with the worst jokes you’d ever heard when your sister finally notices your lack of attention.

“Y/N, who are you texting?” she smirks suggestively, leaning behind you. “Is it a boy?”

“Its just this boy from school, we started talking today.” you grin, turning back to your phone. “He’s funny — thats why I’m smiling, we are just friends.”

Mia smiles at you and then to your parents knowingly. “I didn’t ask but thanks for clarifying. Whats your boyfriends name?” she laughs, lunging for the phone.

“He’s not my boyfriend!” you shriek, snatching your phone back. “Leave me alone.”

“Who is Taehyung?” she laughs, running after you. “I’ll find out! You can’t hide anything from me!”

She gives up chase when you lock your bedroom door behind you. You doubt, no, you hope that she won’t remember his name. Mia is the kind of girl to beat up boys that like you, she was so over protective that it hurt.

Sinking back into the paradise of your sheets, you fall back into an endless exchange with Taehyung.

You spend all weekend and till dawn hiding under your covers texting him. It was comforting to have someone to talk to on a similar wave length, you didn’t feel as alone.

You were surprised by how much you had learnt about him in two days and how easily he got you to open up.

He loved making music and acting, his parents decided to prolong the vacation they were on to a year and he hated how he didn’t have the nerve to talk to you earlier.

You both agreed that there was this strange understanding between you, potentially caused by how much in common you had with him, but something felt …strange.

You couldn’t put your finger on it. He seemed to have either mood swings or personality swings, it almost seemed like you were talking to two different people, but you didn’t question it. You put your faith in that maybe he was just tired.

Walking the back routes to school the following week, you notice a group of boys standing beside the back entrance. They were huddled into a circle, seemingly up to no good. They looked intimidating — cigarettes hanging from their fingers, serious and hard facial expressions, and they were listening to loud rap music. It was almost scary how unapproachable they looked and how much you suddenly wanted to run away without them seeing you.

Staying out of sight, you wondered if it was worth turning back and walking to the front entrance. You didn’t want any trouble and they looked exactly that.

Looking back up to the group again you notice the familiar silhouette of Kim Taehyung hiding in the corner of the group and immediately feel your heart ricochet against your ribs. He had wanted you to come find him when you got to school so he could introduce you to his friends, you didn’t think you’d be able to so quickly.

Slowly approaching the group, your confidence begins to waver. They looked like they were well into a serious conversation and you didn’t want to interrupt.

Stopping beside a tree, you grab your phone out to text him, but when your name is said in the centre of the group ahead, you stop.

“Dude no, Namjoon and I spent the entire weekend talking to her.” Taehyung groans, running his hands through his hair.

Jumping behind the tree, you press your back against the trunk. You weren’t sure if eavesdropping was entirely appropriate, but your instincts told you to stay and do exactly that.

“Its going to work! I heard that they were throwing it at her house. I just need to talk to her a bit more okay. Y/N is too easy, don’t even worry. She’ll invite me. And then I’ll get you guys invited, its a no brainer,” he yells, scraping his shoes against the concrete, “We get along, she’s actually kind of cool for a loner.”

“I just feel bad for her. We shouldn’t use people like this, its not kind.” his blonde haired friend mutters empathetically.

“Such is life. You gotta do what you gotta do Yoongi.” he groans, stamping out his cigarette. “Come on, we gotta get to class. Its the last week and Namjoon and I want to vandalise the math block.”

You stay behind your tree and watch them saunter through the gate into school. You were shaking with adrenaline and disbelief and anger. The heart that was creeping up your body at the sight of him, gyro dropped to the pits of your stomach and your blood boiled in rage.

You suddenly felt guilty, felt horrible and felt like he just violated your privacy. No, he did violate your privacy. Holding a hand over your chest, you struggle to exhale. The hurt lodged into your throat like a rock and you were afraid that your emotions would get the best of you and that you’d cry a river right then and there.

You had told him too much about yourself and the thought that someone who had an ulterior motive for your friendship knows what others don’t and shouldn’t know, made you want to curl into yourself and cry in frustration.

You just wanted to have one thing, one nice thing in your life and you wanted that to be him. You hoped that it would be him, but Taehyung was terrible and if life teaches you anything about misery, its that terrible comes in twos.

Opening the door to the experiment room, that afternoon, you gawk at the crowd of people around your flowers. “Why is everyone standing around my sunflowers?” you ask, your voice faint, suddenly wracked with nerves.

Either your project was stunningly beautiful or something was terribly wrong. You were almost too certain that it was the latter, your classmates were too competitive to care if you did well.

The group of people surrounding your work stare at you sympathetically before moving out of the way, creating a clearing for you to see the state of your plants.

Sucking in a sharp breath from the site of them, you drag your feet defeatedly closer and closer through the clearing, disbelief indisputably on your face.

Stroking one of the last remaining petals, you slump against the edge of the table when it breaks off between your fingers.

They had withered. The once vibrant yellow replaced by a dull brown.

The students surrounding you bowed and politely left, eager to leave the awkwardness of having to comfort a top student who had definitely screwed up the worlds easiest assignment. And in doing so, uncovered the experiment box that sat beside yours. 

“Ripening Bananas - Kim Taehyung”

“Y/N Y/N Y/N!” Taehyung yelps gleefully as he enters the room, passing the group of students. The sound of his happiness as he jumps in glee, burns a couple holes in your defence as you try your best to hold back your emotions as he approached you.

“Why didn’t you come and say hi to me?” he asks, playful bouts of disappointment sketched into every word. You don’t look at him but you can imagine his face contort with that cute little pout he does that seems to make everything naught.

Taking a deep breath, you move out of the view of the flowers, so Taehyung can see.

“Your flowers,” his eyes glisten with sympathy as he pulls you into an urgent, somewhat sincere hug. “I’m so sorry. You must be so upset.” he says into the crook of your neck, with the heat of his breath making you shiver against him as he rubs circles into your back.

You know he’s trying to be comforting or play the part of a comforting friend but you stand rigid against him. It’s taking all of your willpower not to wrap your hands around his neck and squeeze the air out of him.  

Pushing him away, you stare at him incredulously, suddenly filled with anger. “Your idea of a surprise was ripening bananas? Why did you put your box next to mine knowing my assignment was on flowers Taehyung? I even told you how much this assignment meant to me.”  

Wrapping his hand around your elbow, he murmurs lowly. “What are you talking about? What did I do?”

Shoving his hand away you point to his box. “What did you do? Taehyung, ripening bananas produce ethylene gas that causes disruption of life to flowers. You put your box right next to my flowers. You killed my flowers.”

“I didn’t know Y/N, believe-

“The assignment was on respiration, how did you not know that?”

“I-I didn’t know?” he stutters. “I definitely didn’t mean to do this, I know how much they meant to you. I would never try to hurt you.”  

“Are you lying to me right now?” you ask, stepping closer to him.

“I wouldn’t lie to you. I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” he yells, begging for forgiveness with his eyes.

“You wouldn’t lie to me? Thats hilarious. Save it Taehyung.” you say, holding your hand up. “Just don’t.”

Pushing passed him, he watches silently as you yourself process what just happened. You couldn’t even argue against your results, the assignment was designed to be autonomous and you were responsible for controlling the flowers environment.

You did enough research to pass but the state of your results couldn’t guarantee even a B. Your grade had dropped and so did any hope of leaving this place.

Holding the door handle, you take a deep breath. “It was nice talking to you and Namjoon over the weekend, but had you got your facts straight, you would’ve known that my sisters party is open house. And, I’m not easy. I was just being kind even if I am a loner..”

“How did you-

“It doesn’t matter how I know.” you interrupt. “Just don’t talk to me again.”

Taehyung jumps forward to grab your arm, making you turn and face him. “No, stop. That was nothing. I didn’t mean any of that. Why would I? We talked — I talked, I haven’t talked to anyone like that in years and I did with you! We, us, I liked it a lot and so did you. You can’t deny that, I know how you feel. ” he yells, holding onto your arm to prevent you from leaving. “I don’t know what it was or what we are and I admit I was being a douchebag, but do you really think I put in all that effort just to get an invite to a party?”

You could feel the tension hang in the air as if it were a tangible object and you could see his brain run miles behind his desperate eyes, it felt like he was saying he might’ve liked you. Wait, did he just admit that he did.

How ridiculous.

Was he doing it in some last ditch effort to seem innocent, like his actions were warranted? You couldn’t trust him. He still approached you with an ulterior motive, and knowing that he did, discounted most of the priceless rom com interactions you had replayed countlessly in your mind. You didn’t even want to look at him, you despised liars.

“Yes, yes I do Taehyung.” Shaking his arm off of yours. “Come to the party if you want, just don’t bother me again. I can’t believe I was so stupid to even maybe kind of like you. Did you have fun making fun of me behind my back while I poured my feelings, ambitions and insecurities over text to eyes that should’ve only been yours? Did you and Namjoon joke about them together? Did you even once consider how I would feel? Did you even consider me as a friend?”

“Y/N, it wasn’t like that.” he snaps. “At first it was, but things changed.”

“Yeah things changed my ass, you got caught out lying. Theres more to life than pleasing your friends and hurting strangers Taehyung.”

“Strangers?” he asks, his eyes filling with a flame you couldn’t recognise. “Is that what you think you are to me?”

“Oh, I’m not? You think a week of talking under false pretence makes you qualified to be more than that? Look, I’m done. I want to go home and cry over how stupid I am. For the first time in my entire life I felt excited over something as trivial as a morning message, I got butterflies and I felt nervous coming to school because I knew you’d talk to me again. After everything that I’ve been through, I thought that I’d throw caution into the wind and open my heart. What a mistake that was. You aren’t as nice as you think you are Kim Taehyung. And now I know that too.” you yell, finally fed up with this entire situation. He’s surprised by your tone of voice and his face pales and his lower lip quivers. He looks sad or hurt, you don’t know which but the image stays painted on the back of your eyelids when you give him one last once over before running down the hallway.

You kind of hoped Taehyung would chase after you to apologise, to say something, but Taehyung was afraid you’d maul him if he followed, so he didn’t.

He didn’t even say sorry.

Stopping in the empty school hallway, you promised yourself then and there that you would never fall in love or even in like with Kim Taehyung. You were nearly charmed, you were nearly romanced by it all too.

You were so stupid.

After the graduation ceremony, you walked to the hair salon and asked them to cut and dye your hair. Getting a shade lighter from your natural dark brown hair, you decide bangs could be cute and get that too. You donate all of your clothes to charity and you throw out every single piece of high school paper.

You felt better and you felt stronger.

Your first year of university was nice. You made lots of friends in the music department and put a lot of effort into your social life. You were opening your wings and becoming a social butterfly.

It felt nice. It felt right.

It was in the second semester when you realised that you attended the same university as Taehyung. He was in the acting department, so your classes were on opposite sides of the campus.

You thought he would be gracious enough to avoid you. You weren’t forgiving enough to a person who didn’t seem at all apologetic, even if he was young and stupid at the time.

You were stubborn.

He did try to talk to you when he noticed you sitting alone in the library or waiting in line at the cafe by uni for your usual vanilla chai latte. He couldn’t understand the campus craze about that love story and how the entire female student body would order it in some weird  romance fetish.

Standing three people behind you in the line, he watches you swipe your card into the eftpos machine and make small talk with the famous chestnut barista.

“I’m not a doctor or anything but these drinks are like tranquillisers and are so good for my dysfunctional sleeping patterns.” you grin, handing the machine back to him.

“It’s good to hear that I do more than just rope hearts in with those drinks. Hey, speaking of hearts, Mia was telling me the other day that she barely sees you. Spare me a favour and go see her? I want to be able to kiss my girlfriend without your sister barging through the door and ruining the mood. I love your sister but I love my girlfriend more.”

“Ew, okay. Thanks for telling that?” you raise your eyebrows as the other barista hands you your drink. “I still can’t believe how famous you and your girlfriend are. It disgusts me. Anyways, have a good day Hoseok.”

“Sounds like someones lonely. If you want a boyfriend, I have friends who are single. Just say the word,” he winks, making you blush. “You have a great day too Y/N, I’ll see you later.” he laughs, waving at you as you leave.  

Deciding against caffeine, Taehyung runs after you as you leave. This would be attempt number 7 at trying to talk to you. Rounding the corner of the cafe, he swears under his breath when he watches you pant as you get in your car and leave.

You ran. Again,.

Truth be told you saw him in the line as your waited for your drink. You felt his scolding gaze on your back the entire time and knew he would try and talk to you as you left, but running away from those situations before they could happen became your signature move.

Your relationship with him, without actually having any resemblance of a relationship, was tiring. Innocent glances from across lecture theatres or when he saw you at parties, curious glances in study groups and awkward tension if you were too close. The tiring part was avoiding him.

No-one could understand why you’d want to avoid him. He was good-looking, stylish and smart, but your friends helped you run away anyway. They kind of liked being affiliated with Taehyungs group of attractive friends, but found the tension between you and him too suffocating to bare. So out of respect for your friendship, they didn’t ask questions and they didn’t intervene.

Again, you were thankful.

Taehyung couldn’t hide it anymore. He was sick of your flat tyre attitude and your motivated agenda to always avoid him. He just wanted to be friends with you, so he could live comfortably. He wanted to apologise and move on, but you wouldn’t let him.

At the very end of your first year, and the beginning of summer school. You moved in with your sister. You couldn’t afford to live in the dorms anymore and you were glad you had her apartment to fall back on.

You couldn’t sleep and your neighbours were loud and everything was a clusterfuck of suck. Of course you knew your sister liked to throw parties and casual get togethers, you figured it would be a weekend only thing. Just so long as you got good sleep on the weekdays, you were happy.

What you didn’t know about the arrangement was how exclusive she had become with Taehyung and his friends.

True to form, on the day of your high school graduation, she found Taehyung and pulled him into an affectionate bear hug in pure unadultered joy. She couldn’t thank him enough and Taehyung seemed to marvel at the affection and felt less guilty. Atleast someone came out of the situation happy.

After meeting his friends and becoming fond of his older friend Jin, they attached themselves to her parasitically. They enjoyed the benefits of her friendship, while you eternally rolled your eyes. Had you known that Taehyung would almost always be in the same domain, you probably would’ve just found a job instead and stayed in the dorms.

But you didn’t. You weren’t going to let him dictate your life.

The casual drink ups she hosted meant late nights at the library or at a cafe, staying over at friends houses and doing everything you can to avoid him. It was practical and beneficial for your academics. You got lots of work completed before their deadlines and lots of guitar practice in between.

You were happy.

Sitting at his second year introductory lecture for his music paper, Taehyung flicks the freshly died red tips of his hair out from his face as he waits for the lecture to begin. “So boring.” he moans, shifting his body to comfortably mould into his seat.

Dropping his head onto the arm he had sprawled across his desk, he closes his drooping eyes. Usually he’d be concerned and worried over the absence of his desk partner, but he was so tired from the festive events of last night to even care. His thirst for alcohol was drying up and he found himself sober almost all of the time, in search for something that will make him feel even more alive.

You were still ignoring him and he was becoming increasingly aware of your presence and your stupid strawberry apple scented shampoo that drove him crazy. He didn’t want to but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from you whenever you were near.

At this point he had tried everything but talking to you to get your attention and he needed something that would make you stay long enough so he could.

He watched you run away like you were the plague a million times before he realised that it bothered him. Its not like he had dated you or thought of you as anything other than potential. Its just that it was weird and it didn’t feel right that you hated him so much.

They were just sunflowers.  

He mulled over how much he screwed up a potentially great friendship and was willing to work hard to gain your trust, to be friends again.

He wanted to listen to music with you or stand in cafe lines laughing with you. He wanted to study and have deep 3am conversations with you. He wanted you to pass by him with a smile and a wave like you did with everyone else. He just wanted you to be okay with him.

It was the simple things really that made him feel like he was a firework, burning up all on his own and all because of you.

The door to the lecture hall opens and bangs against the wall loudly but Taehyung doesn’t look up. Instead, he nuzzles into the crook of his elbow, feeling the lull of sleep slowly pull him into the void.

“I’m sorry I’m late. Oh, it hasn’t started? Oh thank the heavens,” you say, panting to the teaching assistant seated by the door. “My seat? Oh, next to the sleeping boy? Alright, thank-you. Sorry again.”

You rush down the aisles of desks to find the last vacant seat.

You had accidentally put your alarm on PM instead of AM and only had 10 minutes to run like hell to class. You weren’t able to apply make up or tame your wild wet hair in time. You looked like shit, but atleast you were well rested.

Placing your bag on top of the desk, you slink hurriedly into the chair beside him eager to get this class over and done with. Leaning back in your chair, you relax your breathing and fan your hot red face.

Pushing in your chair, you take out your notebook and pen, preparing to take any important notes. The movement ushers your sleeping desk partner awake and he groans at the displeasure.

Licking his lips, Taehyung sits up and looks at his rude desk parter with the intention of telling them to soften their movements so he can sleep a little longer. But he stiffens and the words die in his mouth when he realises who his desk partner is and then suddenly, Taehyung doesn’t think this class will be boring anymore.

“Y/N.” he smiles.

“What are you doing here?”

Opening the front door to an ocean of drunk college seniors wasn’t exactly what you had in mind on a Friday night. The plethora of sweaty bodies and the throbbing of bass music made it nearly impossible for you to enter the safety of your home.  

It was kind of intoxicating, the feel of it all. How the lights cascaded down in strobes of red and green, and how the crowd of dancers throbbed against the music, hungry to climb the peak of the beat. You were surrounded, completely surrounded by strangers in your own home.

Only God knows how many people have trashed your room now, have peed in your plants or have consummated drunken regrets in your bed.

But where was all the furniture? you thought. You were sure a lamp used to live by the door, and a couch against the far wall and you remembered family portraits hung everywhere, but everything was gone. The house was completely empty of your stuff.

Pushing through the brick walls of strangers, your eyes get pulled up from the ground by some magnetic force to Jins concerned chestnut orbs across the room.

Waving you over with a smile, you spot Mia beside him talking to her friends. You didn’t exactly hate her friends but because they practically lived in your house, you held them each accountable for every Friday night and every piece of broken furniture. This party was out of control though, there was no way in hell that Mia threw this on her own knowing the reputable harm they could suffer trying to find another rental apartment when they would eventually get evicted.

Anger built up in the pit of your stomach at the sight of her laughing, the infectious sound spreading to her friends. How could she laugh this off when the impeding homeless status loomed so high above your heads.And wasn’t there a TV there before?

Walking passed Jin, you shove Mia’s shoulder. “What is this? And where is all of our stuff?”

“At Taehyungs.” she slurs in response. “And guess what! No rent! So you don’t have to work at that cafe!” she yells happily, affectionally rubbing your face with her sweaty palm. She was drunk. Very drunk.

Shoving her hand away, you step forward in anger. “That doesn’t explain why you have a whole college of people in our house. If someone breaks a window, or a wall, we can’t afford to fix it.”

“Y/N, I tried. I really did.” Jin smiles apologetically, letting Mia lean on him.“Taehyung should be around if you want to talk with him. I’m sorry that this had to happen without you knowing.”

Poking the inside of your cheek with your tongue, you gape at him incredulously. “Jin, lets skip the bullshit apologies. Sorry didn’t stop you from drinking your gin or inviting your friends. And I have a working phone too you know.” Running your hands through your hair, you take another deep breath.

You can’t remember a time where you weren’t frustrated with these people. “Just look after her.” you spat, stepping away from the group and turning around in search for a drink or for something that could make you less annoyed at the world.

Spotting a chilli bin of alcohol leaning against the wall, you rush over and open the lid. Grabbing the first beer bottle your excruciatingly sober fingers could find, you twist the bottle cap off against your forearm and slowly bring it to your mouth. You weren’t sure if jumping into the cess pool of beer was a good idea, what was the rhyme, beer before grass your on your ass, grass before beer you’re in the clear?

You never understood what that exactly meant, were you supposed  to eat some sort of grass? Is that why guys like to drink beer outside? Either way, you planned to be on your ass blind drunk by 1, or in twenty minutes if you were lucky.  Hoping to be lucky, you scull the drink at full force and slam the bottle down on the table beside you. The alcohol swirled a cautious reminder of your lightweight status as you felt your stomach already detest the quick consumption.

“Holy shit, that was impressive.” a voice cheers beside you. Turning your face to acknowledge the person invading your silent rage, you almost immediately roll your eyes. The boy was leaning leisurely against the wall in ripped black skinny jeans and a white button up with a black leather jacket. And the boy was Kim Taehyung.

Suddenly feeling frustrated again, you bite your bottom lip. No amount of alcohol can iron out the wrinkles Taehyung makes in the sheets of your rage, even if he did look sexy as hell doing it.  

“Tough day?” he asks, taking a sip from his bottle. “You look like you want to kill someone.”

Narrowing your eyes at him, you scoff. “Just go away.”

“Maybe I will.” he frowns, dangling the bottle in front of your face. “Or maybe I won’t.”

The see-through bottle of vodka that hung loosely from his fingertips cried out an incessant need to be wasted and the more his crescent moon eyes burned holes into your skin, the more you wanted to rip the bottle from his stupid murderous hands and save yourself from having to converse with him.

You hated Taehyung and you were pretty sure Taehyung hated you back. You did spend a good year and a half completely ignoring him, so not without good reason.  

Knowing that though didn’t stop you from ripping the bottle from his slimy fingers and bringing it to your mouth. He already hated you, so theres no point in being nice really. “Y/N’s a bad girl hey?” he laughs, watching you practically inhale his alcohol.

Regretting your decision almost immediately, you close yours eyes against the strong burn of vodka. “You know Taehyung, I could say the same about you.” you choke, still feeling the burn of the vodka in your throat.

Taehyung relaxes against the wall in a silent fit of laughter. “That would’ve burned me had it not burnt you first.” he grins, tilting his face to study yours.  

“Why are you staring at me?” you ask, still grimacing from the vodka.

“I want you to smile at me. We are desk partners and you refuse to show me them pearly whites, how could I not want to see you smile,” he stammers, crossing his arms over his chest. “I want to hear your laugh too.”

You weren’t sure if it was the intimacy of his attention or the alcohol that was making you blush, either way, you wanted no part in it. “Bold demand from you Mr. Popular Kim Taehyung. Go away, you’re drunk.”

“I’m not drunk, I just —you never do and I want you too.” he says, stepping forward.

You groan loudly at his eagerness to trap you into a conversation. Putting your arms in the pocket of your jumper you yell over the music. “Well I would if you got the hint, or the hints for the past two years that I don’t actually like you.”

He laughs, stepping close to whisper in your ear. “We’re roommates now. Can’t we just forget high school and move on with our lives. Well, mainly you because I’m over it,” His breath sends a shudder down your spine as he adds in a low voice. “I’d really like to be friends with you.”

He was so close to your face that you could see the pores on his nose and how red and dilated his eyes were. It only made you grimace harder. “I can see right through you Taehyung. Hot guys like you only want one thing.”

“You think I’m hot?” he grins, winking at you suggestively.

Standing straighter you poke your finger into his chest, pushing him away from you. The room was already suffocating enough, closeness between you and him wasn’t exactly helping the anxiety you felt.

“Oh please, even you think you’re hot.” you grimace. “Don’t look at me like one of the girls you think you’re going to get. I refuse to like assholes like you.”

“What if I’m not like the others?” he asks, his eyes twinkling under the strobes of light. “You refuse to like me? We’ll see about that.” he grins, putting his sunglasses on and swiping another bottle of vodka from the chilli-bin. “Just want to mention that I feel blessed that you stopped ignoring me two months ago and everyday feels like a dream when you aren’t being the ice queen to me. How about we get out of here?”

“You can go and take all your five hundred people with you.” you grin, satisfied with your comeback. “Desk partners don’t ignore each other, especially when they have to actually do work together. You should count your blessings that I decided to be nicer to you.”

“I do everyday. Wait, is that half of a smile I see? Must be my lucky day. Come on, lets have some fun.” he beams, pushing off against the wall and pulling you within the crowd of people.

“Let me make myself clear Taehyung, this does not change how much I do not like you.” you frown and he mirrors your expression.

Pulling you harder towards him, he yells loudly over the music. “Thats good to know because I hate you too. Come on.”

Clinging to his extended hand, you watch his back get swallowed by the crowd. Had it not been for his hand holding yours tightly, you probably would’ve let go.

You have no idea where he’s taking you but in that very moment, you don’t care. Where the vodka goes, you go. The alcohol made you feel free and the idea of being around the campus hottie and notorious sunflower murderer, made you feel more alive than you cared to admit.

In your first year of university you had made some pretty horrible friend choices. They showed you a life outside of the books and inside the clubs - a boring adventure you had pretended to love so much that sometimes now, you crave it.

Taehyung tugs your hand and pulls you down the hallway, you hadn’t even realised you were holding your breath until he turns to ask if you are okay. You half smile and grab the second bottle out of his hands. Maintaining your eye contact with him, you take a drink.

“I am now.” you murmur, wiping your mouth with your arm. “Was this your idea of getting out of here?” you say, taking in the emptiness of the hallway outside your old bedroom door.

He laughs lowly. “You looked like you were going to have a panic attack or something back there. Thought you’d appreciate some air.”

You blink back his words. “Thats actually kind of thoughtful but I think I’ll be fine after a couple more drinks. Oh, and if I get drunk …stay away from me okay.”

He salutes you and opens your door. “Lets drink in here, its better than out there.” You nod and he clinks his bottle with yours. “We’re not stopping until these bottles are empty okay.”

“Sounds like a plan to me.” you yell, running into the room as he closes it behind you.

You swayed to the music as a rush suddenly filled your veins. Taehyung was laughing and drinking and swaying with you and the feeling of not being alone felt so addictive it felt almost right. Its not until the morning after where you fully understand the gravity of your choice of drunk company and why addiction is usually a bad thing.

The splitting headache that threatened to tear the hemispheres of your brain apart, held your drunk adventures with Taehyung captive and you weren’t sure if that was a good or a bad thing.  Looking down at your almost naked body, you can only assume that whatever happened between you and him wasn’t good.  

Why do I have no shirt on?

Sliding back into your jumper, you closely observe your skin. You didn’t have hickies or any other evidence of sex —good. You were alone — also good and the bedroom door was locked — amazing.

“Y/N, wake up please. Seriously oh my god, fucking wake up already!” Mia yells, pounding profusely on the bedroom door. “Y/N, we need to leave now!” she panics, kicking the door. Opening the door, your immediately pulled behind your sister and dragged out of the house.

Apparently you only had approximately twenty minutes to get out of the apartment before the police would be called and Mia had been frantically trying to unlock the door and get you out. Pushed into Mias car, you can only smile at the eighth forced eviction since living with her and how Mia’s party had completely trashed the house.

How someone managed to put chairs into the tree on the front porch, burn the grass into the shape of a giant dick and destroy the mailbox was beyond you.

Banging her head against the steering wheel again she laughs. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. That sleeze - our landlord, he came over two nights ago and ….I had this feeling but I ignored it. Probably shouldn’t have ignored it, I mean it could have been you instead.” she stops, banging her head again and resting it on the steering wheel. “I just didn’t want to think he would do it, you know. Or that anyone of his esteem would.”

“What are you talking about?” you murmured, placing your hand on her shoulder. “Mia whats happened?”

“I thought it was suspicious that our rent was so cheap. That dirty bastard tried to touch me —I let him in thinking that he was fixing a drainage leak and he cornered me in the lounge. I kept saying no and he wouldn’t listen. So I socked him in the nose like dad taught us.” she says, shaking her head against the steering wheel. “I’ve never seen a nose break so hard Y/N. I nearly felt sorry for him. ”

Mia raises her head, her eyes puffy and gloomy as she peers at you. “I’ve never seen a grown man run so fast. And then I called my friends looking for a place to stay and Taehyung offered his home.”

Placing her head back on the steering wheel, Mia sighs loudly. “We officially live with Kim Taehyung now. Isn’t life great.”  

You pat Mias back, “Well, we should probably go home then.”

Mia scoffs, gaping at you incredulously, “What no argument?”

“No point.” you murmur in reply. “I can understand now why you threw such a big party. I only regret not smashing a window.”

Mia laughs, starting the ignition and driving out of the driveway. “Y/N as your older sister I need to say that if a guy treats you like shit, you sock them so hard in the mouth that their mother will feel it and regret birthing such a creature. Okay?”

You nod in agreement and she rubs your shoulder. “I hope you don’t ever have to be put in a position where you feel like violence is warranted. Its scares me just thinking about it.”

Covering her hand on the steering wheel as she drives, you give it a comforting squeeze. “Everything is going to be okay, we’ve got each other. Lets just go to Taehyung’s, maybe report him and then forget about it.”

You and Mia nod in agreement and drive in silence to his house. He lived close to campus so his house wasn’t that far away from yours.

Mia had to triple check the address on the phone to him because the house he directed her to was the biggest and most lavish house on the block.  

You stayed outside to admire the urban architecture of the two story building as she raced inside. The house was huge and the front lawn was bigger. The inside was even more impressive. Mahogany wooden floors, cream walls and home decoration on every single wall. The lounge was comfortable. Dark grey carpet, light beige furniture and an automatic fire place as the centre piece. You could see yourself sitting in front of it reading a book. It was honestly the dream house from the Sims you never had the patience to build.

It was a little unbelievable how Taehyung was the only person living in this house, but it kind of made sense as to why he never goes home. To be on your own in this house would drive anyone crazy.

As instructed by Mia, Taehyung preferred if you had the room next to his and Mia have the upstairs bedroom. You couldn’t think of a particular reason why but you didn’t care enough to ask. After unpacking your belongings, you set your books on your nightstand and lay atop your new bed.

You hear the low hum of Taehyung singing through the wall and you bathe in the sound. He was a good singer and the jazz quality of his voice sent electricity through your body. Curling in on yourself, you press your ear against the wall and smile. The longer you listened the harder it felt like your heart was consuming itself.

“I wonder what he’s doing?” you whisper before being startled by your thoughts. Why you were wondering what he was doing? You hate him Y/N.

Do I? The question itself provokes a train of broken memories from the night before and you feel the constraints of your hangover letting go as you cover your mouth in shock or more so, in embarrassment.

Taehyung slips out of his ripped black jeans and covers his lower body with the empty chip bowl. “Stop staring at me, I’m shy.”

You laugh. “Oh please, you didn’t look shy when I caught that girl over the summer break giving you a blowjob in the recording studios at school.” Narrowing your eyes, you bring your index finger to your temple, “What was her name, Ellie?”

Taehyung drops the chip bowl and you watch it fall.

“Fine. You get this question wrong and your jumper and shirt come off. What is a group of bears called?”

“Taehyung! Are you serious? Who’s going to know that?” you whine, nearly falling over in the process.

“So you don’t know what a group of bears are called.” he snorts, throwing his hands in the air in success. “Clothes. Off. Now.” he snarls, leaning on the bedroom door for support.

Disappointed in the unfair game but too drunk to even second guess his ulterior motive, you groan.“You can’t laugh at my bra choice okay, had I known I would be taking my clothes off, I would’ve avoided you.”

“Yeah but you didn’t and we’re best friends now. So, don’t be mean.” he says, sliding down the door to sit on the ground.

Turning away to  rip off your jumper, you take your time with the buttons on your blouse. You weren’t wasted but you felt drunk enough to need the wall for support.

“Hurry up! We haven’t finished the game. I don’t like losing.” he moans, leaning his head against the wall again and closing his eyes.

Turning back around, you stumble to grab the bottle of vodka at your feet, but stop when you realise its empty. “Fucking hell Taehyung, can’t a girl be shy?” you sob, slowly sliding the blouse off.

“You aren’t a ..girl ..you are …um” he stammers, eyes glued to your chest.  “Those are nice.”

Feeling defensive, you cover your chest with your arms. “I don’t remember allowing commentary on my body. You’re too sober, drink.”

Taehyung smiles a cheeky grin. “I wanted to be a bit sober to remember.”

Running your hands across your stomach, you walk towards him. “You might as well since you are never going to see my body again.”

Leaning down to grab the bottle of alcohol sitting beside him, Taehyung pulls you down to his lap.

“Here.” he says, passing you the bottle. Taehyung watches you closely wrap your lips around the top of the bottle and pour the contents down your throat. He found it strangely erotic watching you drink, especially with how close you were and how nice your boobs looked at his angle.  

Pulling the bottle away from your mouth, you bring it to his mouth. “No stopping until they are empty remember! Drink.”

Holding the bottle to his mouth, he stares at you through slitted eyes and you innocently touch his biceps. “I didn’t think you’d be so muscular,” you admit sheepishly, trying to keep your eyes open. “I like your arms.”

He hiccups putting the bottle back down beside him, staring at you in confusion. “My arms?” you nod. “Your arms.”

Taehyung smiles down at you and wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to his chest. “I like you when you’re drunk, you talk to me, you look at me, you touch me. Lets be drunk forever Y/N.” he sings, swaying you.

“Hey, stop swaying me. I’m not a baby.” you frown, poking your finger into his cheek.

Taehyung grabs your finger, his brows furrowed and eyes dark. “Can’t you be this affectionate when you’re sober?”

There was a sudden seriousness to his voice that made your heart shake as he wraps his hand around your finger, sending barbs of warmth down to your toes.

“With you?” you ask, looking into his eyes. You swear his eyes were black and bold before but now, the longer you looked, the more you saw melted caramel behind the alcohol shine. You’ve known him for years but right then and there, it felt like the first time you had ever actually looked at him.

“With me.” he says, rubbing circles into your lower back. “Just me.”

Bringing your hand up to cup his cheek, he closes his eyes and leans into your palm. The intimacy of the moment was more intoxicating than anything. The harder your heart raced against your ribs, the faster time seemed to slip away from you.

“With just you.” you murmur, running your thumb along the lines of his cupids bow to across his pink cheeks. His jaw slackened as you ran your thumb behind his ear and down his jaw to rest on his chin. His mouth was agape in wonder enjoying the pleasure of your touch and his gaze was pensive as he watched you explore his face.

Running his tongue over his lips, he watches your gaze drop to his mouth in curiosity and you watch as his lips shift to whisper your name.

“Y/N.”

You hum in response as you play with the hair on the back of his head, and slowly bring your slitted eyes to his.

“Y/N. I like you. I’m admitting it because I know you won’t remember. So Y/N, I like you and I have liked you since before I killed your sunflowers.”

Your hand stills in his hair and he goes rigid against you. For a long moment, he looks absolutely terrified of what you’re going to do next. But when you caress his cheeks with your hands, he softens into your embrace again and smiles.

You watch the edges of his mouth rise and your curiosity becomes the better of you. You wanted to know what he tasted like, what he felt like and if his kisses really did pull down stars like all the other girls said they did.

So you looked into his melted caramel eyes one last time before you leant forward and pressed your lips to his.

“Shit.” you scream, thrashing against the bedsheets. “Fuck Fuck Fuck. What have I done.”

Taehyung stops singing and almost immediately runs to your room. “Y/N, I heard you scream. Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

Looking up to meet his frazzled expression, your eyes fall to his lips and your heart begins to soar through your chest. The memory flickers through your brain like a movie, in complete disbelief that you remembered when you usually didn’t, in disbelief of his confession, in disbelief it actually happened and even more in disbelief that you wanted to do it again. Throwing your face back into the pillow, you sob into your pillows.

You kissed Kim Taehyung and you liked it.

If someone asked you to write a list of things you’re good at, you’d probably write, “I am a really good drinker.” and nothing else because you don’t remember anything in the morning enough to criticise yourself. You’re the worlds best drinker in your own right. If theres one thing you do know about drinking however, it’s that you should stop. Drinking makes you aware of how affectionately deprived you are and it bestows the confidence to be intimate with others.   The strangest part about this entire thing? Wine usually makes you black out. Beer makes you regret and vodka usually takes away your night for the rest of your life. Maybe it was fate or the perils of mixing your drinks because somehow you remembered this one, or well enough to know that you and Taehyung could never just be friends anymore.

“Are you alright?” he repeats, pulling you out of your dazed expression. You were okay before but now? Now you were mad. Standing up, you shakily slap him across his cheek. The loud stinging noise cuts through the eerie silence of your new residence and the red outline of your palm makes a home on his soft olive skin. “Get. Out,” you shout, shaking with the adrenaline coursing through your veins. “Right now.” He stares back in equal amounts of shock and equal amounts of confusion. “Wh-what was that for?” he stutters, cupping his cheek. Raising your eyebrows you yell, “What was that for?!” Pacing the room, you cover your face with your hands. You were beyond embarrassed and you were beyond upset that the context of his confession last night meant that it had happened before. You were angry. You were so angry that your first kiss had been while you were drunk and while you were with him. The little shread of intimacy that you don’t normally grace, had been with him.   Turning to him again, you push against his chest, pushing him towards the door. You needed to be alone, you needed to cry, you needed to do something that wasn’t around him. But as you push against him, he stands his ground and grabs your hands. Holding them above your head tightly with one hand, pulling you close to his face with the other. The red tips of his hair are touching your brows as you stand frozen, almost nose to nose, stunned by his sudden forcefulness. To be fair Y/N you did just slap him.   Searching his eyes as he was with yours, you silently beg that they weren’t memories and that they were just figments of your imagination, but the longer you stare back, the quicker your anger erodes down to confusion. Your words of discomfort were lodged in your throat and you were suddenly overcome with the desire to lean forward and see for yourself if they were memories or not. “Y/N,” he says, interrupting your train of thought, his tone of voice low and heavy. “Do you remember… do you remember anything from last night?” He stares at you with bold coffee coloured eyes as you flicker your gaze down to his lips and then back to his eyes. The tension was so palpable, so dense, that the idea of staying so close to him when he was expecting an answer you didn’t want to provide, especially after hitting him, suddenly felt like a noose as you struggled to breathe.

 You brush your nose against his when you pull away. Your hearts racing and your palms are sweating and you’re absolutely sure your blushing to the tips of your ears when you gape back at him. “Y/N,” He stands abruptly, grabbing your wrist again. “Do you remember us, yes or no?” “Us?” you ask, swallowing buckets of guilt as you gape at the violet artwork on his neck. I didn’t do that did I? “These aren’t from you,” he says, following your gaze. “It was a hard night.” Not wanting to ask why, you ask instead. “Do you remember anything from last night?” He avoids your eye contact at this question before shaking his head. Are we both playing coy?   

“I remember everything,” he glowers suddenly, leaning against the door. “The question I want to know, is how much you remember.” He was definitely not playing coy. “Y/N!” Mia yells from down the hallway. “Come to my room, I have some of your boxes!” You’ve never been more thankful for Mia than in this very moment. Grimacing at Taehyung, you skip passed him but not without being grabbed by him again. “This conversation isn’t over.” Shaking his arm off you smile, “I don’t remember anything from last night but you giving me vodka. The headache I’m nurturing is the product of thinking it was a good idea to drink with you.” You watch his eyebrows burrow at your obvious lie. “I think you’re lying.” he says, crossing his arms over his chest. “Why would I need to do that?”, you say confidently. You weren’t sure where all this confidence to speak up was coming from and its clear from his reaction that he wasn’t sure either.   Taehyung stands up straighter, removing his arms from his chest. Rubbing his neck he stutters, “W-Well o-okay the-then.” Turning from his suddenly embarrassed expression, you yell to Mia. “I’m having a shower first Mia!” shooting him one last glance, you hurriedly walk into the bathroom and slam the door behind you. Ripping off your clothes, you turn the shower on and jump underneath the stream of hot water. You suddenly felt prudent, afraid that the naivety of your nature was a trap for deceit, especially given Taehyung’s seemingly hidden manipulative side. So as you pour soap into the palm you slapped him with, you decide to erase the memory of last night and scrub away the reminder of your sinful behavior. If only water could carve away the thoughts that torment our minds. 

2 Months Later

“Y/N, get in this shower right now and pull your hair out of this goddamn drain.” Taehyung growls, his loud voice echoing against the bathroom tiles. “The water isn’t going down because of you!” It had been officially two months since you started living with Taehyung and things were going well. Ignoring his obsession with wanting you to see him naked, he was a harmless kitten with now freshly dyed brown hair. “Taehyung!” you yell back. “Gross. I’m not falling for that.” He doesn’t reply but you can hear his giggles muffled by what you think might be his hands. He has too much fun trying than succeeding. Living with him didn’t turn out to be such a bad idea. He respected your privacy enough to knock before barreling into your bedroom and although you were grumpy most of the time, it didn’t incite arguments with the surprisingly bubbly and protective man child.  He was immature, childish, playful and emotional, and he really loved to cuddle.

 It was nice not feeling alone. 



Since your bedrooms were separated by a thin wall, after a while, Taehyung began to knock on the wall before running to your room with his pillow. The first time he did, you were so frightened that you nearly punched him in the throat. The second time he did, you were too tired to say no and had consequently woken up with his hair in your mouth and his hands on places they shouldn’t. And by the third time, you were already in love with his scent and the way he rubbed your back to sleep. It was something your mother used to do and he was welcome in your room so long as he did. Setting up a wall knocking system, one knock meant hello, are you awake and three knocks were a warning, im coming over. Despite this, living with him had become a well nurtured secret. He would warn you when his friends would come over and you would stay at the library until they left. Since he was a well known colleague of yours and a student lusted over by many, he was afraid of unneeded conflict, he was afraid of what they might think. 

 You avoided each other at uni but still indulged in note passing and secret winks. The thought never crossed his mind that you actually owned a phone, he enjoyed the excitement of a secret too much. So beside the handful of Mia’s friends and a couple of his, you became a secret.  


“Alright class. I want you to open your minds, I don’t want some cheap 1-minute noodle kind of essays. I want authentic, different, tasteful ramyeon. Which is exactly why this essay is now a group report.” Mr. Jones yells enthusiastically, eliciting collective groans from his audience.   Waiting for the chatter and rage to simmer down, he paces behind the podium with his thumb and his index finger vice pinching his chin. His other hand furiously rubbed the purple and orange hideously checkered fabric on his stomach. You had noticed a little quirk about him, he would rub his stomach when he was bursting at the seems to yell something extraordinary or socially devastating. And from the pensive but sadistic expression he wore behind his glasses, it was the latter. “You’ll be in random groups of fours, your names are down here and yes, before you ask, I am Satan. Beside your name, feel free to sign your soul away so I know you attended the class. Oh and don’t have too much fun sharing your workload with your fellow inferno buddies. On that note, you are all free to roam your real hell. Class dismissed.” Sinking back down into your seat, you gather up your materials. You hadn’t been paying attention that entire lecture or for that fact, any of them. You were so tired all the time that you kind of just dozed off in his classes. He was too intelligent for you to keep up and you weren’t even sure what the class was on anymore.

Walking down the stairs, you hurriedly skim the papers content for your name and fell upon your group.

Claudia Smith Y/N Y/L/N
 Gabby Young 
Park Jimin

“There goes any prospect of a good grade,” you groan, smacking your forehead. Of all the people to get, you got your slacker friends. “Definitely not going to get any work done with this lot.” Taking a picture of the piece of paper, you send it to their Facebook accounts and in the process make a group chat. 


You
 Screw our lives, we got put into a group report together for Mr. Jones’ class.

Jimin 
 Oh thank god, someone smart

Gabby 
You don’t sound excited Y/N? That’s great news! :)

Claudia
 Its bcos she’s single Gabs, single people dnt get excited over anything.

You Dump your boyfriend and date me then

Claudia Ur funny. I’ve got class now, so we could meet up tomorrow morning? Get a head start?

Jimin 
 I’ll date you Y/N ;) My class is next door to yours, wait up and I’ll walk you to your next class bae

You I’ll punch you in the throat Jimin.

Jimin 
Sounds like a date to me baby ;) see you guys tomorrow!

Gabby
 Ew guys seriously ugh. Tomorrow sounds good :)

You Don’t call me baby. 
Library, 9am. See you then team.


“Y/N,” Jimin yells as you leave the room, his cheerful voice bouncing off every surface of the hallway. “Wait up.” “I’m coming!” he yelps as you slowly start walking away, his black hair bobbing in the wind as his little legs ran towards you. Jimin had a fascination with leather pants and showing off his toned thighs, he –much like Taehyung, loved the attention. And you, much like every other girl, loved giving it to him. Who wouldn’t. Stopping beside you he hooks his arm around yours. The action was completely normal for Jimin, he was loud and proud about his affection for you, no matter how uncomfortable it made you feel. “Y/N, you’ve got comp class right now in the Murphy block right?” he grins, pushing you towards that general direction. “Lets go then, don’t want my girlfriend being late to class.”   “I’m not going to ask how you know that Jimin but oh my god, don’t say that out loud because if people hear you, I will kill you.” You whisper, looking around before slapping his forearm. You had become friends with Jimin in your freshmen year. He had dropped his wallet and like the good natured person you were, you searched for him all over campus just to give it back. He admired your effort and had decided to reward you with his friendship, despite chagrin from others. Being close to guys that looked like Jimin meant the constant need to tell people you were just friends. It didn’t help that Jimin enjoyed being physically affectionate with you or that he was currently dragging you to class with a cheshire grin. The jealous stares, the malicious whispers, it didn’t cross his mind how it might affect you, he was just too happy being himself. Stopping outside the threshold of two hours of boredom with Taehyung, Jimin kisses you on the cheek and shoves your shoulders in the open classroom. You turn to wave goodbye but notice a familiar mischievous gleam in his chocolate eyes. Don’t do it Jimin, don’t you dare do it. Don’t you dare yell anything. You pray, as you turn and rush down the aisles to your seat. “Have a good day baby! Learn lots!” he shouts embarrassingly over the chatter of the classroom. I’m going to kill him. You stop rigid in the middle of the class with a frown before covering your face with your bag. You don’t need to look to know, you can feel their curious eyes burning holes into your body as the room erupts with laughter. Waiting for the class to die down, you sit up straight in your seat and set out your materials. You avoid looking anywhere but straight ahead when you can feel Taehyung’s piercing stare as he nudges you with his elbow. He sits there in silence before slipping a note onto your half of the desk, weary of prying eyes. “Are you and Jimin a thing?” You frown at the note and write back, 
“Whats it to you?” Slipping it on to his desk, you hear the sharp intake of breath before he rushingly scribbles. “What’s it to me? I’m closer to you than him! Are you trying to make me jealous?” You smile before replying, 
“Why would I need to go and do that?” You don’t reply to the other notes he leaves to instead focus on the lesson and after a couple angry huffs on his end, he gets the hint. You probably should tell him that you aren’t but the idea made you excited, you just loved enticing chaos. Why did it matter to him anyway, you’re a free bird! When class ends your about to ask him if he’s going straight home, but as soon as the class ends he shoots out of his seat and storms out. You don’t miss the angry look on his face as he sinks his head into his grey turtleneck sweater. You don’t miss how tightly he’s gripping his black leather bag over his shoulder and you don’t miss the way he doesn’t look back. Taehyung doesn’t come home that night but you hear him sneak in at half past 1. You hear him pant as he slips under his covers. You hear him turn over and over and over. You hear him thrash against his sheets, until you hear him perplex, “I don’t know what to do anymore.” You can almost see him burrowing his brows, rubbing his eyes and licking his lips Turning to face the wall, you hesitantly knock. If he doesn’t reply to you he hates you and you’ve screwed up, but if he does, he doesn’t hate you and you’re happy. He stops groaning and you can hear him shift closer to the wall. He knocks back after a couple minutes of silence and your heart fills with relief. Knocking back twice, you hear him muffle his giggles before he responds with three knocks. Short lived anger, okay. You laugh before knocking back but he doesn’t respond. The shifting of his sheets and the movement of his bed against the wall sound like he’s getting up, but after a couple minutes of nothing, you decide he’s probably just gone back to sleep instead. Rolling back on your side, you hear another knock, but on your door this time as Taehyung opens it and peeps his head through the crack. “Are you sleeping?” he whispers, leaning his head onto the door frame. “I can’t sleep.” Closing your eyes, you shift closer to the wall and lift up your blankets prodding him to join you and he smiles joyfully before shutting the door, rushing over and slipping under the covers. “If I was with Jimin, I wouldn’t let you do this.” You whisper as he wraps his arms around your waist. You feel the budding protest build in your throat as he pulls you close, but you swallow it down when he nudges himself comfortably against your chest. “You can’t just run away from me when you’re angry. I swear to anyone in the clouds Tae that when I do decide to date someone, you’d probably be the first to know.” Taking a deep breath, he rubs your back the way he knows you like. “Yeah, I know.”

 Sinking into his arms after a while, he shifts his head up to the crook of your neck. You were grateful, his hot laboured breaths were quickly defrosting your body. It had been one of the coldest months on record and you welcomed any warmth with open arms. You couldn’t sleep. It had been more than an hour since he came in and your brain just couldn’t relax. Your entire body was on edge, you were too excited and he was way too comfortable. Turning on your back, you subtly shift his body to the side of you, his head laying on your chest, his arms splattered on your abdomen. Selfishly hugging the warmth closer, you wrap your arms around his waist and watch the branches from the tree outside cast shadows on your beige curtains. The moonlight peeped through the cracks of the frost covered window, and you watch it stream light into your room. Following the streaks up to his face, you admire how it accentuates his jaw and the prettiness of his lips. The fluttering of his eyelashes grasp your attention and your eyes widen in surprise. He was still awake.   “Why are you awake?” you ask softly, running your hand through his hair. He doesn’t say anything or nudge closer like he usually does. He looks up to you instead and after a minute of exchanging weird looks, he shifts his body over yours to slowly kiss your cheek. His lips are hot and your cheeks are now undoubtedly hotter at the spontaneous intimacy. Laying his head next to yours, he whispers huskily into the shell of your ear before kissing it. “I don’t like it when Jimin kisses you.” You fight back the shudders creeping down your spine and the sudden calm air dissipates as your heart fights to stay neutral. You swear either the blood in your body has suddenly drained or Taehyung has rewired it and everything is flowing backwards. “Is that it?” you ask, avoiding his probing eyes. “You stayed up for that?”

Taehyung hovers over you again, trapping your head between his hands. The sexual tension sat uncomfortably in front of you, so tangible that you wanted to lean up and either kick it away or grab it. His hair tickled your forehead as he stared doe eyed and serious. “Yes.” he admits, “Jimin is my friend. You can’t date any of my friends.”

You laugh, “You’re friends with everyone Tae, thats hardly fair.” The butterflies in your lower stomach were stabbing holes as you watch his serious expression drip into his signature smile. Resting his head back down beside you, he smirks, “Exactly.” before falling happily back to sleep. The things he does to you.   Taehyung was a mastermind at making your heart confused and as you hold him close, you wonder if maybe he was doing it on purpose because you were slowly and painfully doing what you thought you would never; you were falling for him.   “Shit.”

They say that sometimes the eye of a hurricane is the safest place you can be. And as you watch time, opportunities, dreams and love zip all around you, you can’t help but feel a truth in the saying. And it scares you the most that a single movement could pull you out of comfort and rip you apart.

“What you thinking about?” you ask, nudging Taehyungs ribs. “Must be something serious from the look on your face.”

Taehyung groans loudly before throwing his head back against the couch pillows. “Nothing.” Crossing his arms over his chest, he stares up at the ceiling in complete concentration. Before heaving a sigh and whispering, “I don’t know what to do.”

You had been having these moments with him lately of complete utter silence. No words, no movement, just two people sitting side by side, thinking. The silence wasn’t always comfortable, sometimes it would feel eerie of emotion as if you could feel his feelings swirling in the air around you. He was so transparent to you now, that it almost felt strange to ask what was up, you could feel the tension hitting its peak and you knew he was going to confess.

“Well, just follow your heart then Taehyung.” you say, watching his tongue swipe over his bottom lip.  

Taehyung drops any semblance of happiness before turning to face you. “And what if my heart is telling me to kiss you right now?”

The words fall out of his mouth so recklessly and so unsurprisingly that you don’t blink when you stare back. You almost looked unimpressed, but the feeling seemed so indubitably mutual that you felt as though the moment he presses his lips onto yours, the tension that seemed to accumulate in the house and in your bones would immediately dissipate.

“So what if I let you?” you whisper.

But there is something so unreal about being comfortable and okay with watching but never really having. With seeing these opportunities and never really having the motivation to seek them out because you’re happy and because the happiness you feel right now is good enough. Maybe you were better off in the middle of a hurricane, maybe you just weren’t equipped to take risks, or maybe …you just didn’t have enough of a reason to consider leaving the safety of your comfort in search for a greater purpose -in search of a greater happiness.

“I-I like you,” he stammers, shyly staring at the ground as he scrapes his shoes against the pavement in a nervous feat to avoid your gaze. “I beat up Jimin because he knows that I like you and I swear Y/N, he gets off to my jealousy.”

The sun peeks through the clouds as you laugh and your cheeks redden at the combination of Taehyung’s stare and the heat of summer. You hated summer. You hated it with a passion. Why Taehyung dragged you out of the house to take a walk didn’t make sense to you until this very moment. You laugh. “Y/N. I like you. I’m admitting it because I know you won’t remember. So Y/N, I like you and I have liked you since before I killed your sunflowers,” you mock, watching his face pale in cold hard realisation before you erupt in laughter. “I know you do. You should see your face Tae.”

He grabs your elbow, his eyes serious and expecting, “Wait, so does that mean you like me back?”

It wasn’t strange to think and feel this way, but it was strange that you never actively threw yourself into the flames, into the whirlwind or into the waves of the “what if”. But, you are now, and these thoughts, the scattering of little myriad dreams throughout the fields that floated in your skull and coursed through your veins. Made you aware that maybe you aren’t as happy as you think you are. That you aren’t as okay as you think you might be with staying stagnant and watching “what ifs” fly by. You were becoming ambitious again and greedy for more, you had a sunflower heart, earnest and searching for something more.

“Taehyung!” you yell, banging on the wall. “I’m trying to study. Turn it down or I’m coming over.”

“What was that Y/N?” he yells back before turning the sound up.

Taking off your reading glasses, you pinch the bridge of your nose in frustration before slamming down your pen and running out of your room to his. He was doing everything possible to annoy you for attention and this was the limit, you were done and you were going to beat him up. Reaching for the door handle, Taehyung rips it open on the other side instead and you fall into his arms. Not as gracefully as one would imagine as you slowly start to slip down his chest.

Everything happens too quickly for you to say anything because as soon as you’re on your knees in front of him groaning at the loud music, he has turned the music off, shut the door and turned off the lights. Picking you up, he throws you onto his bed and covers your body with the blankets before planting himself chest-to-chest.

“What the fuck Taehyung? I’m studying,” you yell, hitting his chest and untangling yourself from the sheets. “Seriously?”

“You don’t need to study, you’ve got this. You’re a smart girl.” he laughs, snuggling closer to kitten kiss your nose. “I’m giving you 5 seconds to back up your truck and let me out of here.” You say, gritting your teeth in anger. He nudges himself against you humming in content and when you get up to move, he lifts his leg over you, caging you against his body. To say you aren’t just pissed off would be an understatement, you’re fuming. “Stay with me tonight?” he says, “Just stay here, no more study. You need sleep.” You stare at him in bitter silence as he flutters his eyes closed in triumph. Lifting a foot over his, you hook it around his hips until you push yourself up to straddle his waist. Taehyung tugs his bottom lip between his teeth and his hands rest on the exposed skin of your waist as he watches you with lust-filled pupils through toenail clipping eyelids. You wonder where he thinks this is going.

“Study is my number one priority Taehyung,” you confidently remark. “I don’t have time to screw around.”

“Screw around?” he laughs before suddenly bucking his hips underneath you and you are unable to stop yourself when the half “oomph” and the half moan rips through your lips when you feel more man underneath you than you want to.

He’s smirking knowingly when he bucks his hips again, making you fall flat against his chest. “What do you think you’re doing? I have an exam tomorrow morning.”

He smiles at you as you push yourself back up. “I’m helping you relax.” His grip on your waist was tight but not tight enough; you were a professional at running away.

Your eyebrows cress with the playful challenge as you roll your hips not once but twice, against his.

His eyes widen in surprise and cheeks flush, he wasn’t expecting you to actually play along, and his hands loosen their hold enough for you to push yourself off the bed and rush out of his room.

He surprisingly doesn’t bother you for the rest of the night, but you hear his moans bounce off the bathroom tiles as he showers away his problems, or problem.

And all you can do is laugh and thank the heavens that Taehyung didn’t ruin this final exam for you given his history with ruining final assessments.

You were standing on the state lines of an opportunity and a potentially great love story. You were standing in between him and the idea of chasing a dream. You couldn’t have both. You were standing before a crossroad, stuck between your heart and your future. And theres no where in your near future that would allow you to have both.

“Taehyung,” you pout, taking your shoes off and putting your slippers on. He had invited a couple friends over to watch a movie and from the looks on their faces, no, Taehyung hadn’t told them you lived together.

“Y/N,” Jimin gasps, dropping the bowl of popcorn. “What are you doing here? I thought you were at the library?”

You put your hands on your hips as you watch Taehyung scurry to avoid your eye contact. He still hadn’t told them that you lived together and your patience was wearing thin, you didn’t have a reason to stay so late at the library and Taehyung was making it difficult to lie. Rolling your eyes, you decide its time to tell, why get others to do things when you can get off your ass and do it yourself.

“We live to-

“Taehyung, why do you have so many girlie perfumes in your bathroom?” Ellie yells, interrupting you from the bathroom before walking passed you and slamming her body into the seat beside Taehyung’s. Whether she saw you or not is a mystery, but as you tell them that Taehyung invited you over and they believed you, you don’t miss the way she looks at you: p ointed and accusing.

Sitting on the other end of the couch, you take the opportunity when the others lean forward to stare bullets into his side profile. He must feel it because he turns to you, guilt and shame iron pressed to his face as Ellie tries to cuddle into his arm.

Nearing the end of the film, you roll your eyes at her, rest your head against the pillow and pretend to fall asleep.

“What a shit film,” Jimin snorts. “Hey Tae, I’m going to head off. I’ll wake Y/N up and see if she wants a lift.”

“No don’t!” Taehyung yells a little too quickly, ushering a sleepy Ellie off his arm. “She told me earlier that she’s crashing here on the couch. If you wake her up, I’ll have to deal with little miss grumpy for the rest of the night.”

“True, she can get monstrous sometimes.” Jimin laughs in agreeance. “Have fun with that.”

“You have no idea.” Taehyung whispers through gritted teeth. “I will.”

“Tae, can I stay over?” Ellie asks, her tone sultry and suggestive. You really hated this girl and not because you were jealous but because she seemed like a genuinely annoying person. You hoped that Taehyung would say no and kick her out, but you definitely did not expect his response.

“The couch is already taken.” he deadpans and you nearly snort laugh.

“No like,” she says, suddenly lowering her volume. “In your room.”

“That’s a bit selfish of you don’t you think? Then where would I sleep?”

You bite down on your tongue, afraid that the heaving of your chest from bottled laughter would give away the fact that you were very much awake and very much frustrated that she was still here.

“With me.” she laughs and the silence that suddenly fills the room, fills your body with unease.

“Gross, well that’s my queue to leave.” Jimin musters before literally running out the door. “Peace out fam.”  

“Ellie, no. What happened between us last year was weird and uncomfortable for me. And plus, if you paid any attention you would’ve noticed that I don’t actually like you and that I like the girl asleep on my couch. If there’s anyone sleeping in my room tonight, it’s her. So if you could leave-

“Taehyung,” she interrupts, shrieking in disbelief. “You like her? over me? What for? I mean look at me and I’m such a nice person, like I’m so sweet and shes-”

“Oh my god, leave already.” you interrupt, not wanting to hear another second of her crow-like whining. Shifting on the couch to sit beside Taehyung, she stares at you bewilderedly like you just stole her favourite toy. “You can leave now, unless you want to stand in the corner with a video camera and watch us-

“Fine!” she yells, “Fine, I’ll go. Fucking hell, if you see me in public Kim Taehyung, don’t even say hi. Just watch the finest ass you’ll ever see walk away.” “Why watch a good ass walk away when I can stare at hers making me a cup of tea, really Ellie just leave please.” She rolls her eyes before stomping away and  Taehyung hums contently as you both watch her leave. Turning to face him, he smiles at you before grabbing your cheeks, “Hey you, long time no see.” he whispers, his tone of voice over-dramatically affectionate.

“Hey you …you jerk,” you slap his hand away to grab him but he jumps off the sofa to run away. “When are you going to tell your friends that I live here?”

“When you tell me you like me too, then I will.” he yells, running around the dining room table as you chase him around the house.

No I love you or I like you’s had been exchanged in the year that had become your living situation, in the year that had become the fruitful exploration of your unlabelled relationship with him. As you entered your third year of college, although some part of you loved him and you knew that, the other part of you didn’t want to tell him that. Didn’t want him to know. Didn’t want to ruin it.

“Y/N, I can’t deal anymore. You must be so lonely.” Gabby says, rubbing your hand “comfortingly”.

“Well, I’m not.” you say, frowning into your textbook. “I’m fine, don’t worry about me. I’m happy.”

“Happy enough for this?” she says, pushing her laptop screen to your face. “I know that you wanted to go to Brown, this has your name written all over it girl.”

You sigh. “I’ve already read it but I don’t know.”

“What have you got to lose? You don’t have anything tying you down, it’s not like you have a boyfriend or a job.”

“True, but it’s just that  …It means that I’ll have to move over there and then stay there for what, nearly two years to graduate when I could do it here?” you sigh, running your fingers through your hair. You were getting irritated with her prodding and the constant questions and the constant need to reply. “I’m gonna go look for a newer version of this textbook. I’ll be right back.” you say, grabbing the book as you get up to leave.

Dumping the textbook into a nearby trolley, you hide in the back aisles of the library to simply enjoy the quiet solitude of studiers and readers. Silence was golden and therapeutic and all you needed for atleast a minute or two.

Walking around the aisle, you spot the familiar build of your housemate, hunched over a table reading over music scores. He looked frustrated, understandably so, it’s not everyday you’re forced into a kind-of successful campus punk band. You were jealous of him. That he had something he loved more than you and was actually talented enough to be good at it.

Sneaking up behind him, you snake your arms around his waist and sweetly kiss his cheek. He immediately slumps back into you with a single deep breath, his shoulders slumping into you. You always loved him in ripped skinny jeans, but the comfortable shorts and the grey NYU hoodie he adorned today, made you want to cuddle him and hide your face in the fabric.

“You okay?” you ask, rubbing his belly.

Stroking your hand, he closes his eyes. “I will be. Are you okay?” he asks.

Letting him go, you sit in the vacant seat in front of his and he slumps over his work again. “I will be.” you say.

“Hmmm, touchè.” he smiles before returning his gaze to his papers, his pensive concentration face re-appearing across his gentle features.

“Touche” you whisper, watching the boy you had hardly seen these past couple of weeks hunched over work in earnest. It was nice to see him so passionate about his work and you’re not going to lie and say that it didn’t ignite a desire to be the same; because it did. He totally did.

You had a decision to make and whichever one you chose, love and lust or adventure and life, you knew you would regret it anyway. You would be stuck thinking of what could’ve been or maybe, what should’ve been. You couldn’t have both.

If you didn’t chose life, you knew that your heart would have trouble letting go of the idea. The pain would become so indescribably difficult to handle that it would physically break you and you would break him. But, if you chose him, the captor of your thoughts, the man with the smile that lit a thousand lightbulbs but one, you wouldn’t be as happy and you knew that.

The answer was plainly obvious. It stood in front of you with a cheshire grin and a baritone laugh, but those didn’t belong to Taehyung. Your housemate and platonic bed sharer with a happy morning grin, and an obsession with cuddling and kitten kisses.

No, it wasn’t Taehyung.

Mr Jones yells loudly before slapping a pile of information folders on the table in front of the class. “Alright class, before I excuse you all. I need to mention that we still have spots for the exchange to Brown, in fact all of the seats. It’s the first time a community college has ever partnered up with an elite, so if you all are excited by the prospect of employment in this scarce and scary world, do yourself a favour and sign up before it’s too late. Class dismissed.”

Again, you sit back and watch the class filter out. The neglected folders sat gracefully taunting you, as their tantalising words of hope and adventure called out to you.

This was it.

And fuck it, you were going to do it.

Running your hands down your thighs, you watch Mr. Jones talk to a couple of students inquiring about exam results before slowly walking down the steps towards him. He notices your hesitance to approach and laughs at your shyness as the other students walk away.

“Our resident sleeper Y/N.” he snorts, crossing his arms over his chest. “What do I owe the pleasure?”

You frown at the nickname because you’ve never fallen asleep in his classes, before shaking your head and pushing the insult over your shoulder. You didn’t sleep in his classes, you didn’t even blink in fear of being a target for his relentless questioning, but considering you day dreamed in most of his lectures, you might as well have been.

“Sir, I-I want to-

“You want to sign up for the exchange?” he interrupts. Truth be told, he made you nervous. He was intimidating and his eccentric clothing made you uncomfortable. His satire humour colour co-ordinated with the devil music notes on his tie and the red t-shirt you were pretty sure was on backwards.

“Do I have an actual contender for this project!?” he yells excitedly before rushing over to the folders. Placing a folder into your open arms, he says. “Look, all you need to do is read this folder and if you decide it’s for you. Come back and sign it.”

Looking at the folder, you take a deep breath. You’ve thought about it enough and Fuck it. “Can I sign it now?”

“You want to actually do it?” he gasps, clapping his hands together. “Oh my Aunty Barbara, the dean is not going to believe this one. If you are serious about this Y/N, you can come with me now to her office and we can discuss your options. Since you’re unfortunately the only contender for this project, heaven forbid me for actually asking why my students don’t want employment, we could potentially solidify a scholarship for you.”

Without a single protest, you smile and nod your head in a frantic attempt to communicate your agreeance. He smiles down at you and prods you to follow. “That’s the spirit. Always knew you were a fighter. You’ve made a courageous decision, I commend that.”

You follow him through the busy hallways, hugging the folder close to your chest. Students bow politely to him as they pass, and you smile when you see Taehyung and his group of friends. Taehyung winks at you as he leans against the wall to check you out and you grin back, scuttling behind Mr. Jones.

Mr. Jones opens the deans door and ushers you in, and as you turn nervously to watch him close the door behind you, you start to slowly feel it rise over the rocky terrains in your mind and light all of your lightbulbs.

A passion,

and although the middle of a hurricane can be the safest place to be, you were happy that you were no longer watching things fly by, and amazed how confident you were grabbing the opportunity by its cuff and information folder before it does.

“How was class today? I saw you walking hand-in-hand with Mr. Jones today. You get in trouble or something?” Taehyung whispers against your shoulder.

You were watching a movie, blankets and pillows, chocolate and popcorn. Taehyung was beside you, content and happy with his fair share of the blanket and Mia was sitting on the floor painting her nails. She called it family night, you called it a nuisance.

“No. No I wasn’t in trouble. I just had to talk to him about something,” you say, slapping his thigh. “I’m too boring to get into trouble.”

“You can say that again,” Mia laughs, throwing a piece of popcorn in your hair. You turn to her and frown before watching the creases in her face even out. Placing the nail polish on the coffee table, she pauses the movie and faces you, eager but nervous.

“I have something to tell you guys. I’m moving in with Jin. We’ve decided to settle down.”

“What?” you yell. “What the f-

“Woohooo,” Taehyung giggles, lifting his head off your shoulder. “We can be alone now Y/N. You know what that means? No pants all day, everyday.”

“What about me?” you ask, ignoring Taehyung and frowning at her indecency to tell you sooner. She smiles at you before grabbing your hand, “You’ll be fine. You and me forever baby, just not under the same roof-

“Well that’s just perfect because I also have something to say.” you interrupt, wanted to one up her, suddenly bursting at the seems to tell them both that you were leaving.

“What is it?” Taehyung says, hooking his arm around yours. “Mmm?”

“I’m going to Brown,” you confess,“I got into the exchange programme there and I’m going this summer.”

You feel Taehyung stiffen against you before he pulls you to face him, “What?” he asks, his voice uncharacteristically quiet and gentle.

“I’m going to Brown. I’m leaving Taehyung.”  you say.

“Well that’s okay, you’ll be coming back when the semester finishes. Gosh, you nearly scared me there, I thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant. My testical nearly fell off.” he sighs in relief, relaxing back against you.

You take a deep breath because you know what you’re about to say will hurt him, you know it will break at least one of you and you know that as soon as you say it, everything changes from here on out, and you do it anyway.

“It won’t be months Tae. It will be years.”

And there was nothing he could say to make you stay, he wanted the best for you and the thought made him sad but the best wasn’t him, the best was a state away.

He slowly unhooks his arm from yours and leans back against the couch. Mia sits by your legs tapping your knee, seemingly perplexed but not enough to say anything. She knew that nothing she could say would ever make you change your mind.

And as the room drowns in an uncomfortable silence, the red wires in your heart become untangled and focused on the direction you were heading, but they just weren’t towards him and that was okay.  

{Shamelessly} Taehyung’s Point of View Conclusion

Pacing back in forth in the empty lecture theatre, I bite my bottom lip. Namjoon and I didn’t tell anyone what we were doing or where we were, in fear that we might just not be as good as we think we are. That we might not get in. After seeing you off, suitcase and all, and accepting that you were gone, my game plan was set in motion; we were going to get signed.

It hasn’t been the first time an entertainment company has decided to roll into my college looking for trainees, but it’s been the only one interesting enough to audition for, and for the first time in along time, I felt nervous for my future.

I worked hard for this though, endless nights leaked into annoying mornings at the library writing and memorizing music. I deserve this.

“The audition results should be up by now right? Where the fuck is Namjoon?”

Sitting in a seat, I sprawl my arm across the desk and look towards the sunlight peaking through the dark clouds. Snow had collected on the windows and the turbulent weather was beginning to drown the aisles of desks in an eerie darkness.

The room was frosty cold, but the giant beige lapel coat around me and the black scarf that smelt like her, kept my body warm.

I wonder if she’s warm.

I think about her too much to consider it normal. She was always there, her little smiles and her big frowns, the way she curled herself against my chest and the way she runs her fingers through my hair when she thinks I’m asleep.

But she’s gone now and I need to stop torturing myself.

She was who I imagined singing to in that audition room. The intimidating group of judges sitting in the audience were replaced by her radiant supportive smile as I sang my feelings out.  

She made my home something I wanted to come back to.

And I didn’t want to go home anymore.

“Taehyung!” Namjoon yells, barreling through the doors. He didn’t need to say it, his smile said it all. “WE MADE IT!” he screams, pulling you into a hug. “We both made it!”

“I need to call my mum, she’s going to freak out!” he laughs, pulling away. “Who you going to call first?” he asks as he scrolls through his phone.

Pulling out my phone, I scroll through my list of contacts to find yours, but my finger hovers over the call button as I stare at your contact ID a second too long and I don’t.

I had forgotten to change your contact picture and it was a picture of you curled up in blankets sitting by the fireplace reading a book. If you knew I took that picture, you’d probably kill me. It was the little things like this that I loved so much. I wanted to keep these moments to myself because the thought of Jimin or anyone else ever seeing the side of you that I admired so much, made me jealous and made me feel so possessive that I didn’t tell anyone about you or that I nearly didn’t attend this audition with Namjoon because I knew that it meant I would have to leave you one day.

But you left me first and that’s okay.

I liked a girl who was always looking in the other direction, like a sunflower chasing the sun. I tried to believe that she wasn’t looking at me because she was out of my league, I tried I did, but my heart knew that it wasn’t because I’m not the light she wants, it’s because I’m not the light she needs.

And more importantly, I suppose it’s because we just weren’t meant to be together, maybe in the future sure, but now? no. The timing was horrible, so unequivocally horrible, but I hold hope that one day if we meet as different people I will have the courage to tell her how I really feel and then maybe,

just maybe, I’ll be the sun that she wants and I will be the sun that she needs.  

Epilogue

“Y/N, it was lovely catching up with you again. You’ve blossomed into such a lovely woman!” Jimin says, loosening his suit tie. Jimin was a corporate soldier of an entertainment company now and had spent the afternoon filling you in on the happenings around town since you moved away. You admittedly struggled to keep his close friendship, but his friendship you kept nonetheless. You were back for good and Jimin was happy to welcome you back so long as you paid for lunch. “Oh yeah, have you seen Taehyung lately? I heard he’s back around too.”

You smile.

“Not yet.” you say, lifting your wrist to check the time. “Soon though.”

“You know, we all knew you two were a thing in college. Just didn’t think it would’ve ended up the way that it did but I’m proud you two followed your dreams. I can’t wait to meet your boyfriend though, he sounds like a catch.”

You laugh.

“Thanks Jimin, it means a lot to hear that from you.” you say, watching him walk backwards towards his car. “My boyfriend isn’t that much of a catch, he’s very annoying and not as cool as you.”

“You’re probably right! Hey we need to get together for like a college reunion or something. Minus Mia and Jin of course, I can’t get over how fat your sister is. How do twins…” he gestures towards your stomach. “Fit in there?”

“How does a brain…” Pointing up to his head you joke. “Fit in there?”

He laughs loudly before smacking your hand away. “It’s been five years and you’re still so cold to me. Aish, somethings never change.”  

“Maybe you’re right but my heart has definitely turned over, I’m just really glad I left, but I’m back now so expect my relentless insults. It’s the only way I can communicate my love for you in a way that won’t upset my boyfriend.”

“That’s fine with me Y/N. I’ll text you later.” he says, smiling his million dollar smile.

“You’re always welcome in my home Jimin, so if you ever need a place to crash, you know my number.” is all you say before he waves goodbye excitingly with his briefcase and getting into his company car and driving away. You watch the red lights of his car fade into the distance.

Everything felt right.

Every light bulb was on.

Everything was where it was supposed to be.

Punching in your apartment code, you take off your heels and put on your slippers. “Hmmm, what’s the amazing smell hun?” you ask, putting your handbag on the vanity by the door.

He runs around the kitchen island with a cheshire grin and a baritone laugh. The sweet sound of happiness and coming home to it made your heart sing, made your heart race and made your heart ..flip because that’s not a nice smell to come home to no matter how hard he tried to woo you.

“I burnt the potatoes, but I ordered pizza, extra pineapple on yours too, so we should be fine for dinner.” he smiles, wrapping his arms around your waist to welcome you home.

“Oh thank god.” You smile, wrapping your arms around his neck. Leaning on your tippy toes, you give him a quick kiss on the lips before muttering, “But did you turn the potatoes off?”

He looks down at you with a vacant expression and you look up at him expectantly. Surely he remembered to turn them off, surely. The smoke alarms go off before he gets to explain that no, he completely forgot and just ordered pizza instead.

You laugh again before swatting him away to turn the smoke alarm and stove top off. Opening the lounge windows to let smoke out, you admire the sun as it descends behind the hills, nothing was more beautiful.

“Y/N.” he whines standing behind you. “What are you looking at?”

Turning to face him, you lean against the window sill and grin. You lied, nothing was more beautiful than him. “Nothing, just the sunset.”

He stands closer and kisses your forehead before turning you to face the sunset again, “Of course you were, my sunflower girl.”

You loved him. You loved Kim Taehyung.

So the idea of this fic spawned from the idea that sunflowers chase the sun -obviously. I liked the idea that sunflowers grow inside of us, we all have sunflower hearts; ambitious and greedy, and although this was a fluff series, I didn’t want Y/N to end up with Taehyung. Mainly because she worked so hard and ending up settling with second best, I didn’t want that for her, I wanted her to become comfortable with the idea that sometimes you need to feel like shit, sometimes things are supposed to fall through, sometimes we are supposed to love the people we do just to become the people we are destined to be or go. And more importantly, that there is more to life than a relationship. Happiness comes from you first before you can find it in other people, so maybe in another life or in the future, they will find happiness in each other as well.

[roseok]

Touch me | (M)

Kim Namjoon | College AU | Frat | Smut | Fluff | Angst | Sassy | Psychology Students | References to behavioural psychology | Alcohol | Y/N is grossly relatable | Namjoon is cluttered | 

COUNT—9, 152 words ↳ A/N: This was my first smut, written in early 2016. Proud of myself for this one tbh. 

❝You’re stressed and recovering from the pressure of exams when your friends dare you to sleep with awkward frat-boy Namjoon. They say he’s a dom in the sheets but all you see is a cluttered mess in the streets.❞

Namjoon is in your psychology class and he sits in the very middle of the lecture theatre, three seats left of yours. Sometimes you’d look up, prompt by a prickly sensation down your neck to catch the man, horn-rimmed glasses and chestnut disheveled hair staring straight at you, deep in thought.

He was strange but the rumors about him were even stranger: Kim Namjoon was a sex god, a freak with his tongue and a total dom in the sheets.

Now match that rumor up with what you saw last month, a couple days before midterms.  

He was walking up the steps towards the library you were coming out of. Wearing timberlands, a yellow t-shirt and denim overalls, you watch him trip over his shoes trying to keep up with his friends, and as you walk past him with your hoodie up and headphones in, his books tumble out from his arms faster than his hands could weave through the air to catch them.

How embarrassing.

Namjoon looks around before picking his books up. He was aware of his image, and how girls fawned over the confidence he tried so hard to emanate, if anyone saw him looking like this right now, the image he worked so hard to create would crumble. And Namjoon felt like he was crumbling.

You see his friends knew that he was only ever cluttered like this when he was frustrated and in need of a release of the sexual kind. He just hoped that his roommates at the frat were kind about his long showers and weren’t suspicious of how particularly clean the shower box was after he used it. Because Namjoon doesn’t do so well holding out anymore, his body and its surging hormones were like tidal waves upon waves upon waves, and the solution was clear as day to everybody else but not to him.  

But to you, Namjoon always looked cluttered.

So naturally, the rumors that portrayed him in a different kind of light only made you want to dim the lights on the rumor itself. Kim Namjoon was definitely a freak but not one in the sheets.

“What the fu-,” he complains, holding up the ripped spine of his psychology textbook, “Why do I ruin everything?” he growls, tucking the book under his arm and running his free hand through his hair.

Eager to join the loud motley crew in the library to begin the tireless exam cram, he awkwardly attempts to run up the short steps again but his big timberlands trip him up and he falls to the steps and this time you can’t help but laugh when you hear a loud thud and turn around to see him on the ground again.

“Why is he so clumsy,” you mutter, shaking your head.

Namjoon whirls around with pink cheeks and innocent doe eyes, and before he has enough time to be embarrassed about it, you’ve walked away embarrassed for him.

Now looking back to a week ago when your exam results were being processed and published online. You were waiting nervously behind a computer in the library for your result, as did every other psychology student. The computer beside yours had been empty when you sat down and without the handy habit of flicking your nails away as you chewed them off riddled with nerves and anxiety, you would’ve never noticed that Namjoon was now occupying it and watching you curiously.

Now it was your turn to be embarrassed.

Your computer pings with the loud notification of your result and your heart ignores the man beside you and instead ricochets against your ribcage. You stare at the number next to your name in disbelief, you weren’t particularly intelligent but this was definitely by far your best mark.

Fuck yes, suck on that world. I can Korean drama and study, I am the epitome of talent right here.

You look over to Namjoon suddenly feeling cocky. He sat hunched over, his face cradled by his palm, his lips tucked between his teeth and his eyes void of any certain expression as he stared at the numbers next to his name.

Did he do bad? Is that what that face means? Oh my god, this is too good.

Squinting, you lean over and curiously read his result and your jaw immediately falls to the floor.

What the absolutely donkey balls? How does he always beat me?

You realise that you’re leaning a little too closely over his shoulder when you can feel his breath gently caress your cheek and when you turn even the slightest in his direction, his brown eyes twinkle at you. You pretend to sneeze as you pull back, dabbing in a way, but not even that couldn’t hide the blossoms of pink across your cheeks.

“What are you doing? How did ya go?” he laughs, fumbling with the rings on his fingers as he stares at the glow of pink on your cheeks.

“Ah, g-great.” you say, “Not as great as you though.”

He smiles. “Second to me again?”

You clench your jaw before smiling back at him. “Well, not everyone can be as smart as you.”

“If you need any extra tutoring, I can always help you.” He mutters, rubbing the back of his head. “I mean, only if you want to of course.”

You laugh awkwardly as you grab your bag. “I don’t need tutoring; I just need you to either drop out of college and pursue something else, or to maybe stop beating me so I can stop being the number 2.”

He laughs at your shitty insinuation as you log off your computer and rise out of your seat. “But I’ll keep your offer in mind.” You say, patting his shoulder. “Nice chatting to you Namsoon.”

“My name is Namjoon.” He frowns.

You laugh as you walk away. “Alright Namsoon.”  

–

“Fuck off,” You laugh, nestling back into your blankets. “I’m not going.”

“You’re coming to Namjoon’s party, whether you like it or not.”

“Are you kidding me?”

You stare incredulously at your two insanely beautiful friends hovering over you, as you point to your paused Korean drama.

Do they not see how comfortable I am right now?

“Come on Y/N, you have to come tonight, please? Its supposed to be the biggest party of the year!” Dahye begs swaying her shoulders.

“Y/N, you’ve been studying all week! Come on, please. Just for this once.” Jisoo begs, fluttering her lashes and pouting her pink stained lips. Unlike you, your friends were close with Namjoon’s friends. Brought together by the mutual interest in music and house parties, alcohol and last minute cramming. You, however, chose to study, you can party later.

“You guys can have fun without me, I don’t really know Namjoon that well anyways. And it’s not like he’s going to notice whether I am there or not.”

Staring at each other, Jisoon sighs. “Don’t you miss it?”

Sitting on the edge of your bed, she fans her freshly manicured fingers on your duvet before adding, “I mean, come on. You used to be such a firecracker in freshmen year. Don’t you miss getting laid?”

“W-what?” you gape, folding your arms over your chest. “I don’t remember most of freshmen year okay, and where is this coming from?”

“You haven’t gotten laid since your break-up with that asshole Jimin.” Dahye says and you gape at both of them for being so ridiculous. “Come on, he’s moved on! You need to as well!”

“I have moved on!” you cry unconvincingly. “I thought we agreed not to mention he who shall not be named?”

Jisoo smirks as she crosses her arms over her chest. “It’s just a point. We both know you miss it.”

“What? No.” You weren’t sure what the point of this conversation or even disagreeing with them was because to some degree, they were right and touching yourself just didn’t relieve the tension anymore. Not to mention, you got too wild trying to figure out how to use a cock ring you won on pub trivia night on yourself that you broke the damn thing and the only sex toy you could afford was a courgette, and no way, fuck that.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Both of you, please, just leave me alone. I’m perfectly fine flicking the bean to James Dean okay. I don’t need men, they all suck.”

“Y/N.” Dahye smirks. “As your bestfriend, I cant let you isolate yourself anymore. When was the last time you had fun or you know got the girls out and enjoyed the world of the living?”

“You know what, fuck it, lets have a bet.” she adds for good measure.

“Oh hell nah girl. I’m not doing it. Nope. Remember last time I lost one of your bets? I had to run around campus naked.” You shudder at the memory. Frost covered concrete, hard nipples for days and the poor freshmen who witnessed your drunken havoc with the pack of hyenas in tow. Jisoo covers her mouth at the memory before erupting in laughter.

“Fine. No bet, I dare you to sleep with Kim Namjoon.”

“What? Why him? I barely know him!”

“See? I told you she wouldn’t do it.” Jisoo says looking at the other girl. “I guess Y/N is just too much of a prude.”

“I-I’m not a prude.” You yell, ripping the covers off your legs and standing up. ���I’m just not interested.”

Jisoo pokes your chest with her finger. “Prove it then! I dare you to sleep with Namjoon tonight at the party.”

Flicking her finger away, you close your eyes in agitation. You’ve never had a one night stand before and the idea of doing it with Namjoon, one of the most popular guys on campus, made you tremble. The thought was absolutely sinful but not completely disgusting.

At least in this way, you’d make him cum first and then you’d finally get to beat him at something.

“Fine. You are both bitches and I hate you both. I’ll do it.” you say languidly. Jisoo and Dahye stare at you for awhile as if stunned by your answer, as if stunned by your sudden complacency. They look at each other with satisfaction before turning to you with utter excitement.

“Aha! That’s our girl.”

“We want this done right so we’ll be back.” They sing, leaving your bedroom. “You better shave those legs of yours!”

“Kim Namjoon doesn’t deserve a thigh shave, I am way to lazy for that.” You shout. “Get out of here already.”  

Laying back under the covers of your bed, you watch the hands on the clock tick agonizingly slowly. The party doesn’t start for another 3 hours and as the clock ticks closer and closer to that destined time, your heart beats even faster.

“You need a gameplan Y/N,” you plan, groaning into your pillows. “Get him begging on his knees, no wait, get him alone and horny. Ah fuck, how am I going to do that? I could do a wet t-shirt, hard nipples then alone time.” you blink at your poor attempt to plan and then you erupt with laughter as if you ever could get him to sleep with you.

You don’t know anything about Namjoon enough to confidently walk up to him and say hi, but maybe you don’t need to because when Jisoo and Dahye barge back in, without even knocking an hour later holding up a skin tight black dress, you smirk with ease.

I might just die tonight, this dress is my game plan and my grave plot.

“Girl how are you still so relaxed right now? Come on, I have to make you look flawless tonight to get the boy under you… or on top of you. That’s up to you.” Dahye laughs and the suggestion has you staring at her in disgust.

“Too soon?” she says and you nod. “Sorry.”

Jisoo holds up the dress and the black stilettos, “Namjoon likes a girl in all black.” she stammers, shimming the coat hanger. “And he will absolutely cream his pants on sight when he sees you in this gorgeous piece.”

Ripping the covers of your bed, she pulls you up.“We have three hours to dress you up like a pretty corndog ..Y/N… why is their ketchup stains on your shirt?”

You flashback to the pie you just ate and laugh. “No particular reason. Okay, lets do this.”

Layers upon layers of makeup later, heels and a skin tight little black dress, you were ready. You stood in front of your mirror perplexed. You couldn’t recognize the woman staring back, she was beautiful and she looked confident and the dress… the dress felt like a mask etched onto your skin ..it was perfect. You didn’t look like a corndog or feel like one, you felt hella sexy.

Running your fingers down your sides, your frown turns into a grin. “He won’t know what hit him.”

You’re pulled out of your room and down the street towards the frat house before your brain can tell you that this is a stupid idea because at this very moment, you haven’t got butterflies, you’ve got the entire fricken zoo fluttering in your stomach. Not to mention that you’ve grossly underestimated the height of these heels and they hurt. They hurt alot.

Standing beside the remnants of their letterbox, you watch the three story house throb to the beat, before slowly making the decision to approach. Of course Namjoon was a frat boy, of bloody course.

Self-defence plan Y/N. Do not get drunk in this dress and if you need a weapon, your shoes are sharp enough to stab. Remember left hook and jab to the hairy peaches. You got this.

“No turning back now Y/N,” Jisoo smiles, walking backwards to face you. “I hear he likes being scratched, let me know how that goes.”

“If you want to know, you can always go and fuck him yourself Jisoo.” you deadpan and she stares at you vacantly before frowning at you.

“No more fucking cursing,” she yells, pushing you towards the door. “Go and find out for me. You are my star, my moon and my ass.”

“Yes mum.” you laugh, opening the door and then suddenly, you’re being lurched forward into the magnetic pull of the party. Lights were flashing, loud music thumping, and the air was so dense with hormones that you feel it within your bones, within your hips, prompting them to move to the sway of the beat.

Swaying to the music, your eyes oddly connect with Namjoon’s from across the room and that’s when you realise, you and him are the only ones in black and he really might just cream his pants with the way he’s looking at you right now.

He looked amazing. With a navy floral jacket, black V-neck and leather pants with a belt you could tie him up with …if he’s into that of course. He takes a swig from his glass, staring at you through languid lids, before his lips shift into a smirk.

Why do I want to punch him already?

You watch Jin raise his hand to cover his mouth as he whispers something into Namjoon’s ear and you don’t miss how they all look up at you before disappearing into a bedroom.

Nope, nothing suspicious at all with that. None at all.

“Here.” Dahye says, shoving a red cup in your hands as she sways beside you.

“Ease up.” She adds and you stare at the mysterious liquid before realizing that maybe she’s right. There is no way that you’re gonna go and talk to Namjoon Namsoon when you’re so bone dry sober. So you gulp down the liquid confidence that tastes somewhat like diluted beer. You needed more than the crude taste of beer to feel the buzz, but you didn’t want to get drunk enough to get a hangover or drunk enough to actually like Namsoon.

Leaving Dahye and Jisoo swaying to the music, you walk over to the makeshift bar to rake your eyes over the impressive collection of alcohol that sat gracefully taunting you upon the shelves you couldn’t reach.

Until your eyes land on a shiny bottle of absolute vodka within your reach, and as your nimble fingers caress the shaft of the bottle, you gasp at the percent before you decide “ah screw it” let tonight be filled with regret and thus, you pour a shot worth into your red cup before slamming the barrel back onto the bar top.

“This is for the potential STI’s I will get tonight.” you cheers to yourself.

You hated the taste of vodka the most, but it was vodka that made you feel nothing the fastest. So, you drink up, letting the silky ribbon of pure fire burn down your throat to flush your cheeks and loosen your bones. You didn’t want to get drunk tonight but the more you thought about approaching him, the more your fingers searched for bottles of anything on the bar. You were scared of rejection, and you were scared of the consequences of losing this dare.

“Wow, just going right in aye?” a voice yells over your shoulder. “I didn’t think you’d come.”  

Leaning against the bar beside you, Namjoon smiles a dimpled grin and you’re not sure if it’s the alcohol but your cheeks heaten at his proximity. It must be the vodka because you suddenly have the uncharacteristic confidence to lean closer, and say, “Well I did. Nice party you got here.”

His dimples reappear with his famous sunshine grin before he too grabs the bottle of vodka beside you, “You want another shot?”

“Only if you take one with me” maybe getting him drunk would make this entire thing an easier process, get in and get out, never do it again.

He shuffles his timberlands against the wooden floorboards, kicking away confetti before staring at you with warm brown eyes. His cheeks are dusted with blossoms of pink and he’s acting shyer than you thought he could ever be; it was almost endearing.

A tingle of prickly heat slithers down your neck, and as you turn to find the source of eyes penetrating the back of your head, you notice a group of girls staring at you with absolute disgust. You raise your cup in their direction and smile, completely satisfied with their livid expressions.

Ah, I was wondering where his fan club were.

“Fair enough.” He says, and your attention shifts to the violet texture of his voice as he leans closer.

Grabbing a red cup, he smiles cheekily as his fingers stroke over your fingers caging in the poison. His eyes don’t leave yours until he’s grabbed the bottle completely and pouring a generous amount of alcohol into his cup and then into yours.

“Cheers.”

You bump your cup against his and before your brain can tell you to slow down, you’re tilting your head back and throwing the vodka down your throat to quench the fire it started in the first place.

Namjoon watches you in amusement as you clench your eyes closed and curl your fingers into fists against the bar fighting back the silky fire threatening to come back up.

Slapping your cheeks, you watch him throw back his shot at an equally frightening pace. “Oh god.” you stammer, feeling the vodka sit uncomfortably atop of the beer you had earlier.

“You okay?” Namjoon laughs, and you remain passive as you turn to face him. “You should probably slow down.”  

“Do you even know me Namsoon?” you stutter, raising an eyebrow at him. You’re feeling too much of the buzz you tried to only get a lick of and you can’t believe you’re this weak from barely four shots of vodka.

“It’s Namjoon.” He half smiles, “Of course I know you Y/N.”

You watch his plump lips purse as he says your name with softness you aren’t used to hearing, especially from him. The tendrils of intoxication pull barbed wire around your heart because you can feel sunshine leak from his smile and you can taste honey when he says your name, and because you’re surprised he actually knows your name. Fuck I think I’m drunk.

“Second place in every test.” He adds and the happiness you felt beginning to grow, dissipates almost immediately.

Nope, definitely still sober

You hated being second and you hated him for beating you without the premise of effort. Irritated, you grab the shaft of the vodka again and pour yourself another shot.

“Woah easy there tiger.” Namjoon says, shuffling closer to your side. He watches you press your strawberry pink lips to the cup as if it were in slow motion and he suddenly feels the burgeoning desire of need, want and lust. Because he wants so fervently to finally kiss your lips, and as you suckle back the alcohol he steps back again because wow, he thinks you look absolutely beautiful in that dress. Because he’s never seen the skin of your shoulders, the impression of your collarbones or the swell of breasts he didn’t think you’d have under your usual NYU jumper.

You don’t look like the usual jumper and jeans Y/N from psychology that he had grown fond of from afar. He thought you were cute and beside the effortless A grade he managed to maintain, no amount of effort could get you to notice him; you just weren’t that interested.

He watched closely as you finished your drink. He watched even closer when vodka dribbled out from the sides of your cup, to drip down your chin, your neck and into your cleavage, almost as if on purpose.

It was oddly erotic and Namjoon could feel a subtle strain in his pants when he imagined the mewls that would come out of you if he licked you clean. If he pushed you against the bar right now and fucked you so hard out of that little black dress and into oblivion, because at least then you wouldn’t ignore him. Because at least then you’d remember his name.

You slam the cup against the bar table and wipe your mouth from runaway vodka. You turn to face Namjoon and when you do, you don’t miss the way he covers his jeans suddenly or the way his eyes give away the pull of desire he felt, or more so, that you knew he felt.

Flicking your hair over your shoulder, your rub the back of your neck and watch his adams apple bob nervously from the corner of your eye.

“Namsoon, do you… do you want to get out of here?”

“I’m the host remember? I can’t just leave.” he laughs lowly and yeah that makes sense. “Do you want to find an empty room and just chill instead?”

You hesitate with your response. This is almost too easy. This shouldn’t be so easy. Why is this easy? Why doesn’t this feel right?

“Sure.” you nod, still hesitant.

Namjoon looks at you in surprise before the corners of his mouth tremble into a ghost of smile, he was expecting this to be more of a challenge, but you were a branch in the wind; easy to sway.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” you ask, eying him suspiciously.

“No reason. Let’s go then.” He says, grabbing onto your wrist and gently pulling you up to the second floor. You’re so little in comparison to the mass throbbing of the crowd, but Namjoon’s warm hand envelopes yours reassuringly before you can worry about being swallowed up by it.

You let yourself get pulled up the staircase and down the hallway. You’re passing bedrooms upon bedrooms, bathrooms and more stairs when Namjoon lets go of your hand and leans on the doorframe of an empty bedroom.

“Ladies first.” he says, ushering you into the dark room.

Closing the door behind him, the room seeps into a pitch black before he turns on the lanterns that sit on top of the bookshelves that stand against the dark blue wallpaper. You were impressed, each shelf was packed with books, figurines, cds and more books. The room was vastly different from the others and you weren’t sure if you were in the frat building at all anymore, what frat house has a library?

You look around in a daze, skimming your fingertips on spines of old books, recognising authors and textbooks, before your fingers freeze on the spine of a novel written by B.F. Skinner.

“You know, I was going to ask who’s room this was, but then I saw Skinner and didn’t need to, but just to clarify, we are in your bedroom right?”

He laughs. “We are indeed. I don’t usually let people come in here”

He stands against the door frame, watching your curious mind tick. He can tell you’re not used to wearing heels, because every now and then you limp as if your feet are blistered, he wants to give you a pair of his slippers but he decides against it. Your ass just looks too fantastic to let that happen any time soon.

He watches you swipe your tongue over your bottom lip before you finally break the silence that had suddenly festered in the large expanse of his bedroom. You turn back, doe eyed and seemingly sober. “You know, if freedom is a requisite for human happiness, then all that’s necessary is to provide the illusion of freedom.”

He bites his bottom lip before nodding, he wasn’t a big fan of Skinner but he knew his work enough to recognise the quote and was surprised that you did too.

He smirks at you as he uncrosses his arms and opens the door. “This is me making the illusion you have freedom, but also debunking that and letting you know that you do and you can leave whenever you want. Especially because I have to be honest or this won’t feel right, Y/N, I was dared to sleep with you and I think you might’ve been dared too.”

The sensual timbre of his voice, husky and low, sent a course of shivers down your spine, but when he adds, “But I really really hope you stay despite that.” You feel the shivers shift into currents of a stronger type of electricity that bypass your fluttering heart and run straight to your core.

Unfolding your arms, you say. “Well, thanks for being honest with me. I’m a little shocked that my friends would stoop so low but I honestly don’t even care.” Rubbing your arms up and down, you pace around.

Your heels clicked against the carpet as Namjoon waits in silence for your answer. “I’m already in here, so I might as well see if the rumors are true.”

“Rumors? What rumors?”

You laugh, suddenly embarrassed. “They say that you’re a freak with your tongue and a dom in the sheets.”

“Well,” he says, suddenly looking at you with the most sexy kind of fervency. “I hope the rumors about you are true too.”

“What?”

“They say that you have this thing for pulling hair and being in control,” he smiles wickedly as he watches you blush. “From that reaction, I guess it’s true. I can’t wait to find out.”

His voice felt like a physical caress and as he stares back with an almost predatory gleam, you stare back like a deer caught in headlights. You could be naked and you’d never know the difference because he was undressing you with feral onyx eyes and you were absolutely okay with that.

“Well then I guess you should close the door.” you muster. “I don’t plan on leaving until I’m done with you Kim Namjoon.”

Kicking the door closed, the sudden shift in tension makes your heart strangely skip a beat before he walks over to you.

“You finally got my name right.”

Turning around, you peer out the window. “Don’t flatter yourself, I thought I ought to be polite this time.”

He laughs as he shifts behind you. “I like the way you say my name.”

His chest is so close to your back that you can feel the heat hover off his body, that you can smell the subtle hints of fresh rain and lavender. You feel nervous, and stripped bare of your mask; you didn’t think this far ahead.

You can see him in the reflection, he’s hesitant, he’s unsure. His hands are hovering an inch away from your waist and he looks perplexed, cautious. His lips are pursed and his eyebrows are furrowed. You definitely didn’t think this far ahead.

“Namjoon,” you whisper and you watch his eyes connect with yours in the reflection. You offer him the smallest of smiles. “You can touch me.”

You watch in the reflection as he slowly runs his slender calloused fingers over the soft material of your dress, to wrap around your waist. Resting his chin in the junction between your head and your neck, he whispers into your ear. “You want this right? You want me right?”

You lean into him with a small smile on your face. “Weirdly I do.” you whisper back and Namjoon smiles against your skin, earnest and excited, before pressing a tender kiss to the skin behind your ear.

“Good because I want you too.” he says, holding you closer to his chest.

Namjoon starts pressing more kisses down your neck and when you crane your neck at the tantalising desire to feel more of his tongue, his kisses start turning vigorous until he’s pressing open mouthed kisses and rolling his tongue on your jugular.

You urge yourself to move away, to push him away, to assert your dominance so you could at least come out of here unaffected, but there was no way you would be walking out of here unaffected when from the point of honesty, it decided to be a desire on its own. And any resistance you had before, starts to crumble as you start to feel the mewl of a moan rip through your lips.

“Nam …joon,” you moan weakly and he immediately stops suckling on your neck to graze his supple lips to your ear.

“Baby,” he growls into your ear with hot breath that promised a night of sinful secrecy. “If you taste so good up here, I wonder what you’ll taste like down there.”

You can feel the crackling of the carefully crafted electricity in the air with your delayed response. “Wait wait, s-slow down.”

Pulling away, Namjoon flushes a soft pink as he gapes at you. Sure, you seemed confident before but now, now you were a little unsure of yourself and Namjoon could see right through you.  

You watch him slump against a bookshelf in front of you, arms crossed over his chest and with a familiar glazed over expression. The rustling of tree branches in the wind were casting shadows on the floor that separated you, on the silence that stirred between you, on the room no longer sizzling with questions but with the crackles of electricity.

He’s staring at you with chestnut eyes and you’re staring back as the silence sinks into your bones, until the silence begins to cool down the hot nerves under the skin where his tongue had just been.

Namjoon’s skin resembled soft caramel against the orange glow of the streetlights and you suddenly crave the taste of his sugar. You felt the surging hormones shut down the part of your brain that told you this meant nothing, that this was just a bit of fun but as he stands there against the bookshelf vacant of emotions, void of any tell tale signs of confusion, you feel a magnetising pull towards him.

You’ve never felt something like this before and you should feel alarmed by that, but you aren’t. He’s already fucked your heart up and you haven’t even noticed.

The rustling tree branches and the loud music from below had ebbed down to the sound of your heart racing as fast as a gunshot. Step by step, you cross the distance, stepping over shadows and streaks of street lighting, to stand cautiously in front of him. He tilts his head as to observe you, as to wait for your move, but you drag your tongue over your bottom lip and watch as his eyes follow the muscle.

Stepping closer, you drag your finger up his abdomen to rest over his sternum and he tightens his jaw at the sudden movement. “What are you doing to me?” he finally asks, as if in agony.

You raise your head to peer at the chocolate in his eyes seemingly melting under your sweltering touch. “Whatever I want.”

Raising his hand, he strokes your hair behind your ear with his fingertips, but when his fingers touch your skin, ripples of electricity whistle through you again and the static he feels, zaps his hand back.

This was too intimate.

Letting his hand fall, he stares at you with wild curiosity as he presses a finger on his mouth and under his chin. He stares at you like your his greatest puzzle, and as his eyebrows cress trying to figure you out, you lean forward to kiss the finger covering his lips.

His eyes flutter closed as he slowly drops his finger away from his lips, to wrap his arm around your waist and pull you tightly against his chest.

His lips brush yours at first and then he smiles against your mouth and you swear the entire world has fallen apart when he rests his other hand below your ear. There’s a lick of space between you when you finally feel his heart stammering like a jackhammer against your chest.

You pull apart from his mouth to gaze at the softness of his skin. His eyelids were closed and the fine silk of his eyelashes sat on the bags under his eyes, and he was panting from just a graze of lips.

“Y/N.” he whispers, leaning his forehead on yours. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that again.”

You smile before you slam your lips against his, and if there is anything you can say that would describe the way his lips feel, it’s that they feel like everything and nothing. Sweet but sour. Cold but hot.

And that you want to feel less with more. With more of him.

Pressing your tongue to the seam of his lips, you feel his hands tighten around you before he opens his mouth, eagerly accepting the taste of vodka on your tongue. This kiss was messy, but the taste of vodka, beer and strawberries intermingled so well, you could feel the desire begin to build at the bottom of your stomach.

Rubbing your palms up his chest, you wrap your arms around his thick neck to tangle your fingers in his hair. You press your breasts against his chest aching to feel the skin of his broad chest, and he welcomes the closeness fervently.

He moans against your mouth and your brain fumbles across broken memories trapped between a haze of alcohol and plumes of tobacco smoke, but there he was, clear as day. You knew that this situation was familiar but you couldn’t place it with a memory you could pull out of the cobwebs in your brain, until he moans again and then you finally remember.

Freshmen year: That kiss was all teeth and no tongue, passion trapped behind the bars of inexperience, romance drunk on alcohol. After grinding on the hardness of his pants in the middle of the dance floor, you knew what you were doing, and when you turned around to feign innocence with a smile, his confidence immediately faltered at the sheer radiance of it.

Staring at your lips, his ears perk up at the giggle that escapes your pretty mouth, he can’t believe how insanely perfect you are and you can’t believe how lucky you got with someone as good-looking as him. You watch the sunshine melt out of his eyes before you grab the collar of his shirt and slam your lips against his.

You were never added to his list of one night stands that night because after shamelessly making out on the dancefloor, your friends rip you out of his arms and he doesn’t see you again until psychology orientation day a year later, but you were so consumed by everything Park Jimin that don’t remember and neither does he.

Grabbing fistfulls of hair, you yank his face away from yours. You were jostled by the memory, but even more jostled at how better he got at kissing and that the intoxication you felt from his tongue was better than any alcohol you could’ve ever drunken yourself.

Namjoon stares at you with heavy lidded eyes and a fucked out expression that makes you want to rip his clothes off and fuck him right there against the spines of C.S. Lewis and B.F. Skinner.

His hands rest on the base of your spine, before he fans his hand down to cup your ass. “I like this dress on you baby, but I prefer you in jumpers,” he growls, snaking his hand down your thigh and dragging it up to his hips, pulling your clothed core closer to the bulge in his pants.

Dropping his head on your shoulder, he begins the ruthless onslaught of his tongue across your collarbone and over every inch of your neck. Everytime he suckles a little too longer, you roll your hips against his for the friction you felt desperate for.

His mouth was short circuiting your brain and you knew that at this rate you were truly a goner; you were going to cum first. Tangling your fingers in his hair, you let out the most delicious set of moans he has ever heard. Rolling his tongue over your skin, you feel the wetness grow between your thighs and oh god at this rate, you’d let him peaches and cream you all night. You roll your hips again over the tent in his pants and he groans at the feeling, holding you tighter.  

Lifting his lips off the massacre of blood vessels on your soft skin, he juts forward to kiss your lips but you pull your head away.

You were panting and close, but you didn’t want him to know that.

You whisper into the shell of his ear after catching your breath, trying to buy yourself time. “So, tell me,” the vibration of your voice sends a current of electricity down Namjoon’s spine and straight to the tip of his cock. “What do you want me to do to you?”

Namjoon’s heart is a fucking mess, his blood is flowing to only one area of his body and if he doesn’t have some form of relief soon, he thinks he might combust.

He turns his cheek and your lips graze against his skin when he decides enough is enough, he wasn’t going to let you play with him anymore. Picking you up off the ground, he walks you to the bed before throwing you on top of the covers.

You land on your back and before you can protest, he’s crawling over you taking your shoes off and placing open mouth kisses up your legs, up your thighs and before he can even think of kissing over your underwear, you grab the sides of his face and pull him to your face in a passionate kiss. You wrap your arms around his thick neck in a greedy feat to feel more and more of him against you. You were feeling selfish and needy and man, if you don’t fuck him right now, you were going to explode with cherry blossoms and love hearts and everything gooey and disastrous.

“Namjoon,” you pant, breaking away from the kiss. He peers at you with heavy lids and a sloppy grin. “I need you.”

“I know baby,” he says, pulling away from you to sit up.

“What are you doing?” you ask, sitting up and grabbing his arm as it hovers near his dresser draw. “Namjoon.”

Namjoon stills before turning to face you and placing a gentle kiss on your lips. “Condom.” he says against your mouth.

“I’m on the pill.” Turning around, you press your back to his side. “Unzip me.”

Slowly zipping your dress down, he leans forward to kiss the skin over your spine. He can’t believe just how incredibly soft your skin is, and how attractive he found every inch of you. Wiggling out of the dress, you throw it to the floor and lay in front of him clad in lacy lingerie and swollen lips.

“I hope you like lace.” you say, biting your lip as you watch his eyes rake over your body. Namjoon hates that he doesn’t have a photographic memory because he thinks that you’re an artwork crafted by angels.

You watch his eyebrows furrow slightly as if he were taking a photo with his mind. “How did I get so lucky?”

Grinning, you grab the strap of your bra and unclip it. You watch his expression shift to lustful hunger as your breasts bounce free from restraint.

“Y/N,” he gulps loudly. “You can pull my hair as hard as you like if I get to look at those all night.”

“Sounds like a plan.” you say before he lunges on you with the most feral looking cheshire grin. Returning his lips to your mouth, you undo his belt and rip his shirt off. “Sounds like a good plan.”

—-

Namjoon’s lost count of the amount of orgasms he’s had when the lights flicker off and the room fades into darkness as licks of the streetlight begin to streak into the room. He looks up at you in admiration. Your face was illuminated by the streetlight, every curve of pleasure etched into your face made him feel so fucking happy, he had never seen something so ethereal before in his entire life.

He moves his hand from your hip to tuck the falling hair behind your ear. You’re riding him so hard and biting back the mewls at the way his length feels throbbing inside of you that you feel the edge of the cliff you’re running towards approach so quickly and so intently that you’re afraid you might freefall into glaciers, and fall into the freezing depths of the ocean. It just didn’t make sense, but then again, none of this really did.

Your hands are fanned over his pectorals and he’s whimpering something under his breath that you can’t quite understand.

Opening your clenched eyes, you peer down at the heavy lids of honey gold staring up at you.

“What did… you …say?” you pant, leaning down chest to chest. Namjoon smiles before slamming his hips up into you. You’re staring at him and he’s staring at the way your hardened nipples rest on his chest before you start suckling over the patches of bruising on his neck.

“I said,” he starts, before summoning the last of his strength to flip you back onto your back with a thud of the headboard against the wall. He runs the tip of his cock over your heat before he re-positions himself at your entrance, slipping back into you.

“You’re beau..tiful.”

—

Somehow waking up in the early morning covered in lilac memories with an olive toned arm around your waist that you quickly replace with a pillow, made you feel dirty. Or maybe it was stealing his underwear for proof and sneaking out of his room before he woke up that made you feel dirty.

You couldn’t be sure.

One thing you were sure about though, as you smile at his sleeping face and swollen lips as you leave, was that you were definitely not the first to cum.

You laugh as you sneak out and you laugh when you throw his underwear at your friends when they decide to pop over for evaluation. You were purple, black and blue and somewhat proud that the awkward frat boy wasn’t just an awkward frat boy, but actually incredible in the sack.

“How do you feel Y/N?” Jisoo asks, sitting beside you on the couch. “You look happy.”

“I want to do it again.” you groan, staring at the ceiling with widened eyes. “If a man wants to peaches and cream you, bloody let him. I’m spent. I don’t even know how I managed to walk here. My legs feel like jelly.”

“Well,” Dahye says laughing at you. “That was probably the most exercise you’ve done in ages Y/N. Who you kidding here?”

You gasp at her before throwing a couch pillow at her face. “ha ha ha, very fucking funny.”

—

Weeks fly by in rapid succession when you decide that perhaps you should see a psychiatrist because you were definitely going nuts. All you could thing about was him and wanting to do it again, and imagining peaches and cream, sweeter than sweet, chocolate cheeks and chocolate wings.

Sleeping with him was supposed to mediate the sex frustration you had been feeling but of anything, it just made you feel more horny and frustrated and more annoyed at the world than usual.

It didn’t help that Dahye had given him your number and he had been relentlessly sending you morning messages, pictures of the sky or even pictures of himself pouting at your empty usual seat in the library because he wanted to study with you.

“Y/N, come study with me.” he texts and your brain melts over the unnecessary amount of winking and eggplant emojis. Don’t make me send you a page of implicitly lewd emojis back, you cock tease.

It was cute, but your relationship was weird and undefined and maybe it needed to stay that way but Namjoon clearly wanted more and you were clearly having a meltdown. Having sex with him again will definitely not make this better, but man you wanted to.

Maybe you should see a psychiatrist.

—

Turning onto your back, you lay underneath the covers staring at the white of your ceiling. Your roommate always went out on Saturday afternoons so you had the entire flat to yourself and the quietness gave you time to do absolutely nothing but think.

It was the mindfulness you needed, but as you start to remember the way his hands rubbed up your body again, you start to consider slipping your hand down into your panties to relieve your stress. But as your hand slips past the waistband of your sweats, your phone buzzes to life against your dresser. You stare at it without moving, waiting for it die down because you know it will either be Namjoon or your friends or your mom.

Sinking back into the sheets, you wish that Namjoon was here to repeat that maneuver he did with his tongue that made you convulse against him, man that felt good.

Your fingers falter above your slit at the sudden loud knock on your front door. Ripping your hand out begrudgingly, you rip the covers off your body and stomp towards the door confused as to who it could be. Your friends wouldn’t knock, you didn’t order anything and your roommate doesn’t need to knock.

You open the door cautiously and to your surprise, it’s Namjoon standing outside in the cold. He’s wearing a black cap and a khaki bomber jacket and he’s staring at you with the sexiest frown you’ve possibly ever seen and every second his onyx eyes stare down at you, you feel a familiar heat creep to your core.

“What ar-”

Namjoon pushes forward, shoving you back in. The chill of outside licks up your spine and you shudder against him as he closes the door behind him. He’s still staring down at you and he’s quick to place his index finger against your lips in case you decide to yell down the hallway.

“Sssh!!!” he says, still hovering over your lips.

Your eyes widen stunned by his presence and stunned that suddenly you felt more alive right now than you have all day.

“What the hell are you doing here?” you say, pushing his finger away from your mouth to do so.

He slips off his shoes before hovering closer to you. “I’m sick of playing these games with you Y/N.”

You knit your brows together as you watch him fidget nervously with his zipper. “I don’t remember playing games with you Namsoon, unless of course you fancy a game of chess in which I need to say I can’t beat the computer on easy. So I’ll only play games I’m good at, like UNO and-”

“I miss seeing you around.” he interrupts, and blink twice baffled by his confession. How could he possibly miss you when he doesn’t know you. “You may think that’s garbage Y/N, but my feelings are actually bubbling over and man, my heart, you got my heart screwed up.”

“Do you do this to all the girls you’ve slept with? Tell them you miss them and show up out of the blue knocking on their doors when they were in the middle of doing things that you know, they do…”

He raises his hand to your face and your heart rate increases, scared of what he might do. His warm fingers grip your chin, tilting your face up to his and an intense silence envelopes between the two of you. “No, only you. It’s been only you.”

“And, Y/N. It’s not like that. You can’t look at me and tell me that you didn’t feel anything that night despite all this bullshit about bets and dares.” he says, searching your eyes for answers he knows he won’t get from your stubbornness. Letting your chin go, he whispers. “I can’t get you off my mind, it’s driving me nuts.”

You gulp at the sudden intensity of his stare as he looks into your eyes. “Is it my insane beauty or the way I made you cum within …hmm,” you stammer, holding a finger to yours lips. “…. a couple of seconds of sucking your johnny.”

He blushes before laughing. “In my defence, it was the best couple of second of my entire life.”

You laugh. And your both standing in front of the door genuinely laughing when you decide to cut to the chase.

“I did feel things but ugh, Namjoon, it’s too early to talk about feelings.”

He frowns as he checks his watch. “It’s 2 in the afternoon.”

“No,” you laugh again. “Between us.”

“Oh,” he grins, fumbling with his rings in front of you. “Well, I’m not sure if it’s obvious but I like you and I’ve liked you for ages. Arguing with you about grades was the only way I could get you to talk to me. You’re so cold Y/N, you’re an ice queen.”

Raking your eyes over his face, you take in every small detail. His eyebrows seemed to carry a weight of emotion and his lips were pouting as if to stop himself from leaning down and kissing you.

“An ice queen? Don’t even get me started on that stupid movie Frozen okay? Unless you look forward to hour rants, wait a minute, you don’t even know me?” you say, crossing your arms. “And I don’t even know you.”

“You say that as if we’ll never find out.” he says, stepping closer. “We can do that now. It’s not like we haven’t got time and I… have lots for you.”

“We don’t have chemistry Namjoon, what happened last weekend was because of alcohol and because of our stupid friends.”

He stares at you with the intensity of a thousand and one suns, “No chemistry? Thats funny, I definitely remember a lot of chemistry between us. Let me remind you.”

“Namjoon. I can’t. We can’t-

Namjoon takes his cap off, chucking it to the floor as he suddenly presses forward to cut you off with a soft kiss on your lips and you almost immediately sink into his arms.

Who were you kidding, you had more than chemistry; you were engineered for this.

His lips were rough but soft and as he wraps his arms around you, kissing you with no other incentive but to gorge the emotion you already felt too much of, you suddenly feel safe in his arms.  

Wrapping his arms around your waist, he lifts you off the ground and you laugh nervously against his mouth. “You didn’t let me finish.” you growl in between kisses, but he never lets you finish. Swiping his tongue over your bottom lip, he grips his hands around you tighter and you tangle your hands around his thick neck as your kisses turn into a heated make out against the front door.

Namjoon loosens his hold and slowly breaks off the kiss. His eyes are still closed when you pull apart and when he rests his forehead on yours, you feel the affirmation you need. This was definitely chemistry and this felt kind of right

“I’ll leave you to think about us then.” he says albeit reluctant to move.

Unwrapping his arms from you, you feel reluctant to let him leave when he had gotten you this hot and bothered without relief. He giggles when your hold on him tightens and he leans down to kiss your cheek. “If you don’t let me leave right now. I don’t think you’ll be able to get me to leave again.”

You look up to his eyes, intense and happy, before leaving a swift kiss on his lips. “What if I don’t want you to leave?”

“Then tell me to stay,” he whispers lowly, caressing your cheek with his hand. “Say it.”

“Please stay with me Namsoon.”

“Aish, it’s Namjoon. Nam-joon.” he mutters, wrapping his arms around you again. “And yes. I’ll stay with you.”

Kissing your forehead, he starts walking you to the couch and your laughter fills his chest with honey, vanilla candles, afternoon coffees, morning sex and peace. And you fall onto the couch in a tangled mess of limbs

“Good.” you whisper against his lips. “I can distract you with my boobs when you try to study, then we’ll see who ends up on top.”

And he smiles against your mouth.

“I like the sound of that.”

“Of course you do.” you whisper, pecking his lips.

“What can I say? I love a good woman on top.”

“Well then, why don’t you…” you whisper, pulling his hair a little tighter in your grasp. “Touch me.”

“I will until you tell me to stop.”

“Good.” you smile

and he nods in agreeance. “Good”

[roseok]

Rocket to the Moon | (m)

Jeon Jungkook | Roommates AU |  Smut | Romance | Office Romance | Domestic Y/N | Squirting | Oral Sex | Sassy Characters | Cussing | Christmas

COUNT—20, 805 words ↳ A/N: There you go. 

❝Being Jungkook's roommate and colleague screws you over in more ways than one. When one door opens, another door down the hall closes.❞

It was a late October afternoon, the sun was hidden behind swaths of cotton clouds and Jungkook hadn’t moved an inch from the living room couch. It was cold, the weather had been awfully sporadic with its snowfall and rain and you hadn’t moved a peep from the warmth of your comforter. You had been avoiding Jungkook and his shirtless glory all week in fear of accidentally testing waters too hot for your toes and climbing him like a tree.

He was too hot.

And you were too horny for a male roommate, much less Jungkook -you’re colleague at work.

Nonetheless, it had been a quiet restful day in the small downtown apartment you shared with him, but it was in the afternoon where you became restless, and the day you knowingly and unknowingly changed the course of your entire friendship with him.

Ring rinnnnnng ring rinnnnng

“Does he not hear the phone?” You exclaim, hurriedly ripping off the comforter and pulling open your mahogany bedroom door. He was closer to the damn thing than you were.

The sweet dulcet sound of his laugh and the child-like Japanese conversations from the TV ripple down the hallway, drowning out the sound of the phone as you shiver in the cold.

Ring rinnnnnng ring rinnnnng riinnnnnnng

Running down the hall in nothing but a short white dress and Scooby Doo socks, you stop in front of Jungkook cooped up in a nest of blankets watching anime.  

“Jungkook?! The phone, do you not hear it?” You kick his leg before walking past him, and Jungkook ignores you in response as his eyes stare firmly at the screen. “Oi! If you ignore me, you aren’t having any of my muffins.”

Ring rinnnnnng ring

“Oh, are you making muffins?” he says without turning to you, a smile pressed towards his beloved TV.

You frown at his messy rag of brown hair and the food in the corners of his mouth. “I am tomorrow.”

Shaking your head, you rip the phone off of its hook mid-ring. “Hello, Y/N speaking.” You drop the formal speech as soon as you hear your mother's excited voice on the other end.

“Ma, please refrain from screaming into the phone. I can hear you.”

Jungkook snaps his head towards you.  Pausing his anime, he raises his eyebrows. “Is it your mother?”

Putting his blankets aside, he swaggers up beside you and you frown again as you notice the familiar polar bear slippers on his feet. The boy needs to stop going through your closet; roommates or not.

“I’m just calling in for a couple things, I won't take too much of your time.”

“Are you talking to your mum?” Jungkook whispers, poking your side as he sits on the kitchen bench beside you. Forgoing his sweaters, Jungkook starts playing with the hem of his white t-shirt. “Y/N?”

You ignore him as you listen to your mother try to guilt trip you into buying her a new handbag for Christmas, she does this every year so you have enough time to buy one -it wasn’t even close to Christmas yet.

She’s talking about the model of the bag she wants when Jungkook starts poking your cheek for attention, “Y/N Y/N Y/N.”

Putting a hand over the phone, you slap his chest. “Yes I am so stop.” Holding the phone back up to your ear, you proceed to listen to your mother talk about her friends and their children, whilst absentmindedly running your fingers over the holes in Jungkook’s jeans. “That’s great ma, but I honestly don’t care about their children. How are you?”

Leaning against his thigh, he watches you flutter your eyelashes as you process the fast-paced information spilling from your mother’s mouth. Your lips shift into a smile as you graze your fingernails over the skin of his knee. He shivers at the weird electrifying feeling buzzing from the spot underneath your fingertips to the tip of his cock.

He bites his lip when he notices just how close your breasts are to his thigh.

Oh man, why did she wear a black bra with a white shirt, I can practically undress her with my mind. Yuck! No, Jungkook stop! Don’t think about your roommate nun like that. She’s a prude! A nun! ...but nuns are always on their knees man and if I just lean closer she’d...

He shivers again at the dirty thoughts running a mile in his brain. It’s been a couple of weeks since he had a girl over and the heavy weight of frustration felt like tar accumulating in his bones. He felt sensitive and the skin underneath your fingertips tingled like crazy down his spine.

Take a deep breath Jungkook. You will be okay, just think about puppies and Y/N’s mother making you fried eggs.

He gulps harshly as he watches your fingers rub against his skin. Tensing his thighs, he jerks his knees away from you but your fingers stay in the folds of a ripped hole.

“I’m working ma. There’s a huge cash bonus if I stay,” you say and Jungkook leans back against the kitchen wall to tilt his head at you in confusion. As far as he knew, you both had left booking flights last minute and couldn’t solidify seats until after the new year.

He taps the hand playing with his jeans for attention. You put your hand over the phone and whisper, “She’s asking about Christmas.”

He makes an “o” shape with his mouth.

“What about Jungkook?” she asks and you stand up straighter as you stare at the scar on his cheek and the chapped quality of his lips. “What’s he doing for Christmas?”

“Jungkook?” you repeat and Jungkook leans close to the phone. His hot breath smacks you in the face and you grimace at the smell of Doritos and death. Eager to pass the phone away you smile at him as you say, “He’s right next to me. Want to talk to him?”

She laughs into the phone almost too sweetie. “Sure sweetie, pass him over.”

With every intention to go back to bed, you laugh into the phone. “Alright well, I’m going now. You can talk to him all you want. Love you ma.”

Handing the phone to Jungkook with a pout on his face, he reluctantly takes it from your waiting hand. “Where are you going?” he asks, running a hand through his unwashed hair.

You laugh bitterly “I’m going back to bed where you can’t annoy me.”

Shaking his shoulders, he whines for you to stay. You wished he understood how difficult it was being in the same room with him. You’d been having wet dreams of him again, and the stark difference between the dom in your dreams and the loser on the couch watching anime, was immense.  

“No. No, you can’t leave.” he whines, suddenly wrapping his legs around your waist and digging his heels into your stomach. “You’re staying here.” He pulls you towards him until your flush against his chest.

“Jungkook.” you yelp and his thighs clench around your sides tightly when you try wiggling out of his grasp. The thought of dropping to the floor and crawling away never even comes to mind. “It hurts, let go.”

Holding the phone to his ear, his opulent brown eyes twinkle in mischief as his lips pull back into a smile.  “Yes, I’m good ma. And what about Y/N?”

You stop wiggling as you frown at the expression on his face. He truly loved being annoying. He scrunches his nose at you as he raises a hand to your face and tucks a fallen strand of hair behind your ear. He does it without hesitation as if it were a completely normal thing for him to do and your heart throbs at the strange gesture.

“Maybe it’s because your daughter is just too beautiful.”

You blush at the words running seamlessly out of his chapped lips, what is your mother saying to him? And why is he responding like that?

Jungkook continues running his fingers through the soft hair behind your ear and you nearly melt against him when he drags his fingertips in circular motions on the sensitive skin of your neck.

The soft graze of his nails send a course of shivers down your spine and you close your eyes at the strange intoxicating feeling he elicits with nothing but his fingers. It’s been too long since someone touched you like this. And you don’t realise you’ve craned your neck for more until he laughs softly at your reaction, waking you up from the sedate of his fingers. His hand rests below your ear, playing with the stud of your earring.

“Well, she is half of you isn’t she?” he flirts and you stare in disgust. Jungkook smiles gently at you and the sudden throbbing of your heart renders you unable to look away. Shaking the tips of his hair out of his eyes, you dart your eyes to his shoulder.

There was something about Jungkook that made you feel entranced. He wasn’t anything like the type of men you usually go for, he slept around, he was messy and irresponsible with time, but he was kind, hardworking and smart. Then again, Jungkook wasn’t someone you were actively trying to sleep with. He had been your roommate for quite sometime now, and naturally, he had become close with your mother.

If your mother had not pointed out just how good looking Jungkook was, you would’ve never noticed and thus, you would’ve never felt this way for him. But now that you had, you couldn’t un-notice it and you’d do just about anything to go back to the time where you hadn't.

Which is why you had been avoiding him.

In all honesty, you didn’t think it would’ve bothered him when he had a close-knit group of guy friends and lots of women at his beck and call. But alas, whilst you actively avoided him, you never noticed the sudden decline in his sexual grandeur. The girls that zipped through no longer zipped anywhere and Jungkook hadn’t seen anyone since.

He laughs into the shell of the phone, before his smile shifts into a frown. “I don’t need to go on a blind date ma. Your daughter is all I need.”

You blush at his comment again, seriously what is she saying to him? Attempting to wiggle out from his grasp, he tightens his hold on you.  

“Jungkook, let me go you,” you whisper harshly and Jungkook puts a finger over his lips to shush you. “I swear to go-

He covers your mouth with a hand, interrupting the sling of insults you were about to shoot at him. Digging your nails into his wrists, he lets your face go.

“What the fuck was that? Jungkook, oh my gosh,” Shaking your shoulders, you whine. “Just let me go.”

He laughs into the phone as you give up. “Tell your friends that your son-in-law says hi, they’ll get a kick out of that.”

“What?” you snap, balling your fists into his shirt. You stare into his murky brown eyes. “If you won't let me go, I swear to God I’ll …I’ll hurt you …yeah I’ll hurt you in the most painful way possible.”

He rolls his eyes. “Try me.”

Looking at his lap, Jungkook’s eyes widen at the devilish smirk on your face as you slowly go to punch his dick. He wraps a hand around your fist, just above it's intended target.

“Y/N.” He pulls you close to your face. “Were you actually going to punch my dick?”

You can hear your mothers rapid voice over Jungkook’s whispers. His doe eyes stare at you in disbelief.

“What? Don’t think I won't? tsk, asshole.”

“I don’t think you could even touch it,” He laughs. “You’re a prude.”

Please take that as a challenge, please touch my dick. It needs you.

You smirk as he laughs heartily, his hand now covering the shell of the phone. “I’ll make you cum your pants Jungkook if you keep being a smart ass with me. If you won’t let me go, I swear I'll do it!”

He rolls his eyes at you before moving the phone and whispering into your ear. “Like hell you would.”

Slowly moving your fingers down his sweater, you find purchase on his inner thigh. “Want to rethink that?” Jungkook immediately stiffens underneath your hands as you start rubbing up and down his thigh.  

Holy fuck. She’s going to do it. Calm down man, you got this. Puppies, kittens, puppies, kittens, Jimin, puppies, Jimin and Yoongi with puppies.

Holding the phone back to his ear, he distracts himself by listening to your mother. “Y/N? I wouldn’t worry too much about her ma she has me.” he chokes, furiously biting his lip at the fingertips that purposefully graze up a little too high.

I can’t do this. I’m definitely going to cum my pants.

He pushes your hand away. Leaning towards the shell of his other ear, you whisper. “I’ll do it, I will. I’m giving you five seconds.”

...what can I do if she wants to touch me? I can’t just stop her if she wants to…

His suddenly darkened eyes watch your hands slowly rub and down the inside of his thighs. He can feel the blood quickly rush to his cock. “Like you would Y/N. Just stay still.”

He continues talking to your mother when you lightly place your hand over his fly. He shifts uncomfortably underneath your hand and you laugh lightly in his ear, “Five seconds are up Jungkook.”

Puppies and kittens. Puppies and kittens.

You note the sudden hitch in his breathing when you bite his earlobe. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Placing your lips on his neck, you start rolling your tongue over his jugular as you slowly palm him through his jeans.

Holy shit. She’s doing it. Oh god, that feels too fucking good.

“I-I’m actually really good. W-wwork has been running me to-to the bone but I’m thankful that I can come home to a cooked meal. Your -daughter is too -good to me.” He croaks, craning his neck as you kiss up the column of his neck.

Harder. Bite me. Go on, bite me. Do I grab her back? Does she want me to touch her? Oh man I want more than anything than to touch her right now. What the fuck is wrong with me? Her filthy mouth in my ear, her beautiful hand working my cock. Who is this Y/N? Where have you been hiding?

Jungkook doesn’t let you go until you start vigorously palming his erection, and it must work because his voice becomes low and tense on the phone. You can hear the racing rhythm of his heart as he starts lifting his hips to meet your hand. You watch the beads of sweat collect on his forehead when you start lightly biting down his neck. His feet don’t unwrap around you but you can feel his thighs shudder against you.

“I’ll dd-do that,” he says, his voice an octave lower than before. "Me? I don't have a girlfriend."

I can’t do this, I need to touch her. What the fuck is wrong with me? Her mother is literally talking about how worried she is that her daughter doesn’t get much male attention. If she only knew the kind of attention she’s giving me right now, I wonder what she’d say. No! Don’t wonder about that. That's gross. Oh man, it feels so good, I need more. I need more of her.

“She’s not l-lonely?” he stutters, his voice eclipsed by the sudden uprising in pressure. He doesn’t think he’s going to last much longer at this rate, it’s been too long and it feels just too fucking good.

He jerks his pelvis towards you when you unbutton his jeans, unzip his fly and pull his jeans down. He gasps when you dip your hands into his underwear and his eyes dart doe-eyed and disbelieving when you wrap your cold hand around his throbbing thick cock, and the breath slams right out of his chest when you pull it out of his pants.

You’re ignoring the angry red head of his cock, the prominent veins, and the comfortable length in your hand as you squeeze him nice and tight, but you can’t possibly ignore the way he pushes his hips towards you. He wants this? He wants me to do this? He actually wants me to do this? You smile, as you stare back into his eyes. Slowly licking your lips, Jungkook watches the pink muscle skirt over your bottom lip.

Something awakens in him when he watches you bite your lip. He feels it blossom in the bottom of his stomach, a spark of some sort, setting his nerves on fire.

Oh god, her mouth. Her mouth is so pretty.

You swipe the bead of pre-cum leaking from his slit, when he bites back a groan trying to cover the shell of the phone with his chest. You’re in half the mind to slow down so your mother doesn’t here him scream, but this is Jungkook’s fault.

If only he let you go.

And it’s hard not to imagine what he’d feel like inside you as your wrist starts to ache but the thought is there and it’s playing field hockey in your underwear.

“Oh God,” he growls, blinking back tears of relief. “Don’t stop, don’t stop, please don’t stop.”

Your heart starts thumping madly against your ribcage as you squeeze him tight, fisting up and down his shaft. You weren’t entirely sure what you were doing, the single moment you felt him harden under your administrations, you just couldn’t stop. You wouldn't dare stop and the moment had you feeling intoxicated and somewhat dizzy to time, you just couldn’t think straight at all. The plan was to escape, not get aroused but as you hear the husky timbre of his voice and feel his lips on your ear, you’re completely at his mercy.

“Just like that Y/N,” he moans, resting his head on you and biting into your shoulder. “Don’t stop. Just like that.”

The slick sounds fill the silence between you when Jungkook suddenly remembers the phone. Lifting the phone back to his ear, he tries listening to your mother talk about your love life but he just can’t handle it with the way your fingers feel so fucking good wrapped around his dick.

You slow down at the ache in your wrist, but Jungkook starts violently rocking into your grip. He’s clenching his eyes closed so tightly that the pleasure paints diamond shaped stars on the back of his eyelids. If he felt like this now with a miniscule handjob, having sex with you would feel like a rocket to the moon.

He’s whispering in your ear through shuddery breath about how good it feels and your panties can’t possibly get anymore soaked at the hoarse quality of his voice.

“Be quiet, she’s still talking!” you cover his mouth with your other hand, when he slowly lets go of the phone against his ear. You whisper, “You weren’t as loud with the girls you’d drag into your room, so shut up!”  

He moans loudly at the same time the phone slips through his palm and smashes to the floor. You can hear the dial up tone echo off the tiled flooring.

“Oh great, what am I going to explain to her hmm?” you snap, watching him flutter his languid lids at you. “Sorry mother dearest, I was giving our little Jungkookie a handjob and he dropped the phone because he couldn’t keep himself in order.”

He drops his legs from around you but leans on the kitchen wall to watch you mercilessly fist up and down his length. It hasn’t occurred to you just how particularly fucked up this entire situation is, but then again, the relationship you have with him isn’t particularly normal. This was bound to happen.

“And you said I was a prude,” you growl, tugging him tighter. He moans loudly as he leans back. “I could stop right now if I wanted to.”

He snaps up, drawn out from his impending climax. “Y/N, please don’t,” he pleads, “I need you. Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.” He wraps his warm hand around the wrist working his cock.

“Then you should hurry up and cum on yourself before I stop.” He stares back at you suddenly frightened by your threat.

Please please please please please don’t stop. Please please please.

He starts chanting to himself as he watches the strands of hair he tucked earlier, fall back in front of your eyes. The pressure starts building and building and building and you can feel every muscle in his body tense. You know he’s close and you’ve never seen Jungkook look so lost in pleasure before and the sight makes your body melt in need.

You need him.

Oh God, you need him.

Tipping his head against the wall, you watch him swallow harshly as he squeezes his eyes shut again. The pressure building snaps as he hoarse shouts your name loudly, and just like planned, he cums all over himself. You try to aim the spurts at his clothing in your indignation, but the cum still slips down your wrist.

You wipe your wrist on his jeans when he limply pushes your hands away. You step back and admire the view. Jungkook on the kitchen bench with his cock hanging out, his cum all over his clothing, head tilt back, eyes squeezed shut and red bite marks all over his neck.

“You look beautiful like that Jungkook,” you snicker as you walk towards the doorway. “Cock out and cum all over you, what would my mother think if she knew you got off to her voice hmm?”

He weakly stammers, his languid lips fluttering open to stare at you. “Where did you learn to do that?”

“The same place where you learnt how to blow Yoongi,” You laugh as you lean on the doorframe. “It was just a handjob Jungkook, it’s not that hard.”

You laugh at your unintended pun. He stares at you in complete disbelief. “That was… woah. Wait, fuck I practically moaned when your mother was talking about how lonely you are.”

You step closer to him with a plastic grin. “I did give you a warning and you did tell me not to stop.”

The phone rings again and Jungkook’s eyes can’t possibly get any wider when you run back to your room and he has to pick up the slightly broken phone and explain why the call got dropped. You leave your door open as you crawl back into your sheets, and Jungkook strips naked in front of your door as he stares you down. He stands completely bare at your doorway before throwing his cum covered clothing in your washing basket and walking to the bathroom.

It was a cold late October afternoon, the sun was hidden behind swaths of cotton clouds and Jungkook hadn’t left the shower in over an hour. You had tried reading your book, but the moans were a symphony on replay in your mind and the pleasure contorting his face made you wet beyond relief. And as you slip your fingers into the waistband of your underwear to relieve the arousal he had made you feel, you never hear the shower turning off through your reckless moaning, nor notice Jungkook walking slowly past your bedroom.

"Holy fuck."

Through crisp nights when sleep couldn’t grace his burning body, when the frustration inebriated painfully beneath his soft olive skin and when his feet pushed him towards your cotton sheets.

Jungkook knew he was in trouble.

The sexual tension etched into his core precipitated sleepless nights, and the skin you’d unknowingly expose around him tantalised his wildest fantasies. He never thought of you in a way that would disrupt the fragile foundations of your cohabitation, but the thoughts that played squash on the part of his brain telling him that you were a land no man should ever explore, provoked a desire to do exactly that.

The thought of you writhing beneath him, the swell of your breasts between his fingers, hands on unexplored skin and the symphony of his name falling from your languid lips.

When Jungkook could steal himself a minute in the quiet of his office or in the shower after work, he’d think of you. He’d lean against the tiled wall or back against the leather of his seat, spit into the palm of his hand and imagine his cold wet fingers were replaced by your smart mouth.

He can see you through his office window now flicking a pen in between your fingers, with hair lapping and devouring your pale and pensive face.

Jungkook wants to send you a picture of his hand working himself just so he can watch a slither of an expression that isn’t stress or frustration, but looking at the pile of work now sitting on your desk, he knows the distraction would never be welcomed.

So much like his attempts to physically woo you in the break room, in the filing room and on the way to work, you were indolent and Jungkook closes his curtains after watching you bend over to retrieve a runaway pen from underneath your desk, to once again, relieve himself for the second time that day.

Work was tiring for both you and Jungkook, then again, it always was around the end of the year, but in November it was especially crazy. Your manager had taken time off to spend time with his family before the inevitable beehive your office would become during Christmas, and his work had naturally been passed down to you.

You weren’t complaining though, the mountainous piles of paperwork beside you had become a welcome respite from addressing the sexual tension between you and Jungkook.

You just weren’t ready to talk about it.

So as you hide behind piles of paperwork, proposals and reports, working till the late hours of the night. It was in the claudenstine of the filing room or over meals in the break room, where Jungkook would finally be able to see you and hold you after days of missing you by the skin of his teeth.

Jungkook hated the idea of never getting to see you almost as much as he hated himself for getting off to your panties in the laundry room on nights when he knew you'd come home late. He felt pathetic, and nostalgic of the girls he could get in between his sheets with a single wink.

Jungkook could feel his patience wear thin at your indolence, he was sick of rolling with the tide and the rubber band within him that kept him calm and collected at the sight of you, was at breaking point.

He was about to snap.

And you were about to break him.

Turning up Frank Sinatra's Fly Me To The Moon, you start compiling ingredients as you dance in the kitchen. You don’t notice the audience you have watching you have fun on your own, but Jungkook’s there leaning on his bedroom door, wondering why you’ve suddenly left the solace of your bedroom to bake. Sundays were your days of solace and Jungkook’s day to binge watch the anime he missed out on with his busy work schedule.

"Fly me to the moon and let me play among the stars. Let me see what spring is like on a-Jupiter and Mars...."

When you use the whisk as a microphone, Jungkook crosses his arms over his bare chest and laughs quietly to himself.  He missed this, he missed you. He missed you alot.

Jungkook hasn’t seen you out of your office attire in weeks but now as he gazes upon the messy hair pushed up into a ponytail, and your body hidden within the short white tunic dress behind a baking apron, he feels relieved that you’ve finally found some time to yourself.

And in turn, happy that he can spend time with you too.

It wasn’t until you were spooning the batter you accidentally made too much of into muffin trays halfway through your baking playlist when Jungkook decides to come in wearing nothing but the gray sweatpants that hung loosely off his hips to wrap his arms around your waist behind you.

Sitting his chin on your shoulder, you try to focus on spooning the rest of the batter into the muffin tray as opposed to the firm muscles behind you and the hot breath running down your neck. “What you making?” he whispers.

You scoff as if the answer wasn’t obvious. Wiping flour off your nose with the back of your hand, you push aside the batter filled tray. You had forgotten to pre-heat the oven, and the thing was barely on. “What does it look like Jungkook?”

“Muffins,” He says it with such a serious tone that it makes you laugh through your nose. “Blueberry muffins.” he finishes.

“Good job. You’re so smart,” You turn your head to him as he scrunches his nose at you, but your gaze drops onto his protruding collarbone and the bare chest against you. “What the hell, why are you shirtless?

Your body goes rigid when he holds you tighter, splaying his long fingers on your lower belly. “Well, I wouldn’t be if you hadn’t turned the gas heater on and left it on.”

You shiver at the muscle wall behind you and the ache suddenly emerging from the position of his fingers. Have strength Y/N, you’ve got this. Don’t be such a pussy bitch, he’s just holding you. Nothing else.

Turning from his intense gaze, you wonder if the room just skyrocketed in heat because of his closeness or if he was right and you had left the gas heater on again. “Dammit, I keep forgetting. Did you turn it off at least?” you ask, sprinkling the sugar topping on each muffin with trembling hands.  He nods against you, and you move the bowl of extra batter beside him.  

Letting you go, he leans on the countertop beside you. “You know the power bill is an extra zero more than it should be because you keep leaving it on?” he says, picking up a blueberry and eating it.

You sigh, “I’m sorry, I keep forgetting about it.”

“You aren’t sorry. You’re forgetful and obviously way too comfortable when it’s my month to pay the bills. Are you this forgetful at work too?” he stands up straighter. “Wait, is that why you stay out late all of the time?”

You gasp as you tear your eyes away from the muffin tray to his face. He’s smirking at you, “I choose to stay at work late thank you!”

Stepping forward, he leans down to your ear. “Just like how you choose to  avoid me.”

“Yeah, because you’re so annoying,” You push him away with a frown. “If you’re going to grate my nerves, get lost Jeon. The kitchen is my sanctuary.”

“Ooooh, calling me Jeon now,” Dipping his fingers into the bowl of leftover batter, he says quietly. “I don’t remember you telling me that when you had your hand wrapped around my dick Y/N.”

You gasp at his comment at the same time, he wipes the batter all over your face.

“What the flying fuck balls Jungkook!” you shriek, pushing him away from you. “Did you seriously just?”

He laughs again. “You need to smile more, frowning will give you premature wrinkles. I’m just looking out for you.”

“Dairy makes me break out you asshate. If you really want me to stop frowning then stop making me frown at you.” Grabbing the bowl, you grab a handful of batter and Jungkook watches in slow motion as you throw it at his chest. He didn’t think you’d do it back, but as you watch the batter drip down his body, Jungkook stares at your suddenly pale face.

He watches you pale in realisation at the poorly thought out action and what it may have started.   What have I just done?

“Y/N,” he whispers, the batter drips to the floor when he slowly walks towards you. “You’re not frowning anymore.”

His serious expression drips into a smirk as he grabs the bowl from your limp arms. You run away just as he scoops his hand into the sticky muffin mixture. Jungkook had a scary competitive streak in him, and from the look on his face right now, you were a tad afraid of the outcome.

"You can't run from me!" he shouts, as you continue running. "Hey, come back here!"

You scream when you feel his fingers graze the skin of your arm, but the excited laugh falling from his lips makes you smile pathetically. You’ve always loved his laugh. “Y/N! Get back here.”

You’re both running around the kitchen island, laughing and throwing batter at each other when Jungkook suddenly stops. You stop laughing when he hoists himself over the island.

“You fucking cheater Jungkook,” you yell and when he jumps on the floor in front of you, he wraps his arms around your waist and lifts you in the air. He laughs like a child when he spins you around. “Put me down!”

He shakes his head as you slip down his body. Slapping his chest, he slowly places you back on feet. He’s staring down at you covered in batter, dark brown eyes and plump pink lips when he whispers lowly, “Hey, I got you.”

And you slowly albeit reluctantly pour the bag of blueberries beside you on his head with a wicked grin as he gently slaps your cheek with the batter from his fingers. He stays still and you watch the streaks of blue run from the tips of his messy brown hair down to his lips as blueberries run wickedly down his pants. He swipes a streak with his thumb, and without breaking his eye contact with you, he puts it in his mouth.

He watches you stare at his tongue as he sensually circles his finger, your sharp intake of breath makes him snicker. He tries to make you laugh, by tickling your sides with the hand wrapped around you, but his touch elicited a different kind of response between your thighs. One you’ve all but been accustomed to since the hand job fiasco last month.

He takes his finger out with a pop and you watch his tongue run over his lips until he slowly pushes you up against the kitchen wall. His chest is covered in batter and your face is dripping with it to, but you don’t care right now. The way Jungkook is looking at you right now makes you want to jump his bones. He’s biting his bottom lip, and staring at you in a silent order to take off your panties.

Oh man, you’d do it.

He wraps his hands around you, pulling you close and your hands stick to the batter on his chest in reflex. The air around you is thick with tension and with a heartbeat throbbing in your ears, you watch Jungkook watch you.

“Look at the mess you made,” you whisper, trying to look everywhere else but at him. Grabbing your thigh, he runs his hand up underneath your dress, setting a fire within your nervous system.

He bites his lip, but whispers back. “All I see is you.” The lust blown pupils staring at you, watch your every move as his hands explore the skin around your underwear. Your lips whimper a moan at the feeling of his hands so close to the place where you want them the most. You immediately cover your mouth with a batter covered hand.

He pulls your hand away from your mouth and his smile slowly falls as he his darkened eyes stare down at your lips.

Your breathing halts at the shift in tension.

“Oi, you’ve got batter all over you,” he whispers, leaning closer to you. "I can help you with that."

He leans his face close to yours and you press your thighs together tightly as he licks the batter off your cheek. Grazing his supple lips across your jaw, he rolls his tongue on the soft skin of your neck.

“Jungkook,” you swallow harshly. “What are you doing?”

His lips are rough against your skin but his tongue rolls over your jugular and the feeling is so nice, that it sends electricity straight between your thighs.

He grunts against you in response.

He’s kissing and sucking across your jaw and down your neck, rolling his tongue on every inch of your neck. His hands roam your breasts as your hands rub the batter off of his shoulders.

“I don't think I have batter in my bra Jungkook,” you wince as he pinches your nipples a little too hard. “Hands off the merchandise Jeon.”

Dropping his hands to your hips, he sucks on the sensitive skin under your ear so hard trying to paint it pink and purple that you moan so loudly as you dig your nails into his honey coloured skin.

The blood is rushing to only one area of his body but he has no qualms about it now. You were too beautiful not to touch right now.

Not to kiss.

Your hands thread through his soft hair and you tug when he starts nibbling down your neck, Jungkook whimpers at the feeling of your nails scraping down his scalp. This is the most euphoric feeling Jungkook has ever felt with you in his arms and as his hands slowly inch up to your neck, he holds your head tenderly as he kisses across your cheek and just as his lips have every intention to kiss yours, the oven timer goes off.

The tension dissipates as the preheat timer slices right through it.

You both turn to the oven and Jungkook lets you go hesitantly when you drop your hands from his hair. Jungkook doesn't know what's gotten into him. The sudden confidence to express himself bewildered even himself. And from the little hickies on your neck, he knows he may have gone just a little too far.

“What are you doing?” he whispers, dropping his hands when you jump away. He doesn’t cling to your back, he leans against the counter watching you nonchalantly walk over like he didn’t just set a fire in your body. "Oh, the muffins."

You scoff like it wasn't obvious. “No Jungkook, it's the kitchen telling you to stop being a hoe.”

Slowly putting the oven mitts on, you place the muffin tray in the oven and leave the timer for 30 minutes.

“It's not my fault when you just look so good.” he snaps back.

You snort laugh at his lame compliment. “Thanks babe.”

The process of sorting out the oven is slower than usual as you try to regain the wits Jungkook tried to kiss away, but you’re all too aware of a panting Jungkook and his piercing glare, the charged tension and the near kiss you could've shared with Jungkook had the oven not cock block you.

So when you take off your baking apron with the finality of your thoughts against continuing this with him, you turn to face a red-faced and batter covered Jungkook and without a second thought, you throw it at him.

“I cook,” looking away from his feral onyx eyes, you clear your throat. “You clean.”

He laughs lowly, catching the drift. “Perhaps the kitchen isn’t the most appropriate place to make me cum my pants again Y/N. Are you going to keep doing this to me?”

You blush at the vulgarity of his tongue. “Did you cum your pants? But Jungkookie, I didn’t even touch you this time. Am I that gorgeous? Awh poor Kookie.”

He growls as you lean on the end of the kitchen island opposite him.

And you cry with a throbbing ache in your lower belly at how sexy that was.

“Don’t talk to me like that,” he snaps, stalking over to you. Placing his arms on each side of the counter, he leans down to the shell of your ear. “I bet I could make you cum twice before the muffins finish cooking.”

You cross your arms and scoff. “What happens if you don’t? What are we betting here?”

Jungkook rests his hands on your hips as his lips fall back upon your neck. “If I can’t, you can blast the gas heater whenever you want because I’ll pay all the bills.”

“And if you can?” you ask, craning your neck as his lips graze up to your ear.

“Well, you’ll pay the bill.”

You smirk. “I don’t know what you’re getting out of this but okay. It’s a fucking deal Jeon,” turning to the timer on the oven, you read 28 minutes. “You’ve got 28 minutes. Do your worst.”

He runs his fingers through his hair as he smiles. “Just say no if it gets too much, I’ll back away straight away okay?”

“Hey now, no need to prep me. I’m already quite prepped by that sudden attack on my neck,” You smile at the courtesy and consideration though. “Hop to it then.”

He drops his hands from your hips to the hem of your dress. Without breaking his eye contact with you, he slowly hikes it up and along with your baking apron, he pulls it over your head until you’re standing in front of him in nothing but a mismatch blue and black lingerie combo.

“No lace?” he scoffs, eying you up and throwing your clothes on the kitchen island behind you. “I'm loving the granny panties Y/N.”

“Shut your face,” you blush. “You don't wear lace so why should I? That shit is uncomfortable.”

He smiles warmly. “Should I wear lace next time? Will that appease you?”

“Next time?” His eyes fuse with yours for one terrifying second. “If there's a next time, I request a lace thong,” He runs his fingers down you as you talk. “But I doubt there will be, I’ve survived horrible sex before and I can do it again.”

He holds your chin between his fingers. “This won’t he horrible. I'll only use my fingers.”

You roll your eyes. “I feel so relieved by that. Go on, you've got 26 minutes.”

Harshly slamming himself against you, his clammy hand grabs your ass.

“Woah, what did I just agree to?” you quiver at the warm hand covering the expanse of a cheek, but he grins back. “I’m sending you to the moon.”

He slams his lips against your neck again and the gasp that tears through your throat is more of a moan than anything else, how he managed to find the sweetest spot on your neck out of everywhere else, amazed you. His soft hair tickles your naked skin, but the feeling was completely welcomed as his mouth went south.

Trailing his fingers up your hips, he growls. “Why are you so goddamn soft, have you been using my body wash again?”

Pushing him away, you stare at him in absolute disbelief. “Really? Right now of all times. Really Jungkook?”

He laughs before kissing across your collarbone. You whimper his name pathetically, tangling your fingers in his hair when he starts kissing around your bralette. He looks up to you at the same time he starts running his tongue on your nipples.

“Is everything okay?” he smirks, watching your glazed over expression. You smile as his hand starts falling to the waistband of your panties. “Don’t tell me you’re close already. I’ve barely touched you.”

Rolling your eyes, you look over to the oven timer.  “Look Jeon, you’ve got 25 minutes and I’m barely wet.”

Jungkook immediately pushes his fingers through your slick sex. “You call this being barely wet? You’re dripping dude.”

You close your eyes as you wrap your arms around his neck. “Ah, that's nice. I'm totally feeling it right now.” you sigh.

Jungkook isn't sure if you're being enthusiastic or sarcastic.

“Open your eyes baby,” he whispers, and then you do and not because he asked so nicely, but because he called you baby and the term of endearment sounds so foreign on his tongue after calling you dude and bro that you feel confused. “Y/N, Is it okay if I kiss you?”

“No, you’ll fall in love with me if I let you.” you deadpan, leaning against the counter. He growls at your response and your heart ricochets red against white walls.

He rubs your clit faster and your moans become more frequent as you approach the cliff you feel all too happy to jump off. Licking your hard nipple through the bralette, you mewl. “This feels niceish Kook.”  

He kisses up the column of your neck, but groans harshly “Hurry up and cum, we’ve only got 20 minutes left.”

And then strangely, you do. It wasn’t the most satisfying release you’ve ever had, but it quenched a desire threatening to tear your sanity apart. He keeps his hand in your panties and stares at you with the damnedest expression.

“What?” you ask, suddenly feeling incredibly insecure under his probing expression. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

His jaw tenses. “You were quiet.”

You scoff. “I usually am when I cum.”

Jungkook stands there in complete disbelief. You were always quiet? Bullshit, he’s heard you scream his name fucking yourself. He wants to hear it for himself. Pulling his hands out from your panties, he pulls them down. “What are you doing?”

Lifting you up, he places you on the counter and quite forcefully lays you down. Your back falls upon the cold counter. “Jungkook the fuck are you doing?” His erection presses uncomfortably against the counter, but at this rate, he doesn’t care. You challenged him ...again.

“I’m going to eat you out until the very last second okay princess?”

You laugh loudly. “I’m not your fucking princess you condescending prick,” you stir on the countertop, prepared to leave the kitchen as soon as possible.

He growls again. “You’re silent? You sing in the shower? You moan when you eat chocolate. You whimper when I hug you. You purr when I play with your hair.” he leans down to your face. “You are not fucking quiet. And you won't be with me. Lay the fuck down.”

The sweat on his forehead drips down the side of his face. His eyes are filled with a fire so hot, you can feel it against your skin. You’ve never seen this side to Jungkook before, but you’re completely attracted to it.

Obediently, you lay back down. If he wants to make you feel good, who are you to tell him no.

“Good,” he murmurs. Shifting himself in front of your legs, he spreads your knees apart to gaze at your sex.  “Hey Y/N, did you know that you have a freckle right by your clit?”

Your frame wracks with laughter. “What the fuck kind of pillow talk are you into Jungkook?”

“Oh shut up, we’re in a kitchen. There aren’t any pillows here.”

You laugh again but your entire body stills when he starts running a single finger down your clit. Kissing up your thighs, Jungkook gently rubs your clit and your legs fall limp. Ribbons of pure hot pleasure lick up your thighs as the water in your lower stomach starts boiling in anticipation. You’re watching his head of brown hair get closer to the ache between your thighs. You want to say a rude remark, an insult, a joke, anything that would keep this light and fun, but from the onslaught of fire coursing through your body, your brain feels fried in their composition.

Ghosting his mouth over your heat, he looks up to you and smiles. “You may want to hold onto something kitten.”

“Don’t fucking call me kit-

His brutal tongue flattens against you and all words trying to form on your tongue, fall apart when he starts moving his.

Sucking on your clit, his hands start roaming your body again until they find purchase on your breasts. Roughly grabbing them his tongue lapses over a spot that makes you cry out and when you do, Jungkook doesn’t stop there.

“Jesus Christ Jungkook,” you cry out. Holding his head there, you jerk your hips against his tongue. “For the love of Naruto, don’t you dare fucking stop Jeon.”  

He laughs against you as the movements of his tongue slow.

“Whats with the blasphemy? I said I’d take you to the moon, not to heaven. Calm down, I’m not that good with my tongue.”

You groan in indifference as you push his head between your thighs again. “I don’t care where you take me, just keeping doing that thing you were doing or I’ll choke you with my thighs.”

“Oh you mean this?” Jungkook purrs into your sex. He repeats the move and a violent pressure starts ripping through your body. His hands sit still on your chest as his entire focus is on hearing you scream his name. He isn’t satisfied with your moans and your whimpers, albeit incredibly sexy, he needs to hear you scream.

His tongue flattens on your clit as he slips two finger into you. Without mercy, he pumps in and out at a vigorous pace. Grabbing his hair again, you roughly hold onto him. You have the urge to strangle him with your thighs, but you don’t in fear that he’d stop because you think he might just to have the upper hand.

Curling his fingers inside you, you scream out in pleasure when he finds that spot that paints half a dozen stars behind your eyelids.

The moans you tried to keep under your breath become louder, and just when you go to cover your mouth, Jungkook grabs your hand and interlaces his fingers with it. Rocking your hips into his other hand, he starts kissing up your abdomen.

“Right there Jungkook ...oh God.”

Jungkook watches you arch your back and curl your fingers into the clothes around you. You writhed beneath him but you hadn’t screamed his name yet and he was determined.

Kissing back down you, he sucks on the hood of your clit with a new determination. Thrusting his fingers inside of you, your eyes roll back as your mouth falls agape. “Jungkook, I’m-

He smirks as he sucks harder.

“Jungkook,” you cry out. You couldn’t breathe when he furiously worked you like that. “Jungkook, that feels so amazing. Right there baby, right there.” You couldn’t dare hide the noises and the compliments that rose from your course throat, but when his name tears through your throat in a hoarse shout of absolute pleasure, the moan dissolved into his confidence and Jungkook thrusts his hips against the counter as he curls his fingers into your sweet spot.

He thrusts into you with more vigor and your release slams right through you in one intense violent pressure akin to jumping off a cliff and skydiving through clouds; like a hot pot of water boilings over. And just as the timer goes off, you cum all over his fingers and you squirt all over his chin.

Jungkook is very aware that women can fake their orgasms, he’s had countless do it when he got too lazy to be on top, but here he was, with physical evidence that he made you orgasm. That he made is sarcastic roommate orgasm.

He softly caresses you through your high as the specs of white in your vision dissolve back into the kitchen ceiling; until you completely melt on top of the kitchen counter.

You lay there with the inability to process anything. You wanted to cry but you knew if you tried, there wouldn’t be tears. And if there were, they wouldn’t be out of sadness, but in relief. Jungkook just sent you to the moon and back.

He was good. No, he was great.

You twitch as he removes himself from you. You’re all too aware of how drenched of sweat Jungkook looks, but he definitely wasn’t that drenched a minute ago.

“Oh my god,” you quiver in mortification, slowly sitting up in front of him. Looking at the water like fluid dripping off the counter and down his chest, you immediately hide behind your hands. “Holy cow, Jungkook I didn’t s-

“Y/N,” he interrupts, grabbing a towel from the cupboard below you. Throwing a towel at you, he says.“This one's for you, and this one -he holds up another green towel- is for how good I made you feel.”  

He doesn’t even care how messy it suddenly got in the middle of the kitchen, or how incredibly embarrassed you seem, that was the most beautiful fucking thing he’s ever seen. He bites his lips as he wipes his face and down his chest and you follow the movement of his hand to the waistband of his sweatpants. You nearly gasp when you see how strained his cock looked tenting the thin fabric.

“The muffins,” you sob tremulously, wiping your thighs down. Leaning over you with a shit eating grin, Jungkook places a kiss on your forehead.  

“You stay here, I’ll turn the oven off.”

Walking past you, he turns off the oven. With the oven mitts, he takes out the muffins as per instructed and places them on the stove top. He takes a deep breath before turning back around and walking towards you.

“I don’t want to be rude or make you feel insecure or embarrassed Y/N,” he stammers, standing in between your legs as you wipe the sweat and batter from your neck. “But that was the first time a girl has ever squirted on me.”

You groan in embarrassment as Jungkook wraps his arms around your hips. “I’m seriously just going to runaway and hide from you now Jungkook, I can’t believe I did that.”  

He laughs. “Don’t go and do that, I’m serious Y/N. No-one has ever done that to me before and I’m just ...woah.”

Picking you up, you fall limp in his arms as he wraps your legs around him. “What are you doing?”

Carrying you towards the bathroom, he rubs down your back, unclasping your bra. “Dude, I’m taking you to the bathroom.”

“Dude? And here I was enjoying baby,” Leaning your chin on his shoulder, you whisper into his ear. “I actually feel boneless Jungkook. What did you do to me?”

“Now you know how I felt,” he says, pushing open the bathroom door with his foot. “And that was only a handjob, imagine what having sex-

“AH!” you shout, cutting him off. “Don’t say it. Don’t you dare say it.”

Walking towards the shower box, you wrap your arms around his shoulders as he turns on the shower. He smells like laundry powder and home and all you want to do is stay in his arms. Mainly because you don't want to look at him and you're too lazy to walk. That thought makes you want to vomit. “I’d love to shower with you baby, but I need to sort myself out.”

“Okay, you can stop calling me baby now, you’re the baby.” Taking off your bra, you sit on the shower floor with the rivulets running down your back.

“What was the deal again?” you ask as Jungkook reluctantly goes to shut the door behind him, you’ve completely forgotten everything.

He snickers. “I made you cum twice. I believe the bill this month is around 3 big ones.”

You gasp. “You did that on purpose.”

He winks at you and you roll your eyes as you hoist your middle finger in the air. “Get lost Jeon.”

He palms his erection. “Gladly.”

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Chapter 3

Chapter Text

You were sitting on the red bean bag by the open window next to the Christmas tree clutching the covers of a book you had accidentally abandoned in the mix of work and Jungkook. Admittedly, you were no longer sure what you were reading but that unfortunately had become a thing whenever Jungkook was around.

You had this searing hope in your heart that he would crawl over and touch you again. And the thought made you cringe because these days, you aren’t sure if you should kiss him or uppercut him.

Especially now when Jungkook had rapidly oscillated between being his unbridled self, annoying you with his self-deprecating humour, to being a quiet menace on the couch staring holes into the back of your head.

He knew your limits and he understood with perfect clarity that your kitchen fiascos had ruined your friendship, he knew you were keeping it together. He knew you were trying to clutch onto the ends of something slowly unravelling.

But it didn’t mean he understood it, he had made you feel so good as you did to him. Who in their right mind wouldn’t want to do it again?

He watches you, his gaze pensive. He’s really looking at you, drinking in every subtle shift on your face as your eyes pierce through the page. You bite your lip, a timorous habit Jungkook had come to notice when you tried hard to focus and when you slowly and sensually let your lip go just to bite it again, Jungkook shifts uncomfortably in his seat.

And just as the sun sets, casting you in rays of an angelic glow, everything hits him at once. Years of overlooking you just for women with no substance, but more piercing features; years of admiration and regret catch up at the speed of a bullet train towards him; and Jungkook finds himself overwhelmed by the pure ferocity of his affections.

The cold air sweeps through the crack of the open window, blowing softly through your messy locks. He watches you shiver as you sink back into the bean bag. The simple action had him subdued by the thought of crawling over and holding you close to his chest. The picture, so beautiful and so humbling; your fingers gripping the thin fabric of his shirt; your head on his chest; and your legs splayed over his.

He wanted you close, smiling up at him as he smiles down at you. The appeal of comfort and happiness was exhilarating, and it was exhilarating because Jungkook never thought about having those with anyone else.

And it took him way too long to realise it.

Before, you were considered a sexual connoisseur blueberry muffin maker amongst your other talents, but now as he looks at you. Now as he really looks at you, he can’t imagine you as anything other than his person. It was a strange transition from wanting to rip your clothes off to wanting to hold you.

But then Jungkook is so lost in his thoughts of you and what you two could be, that he doesn’t even notice you’ve dropped your book in frustration and that you’re now staring straight back.

His eyes sweep back up at the skin of your arms bathed in the warm glow of the last seconds of the sun, but as he finally notices you staring back with a single raised eyebrow and a shit eating grin, the sun sets and the room starts to seep in darkness.

The angelic illusion shatters when you snort at him with chocolate caught in the corner of your lips. “Did you just realise how beautiful I was Jungkookie?”  

Jungkook scratches the back of his head when you laugh and turn back to your book, but he continues to stare at you in the corner of his eye. He wanted to know what it was that made him feel so swayed, nothing about you was above average.  

“As if,” he scoffs nervously, “I was staring at the window idiot.”  

“You don’t have telekinesis, just go close it then.” you groan and Jungkook groans back as he reluctantly throws the blanket aside to do exactly that.

Closing the window with a chill running down his spine, he ruffles his hair as turns back to you. “I’m hungry.”

“Me too. Make us some food.” You say. Taking a deep breath in, you outstretch your arms to him as he walks past. “Jungkook, wait! Can you please pull me up?”

Jungkook stops and stares at your hands. “Why should I help you?”

You pout at him as you shake your hands before him. “Jungkooooooooookkkkk, please.”

He tries to hide the smile peaking on his lips, but you see it. “Jungkookie, please help me up.”

Holding your hands, he smirks down at you. “What will you do for me if I help you?”

You frown, you aren’t playing these games with him again because you’ll know how they’ll end up. You try to pull your hands away from his grasp, but he doesn’t let you go. His fingers dig into the skin of your wrist. “I asked you a question Y/N, answer it.”

You gulp harshly as you stare up at his serious expression. The warmth of his skin sends tingles up your arm. “Well, I will help you up when you’re down as well?” you frown, avoiding his suddenly dark brown eyes.

Jungkook must be pleased with your response because he grins, tightens his hold on your hands and pulls you onto your feet. He holds your hands as you stand in front of him sheepishly.  “You don’t know what you just agreed to do you Y/N?”

You stare down at his large olive fingers holding yours. You don’t know why the sight makes your heart ritchot against your chest but it does and you can’t help but grin. “Thanks Jeon ...but you can let me go now.”

He lets your hands go quickly, almost as if he himself had fallen under the same reverie. You stare at the space between you, and you suddenly wish you had the kind of relationship where holding each other was a normalcy, if hand holding weren’t a foreign feeling and standing on your tippy toes and kissing his cheeks every morning was a thing you could do.

A thing you both could do.

You can feel the tension in the room tenfold as your thoughts rattle and jostle your calm. “Ah, Jungkook,”

He hums his attention as his eyes drop to your lips.  

Your groin throbs as he shuffles closer. “Um, I-I,” you look around the room, desperately searching for an escape. “I-I need to drop the kids off at the pool!” you exclaim.

The tension crumbles as you watch Jungkook process what you just said. He laughs as you run around him.

And then he laughs again when you slam the bathroom door behind you.

“She can’t run forever.”

Home (n):

Home is where the heart is.

“Would you get lost Jeon? I’m trying to shave my legs.”

Leaning against the doorframe dressed in a white dress shirt and godsent tailored suit pants that hugged his beautiful thighs, Jungkook stares straight at you.

“Don’t mind me,” he says with a cheshire smile that reaches his eyes. “Just continue doing your thing.”

Holding up the towel on your head with one hand and holding the razor with the other, you ramble as he stares on amused. “Seriously, stop watching me. It’s so creepy. I don’t know what you’re thinking about.”

“You know, I wondered why your legs were always so smooth and it never occurred to me that you shave them.”

Putting the razor back in its hold on the wall, you pump moisturiser into your palm. “You were curious about my legs? Well Jeon, the secret is actually moisturiser.”

He feigns interest as he tilts his head at you. “Really? What kind of moisturiser? Is it magical?”

Jungkook had taken full advantage of living with a girl and getting to know the way females operate, but of all things he couldn’t understand was why they shaved everything. He folds his arms over his chest as he watches you rub the lotion into your skin.

“It’s coconut,” dropping your legs from the (edge of) bathtub, you wipe your hands on the towel around your head. “I’m assuming you were waiting for me to hurry up so you can brush away your stinky breath, am I right?”

Dropping his arms, he exclaims. “Yes! I thought you were going to give me a synopsis of your hygiene routine or an ingredients list for your lotion.”

“If you’re that obsessed with me, I can give you one,” you cross your arms as you walk towards the door, but Jungkook slams a hand across the doorframe, stopping you from leaving.

He looks down at you expectedly as you roll your eyes again. “Jungkook, do we really have to do this every time I shave?”

He nods at you as if the answer were obvious. “Of course you do,” You place a hand on his shoulder as you extend your foot out from your robe. “I don’t understand why you like doing this. It’s a fetish I swear it is.”

His hair tickles your chin as he bends down to slowly roam his palm up your left leg. He chuckles as his oven hand roam the soft skin of your thigh. You shiver against his hand as his fingers trace dangerously close to your sex.

“Don’t you dare move your fingers further than that Jeon, my mother would never approve.” you stammer nervously, letting his shoulder go.

He smirks when he looks up to you. “Since when did I need approval?” Lifting your thigh, he holds it against his hip as he pushes you up against the doorframe with an unnecessary amount of strength. His suddenly dark eyes stare into your hesitant ones.

“Oh? Thats straight. You never striked me as the type to need approval or your mother's permission before.” Moving his hand to your ass, he lightly squeezes as he watches your pupils dilate. “And you definitely did not ask your mother if I could make you cum the hardest you’ve ever came in your entire life.”  

“You're amazingly self-assured. Has anyone ever told you that?”

You watch his tongue slide across his supple bottom lip. “I tell myself that every day, actually.”

He pushes himself against you and your retort drowns in your mouth when you feel his erection press against your stomach.

“Dude, seriously?” Pushing your palms against his chest, you shove him off. “Jungkook seriously? Have a cold shower or something. Don’t poke your one eyed monster at me.”

He drops his hands from you. “I can’t help it. Everytime I think about you I get an erection ...and I’m thinking of you and your legs right now.”

Rolling your eyes, you cross your arms over your chest. “Does everything have to be sexual with you? It’s not even 8am yet, you’re a different species I swear.”

“You swear a lot.”

“I know.”

“Your legs are soft, so you can go now.”

You scoff as you watch him walk towards the bathroom mirror. “I’m so glad I got your approval.”

He laughs loudly as he leans close to the mirror wiping the sleep away from his eyes.

“If you like smooth legs so much Jeon, I’ll buy you a razor for Christmas and you can touch yourself-”

Much to your dismay, his mouth quirked in something akin to a shit eating grin as he interrupts. “Why though? You could always touch me instead Y/N.”

Ignoring the quickening of your pulse, you raise an eyebrow. “Why are you always so quick to make things sexual? What’s wrong with you? Is sex all you think of?”

He winks at you as he turns back to the mirror. “Only if it’s with you babe.”

You shoot a hard glare at his reflection in the mirror. You were sick of him sexualising every single conversation. “Jungkook, I’m not going to talk to you if you keep saying this kind of stuff to me. How do you expect me to feel?”

“Roused up?”

“It makes me feel like I’m only good for one thing Jungkook. It makes me feel like shit.”

He turns back to you with one of the softest expressions you had ever seen. “I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. I’m just trying to make you laugh.”

“Well, you can do it without making it about sex Jungkook.”

He tilts his head at you. “...whats up with you this morning? Why are you so cranky? Are you getting your period? Do you need me to get you some ...stuff?”

“What? No. I’m not being cranky, I’m just ...ever since we… you know ...in the kitchen… ”

“We touched each other?” he fills in.

You blush at his words. “Well ever since then, you’ve just ...you don’t talk to me normally anymore. 89% of our interactions are…”

“Heated?”

“...not normal,” you finish, watching him prop himself up onto the bathroom vanity.

Plowing a hand through his soft brown hair, he stares at you with glistening coffee colored eyes. “Have you ever thought that maybe it’s because we aren’t normal?”

“No. I’m normal. It’s you. You’re so….”

“Sexy?”

“No,” you snap, stepping closer to him. “Annoying. You’re so annoying. Can’t you just …talk to me like how you did before we touched each other because that would be nice. You look at me like I’m a walking sex toy, I’m more than that you know.”

“Of course you mean more to me than that.” With his forearms propped on his thighs and his legs crossed against the bathroom vanity, he tilts his head at you with the most serious expression you had ever seen on him. “But I don’t think you get it Y/N.”

“Get what?”

“We,” he points at the space between you. “Will never be the same again. Whether you like it or not, you aren’t just a roommate to me anymore. How do you expect me to treat you the same after everything?”

You walk towards him until you’re standing in between his thighs. This wasn’t how you envisioned your morning to be. “I expect you to treat me with respect and kindness.”

You grab the hand on his lap and hold it. “Jungkook, look. I just want us to be a little less…”

“Not normal?”

You nod as he interlaces his fingers with yours. “And a little more…”

“Normal.”

Silence ensues as he rubs his thumb across your knuckles. A sentiment that had become a thing between you to calm each other down -it worked.  

“You know,” he whispers, holding your hand a little tighter. “This is going to sound strange but sometimes the moon reminds me of you.”

You look up as he stares down at you in admiration. With his other hand, he pulls the hair falling out from your towel behind your ear before resting his hand below your earlobe.

“In what way? Because I’m crazy?” you ask.

“No,” He shakes his head with a soft laugh. “You’re crazily beautiful when you want to be, and everything about you is so bright. Your personality, your laugh, your kindness ...you light up a room Y/N, but these days…”

“The moon doesn’t light up a room Jungkook… but these days?”

“Shut up, you know what I mean,” he says, holding your gaze. “These days you just feel so far away.”

You nod again as you softly pull your hand away from his, taking a step away. “But you know Y/N, man hasn’t been on the moon for a while now ...and given how cranky you are this morning ...it kind of makes sense…”

“Bloody hell,” Cracking the mood, you frown at him. Slapping his thigh, you chastise. “We were getting somewhere there Jungkook!”

Jungkook shrugs his shoulders again as he laughs. “I’m just making an educated guess okay. Don’t mind me.”

Rolling your eyes, you storm towards the door. “Just brush your goddamn pearly yellows Jungkook. I’ll see you at work.”

“They’re white!”

You shout down the hallway. “Who cares.”

He watches you walk away as he sinks back against the mirror with his toothbrush in hand. Of all the months in the year, even the ones that encompassed the repercussions of your kitchen sexual escapades, December marked the ending of it all. But marked the beginning of everything else between you and Jungkook.

“So, what's up between you and Jungkook?” Yoongi whispers, leaning over the breakroom table to do so. You look up from your phone, to the brunette in front of you. His eyes dart into yours at a ferocious pace trying to figure you and Jungkook out.

“Hmm?”

“You and Jungkook,” He lifts the coffee close to his face. “Are you guys together? Can I ask that or are you guys on the down low…?”

He tilts his head in Jungkook’s direction and you follow his gaze to Jungkook’s lean frame just outside the break room.

“...you both get along so well already. And it’s not like every time I go out for a beer with him he doesn’t bring you up. Sometimes you’re all he can talk about...”

You watch Jungkook talk with his boss, dishevelled brown hair splayed over his brows and his white dress shirt half untucked. Jungkook stretches his arms into the air when the group of men walk away without him.

“I don’t mean to pry at all but I think you should definitely make a move on him, because my bro is suffering and he’s also a wimp. I don’t mean to say that in a way that makes you feel pressured or anything, just basically what I’m saying is that you’re both hot and single and into each other, I don't know what the deal is. Why are you both waiting?”

Putting a hand on your jaw, you lean onto the table in a wandering gaze as Jungkook collects his printouts from the printer. “Yoongi, do you ever just want ...to be held? Like, of all places in the world, wrapped in their arms is where you want to be the most?”

He chokes on his coffee, breaking you from your Jungkook stupor. “What did you just say?”  

“I meant in general...” You stare worriedly into your coffee as your cheeks heat up. “I-I was just wondering.”

He laughs, placing his hand over yours. “Y/N, it’s okay to be into him. I just can't believe you never considered it before. He’s a good guy.”

You laugh awkwardly. “That’s not what I meant,” you mumble, pulling your hand away from his and bringing the coffee to your lips. “How was your weekend by the way, I heard your blind date went well.”

“Well if we were being completely honest Y/N, my blind date went horrible. I can’t wait for Christmas to be over, I’m sick of this romantic bullshit. Why do girls romanticise Christmas?”

“Everyone’s lonely Yoongi.”

He scoffs. “What is that supposed to mean?”

You smile gently at him as you reach over and place your hand over his again. “You don’t fool me Min Yoongi. I know you want to love and be loved, I see it in your eyes. Just ...let people in okay? You’ll be happier if you let them in.”

He gulps visibly as his eyes settle on the hand holding his. “I could say the same to you,” putting his hands in his pockets, he rises from his seat. “Let Jungkook in.”

You watch him leave the workroom with a blank expression before settling into his office chair. There was something about Yoongi that made you realise two things:

He always has something to say about others but never about himself

He was right

There was no other way to describe your feelings than what he just said felt right, it just felt right no matter how hard you tried to shake it. Staring into your coffee, the table tilts ever so slightly when you notice Jungkook sitting in front of you.

“Hey you,” he says, tilting his face at you. “I don’t want to say this but you seriously look exhausted Y/N. Maybe you should go home and get some rest.”

You blush. “It’s fine Jungkook.”

He leans close, as you watch his eyes swirl with the colour of dark roasted coffee beans.

“Should I tell you a joke?” he whispers, tilting his head.

“I don’t know Jungkook, is it dirty?”

He lifts his hands in surrender. “Not this time,” placing a hand over his heart, he says with confidence. “Scouts honour.”

“Fine, tell me a joke then.”

He smiles before lowering his voice. “Where do sick boats go?”

Shrugging, you mumble. “To the bottom of the ocean?”

He slaps his hands down onto the table as his lips cradle the bout of laughter begging to be let out. “They go to the doc… get it, the dock?.”

You bite back your smile in your refusal to laugh at such a lame joke. “Have you been talking to Seokjin because that was horrible.”

“I find that offensive. Give me one more chance?”

“Fine.” you muster, folding your arms over your chest.  Silence ensues as he stares at you.

“Jungkook?” you raise an eyebrow, as he tucks his fist under his chin. “The joke?” Shaking your hand in front of his face, you add. “Hello? You okay in there?”

He shakes his head as if he were shaking himself out of a daydream. “Sorry, I was going to say something but then all of a sudden ...your beauty made me speechless.”

“Ugh,” you immediately stand up, pushing in your chair. “You’re so greasy.” Washing your mug in the sink, Jungkook stands behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist -something he’d do at home and definitely not at work.

“What do you think you’re doing?” you shriek, slapping his hands away before they encircle your waist again.

“Cheering you up.” he whispers, wrapping himself around you, holding you tighter.

“I’m fine, I don’t need this.”

“You need this okay.”

“Okay?”

“Just stay like this for a second, it’s been a long day.” he murmurs with a tiny sigh. You can feel his chest rise and fall against your back as he gently rubs your arm. Despite everything, your stomach fluttered at the feeling of his body against yours.

“Jungkook?”

Loosening his hold, he scoffs. “Fine. Just let me tell you another joke then. How does a train eat?”

“Why did I immediately think of that Japanese horror movie where all these people jump onto the train tracks to commit-

“Of course you’d think of something so morbid,” Jungkook interrupts, his chest shaking with laughter against your back. “It goes chew chew.”

You snort laugh so hard trying to bite back your laugh that tears pool in your eyes. He lets your waist got as laughter fills the break room, music Jungkook would do anything to hear everyday.

“That was horrible Jungkook.”

“What do you call ghost parents?” he asks. He waits a minute before laughing again. “T-transparent.”

You cover your face with your hands before leaving the breakroom. “It just keeps getting worse.” He laughs loudly before following you closely.

“I’m funny! You got to admit that babe,” he says, and you ignore the pet name as he settle back into your cubicle chair.

“You can be and do whatever you want Jungkook.” He leans on the partition as he smiles at you.

“Anything?” he asks.

“Anything.”  You confirm without much thought.  

“Okay then. Movies Friday night, ONLY you and me. You can pick the movie and I’ll shout the food?”

“That could be cool,” you hold up your thumb. “Sounds like plan man.”

You watch him walk back to his office when Yoongi captures your attention from his office window with a wave and a  knowing wink. Your cheeks blush furious shades of fuschia when you try and hide behind the partition.

You knew he was right.  

But you weren’t ready to accept it.

“Jungkook, I don't know what is going on but a woman that looks like a slightly older version of you is standing in front of me with food,” you shout, his mother smiling brightly at you. “Do I let her in?”

He chuckles from the couch before sauntering over. He stares at her lovingly, dropping his arm on your shoulder to say boldly. “You take the bag of food from her hand and I’ll close the door before she can come in, sound good?”

You laugh as does his mother. Moving out of the way, you let her in as Jungkook's older brother silently follows. You watch her wrap her arms around his waist and pat his butt. “My son. You’ve gotten fat.”

You choke a laugh when you hear his gasp. “Ma! I have not.”

She lets him go to give you a hug. You watch the boys hug each other over her shoulder. “Y/N,” she whispers into your ear. “Do you have any plans to get fat with my son?”  

You blink twice, not sure if you were interpreting the same thing as her. “I think we’re well on our way if we keep ordering takeout Ma,”

She holds you tighter, excitement bursting through her veins. “I want grandchildren as soon as possible. I'm so happy to hear it will be with you. I’ve always liked you, you know.”

You blink three times, her words registering. “I like you too.” is all you can really muster when Jungkook tears her away from your arms.

Jungkook’s older brother sweeps you in for a hug, lifting you off your feet. Laughter ripples through your chest when he swings you around.

“Put her down hyung,” Jungkook growls behind you, which you both ignore because it’s Jungkook. “She’ll vomit on you, I swear it.”

He puts you down, patting your head. “Good to see you again, I’m glad our little one has shacked up with a good woman.”

“Wait, what-

His mother interrupts with a surprised shout. “What is this? Have you been sewing Jungkook? When did you get so good?” she holds up a pair of his work trousers you were mending for him.

He ruffles the hair on the back of his head as he looks at you.

“That was me,” you smile, walking over to her. “Jungkook is useless with this kind of stuff.”

She stares at you like you’re an angel sent from God before dropping the pants onto the table and pulling you in for a hug again. “Marry her Jungkook, or I’ll get your brother to do it.”

You laugh nervously. “Yeah, you’re salary fits my ideals Jungkook.”

“Ugh,” he says, dropping into the beanbag by the gas heater. You were both unwilling to get rid of the washing on the three seater couch and had been fighting over the bean bag all afternoon. “I feel like I am already. I just need to knock her up and we’re a done package.”

You gasp, protectively holding your stomach. “Don’t say that Jungkook. I don’t want to wreck my flower like that so soon.”

Everyone laughs, settling into their own spaces as you make cups of tea for everyone. And when you wait for the kettle to boil, you imagine it. Sticking your stomach out, you imagine a big diamond ring on your ring finger, that hand sliding down your protruding baby belly.

It should scare you.

But it doesn’t.

“What’s taking so long in there?” Jungkook says, coming around the corner and catching you in your belly-rubbing act. “Are you…?”

You drop your hand. “Am I what Jungkook?”

“Nothing.” he says grinning.

You spend the afternoon drinking tea and gossiping about colleagues when they leave. Closing the door with Jungkook by your side, you collapse into his arms when you hear the two honks, the telltale sign of departure.

“I need a nap, not sure about you.” he sighs, wrapping his arms around you.

“Read my mind ...carry me to the bedroom.”

“Kinky.”

“Being carried around is a kink for you, aye Jungkooky boy.”

He drags you to the bedroom, where you both nap for several hours, comfortably within each other's embrace. And you should’ve known then what that feeling was, but at least you know it now.

Regardless of how late you were at admitting it to yourself and accepting it as nothing but the truth, you loved him.

There were no two ways about it.

He was your laughter and your comfort and after a hard day, when you’d come home peeling off your chandelier earrings with mascara running down your cheeks from the stress cry you had on the bus home, he’d be there waiting for you.

And then he’d be in front of you with his latte coloured arms extended as you place your bag on the vanity, waiting for you to walk into his arms like you did on days that work made you feel like shit.

You loved him.

“Leave the door open! I’m coming in soon.” He shouts across the hallway and you shout back as you tether your hair up into a ponytail. “Remember to bring your pillows.”

You can hear him rummage through his closet as you turn the light off and turn your bedside lamp on.  

“Of course. Hey, I can’t believe how funny Edge of Seventeen actually was. I should listen to you more,” he shouts.

Wiping the rest of the makeup of your face with your makeup remover wipes in the bedside draw, you shout back. “I love your slow realisation that I’m always right. Better late than never.”

“If you keep going right, you’ll end up going in circles around me Y/N.”

You roll your eyes. “Wouldn’t you love that Jeon. You’d finally be the centre of someone's universe.”

“Well ...you aren’t wrong there.” he shouts.

You can hear him try to muffle his laugh from here, and it makes your heart flutter painfully and your lips pull back into a grin so wide and so blinding that when you look into your dresser mirror, you don’t recognize the person looking back.

You hold your palm to your cheek as you smile happily at your reflection. You were truly happy, it was a strange feeling. Turning away from the mirror, you switch off the lamp and jump underneath your blankets.  

“Hey,” he whispers, closing the door behind him as you settle facing the wall. “I bought my pillows.” Pulling the comforter up so he can slip underneath, he keeps his eyes on the small of your back as he lays down beside you.

“Good,” you whisper, suddenly feeling nervous. “Make sure to actually use them, if I wake up and you’re sharing mine again, I’ll ban you from my room.”

Nuzzling his face against the back of your neck, he hums as he nestles his body comfortably against yours. “You wouldn’t dare.” The sickly cold makes you shudder, but the welcomed heat of his body defrosts your limbs as he shifts his feet in between yours.

“You smell so nice,” he sighs, and your cheeks heat up again. “You aren’t my soulmate after all.”

“Wait, what?”

He laughs softly. “What? Did you want to be?”

“No I mean, where did that come from?” you say, unsure if you should even ask that question when the majority of his thoughts are completely random in nature.

“Yoongi and Seokjin told me that you can't smell your soulmate.”

“That’s stupid because in that case, whoever is your soulmate can damn well count their blessings that they don't have to smell your morning breath. You can’t smell your soulmate? That’s ridiculous Jungkook.”

“Not as ridiculous as you,” he whispers softly. You can feel his eyelashes flutter against your skin. “And if that’s the case, your soulmate better get used to coming second to me.”

“You? But what if you are my soulmate? What happens then?”

The question falls onto a sudden silence. “Jungkook?” You turn to him as he flutters his lashes at you. There's a sombre look on his face as he looks into your eyes.

Raising his hand, he strokes down your face as he leans forward to kiss your forehead. He holds his lips there, as you bathe in his warmth.  

You want to sink your fists into his shirt and curl into his chest because it was the type of affection that made your heart race into your intestines but also the kind of affection that you liked.

He pulls back, and you watch the shifting shades of hope in his eyes. His eyes scan every inch of your face for a reason why his heart was racing so quickly, and then the realisation hits him hard as if it had fallen straight from the sky and onto his heart.

It was love.

“Y/N,” he whispers.

“Hmm?”

“Can I,” Leaning forward, he rubs his nose against your own. “Can I kiss you?”

A soft smile adorns your face as he gently wipes away the hair across on your face. “What for?” you ask.

“To say goodnight.”

You laugh softly, nodding against him as he leans closer to plant his lips against your own. It was a slow and gentle kiss that comforted you in ways words never could. The caress of his lips were softer than you imagined and amongst the darkness, all Jungkook could suddenly see was light.

He cradles your jaw as if you were fragile glass. Holding his lips for mere seconds, you smile against his mouth before kissing him greedily, loving the way he felt against you.

Moving a hand from your waist to the back of his head, you tangle your fingers into his silky brown mane, lightly tugging him closer, deepening the kiss.

Jungkook thought it was impossible to love someone after having his heart hurt over and over again, but here he was, falling unequivocally and embarrassingly hard for the girl who always made him laugh.  

He laughs against your mouth as you pull away, registering a bit too late how heated the kiss had gotten.

You watch his eyes sparkle and his lips curve up into a smile as you settle in his arms. He holds you close, leaning his forehead on yours. He had finally kissed you, and with a kiss that tasted like October, Jungkook came to realise that there were no other words to describe his feelings but that he was simply in love with you too.

“Y/N,” he says, pulling away to look at your face. “You know, if I was your soulmate… I think I'd be happy for a long time.”

You watch his face sink into a smile before you turn back to the wall. “I know you would. Me too.”

He watches you settle yourself against your pillows, and as the moon swims across the dark sea and the wind loudly pushes itself against the window, you fight for sleep with kiss stained lips.

You felt delirious; a midnight summer dream of sorts and the silence that had festered between you, sat uncomfortably atop of the cracking tension between you.

“Hey ...are you asleep?” he whispers and you shiver at the hot breath against your neck. “Y/N?”

You bite your lip at the tingling sensation running down your spine. “I’m trying, why?”

“I just…” His lips gently press against the back of your neck in a soft kiss that makes the hair on your arms stand up. “I don’t say it often but thank-you for being you.”

You close your eyes at the feeling of blossoming tulips, roses, and sunflowers in the pit of your stomach. “Why?”

Jungkook puts his arm under the pillow beneath your head and his other over your waist. Pulling you close to him, he nuzzles his nose into your hair. Your entire body is alight against his touch. Every inch of skin contact tingles down to your suddenly throbbing heat.

“Today was a good day, and I got to spend tonight with you. I just, I love you okay?” he whispers with a finality and you widen your eyes at the sentiment. “I think I’ll be happy for the rest of my life if I spent it with you. With or without my soulmate.”

You hum your response, but your mind is anything but calm when you find yourself wanting to say the words you didn’t even know you were begging to say. You raise your hand to his one beside your head, gently placing it on the top of his palm. He interlaces his fingers with yours, and you whisper back. “ I love you too Jungkook.”

You felt a burden, no a weight, some sort of pressure slowly woosh away from your shoulders. You felt light at the confession, comfortable with the sentiment and relieved that it was finally out there.

You relax against him when you hear soft snores against you, but your mind is racing and your body is so awake with the crackles of electricity coursing through the skin he’s touching. I love you too, but what are we? you thought and as the stars slowly fade into the soft timbers of day, it was all you could think about.

“Y/N,” Seokjin calls out, waving across the foyer as he walked towards you. “Are you leaving work now?”

You nod. “Sure am, It’s Christmas Eve!”

Jin laughs loudly. “Oh I remember honey, Namjoon and I are going out on a date. I don’t think I’d forget about that.”

You muffle your excitement for him with a mitten covered hand. “You guys are finally going out on a date?”

He nods, jumping in front of you. “With some help from our lil Kookie monster, Namjoon asked me out!”

“I’m happy for you Jin!,” you sing, pulling him into a hug. “You deserve it hun, I hope he treats you right.”

“He will,” He blushes a watermelon pink when he pulls away. “Anyways, happy holidays Y/N, I hope you and Jungkook don’t climb each other too much.”

You blush this time. “I don’t know what you’re talking about…”

“Oh honey,” he smacks your arm lightly, his tone of voice teasing. “Have a very Merry Christmas. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

Jin winks at you before disappearing down the stairwell. Of course he’d take the stairs as opposed to the elevators like you always did at the end of the day.

Walking towards the elevators, you stare at the woman in it’s gold reflective surface. Your cheeks were red and your hair was pooling out of your bun like a typical overworked member of the marketing team.  

“What is happening to me?” you whisper, feeling exhaustion pull your eyelids closed. You were so goddamn close to exploding that it wasn’t funny anymore.

The elevator doors open with a swoosh and a ding, cutting through your thoughts as you pull your lethargic self through the doors. In truth though, you should sit down and talk to Jungkook about these surfacing feelings of love that feel like splinters of broken rib piercing into your heart, but you don’t have the courage to even admit it out loud, let alone to him.

You press the floor button and the door begins to close, but a hand slices through the narrowing space between the doors and your colleague Taehyung jumps on you before the doors close.

Is this what they call an intervention by God? You thought.

“Y/N!” He smiles widely with his arms wrapped around your shoulders. The lapels of his brown coat dig into your chin. “What are you doing now?”

Taehyung’s single right? You dart your eyes into his particularly happy dark chocolate gaze. It’s not like he wasn’t attractive and he does seem to like you. Maybe if he just kissed you, you’d get over being in love with Jungkook.

“Nothing why?” you respond, pushing his arms off of you as he presses the ground floor.

“I was thinking,” he stammers, crossing his arms over his chest. “Do you want to get dinner with me? I only ask because you don’t seem like yourself today and we’re both working through Christmas and I hate to bag on Jungkook, but he’s a bit of a clingy douche. And I think you could do with some fresh air and I-

“Only if you kiss me.” You interrupt and Taehyung’s mouth hangs agape at your offer. “I need a distraction. I’ll go with you, if you make out with me.”

He stares at you as you stare back. The elevator door sounds and just when the world couldn’t shit on you more, Taehyung says. “I’d love to make out with you but I know that you and Jungkook are fucking, so no thanks.”

You gasp at the uncharacteristic language fluttering out of his mouth. “What does he have to do with anything? We aren’t fucking? Who told you that?” you snap, pulling on his arm when he tries to leave. Walking beside him through the lobby, he sighs loudly. “No one did. I didn’t need to be told. I see the way you look at each other.”

You stop suddenly confused. “What? The way we-

“You guys look at each other like how I want to look at my future wife.” He interrupts, turning around and putting his hands on his hips. “He looks at you like you’re his world Y/N and you’ve gotta be poorly developed not to see it.”

Your heart clenches.

“Oh?” he mutters, stepping closer to you. “You didn’t know?”

Shaking your head, you choke.  “I don-

“He’s been acting like a totally different person for months now Y/N. I thought that he might’ve settled down but the way he looks at you in meetings or the way he tries to make you laugh in the breakroom or when he watches you from his desk, he made it way too obvious.” Taehyung pats your hair as you take in the information. “He’s in love with you. Aren’t you in love with him too?”

Your heart races into the silence.

“Maybe you should go home and think on it Y/N.”

You nod your head before he pulls you into his arms. “I’m giving you this hug because I know you need one okay. Not because I really want to kiss you, but because I want to be a good person to you.”

He pulls away from you and waves goodbye. “Come see me, Hoseok and Rose on Christmas okay? Rose is making cheesecake!”

Jungkook’s in love with me too?

You wave back. “As long as you forget what I asked you.”

He smiles back.

“What did you ask me?”

“Merry Christmas Y/N, see you at work on Monday!”

You rub your belly as you walk down the street a short walk away from home. Hoseok’s wife had made a cheesecake and you were currently carrying the remnants of your greed to full term.

“Y/N! Wait up!” Taehyung yells, flailing his arms as he runs up behind you. You watch his new red mittens wave at you. “Wait, I wanted to walk you home.”

You laugh at the boys antics for he had been trying to get you alone all afternoon to no avail. “Why does that sound like a lie?”

He ruffles his hair. “It’s not I just wanted to know if you and Jungkook talked yet, I was dying of curiousity but I didn’t want to say anything in front of Hoseok.”

Walking down the pavement beside him, you laugh. “Nope, not yet.”

“But why?”

“He,” you frown, lost for better words. “He gets kind of extreme.”

“What?”

“He’s very… I don't know how to describe it in words or maybe I’m just afraid of falling in love with someone who has had a milk mustache everyday since I’ve known him.”

“You can try?”

You try to explain to Taehyung that sometimes Jungkook takes it a little too far to get his point across as if it were a competition -that was just his nature, but Taehyung laughs as if every word you said was couple code for cute; a savage response out of love; and an aggressive way to brag about your affection.  

Walking towards your door, you punch in your apartment code number with him close behind. “Shut up Taehyung, you don’t even know.” He laughs when you push open the door. “Oh, you can come in. I have some leftover muffins if you want to take them home. I don’t think Jungkook will eat them, so you might as well.”

He smiles as he walks in after you. Sitting on the floor, he slowly starts taking off his combat boots. “Don’t mind if I do.” he says, struggling to untie his laces.

The door closes automatically behind you and as you unwrap your scarf from your neck and place it onto the hook by the door, something feels amiss in your apartment. Smoothing down the sides of your dress, you slip out of your shoes and abandon them by the door.

“Jungkook?” you shout. “Where are you?”

Walking into the living room, you’re graced with a sight so shocking and so beautiful and so frightening that you nearly scream. There in front of you was Jungkook.

Naked.

Head to toe.

With a santa hat on his dick.

The breath completely escapes your body when your eyes follow every crevice and every protruding bump of his sculptured muscles.

“Merry Christmas.” he smiles, watching the way your nipples harden underneath the soft fabric of your red christmas dress.

“Jungkook,” you snap, not entirely sure where to look on his body. “Put some clothes on quick because Taehyung is here-

But it’s too late because Taehyung screams behind you, interrupting your plea as you watch pure horror sweep across Jungkook’s face. “WOAH WOAH WOAH, I'M SORRY, OH MY GOD, IM SORRY Y/N OH MY GOD.”

He blinks in confusion. “What’s Taehyung doing here? Why did you bring him here?” he shouts, scrambling to reach for the blanket on the couch.

Taehyung rushes over to his shoes. “Don’t worry about me man, I’ll be off. I was just dropping Y/N off and now I’m going home to my lovely family and friends and... forget I ever saw what I didn’t see,” shoving his feet into his shoes, he bids you farewell. “Um, I’ll see you in the new year. Have a merry christmas!”

“But the muffins Tae--”

The door slams behind him and you sink your face into your hands. You can hear Jungkook curse as he scrambles to sit on the couch, but you can’t bring yourself to care, you feel so embarrassed. You had only just convinced him that you weren’t having sex with him.

“I’m so embarrassed.” you whimper, your choked sobs escaping the cracks in between your fingers.

“I’ve never been more embarrassed in my entire life. You didn’t tell me he was coming,” he snaps. “Or why he was coming? Why did you bring him here? I didn’t give you permission to bring other guys here.” Jungkook can practically touch the jealous venom in his voice, it was tangible, a long rope like fixture, wrapping around your neck.

You stand there staring at him incredulously. “That is not my fault. You’re the naked one! I didn’t plan this, Jeon Jungkook. I’m just as surprised as Taehyung, so don’t you dare blame me.”

He runs his fingers through his hair as you sit on the edge of the couch. Silence runs between you. He settles on the couch opposite you. You watch his face burn a bright pink as he stares at the floor. “Are you and Taehyung a thing now?”

“What?” You search his face for any sign of humor. “What does that have to do with anything? Why were you naked? What’s going on?”

Silence sews into the heavy tension in the air.

“Are we-

“Jungkook, I-

You both stop.

“You go first Jungkook.”

He nods. “I wanted our Christmas to be special.”

“What do you mean?” you ask, your voice tentative, soft even.

“It doesn’t matter anymore,” He turns away from you, ashamed of the words threatening to tear through his throat. He was pissed off, a rage of fire sat at the base of his stomach, threatening to tear him up. “I ...I think ....I ...well,”

You watch him struggle for a good minute before speaking up. “What?” you choke. “Just say it.”

His eyes remain focused on the tiled floor. “This isn’t going to work,” he whispers. The pain in his expression does strange twisty things to the ache in your heart.

You stare at him in silence.

“I’m going so fucking crazy,” he laughs but you can hear the pain in his voice, as he leans back into the couch. You don’t dare tear your eyes away from his face. “You drive me absolutely crazy and I can’t do it anymore, I can’t live with you anymore like this.“

The room tilts as his words flounder you. “Wait, what?”

His jaw tenses into an iron cast when he looks up at you. “I can’t live with you anymore Y/N.” The black eyes on an emotionless face stare cracks into your resolve.

You try hard to stay focused on the words as you look away from the gaze drinking you in. “Again, what the hell are you spouting? What drama are you playing in your head? Just tell me Jungkook, stop dancing around the point.”

“I just, I can’t do this anymore with you.” he says, and for a brief moment you stare at the man you loved without a single inch of recognition. Where is this coming from? “Y/N, you need to leave.”

You shove to your feet. “Jungkook, you need to give me the reason? What did I do? Was it the toothbrush? Because I swear, I’ve only used yours once, it was in the shower box and I had no time and I thought what the heck, I’ve kissed you, but even that isn’t enough to kick me out. Dude, use your words. I can’t mind read.”

“I’m sick of feeling like this. You don’t see me. Everything I do, you don’t see it. I made it so obvious. Everything I do, you just throw it away. And then you’re with Taehyung and I just ...am I not good enough for you?” his voice breaks as he clenches his hands into fists. “You’re just so…”

He deflates into the couch, sinking into its cushions. “Stupid.”

“I’m stupid?” You scoff, rage flooding your system as you pace the room. “So, you hate me right? Because you made how POSSESSIVE you are of me obvious. Does that make any sense to you Jungkook, any sense?”

He snaps his head towards you. “Wait what?”

“I come in here after a Christmas lunch to find you under the Christmas tree naked and then you think you have the right to get angry at me because I bring a friend over.”

He stands up, hands plowing through his hair in frustration. “That’s not-

“Jungkook,” you shout, “What the hell is wrong with you?”

His dark eyes stare into yours. “You.”

“What?”

“You are what is wrong with me,” He says, calmly watching you. As if a flip switched, your mood instantly shifted as a coil tightened in your lower stomach. “You make me feel so fucked up and you have no single idea Y/N.”

Your eyes glistened in warning. “Is that my fault?”

“Yes!”

You scoff. “I can’t mindread Jungkook. You need to tell me or fucking show me or fucking something!”

He groans loudly before letting the hair he had been grabbing in frustration go. “You’re such an idiot.” he snaps, dropping the santa hat to the floor and reaching you with three quick strides.

Raising his warm palms to the sides of your face, he grabs your face and yanks you towards his mouth, covering your lips with his own. The action had been so quick that you hadn’t seen it coming. He kissed you searing and hot; slow and deep.

You close your eyes as your senses fill with sandalwood aftershave, the softness of his lips and the feeling of his tongue against the seem of your lips.

Cradling your jaw, he tilts his head as your lips send a different type of madness through his veins.

He smiles against your mouth when you wrap your hands around his thick neck to tangle your fingers into his silky hair. You kiss him back equally as fervent. There was something about this kiss that spoke volumes, yielding an unspoken passion within him. It carried sincerity. Genuinity. Love.

Everything Jungkook was afraid to say, and in the silence above the sounds of his tongue swirling around your own, secrets lade themselves bare.

He loved you too and you knew it.

Holding him as if he were your lifeline or your anchor, he pulls you close as his fingertips glide down your jawline to rest upon your shoulder.

Your heart raced at the mind numbing effect his fingers had on the little skin he was touching. Jungkook pulls away, his chest heaving with breathlessness as were you.

“I have something to tell you.” he says in between breathes and you caress the back of his head as his eyes flutter closed at the feeling.

“I know,” you whisper shakily, pressing your forehead to his. “What was-

“No talking,” he heaved. “You do too much of that. Let me talk.”

With his hands now resting on your waist, he says softly. “You have driven me so beyond crazy these past three months,” He presses a chaste kiss against your lips. “I’m so in love with you that it’s killing me everyday you don’t know that I love you.”

“Jungkook, I-

“No, let me finish,” he interrupts again, kissing your cheeks. You close your eyes at the feeling, it was just too wonderful. “I want to come home to you and I want you to love me back. I want rings on your finger and children that look like you and smile like me, I think they’d be beautiful. We’d be really happy but I… I need to know if a future like that is possible.”

You open your eyes to desperate brown eyes staring into yours. “Is it possible Y/N?”

He darts his eyes into yours. “Y/N?”

You smile softly. “You want to come home to me?”

He nods. “Every day.”

You smile wildly as you pull him back down to your lips. You had months of kissing to catch up on.

He rubs the tip of his nose against yours as he pulls away, sliding his hands down to your hips. “Say it,” he whispers, his mouth pulling into a smile against yours.

“Say what?”

“Say that you like me.”

You blush several shades of crimson. “I-l likey love you Jeon Jungkook. Even when you forget to replace the toilet paper in the bathroom. Even when you snore into my ear at night. Even when your breath stinks or when you suck up the wifi watching anime-

“I get it. You’ve got the hots for me,” Jungkook can’t help but smirk as he pushes you up against the wall. “Should’ve known you’d fall in love with me.”

You slap his shoulders as he holds your hips. “Need I remind you that you confessed first?”

“Yeah, but you touched me first so we’re even now.”

You lean close to his lips. “Don’t start something you’ll never be able to finish.”

Reaching behind your back, he slowly unzips your dress, revealing a bare chest and light blue panties, as he stares into your eyes.

Your lips are a whisper away when the dress falls to the floor. “I finish every time Y/N.”

Pushing you up against the wall by his closed door, he kisses across your jaw and down your neck. ���Open the door Y/N,” he says in between working his tongue down your neck. With glazed over eyes, you reach out for the golden door knob and turn.

“It’s open.” you muster, scratching your nails down his back. He pushes you through the door until his shins hit the bed. Detaching his lips from your skin, he drops you completely on the mattress.

His room smells like fresh laundry, but when he hovers over you all you smell is his smell. The one that's a mixture between soap, sandalwood and home, you can’t describe it, but the scent that you’ve come to feel safe within.

His surprisingly soft hands don’t leave your thighs, when you settle in his white sheets.

Jungkook crashes his lips against yours. This kiss was intense, passionate and urgent this time as he moved his mouth against yours. You don’t detest the kiss, but you do wrap your arms around his neck again, pulling him down on top of you.

You moan against his mouth when he kisses across your jaw and behind your ear. Jungkook loved your skin, and especially loved how easy his lips left  marks behind.  

He presses wet open mouthed kisses down your neck as his hips slowly grind into yours. You whimper when you feel his hardness against your heat through your panties. His hands quiver at your hips when he feels you swallow against his mouth. It was a crazy thought; him and you together after so long, but he loved it. He could feel pieces of his sanity crawl back, pieces of something broken reform, he could feel himself again after what felt like walking through broken glass. He wonders if his feet will ever have the scars.

He growls against your throat at the thought as his hands hungrily slide over your breasts in a way that makes your stomach clench.

“Let me know if I go too far, I want to take my time with you if I can”

His taut honeycomb muscles sheened with perspiration as his hand delicately traced down your chest. You nodded against him. “It’s okay Jungkook, just keep going.”  

Trailing his fingers down your stomach and over your pubic bone, he slides his hand beneath the waistband of your panties. Shifting his head beside your ear, he whispers into your ear. “I could kiss you all day and all night Y/N,” Lying between your knees, he hovers his face above yours. “But not tonight.”

He watches the shift of pleasure across your face when he delves his fingers through your wet slit. Running your nails down his back, he rubs his rough fingerpads over your clit. “I wish I could film this right now. You look so pretty with my fingers inside of you.”

The pleasure arising from his touch felt like a noose strangling you -you couldn’t breathe- you didn’t want to breathe. “I can’t even joke about this Y/N, you’re making me go crazy right now.”

Plunging his fingers into your entrance, you arch your back off the bed and wrap your arms around him as your body writhed at his ministrations.

“And you do this sound that drives me crazy, I nearly blew my load when I first touched you last time.”

“What sound,” you breathe. “Is it a bad sound? Are you making fun of me?”

The sweaty tips of his hair graze across your cheek when he starts kissing down the valley of your breasts. He laughs over your nipple, the hot breath sending shudders down your spine. “No, it’s a beautiful sound.” he says, as your hands fall to the blankets beside you, clutching the sheets. Rolling his tongue over your nipple, he quickens his pace on your clit.

“Jungk-kook, please,” you beg, holding him tight as if he’d leave you. “Please don’t stop.”

“I like the way you feel around my fingers,” Curving his fingers inside of you, he pumps into you at a leisurely pace, trying to set the pace but you’re so far gone that you can feel your orgasm running towards you. “I bet you do as well, look at you.”

Jungkook slips his fingers out of you as your face turns into the pillow beneath your head to bite it. You whimper into the fabric when he spreads your wetness over his cock.

“What are you doing?” you ask, watching the expression of amazement flutter through his eyes. “Come back here.”

He smiles at you desperately when he starts pulling down your underwear. Lifting your hips off the bed, he pulls them down to your ankles and throws them at the foot of the bed.

“I need to be inside of you. I don’t think I’ll last long. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I can’t wait.” he pleads, dropping his face into your neck.

“Not yet.”

“Please,” he whimpers. “I can’t hold on any longer. Please.”

You pull his face up from your neck. Running your thumb over his cheekbones, you watch him close his eyes and relax against your touch. You smile as you part the inky brown strands of hair on his forehead. Pressing your mouth to his, you kiss him gently. “It’s okay Jungkook, you don’t have to be sorry. We have plenty of time for this.”

He kisses your forehead as he presses the tip of his hardness at your slick sex. Kissing across your cheek to the shell over your ear he whispers lowly. “You ready?”

Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, you nod as he rolls his hips, pushing himself into you.

“Fucking fuck,” he grunts, and you watch him swallow as his eyes close. You gasp as you dig your nails into the skin of his back at the euphoric feeling as he plunged his cock into you, pounding you with every muscle he seemed to have. His hand slides down your abdomen, the pad of his thumb circling on your clit. “You’re so tight, what the fuck.”

He slows his hips as he watches you take his cock. “Why didn’t we do this before?” he chokes, watching your breasts softly bounce.

“Shut up.” you moan, arching your back when he wraps his arm underneath, picking you up to meet his thrusts. It was one of those things, being so close to him. It felt like you were floating in the clouds, and every thrust was pulling you towards Heaven.

“Jungkook,” you whimper brokenly, tangling your fingers through his hair and pulling tight.

You clench around his length when Jungkook picks up speed, relentlessly plunging inside of you. You could feel the pressure building when you could no longer hold back your vocal pleas for more.

Clenching his eyes closed tightly, you watch the orgasm slowly creep across his face in a silent scream as you feel it roll over you, over and over again. And then, it happens.

The stars light galaxies behind your eyes and then all you see is white when your body implodes. Lowering his mouth over yours, he kisses all over your face as his hips pound into you.

“You feel so fucking good.” Thrusting twice more, he stills and with the loudest whimper, he cums inside of you. Dropping his head on top of your chest, you lay there panting, heartbeats pounding against each other.

“That was-

“I feel like a 16 year old,” he says after what feels like a while. “I’m so sorry, I thought I was going to last longer ...did you? Did you finish?”

You feel empty as he pulls out of you. “Are you kidding? I think I came first.”

His sullen expression shifts into the largest smile you’ve ever seen on him. Leaning down to kiss you again, you rub down his back, feeling bad for the scratch marks. They must’ve hurt.

Pulling away, he sits at the base of the bed reaching out for toilet paper on his night stand. Why he had it there, you didn’t want to know. “I knew you’d come first.” he smiles and you roll your eyes as you lay there and make him clean you up.

“Shut up, who was the one begging hmm?” He stills as his onyx eyes stare at you. He doesn’t say anything as he licks his lips and watches you. Rolling your eyes, you grab the pillow beside him and throw it at his head just as he lunges at you. You laugh excitedly before he growls into your ear. “I’ll have you begging. Is that what you want?”

Wrapping your hands around him as he lays beside you, you part his hair. “I want you in any and every form.”

He grins, leaning down and kissing your cheek. “Glad we’re on the same page. Let’s make Boxing Day worth it.”

“Wait what?”

“Boxing Day, us, your box. Get it?”

You sigh loudly. “Oh, because the day after Christmas is Boxing Day and you’re refering to my vagina as a box. Okay, funny,” you say with a blank expression. His eyes light up as he sinks down on top of you.

“How are you still such a savage after what we just did.”

“Just shut up and kiss me okay.”

Shaking his head, he leans down and does exactly that. And you both stay like that for a while, tangled limbs and messy kisses, in and out of sleep, in and out of sex.

And when the moon is visible through the crack of his window, his warm fingertips brush through your sweaty hair as you both sit up and talk.

You’ll never get used to this.

And with jerky hips, he carries you to the shower box in the morning, stopping to pause in the mirror as he looks at his back in horror. All you can do is hide in the crevice between his head and his shoulder in shame.

“You’re lucky I liked it, fuck, I look like I’ve been attacked.”

Unwrapping your legs from him, you sink under the showers hot water and Jungkook slinks in behind you.

“This is really gross but,” he says, lathering soap between his palms. “I love you.” he whispers.

Turning to face him you raise your brow. “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear what you just said.”

He blushes. “I love you, you little shit.”

You grimace at him before turning back and pumping shampoo into your palm. “That’s so gross Jungkook.”

Leaning on his chest, he wraps his arms around you. He smiles into your neck as you try to shake him off of you to wash your hair. “Let me,” he says, massaging your head. “I’ve always wanted to do this.”

“Alright Jeon, just do it right.”

He laughs. “I got this bro, calm down.”

“Bro?”

“I meant love.”

“I like bro better, love is gross.”

“Okay bro…. nope, that's weird. I’m calling you babe.”

“Can I still call you Jungcock?”

He groans. “You can call me whatever babe.”  

It was Christmas Day when it all began and it was Christmas Day when the spirit of giving gave you the shock of your life.

“What is it?” you ask, staring at the off movement on the screen. “Am I going to die? Is it a tumor?”

“This is a sonogram Y/N and this here,” she points to a circular blob on the screen. “Is your baby. You’re pregnant.”

You stare at the screen in absolute horror on Valentine's Day after jokingly peeing on a pregnancy test to comfort the over anxious, lonely but also pregnant wife of Hoseok. And with your shirt up to your breasts, strange fluid on your stomach in the afternoon Jungkook left on a date with your parents, you faint on the table next to Hoseok’s wife -who had her scan first.  

Because sometimes love and happiness comes at a price.

And as Jungkook somewhere across town unknowingly looks through diamond rings with too many zeros with both his mother and yours, he realises the same exact thing. But it was a price he was willing to pay if meant being with you.

You just hoped his reaction to the baby was better than yours.

You’d later learn that his reaction was just like yours, but happy nonetheless. And as he watches his mother happily force feed you meat, he smiles with the curiosity of his future. Because Jungkook wasn’t searching for love and happiness, he just managed to find it suddenly, unexpectedly and unsuspectedly, in you.

Home (n): 2. If home is where the heart is, he was yours and you were his.